A Rough Start
by ItzMegan73
Summary: Overnight irresponsible Edward goes from bachelor to father of a 5 yr old. Meanwhile responsible, prepared Bella begins her first job as Kindergarten teacher at Forks Elementary. When irresponsible meets the epitome of responsible, sparks will fly!
1. Chapter 1 Father Figure

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 1 – Father Figure**

Edward put his empty beer bottle down on the table with a loud clatter, definitely a sign that he'd had enough. He looked over at his friend, Emmett and held up his hand, a signal not to engage in another round.

"I swear, if it wasn't for porn, a good brew, and Rosalie when she's not on the rag, life wouldn't be worth living," Emmett said as he slumped down in his chair.

The Forks lumber mill had just made its second round of cutbacks and though Edward, Emmett and their good friend Jasper, had managed to come away with their jobs intact, they had a lot of friends who didn't make it. And in Forks, there weren't many ways to make a living.

"You thinking about relocating?" Edward asked Emmett.

Emmett shrugged. "I think about it all the time, but in reality, you have to have money to move and I don't have any. Companies are hardly hiring and the ones that are, aren't paying moving expenses."

Edward nodded in agreement. He'd been trying to relocate from Forks to Seattle for the past six months, but he hadn't been able to find anything that didn't require a college degree. Besides, now was not the time to take a vacation from work, and that's exactly what he would have needed to attend a job interview out of town.

"It's definitely a never-ending cycle," Edward said.

Emmett let out a loud belch before popping a handful of peanuts into his mouth. "Oh, look. Here's Jasper."

Edward turned to see a forlorn looking Jasper Hale approaching.

"Hey, man, what's up?" Edward greeted.

Jasper worked in the administrative offices at the lumber company, so his day had been even more stressful than Edward and Emmett, as he had to look into the faces of men he'd worked alongside for years and hand them their last paycheck.

"Kill me now," Jasper sighed as he sat down in the chair that had been reserved for him. "I had to break up two fist fights today. Tension is running high."

"Just tell me we've reached the end of the cutbacks," Edward sighed.

"No can do, bro," Jasper mirrored Edward's heavy sigh. "Though people might not lose their jobs, if they can't break even on this round, they're going to start cutting hours."

"Fuck," Emmett muttered.

"Now, don't go getting worried, yet," Jasper held up his hand against the notion. "It's a big if. And if you guys keep doing what you're supposed to be doing, you'll be fine."

Edward wasn't at all comforted by Jasper's words, but he didn't let on. Instead, he listened and laughed at one of Emmett's asinine jokes and tried not to think of work, at least for a few minutes.

"Hey, Edward, did you ever find out why Social Services was calling you?" Jasper asked suddenly.

"Nah. They're closed by the time I get off and I don't have time to deal with that shit at work. Especially not now that they're watching everything so closely," Edward explained.

Ironically, when Edward stumbled in from the bar that Friday evening, there was a message from someone named Heather calling him from Social Services. She referenced a certified letter that Edward was sure he hadn't received. As soon as he deleted the message he had no intention of returning, Edward shuffled out to his overflowing mailbox and pulled out three different peach-colored slips telling him that he had a certified letter to pick up from the post office.

"Maybe some rich relative put you in their will," Emmett said the next Monday over the hum of the saw. "You should check into that shit."

As promising as that sounded, Edward knew his luck didn't run that way. He fully expected the letters to reveal some long lost income tax bill or the fact that someone was using his social security number, but he was responsible for all the debt they'd racked up.

"No. I don't have time," Edward insisted.

So he let the matter drop for another day.

And that turned into two days, which turned into a week.

On Friday of the following week, a woman dressed in a steel gray suit, entered the lumberyard. Eyes all over the area turned in her direction, as it was obvious that she wasn't from around there.

"Edward Cullen!" The loud voice of the foreman boomed throughout the vast area.

Edward looked up to see the well-dressed woman standing next to Jasper and the plant supervisor.

"This lady needs a word with you," the foreman shouted when he saw Edward take notice.

Edward quickly moved in their direction, anxious to get all eyes off him. He threw an inquisitive glance in Jasper's direction, but Jasper merely shrugged, having no information to offer.

"Gentlemen, is there a secure room where Mr. Cullen and I can speak in private?" the woman asked.

"Sure, take my office," the foreman offered.

The woman nodded before gesturing for Edward to follow her inside. Once alone, she locked the door, closed the blinds and turned to face Edward.

"Well, Mr. Cullen, you sure are a hard one to get a hold of," she smiled and extended her hand to him. "I'm Heather Daily from the Department of Social Services. Have you gotten my calls? Letters?"

"Yeah, but I work. By the time I get off work no one is available for me to call," Edward excused himself.

"That's what lunch breaks are for, Mr. Cullen," Heather smirked.

Edward couldn't help noticing the edge to the woman's voice. It unnerved him and made him immediately anxious.

Instead of engage in further small talk, Heather put a file folder on the desk and pulled out a photo.

"Do you recognize the woman in this picture, Mr. Cullen?" she asked.

Edward squinted at the familiar face and immediately knew who it was. "Yeah. That's a girl I went to high school with. Her name is Jessica. Jessica…Stanley."

"And do you remember the last time you saw Miss Stanley, Mr. Cullen?"

The way she kept saying his name, 'Mr. Cullen', made Edward think she was going to put him in handcuffs and haul him off to prison if he even looked at her wrong.

Edward let out a loud burst of air. "Gee, uh…it's been years. At least five, I'd say. We dated a little bit after high school but then she moved to Oregon with her parents and I stayed here. Why?"

Instead of answer, Heather pulled out another photograph, this time, of a little boy with piercing green eyes and light brown hair.

"How about this picture. Do you know who this is?"

Edward looked down at the child and instantly saw the resemblance to Jessica. But aside from the eye color, there appeared to be nothing that genetically tied him to Edward.

"I don't have any kids," Edward said without delay.

"Well according to this birth certificate recorded August 26, 2004 in Salem, Oregon, you have a son, Anthony David Stanley, born August 4, 2004."

Edward didn't pretend not to know that Jessica had gotten pregnant. Almost two months after they'd broken up, she'd called him and told him that she was "late". After profusely telling her that there was no way in hell that he was getting back together with her, he'd asked her what she wanted to do about 'it'. That's when she informed him that she didn't want to be with his "unmotivated, low-class, going-nowhere ass" and that she would "take care of it". Three days later he'd mailed her two hundred dollars and they never spoke again. As far as Edward had been concerned, she'd taken care of "it".

Now he was being told that "it" had grown into a "he" and she had effectively been _taking care_ of him for the past five years.

"How do you know he's mine? Jessica never mentioned anything about having a son. Are you sure you've got the right guy?" Edward asked.

"Of course you'll need to submit to a paternity test, Mr. Cullen, but I'm not here for a delayed baby shower. The reason that I am now involved is because Miss Stanley passed away nearly a month ago. Since you are listed on the birth certificate as next of kin, we have been attempting to release him into your care, contingent, of course, on a paternity test."

"Jessica…_died?_" Edward asked incredulously. "What happened?"

"Car accident. She and her mother were returning from a lunch date and they pulled out into oncoming traffic."

"Her mother?"

"The only survivor was the driver of the other vehicle. The little boy was not in the car at the time."

Heather's no-nonsense demeanor was beginning to bug Edward. She was talking about the lives of human beings as if they were inconsequential and unimportant.

"And where is he now?" Edward asked, trying to wrap his mind around the situation.

"Foster care."

Edward's heart sank at the notion of it. "What about Jessica's dad? Why isn't he with him?"

"Mr. Stanley is almost seventy years old. His health does not allow him to take on this type of responsibility."

While Edward sat mulling the whole situation over, Heather was pulling something that looked like it belonged in a laboratory out of her briefcase.

"Now if you're willing to submit to a paternity test, we can get this situation sorted out in a timely manner."

"Sure," Edward shrugged.

It was amazing how fast the state could get something done when they wanted to. Four days later Edward received a certified letter informing him that the probability of paternity for a Mr. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen to an Anthony David Stanley was 99.99%.

Edward Cullen had a son.

That Thursday, after work, Edward made the tiring drive from Forks to Salem, Oregon. Though his heart stung a bit knowing his son had to spend extra time in a foster home, it wouldn't do either one of them any good if he'd lost his job in the midst of this ordeal.

_My son._

No matter how often Edward said it to himself, and he did say it often, it still wasn't becoming real to him.

Over the solitary hours of his journey, Edward imagined meeting his son for the first time. It played out over many different scenarios, all of the imaginations getting hung up at the same point: _did he introduce himself as 'Edward' or as 'Dad'? _That line of questioning led to Edward wondering if the little boy had ever considered anyone else to be his father. Did Jessica have a doting boyfriend out there somewhere that had been there since the very beginning but had no legal rights? Would the little boy whimper some other guys name in the middle of the night – night terrors and separation anxiety gripping his tiny soul?

The little boy… Anthony was his name. Edward wondered if Jessica had planned to one day tell him that they had a son, because in her giving him Edward's middle name, it was as if she was securing a tie to her son's father, even if she'd never told him of his existence.

As the city of Salem began to appear on destination markers along the interstate, Edward felt his level of apprehension elevate. He glanced over that the empty passenger seat and wondered if he should have brought a present, a toy, to break the ice. His internal monologue was badgering and accusing. _Of course he should have brought a toy! The little guy…Anthony, had just lost his mother and had to move in with a complete bunch of strangers! _ He probably didn't have much to call his own anymore. A toy probably would have been nice.

Six fast food stops, four coffee runs and three gas station trips later, Edward exited the off-ramp and followed the short directions to Gardener Avenue. His eyes darted around cautiously as he considered the neighborhood the little boy…Anthony…_his son_ had been staying in for the past few weeks. It appeared to be a lower middle class dwelling area, with overgrown lawns, broken fences and dilapidated vehicles on the street. Still, it looked better than where Edward lived. At least these places _had_ lawns.

4571 Gardner Avenue. Edward found the house much too soon. He hadn't even solved the dilemma of how he would introduce himself to his son for the first time. And speaking of introductions, how should he introduce himself to the person who answered the door? Would he announce himself as Edward Cullen, the father? Or Edward Cullen, Anthony's father? Or would he simply state "Edward Cullen" and leave it up to them to form the appropriate conclusion?

Even as his feet made it to the door, he still hadn't made a decision.

He knocked once, as opposed to ringing the doorbell, halfway hoping that no one was home; a way to buy himself a little more time to come to terms with his situation.

There was a shuffling sound on the other side of the door, a pause, in which Edward assumed someone was looking out of the peephole, and then the distinct sound of a safety chain being unlatched.

The door opened and a mature African-American woman, roughly in her late fifties to early sixties, opened the door. She took one look at Edward and turned her head to call behind her.

"Ant'ny! Your father's here!"

And that settled that.

The woman turned back to Edward and looked him over, obviously searching for the similarities between him and the young boy. Her eyes raked over Edward's auburn-hued locks, taking in the numerous cowlicks that cause it to stand on end. They darted to his hands, his chin, the structure of his jaw and his mouth, before landing on the windows to his soul: his eyes.

"Yep. You look just like him." She muttered.

And then she moved slightly to the side and a small little boy, with lighter hair and huge green eyes, peered curiously from behind her.

Edward started at the sight. First of all, Anthony was smaller than Edward had expected. _Weren't five-year-olds taller?_ _Is he potty trained?_ And second of all, he looked like his mother…Edward's mother. An undetermined emotion seized Edward's heart in that moment and wouldn't let go. This was his child. His flesh and blood.

Still, it felt strange and foreign.

"Hi." Edward heard his own voice for the first time in hours.

Anthony said nothing and gave no indication of greeting. He simply blinked and stared.

"Well, here's his stuff," the woman, who had yet to introduce herself, gestured towards a few suitcases and backpack.

"That's it?" Edward asked. Before the question was all the way out of his mouth, a small piece of paper was being thrust into his hands.

"This is the address to his granddad's house. He'll ship the rest of his things to you."

Edward nodded. "Uh, thanks…?"

"Dotty." And then she turned her attention to Anthony and gently stroked his cheek with her finger. "Now remember what we talked about. You be a good boy for your daddy, ya hear?"

Anthony nodded minutely and stole another glance at Edward before leaning over to pick up his backpack. He unzipped it and pulled out a small puppet, aged and worn.

Edward eyed the toy conspicuously. _Yep. I should have brought a toy. _Anything would be better than the doll Anthony was gripping now. _A boy with a doll? That shit has to go._

Dotty struggled to lift the largest suitcase and Edward quickly took it off her hands. He led the way to his waiting vehicle and heaved it into the trunk before heading off to get the rest of the luggage. As he loaded everything up, Dotty put a booster seat in the back before securing Anthony in with the seatbelt.

Edward said an awkward farewell to Dotty before dragging his hands nervously through his hair and climbing in the driver's seat. Under the guise of adjusting his rearview mirror, Edward used the instrument to conspicuously view his offspring in the backseat. His eyes roamed over the child in much the way Dotty had eyeballed him. Edward took in the clean and seemingly in fashion shirt, the small, knobby knees, the hands that looked like his father's…Edward's father's, the small mouth that was settled into a pout, and then the eyes.

Anthony's gaze was piecing as he and Edward stared at one another through the reflective instrument.

And then Anthony finally spoke.

"I hate you."


	2. Chapter 2 9 to 5

_Thank you so much to everyone who has read, reviewed and put this story on alert. The response has been overwhelming and I truly am grateful. A/N's aren't a norm for me, but I simply couldn't pass up this opportunity to thank you...and to give a shout out to my Twitter pals, the ladies on the Tutor forum and the girls at the Gaz. Love you all!_

* * *

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 2 – 9 to 5**

Bella stood in front of the floor length mirror (that also served as her closet door) and pinched herself with delight. She had been working towards this moment for six long years and now finally; _finally_, she was starting her very first post-college job. Come Monday morning, Bella was the new kindergarten teacher at Forks Elementary School.

Ironically, Bella's mother, Renee, claims that Forks, Washington was the town that almost ruined her marriage. The dreary, rainy days, lack of entertainment and all around frumpiness of the town drove her into such a catatonic state of depression that she had to leave her husband in search of something better. It only took two months for Bella's father, Charlie, to follow after her and the two reconciled and relocated to Phoenix, Arizona where they currently reside. When Bella had announced her job offer in Forks to her parents, her mother had grimaced and told her that she probably wouldn't visit often. On the contrary, her father had asked how often he could visit before she'd consider him a burden. Many of his friends were still in Forks and he would utilize any and all opportunities to see them again.

Before retiring for the night, her last evening as an unemployed student, Bella carefully laid out the casual pants and cardigan set she planned to wear the next day. After setting out her briefcase and the little trinkets she planned to decorate her desk with, Bella shut out the light and went to sleep.

All of her preparations spoke volumes for who Bella was. The attention to detail, the methodical way she planned every facet of her day, and of her life for that matter, was often touted as one of her strengths, but as her close friends often told her, it was also a fault.

During her final year, while she was working to get her teaching credential, Bella had a minor respiratory attack that she says was brought on by an allergic reaction to the allergy medication she'd taken. However, Angela, Ben and Tyler, her close friends back home, had known the truth. In her quest for perfection, Bella had earned her very first anxiety attack.

As an only child, Bella had set her own personal standards, and without having the trials and setbacks of siblings to compare herself to, Bella had a hard time settling for anything less than the best. It was a standard, however, that she only applied to her own life. She never held her friends to her personal goals and was empathetic to the consequences that resulted from their errors. She did, however, try feverishly to learn from others' mistakes, so much so, that she had a reputation for rarely trying anything new; a wallflower at the dance of life.

At exactly six o'clock the next morning, two different alarm clocks, set five minutes apart, went off in Bella's adequately sized two-bedroom apartment. Immediately, Bella sprung to life, thanks to eight hours of recommended sleep. The coffee pot in the kitchen, set to automatically brew, simulated her actions, waking up and kicking in to gear as soon as its timer told it to.

Bella dried her hair after a soothing shower and dressed in the outfit she'd laid out. After a healthy breakfast and a cup of coffee, Bella grabbed the lunch she'd packed the night before, along with her briefcase, and headed off to work.

By the time the rest of the staff of Forks Elementary had arrived at the school, Bella had labeled all of her desks with her students' names, written that day's lesson on the board, decorated her desk, and alphabetized her classroom library by title.

At exactly nine o'clock, Bella was in high sprits as she stood at the door to greet her students and their parents for the first day of school. Little hands clutched at pant legs and skirt bottoms as some children struggled with being separated from their parents for the first time.

"Sierra," Bella bent down so that she was eye level with a crying little girl. "I have been waiting to meet you all morning. Do you know why?" When the little girl shook her head, Bella continued. "Because the letter I got from you this summer said that your very favorite thing is ponies. And guess what? I love ponies, too. And from one pony lover to another, guess what I put on your desk?"

Sierra looked inquisitive, but slightly unconvinced. Bella held out her hand for the little girl to take. "Can I show you the special surprise I put on your desk?"

Slowly Sierra nodded, but made sure her mother didn't go far as she allowed Bella to lead her to where she'd be sitting. A slow smile spread across her face when she saw the coloring page of a pony and a brand new box of crayons on her desk.

"I bet your mom would love it if you would color this picture for her so that she could put it on her refrigerator today after she picks you up from school. What do you think?"

Sierra nodded. "I'm going to make this picture for you, Mommy," she said to her mother.

Sierra's mother mouthed a silent 'thank you' to Bella before tiptoeing to the edge of the room with the hope of making a successful exit.

Bella was thankful to her mentor teacher who'd given her the idea of having the incoming students' parents fill out an information sheet telling her something special about their child. It was always helpful to find a common ground when trying to manage a classroom.

By the time the school day had ended, Bella was exhausted. Many of the kindergarten teaching positions she'd applied for were half-day programs, but Forks had a full day kindergarten that ended at three in the afternoon. Though it didn't start until nine, it still made for a long day. As Bella dragged her tired form to the staff parking lot, she regretted telling her friend Rosalie that she'd meet her at happy hour.

Happy hour. One of Forks' biggest oxymorons. Almost no one was actually happy to be in an overcrowded, understaffed room for longer than an hour to receive watered down drinks.

"I didn't think you'd come," Rosalie said when she saw Bella walking towards her in the crowded bar.

"I almost didn't," Bella said as she looked around before she took a seat. "I'm really tired."

"Kindergartners kicking your butt already?" Rosalie grinned.

"I'd like to see you after six hours with seventeen five-year-olds," Bella challenged.

Rosalie Hale was a real estate agent and she and Bella met through the property management company Bella had contacted when she'd first moved to the area. The manager had looked at Bella's debt to income ratio and immediately called Rosalie, stating that Bella was a prime candidate for the first-time-buyer program. However, Bella had seen too many of her friends make too many changes too quickly; even though Rosalie had been a pretty persuasive salesperson, Bella wouldn't change her mind. Finishing school, moving to a new town and starting a new job were enough major changes for one year, so apartment living would have to do.

Still, Bella had immediately liked Rosalie's tenacity and can-do attitude. The evening meetings where Rosalie had tried to talk Bella into buying property had turned into a tradition, and so, at least once a week, Rosalie and Bella met at one dining/drinking establishment around town and chatted about their experiences.

"So, how are things with Emmett?" Bella broached the subject cautiously.

Last week, Rosalie had shared that Emmett was really stressed out about his job and as a result had been drinking more often, and in larger quantities. He'd missed out on a daytrip they'd planned because he'd been hung over.

"Same. He's really defensive when I talk to him about his drinking and we always end up fighting. If I don't want to fight, I have to ignore it – and it's getting pretty hard to ignore." A sad expression colored Rosalie's face as she spoke.

Bella empathized with Rosalie as she spoke, but a part of her wondered if she was only hearing part of the story – the safe part. _Was there more to it?_

"My dad drinks a lot, too," Bella began. "Luckily, he's a happy drunk. My mom loves to get him wasted and then ask him if she can plan some exotic getaway…Is Emmett like that? A happy drunk, I mean."

Rosalie immediately recognized what Bella was trying to ask her and instantly defended Emmett's honor.

"Emmett is pretty much Emmett, drunk or sober. He just doesn't remember shit, and he's a slob. But he's not mean, he's not vulgar and he's _not_ violent," Rosalie was adamant.

Bella nodded. "Good. And I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply that –"

"Don't worry about it," Rosalie interrupted her. "I can see how you'd be worried about it. But trust me, Emmett wouldn't lay a hand on me. And if he did, I'd kick his ass myself, not come crying to you about it."

Though she enjoyed Rosalie's company, Bella was relieved to be on her way home forty-five minutes later. She needed to review her lesson plan for the following day, make her lunch, iron her pants and cut out seventeen pumpkins for an art project.

"Eighteen," Vivian Bard, the office secretary, said to her the next morning.

"No, I only have seventeen students," Bella corrected.

"Yesterday, after you left, a father came in and enrolled his son. Cutest little thing you ever did see."

Bella looked at the barely thirty-something woman in awe. "Eighteen students and no aide? I'm going to die."

"Budget cutbacks are a bitch, aren't they?"

Bella laughed before asking Vivian for the information on her new student. With a word of thanks, Bella accepted a folder and read as much information as she could on a little boy from Salem, Oregon as she walked to her classroom.

She wasn't expecting that little boy to be standing outside of her classroom when she arrived.

"Oh, hello there!" Bella greeted him, shocked to see a kindergartener alone so early in the morning.

When he remained silent, Bella mentally scolded herself for not introducing herself first. _Of course he knew better than to talk to strangers._

"I'm Miss Swan, the kindergarten teacher. Are you Anthony?"

Anthony nodded slowly.

Bella looked at her watch and noted that there was still almost an hour before school started. "You're very early, Anthony. Is your mom or dad here with you?"

Anthony shook his head.

"How'd you get here today?" Bella questioned.

"Dad," Anthony rasped, as if the word referred to a title and not a person.

"Oh. Well maybe Dad doesn't know what time school starts. We'll have to let him know that you might be able to get a few extra minutes of sleep in the morning instead of getting here so early," Bella smiled.

She couldn't help but noticed how sad Anthony looked as he stood their staring up at her like a lost child.

"I'm going to write a letter to your daddy so he knows what time to bring you to school. While I'm doing that, would you like to come in and color?"

Anthony seemed interested in that idea, so Bella opened her classroom door and followed him inside.

As Anthony colored, Bella read over his file and noted that his mother had recently passed away. She tried to conceal the audible gasp that escaped her lips. _No wonder he's so sad! _And the poor father, having just lost his wife? It's no wonder that he's a little scatterbrained and off on his schedule. Immediately Bella changed her mind about sending a note home, concluding that this was probably just Anthony's dad's way of making sure Anthony had enough time to acclimate himself to a new school.

No, she wouldn't send a note home. Instead, she would remind Anthony to tell his father that he didn't have to be at school until nine o'clock.

"Can you remember to tell Dad nine o'clock?" Bella asked Anthony as he lined up with the rest of the class at the end of the day in preparation of going home.

Bella fought off the urge to wrap her arms around Anthony and give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek as he promised to tell his dad what time school started.

But the next morning, Anthony was again at the kindergarten classroom door just as Bella was arriving.

"Anthony, buddy, what are you doing here so early again? Did you remember to tell your dad what time to bring you to school?" Bella asked.

"Nine o'clock," Anthony reiterated.

"And what happened?"

"He had to work."

Understanding lit Bella's features and she smiled at Anthony in relief. "Oh, sweetie, I think your dad thinks we have a before school program. We actually don't, but don't worry, I'll tell him that. Would you like to draw me a picture while we wait for the rest of your class to join us?"

Anthony gave Bella a smile that brightened her morning that much more.

The faint sound of crayons against construction paper as Anthony scribbled away at his desk provided soothing background music as Bella considered how to tactfully approach Anthony's father in written form.

From the file in her desk, Bella knew that his name was Edward Cullen and his birth date revealed that he was just a year older than her.

_"Dear Mr. Cullen,"_

That was as far as Bella got before she looked up and noticed that Anthony was sitting quietly with his hand raised in the air.

"Oh, Anthony, when it's just us, you can come up to my desk. You don't have to wait to be called on," Bella smiled. "What can I help you with?"

"Miss Swan, I'm hungry," Anthony announced.

"Oh. Well what did you have for breakfast this morning?"

Anthony shrugged his shoulders. Bella took that as a bad sign. He should have had breakfast less than an hour ago. How could he already not remember what he had? _Unless he hadn't had anything._

"Did you not eat anything this morning?" Bella asked softly so that Anthony would know that he wasn't in trouble.

"There wasn't any milk. I don't like cereal with no milk," Anthony explained.

Bella nodded as if she understood perfectly. "Well I don't think anyone would mind if you had a little snack from your lunch. What did you bring for lunch?"

Anthony reached into his pocket and pulled out a crumpled dollar bill.

_One dollar? His dad sent him to school with one dollar for lunch? What was he supposed to buy for that?_

But of course Bella couldn't express her thoughts to Anthony. Instead, she walked over to her desk and pulled out her own lunch.

"Do you like yogurt, Anthony?" she asked.

Anthony nodded. "My mom used to give me yogurt all the time."

Bella's heart sank at the mention of Anthony's mom. From what she'd read, it hadn't even been six months since something had claimed her life. Bella had searched through Anthony's files for anything that would indicate that he'd been assessed to see if he was even emotionally ready for school, but nothing had been found.

When Bella sat the yogurt in front of Anthony, he tore into it immediately. She was watching him intently when Vivian came into the classroom carrying a box of books.

"What's this?" Vivian asked as she glanced up at the clock.

"Oh, one of my students keeps getting dropped off pretty early," Bella replied.

Vivian shook her head adamantly. "You've got to nip this in the bud, Bella. Otherwise you'll have eighteen kids here before the sun rises."

Bella motioned for Vivian to walk with her over to her desk. The last thing she wanted was for Anthony to feel like a burden. She definitely didn't want him to overhear what Vivian was implying.

"I'm going to send a note home to his father today. At first I let it slide, thinking he just didn't know what time school started, but Anthony said he told him."

"And I told him, too. He asked if we had a morning and afterschool program. I told him we offered an afterschool program, but I also told him that he couldn't drop his son off before eight fifteen," Vivian explained.

Knowing that Mr. Cullen was well informed but chose to disregard the information infuriated Bella. What kind of father would leave such a young child unattended at a new school? _The same kind of father that sends him to school on an empty stomach with a dollar for lunch._

Suddenly Bella had no problem scripting her letter to Mr. Edward Cullen.


	3. Chapter 3 Under Pressure

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 3 – Under Pressure**

"This is so exciting, Edward! It almost doesn't seem real, huh? Are you still in shock?" Alice asked.

Edward watched her lips moving, but he wasn't sure if she really expected him to answer the questions, especially with how fast she was shooting them off.

Alice had been Jasper's other half for as long as Edward had known him. Yet, Edward didn't know her that well, but she seemed to think they were bosom buddies. That most likely stemmed from the fact that Jasper told her absolutely _everything_ that Edward mentioned to him.

"We should have a little party for him. Like, a welcome to Forks party. What do you think?" Alice continued.

"Why? It's not his birthday. He doesn't need a party," Edward frowned. "He'll feel weird."

"He's a kid and it's a fucking party, man. What kid doesn't want a party?" Emmett asked.

"I actually think it's a great idea," Jasper spoke up. "We could have a barbeque or something."

Edward simply shook his head, but his friends could tell they were winning him over.

"When?" he finally asked.

"How about next week?" Emmett asked.

"Next week is Back to School Night," Alice quickly stated.

Edward was about to ask her how she knew about Back to School Night. Hell, _he_ barely knew when Back to School Night was and he had a kid at the school! However, before he could speak, Jasper and Emmett started going on and on about how they were also planning on attending Back to School Night.

"What the hell are you guys talking about?" Edward asked.

"We always go to Back to School Night," Emmett told him. "Free food."

"Yeah, you just go stand in line like you've bought a ticket and they dish you up as much as you can eat," Jasper rubbed his belly.

"That's sick," Edward shook his head.

"No, the taxes that I pay – that's sick. This is just me getting a little rebate," Emmett quipped.

"I'm going to act like I don't know you," Edward warned them.

"So you're going, then?" Alice asked. Jasper must have told her what Edward had said about avoiding Anthony's teacher, _Miss Swan_.

Edward had gotten a total of two letters from her in the past couple weeks, one he made the mistake of reading and one he did not. Apparently she thought it was up to her what time he got to work each morning.

"They have to know people have jobs, right?" Edward had said to Jasper after the first letter had arrived. "I mean, we can't all start work at ten, or whatever the hell time teachers start their day."

Jasper had sorrowfully said that Alice would help out if she could, but her job as a pharmacy clerk required her to be at work at seven-thirty. Emmett had spoken up then, stating that Rosalie didn't have a maternal bone in her body, otherwise he would have asked her to help, too.

"Fuck her," Edward had said of Anthony's teacher. "She's probably some shriveled up old lady who's lost touch with reality, too busy reading books about talking cats and rats."

And in that mindset, Edward had successfully ignored the requests for him to drop Anthony off at school after eight-fifteen in the morning. He did, however, take heed the suggestion that he provide his son healthy snacks. He'd made sure to send Anthony to school with an apple and whatever else he had in the house. That week it happened to be soda crackers.

Edward ignored the question regarding Back to School Night. He knew it would make him look like a bad father, but the truth of the matter was that if he didn't have to go, then he wasn't going. After a long day at work, and an even longer day at home trying to figure out fatherhood, the last thing Edward wanted to do was add an additional event to his day where he had to be "on".

"Hey," Jasper tapped Edward on the arm and leaned over so that no one else would hear what he was saying. "Did you tell your parents that they had a grandkid yet?"

Edward shook his head but offered no additional information on the topic. All Jasper knew was that Edward didn't talk to his parents. He couldn't ask them for money, shelter, transportation or support in any way. Edward never talked about why and his friends knew not to ask.

It was five o'clock when Edward arrived at Forks Elementary to retrieve Anthony. He tossed the afterschool aide a cautionary glance, warning her not to mess with him. He was tired and hungry and all he wanted to do was get home.

"Let's go," he said to Anthony firmly.

Slowly Anthony stood up, pushed in his chair and then put the crayons back in the bucket he'd removed them from – one by one.

"Come on, Anthony," Edward urged. "If you were moving any slower you'd be standing still."

Edward noticed the aide shoot him a dirty look, but he paid her no mind. Instead, he grabbed Anthony's backpack and held his jacket out to him.

"I don't want to wear my jacket. I'm hot," Anthony protested.

"It's raining outside. You need to put it on," Edward insisted.

Anthony looked irritated as he shrugged the small jacket on over his shoulders, but he didn't say another word.

Once they were home, Edward searched the contents of his refrigerator for something edible to eat. There were take-out containers galore, the contents of which would rival any high school science lab.

A loaf of bread caught his eye from the counter and he immediately pulled out a slice and sniffed at it. It was stale. _Toast._

Four eggs sat confined in a carton that had expired three days ago. Edward shrugged at it and pulled a shallow pan out of the cabinet next to his stove. He turned on the range top and managed to crack the eggs into the pan with minimal shell inclusion.

"Damn," Edward muttered minutes later when most of his eggs stuck to the pan and scorched. He salvaged as much as he could and put it on a plate with two pieces of toast before sitting it on the table for Anthony.

"I'm not hungry," Anthony said when Edward offered him dinner.

"You have to eat," Edward told him.

"But I don't feel like eating. I don't feel good," Anthony complained.

"You don't feel good because you haven't eaten," Edward told him. "I want you to at least try to eat some of your dinner."

Sluggishly, Anthony pulled himself off the couch and trudged toward the small card table that was set up in the meager kitchen. Unhurriedly, he took a seat and picked at the overcooked eggs and dry toast.

Edward watched him momentarily before grabbing a half eaten bag of potato chips and a cold beer and making his way to his favorite chair in front of the television.

When a commercial about messy kids and their need for thick napkins appeared on the screen, Edward looked over at the little boy that now shared his home. Anthony appeared to be nothing like the few children Edward had had the opportunity to witness. He wasn't loud. He didn't speak often and he rarely demanded attention.

In his silent observation of his son, Edward noticed his rosy cheeks and the bad posture he displayed as he slouched down in the chair. Anthony sat with both hands on the table – his right fisted and slightly hovering in the air. He then unclenched his fingers and ran them quickly though his hair.

That one simple movement caused Edward to freeze where he sat. _My habit. He's got my habit. How is that possible? Did he learn that from me in the short time he's been here? Or has he always done it?_

The litany of unspoken questions may have continued well into the night had not a shift in Anthony's demeanor distracted Edward. He noticed how the child winced at the swallow of each bite of egg and he wondered if it was because the carton had said they were expired.

"What's wrong, Anthony?" Edward asked from where he sat.

"I'm not really hungry. May I be excused?"

Edward glanced at the food on the plate, most of which was still intact. "You don't want anything else to eat?"

Anthony shook his head slowly.

"Alright. Throw that food in the sink, then."

Anthony did as he was told before he went into the living room and perched himself on the edge of the sofa, across from his father.

It wasn't until a woman in a scantly clad outfit, and her obviously inebriated significant other, began to verbally attack a police office that Edward realized the television show he was watching might not be considered appropriate for children. But when he looked to see if Anthony was watching, he saw that he had laid down on the couch, his back away from the offending programming.

"Anthony?"

Immediately the little boy sat up. "Huh?"

"It's not even seven yet. You're tired already?"

Anthony nodded.

Normally, this wouldn't be a problem and Edward would be more than happy to put him to bed early, but the issue was logistics. Since he only had one bedroom, each night Edward made up the couch for Anthony to sleep on comfortably. An early bedtime meant that Edward would be relegated to another area of the house, and when you lived in a tiny one-bedroom apartment, the bedroom was about the only other place to go. And Edward definitely wasn't ready to retire for the evening. Television and beer – it was how he relaxed after a stressful day on the job.

"Well…do you need a bath?" Edward asked, thinking that a little warm water might wake Anthony up a little and put off his bedtime.

"No. I don't need a bath," Anthony said quickly. _Of course he didn't. What little boy wanted a bath?_

"It's a little early for bed…" Edward trailed off. What else could he suggest for him to do?

"Maybe I can sleep in your room." Anthony suggested.

There was a slight hesitation as Edward thought of the condition of his bedroom. It wasn't so much messy as it was…stripped. There were no sheets on the bed, no curtains on the windows and no doors on the closet. _Weren't kids usually afraid of dark, open closets?_

"Uh…well…maybe for a little while. I'll just go…straighten up a bit," Edward said as he emerged from his chair.

But when he made it to his room a little later with the only clean bed covering he could find, a flat sheet with a floral pattern on it, he saw that he was too late. Anthony had already climbed into the middle of his bed and was fast asleep.

After an additional episode or two of C.O.P.S., Edward drug himself to his bedroom. He stood in the middle of his room, staring down at Anthony. He hadn't even bothered to change him out of his school clothes – he even still had his jacket on. Edward wondered if that was the reason behind the ruddy hue of his cheeks.

Carefully, Edward tried to extract the jacket from Anthony, but the rousing movement disturbed him and caused him to stir. When he'd successfully removed one arm, Edward rolled Anthony over to find his left side completely drenched in sweat. _Poor kid was sweltering in all those layers!_

When Edward finally had the small jacket in his possession, a tag on the inside of it caught his eye: _Loved and Cherished by Grandma_.

Edward lay down next to his son, his eyes fixed upon the small sleeping form. In the whirlwind that had become his life since Anthony had come to live with him, Edward hadn't had time to focus on the fact that Anthony was mourning the loss of three people who, up until recently, had been his entire world. In the pictures Anthony drew at school, Edward always noticed the same two women and a man in a wheelchair: his mother, his grandmother and his grandfather.

As Edward dozed off, he thought of what he should be doing to help his son get through this trying time. Anthony wasn't much of a talker – and even if he were, Edward wouldn't know what to say to him about it. After all, he was only five years old. How intellectual of a conversation could they have?

Sleep overtook Edward before he could attempt to answer that question.

A shrill cry woke him less than an hour later.

At the sound, Edward bolted upright in his bed and instinctively reached for the baseball bat he kept hidden beneath it. However, when he was coherent, seconds later, Edward realized that it was Anthony who was making all the ruckus.

"What's going on?" Edward asked, still struggling to get his bearings.

"My ear hurts," Anthony wailed.

Edward cursed under his breath as he got up to turn on the overheard light. Anthony squinted up at him in the brightness, and Edward could see that the boy was flushed and uncomfortable.

"Where does it hurt?" Edward asked.

When Anthony pointed to his ear, Edward peered into it as if he was gathering information, but in reality, he had no clue what he was looking for. With one finger, he softly poked at Anthony's earlobe.

Nothing.

Next Edward moved his finger to press on the cartilage of the tragus. Apparently he pressed too hard, because Anthony let out a scream and refused to allow Edward to come near his ear again.

"Anthony, I don't know what to do," Edward admitted helplessly. "What did your mom do when you had an earache?"

At first it looked as if Anthony was actually going to answer him. He put his head back, opened his mouth slightly, and then his face completely contorted into one full of agony and pain.

"I want my mommy!" he yelled through a downpour of tears. Over and over, he repeated his lament; fighting against Edward when he tried to comfort him.

After an innumerable amount of minutes Edward's anxiety level was reaching a near stratospheric level. The clock was ticking and Edward watched his much-needed sleep elude him as Anthony continued to writhe and complain about his ear.

And then he threw up.

"Fuck my life," Edward muttered as he walked to the bathroom for a towel large enough to sop up the mess that was now in the middle of his bed.

Edward tried desperately to remember what his mother had done for him when he'd had an earache as a child. He vaguely recalled cotton balls being shoved in his ear and spooned doses of grape flavored medicine, but he had no idea what anything was called.

The clock on the small nightstand said that the morning hour was quickly approaching two o'clock. And since this was Forks, and the only thing open was an always-open gas station on the outskirts of town. It would have to do.

After quickly rinsing Anthony down in the shower (something Edward would have to remember NEVER to do again; apparently Anthony would wither up and die if water got on his face), Edward dressed him in the first warm thing he found and put him in the car. After a small wrestling session with the seatbelt, Edward headed off to buy what he hoped to be a miracle cure.

"Eleven dollars?" Edward asked in horror when he saw the price tag for the children's pain reliever and fever reducer.

"Yeah. That stuff's highway robbery here," the uninterested girl at the counter remarked without even looking up from the comic book she was reading. "They prey on the desperate and sleep deprived.

"Well…that about sums me up," Edward sighed as he put the medicine on the counter. The cigarettes behind the counter taunted him, but he decided it was an old habit best left in the past.

With a sly smile, the girl, who's nametag identified her as 'Lisa', finally put down her literature and slid from the stool she'd been sitting on. She took one look at Anthony and her face morphed into an expression of empathy and concern.

"Aw, he looks miserable," she commented.

"Yeah. I think he has an ear infection or something," Edward said as he pulled Anthony closer to him.

"That sucks." Lisa shook her head and handed the medicine to Edward as she rung him up. "You might want to get that in him as soon as possible. He looks like he's burning up with fever."

Edward didn't hesitate to comply. He quickly removed the plastic seal and took out the small medicine bottle. He only fleetingly mused that it didn't look like eleven dollars worth of anything before he filled the little cup and handed it to Anthony to swallow.

"Uh…I think that's too much. A kid his size should only get about half of that," Lisa cautioned.

"Only drink half of that," Edward told Anthony, but then he realized he probably couldn't figure that out, so he took the cup when it was about half full.

"Hope that helps," Lisa called as Anthony and Edward made their way out of the store and back towards home.

Edward hoped it helped, too. Missing another day of work was not an option, especially when there were so many guys sitting at home waiting to be called in to replace him. And if he had to keep paying for overpriced items he wasn't expecting to need, he definitely couldn't afford to take any time off.

The medicine infiltrated Anthony's system quickly and by the time they'd gotten back home, he was so unconscious that he didn't even stir when Edward transported him from the car to the sofa. Too exhausted to deal with turning the soiled mattress on his bed over, Edward crashed in the recliner near the couch.

It wasn't until the rare tendrils of the morning sun pierced through the window that Edward woke up. Instantly he knew something was off and he jumped out of the chair and raced to the kitchen to look at the clock over the stove.

"Shit!" he yelled at the top of his voice. He was late for work and Anthony was going to be late for…Anthony!

Edward retuned to the living room at once to see how Anthony had faired during his slumber. He saw that his vocal outburst had pulled Anthony from his sleep; he was now sitting up rubbing his eyes. Edward noted that his coloring hovered close to normal, but wasn't quite there yet.

"We've got to get ready. We're going to be late," Edward said, quickly pulling at Anthony's clothes to get him into something new.

"I don't want to go to school. I don't feel good," Anthony whined.

"You have to go to school, buddy. I'm sorry, but I can't stay home with you today. I have to go to work." Edward shuddered at his own words, but he really had no other option. He didn't know anyone that could look after Anthony, and he couldn't miss work. "I'll give you some more medicine to help you feel better throughout the day."

Anthony didn't say anything either way, but he accepted the medicine when his father gave it to him.

An hour later, when Edward finally made it into work, almost two hours tardy, he was apologetic and submissive as he approached his boss, promising to make up the time. His supervisor rolled his eyes, warned Edward not to let it happen again and reminded him to call next time he was going to be late.

"You might want to stay late," Jasper suggested when he and Emmett joined Edward for lunch later.

"I planned on it," Edward said. "Was Pete bitchin' about me being late?" Edward asked of his supervisor.

"No. But you have to call. You can't just not show up. We don't know if we need to call someone in or what," Jasper admonished.

"Shit, I know. But I've hardly had any sleep at all and I was just rushing trying to get here. Stopping to make a phone call just seemed like it would have taken forever," Edward explained.

"Plus they might have told you not to come in at all and who wants that?" Emmett added.

"Exactly," Edward agreed, alluding to the true reason for his lack of forewarning.

"So your kid's sick?" Jasper asked.

"I guess. I don't know what's wrong with him. He woke up screaming, then he puked all over my bed. I might have gotten two hours of sleep," Edward shared. "I'm so fuckin' tired I don't know how I'm gonna last."

"Want me to call Alice? She can probably bring him some medicine if you tell me what his symptoms are," Jasper offered.

"Uh, he was really hot so I think he had a fever and his ear hurt really bad," Edward said.

"And you made him go to school?" Emmett asked.

Edward was really edgy about the choice he'd made of sending Anthony to school and he felt backed into a corner by Emmett's accusation. "What the hell else was I supposed to do?"

"Uh…use a sick day?" Emmett suggested.

"You've never called in before," Jasper said. "It happens. I'm sure everyone would understand."

"I've already missed two days this quarter just going to get Anthony. Another one puts me on warning and goes in my file. I can't let that happen," Edward shook his head.

His friends nodded in understanding, knowing exactly how he felt. After all, they were in the same boat, their jobs hanging on by a thread as well.

Two hours after his normal ending time, Edward shut down his machine and headed to the washroom to clean up before heading off to pick up his son. He made sure to pass his supervisor's office on his way out, and though he didn't say anything, he made sure that he was visible so that the appropriate people would know that he wasn't slacking off and that he took his job seriously.

The school was dark when Edward arrived and he checked the time on his phone to see if he'd mistaken the time again, but the digital display said that it was only two minutes after six in the evening. _Afterschool care closed at six-thirty, right?_

Edward was relieved to see that the afterschool room was still illuminated. He opened the door and found Anthony laying on a thick mat that looked like it was used for gymnastics.

"Anthony?" Edward called softly.

Anthony barely lifted his head and Edward noted that his son looked terrible. But before he could get to him, a woman, a young, much better looking woman than the usual aide, stepped into his path.

"Mr. Cullen?" she asked. "Good, you're finally here. The school has been calling you all day."

"Yeah. Am I late or something?" Edward asked, looking around at the room devoid of children except for his own.

"Actually, yes. The school only provides afterschool care until five-thirty. After that, there is a charge of five dollars for every minute you're late." The woman glanced toward the clock and noted the time. "You're thirty minutes late, so that would be 150 dollars."

It could have been the fact that he'd had almost no sleep, or that his son was sick and he had absolutely no idea what to do to make him feel better, or that he'd been late to work or that he'd paid eleven dollars for four ounces of over the counter medication, or perhaps it was the fact that some lazy-ass bureaucrat decided that parents should pay 300 dollars an hour for childcare; whatever the reason, Edward had had enough. And he lost it.

"Fuck that!" he yelled. "I'm not fucking paying all that money so you and your fuckin' lazy ass co-workers can give yourselves raises."

"Mr. Cullen, I don't- "

"I'm sick of this bullshit!" Edward hollered over her. "First I got my son's hag of a teacher sending me these fucked up letters about shit that doesn't even make sense. If you're gonna charge people all this money, you should hire some decent teachers. The kindergarten teacher is a delirious bitch that has lost all touch with reality. Just because she teaches my kid here, it doesn't give her the right to talk to me like I am one!"

"Mr. Cullen, I can assure you that – "

"No, I can assure you. I can fuckin' assure you that I'm not paying that motherfuckin' bill!" Edward saw the aide wince and it was enough to get him to stop yelling. But he was way too angry and keyed up to apologize. Instead, he simply grabbed Anthony backpack and jacket before picking up his son and heading out to his car.

It wasn't until he opened the back door to help Anthony into the backseat that he noticed him crying. And then he threw up. Again.


	4. Chapter 4 She Works Hard for the Money

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 4 – She Works Hard for the Money**

Bella had been working nonstop to get her classroom ready before Back to School Night. She wanted everything to be perfect for the parents. She's spent most of her lunch break in the office laminating envelopes so that parents would have something to take their students' work home in. Then, she decorated her classroom, best she could, without ruining the element of surprise for her students and their parents on the actual night of the event. This, in conjunction with her regular teaching responsibilities, was taking its toll on her.

So badly Bella had wanted to push the snooze button when her alarm went off that morning, so she completely empathized when Anthony strolled into her classroom late that morning, looking tired and unprepared for the day.

"Anthony, do you have a slip for me from the office?" Bella paused near his desk after helping Sierra with the reading exercise the class was doing.

Anthony held up the blue piece of paper, otherwise known as the tardy slip, before reconvening his position in his chair with his head on his desk.

"Anthony, honey, are you okay?" Bella leaned down and whispered to him quietly. When Anthony shook his head that he wasn't okay, Bella began to rub soothing circles against his back with one hand while her other hand tested his neck, forehead and cheeks for a fever.

Since he didn't have a fever, Bella deduced that he probably hadn't had a decent breakfast. But when she asked, Anthony told her that he didn't feel good and that he'd thrown up the previous night. Bella immediately sent him to the office, only to have him return moments later – sent back because he didn't register a fever.

At recess time, Bella was thankful to have a few minutes to herself so that she could grab some coffee to jolt some life into her. However, when she made it to her door, she found Anthony just outside of it, whimpering and miserable.

"Come on inside, sweetie," Bella held her hand out to him. He quickly took it and when they made it back to Bella's desk, and she sat down to further inspect him, he crawled into her lap with no provocation.

Bella picked up the phone on her desk and called the office.

"Vivian, can you call Anthony Cullen's dad? He's not feeling well and even though he doesn't have a fever, he doesn't look well. He should probably go home," Bella requested.

"Okay, but you know his dad doesn't have to come if there's no fever," Vivian reminded.

"Yeah, I know, but we should at least let him know. I know I'd want to know if my child was sick."

Vivian laughed. "Bella, I'm sure Daddy Dearest knows Anthony is sick. When you sent him in here it was more than obvious. It's also obvious that he's got so much medicine running through his system that he'd probably bleed bubblegum flavor. But I'll call and let you know what his dad says."

"Thanks," Bella nodded against the phone. As soon has she hung up, she went back to coddling Anthony. He clung to her, pressing his face against her chest and closing his eyes, as if he were truly resting for the first time in months.

Recess was long over before Vivian called to let Bella know that she hadn't been able to get a hold of Anthony's father. Bella struggled to pay attention to her other students, but her eyes kept roving back to Anthony as he sat, despondent and unengaged.

The day progressed in much the same manner – Bella keeping Anthony inside of the classroom at recess and at lunchtime to soothe and comfort him in an attempt to make him feel a little bit better. By the time the day had ended, Bella looked down at the to-do list she'd made for herself and realized that she had accomplished nearly nothing outside of what was written in her lesson plan. She would have to put in a long evening to stay on task.

So when the afterschool care aide poked her head inside the door of Bella's classroom at 5:40 p.m., Bella was still there, hard at work.

"Bella, help!" Regina mimicked a damsel in distress. "I have tried and tried calling Anthony's father and he's not answering and tonight of all nights I can not stay here. My daughter has a ballet recital."

Bella looked up to see Anthony standing at Regina's side, aware that his presence was cause for burden.

"Not a problem. I'm tired of doing this anyway," Bella put down the paper she was cutting, her smiling eyes focused on Anthony. "What do you say, Anthony? Do you want to go play a game with me in the care center?"

Anthony nodded weakly and Bella frowned at the tinged tone of his skin.

"Is he warm?" Bella asked.

Regina passed a hand over his forehead and nodded. "Yep. And you know we can't give him anything without a doctor's note."

Bella's heart broke for Anthony as she looked into his eyes. The sorrow and misery there was astounding.

"Let's get you some rest," she said as she scooped him up and carried him back to the afterschool care room.

She sat him down briefly at one of the small tables while she made a pallet for him using the nap mats and a few blankets from the play housekeeping area. She balled one up into a makeshift pillow before calling for Anthony to come over and lay down. He immediately did so and closed his eyes against his illness.

While Anthony rested, Bella continued to try his father, but it was hopeless. The home telephone number rang endlessly without even an answering machine to pick up. And since there was no next of kin listed on Anthony's emergency contact card, Bella contemplated whether or not she should call Social Services.

In all of her training, Bella had learned about obvious signs of neglect and abuse, but Anthony's case wasn't nearly as black and white. According to his file, his mother had recently died. Based upon that, his father was also, most likely, suffering some type of mourning or pain. Surely she couldn't' expect Mr. Cullen to be at peak performance after such a trial.

The fact that Anthony was only in kindergarten also hindered Bella's fact-finding. If she had previous records or behavior patterns to go on, she'd know if this was an isolated incident or if Mr. Cullen was truly a deadbeat dad. Because so far, without anything else to go on, she was leaning towards the latter.

Anthony coughed and stirred a bit, momentarily pulling Bella's attention from her silent thoughts on his family situation. She was just about to go to him and see if he'd be more comfortable on her lap when the door opened and a very hurried looking man rushed in.

At first Bella thought he was a new member of the custodial staff, because he wore a similar uniform: navy button down shirt and dark cotton pants. But when his eyes immediately searched for Anthony and found him, Bella knew this must be Anthony's father. And then he called out his name, thus confirming it.

Bella was anxious to finally meet this man and to get a feel for his situation before she told him about the lackluster job he was doing in meeting his son's needs.

"Mr. Cullen?" she asked as she stepped into his path. "Good, you're finally here. The school has been calling you all day." She was about to tell him that Anthony was not feeling well and that he had a fever, but Mr. Cullen cut her off.

"Yeah. Am I late or something?"

If his tone hadn't been so dismissive, Bella might have noticed the rich, smooth tone of his voice…or the fact that his boyish and rugged good looks made him a contender for a GQ cover model.

However, this was the man who hadn't left an appropriate contact number, had (most likely) purposely sent his sick son to school and was now half an hour late picking him up. Good looks be damned!

"Actually, yes. The school only provides afterschool care until five-thirty. After that, there is a charge of five dollars for every minute you're late." Bella's voice slightly shook as she communicated the information. Mr. Cullen looked like he was on the brink of losing it. But still, she'd spent her own time, for no additional compensation, looking after his son when she could have been getting her classroom ready for Back to School Night.

"You're thirty minutes late, so that would be 150 dollars," Bella added. Immediately after the words left her mouth, Bella regretted speaking them.

Immediately Bella's eyes dashed to the door to make sure she had a bona fide exit, because as soon as the vein in Mr. Cullen's forehead began to throb, and his jaw began to clench and unclench, Bella knew he was going to go off.

And just as she'd expected, he did. What she didn't expect, however, is that he would insult her as a teacher.

It became apparent mid-way through Mr. Cullen's tirade that he had no idea that he was actually speaking _to_ the kindergarten teacher. Otherwise, he most likely wouldn't have interjected:

"First I got my son's hag of a teacher sending me these fucked up letters about shit that doesn't even make sense. If you're gonna charge people all this money, you should hire some decent teachers. The kindergarten teacher is a delirious bitch that has lost all touch with reality."

_A hag? Delirious bitch?_

Bella was just about to stop him and let him know that the "hag" he was speaking of was standing right in front of him. And furthermore, if he wanted to call her a bitch, she was going to make sure it was warranted.

But just when she opened her mouth to give him a piece of her mind, he spat out:

"Just because she teaches my kid here, it doesn't give her the right to talk to me like I am one!"

Bella's verbal rebuttal was instantly halted as her mind raced to remember what she'd written in her letter that he would construe as condescending. She thought over what she remembered writing:

_Dr. Mr. Cullen,_

_Anthony has brought it to my attention on several occasions that for_

_whatever reason, he has not eaten breakfast before arriving at school. Perhaps_

_this is due to the fact that you are under the impression that school starts earlier _

_than it actually does. Rest assured that Anthony does not have to be at school_

_until 9AM. You may drop him off beginning at 8:15AM, but the school has a policy_

_against him arriving any earlier, as we do not have sufficient supervision for him_

_at this time. _

_I hope this information will resolve the issue of Anthony being at school _

_unattended so early in the morning, as well as allow you both the time to enjoy a_

_satisfying and healthy breakfast together. _

_I understand that some children are not interested in consuming a _

_lot of food early in the morning. For this reason, I encourage you to pack your_

_son a healthy snack to tide him over until lunch time. _

_Also, if you would prefer not to pack a lunch from home, the cost of a_

_school lunch is $2.50._

_Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any questions or concerns_

_regarding this matter._

_Sincerely,_

_Miss Swan_

Was it pompous of her to suggest they eat a meal together in the morning? Or perhaps she was out of line by inserting the cost of a school lunch?

In all of her deliberation of what she could have said to offend him so, Bella missed her opportunity to say anything to him at all. In a mere heartbeat, he'd swept Anthony up and headed out the door.

In a state of flabbergasted frustration, Bella sat down in one of the child-sized chairs and cried.

It took only a few minutes for Bella to pull herself together, but as she drove across the small town to meet Rosalie, she couldn't stop thinking about what Mr. Cullen had said to her. And the more she thought about it, the angrier she got.

How dare he insinuate that she was profiting at the expense of the less fortunate. She worked every bit as hard as everyone else, and if she honestly compared her wages to the hours she worked, she'd probably be the lowest paid employee on the planet!

"Fuck him," she muttered to herself as she pulled into a parking space and checked her reflection in the rear view mirror.

She tried to get her mental and visual composure in check before she went into the restaurant to face her friend, but it was inevitable that Rosalie would figure out something was wrong.

"Well it's about mother-freakin' time," Rosalie protested when she saw Bella headed her way. "I thought you were going to stand me up."

Bella shrugged. "I almost did. I did a favor for the afterschool daycare aide because one of the parents was late picking up and she had somewhere to be. I was so tired after such a long day, but when I realized I had nothing in my refrigerator and I didn't feel like shopping, I figured I'd meet you after all."

"Gee, thanks. It's nice to know I'm such a high priority in your…" Rosalie stopped mid-sentence and leaned forward to get a better look at Bella. "You've been crying. Why were you crying?"

"It's nothing," Bella insisted, shaking her head to emphasize her point. "I've just been putting in a ton of hours trying to get ready for Back to School Night and I'm tired; so everything kind of seems like a bigger deal than it really is."

"But did something happen?" Rosalie asked in suspicion.

"Just a disgruntled parent. Nothing out of the ordinary when you work at a school. I've dealt with it in the past and I'm sure I'll deal with it in the future. I'm just…stretched kind of thin right now," Bella explained. She didn't want to let on at how much Mr. Cullen's outburst had had an affect on her. For one, she was embarrassed that it had, and two, she was afraid she'd start crying again if she got into it.

"Bella, you work entirely too hard, and coming from me, that's saying a lot," Rosalie smiled.

Bella simply nodded in agreement. Rosalie worked all the time, but even she knew when to say when and take time out for herself.

"It's just because it's my first year. I'm sure things will calm down as soon as I get my rhythm," Bella explained.

However, Rosalie was having none of it. "No, that's not it. You just don't know how to have fun," she insisted instead. "When's the last time you just hung out with friends?"

"I thought that's what we were doing right now," Bella frowned.

"Friends, Bella, as in more than one. And preferably with members of the opposite sex…speaking of sex…"

"Rosalie, please!" Bella held up her hand and looked around to see if anyone had heard.

"Seriously, Bella. Aren't you even interested in meeting anyone?"

Bella thought about it for a minute. "I'm not…opposed to the idea of meeting someone, I just don't have the energy to put forth the effort right now. And it's so true what they say: you never, ever, find anyone when you're looking. So, I don't really want to look. Does that make any sense?"

"Yes. But not looking is entirely different from denying all opportunity," Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Listen, I promised Emmett I'd go to this barbeque slash party thing his friends are hosting. Come with me."

Bella looked skeptical. "I don't know…it sounds like it might be…rowdy. I said goodbye to those kinds of parties when I graduated college."

"It's not like that. Emmett said it's just a welcome home party for his friend's kid or something. But it's probably just an excuse to get together and blow off steam from a long week. Come on, come with me. I don't really know Emmett's friends, so it'll be nice to have someone to talk to."

A sigh escaped Bella as she considered the invitation. The thought of getting out and mingling with other adults did sound nice…

"When is it?" Bella asked.

"Next Saturday," Rosalie said hopefully.

Bella shifted her head from side to side as she mentally weighed the pros and cons of attending a party she hadn't been invited to by the host. _But if there were going to be a lot of people, no one would really notice her…and Back to School Night would be out of the way so she wouldn't have to worry about that…_

"Okay. I'll go," Bella agreed. She hated that she was reluctant in her acceptance of the invitation, but something just felt unsettling about it. Still, she chalked it up to nervousness about stepping out of her comfort zone and tried to enjoy the rest of her dinner – setting aside all thoughts of disgruntled parents and upcoming parties.


	5. Chapter 5 Highway to Hell

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 5 – Highway to Hell**

Edward was expecting another _lovely_ note home from Miss Swan after his blatant disregard of the school's Back to School Night, but thankfully one did not materialize. Instead, Anthony's backpack was full of papers and art projects that had probably been on display that night. As Edward collected Anthony from the afterschool program, he noticed that the good-looking aide he'd gone off on had been replaced by the previous frumpy one. Too bad; Edward had been contemplating an apology for his verbal tirade.

Anthony schlepped along silently beside Edward as they walked to his car. Out of the corner of his eye, Edward noticed that Anthony had pulled that tattered puppet like doll out of his backpack and was rubbing it fiercely between his fingers.

"I thought we talked about the doll. Where's the truck I bought you?" Edward asked.

"It's not a doll," Anthony insisted. "Grandma made it for me."

_Okay…well. That's that on the subject of the doll…er, puppet._

"I'm hungry," Anthony said once he'd seat belted himself into the backseat of Edward's car.

Edward glanced at the clock on the dashboard and noted the time. It was definitely time for dinner, but there was no food in the house. Payday had just occurred the day before, but between rent, his car insurance and a phone bill that was two months in arrears, Edward knew take-out was a luxury he couldn't afford. Twenty dollars would go a lot further at the grocery store than it would at the pizza joint on the corner.

As Edward drove, his mind wandered to the upcoming party for Anthony that Alice had insisted upon hosting. He knew it was odd that he hadn't brought his own kid around his friends, but if he was being honest, it was because he was stalling. He and Anthony were still trying to get used to one another, and it was awkward enough without an audience.

There were several "issues" that Edward noticed between he and Anthony that he would like to have rectified before showcasing them in front of his friends. The most pressing being that Anthony and Edward still stumbled over how to address one another. Edward called Anthony by his name when he was speaking to him directly, but he never called him son. And Anthony never called Edward _anything._ He'd simply just begin talking. It was something people were sure to notice as odd.

Anthony and Edward also didn't feel comfortable touching one another. If Edward needed to lift Anthony up or carry him to the car, Anthony was always stiff, trying to keep as few contact points between his body and Edward's as possible. And Edward never held the little boy's hand – not even when crossing the street. He always over-thought the issue whenever a situation presented itself that would require him to take Anthony by the hand or guide him by touch. By the time Edward would talk himself into just doing it, the opportunity would have passed. It happened every time.

The only grocery store in Forks was quite busy on that Friday evening. Quickly Edward grabbed a cart and Anthony fell into step beside him. As Edward wheeled a cart down the aisles, mentally calculating the total as he placed various items in the cart, he noticed a woman eyeing him as he shopped. By the time he'd made it to the cereal isle, he managed to catch her eye. However, as soon as she caught sight of Anthony, she tossed a box of corn flakes in her cart and sped off, leaving Edward to doubt the authenticity of the person who said women were more attracted to unavailable men.

It had been a while since Edward had been with a woman. In the past, a little dry spell had never worried Edward; after all, they never lasted long. What did worry Edward, however, was the ever-present hurdle his new life as a father created. Bringing a woman back to his place was no longer an option, nor was taking off to her place. Just thinking about how hard dating was now going to be brought Edward close to a panic attack.

"Do you like hot dogs?" Edward asked Anthony, trying to free his mind from his previous line of thought.

Anthony nodded. "And macaroni and cheese," he added.

As Edward looked over the preparation directions to see if he was able to even prepare macaroni and cheese, it occurred to him that he didn't even know if there was anything Anthony _couldn't _have.

"Are you allergic to anything?" Edward asked. _Did Anthony even know what that word meant?_

"Cats," Anthony answered. "They make me sneeze."

Edward smirked. A feeling of pride washed over him as he realized how intelligent his son was…and then the feeling quickly abated when he realized he hadn't had anything to do with it.

"What about food? Are you allergic to any foods?"

Anthony thought for a moment. "Broccoli, I think."

They stared at one another for a long moment as Edward tried to figure out if Anthony just didn't want to be made to eat the vegetable, or if he really did have an adverse reaction to it.

Finally, Edward shrugged, realizing that either way, he'd most likely never make Anthony eat it anyway.

At the checkout stand, Edward's eyes volleyed between the growing total on the digital display and the food items as they traveled down the conveyor belt. His fingers clutched the two bills in his hand that totaled twenty-five dollars and he hoped that he had enough to cover the small amount of groceries he'd accumulated.

"Can I have this?" Anthony held up a pack of M&M's for Edward to see.

Just as Edward turned to look the sales clerk announced his total of twenty-four dollars and eighty-six cents. Edward sighed as he fished in his pockets for loose change. Save for a piece of lint, his hands came up empty.

"How much is the candy?" Edward asked. He hated always telling his son no.

"Seventy-five cents," the man behind the counter answered.

Edward inventoried the items before him: milk, cereal, hot dogs, two boxes of macaroni and cheese, toilet paper, bread, two apples, peanut butter and grape jelly. He needed all of it. The macaroni and cheese would make dinner for both of them for two nights. A package of candy wouldn't even last the car ride home.

"Look, Anthony…"

"I know, I know," Anthony said sullenly as he put the candy back.

Edward sighed and looked up at the clerk. "Can you take off one of the boxes of macaroni?"

"Uh…hold on a second…" the clerk reached below his register drawer and came up with a coupon for one dollar off the toilet paper Edward was buying. He then added the candy to the total and gave Edward his new total of twenty-four dollars and sixty-two cents.

Shame colored Edward's path as he accepted the two plastic bags filled with his groceries and walked out of the store. Silently, Edward wondered if the clerk would retreat to the employee break room and recall the story of a father who couldn't even scrounge up seventy-five cents for candy for his kid.

With a downcast spirit, still wounded from the need of the discount coupon, Edward rummaged through one of the bags and pulled out the packet of candy-coated chocolate for his son.

Edward took in the eager way Anthony grasped for the treat. "Thank you," he said quietly.

It was the first time Edward had ever seen Anthony smile – and that nearly made his humiliation worth it.

The sounds Anthony made as he got ready for bed wafted through the small apartment, and Edward realized his time was running out to tell him about the party the next day that was being held in his honor.

"Uh, Anthony…tomorrow we're going to a party," Edward began.

"What kind of party?" Anthony articulated as he pulled out his pillow from the hallway closet and placed it on the couch.

"It's actually a party for you. All of my friends want to meet you and we thought the best way to do that would be at a party," Edward stated.

"Will there be games there?" Anthony wanted to know.

Edward relaxed when Anthony seemed warm to the idea. Suddenly he didn't know why he had been nervous in the first place. He vaguely remembered Emmett's words, telling him that all kids liked parties.

"Uh…I don't know," Edward said, because he really had no idea what to expect. "What kind of games do you like?"

Anthony shrugged. "I like checkers and puzzles and tic-tac-toe."

"What about sports? Do you like soccer or baseball?"

Anthony shook his head. "I never played that."

No sports. _Right. Jessica hated sports._

"Well…maybe I'll teach you how to play some day," Edward offered.

"When?"

"How about Sunday?"

"But I don't have a soccer ball."

"Oh…right." Edward didn't have a soccer ball either, nor did he have the funds to run out and purchase one. "Well, maybe next week we'll go to the store and get one."

Anthony looked at Edward like he didn't trust that Edward would do what he said, but he didn't say anything. Instead, he pulled back the thin blanket and climbed underneath it.

Edward stood awkwardly before Anthony, watching the nightly ritual. He wondered what Anthony's ritual with his mother consisted of each night. Being tucked in? A kiss? A bedtime prayer? _Please Lord, don't let tomorrow be hell._

Anthony closed his eyes and Edward walked down the hall to his own room, shutting off the lights as he went. Right before he closed his door, he heard the patter of little feet on the floor and he looked up in time to see Anthony flip on the hall light before scurrying back to the couch. _Right. Afraid of the dark._

The next day, on the car ride over to Alice and Jasper's, Anthony questioned Edward about who his friends were.

"What are their names?" he asked.

"Alice and Jasper – the party is at their house. And my friend Emmett will be there and he'll probably have his…friend, Rosalie there," Edward explained.

"Is anyone from my class going to be there?"

_Shit. Why didn't I think of that?_

"Uh, I don't think so. It's just a few of my friends. They want to get to know you and they can't do that if there are too many people there." Edward explained.

But when he pulled up in front of the small cottage-style home Jasper shared with Alice, Edward immediately realized his friends had made a liar out of him.

"Who are all these people?" Edward asked with wide eyes when Jasper met him at the front door.

"Alice may have invited a few co-workers…who invited a few friends. Hey, they all brought beer, so it's all good," Jasper shrugged. Then he looked down and saw Anthony standing at Edward's side. "Whoa," he said, looking between Edward and the young boy. "Dude, he looks _exactly_ like you!"

Emmett saw the exchange and the front door and rushed over to get an eyeful of what was going on. Aware that his massive size might be considered intimidating to the child, Emmett kneeled down to eye level and smiled at Anthony. "It's like looking at little Edward," he grinned.

"Jasper, Emmett, this is Anthony," Edward introduced. "Anthony, these are my friends, Jasper and Emmett."

From inside the house, it sounded like someone was walking toward the front door pinching an air-filled balloon, slowly letting the air out. The sound progressed as it came closer to the door, until suddenly, Alice was standing before them, squeeing at the sight of Edward's little boy.

"Edward, he's adorable!" Alice exclaimed as she picked Anthony up and carried him into the house – thus ending the porch-side conference.

Edward looked on as Alice coddled and hugged a nervous-looking Anthony. But when she showed him a pile of presents that were in the corner of the living room and said they were all for him, Anthony clambered down excitedly and began picking through his bounty. With a content sigh, Edward left Anthony with Alice and headed of in search of a beer. It had been awhile since he'd been able to toss back a few and shoot the breeze with his boys.

Time passed, unnoticed by Edward, until Alice came onto the back porch and offered his table a plate of grilled hamburgers and hotdogs.

"Thanks for leaving me to do all of the cooking, guys," she pouted. Jasper winked and gave her bottom a soft pinch as he accepted a hot dog.

"I'll take clean-up duty," he compromised.

"Sweet," Alice smiled.

Edward stood up to search for Anthony. If Alice was outside, then that meant no one was watching the kid.

As he meandered through the maze of people, Edward strained to listen for child-like sounds. But all that he heard was the faded sound of distant music, laughter, feminine and masculine voices swirling together and the echo of plastic cutlery and glass bottles touching down.

Sensing that Anthony wouldn't stray far from the loot he'd recently acquired, Edward headed into the living room, to the gift-filled corner. Though Anthony wasn't there, he wasn't far away.

He stood near a chair where a dark-haired woman sat before him with her arm wrapped loosely around him. Another woman, whom Edward immediately recognized as Emmett's girlfriend, Rosalie, stood slightly behind them watching the exchange, her expression a mixture of boredom and amusement.

Edward's eyebrows rose in surprise as a bubbling chuckle escaped Anthony's lips. It was a happy sound, a childish sound…a sound Edward had never previously heard.

The dark-haired woman seemed quite familiar with Anthony, but from where he stood, Edward couldn't fathom why. Stealthily, he walked closer, wanting to sort out who this woman was that was interacting with his son, but not yet wanting to put an end to they enjoyable time Anthony was obviously having.

As soon as he was close enough to hear their exchange, the woman looked up and Edward could see her face. It was the same woman from the afterschool program – the beautiful one.

Edward's stomach lurched as he remembered that he owned this woman an apology for how poorly he'd behaved the last time he'd seen her.

He decided an apology would be better left to a more appropriate time, when there weren't witnesses, in case she decided to let him know just how inappropriately he'd behaved. With one foot behind the other, Edward began to slowly back away, leaving the trio to this moment without him.

Though it was his intention to exit undetected, Edward's foot came into contact with a small table and noisily shoved it against a wall, knocking its contents to the ground.

Rosalie and the dark-haired woman's eyes shifted to the intrusion before landing on Edward.

"Hey, Edward," Rosalie smiled as she walked over to help him pick up the debris. "How's fatherhood treating you?"

"Oh, you know…" Edward trailed off when he noticed the dark-haired woman listening for his answer.

"Well your son is a cutie," Rosalie offered. "But Emmett didn't quite explain to me how old Anthony was, so the gift I brought him isn't really sufficient," Rosalie said as she held up a small rubber bat and ball.

"Oh, that's fine," Edward said, though he was sure those were dog toys, and not children's play items.

Anthony laughed again and Edward looked up to see him pulling the dark-haired woman towards him and Rosalie. Edward shot her a weary smile, hoping she could understand his silent request for a pardon.

"Yeah, he didn't seem to mind that we were empty handed," Rosalie was still talking. "He's pretty stoked to have his teacher here."

"His _teacher_?" Edward choked on the words.

He looked over to find the dark-haired woman now standing in front of him, her hand extended to him in greeting.

"Hello, Mr. Cullen. I don't believe we've been formally introduced. I'm Anthony's teacher, Bella Swan."

A strangled cry escaped Edward's throat as the crushing insults he'd unknowingly hurled at this woman came crashing into his memory.

"Y-you're M-Miss Swan?" he stammered as he shook her hand briefly.

A conspiratorial smirk slid across her face before disappearing as she spoke. "Miss Swan, Bella…delusional hag…I answer to many titles."

_Well shit…welcome to hell. _


	6. Chapter 6 Little Fighter

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 6 – Little Fighter**

Bella collapsed into the chair behind her desk and tried to pinch feeling back into her cheeks. She felt like her face had been frozen into a smile for years, instead of a measly two hours. But she couldn't complain. Back to School Night had been a success. The parents had been friendly, inquisitive and very complimentary of the progress they could already see in their children. It was exciting to know that her students' parents were as excited to meet her as she was to meet them. They'd all come for the event…

Bella's eyes landed upon the untouched packet of Anthony Cullen. _Almost_ all of the parents had come out to meet her.

A wave of anger flooded Bella's body as she thought back to the unkind things Mr. Cullen had said about her. Even if he didn't know he was actually speaking to her at the time, his words were unfounded and false. She had been nothing but lenient and patient with him, and he had the nerve to call her a…what was it? Delusional? Bitch? Well he could go to hell.

The worst thing about Back to School Night was that it was always on a Thursday evening. That meant that after teaching all day, and then hanging around school until nearly nine o'clock at night, Bella then had to drag herself home before being up at the crack of dawn in order to be ready to teach the next morning. And to make matters worse, Bella had promised Rosalie that she'd accompany her to her friend's barbeque on Saturday. She couldn't even look forward to a lazy weekend!

By Friday night, Bella was trying to think of a reasonable excuse to use to cancel on Rosalie. Although she knew Rosalie would tell her that that she was going to die a lonely, old, spinster, Bella was willing to put up with the ranting in exchange for having her Saturday all to herself. She wanted to get a head start on cooking her meals for the week, finishing her laundry and balancing her checkbook.

As she ticked off the mental checklist in her mind, she realized how pathetic she sounded and stopped trying to evade social interaction. She'd go to the party, but she was definitely driving her own car. If it was as boring and unbearable as she presumed it was going to be, at least she wouldn't be stuck there.

On Saturday morning, Rosalie called Bella from a department store inquiring about a gift for a small child.

"A gift? You didn't say I had to buy a gift. I didn't get anything!" Bella panicked.

"Relax. I'll just put your name on whatever I get…just as soon as you tell me what to buy. I don't know anything about kids," Rosalie admitted.

"Well…is it a boy or a girl?" Bella asked.

"A boy…I think…Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's a boy," Rosalie answered.

"How old?"

"Oh just a baby. Maybe two…or three…might be four."

"Okay, well clothes are definitely out, since you clearly don't know what size to buy. How about a toy?"

"What kind of toy?"

"Well you said it's a boy. Get something sports related. Like a baseball and bat." Bella then remembered that Rosalie said she knew nothing about kids. "Make sure it's soft, Rosalie. Something plastic."

Nearly two hours later Rosalie showed up to Bella's apartment with what looked like a chew toy, but Bella didn't have the heart to tell her so. Instead she informed Rosalie that since the family didn't even know her, she shouldn't put Bella's name on the gift.

"Whatever," Rosalie simply shrugged and held onto the gift bag. "Ready to go?"

"Yes, but I'm actually going to follow you in my own car," Bella said as she grabbed her keys and picked up her purse. "I don't like to be stranded in unknown places.

"Bella, if you duck out on me, I _will_ kill you," Rosalie threatened her.

The way Rosalie was acting about not wanting to attend this party without Bella was a little suspicious. Bella narrowed her eyes at her naturally blonde friend. "You're not trying to set me up with anyone at this party, are you?"

"Oh heavens no," Rosalie shook her head. "Give me some credit. If I wanted to hook you up with someone, I certainly wouldn't take you to one of Emmett's friend's low-class shindigs."

"Low class?" Bella asked nervously.

"Oh just come on!" Rosalie thrust Bella towards her car before going to climb into her own.

The party was in full swing when Rosalie and Bella arrived, and Bella stood on the street for a little while enjoying the quaint homes and neighborly atmosphere.

"Now, if you'd shown me something like this, I might have bought," Bella spoke of the enchanting house in front of her.

Rosalie shook her head. "You would not want to buy a house in this neighborhood, Bella."

"Why not?"

"Well, for one thing, people don't buy homes to live in on this street; they buy them to rent them out. Meaning your neighbors change constantly, they're usually not vested in the upkeep of the home … do you smell your investment declining, here? Because I sure do."

Bella shrugged. "I don't care. I _love_ it. It's exactly what I envision in my head when I picture my first house."

"Well…in that case, if anything ever comes up on the market, you'll be the first person I call."

Bella followed Rosalie to the front door and stood silently by waiting for someone to welcome them inside. When that didn't happen, Rosalie simply opened the door and walked in, pulling Bella along behind her.

Just as she'd done outside, Bella looked over the inside of the home with appreciation. It was tastefully decorated, not overdone but also understated enough so that Bella could easily imagine what her own furniture would look like inside.

"Ooh, arched entryways. Love it," Bella whispered to herself.

"I hear Emmett," Rosalie said as she turned towards the glass sliding glass doors that led out to the patio. "I'll introduce you."

A fake smile immediately lit up Bella's face in an attempt to hide the thoughts going through her mind. _I hope he's not drinking._

But before the two women could make it across the living room, a tiny person broke their stride.

"Miss Swan! Hi, Miss Swan!"

Bella looked down to see the beaming face of none other than Anthony Cullen.

"Why, Anthony! What a great surprise!" Bella said as she gave him a genuine smile. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"It's my party. Wanna come see my presents?" Anthony asked. He didn't even give Bella a chance to answer before he was leading her over to a pile of packages of various shapes and sizes.

Bella glanced over her shoulder. "This is _his_ party?" she asked Rosalie. "I thought you said it was for a small child."

"He's small and he's a child," Rosalie shrugged. "At least I got the gender right."

Anthony was digging through the presents, showing Bella multiple items. She ooh'ed and ahh'ed with him and let him tell her how things worked.

"Okay…so I'm thinking we should probably take this back to the store and get you something else," Rosalie waved the bag she was carrying. "It's kind of for…someone a bit younger."

"And I didn't get you anything, Anthony, because you didn't tell me what I should buy you. What would you like?" Bella asked quickly, interjecting before Rosalie removed the hideous animal toy from the bag.

"A soccer ball," Anthony answered immediately without having to think about it.

"Well okay. On Monday morning you will be the proud owner of a shiny new soccer ball," Bella said as she poked Anthony in the belly. He giggled in delight.

While Anthony was preoccupied with yet another item, Bella motioned for Rosalie to lean down so she could tell her something.

"I have to get out of here," Bella whispered.

"Why? What's going on?" Rosalie asked in her normal voice. _Did she not understand whisper etiquette? If someone whispers, you whisper back!_

Bella pointed to Anthony. "This is one of my students."

"Really?" Rosalie raised her eyebrows. "Is that a big deal?"

"It is when that student's parent-"

"Look, look what I got, Miss Swan!" Anthony interrupted and thrust an Etch-A-Sketch into Bella's hands.

"Wow, Anthony, that's great. I had one of these when I was in kindergarten, too," Bella said.

"Cool," Anthony said without taking his eyes off the grid he began to make on the screen. "Want to play Tic-Tac-Toe? I'm really good at that game."

"Okay, but only if I get to be O's," Bella promised.

"I like to be X's anyway," Anthony said right before drawing a huge X in the middle of the grid.

Anthony stood so close to Bella that he was almost in her lap. She wrapped one arm around him, and held the game with both hands, encircling Anthony in the middle. They'd take turns drawing X's and O's while Bella held the game and Anthony turned the dial. He laughed happily each time he won.

"Whoever goes first always wins," Rosalie rolled her eyes, growing bored after Anthony had won the third game in a row. "I need to go find Emmett and let him know I'm –"

A loud crash against the wall distracted Rosalie mid-sentence and she and Bella looked up to see a man trying desperately not to knock over an apothecary jar that sat on a small table.

Bella recognized him immediately.

And apparently, so did Rosalie.

"Hey, Edward," Rosalie said as she walked over to him. They exchanged a bit of banter as Rosalie helped him right the mess he'd made by kicking the table, but Bella couldn't make out what they were saying. He glanced her direction a few times and Bella could tell that he remembered who she was.

Bella hoped that if she just stayed where she was, quietly playing with Anthony, she'd be able to escape without actually talking to him. Because just looking at him reminded her of the venomous words he'd thrown at her and the way he'd tossed aside Back to School Night as if the school was a means to free daycare instead of an education for Anthony.

"Remember, you're still the teacher even when you're not in the classroom," Bella mumbled to herself- a reminder that she couldn't let Mr. Cullen have a piece of her mind, even if she wasn't at work.

"I won again!" Anthony announced triumphantly.

His celebration caught the attention of Rosalie and Mr. Cullen and she began leading him toward Bella.

_So much for no interaction._ Bella sighed and stood up when she heard Rosalie telling Mr. Cullen how pleased Anthony was to have his teacher present.

"His _teacher?"_

Bella noticed the pallor of Mr. Cullen's skin at the realization of what Rosalie's words truly meant.

_Yeah. That's right, asshole._

Bella managed her best professional smile and held out her hand towards Mr. Cullen.

"Hello, Mr. Cullen. I don't believe we've been formally introduced. I'm Anthony's teacher, Bella Swan."

If the wound from his words weren't still so raw, Bella might have felt sorry for how embarrassed Mr. Cullen appeared to feel.

"Y-you're M-Miss Swan?" he stuttered as his fingers raked through the hair at the back of his head.

_Oh, now you can get my name right? What was it the other day you were calling me?_

"Miss Swan, Bella…delusional hag…I answer to many titles," Bella gave him a long penetrating stare.

Rosalie started laughing, not understanding what was transpiring between the two adults in her company.

"Hey, Baby," Emmett came up just then and put his arm around Rosalie. "I was wondering when you were going to get here. The food's almost out, so if you want to eat, you'd better get something now."

"I'm hungry," Anthony said, wedging his way between Bella and his father.

Bella looked up at Mr. Cullen sharply, as if to say, 'of course he is'.

"Come on, Anthony. I'll get you a hot dog," Mr. Cullen said, anxious to depart. He led the way to the patio, and Anthony walked behind him and out the twin glass doors.

"I gotta get out of here," Bella turned to Rosalie quickly.

But Emmett already had his tongue down her throat, so she wasn't really listening to a word Bella had to say.

Bella couldn't bring herself to leave without saying goodbye to Anthony first, so she stepped out back and scanned the crowd for him. She spotted him near the barbeque grill, holding out his hotdog to his father for the proper condiments.

After quickly gazing around to make sure no one was watching her, Bella allowed her gaze to linger on the way Mr. Cullen interacted with his son. She noticed that his mannerisms seemed mechanical – almost robotic, instead of fluid and certain.

She watched as he squirted way too much ketchup on the hotdog and then threw it away in exchange for another, instead of wiping the excess on the bun and simply getting a new bun. She watched as he handed Anthony a whole can of caffeinated soda and sent him off to sit in the sun – a stomachache waiting to happen. She watched as Mr. Cullen stood uncomfortably, towering over his son as Anthony sat and ate in quiet. He looked everywhere but at the boy, and when one of his friends walked up, he turned his back on Anthony completely and held an animated conversation with the man in front of him.

"Loser," Bella muttered a little louder than she intended. This time when she looked around to make sure no one was looking at her, she noticed a couple sitting at a picnic table to her right, eyeing her dubiously. The man had a head full of hair that couldn't decide if it wanted to be brown or blonde, and the very petite woman at his side had short, choppy black hair that complimented her overly expressive eyes and mouth.

"Are you a friend of Edward's?" the woman asked.

"Edward?" Bella questioned.

"Edward Cullen…this party is for his son," the small woman's eyes quickly darted over to where Edward and Anthony were before shifting to Bella again.

"Oh…Mr. Cullen," Bella smiled. "I don't really know him, but Anthony is one of my students."

"You teach kindergarten at Forks?" the small woman leaned forward to hear Bella's answer.

"I do," Bella nodded.

"So you're the _letter writer,_" the man grinned.

_The letter writer? Oh you have got to be kidding me._

"All teachers write letters. It's called the alphabet," Bella smirked.

"No, I meant-" the man tried to explain himself but quit when the small woman elbowed him in the ribs.

"She knows what you meant," the woman spoke without taking her eyes off Bella. "Don't mind him. I'm Alice, and this is Jasper. Edward is a good friend of ours."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Bella. Bella Swan." Bella was sure her words didn't sound sincere at all.

The conversation turned stagnant then, and Bella turned her attention back to Anthony. Since Mr. Cullen was paying him no attention at all, Bella watched him until he safely finished his hotdog. And when he grimaced at the taste of the fizzy soft drink, Bella sought out a cold bottle of water and walked it over to him. As she passed by Mr. Cullen, she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and saw that he was watching her as well.

_Don't worry. I have nothing more to say to you…Letter writer…I'll show you a letter writer…_

"Anthony, sweetheart, do you want a drink of water?" Bella asked as she held the bottle out to him.

Anthony nodded emphatically and accepted the water thankfully. When he struggled with the cap, Bella removed it for him before kneeling down beside his chair.

"I just came over here to say goodbye. I have to go now, but I have a really great time at your party," Bella said.

"Okay," Anthony nodded.

"I'll see you at school on Monday," Bella smiled and tousled his hair as she stood up.

"Bye, Miss Swan," Anthony waved.

"Bye, Anthony. And I won't forget – whoa…" Bella stumbled as she bumped into someone. She turned around to see that Mr. Cullen had finished his conversation and was now standing right behind her. "Oh, excuse me."

Mr. Cullen eyed her sheepishly, gauging her reaction to his presence before he spoke. "Uh…you're leaving?" he asked, his hands still doing nervous dances through his hair. From the looks of it, that happened a lot.

"Yes," Bella answered in a clipped tone. The less she said, the better.

"Oh…I know Anthony was really happy you were here," Mr. Cullen nodded apprehensively.

Bella could tell that he was trying to work up the nerve to say something else, but she didn't want to hear it. Instead, she peered over his shoulder and smiled at Anthony.

"It was nice to spend time with him. But we'll see each other again on Monday," Bella said, avoiding direct eye contact with Mr. Cullen.

"Most definitely. Bright and early," Mr. Cullen smiled.

"Not too early, I hope," Bella said quickly. And then, because she couldn't resist, she added, "Not that you didn't already know that. Your friend over there already informed me that you got my letters," she thumbed towards Jasper.

Mr. Cullen glanced briefly to where Bella gestured.

"Yeah…about that…I was having a bad day that day and I just kind of…I mean, those letters were really rude and-"

"The letters weren't rude, Mr. Cullen," Bella interrupted. "And while I admit that I don't know your situation, let me tell you a little about mine. As a teacher, I am mandated to report any signs of neglect, abuse or abandonment that I see in students and –"

"Abuse? Now you're accusing me of abuse?" Mr. Cullen's demeanor changed quickly. He no longer seemed docile in his stance. He stood up straight and faced Bella – warning her to stand down.

"I am not accusing you of anything. However, when I see a student as young as Anthony at school, by himself, before any other adults arrive to supervise him, it is my duty to…"

"You know what lady? I don't give a damn about your duty. And you're right. You don't know a damn thing about my situation." Mr. Cullen glanced fleetingly at Anthony and lowered his voice. "This little boy behind me? I've known him two weeks longer than you have so excuse me if I'm not a contender for father of the year."

Bella was befuddled by his words and her mind raced to understand them. But Mr. Cullen saw a weakness in her silence and he rushed to continue his attack before she could strike again.

"You might want to get a little more information before you start threatening people with legal bullshit—"

"Mr. Cullen, I did not threaten you. I was simply stating that facts. I invited you to contact me if you had any questions about what I'd written but I never heard from you."

Bella glanced down and saw the look of fear that Anthony wore. The angry stance of his teacher and his father – two prominent adults in his life – was not a sight he should have to behold.

Internally Bella rebuked herself violently for allowing herself to be so unprofessional with a parent. As infuriating as Mr. Cullen was, he still had a right to be addressed tactfully and competently. And a showdown at a backyard barbeque certainly didn't fall into that category.

"I'm sorry. This is not appropriate," Bella said as she began to back away. "I keep office hours until three-thirty during the week if you'd like to continue this conversation another time."

Bella offered Anthony a final smile and wave as she turned and hurried from the abysmal mess she was leaving behind her.

"Oh my gosh…oh my gosh…oh my gosh!" Bella ranted as she drove back towards her home. She thought about all of the things she'd done wrong during their confrontation – the fact that they'd even had one being her first major fail.

"I'm going to lose my job," Bella stated matter of fact as she was stopped at a red light. "My first teaching job and I'm going to get fired because of some fucking deadbeat dad who can't get his shit together."

The lamentations of woe and regret continued well into the night as Bella tossed and turned and fretted about what Monday would bring. She was sure that the first thing Mr. Cullen would do was march into her principal's office and demand her resignation.

"But he approached me first," Bella sat up in bed in the middle of the night as the realization occurred to her. "I didn't start this. I was just telling his son goodbye and he came up to me…yes, I simply explained my position…that's what happened. I did nothing wrong."

Bella kept telling herself this over and over as she finally submitted to sleep. And then again, the next morning…and afternoon…and well into the evening.

However, the words had retreated behind a cloud of terror and dread as she walked the corridor to the office to check her box for messages.

"Good morning, Vivian. Any news?" Bella asked with trepidation.

"What kind of news?" Vivian spun quickly in her chair as if she were about to hear a juicy tidbit of gossip.

"Oh nothing. I just wondered if anyone was looking for me this morning…Mr. Schwartz, perhaps?" Bella inquired of the principal.

"No. Why did something happen?" Vivian asked with interest.

Bella shook her head. "No. Just wondering. That's all."

"Oh. Well Mr. Schwartz is out of the office today, anyway. What else is new?" Vivian rolled her eyes.

Upon hearing that, Bella exhaled in relief. She wouldn't have to worry about the principal beckoning her to his office at some unspecified time throughout the day.

"Well, I guess I'd better get to work," Bella said, a bit more chipper.

"Hey, what's in the bag?" Vivian called after a retreating Bella, referencing the gift bag slung over her arm.

"It's a soccer ball for one of my students."

The gift coincided well with sharing time. Anthony hadn't brought anything to share, so Bella pulled the bag from beneath her desk and placed it on his.

"My soccer ball!" he exclaimed.

If he remembered the harsh words his teacher had exchanged with his father, Anthony gave no indication of it. On the contrary, he stood happily in front of the class and told them that he liked soccer and that he used to watch it on TV when he lived at his other house. At recess, he bounded over to her with his classmate, Taylor, and asked if he could take the ball outside to play with.

"Of course you can," Bella answered, excited that he was finally making friends with the other kids.

The long sleepless nights she'd experienced over the weekend were catching up to Bella, and by the end of the day, exhausted was barely befitting of how she actually felt. When the last student finally trailed out of her classroom, Bella drug herself to the office to check her messages and to get a much-needed cup of coffee.

On the way back to her classroom, Bella groaned audibly when she noticed a memo on the top of her interoffice mail stack announcing an upcoming staff meeting. She sat down at her desk in a huff, nearly spilling her coffee in the process.

"That bad, huh?"

Bella nearly screamed when she realized she wasn't the only person in her classroom. Mr. Cullen sat perched on the edge of one of the small tables across from her desk.

When her heartbeat returned to the range of semi-normal, she noticed that he had his hands behind his back and she wondered what he was hiding. _Knife? Gun? Bomb, perhaps?_

"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you," Mr. Cullen stood up and approached her desk.

"No…I just didn't see you there. Sorry. How may I help you, Mr. Cullen?" Bella fidgeted with the decorative items on her desk to keep her shaking hands occupied.

Unexpectedly, Mr. Cullen's hands appeared from behind his back. In them he held an apple and a single rose that Bella recognized as the ones sold in the gas station down the street.

"I didn't know what kind of peace offering was appropriate for a teacher…" he trailed off.

Bella noticed the hopeful look in his eyes and she couldn't help but smile. "Mr. Cullen, you didn't have to get me anything. The truth is, I owe you just as much of an apology. I never should have allowed that to happen in public like that."

"No, it was my fault. Believe it or not, I was actually trying to apologize for being such a jackass before but then, well you caught me off guard with the abuse reporting and I just sort of…lost it again. I'm sorry about that." He set the apple and rose on her desk.

"Okay. We're both sorry then. And Mr. Cullen, I wasn't insinuating that you abused Anthony."

"I'll accept your apology if you stop calling me Mr. Cullen. It's Edward," he smiled.

"Alright, Edward," Bella nodded, finally starting to relax in his presence, "I was just trying to let you know that Anthony is not properly supervised when he gets here before eight-fifteen. And I didn't want to assume that you knew that."

"I didn't know that," Edward quickly told her.

"But I told you that in the letter," Bella stated.

Edward kept his eyes on Bella's desk and she noticed his breathing begin to pick up and his nostrils flare slightly. She braced herself for another verbal assault but when he looked up at her, she saw the pleading look in his eyes and it nearly shattered her heart.

"I can't do this," he said quietly.

"Yes, you can Mr…Edward. You _are_ doing it," Bella urged him in a soothing tone.

"No, I'm not," he insisted. "There's no way I can follow the rules here and on the job and make it work. I have to _punch in_ at work at eight. If I drop Anthony off at eight-fifteen, I won't make it to work until after eight-thirty. If I'm late three times, I'm out of a job. How can I take care of Anthony without a job?"

"Well…how about a babysitter or carpool? Is there anyone who could watch Anthony in the mornings and get him to school?" Bella suggested.

"I don't know…Everyone I know works like me," Edward pulled at his hair in frustration.

Bella reached into her desk drawer and grabbed a phone list with all the names and home telephone numbers of the students in her class. She began putting small checkmarks next to the names of mothers she knew didn't work outside of the home.

"Some of these families might be able to help you. Try calling them to see if they wouldn't mind you dropping Anthony by on your way to work. They're coming here anyway."

Edward accepted the list gratefully and Bella watched him as his eyes searched for the address nearest to his.

"Edward…" she hesitated when she had his full attention. "If you don't mind my asking…what did you mean when you said I've known Anthony two weeks longer than you?"

Edward stalled, straightening out the picture frame he'd just fiddled with on Bella's desk.

"A few months ago a social worker came to my job and told me that a girl I'd dated off and on after high school had been involved in a fatal car accident. Then, next thing I know, she's telling me I have a son. I didn't even know he existed before then," Edward explained.

"Anthony's mother never told you?" Bella asked in shock.

"Nope," Edward shook his head. He decided to leave out the part where she told him she'd had an abortion. It was a moot point now anyway.

"Wow…" Bella looked down at her hands as she reprocessed everything she now knew about Anthony but with this new insight in mind. "This must be so hard for Anthony…for both of you."

"It is," Edward agreed. "My biggest concern used to be keeping my buddies reigned in when it was my night to buy the beer. Now…well, now it's too overwhelming to even think about."

Bella nodded in agreement. "Is Anthony in counseling at all?"

"Counseling? What for?" Edward asked.

"Well…he just lost his mother. And you're…well by your own admission, practically a stranger to him. And now he's in a new town, starting school for the first time. That's a lot for a little guy to handle."

Edward showed no mercy to the pair of paperclips he was twisting into unrecognizable forms. "So you think he needs counseling?"

"I think you should at least have him checked out, to see how he's coping," Bella suggested.

"And the school can't do that?"

"This district hasn't had a psychologist in the schools for a long time," Bella shook her head. "But if you contacted the state…"

"Sounds expensive," Edward interrupted.

Bella shook her head. "I'm sure with Anthony's benefits, it wouldn't cost you anything at all."

"Anthony doesn't have benefits. I can't afford 'em. I don't have benefits, either," Edward admitted.

"Don't you have a social worker you're working with?" Bella questioned him.

Edward laughed. "Social workers only care about kids who aren't yours biologically. If they're giving them to you, instead of taking them away, you're on your own."

Bella shook her head. "I don't think so," she corrected him. "In addition to Apple Health, Anthony should be getting survivor benefits from the federal government."

"Survivor benefits?"

"He gets his mother's social security payments," Bella said as she searched through a stack of business cards in her top drawer. "Our school has a liaison at the Department of Social and Health Services that we work with. I could give her your information, if you'd like."

"Uh…yeah," Edward seemed rejuvenated as he processed the information. "Are you sure about this?"

"Positive," Bella nodded. "But Edward, you have to actually call these people back when they contact you," she lowered her eyes and added, "You're very hard to get a hold of."

Edward picked up a pencil and Post-It note from her desk and scribbled down seven digits. "This is my cell number. You can always reach me here."

Bella grabbed the number as if it were gold. She quickly stuck it to her class list so that she could update the file later.

"Well…Miss Swan…" Edward hesitated, hoping that she would correct him in the same way he had corrected her.

"Bella's fine," she said.

"Bella," Edward smiled, "I can't thank you enough for how much you've helped me today. If this all works out, then you've made my life, and Anthony's, a hell of a lot easier."

"Just doing my job," Bella said as she stood up since it was obvious the meeting was winding down. Now that she no longer feared Edward complaining to her principal, she could think of nothing better than crawling into her bed for a nice, long nap.

Edward was almost to the door before he turned around, "Oh, and for the record," he said, "I think you're a really great teacher."

Even if he was only trying to atone for the hurtful words he'd said before, or if he was simply showing his thankfulness for the hope she'd just given him, it made Bella feel wonderful to hear those words come out of his mouth.

* * *

**Thanks for hanging in there with me. I was probably more sick of "Mr. Cullen/Miss Swan" than you were! But now he's Edward and she's Bella...moving on. Oh, yeah, and SM owns all things Twilight. **


	7. Chapter 7 If You Leave

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 7 – If You Leave**

Edward sat at the table in Alice and Jasper's backyard, his chin resting in the palm of his hand.

"So you know her really well?" he turned to Rosalie.

"Well enough to know that she didn't deserve you calling her a bitch," Rosalie said as she narrowed her eyes in Edward's direction.

"For the last time, I didn't know I was talking _to _her and I was pissed off because she told me I had to pay $150 bucks because I was late picking up Anthony," Edward explained.

"A hundred and fifty bucks? She _is_ a bitch!" Emmett piped in.

"Em, she doesn't make the rules. It's pretty standard that parents are charged a per minute rate if they're late picking up their kids," Rosalie said before returning her attention to Edward. "And she was telling you the truth. She is mandated by law to report anything that looks like neglect. I'm pretty sure dropping your kid off where there's no supervision qualifies as neglect."

"There are people there," Edward said indignantly. Maybe they were janitors, but technically Anthony wasn't alone.

"Look, man, you do look a little like you're coming apart at the seams. Maybe you should take a little break and take care of some of this shit," Jasper said.

"And how the hell am I supposed to do that?" Edward asked.

"On Monday, go in and talk to Pete. Take a few days off," Jasper suggested.

"Like hell," Edward took offense. "You know how many guys are sitting at home. If I take vacation…"

"Edward, you have two weeks vacation every year like everyone else. You haven't taken any time off to deal with all this stuff you've been going through. If you keep going like this, you're going to make yourself sick. I think it would be better if you took planned time off instead of suddenly calling out sick."

Edward had to admit, Jasper had a point.

"And if I were you, I wouldn't make a habit of pissing off the teacher. It sounds like she can make your life a living hell," Emmett said.

"I know I would if I was her," Rosalie was still glaring at Edward. "And if I were _you_, I'd be kissing her ass to make sure she doesn't report me."

Edward was still mulling over his friends words on Monday morning after he'd dropped Anthony off at school – only a wee bit early – and hightailed it to work. He was barely able to clock in before his shift started and by the time he'd made it upstairs to his supervisor's office, he'd made up his mind. He _did _need to take time off from work or he was going to have a heart attack. He simply couldn't keep up this routine.

"Hey, Pete," Edward stuck his head in the office after rapping softly on the doorjamb. "Got a minute?"

Edward hadn't noticed that Pete was on the phone, but he was waved in anyway. Edward walked in quietly and took a seat on the opposite side of the desk, waiting his turn. He looked around the office while he waited. He focused on a cellophane wrapped rose that looked out of place on Pete's desk. As Edward waited, he imagined numerous scenarios that would entail Pete obtaining that rose. He tried to stifle the laughter that most of those thoughts conjured up.

"What can I do for you Edward?" Pete asked the minute he'd hung up the phone.

"Uh…I wanted to talk to you about possibly taking a little vacation time…soon," Edward stammered as Pete began to go through papers on his desk that housed the staff schedule. "If this is a bad time-"

"Actually, Edward, this is a great time. How do you feel about starting your vacation today?" Pete asked.

"Today?" Edward swallowed hard. He wasn't sure if he was being granted his request or a permanent dismissal.

"That was just corporate on the line," Pete gestured towards the phone, "and they want to come in and do a walk-through sometime this week. The fewer people I have around here, the better. Otherwise they might look into making cuts again. I don't have you on the circular saw this week, so this would be a good time for you to take a little time off."

Edward nodded. "Okay…but just for a week, right? I mean…I'm not going to get canned because I took a few days, am I?"

Pete was a large man – behind his back members of the staff called him Jabba, short for the Star Wars character Jabba the Hutt. But his intimidating features ended at his physique. With his staff, Pete was playful, compassionate and honest. The recent cutbacks had been devastating for him, so when he saw the fear on Edward's face, he empathized immediately.

"Edward, you're one of my best guys. If you have something to worry about, it means the plant is shutting down and we all have something to worry about – and I don't see that happening anytime soon, so go, take some time off and take care of that kid of yours. Don't think about this place until you come back next Monday."

"Thanks, Pete," Edward exhaled in relief. As he got up to leave, the rose caught his eye again. "You and the Mrs. have a romantic evening planned?"

Pete looked over and saw that Edward was nodding toward the rose and he grimaced before picking it up and chucking it at Edward. "Some homeless guy near the tunnel gave it to me for giving him two bucks to wash my windows."

"Wash your windows? Is that what they're calling it these days?" Edward joked as he resituated his newly acquired rose.

"Get out of here before I change my mind and take your vacation pay away."

With a final salute, Edward left Pete's office and headed toward home to sort out the mess that had become his life…after a quick nap.

When Edward returned home, he took time to do the little things he never really had time to do anymore: check and sort the mail, take out the garbage, gather the dirty laundry to take to the Laundromat and toss the rancid food out of his refrigerator.

As Edward walked around the apartment picking up stray items, he noticed Anthony's puppet on the couch. He picked it up to get a closer look and noticed that it smelled atrocious. He chucked it into the laundry pile before heading out to the resident's laundry room. When he arrived, Edward was elated to see how empty the room was. There was one washing machine going, which meant he could do all of his laundry at once. He'd be done in no time.

"Man, people who don't have to work during the day have it made," he mumbled as he loaded his belongings, and Anthony's, into the machine. He happened to glance down at his watch and see that there was only a half an hour left before Anthony got out of school. He wondered if his son would be excited to be picked up right after school or if he enjoyed the afterschool program. Either way, it would be nice not to have to pay for a week of afterschool care.

Edward made it to the school just as the last bell rang. Classroom doors burst open and suddenly kids were everywhere. By the time he made it near the kindergarten corridor, he could see Anthony up ahead being led to the room that housed the afterschool daycare.

And then Miss Swan walked briskly by.

As soon as he saw her, Rosalie's words filtered through his mind. Edward knew he needed to apologize, he just didn't think an impromptu apology would satisfy the damage he'd done.

_Kiss her ass, Cullen._

Suddenly Edward remembered Pete's rose that was still lying on the front seat of his car. He jogged back to the parking lot thinking a peace offering was just what he needed to level the playing field a little bit.

During the short jaunt, however, doubt set in and as he stood peering through the window at the rose, he wasn't so sure it was a good idea after all.

"She's going to think I'm trying to hit on her," he muttered.

But people use flowers to say they're sorry all the time…

He quickly opened the door and grabbed the flower, willing himself to just do it and get it over with. As he did so, he knocked the bag holding the lunch he'd made for the day onto the floor. An apple rolled onto the floor of his car.

An apple! Bring an apple to the teacher…or flowers?

"What the hell…" Edward said quietly as he berated himself for not being able to make such a simple decision.

A woman rushing to her car reminded Edward that he was wasting time. He picked up the apple and polished it on his shirt as he held it and the rose in the same hand.

_Kiss her ass, Cullen. _He'd rather err on the side of doing too much rather than not enough. He _had_ called her a bitch, after all.

The kindergarten classroom was empty when Edward made his way inside. He walked over to the large desk on the far side of the room and perched himself on a table to wait. He glanced down at his watch and saw that he had ample time before 3:30; the time Miss Swan had told him she ended her office hours.

When she entered, she had her head down, reading over a paper that she held in her hand. Edward marveled at the way she skillfully maneuvered the room without even looking. She sat down and muttered something in irritation.

"That bad, huh?"

Miss Swan nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw Edward standing there. Her eyes searched for his hands and when she didn't see them, her anxiety became evident.

"How may I help you, Mr. Cullen?" she asked after apologizing for her skittishness.

Wanting to set things off on the right note, Edward set both the apple and the rose before her. "I didn't know what kind of peace offering was appropriate for a teacher…"

She said that he didn't need to give her anything, but he saw the slight way her shoulders relaxed and her smile now looked genuine instead of forced.

After a few pleasantries and an urging on Edward's part to address him by his first name, Edward watched the conversation shift to one of serious business. Miss Swan again told him that when he dropped Anthony off before the allowed time, he was alone and unsupervised.

And then Edward saw it. That look. That look that told him he was a selfish person and a fuck up. That he was a failure, doomed to spiral downward for the rest of his life.

The last time he'd seen that look, he was a twelve-year-old kid looking across a courtroom at his parents.

The same emotions that had welled up back then threatened to overcome him as he stood before Miss Swan. Before he could stop them, the words tumbled out of his mouth:

"I can't do this."

But instead of agree with him, Miss Swan sounded sincere as she insisted otherwise. Not only did she tell him that he could do it, but she told him he _was_ doing it.

When Edward pressed to tell her of his insurmountable problem with getting Anthony to school while still getting to work on time, she seemingly solved the problem in seconds by whipping out a class directory and starring all the names of the households that would be able to give Anthony a ride to school each morning.

And if that wasn't enough, she pulled out a plethora of information, seemingly out of thin air: health benefits, social security…survivor benefits. Edward's mind raced to wrap around it all.

He had walked into Miss Swan's room, or Bella's room, as she had granted him first-name honors, a broken man, but he left it full of hope and promise.

The first thing Edward did once he and Anthony were home was retrieve his items from the apartment complex laundry room. He was surprised to find that someone had moved his items from the washer into the dryer. He would have thought it was a nice gesture had it not been for one problem: as Edward lifted the clothes from the dryer, out fell Anthony's puppet…in three pieces.

"Oh shit." Edward didn't know all that much about children, but it didn't take a diehard dad to know that if you ruined a child's favorite item, you were in a world of trouble.

While Edward tried to figure out what to do about Anthony's decapitated "toy", he went down the roster Bella had given him and circled the addresses nearest him and his job. He was happy to have three choices to work with, but it didn't take much time for the first two numbers he called to give him a negative response. One woman had five children, so there was no additional room for Anthony. The next family was only interested in an exchange – if she dropped off Anthony, she wanted him to pick up her kindergartener and fourth grader from school and bring them back to her house right afterschool. Since Edward wasn't able to do that, no arrangement could be made.

Luckily Edward struck gold on the third call. Not only was the mother willing to drive Anthony to school each morning, but also her son, Taylor, was fond of Anthony. Edward liked knowing that he would be leaving his son with a friend each morning.

As Edward's eyes browsed the list he'd received, he noticed that although Bella didn't add her address to the directory, her telephone number was listed among the class numbers. He considered calling her and asking her opinion of what he should do about the loss Anthony's puppet. She was really the only one who would understand why he felt it was important – as he hadn't really shared the emotional aspects of his situation with Anthony to his friends. Though he was sure they could figure it out on their own, he hadn't expressed it himself and it wasn't something he felt like getting into at the moment.

Despite that, he called Jasper. When he received no answer, he called Emmett, then hung up when he remembered he went to some realtor's dinner with Rosalie.

Pushing aside the thoughts that Bella was probably going to think he was the biggest creeper this side of Clallam Bay, Edward dialed the number as it appeared on the sheet of paper he was holding.

She answered on the second ring.

"Bella?"

"Speaking," she stated professionally.

"Um…so…I know this is weird, considering you just gave me your telephone number not even two hours ago," Edward stalled.

"Is this Edward?" Bella asked.

"Yes, and I'm sorry to bother you at home, but I figured you'd be the best person to ask, since you know about kids and all…"

"Okay…" Bella sounded nervous to hear what he was about to say.

"Today there was an incident with this puppet-thing Anthony has-"

"Gus?"

"What?"

"The puppet. Its name is Gus. Anthony brought him for sharing one day."

"Oh…really?"

"Yes. Gus has an entire family history. It's really quite fascinating. You should ask Anthony to tell you about it sometime."

"Yeah, well…that's the thing…Gus is…no longer with us." Edward paused when he heard Bella gasp on the other end of the phone line. At that moment he knew she understood. "Someone tossed my clothes in the dryer from the washing machine in the laundry room. I guess Gus wasn't supposed to go on the dryer." Edward left out the part that if someone else hadn't done it, he probably would have. How as he supposed to know that you can't wash then dry a cloth puppet?

"How did Anthony take it?" Bella asked.

"He doesn't actually know yet," Edward articulated slowly.

"Edward, you have to tell him," Bella instructed. "And the sooner, the better."

"Yeah, I know…I just wondered if it might…cause some other things to happen that I should know about."

"What kind of things?"

"Well…I'm sure it…_Gus_ was some sort of security type thing and his grandma gave it to him and now she's gone and now the puppet's gone…see what I mean?"

"Yeah, I understand," Bella said, "but you're just going to have to face that. There's no other way to do it. You can't buy another one, not that I'd advise that…you are asking for my advice, right?"

"Yeah, totally."

"Okay, then I'd say, sit Anthony down and tell him the truth. And do it now. Don't wait until he's about to go to bed and he's looking for it. Give him time to process what happened," Bella said.

"And then what?" Edward asked anxiously.

"Well…honestly…that's about as far as my Child Development 101 takes me in this situation," Bella admitted. "But remember he's only five, Edward. If Gus made him feel safe and Gus is no longer there to do that, then he's going to need you to do that for him. Tell him that he's safe with you."

Edward hung up the phone feeling just as lost as he felt when he'd picked it up. But he knew Bella was right. The last thing he wanted was a meltdown before bedtime.

"Hey, Anthony," Edward said as he approached his son, who, as always, was sitting on the sofa in the small, silent living room.

Anthony looked up to acknowledge that he'd heard Edward, but he didn't speak.

"Um, I need to talk to you about something," Edward said awkwardly as he took a seat near Anthony on the couch. Then realizing that this was probably the exact way someone had approached him to tell him about his mother and grandmother, Edward hurried to state the facts.

"Gus was your puppet?"

"Yeah…but I can't find him. I thought I put it in my backpack, but it's not there," Anthony said. Suddenly Edward noticed that he looked stressed.

"Well…Gus was a little dirty, so I gave him a bath…and while he was in the washing machine, someone else, not me, some other person I don't even know, came and took him out of the washing machine and put him in the dryer. Well…Gus isn't supposed to go in the dryer…I'm sorry, buddy."

"Sorry for what?" Anthony frowned.

_Yes…you actually have to tell him that part._

"Um…well…Gus kind of…came apart in the dryer." Edward held up the evidence of the beloved dismembered item.

Anthony's eyes grew large for a moment before his expression returned to normal. He looked away and again said nothing.

"Hey," Edward gently prodded him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay," Anthony nodded. "I just gotta fix Gus," he said matter of fact.

Edward took one look at Gus and wondered if Anthony was seeing the same thing he was, because Gus was obviously beyond repair.

"Well…I think I might have an idea…" Edward began.

"What is it?" Anthony looked hopeful.

"Why don't we make a special resting place for Gus until we find someone who can fix him?"

"What kind of resting place?"

"Well…c'mon, I'll show you."

Anthony followed as Edward led him into the walk-in closet in his bedroom. Quickly Edward discarded some old baseball cards from a shoebox and presented it to Anthony.

"But it's empty. This will be too hard for Gus to sleep on," Anthony said as he peered inside the box.

"Okay…well…let's get some stuff to make a blanket and pillow," Edward suggested.

When napkins and toilet paper didn't satisfy Anthony, Edward cut the sleeves of a few old shirts of his and presented them to Anthony for bedding. Anthony accepted the remnants of cloth and worked up until bedtime making a bed and coloring the lid of the box so that Gus would have "something nice to look at while he waited".

There was no emotional breakdown when Edward told Anthony to climb on the couch and go to sleep, but as Edward turned to shut off the light, he caught sight of how small Anthony looked on that big couch all alone.

"Are you okay out here, Anthony? Or do you want to sleep with me?" Edward asked.

Anthony was up so fast that Edward didn't understand his response until Anthony was already halfway to Edward's bed, pillow in tow.

It was rare that Edward shared his bed with another individual for the purpose of sleep. Therefore, he was having an extremely difficult time falling asleep as he listened to the pattern of Anthony's breathing.

Images of lottery winnings and pinup girls lay just on the underside of Edward's eyelids, and he was just about to succumb to them when Anthony's small voice sliced through the night.

"If we don't hurry, Gus will have to go live with Mommy and Grandma," he whispered.

Edward lay still, momentarily considering feigning sleep just so he could wait to deal with this after he'd had a little more time to prepare what he would say.

"We'll fix Gus," Edward assured him. Then he thought of what Bella said and even though the words didn't seem to fit, he said them anyway. "Anthony, you don't have to worry, okay? You're safe here...with me."

"But what if something happens to you? Then who's going to take care of me?" Anthony wanted to know.

"Nothing is going to happen to me. I'm going to take care you, Anthony."

"That's what Mommy said, too. And she's not here anymore."

Edward lay on his back, staring up into the darkness, as he tried out words of encouragement in his head.

"Anthony, I know you probably have a lot of questions about everything and I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything. And if I can't answer something, then we'll find someone who can…together. Okay? Because it's you and me now, buddy. Okay? I'm not going to leave you."

Edward looked over in the darkness waiting for Anthony's reaction to his heartfelt words; his eyes, straining through the darkness, were met with the snoring form of a sleeping little boy.

The emotional outpouring, instead of draining, had left Edward energized and wide awake. As he beseeched sleep to return to him, he pondered the similarities between his life and his son's. The negative thoughts were before him in an instant and he tried desperately to suppress the fact that while both he and Anthony had lost their mothers at a young age, only Anthony's loss had been an involuntary one.


	8. Chapter 8 Electric Youth

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 8 – Electric Youth**

Bella could not stop thinking about the heart-wrenching story that Edward had told her. How could someone have a child they didn't even know about?

And then when he'd called her later that evening to tell her about the demise of Gus, Anthony's beloved stuffed toy, Bella knew that Edward was in over his head. It also reminded her that she'd promised to make a call to the Department of Social and Health Services on his behalf. So the first thing she did when she went in to work the next morning, was make that call.

"Hello, Glenda Hill."

"Glenda, it's Bella Swan from Forks Elementary."

"Hi, Bella. What can I do for you?" Glenda asked with a smile in her voice.

"Well…I have sort of a favor to ask of you. I have a student who, it appears, should be getting some sort of survivor benefits. His father was just granted custody of him and he is having a really hard time trying to adjust to having a family all of a sudden…"

"Name?" Glenda asked, cutting Bella off mid-sentence.

"Uh…Cullen. Edward Cullen is the father's name. The student's name is Anthony David…well it was Stanley. I don't know if it's been legally changed to Cullen."

"Hold on a second…" Glenda's keystrokes could be heard over the phone. "Oh my…this guy's got a whole book cataloged in here. He's got a caseworker that's been trying to get a hold of him for ages."

"Let's verify contact information. He gave me a new telephone number," Bella said. Just as she suspected, Glenda had a different address and telephone number than what Bella had.

"Okay, well I can send him the paperwork that we need on file, but he's got insurance companies, attorneys, all sorts of people trying to get a hold of him. Since I've entered this updated information in the system, and flagged his caseworker, they'll probably start trying to get into contact with him immediately," Glenda said.

"Good. He needs all the help he can get," Bella sighed. It was just a little effort, but Bella felt good knowing she was doing a little bit to make Anthony's life a little easier.

The days that followed were uneventful. Bella's kindergarten class was moving along at a commendable pace. They were eager to participate and agreeable with one another. And even though she tried not to single him out, Bella paid close attention to Anthony. He seemed to be doing fine as well. And it didn't go unnoticed that when Bella bent down next to him to look at the tracing pattern he was making, his clothing smelled freshly laundered.

Rosalie called early in the week to set up her weekly outing with Bella. And when Bella made no excuses, she then proceeded to tell her that Alice was coming along.

"Remember, the one whose house you loved so much?" Rosalie asked.

"That's not her only redeeming quality, but yes, I remember her," Bella rolled her eyes as she spoke.

"Yeah, well I mentioned our outings and she wants to come. I told her we'd do pizza and beer this week." And then knowing Bella would interject her distaste for beer, she added, "You can order root beer."

"Sounds good to me."

And truthfully, it did sound good. Things had finally started to calm down and Bella was looking forward to a night out with the girls where her only concern was what kind of pizza toppings she would order.

So on that Thursday, Bella happily sat opposite Rosalie and Alice at Pacific Pizza with a frothy glass of root beer and a slice of vegetarian pizza.

"What is the point of eating pizza if you're not going to get any meat on it?" Rosalie grimaced at Bella's choice.

"I feel less guilty about eating junk food if there are vegetables involved," Bella answered, matter of fact.

Alice giggled and pointed at the pizza. "Although judging by the amount of cheese they piled on it, I think it's pretty safe to say that you might as well have had pepperoni."

"Hey, I would like to remain blissfully ignorant regarding my caloric intake for tonight, thank you very much," Bella told her.

Alice took a swig from the beer bottle she was holding before addressing Bella again. "Edward told Jasper how much you helped him out with all the aid stuff for Anthony. That was really sweet, Bella."

Bella shrugged. "I was happy to do it, really. Anthony is such a great kid and the idea of him going without anything just breaks my heart," Bella said.

"He is," Alice agreed. "But Edward is doing all he can. He's really a great guy, he's just used to being a bachelor, you know?"

Bella nodded, even though she had no idea. She didn't know Edward except for a few verbal exchanges. He seemed nice enough, but on the other hand, he seemed pretty irresponsible, too.

Rosalie watched the conversation between Alice and Bella with a perverse interest. She sat forward, as if she were waiting for a moment of entry.

"He's been doing things on his own for so long," Alice went on, "that I'm sure it just blew his mind that someone like you would be out there to help him."

"Stop it right there, Missy," Rosalie slapped her hand down on the table.

Bella jumped, startled by the noise and Alice looked over in wide-eyed wonder.

"What?" asked Alice innocently.

"Yeah, what gives?" Bella asked.

"She's trying to set you up," Rosalie pointed a freshly manicured nail at Alice.

"I am not," Alice defended herself, but the smile that she was trying to hide gave her away.

"Oh you so are, but you can just put the notion of Bella and our dear friend the deadbeat dad out of your mind. Bella is way too good for him," Rosalie said.

"How can you say that? Edward is awesome. He has a job, he doesn't live with his parents, he has his own car-"

"He has his own _kid_," Rosalie reminded. "And if you think for a second that he wouldn't try to pawn that child off on Bella – or whomever he was dating – the first chance he got, you'd better think again."

"Are you speaking from some sort of experience, Rosalie?" Alice asked.

"I don't need to experience it to know it's true," Rosalie argued. "Guys are all the same. They shirk responsibility the first chance they get. Edward's no exception. First chance he gets, he's bringing home something with two tits and a furry center to play mom to junior."

Bella choked on her root beer as she listened to Rosalie's crass description of Edward's next girlfriend. She was about to add her two cents to the conversation but Alice beat her to it.

"Rosalie, what would you do? If you were going about your business, making ends meet, and then out of the blue someone tells you that you have a kid out there that you never knew about –"

"How would I have a kid I never knew about? Was I unconscious when I have birth and throughout the entire nine months while I was blowing up like a balloon?" Rosalie scoffed.

Alice pouted, flustered by the interruption. "You know what I mean."

"No. I don't. Because it is quite difficult for a _responsible_ person to get themselves into this kind of situation. And that is exactly my point. What Bella needs is a _responsible_ man. She spent all this time in college working on her career. Why would she settle for some guy who's just going to drag her down?" Rosalie said.

"Didn't _you_ go to college, Rose?" Alice asked.

"Yeah."

"Well, Emmett didn't," Alice stated smugly. "And he works with Edward…and makes less money than Edward, I might add. Why is it okay for you to date him?"

Rosalie looked taken aback by Alice's comment, but only for a moment. "Because the sex is fuck-hot," she smirked.

"Well maybe I want to have fuck-hot sex, too," Bella said as she elbowed her playfully.

"See," Alice lifted her chin. "Maybe Bella wants to be set up with Edward…"

Now it was Bella's turn to interject. "Whoa, whoa, wait. Bella is not saying she wants to be set up with Edward," she spoke in third person to emphasize her point. "I don't even know Edward, but I think it's pretty safe to assume that I'm not his type, nor is he mine. And for the record, I'm not really looking to be fixed up right now…with anybody." Bella made it a point to make eye contact with both Rosalie and Alice as she spoke.

"Well then you've got exactly one month to change your mind because I just scored service for eight to the Alder Wood Bistro – free drinks, baby!" Rosalie said as she high-fived Alice from across the table.

"Wow, how'd you swing that?" Bella asked.

"I simply made a call from the law offices of Benson, Bates and Beetle to the owners of the property that the restaurant sits on and told them that they are technically exceeding their boundary line by six-and-a-half feet. They're paying me off with free booze not to inform the neighbors," Rosalie smiled smugly.

"One of these days someone is going to call you on that fake law firm scam," Bella frowned. "Seriously, Rosalie, you're crazy to do that."

"Please. I've been making calls from my made up law office for years and no one has ever doubted me. One lady even told me she'd seen the commercial for them on TV!" Rosalie laughed.

Bella rolled her eyes.

"Oooh, I think I can get my friend Ben to comp us a limo for that night. We could party the whole way to Port Angeles and the whole way back," Alice said, not caring that Rosalie had conned an unsuspecting party to gain their bounty.

Rosalie looked over and noticed the less than enthusiastic look on Bella's face.

"You won't come?" she asked.

"I'll come…but don't set me up. I'll get my own date," Bella said.

Fortunately for Bella, the conversation then turned to work and she was off the hook for defending her love life, or lack thereof.

After another hour of brainless banter, Bella left the pizza establishment and headed home to her quiet solitude. As soon as she entered her apartment door, she kicked off her shoes, sorted her mail and pressed play on her answering machine:

_Congratulations! You have been selected for consideration for an all expenses paid cruise to Puerto Vallarta. All that is required of you is your attendance at our seminar on –_

Delete.

_This is a recorded message from the Customer Service Department at JCPenney. Your catalog order has arrived and is available for pick up. Please retrieve the item within fourteen business days, or it will be returned to our fulfillment center. For more information, please call – _

Delete.

_Um…Bella? Hi. This is Edward. I know you probably think it's really weird that I keep calling…I hope I'm not bugging you. I just…had a question…and I was wondering…well I got all these papers in the mail that I'm supposed to fill out for Anthony and I can't even make heads or tails of 'em. And the lady I called kept telling me that if I needed assistance with the forms I'd have to call and make an appointment and that's like, two months out. I really need to get this handled now, ya know? Anyway…I was wondering if maybe you could have a look at some of this stuff and tell me if you know what I'm supposed to put? Because – BEEEEP_

_Bella? Are you there?…I think your machine cut me off or something. Anyway, can you give me a call back, like, if you can help…or maybe point me in the direction of someone (Anthony, not right now…because I need the flashlight to sort this out…in a minute…nothing's going to get you. It's fine. There are no monsters in the hallway). Um…yeah, so like, my vacation ends tomorrow, so I won't really have time to take care of this next week…so if you, or someone you know of might know something about all these forms – BEEEEP_

_Uh, it's Edward again. Can you just call me back…on my cell? Thanks._

Bella looked at the clock on her stove and considered whether she should call Edward back or simply wait until the next day. He sounded so desperate…and the fact that he was running out of time on his vacation nagged at her. She hated to be the bearer of bad news, but she knew absolutely nothing about the forms he was filling out and doubted that she would be very much assistance. But she decided to call him anyway, so that he wasn't holding out on false hope. Judging from the way he'd filled up her answering machine, he probably wouldn't stop calling until he got her on the line anyway.

After changing out of the clothes she'd worn to work, Bella settled into her plush, over-stuffed couch and dialed the number she was embarrassed to admit was quickly becoming committed to her memory.

"Bella, I'm sorry to keep bugging you like this, but I just got a shitload…um, sorry, a lot of papers in the mail and I don't even know where to start with it. And I can't even get anyone on the phone that will give me a simple answer," Edward pleaded his case as soon as Bella got him on the phone.

"Were there any instructions that came along with the forms? A lot of times they'll send your every form that relates to a particular section, even if only a couple of forms actually applies to your situation. Each form usually has a heading with a little description underneath," Bella said.

"There are literally a thousand pieces of paper on my table right now. I seriously think I'm responsible for the death of six trees."

Bella laughed at his joke. "Well…I'm sorry that I can't be of more assistance, but without actually seeing the forms, I wouldn't know what to tell you. And I've never really had any prior experience with any of this. I'm sorry."

Edward kept going as if Bella hadn't said a word. "What the hell is a declaration of entitlement?"

Bella's eyes landed on the laptop computer resting on the ottoman in front of her. "Do you have a document number? I can probably look it up online. At least I'll be able to see what you're looking at."

"A document number…where might one find that?" Edward asked.

"At the bottom of the form. Usually it's a series of numbers and dashes."

"F242-173-222."

Bella typed the series of characters in her search engine and narrowed it down by requesting the state of Washington. In no time at all, she and Edward were looking at the same form. In addition, she had before her a description of each form, which she read to him as well.

"Do you have Internet access?" Bella asked. "It sounds like it would make things a lot easier."

"I don't. Not at home," Edward said. "I'm taking up too much of your time, aren't I?"

"No, it's fine. I just don't want to waste your time if I'm not helping you at all. I know you don't have much left," Bella told him.

"I've been on the phone with you for five minutes and you've already helped me accomplish more than I've been able to all day."

As Edward spoke, Bella continued to read over the form displayed on her screen. "I don't think you need this one, Edward. Not unless Anthony's mother worked for the State."

"I don't know. I don't know what she did," Edward said.

"Okay. Well let's assume, for now, that she didn't work for the State. Then, once you've got all the necessary documents completed, the case worker will be able to tell you if Anthony has any other benefits coming to him."

"Sounds like a plan to me."

"Okay…next form?"

Bella's problem-solving, analytical, and linear nature took over as she helped Edward prioritize the items that had to be handled right away and the things that could wait until he had a little more time to address them. Supplemental income to assist with Anthony's needs, and getting Anthony healthcare were at the top of the list of things that needed to be accomplished immediately. The contents of safety deposit box in the state of Oregon could wait until another day.

"Edward?" Bella paused after they'd been talking beneficiaries and social security numbers for almost three hours. "Do you need to go put Anthony to bed?"

"Nah. He's actually asleep right here next to me on the couch. I had to move from the kitchen into the living room because he was freaking out about the dark."

"Why not just let him sleep with the light on?"

"I don't know…say, listen, I've kept you long enough. You probably need to get going," Edward said swiftly.

"Actually, I do need to go. I have a few items to prep before class tomorrow. But I wanted to ask, how's it working out having Taylor's mom drop Anthony off at school?"

"So far so good. Thanks again for the idea…and for helping out tonight. I really appreciate it."

"No problem," Bella said as she wound down the call. Her eyes darted to the clock as she mentally calculated how much sleep she would be missing out on if she didn't end the call and complete the tasks she needed to get done. "Have a good night."

"You, too…and thanks…again."

Cutting out animals for an upcoming class project took longer than Bella had expected, and when she finally got into bed, she had to accept far fewer hours of sleep that she was used to.

And she definitely felt the effect of it the next morning.

As a result of her lack of sleep, Bella took many liberties with her class the next morning. She subjected them to a lot of art activities and seat work that she knew they would be able to do on their own while she sat at her desk, swilling coffee and contemplating sticking toothpicks in her eyelids to keep them propped open.

During an assignment where Bella had her class draw a picture about their family, she walked among her students and witnessed drawings of houses, stick figure mothers and fathers, circles that were supposed to be pets and favorite toys that waited for their owners in nearby bedrooms.

But when Bella stopped at Anthony's desk, she saw that whatever he'd drawn lay beneath a veil of black crayon.

"Anthony, honey, why are you coloring over your picture?" Bella asked as she knelt down beside him.

"I'm not," He shook his head as he continued to scribble.

Bella softly placed her hand over Anthony's to stop the momentum. "Anthony, I would like to see a picture about home," she said, careful not to mention family with him. "And I can't see it underneath all that black."

"But it's dark at my house," Anthony shrugged. "This is what it looks like."

"It's only dark at night. What about the rest of the time."

"It's dark. The lights don't come on," Anthony insisted. "I keep trying but they just don't work."

Bella sighed as she realized what Anthony was telling her. _No electricity? With a child in the house? What was Edward thinking?_

Sensing the tension, the other students began to take notice of the conversation that was happening between Bella and Anthony so she quickly changed the subject and asked Anthony to draw her a new picture, but this time to imagine the sun shining through the windows.

Anthony had no problem submitting to the change.

Bella knew that Anthony had always been an honest and forthcoming child, so she had no reason to doubt what he was now saying. But at the same time, she really wanted him to be mistaken. She wanted to believe that Edward was more on top of things than to let them go without hot water and power.

Without appearing overly nosey, Bella knew she had to get to the bottom of this. So while her class was at their last recess, Bella called Rosalie to get Alice's telephone number.

"You'd better not be going out without me," Rosalie warned when Bella was vague on why she wanted the digits.

"I'm not. I just…need emergency contact information for one of my students," Bella lied.

"Oh." Feeling that the need was legitimate, Rosalie then rattled off Alice's cell and home telephone number.

However, before Bella had a chance to use them, the recess had ended and her students were all looking at her expectantly for direction.

When the parents came at the end of the day to collect their children, Bella looked up and saw that Edward was among them. He offered her a tight-lipped smile and a slight wave as he leaned against the back wall of the classroom with his hands thrust deeply into his pockets. Bella could tell by the way his expression changed that she had stared at him for an inappropriate period of time – as she was consumed with the thought that he and Anthony were basically living in the Dark Ages. Knowing that she wouldn't be able to speak to him and pretend that she didn't know about the unacceptable conditions in which Anthony was living, Bella busied herself with a parent that was all too eager for an impromptu parent-teacher conference until her classroom had emptied for the day.

Bella was barely inside the front door of her apartment before she called Alice to confirm what she already knew to be true.

"Hi, Bella!" Alice greeted her exuberantly. "Pizza sure was fun the other night, wasn't it?"

"It was. I hope you'll start going out with us more often," Bella invited.

"I'd like to. I probably can't make it every week, but at least once a month. That would be fun."

"It would," Bella paused so that she didn't seem like a complete jerk for making innocent small talk before sifting Alice for information. "Alice…I was wondering if I might ask you a question."

"Sure. What about?"

"About Edward."

Alice squealed into Bella's ear. "I knew it! I knew it! Oh man, am I glad you aren't listening to Rosalie. I think you and Edward make the cutest couple ever. And you should hear the way he—"

"No, Alice, I was just wondering about …well, I just want to make sure everything's going okay for him," Bella stalled.

"Yeah, sure. I mean, Jasper hasn't mentioned anything to me, but Edward hasn't been at work all week and they don't really talk on the phone…so…as far as I know. Why?"

"I was just wondering…did his power get shut off?" Bella came right out and asked.

Alice was silent for a long while. "Who wants to know?"

"I do," Bella stated, slightly misunderstanding the question.

"No, I mean, do you want to know as Bella, a friend, or as Miss Swan, the mandated reporter?"

"I'm always the mandated reporter, Alice. I can't shut it off."

"Oh. Well…check your sources. Edward's power is fine," Alice stated flatly.

"Alice?"

"What?"

"There's a little boy in that apartment, Alice. A little boy that is terrified of the dark, who can't have a warm bath or a warm meal –"

"Edward can't cook. Are you kidding me?"

"Alice…"

Alice sighed and then lowered her voice. "Look, Bella. I'm not going to help you get Edward in trouble."

"Is that what you think I'm trying to do?"

"Aren't you?"

"Alice, Edward is going to be visited any day now by a social worker, an insurance agent and any host of other people all checking to make sure he's doing the best possible job taking care of Anthony. I don't think relegating a child to pure darkness is going to look very good, do you?"

"It's not his fault," Alice finally said. "He got behind on a few payments and then when he couldn't make the account current, they shut off his power."

"Well how much could it be? He lives in an apartment, for goodness sake!"

"Well, it was $187, which was hard, but not impossible. But now they want an additional $250 deposit before they'll turn his power back on. Who has an additional $400 floating around, Bella? I know I don't."

"So he's just going without?"

"It's not as bad as you think. He spends a lot of time here with us. They've had dinner with us a couple nights this week, and I think he's coming over here tonight. He hangs out until it's time for Anthony to go to bed and then they go home. He's getting by."

"How long has it been like this?"

"It just happened on Tuesday morning. Happy Vacation, huh?"

"Yeah," Bella said softly.

She ended the call with Alice and trudged through her small dwelling place, anxious to get Edward and his situation out of her mind.

"It's not my place to get involved," she told herself. "I have to see evidence of neglect and abuse before I get involved…so far I have seen none."

Bella's pep talk wasn't working, however. Try as she might, she couldn't stop thinking about Edward, but not from a professional standpoint, but from the perspective of a woman who had sat on the phone with a man for hours listening to the anguish in his voice and the will to just get it right.

"What the hell are you doing, Bella?" she asked herself as she held her mobile phone to her ear and listened to it ring.

"Hello, Clallum PUD, how can I help you?"

"Um…yes. I am calling from the law offices of Benson, Bates and Beetle, on behalf of my client, a Mr. Edward Cullen."


	9. Chapter 9 Hungry Eyes

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 9 – Hungry Eyes**

Bella tried not to think about the illegality she'd committed by impersonating a figure of the law. But her wrongdoing just wouldn't stop sliding to the surface of her conscious thoughts. It haunted her for the entire weekend and Monday morning it greeted her with the rare rising sun.

"I'm going to hell," she muttered to her reflection as she got ready for work.

But when she saw Anthony walk into the classroom later that morning, she felt justified in what she'd done.

And even more so when she retrieved her voicemail after lunch:

"Bella, it's Edward. I have a huge favor to ask. I just got a call from the electric company and I need to go down there after work to square some things away. There's no way I'm going to be able to pick Anthony up and then make it back across town before they close. Would it be possible for you to take him home with you and I pick him up from there? I know it's a weird thing to ask, and like I said, I really need to get this taken care of. Can you call me and let me know either way?"

While her class was still filing in from the lunch recess, Bella dialed Edward's cell phone number.

"Edward?" she asked, even though she knew it was him when he answered.

"Yeah?" he seemed distracted and leery in his answer. Bella knew right away that he feared the worst.

"Anthony's fine," she quickly assured him. "And I can certainly bring him home with me. However, I did plan on going grocery shopping today after class. Do you mind if I take him with me?"

"No, not at all. That's no problem," Edward spoke quickly. "Your address is in that directory you gave me, right? Park Side Place?"

"Yes. Apartment 104, on the bottom floor."

"Okay…uh…I'll be there as quickly as I can."

"Sure, but there's no rush. We'll be fine."

Bella could hear machinery in the background and knew right away that she'd interrupted Edward's workday. She quickly said goodbye to him and let him get back to his productivity.

Bella still had her mind wrapped around her afterschool tasks when she went to the office to collect her mail during the last recess of the day. As she passed by the secretary's desk, she overheard a piece of conversation between Vivian and the afterschool aide, Regina.

"When I took this job, I was told that I would hardly ever have to stay until 5:30 p.m., but Anthony Cullen stays until at least that every day. It was so nice last week when he wasn't here. I got home in time to get dinner made, help my kids with homework and get the dishes done. Now Rod gets home before me and he's a grump by the time I get there," Regina complained.

Bella was immediately incensed by her tone. How inconvenient of Anthony to actually require her to do the job she was hired to do! Bella couldn't help but roll her eyes at the audacity of the complaint.

"Anthony's coming home with me today, so you don't have to worry about putting in an honest day's work," Bella said. Even though she was smiling, her words conveyed her serious intent.

"I'm not saying he's a bother," Regina seemed stung by Bella's words. "It's just that I have so many other things going on that it would be nice if I could get out of here before 5:30 a couple nights a week, you know?"

Bella was about to respond that she had no idea what it was like to report that she'd worked a full day, while only working a portion of it, but Vivian piped in before she could.

"Why are you taking Anthony home, Bella?" asked the ever-inquisitive secretary.

"Oh, just doing a favor for his dad," Bella replied as she sorted her mail.

"Oh really?" Vivian raised her eyebrows and exchanged a dubious glance with Regina. Regina looked to have recovered from Bella's rebuke and was now interested in the possible gossip.

Bella looked up at the double entendre Vivian's tone suggested. "Yes _really_. He's a friend of mine and I'm just helping him out." As she spoke the reply, Bella wondered if 'friend' was the correct description. After all, she hardly knew Edward.

"Mm-hmm," Vivian smiled deviously.

"What?!" Bella asked, irritated by the insinuation.

"Oh come on, Bella. Don't tell me you haven't noticed how lickable that man is," Vivian smirked.

"Lickable? I don't even know what the qualifications are to render one as such, and even if I did, I doubt I'd ever label anyone in that way," Bella stated.

"So you don't think he's cute?" Regina asked.

"Who, Edward?" Bella stalled. "Well…I mean…he's not unattractive."

"That's the understatement of the year. That is eye candy in the flesh," Vivian shivered for emphasis.

Bella looked between the two women and shook her head. "I'd better get back to my class before you two get me implicated in a sexual harassment lawsuit."

Vivian and Regina were unrelenting as they laughed and called out after Bella, "Don't try to act like you don't think he's hot. You wouldn't be doing any favors for him if he wasn't."

Bella didn't bother to reply, but their words didn't sit well with her. Of course she wanted to make sure Anthony was taken care of and she didn't want him to be left alone in afterschool care, especially with a worker that didn't want to be there. But was there something more to her involvement? Would she extend the same hospitality to all of her other students?

She shook her head at the impudence of her doubt. Of course she would act the exact same way toward any student in Anthony's exact situation. This wasn't about Edward. Though if Bella was honest, she did have to admit that the anguish in his voice each time she talked to him tugged at her heart. And the look in his eyes when he pushed aside his pride and asked for help…

"It's compassion, not attraction," Bella said aloud as if she were defending herself.

But just in case any onlookers might get the wrong idea, Bella made sure to keep a low profile as she and Anthony made their way to her truck in the staff parking lot when school had ended.

"Do you have a car seat in your daddy's car, Anthony?"

Anthony nodded as he peered up at Bella's truck. "This is your truck?"

"It sure is," Bella said proudly of the 2007 white Toyota Tundra truck her parents and grandparents had gone in on as a surprise graduation gift.

"Do you have a seat for me?" Anthony asked.

Bella sighed as she leaned against the truck. She didn't have a booster seat for Anthony, which meant she'd have to go into the afterschool care room and use one of the booster seats that had been left unclaimed. So much for escaping undetected.

When Regina saw Bella and Anthony enter the room, a haughty smile appeared on her face as she sized up the scenario.

"Is there an extra booster seat in here?" Bella asked, even though she knew there was. She didn't want to have another conversation with Regina about Anthony's father, but she also knew how rude it would be to walk in and out without saying anything.

Regina pointed to a closet that housed the needed item, but didn't move from where she sat with three first graders and one fifth grader.

Bella grabbed what she needed quickly and she and Anthony departed as fast as they possibly could.

"Mrs. Regina's mean," Anthony stated as he and Bella returned to her vehicle.

"Why do you say that?" Bella inquired.

"She always yells and she never lets me play with the building blocks. She says it takes too long for me to clean them up."

Bella rolled her eyes as Anthony spoke. She knew he was telling the truth because it sounded exactly like something Regina would say.

"I'm sorry, Anthony," Bella offered. She said it because she had a feeling it was the one sentiment, apart from 'I love you', that Anthony hadn't heard nearly enough since his life had been turned upside down.

Once they'd reached the grocery store, Bella noticed that Anthony seemed to be dragging, so she offered him a ride in the grocery cart, which he readily accepted.

"I like macaroni and cheese," Anthony spoke up when he saw it on the shelf in their current aisle.

Bella realized that Anthony was probably starving. He had eaten more than half of his lunch at morning snack, and at lunch all that had remained was a sandwich. Bella hadn't gone out of her way to search out his nutrition…but she _had_ noticed.

"Do you like macaroni and cheese with hotdogs?" Bella leaned in close to him and whispered.

"That's my favorite!" Anthony exclaimed.

"My mom used to cut up my hotdogs and bake them inside of the macaroni and cheese…" as soon as the words left her mouth, Bella realized her mistake. _How would Anthony react to being reminded that he no longer had a mother?_

"My mom does that, too," Anthony said.

Bella caught that he referred to his mother in the present tense, and she wondered if Anthony truly understood that his mother was never coming back.

"Maybe you can tell your dad it's your favorite so he can make it for you," Bella suggested.

Anthony's face dropped. "He said he doesn't know how to cook." And then the smile that had been present most of the afternoon reappeared on Anthony's face. "Maybe you can show him."

"Uhh…" Bella stalled. "Yeah…maybe."

That seemed to appease Anthony for the rest of the time that they traipsed up and down the aisles, gathering Bella's food – that and the fact that she'd added a package of hot dogs and not one, but two boxes of macaroni and cheese to her cart.

Bella's knack for finding the shortest, yet slowest line at the grocery store was in full effect that day, as she and Anthony waited what felt like hours to check out. To pass time, Bella told Anthony silly riddles and stories that kept him giggling as they waited.

"He is adorable."

Bella turned around to see a middle-aged woman with caramel-colored hair and kind eyes beaming at Anthony fondly.

"I'll have to agree with you," Bella said as she wiggled her finger against Anthony's side to tickle him. His laughter rang out in snorts and giggles.

"He looks so much like my son did at that age. He's about five, right?"

"He is," Bella answered, wondering if she should provide that much information to a stranger. But the woman didn't even look as if she were paying attention. Instead she seemed to be lost in thought of a faraway time.

"So cute…" the woman mumbled, her eyes back on Anthony.

Anthony patted Bella on the arm just then and saved her from having to think of a way to end the awkward conversation with the strange woman.

"I'm allowed to have that," Anthony said, pointing to a package of M&M's.

Bella smiled at his forwardness, but picked up the candy anyways. "For after dinner," she told him.

The promise of the treat had Anthony excited all the way home, and once they entered Bella's apartment, he made sure he knew exactly where she put it once she'd unpacked the groceries.

"Do you want to watch a movie while I make dinner?" she asked.

Anthony shrugged. His eyes were on her walls, taking in the pictures, and on the furnishings throughout. He walked toward the bathroom and stopped mid-stride when he saw her office that doubled as a place Bella could sleep when her parents were visiting.

"You have a blue bed!" Anthony turned and looked at her with a grin. "I had a blue bed at my old house."

Bella walked up behind him and saw that he was speaking of the blue comforter that adorned the small twin sized bed that was also acting as a settee at the moment.

It was the second reference that Anthony had made to his pre-Forks life and Bella wondered if it was because he felt comfortable with her and he wanted to talk about it, or if he simply wanted to let her know that her bed reminded him of his.

"I think blue is your favorite color. Am I right?" Bella decided that it was most likely the latter, but if Anthony wanted to talk about something, she wouldn't put him off.

"Is blue your favorite color?" Anthony wanted to know.

"I like all colors. Some days I like red, some days I like blue. Today I like blue."

"I like all the colors, too," Anthony decided.

Television didn't seem to hold Anthony's interest. Instead, he sat on a chair in the small kitchen and watched with unbridled interest as Bella toss macaroni and cheese and hotdogs into a baking dish. He then seemed unable to take his eyes off the oven as Bella set the dish to bake. Even the games, stories and jokes Bella used to entertain him while the food was cooking didn't fully engage Anthony. His eyes continued to roam over to the oven every few minutes. He never said anything, but Bella could tell he was hungry.

And when she finally set the hot plate of food in front of him, Anthony devoured it.

"Would you like some more?" Bella asked when he'd finished eating in record time.

Anthony nodded, emphatically, that he would.

Bella sat quietly and watched him eat. After all the time she spent preparing meals for one, it was nice to cook and watch someone else enjoy what she'd made. And Anthony certainly seemed to be enjoying it.

"I'm going to go wash my hands," Anthony held up the evidence of his need for soap and water. His fingers were coated with the oil from the buttery macaroni and the beefy hotdogs.

"You wash your hands, and I'll wash the dishes," Bella swiped at his nose as she rose from the table.

Anthony giggled as he pitter-pattered down the short hallway to the bathroom. Bella listed to make sure that he was able to turn on the water, and when she heard the stream hit the ceramic basin, she began loading the dishwasher and rinsing her cooking pots and pans.

Bella was halfway through packing up the leftovers to send home with Anthony when she became cognizant of the fact that she could no longer hear him in the bathroom. Like anyone else in the position of caring for someone else's child for the first time, Bella began to think of all of the things that could have gone wrong in the short time between when Anthony had stopped making a sound and when she'd finally realized it.

In a flash of speed, Bella hastened to the bathroom, only to find it dim and empty. She double-backed to the living room, thinking he might have decided to read one of the many books she'd brought out for him, but when she walked over to the couch, she saw that the books lay on the coffee table untouched.

"Anthony?" Bella called his name. He had never struck her as the type of child who would engage in an uninitiated game of hide and seek, but maybe he was in a playful mood now that his belly was full.

When he didn't return her beckoning, Bella began to tiptoe through her apartment, peeking through the door of her bedroom and the bathroom once again. She was about to admit defeat and give in to her panic when she peered into her office.

Little sneakers were lined up on the floor against the bed and their owner was curled up in a tiny ball in the middle of the blue comforter – fast asleep.

Bella couldn't escape the contented sigh that escaped her lips; not so much from finding the child, but in finding him at such peace.

She watched him sleep for a few moments more before retreating to the living room to grade papers. Luckily, in kindergarten, grading papers consisted of putting stickers and smiley faces on colored pages and tracing worksheets. Edward arrived twenty minutes later just as she had completed her second stack of artwork.

"Sorry. It took forever down there," Edward apologized when Bella answered the door.

"Don't worry about it. Anthony was no bother," Bella spoke in a low tone. When she saw that Edward seemed puzzled by her whispering, she added, "Anthony fell asleep a few minutes ago." Bella led Edward to where the sleeping boy lay. "He went to wash his hands and the next thing I know, he's sound asleep."

"He does that," Edward nodded. "He'll be playing or looking at a book or something, and then I'll look up and he's out."

Bella looked up to smile at Edward and realized how close they were standing to one another. Close enough to smell a hint of the scent of his leather jacket, slightly dewed by the light evening rain. Close enough to see the five o'clock shadow sprouting along his chin, a darker shade than the unruly amber locks of his crown. Close enough to notice that her eyes aligned perfectly with a chest that didn't look uncared for or neglected.

Regina and Vivian's words and innuendo-laden glances chose that exact moment to spring to Bella's mind. _Were they right? Had I subconsciously noticed that Edward was…nice looking?_

And then it registered with Bella that neither of them was saying a word. Awkwardly, she backed away and headed to her kitchen. Edward followed her.

"I really appreciate you watching him. I'll pay you for your time…"

"Don't be ridiculous," Bella interrupted.

"Well I don't want you to feel like I'm taking advantage of you."

"I don't. And it was fun having some company this afternoon, so I should be thanking you," Bella said as she retrieved a paper bag from underneath her sink and filled it with plastic containers full of leftover macaroni. She held it out to Edward and he looked inside before accepting it.

"What's this?" he asked

"Dinner."

"Oh, you didn't have to…" Edward didn't bother to finish the sentence when he saw the look Bella was giving him. Of course she had to feed him. And of course she did it willingly.

"There's plenty, if you want to indulge your inner five-year-old," Bella smiled. "Can't go wrong with cheesy-mac hotdogs."

Edward smiled again and Bella wondered why he didn't do it more often. It was obviously one of his strengths.

"So…uh…I'd better go wake up…" Edward stammered.

"Yeah. Okay. Well…I'm glad you got everything taken care of…right? You did get everything done that you needed to get done?" Bella asked.

'Oh, yeah. I did. It was great. Thanks again, you really helped me so much today."

Bella waved him off with a smile and accepted the bag back so that Edward could have his hands free to carry Anthony. She gathered Anthony's backpack and shoes and trailed Edward out to the car.

"Have a good night. Drive safe," Bella said once Edward was done situating Anthony in the car. The steady downpour of rain was a deterrent for any more small talk and Bella retreated back inside her warm, dry apartment.

As soon as she walked back into her kitchen, her eyes fell upon Anthony's unopened package of M&Ms. With the way Anthony had coveted that candy, Bella was sure Edward wouldn't hear the end of it if he left it behind. Bella grabbed the candy from the counter and raced back outside.

She made it to Edward's window in time to see him scoop five fingertips worth of macaroni into his mouth.

He was startled when Bella knocked softly on his window.

Sheepishly he rolled down the window, and Bella pretended not to notice the small piece of pasta that stuck to his bottom lip.

"Anthony forgot his M&Ms," Bella quickly handed them through the window.

Edward accepted them and then pointed to where the container of Anthony's leftover dinner sat open on the passenger seat. "I guess I didn't want to deny my inner five-year-old after all," he grinned.

Bella laughed. "Have a good night," she said again before dashing out of the rain.

She was still smiling minutes later from the small interaction she'd had with Edward. They talked so little, yet each time they encountered one another, Bella came away feeling like he was less of a stranger. It was almost as if they'd started a friendship in the middle of the protocol, trumping all beginning rituals. There were no initial introductions or customary salutations. Instead, his unique and tumultuous situation had pulled her right into his life, and though it was unlike anything else she'd ever allowed herself to experience, she didn't regret her involvement thus far.

However, Alice almost made Bella reconsider that thought when she called at nearly nine o'clock that night.

"What did you do?" Alice asked with a sing-song lilt to her voice.

"What do you mean, 'what did I do'? I didn't do anything," Bella said, truly having no idea what Alice was talking about.

"All I know is that one day you were quizzing me about Edward's electricity and then a couple days later…viola! Problem solved. Purely a coincidence? I think not."

"Edward got his electricity turned back on?" Bella asked innocently.

"Oh don't even try it," Alice laughed. "We called him a few hours ago to see if he was going to come over here for dinner and he said he'd just gotten home from the electric company and that he had power…He also said that you'd babysat Anthony for him."

"I just took him home from school."

"To your house."

"Well where was I supposed to take him? Edward wasn't home."

"Hey, don't get defensive with me. I think what you did…whatever it was…was awesome." Alice said. "I mean, it takes a person with a pretty big heart to put a utility deposit down for someone they just met."

"I didn't put a utility deposit down," Bella said.

"Ah-ha! But you did do something. Come on. Spill it."

"It's no big deal, Alice. I merely made a call on Edward's behalf asking if they could waive his deposit requirement. I might have reminded them that Edward paid a deposit when he initially began service with them and that since he wasn't in arrears more than that deposit, they could have taken the past due amount out of that instead of making him pay an additional deposit," Bella explained.

"Whoa," Alice was impressed. "How did you know about that?"

"I didn't," Bella laughed. "Actually, I saw it on Court TV once, but I had no idea it would work."

"But how'd you get them to discuss Edward's account with you? I can't even get them to discuss our bill with me because the account is in Jasper's name."

"Well…I might have…impersonated a law firm."

"You didn't," Alice gasped before breaking into a fit of laughter.

"I did, and don't you dare tell another soul."

"Oh you bet I will, because if Edward ever finds out…yeah…I'll definitely make sure not to tell anyone. Not even Rosalie."

"Thanks," Bella muttered.

But now she didn't feel like much of a Good Samaritan. What _would_ happen if Edward ever found out?


	10. Chapter 10 With or Without You

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 10 – With or Without You**

Edward leaned his head against his fist in an effort to catch a few winks of sleep during his short lunch break. But Emmett and Jasper had other plans. With a loud raucous, they thundered into the empty seats at Edward's table and launched into their plans for the weekend.

"Man, remember when we used to talk about going out and hookin' up?" Emmett asked. "Those were the good 'ole days."

Jasper looked up at Emmett. "Things not going so well with Rosalie?"

"It's not that," Emmett shook his head to emphasize his point. "Things with Rose are fine. I'm just talking about…you know…when the possibility of meeting someone was there. You know? It was exciting."

"That's not the way I remember it," Jasper frowned.

"That's because you haven't dated anyone but Alice since you had a paper route in eighth grade," Emmett muttered.

"It only seems great when all you remember are the good times," Edward piped in. "Trust me, it's not all fun and games."

"Dry spell?" Jasper empathized.

Edward was about to respond when Emmett chimed in.

"Oh, hey, that reminds me. I saw Vicki the other day. She asked about you. Wanted to know if you were seeing anyone," he said.

"Ugh," Edward grimaced.

"She wasn't _that_ bad," Emmett said, but his face revealed that even he didn't believe his own words.

"Actually," Edward stalled to look at his two friends briefly. "I was thinking about asking Bella out."

"The teacher?" Emmett asked.

"Really?" Jasper leaned forward. "I guess I can see that."

"I can't really say we've been hanging out, but we've spent a little time together and she's been…really nice," Edward explained.

"Because she helps you out with the kid?" Emmett asked. "Because if that's the only reason you're askin' her out she's gonna see right through it."

"The reason I'm asking her out is because if I don't, I don't think I'll ever get to spend any time with her _without_ Anthony," Edward defended himself. "And because I think she's…attractive." Edward fought the urge to describe Bella as _hot_. It just didn't seem right to talk about his son's teacher in that way.

"She's cute, I guess," Emmett reflected. "But I've never really looked at her. I've only seen her a few times."

"Well, you'll see her tonight. She's coming to pizza night," Jasper grinned." Alice invited her."

Pizza night was supposed to be something Jasper and Alice did weekly with their friends. But time, budget and fatigue usually relegated it to a once-a-month activity. Since Thursday nights had the best television line-up, they'd sit around, watch TV, eat pizza and talk about how glad they were that the next day was Friday.

The only requirement was that each person or couple had to bring one pizza to share with the group.

"I can't afford a buy-in," Edward muttered.

"I'll cover you," Jasper offered. Then he nudged Emmett. "Em, you can bring an extra pizza, right?"

"Why do we both have to bring one? If you're getting an extra one, why do I have to?" Emmett complained.

"Fine. Adhere to a three-slice maximum and you don't have to bring an extra pizza," Jasper wagered.

Emmett pouted before giving in. "Fine. I'll bring another one. But I'm getting something cheap, like cheese."

Edward listened to his friends banter and he knew they weren't intentionally making him feel like a burden, but that's exactly what they were doing.

"It's okay. I don't think I'm going to come tonight anyway. Anthony doesn't do well when he gets to bed late. Plus I promised him I'd teach him how to play soccer," Edward said.

"You gonna put him on a team?" Emmett looked genuinely interested for the first time since their conversation started.

"Are you kidding?" Edward snorted. "Anthony is the most uncoordinated child I've ever seen. He gets that from his mother. Two left feet."

Jasper and Emmett exchanged glances. Edward never spoke about Jessica or his relationship with her and they weren't sure what the protocol was now that Edward had brought her up.

Leave it to Emmett to speak first and think later.

"Is that weird for you? Like, to see things about him that remind you about her, knowing that she's…you know…gone?" Emmett asked.

Edward played with a small twist-tie that had been left behind on the table. "It's weird…but I don't really feel anything when it comes to Jessica. I think all my emotions are just canceling each other out. I mean, when I first found out about Anthony, I was pissed that she didn't even tell me I had a son. And then I was sad that she…you know…died. And then some days I have like this huge amount of respect for her because she did this shit on her own and I can't figure out how. I can barely make it and Anthony's in school half the day. Can you imagine what it must have been like when he was a baby? If I had gotten him then, I know that there's no way I could've done it."

"You do what you have to," Emmett said.

"Yeah, and don't be so hard on yourself. Didn't she live with her parents or something? I'm sure she had help," Jasper reminded Edward.

"And that's what you need," Emmett interjected. "Help."

Edward knew his friends were right, but he also knew that the help they were speaking of wasn't easy to come by. First of all, he didn't have any money to pay someone to look after Anthony. He also didn't want to leave Anthony with just anybody. And it would take time to meet, get to know and trust someone – time he didn't have. He needed help now.

Later that afternoon, after promising Jasper that he would show up for Pizza night, Edward headed off to the school to pick up Anthony. As he walked to the afterschool care room, he couldn't help but glance towards Bella's classroom. The lights were off and it was dark. She was gone.

_Good. Maybe she was already on her way to Jasper and Alice's house._

The thought produced a smile on Edward's face, and when he walked into the overly furnished room to retrieve his son, he looked like he didn't have a care in the world.

Anthony bounded up to Edward with his soccer ball in tow. "Miss Swan said she would come to my game on Saturday," he said excitedly.

"Your game?" Edward frowned as he took the ball from Anthony and waited for Anthony to get his coat on.

"Yes. You said that we're going to have a game at the park on Saturday," Anthony told his father.

"Anthony, I just said that I was going to teach you how to play soccer at the park on Saturday. It's not a soccer game. There aren't going to be any other players. It's just you and me, buddy." Edward told him.

Anthony looked at Edward as if he'd just repeated, verbatim, exactly what Anthony had said. "Right. Miss Swan said she would come watch me."

"Did she just happen to say that, or did you ask her to come watch your soccer game?" Edward asked.

"I asked her to come watch my soccer game."

"Exactly. And as I just told you, there is no soccer game. It's just me teaching you how to play."

Anthony's face fell as he looked up at Edward. "So she can't come?"

"There's nothing for her to come _to _Anthony. She misunderstood you, okay? She thought you were inviting her to watch a game, like between two teams. But you aren't on a soccer team. Not yet." Edward told him as they walked to the car.

"Oh," Anthony responded.

By the time Edward parked curbside in front of Jasper's house, Anthony seemed to have forgotten about the soccer game mishap. However, as soon as he saw Bella's truck in the driveway, Edward couldn't open the door fast enough for him to get out.

"Miss Swan!" Anthony swung open the front door and ran inside to seek her out and announce his presence.

Edward walked into the house slowly, and smiled his apology at Alice for his son's rude entry.

"Aw, he's just excited," Alice told him.

Secretly, Edward was just as interested to see Bella as Anthony was. It seemed like everytime they had a conversation, she was helping him figure something out. Tonight he was hoping to get to know _her_ a little better.

When he entered the living room, Edward stopped short at the sight in front of him.

Bella stood off to the side of the room, speaking candidly with Rosalie about something he didn't care to know about. And she was wearing a pair of jeans that looked like they were made to be worn only by her. They accentuated every curve and angle of her lower half perfectly.

She looked amazing.

Jasper caught Edward starring and wiggled his eyebrows at him before nodding in her direction, urging Edward to do what they both knew he wanted to do.

Edward stuck his hands in his pockets and smirked. _Later._ He'd ask her out later, when he was able to do it without an audience. But he was most definitely going to ask her out.

"Come on girls. Come help me in the kitchen," Alice called to Bella and Rosalie. Everyone knew it was just for the convenience of girl talk and that there wasn't really any work to be done.

Edward caught Bella's eye as she walked by him and she smiled.

"Hi," she said.

"Hey," Edward nodded. He noticed that she was wearing a v-neck shirt and it was all that he could do not to look to see what awaited his eyes at the bottom of that v.

Edward also noticed that Anthony was all too eager to follow Bella into the kitchen.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" Edward asked playfully as he retrained Anthony by his shoulders.

Anthony shrugged.

"Why don't you go wash your hands? We're about to eat," Edward told him. Anthony nodded and scuttled off towards the restroom.

"Man, did you hear that the plant is offering overtime? What the hell is that all about? First they lay off like twelve guys, and then they offer overtime?" Emmett stated in his booming voice.

"How'd you know about that?" Jasper asked.

"You knew about it and didn't say anything?" Emmett replied.

"You know I can't tell you guys everything I know," Jasper stated. Then he looked over at Edward. "Did you hear about it?"

"Nope," Edward sat down. "But time and a half sure would be nice. Who's getting it?"

"I'm totally going for that shit," Emmett said.

"Actually, you can't," Jasper told him. "You're not cleared to work the lathe. There's only like, five guys that can do it." Again Jasper's eyes met Edward's. Edward was one of the five. He was also the leading candidate. But Jasper knew his limitations.

"How much overtime are we talking?" Edward asked.

"It's not actually overtime, as much as it is a full time equivalent position. And there's a shift differential," Jasper vaguely explained. "It's three-twelve's."

"Three twelve hour days?" Emmett shot up. "Some fucker is going to get paid more to work less? Are you kidding me?"

"Have you ever worked a twelve hour day, Emmett?" Edward asked. "It's not exactly a walk in the park."

"Still, four days off? I'd give my left nut for four days off," Emmett expressed.

"That does sound nice," Edward nodded. "What are the hours?"

"Six in the morning 'til six at night," Jasper looked forlorn as he answered. Only a person with no childcare responsibilities would be able to accept a shift like that.

Edward let out a low whistle. He wanted that shift. He wanted it badly, but he also knew that there was no way he'd be able to make it work with Anthony.

"I don't suppose there's any way to do it over the weekend?" Edward was half-joking, half-serious.

"Nope," Jasper shook his head.

Edward leaned back against his chair and momentarily fantasized about how easy his life would be if he could score a three-day workweek and bring home a little bit of extra cash. His mind turned over what his options with Anthony would be, and then he realized that he hadn't seen Anthony come out of the bathroom from washing his hands.

Without a word, Edward stood up and peered down the hallway to see if the bathroom was still occupied. It wasn't.

Edward was about to check the back bedrooms to see if Anthony had gotten sidetracked, but the voices from the kitchen distracted him.

"Bella, he is so amazing," Edward heard Rosalie say. "He's got a condo in Seattle that you can see the Space Needle from."

"Big deal. You can see the Space Needle from lots of places in Seattle," Alice didn't sound impressed.

Edward heard Bella laugh.

"And every time we have a lunch meeting, we always make him drive because he has the nicest car. It's an Infiniti, and I swear, when you ride in it, it feels like you're gliding on air. If I hit my sales goals, I'm totally getting one," Rosalie rambled.

"Okay, so Derek has an awesome condo and an awesome car, but what does he look like?" Alice wanted to know.

"He's cute," Rosalie said a little too quickly.

"Cute as in bulldog puppy or cute as in he'd totally be hot if he lost thirty-five pounds?" Alice questioned.

"He's not fat, bald or acne-riddled. Dang, Alice, what kind of person do you think I am?" Rosalie complained.

"Okay, enough, you two. Alice, I'm sure Derek doesn't look like Shrek, and Rosalie, I've already agreed to go out with him so you can stop reading me his resume already," Bella said.

Edward felt deflated as he heard those words escape Bella's mouth. He was too late. He'd waited too long and now she was going out with another man. A man, he couldn't help noticing, that had managed to impress even Rosalie, and that was a feat within itself, judging by the things Emmett had said about her.

Edward heard Bella laugh again. Then he heard a boyish giggle.

Not bothering to conceal himself any longer, Edward moved into the doorway and stared directly into the kitchen. Alice was counting out paper plates, Rosalie was sending a text message via her phone, and Bella was sitting at the dining table, with Anthony on her lap, tickling him intermittingly.

Knowing that Bella had been sitting there, holding his son while speaking about another man rubbed Edward the wrong way. Regardless of the illogicalness of it, Edward felt betrayed.

"Anthony, come here," Edward ordered flatly.

"Miss Swan said she can come watch me play soccer even if it's just me," Anthony said happily.

"Anthony, I told you to go wash your hands," Edward said sternly.

"I did," Anthony told him.

"Then come here," Edward pointed to the floor next to where he stood. He noticed that Bella was giving him a quizzical look, as if asking him what the hell his problem was.

Anthony slowly climbed down off Bella's lap and slowly walked over to Edward.

"Actually, Edward," Alice turned to face him, "I just had the carpet in the living room shampooed, so I was hoping we could all eat at the table…is that okay with you?"

"Yeah. I just need to talk to him," Edward pointed to Anthony and began to lead him out of the room.

"Edward," Bella's voice sounded like music as she called his name, "if you had something special planned for you and Anthony at the park, I won't go. It just seemed important to him, so I said I'd go. I didn't think…I'm sorry I didn't ask you first."

When Edward looked into Bella's eyes, he saw it. Immediately he knew that she knew. She saw right through him, to his personal anguish. And not only did he have to admit it to her, but he had to admit it to himself: projecting his own frustration onto Anthony, and indirectly onto Bella, made him the biggest prick of a father there was.

"No, it's fine," Edward said. "I just didn't want you to think there was going to be this big game with teams and cheering…it's just him and…me." Edward gazed at Bella a little longer than he meant to. "So, if that's okay with you, I know he'd really like it if you were there."

"Then I'll be there," Bella smiled at Anthony.

Edward took Anthony out of the kitchen, under the pretense of having something important to say. But when Edward looked into Anthony's big, wondering eyes, he knew that the only thing he should be saying was 'I'm sorry'. But knowing Anthony wouldn't understand what he was apologizing for, Edward leaned down so that he was eye level with his son and reminded Anthony to always remember to let him know where he was.

"I sent you to the bathroom to wash your hands and the next thing I know, you're in the kitchen. I need to know where you are, Anthony. Okay?" Edward asked.

Anthony nodded.

"You're not in trouble. I just want you to tell me what you're doing, okay?"

Anthony looked above Edward at the same time that Edward felt the presence of someone else. He stood up and turned to see that Bella was behind him, her eyes on Anthony.

"Anthony, Alice gave you a special plate at the table. Do you want to go see it?" Bella asked.

Anthony nodded but looked to Edward for permission. Edward gestured his agreement, and then sighed. After a few moments of silence he could hear Anthony and Alice talking about the zoo animal plate; he could also hear Bella shifting her weight from one foot to another behind him.

"Is everything okay, Edward?" she asked.

"Yeah. Fine. Why?" he spun and put on a fake smile.

"I don't know. You just seemed…really frazzled a minute ago."

"Oh…yeah. I couldn't find Anthony. I sent him to wash his hands and he never came back…"

"Oh," Bella nodded. She was looking at him like she expected him to tell her more, but he didn't know what else to say.

They stood there staring at one another awkwardly until Jasper and Emmett came through on their way to the kitchen. Edward noticed that Jasper had a quirky smile on his face and instantly Edward knew what he thought was happening.

"I won't come on Saturday if you don't want me to," Bella whispered.

"Bella, it's fine. Honest. Come. Anthony really wants you to be there," Edward said. And up until a few minutes ago, so did Edward.

At first, Edward thought it was going to be lame eating at the table instead of around the television set, but he had to admit, it wasn't that bad. He got to watch as his friends and their significant others interacted with one another and he also got to know a little bit about Bella. Her list of attributes was growing: she was nice, caring, smart, pretty and funny as hell. Oh, and man could she wear a pair of jeans.

It didn't take long before Emmett brought up the subject of the overtime and Jasper admonished him because it wasn't public knowledge.

"Who are we going to tell?" Rosalie asked. "It's not like anyone I know cares about who is getting a few extra hours at the lumber mill."

"That could really help some people out," Alice fleetingly looked over at Edward before asking Jasper if he was eligible for it.

"It's only for people on the floor. Not admin," Jasper answered.

"I don't necessarily think overtime is such a great thing," Bella spoke up.

"Not such a great thing?" Jasper looked over at her like she was crazy. "I'm sorry, I'm Bill Collector. Have we met?"

Bella laughed at his brashness but added, "No, I get that people need to pay their bills, but overtime really takes away from family time, rest time and the extra money you make is basically taxed to obliteration."

"Well, normally, I might be inclined to agree with you," Jasper relented, "but this isn't really overtime. It's three twelve-hour workdays in which the employee would maintain full-time wages on top of a shift differential."

"Wow," Bella looked impressed. She looked over at Edward. "Are you going to do it?"

"Can't," Edward said. "It starts at six in the morning and ends at six at night. Unless I want to get anymore scathing letters from my son's teacher, or more one-hundred and fifty dollar daycare charges, I'm not a contender."

Edward knew he'd overstepped his bounds when Bella stopped mid-chew and looked down. She pretended to re-adjust the napkin in her lap as she swallowed her food.

Alice noticed the tension between Edward and Bella and was the first to break the silence.

"It's only three days a week. Can't you just drop him off a little earlier with the lady who drives him to school now and let her take him home? You could pick him up from her house," Alice suggested.

"She can't," both Edward and Bella said in unison.

"And besides, I'd have to drop Anthony off at five-thirty in the morning. Only a crazy person would agree to that."

"I am _so_ glad I don't have any kids," Rosalie said as she reached for another piece of pizza.

"Rosalie!" Bella frowned at her.

"What?" Rosalie asked with a bite-full of pizza in her mouth.

Edward watched as Bella looked from Rosalie to Anthony and back to Rosalie, signaling to her with her eyes.

"Oh. Sorry," Rosalie muttered.

Bella reached over and touched Anthony's hand and asked him if he wanted anymore pizza. He grinned at her and lifted his plate for another helping.

Edward watched the exchange between Bella and Anthony. She was so natural in taking note of his needs. Edward hadn't even noticed that Anthony didn't have any more food on his plate.

The conversation at the table wound down quickly and Bella helped Alice clean off the table before announcing her departure. She said goodbye to Anthony, but only glanced at Edward as she left.

As soon as she was gone, Edward wanted to leave as well. He was no longer in the mood to interact with his friends.

"I'm gonna take off," Edward told Jasper and Emmett as they plopped down on the sofa and began to flip through television channels.

"So what happened?" Jasper asked quietly, even though Rosalie and Alice couldn't hear anything over the racket they were making in the kitchen.

"Yeah, either she turned you down or she said yes and then got all shy, because she sure was quiet," Emmett observed.

"Actually, I never asked her," Edward stated casually with a shrug of his shoulders. "I found out she's already seeing someone."

"Oh," Jasper said awkwardly.

"Anyway, I have to get home and get Anthony to bed. So…I'll see you guys."

As Edward made his way out, Jasper jumped up and followed him through the front door.

"Hey, Edward, I didn't want to say anything in there, but just a heads up," Jasper looked over his shoulder to make sure he and Edward were alone, "Pete is going to offer you that new shift tomorrow. Don't turn him down without at least taking the weekend to think about it."

"Jasper, you know I can't do it," Edward stressed. "How can I do it?"

"I don't know, but you've got to at least try. This is exactly the kind of break you need. You need to think outside of the box and try," Jasper urged. "Call Vicki. At least you have a history with her. You don't have to start at the beginning."

Edward looked over to where Anthony was quietly picking up rocks in the small front yard. It was a reminder of yet one more thing he couldn't give his child: a front yard – or a back yard for that matter.

Jasper was right. Edward needed to at least try.

At home, Anthony climbed into Edward's bed after a quick shower. Anthony hadn't slept on the couch since the night Edward offered to let him sleep with him, and as long as it kept Anthony from bringing up Gus, Edward saw no need to make a change.

It wasn't until Anthony was asleep that Edward allowed himself to truly consider the shift change that Jasper had told him about. Things looked completely different now that he knew the position was his for the taking. Now he was desperate for it.

Edward exhaled deeply as he sat forward, his elbows resting on his knees and his chin resting in his hands. He could almost hear his mother's words as she told a twelve-year-old Edward that sometimes adults had to do things they didn't like; that it was a sign of maturity.

He sat silently for a few more moments before he pulled out his phone and scrolled to a number that he used to know by heart.

"Hello, Vicki? Hi. Yeah, it's Edward….Yeah, it has been awhile, hasn't it? Yeah…so, uh, how are you?"


	11. Chapter 11 Should I Stay or Should I Go

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 11 – Should I Stay or Should I Go**

"Okay, so maybe we can do it on a Friday night…wait, I think Emmett has people coming over to watch a game Friday…how about Saturday…hmmm…well, we could even go out during the week. I mean, it's just dinner right? A Thursday would work, too…"

"Rosalie, do you actually need me for this conversation?" Bella asked in exasperation.

Right after lunch Bella had received a text message from Rosalie stating that she needed to speak to her about something urgent. Bella held off calling until the last recess of the day, only to find out that Rosalie was trying to fix her up with one of her co-workers.

A few weeks ago _Derek_ had been looking at the slideshow of pictures that doubled as Rosalie's computer screensaver and had expressed interest in Bella when he saw a photo of her flash across the monitor. Rosalie had been trying to set them up ever since.

"Oh, come on, Bella. You cannot pass this one up. He is a living dream," Rosalie pressed.

"You say that about every guy you want me to go out with," Bella said dryly. "I don't understand why you're not hearing me. I don't want to go out with anybody. I'm in a really good place right now and I'd just like to enjoy it for a while. When I feel that itch to start dating, I'll let you know."

"You know when you're going to feel that itch to start dating? When there's no one good enough to scratch it within a 100-mile radius. Seriously, Bella, romance is all about opportunities. You have to grab it while you can. If you sit around and wait for the perfect time and perfect scenario, you're going to be alone for the rest of your life."

Bella sighed. "Don't be so over dramatic. I'm not going to be alone forever, but I am going to end this phone call because I've got to go round up a bunch of five-year-olds."

"Well, I'll see you tonight, right? Did Alice call you about pizza night?" Rosalie asked.

"Oh…right. Pizza night." Bella was less than enthused to be considering a night out of the house on a school night. "How long does that usually last?"

"Just a couple hours. We do it all the time. It's fun."

"And I have to bring a pizza?"

"Yeah. Any kind you want. We like a variety."

"I don't want to be a third wheel. It's all couples," balked Bella.

"It's not like that. Besides, Edward and his kid are going to be there," Rosalie said.

"Edward's going to be there?" Bella asked; then, realizing how her question might be construed, she quickly added, "Oh, well having Anthony there won't make it feel so 'coupley'.

"Exactly. But if you're worried about being a third wheel, I could invite Derek. He's in town all month."

"Goodbye, Rosalie," Bella said quickly as she hung up her phone.

As Bella watched Anthony file into the classroom with the rest of the class, she questioned the newfound excitement within her at the prospect of going to Alice and Jasper's for pizza that night.

_Surely it's just because I'm happy to see Anthony get a warm meal. Edward can't cook, and all._

But later that evening, as she stood in front of her closet trying to find the perfect outfit to wear, she had to admit to herself that her self-consciousness didn't have all that much to do with Anthony.

"What woman doesn't want to be considered attractive?" she justified as she pulled on a pair of jeans that she rarely wore. On an infrequent shopping trip into the city, a sales girl had assured her that she looked "simply amazing" in the deep indigo denim.

A muted floral peasant top rounded out the ensemble, but as Bella took a sip of her iced coffee before she stepped out of her apartment, she dribbled down the front of her blouse and had to settle for a v-neck jersey knit.

Bella tried to downplay her interest in her wardrobe and validate her excitement that Edward and Anthony were attending pizza night, but as she pretended not to search for Edward's car when she pulled into the driveway at the Brandon-Whitlock residence, she silently assessed whether or not she had been honest with Rosalie earlier on the phone.

Did she really like being alone, or was it an excuse to make her present relationship status, or lack thereof, acceptable?

Bella immediately shook the thought off. Dating just wasn't in the cards for her right now. She had finally begun her career, and it was important to focus on that right now and not get ensnared in romantic entanglements.

And moments later, when she stood on the porch straightening her clothing while balancing her pizza in one hand, she told herself that she wanted to look presentable to _all_ of her near-present company, and not just one individual in particular.

Bella smoothed the creases from her jeans as she stood on the porch. As her hand hung suspended in mid-air in preparation of knocking, Bella heard voices wafting through the screen door. She hesitated to interrupt their conversation – and regretted it for the entire evening.

"Vicki?" Alice screeched. "Oh tell me he didn't get back with her!"

"Why would that be so bad? From what I remember, you liked her."

"I didn't _like_ her. I just thought Edward could do worse…at the time," Alice explained. "But now…well, I think he's better suited for someone else."

Jasper's laugh traveled through the air. "I bet you think you know something I don't."

"What do you mean? What do you know?"

"What do _you_ know?"

_Vicki? Who is Vicki, and more importantly, who is she to Edward?_

Bella swallowed hard as she interrupted their conversation with a firm knock on the wood casing. She was slightly disturbed, not only by the words she'd heard, but also by the way they made her feel.

"Bella!" Alice swung the door wider than necessary as she opened it to greet Bella. "Right on time."

"Are you sure I'm not early? I didn't see any other cars," Bella gestured at the street behind her.

"Oh, they'll be here. Edward had to pick up Anthony from daycare and Emmett and Rosalie are never on time to anything," Alice prattled.

"Hi, Bella," Jasper said, his nod a reminder that they'd met previously. He leaned against the counter and appraised her, as if he was making a mental comparison.

"So…" Bella set her pizza down on a nearby counter before turning to face Alice. "How many people are you expecting? I can't remember how many people you said usually attend."

"Just a few of us. Six or so," Alice answered vaguely.

Bella leaned nearer to Alice and lowered her voice, "Was I supposed to bring someone with me?"

"No!" Both Alice and Jasper exclaimed in unison. It was then that Bella noticed that Jasper had been straining to hear what she'd said.

_So, no plus one. Did that mean no Vicki?_ Bella tried to squelch the feeling of inadequacy she felt at the hand of a woman she didn't even know.

Instead, of focus on herself and the ambiguous feelings, Bella turned her attention to Alice and a confusing story she was telling about two co-workers engaged in a torrid affair. However, the he-said, she-said was getting to be too much, and just when Bella was about to admit that she had no idea what Alice was talking about, Rosalie and Emmett sounded their arrival.

"That is the last time I go to Pacific Pizza," Rosalie huffed as she pulled off her coat. "Everytime I go there, they have some half-trained nit-wit behind the counter that doesn't know his butt from a hole in the ground. I had to wait over a half an hour for them to get my pizza right."

"Rosalie, it wasn't the kid's fault that you changed your mind a million times. You confused him. Hell, even I didn't know what pizza we were getting," Emmett said as he rolled his eyes.

Rosalie looked betrayed for a split second before her eyes landed upon Bella. Then she lit up as she crossed the kitchen and grabbed Bella by the forearm.

"I need to show you something," she said excitedly as she hauled her towards the living room.

When Rosalie felt they were safely away from prying eyes and ears, she pulled a paper out of her purse and thrust it in Bella's direction.

"What's this?" Bella asked as she unfolded the sheet of paper.

"It's a copy of an email from Derek. Read it," instructed Rosalie.

Bella looked at Rosalie skeptically for a moment before her eyes washed over the email with little interest.

"Rose, what's the point of this," Bella asked after a brief silence, "it's about sales quotas and real estate meetings."

"Read the P.S.," Rosalie said through a wide grin.

"Why didn't you just say that in the first place?" Bella rolled her eyes and she glanced down at the bottom of the page:

_Has Beautiful Bella agreed to go out with me yet?_

Admittedly, his words of flattery did sit well with Bella, however she was still going to tell Rosalie that she wasn't interested.

But then small hands hugged her above the knees and Edward's rugged voice ripped through the air.

And in a flashing moment, one thought passed through Bella's mind.

_Does this belong to Vicki?_

Bella's pulse increased and her mouth went dry as she contemplated the loss of something she never had.

"Bella, just…go out with him. If for no other reason than to distract yourself from how busy your life is throughout the week. Take care of yourself. Have some fun," Rosalie suggested.

The thought of a distraction suddenly sounded appealing, but not for the same reason Rosalie had supplied.

"Maybe," Bella slightly gave in as she avoided looking at Edward.

"Say yes to a first date. You can say maybe to a second date," Rosalie said. "I'm serious, Bella. You'll regret it if you pass this guy up. Trust me, I know all about these things."

Bella looked down at Anthony as she contemplated what Rosalie was encouraging her to do. Anthony snuggled against Bella as she gently rubbed his back.

"I'm going to be the only one at my soccer game at the park. Can you still come?" Anthony asked her. "I'm being teached how to play."

"You're being _taught_ how to play? Wow, that sounds fun, Anthony," Bella responded in the voice she reserved for her class.

"Can you come watch me?" Anthony asked again.

"When?" Bella asked.

"Saturday."

"I would love to come watch you learn to play soccer. Thank you for inviting me."

Bella looked up to see Rosalie watching her like she was the daftest person on the planet.

"What?" Bella asked her.

"You don't have anything better to do than to watch him kick a ball around? Are you serious?"

"Rosalie," Bella lowered her voice so Anthony wouldn't hear, "have some compassion. You know his situation."

"I also know that you shouldn't let him get that attached. What's going to happen when daddy dearest starts dating?" Rosalie asked.

"You mean _Vicki?_" Bella didn't intentionally coat the word with verbal venom and she hoped Rosalie didn't notice.

"Oh gosh, so it's true? Emmett mentioned something the other day when he ran into her. I was hardly paying attention."

Bella felt a pang of sadness as she ran her hands through Anthony's hair. "Is she nice?" she whispered. As long as she was nice, it would be easier to accept.

_Accept?_

For Anthony. It would be easier to accept the concept of a strange woman if she was nice to Anthony…and Edward.

Surprisingly, Rosalie heard her. "I have no idea. I don't really know her. Anyway, this soccer thing really emphasizes what I was saying. You _need_ to get out there, Bella, instead of wasting precious time doing things that won't benefit you at all."

"If I agree to _one_ date with this Derek guy, will you get off my back about the soccer?" Bella rolled her eyes.

"Yes!" Rosalie clapped her hands delightedly.

Alice peeked out of the kitchen at the sound of the shriek and commanded both women into the kitchen, not to help, but to include her in the gossip.

When Bella turned to walk towards the dining area, she finally allowed her eyes to rest upon Edward. If he hadn't been staring at her at that same moment, she would have allowed her eyes to evaluate him thoroughly.

"Hi." Bella forced a casual smile as she walked past Edward, but all she could think about was the unknown woman that had captured his heart. _What kind of woman turned Edward Cullen's head?_

"Hey," he said in return.

His attention toward her was rather fleeting, as he immediately turned his attention to his son and stopped him from following her into the kitchen. Bella wondered if this had something to do with what Rosalie had mentioned. Now that there was a woman in his life, was Edward attempting to place boundaries for Anthony? Was Bella to be seen as a teacher only and not as a friend? If so, she might have to reconsider the invitation she'd accepted to "soccer training".

But minutes later, Anthony came wandering into the kitchen and Bella wondered if perhaps she was merely reading into things.

As Anthony climbed onto her lap, Bella ignored the questionable look Rosalie was giving her, as well as the combative conversation she and Alice seemed to be having regarding her love life.

Much more interesting was the game of Red Hands that she and Anthony were engaged in. Every time Anthony slapped Bella's hands, which she may or may not have allowed him to do, he let out a glorious chuckle. It was a nice distraction from the tit-for-tat conversation Alice and Rosalie were having, but finally Bella felt she had to intervene or her friends would wind up getting into an argument on her behalf.

"Okay, enough, you two. Alice, I'm sure Derek doesn't look like Shrek, and Rosalie, I've already agreed to go out with him so you can stop reading me his resume already," Bella said, even though she hadn't at all been paying attention to the attributes a la Derek that Rosalie kept spewing forth.

Bella was able to engage in one last cycle of Red Hands before Edward appeared and ordered Anthony off her lap and out of the kitchen.

"Miss Swan said she can come and watch me play soccer, even if it's just me," Anthony told his father in a perky tone.

Instead of acknowledging Anthony's words, Edward, rather harshly, insisted that Anthony come over to him. It was apparent that he wanted him away from Bella, and when Bella tried to make eye contact with Edward to gauge his mood, he wouldn't take her on.

Maybe Rosalie was right. Maybe she was being out of line by agreeing to tag along to the park. After all, Anthony is only a little boy and it isn't up to him if Bella goes, no matter how badly he wants her there.

"Edward, if you had something special planned for the park, I won't go. It just seemed so important to Anthony, so I said I'd go," even as the words left Bella's mouth, her inappropriateness at accepting the invitation in the first place was glaringly apparent. And as she apologized, she realized she was still putting Edward in an awkward position. Now Anthony would be a witness to his father telling her that she couldn't go, despite his son's desires.

But Edward stated the contrary, saying that if Anthony wanted her there, she should go.

Yet he still acted strangely and avoided looking at her for any prolonged period of time. Even after she'd approached him, alone, moments later, he refused to let his guard down, and reiterated that all was fine.

And then he simply walked away from her and went to join everyone else at the table.

"_This is about Anthony,"_ Bella silently reminded herself. Whatever was wrong with Edward would have to remain Edward's problem until he decided to share it with her.

It was a sentiment she had to remind herself of when he tried to bait her into an argument during dinner. She had tried to casually speak to him regarding a job prospect when he had revived an old insult by referring to the letter she'd written him in the beginning of the year – a throwback to a time when they weren't on friendly terms.

A rebuttal insult had been on the tip of Bella's tongue, but she held it. To her knowledge, she hadn't done anything to deserve Edward's behavior and she wasn't about to give him any terms with which to justify himself.

Though she tried to ignore his bitterness, it saddened Bella on many levels. She'd thought that she and Edward had made much progress since the aforementioned letters – she considered him a friend and thought he saw her that way as well; that she was someone he trusted his son with both in school and out.

But as Edward sat among his friends discussing his need for childcare assistance in order to accept a very beneficial job offer, he made it obvious that Bella wasn't even an option for consideration.

The mood turned tense and Bella felt like she was to blame for that. Surely everyone could feel the tension emanating from Edward towards her. After a few brief interactions with Anthony, she took a turn clearing the table, thanked her hosts and then promptly excused herself from the evening.

"_This isn't about Edward. It's about Anthony," _Bella ran the mantra through her mind as she climbed into her truck, willing herself to ignore the fact that Edward hadn't so much as glanced her way, let alone offered her a parting farewell.

She reminded herself again as she lay in bed, awake, wondering about Edward's mood, and the indistinct _Vicki. _

And yet again, on Saturday afternoon, as she arrived at the park, just after noon, to see father and son engaged in a one-sided game of keep-away.

When Anthony spotted Bella sitting on a nearby bench, he stopped what he was doing and wildly waved both hands in her direction. Bella made sure to make a grand display of waving in return.

Edward looked, but didn't speak…or wave.

After a few minutes of watching Edward and Anthony play around, Bella had to admit that what she was doing was a little weird by any stretch of the imagination.

"What am I doing here?" she wondered out loud. She glanced at her watch and wondered what the customary amount of time would be before she could leave without hurting Anthony's feelings. It wasn't that she didn't want to watch him gain confidence in his abilities, or have him grow closer to a father he barely knew, it's just that it didn't feel like something she should be privy to. And as she saw Edward lean down so that he could instruct Anthony at his level, Bella looked away to grant them their own special time.

But Anthony had other ideas entirely.

"Miss Swan! Miss Swan!" he called.

Bella looked up to see that he was waving her over to him. She glanced at Edward to see what his feelings were on her joining them, but he looked indifferent as he stared down at Anthony.

Reluctantly, Bella stood up and made her way across the grassy area.

"Miss Swan, can you be the goalie?" Anthony asked.

"Sure," Bella answered. "What do you want me to do?"

"Just stand down there and block the ball," Edward answered for Anthony with downcast eyes as he pointed toward the chalked area downfield.

"Got it," Bella responded cheerily, her attempt to let Edward know that whatever was wrong on Thursday night was water under the bridge to her.

Edward gave no acknowledgement of Bella's white flag. Instead, he and Anthony backed up several yards so that Edward could instruct his son on how to slowly dribble the ball towards Bella, aka the goalie.

They seemed to far away, and Bella could barely make out Edward's words as he helped Anthony distinguish between his right and left foot. She checked out for a few moments; examining her nails and contemplating a much-needed manicure. Suddenly the ball came whizzing towards her at a high speed and she caught it just before it made contact with her face.

"Aw, Miss Swan! You weren't supposed to catch it! I wanted to make a goal!" Anthony protested.

"Well I wanted to keep my nose, young man," Bella told him. "If I didn't catch your ball, you very well may have knocked my head off. That's how great of a kicker you are!"

Anthony beamed at her glowing assessment of his skills. "Maybe I can make a goalie this time."

"Okay, let's try again," Bella said as she rolled the ball back towards him.

Luckily, Anthony didn't get his foot all the way underneath the ball, so when he kicked it, it rolled very slowly in Bella's direction. It revolved lazily through her legs and she made a big production of bending over and watching as the ball passed behind her. Then she did a somersault in slow motion and landed on her bottom in the grass.

"I think you just scored a goal, Anthony," Bella smiled.

Anthony laughed at the show she'd just put on. "You're so funny, Miss Swan!" Then he turned to his father and announced his score. "I made a goal!"

"I saw that," Edward said, a look of slight amusement on his face. "Although the methods of our goalie might be considered questionable."

"Hey, I got my training during elementary school recess like the best of 'em," Bella said proudly.

Edward laughed then, and Bella felt victorious in her ability to get him to do so.

They stared at one another awkwardly for a few moments before Edward offered Bella his hand and helped her up.

Anthony grew bored of the two adults before him, and soccer, rather quickly. "I'm going to go play on the swings," he pointed.

"Already? No more soccer?" Bella asked. It had barely been twenty minutes.

"I already scored a goal. I won the game," Anthony shrugged. He didn't wait for any more from Bella or Edward before he headed over to hop on a waiting swing.

Bella chuckled to herself as she dusted off the seat of her jeans from where she'd landed on the ground.

"I bet this totally felt like a waste of your time," Edward muttered. "He has the attention span of a flea."

"He's fine," Bella said lightly. "It was important to him that I see him try, so that's why I came."

Edward glanced at her sideways, as if he thought his statement didn't warrant her reaction, but he didn't say anything. He simply stood next to her in silence and they both watched Anthony pump his legs in an effort to make the swing soar through the air.

Bella stole a glance at Edward out of the corner of her eye; his gaze was locked forward and his stance revealed his unease. The navy blue long-sleeved thermal he wore clung to his upper torso, and when his chest heaved, Bella anticipated his speech, but he only sighed and offered no more.

"Oh this is ridiculous," Bella finally said, ending the silence.

"What is?" he asked, looking over at her, one eyebrow poised in question.

"This," Bella gestured between the two of them. "Us. Are we arguing about something?"

"No," Edward said indignantly. His discomfort was apparent.

"Well then what's going on?" Bella asked. "Why are you being so…standoffish?"

Edward shrugged.

_At least he didn't deny it._

"Did I do or say something to upset you? Because if I did, then I'm sorry."

"No, you didn't do anything," Edward said as he watched Anthony spin himself around on the swing. "I just…have a lot on my mind."

"Work?"

"Among other things."

Bella simply nodded and didn't press. It was his prerogative to keep his issues to himself. But if he wanted someone to talk to, she wanted him to know that she was available.

"That shift Jasper mentioned sounds really great," she prompted.

Edward interjected a low pshaw. "Of course it does."

"You know if you need help with Anthony you can ask me."

Edward looked over at her then, his first direct gaze of the afternoon. He looked like he was genuinely surprised, and interested, in the offer. But as soon as the emotion touched his face, it disintegrated.

He shook his head and kicked at the loose earth on the ground. "I'm trying to work something out with a friend right now, so…if that works out then maybe I'll put in for the shift change."

"That'd be great," Bella said. "It sounds like a great opportunity. I really hope it works out."

"Yeah," Edward said quietly. He was back to not looking at her again.

Exhausted of trying to figure out the mysterious, brooding man beside her, Bella called Anthony's name and waved at him when he looked in her direction.

"I have to leave now. Thanks for letting me watch you play soccer!" she called to him.

Anthony abandoned his swing and bolted towards Bella.

"You're leaving?" he asked in a disappointed tone.

"We actually have to get going, too," Edward interrupted. "We have some things we need to get done today."

"Sounds like you have a busy day," Bella said to Anthony before lightly tickling him.

"Yeah. We're going to…" He squinted up at Edward, "what are we doing again?"

"We're going to a friend's house for dinner," Edward answered him.

It was the second time Edward had mentioned his elusive friend, and just the way he said the term solidified in Bella's mind that he wasn't just talking about any friend. He was talking about Vicki.

Afterwards, leaving the park was the equivalent of checking another item off the daily to-do list for Bella. She felt the accomplishment of having fulfilled something she said she would do, but the long list of work still to be done in other areas overshadowed what had been completed. And even though they'd made a small amount of progress on the soccer field, Edward was still acting withdrawn, and Bella knew it had something to do with her. Until she had a reasonable explanation of why he was so hot and cold with her, Bella was considering him an "other area" on her relational to-do list.

But symbolic task lists aside; Bella had a real-life list to focus on. The only entertainment Bella had planned for the weekend ended the moment she left the park earlier that afternoon. After that, she had to cram in all the activities she didn't have time for during the week: grocery shopping, bill paying, house cleaning and catching up on email.

While email was a fun way to communicate with far-away friends and family, it also was a bit of a chore for Bella. Her mother insisted upon flooding Bella's inbox with chain letters threatening lifelong bad luck if she didn't forward them to infinity plus one. And then, in the midst of all the nonsense, her mother would send an actual email, followed by two more emails complaining about the fact that Bella hadn't responded to her first email.

As Bella deleted the first six emails from her mother, taking her chances against bad luck, she noticed an unfamiliar address and the subject line, which said: "Rosalie Said You Wouldn't Mind".

Upon clicking the email, Bella saw that it was a short and simple message from Derek:

_Greetings, Bella._

_After our morning sales meeting, Rosalie caught up with me in the break room and said that you had mentioned being open to possibly going out to a movie or for a bite to eat sometime?_

_Please forgive my forwardness in emailing you, but Rosalie was going to do it on my behalf, and I begged her to simply give me your email address. Cut out the middle[wo]man, you know?_

_Perhaps we could talk on the phone and possibly set something up for the near future? I'm in town for the rest of this month. If you're interested in getting together, maybe you'd like to email me your phone number?_

_Hope to hear from you soon._

_Derek K._

After reading the email two more times, Bella couldn't decide if she was irritated with Rosalie or grateful to her for bringing the Derek situation to fruition. It was both enthralling and frightening at the same time – sitting on the brink of something new. Still, Bella wished she could feel more excited at the prospect of meeting this man. But each time she thought about what Derek might look like, her mind kept conjuring up hair the color of fresh cooked marmalade, eyes the color of Washington forests and a jaw line that rivaled the work of Mt. Rushmore. She kept imagining…

"Someone who isn't available," she verbally rebuked herself.

And that was all the motivation she needed to hit reply and respond with seven digits, plus the Forks area code.

Yet as soon as she'd pressed the "send" key, Bella sat on the cusp of an adrenaline rush and an anxiety attack. It had been so long since she'd immersed herself blindly into the dating world that she couldn't remember if what she was experiencing was normal.

She considered picking up the phone and calling Rosalie, but thought better of it. The idea of listening to Rosalie excitedly gush about the fact that Derek had emailed did not sound appealing to Bella. And Alice had made it all too clear how she felt about the Derek situation. There was no use in calling her to take the edge off.

Bella was still staring at her inbox when the phone rang about an hour before she had planned to go to bed.

"Wow, he doesn't' waste any time," Bella said aloud. She took two deep breaths to calm her nerves and steady her voice before she picked up the phone and answered in her most professional tone. "Hello?"

"Bella?"

It only took a split second to realize that this wasn't the voice of a stranger.

"Edward?"

"Yeah…is this too late to call?" he asked nervously. "I guess I can call back tomorrow. I just…didn't know if you were busy…"

"No, what's up?" Bella asked. Her heart rate had not yet gotten the memo that she had nothing to be nervous about. She was sure its strident beats translated through the phone line.

"Um…okay…so you know what you said earlier at the park…about helping out with Anthony?"

"Yes."

"Did you mean it?"

"Of course."

"Because I might have to take you up on that."

"You might _have_ to? Gee, Edward. You sure know how to make a girl feel like a last resort."

It was meant to be funny. Humor was what Bella always pulled out when she couldn't find a non-confrontational way to express her feelings.

But Edward wasn't laughing.

"Bella…I think…you're misunderstanding me," Edward said after a short while. "It's not that you weren't my first choice…and trust me, you certainly were Anthony's. It's just that…"

"What?" Bella asked when he ended abruptly with seemingly no plans to finish the thought.

"I just don't want you to feel like all I want from you is…this kind of stuff."

"If I felt that way, I wouldn't have offered. And besides, friends help one another out."

"Is that what we are?"

"Twist the knife, why don't you."

"No, I'm not saying I don't consider you a friend," Edward rushed in. "It's just that…well I don't want Anthony to get in the way of other … relationships."

"Oh," Bella sucked in a breath sharply before silently letting it out. "Is this about Vicki?"

When he responded, Bella almost detected an astonished lilt in Edward's voice. "How'd you know about Vicki?"

So it was true. There _was_ a Vicki. Somehow all of the mental preparation Bella had done for this moment hadn't made a difference. What was that gnawing pain in the back of her throat? Deep in her chest?

"Um, I kind of overheard Alice talking about her the other night," Bella said. "Anyway, I take it she wasn't able to do it?"

"No," Edward said quietly. "And of course Anthony knows you better. But…well…you know."

"Yeah, I know." Bella reflected on the meaning of Edward's words and what he was saying without actually saying it: Vicki held a role in his life that took precedence over his relationship with Bella and Bella's relationship with Anthony. "Was that the problem, then, at pizza night?"

"Well…sort of. I mean…I have to consider your…other…friends, too. I know you have a life, Bella. And the last thing I'd want to do is cause problems for you because you're helping me out."

"What kind of problem can Anthony cause? Please, he's an angel."

"If you're sure that it won't be a bother, then I know that Anthony will be beyond thrilled to spend the extra time with you."

"I'm sure. And I guess this now qualifies me as a crazy person since you'll be dropping Anthony off at my house at five-thirty in the morning?" Bella laughed. She went back to the humor. She needed it desperately at that moment.

This time Edward did laugh. "You need to stop taking everything I say so seriously."

"_I can't help it," _Bella thought_._

"Anyway, I technically haven't gotten the job yet, but Jasper is pretty certain that it's mine for the taking," Edward said.

"That's got to feel good."

"Yeah. It _really_ does."

"Well as soon as it's official, we'll have to go out and celebrate." As soon as the words left her mouth, however, Bella realized what she'd said and she hastened to correct herself. "Um…with Vicki and everyone. We could all go out."

"Uh…yeah. Sounds good."

Commence awkward silence.

"Okay…so let me know as soon as you know the particulars and we'll work out a schedule," Bella said to wind down the phone call.

"Great."

"And Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"For the _last_ time, my letter was not scathing!"

His laughter clawed at the awkwardness and did well to dim the ache in her chest. "Fine. I retract the scathing letter comment."

"Thank you."

"No…Bella, thank _you._ Really. It means a lot to me."

After hanging up the phone, Bella again reminded herself that this was about Anthony. She could rest easy in knowing that he would be safe and happy with someone who cared about him. _So then why did it feel like a partial victory? And why couldn't she stop thinking about Edward? _


	12. Chapter 12 Nightshift

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 12 – Nightshift**

The conversation Edward had had with Vicki two nights ago surfaced to mind as he watched Bella drive away from the park Saturday afternoon.

_"Well as I live and breathe…Edward Cullen!" Vicki had sounded genuinely pleased to hear his voice. _

_After the usual small talk that occurs when two people haven't seen or spoken to one another in a long period of time, Vicki asked the one question Edward still hadn't quite figured out how to answer._

_"So, what's new with you?"_

_Edward laughed. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."_

_"Try me," Vicki taunted. Edward had piqued her interest. _

_"Well, let's see…where to start…I've been working…and getting to know my son," Edward tried to sound casual._

_"I'm sorry, but I think I'm hearing things. For a minute there I thought you said you had a son," Vicki gave a nervous giggle._

_"I'd say your hearing is perfect," Edward stated flatly._

_There was a moment of silence between them and then Vicki became defensive. "I don't know how I'm supposed to take this, Edward. I mean, why did you call me? To tell me the real reason that we broke up was because you got someone else pregnant—"_

_"Whoa, whoa…hey," Edward cut her off. "It's not like that at all. My son, Anthony, is five years old and before you ask me why I never told you about him, it's because I didn't know about him myself."_

_"What?" Vicki asked in disbelief._

_"That's pretty much the same thing I've been asking myself since the day I found out," Edward let out a sigh that masqueraded as a chuckle._

_"So… wait. What exactly happened? Did his mother drop him on your doorstep when she decided she didn't want him anymore? And who is his mother? Do I know her?"_

_Ironically, it took less than ten minutes to tell the story of how a fatal car accident uncovered the mystery of one Anthony David Stanley-Cullen. Edward recapped his drive to Oregon to "rescue" his son from foster care before giving Vicki a brief overview of what his life had looked like since then. _

_"Wow…" Vicki was dumbfounded. "That's too unbelievable to be unbelievable."_

_"Nope, it's true," Edward assured her. "Every word."_

_"Well, how are you coping? How are you managing?"_

_"One day at a time," Edward sighed._

When Anthony had walked into the living room during the phone call in a sleep induced stumble and asked for water, Vicki had heard him in the background and immediately wanted to meet him. She'd invited Edward over for dinner on the weekend, knowing he couldn't cook; but from what Edward could remember, neither could Vicki. Regardless, he'd accepted the invitation to acquaint Anthony with Vicki, and to get reacquainted with her himself.

Since that conversation two evenings ago, Edward had been thinking a lot about his previous relationship with Vicki and what had gone wrong. He couldn't remember any glaring details about why he'd wanted out of the relationship; he'd just remembered that he _had_ wanted out. Fortunately they'd ended things on good terms, which facilitated Edward walking back into her life so easily now.

Perhaps _easy_ wasn't quite the right term. Logistically, yes, things had been simple, but emotionally, Edward couldn't ward off the plaguing feelings of guilt and trepidation that cloaked him like a shroud. He just wished the situation felt more…_right._

And nothing made it feel more wrong than the woman who had driven away less than five minutes ago.

Not wanting to dwell on Bella and her unavailability, Edward refocused his attention on the busy intersection in front of him. Since he'd parked across the street from the park, Edward waited until Anthony had stopped dribbling his soccer ball and had tucked it tightly under his arm before he took his son's hand and stepped off the curb.

As soon as his foot made contact with the asphalt a white sedan that had been parked against the curb suddenly sprung to life and sped off down the street.

"Hey, you fuckin' moron!" Edward yelled after the car. "You're gonna fuckin' run over my kid!" Edward accentuated his outburst with a middle-finger salute, only to look down and see Anthony staring up at him.

"What happened?" he asked with wide eyes.

"Nothing, just people being assholes…" Edward mumbled as he walked Anthony across the street.

"Whatsa asshole?" Anthony asked.

"Shit," Edward whispered. "Anthony, those are Dad- I mean, those are adult words, okay? You're not an adult, so you can't say those words."

"Oh," Anthony nodded as if it were the most reasonable explanation in the world.

"Do you know what an adult is?" Edward asked as he opened the back seat for Anthony to climb in.

"A big year old."

"A _what?_" Edward smiled.

"A big year old…a big person. Like you," Anthony clarified.

"Oh," Edward nodded as he got in the car and buckled his seatbelt. Then he ran the phrase over in his mind again. _Big year old._ And then he started cracking up laughing.

Edward caught Anthony's eye through the rear view mirror and noticed that his son was grinning back at him. And then a tiny chuckle escaped. A sound usually reserved for Bella, it was the first laughter shared between father and son. As Edward merged into traffic, he hoped there would be more occasions - for the sound of Anthony laughing made Edward feel as if he was doing something right.

However, there was no more laughter later that evening when Edward insisted that Anthony take a bath.

"But I'm not dirty," Anthony insisted.

"You are dirty. You were playing in the dirt this morning and you didn't take a bath yesterday. So you're taking a bath," Edward told him as he pulled Anthony's shirt over his head.

"But…why?" Anthony asked when he could think of no other protest.

"Because I'm not taking you to Vicki's house smelling like something that fell off the back of a garbage truck, that's why."

"How come we're going to Vicki's house?"

"Because she wants to meet you."

"Is there going to a be a friend there for me?"

Edward sighed as he looked into Anthony's big green, hopeful eyes. In all of his efforts to create a support system for himself, Edward had completely neglected Anthony's need for companions his own age.

"Not this time, buddy. But maybe you and Vicki will end up being friends," Edward offered. Anthony seemed indifferent to that idea but he got into the bathtub without anymore fuss.

Driving to Vicki's house was like an old habit revisited. Edward remembered the landmarks of the large wagon wheel mailbox and the seasonal banners her neighbor hung to depict every coming holiday. Even Vicki's dated white four-door Nissan seemed to symbolize that time had ceased to affect this section of the world.

When Edward arrived at Vicki's address, he found her standing on the porch of her recently painted duplex, craning her neck to get a good look at Anthony as he let himself out of the car. Edward took a moment to appraise her from his position behind the steering wheel. Her blonde hair, slightly shorter than he remembered it, was perfectly coifed into an asymmetrical bob that accentuated her neck. The tight t-shirt and form fitting skirt accentuated the other areas of her body that she apparently didn't want him to miss.

"Oh my goodness, Eddie, he is a living doll," Vicki said as she hovered over Anthony. "Hi, sweetie," she leaned over to say into his face.

Anthony flinched at her proximity and then looked over to check the normalcy of the situation by the look on his father's face. "Hi," he said so softly that it was almost inaudible.

"Oh, Eddie!" Vicki clasped her hands together as she popped up like a member of a high school spirit squad. "He looks just like you!"

"Poor kid," Edward joked.

"Hardly," Vicki winked and held Edward's gaze for two beats. "C'mon you two. I made something extra special for dinner."

Extra special turned out to be overcooked spaghetti with watered down tomato sauce and a loaf of garlic bread that looked like it had been burnt and scraped. But it was better than Edward could have done, so he didn't complain.

Unfortunately, Anthony did.

"I don't like it," he told Edward.

"Just eat it," Edward told him in as low a tone as he could manage and still sound authoritative.

"Well what about your garlic bread? Do you like garlic bread?" Vicki asked him in an overly sugary tone.

"It's too hard," Anthony said as he picked at the end piece on his plate.

"Oh…sorry," Vicki looked at Edward.

"No, please, don't be." Edward shot Anthony a look of warning before continuing. "He does this all the time. He's just a really picky eater. I can't get him to eat anything at home."

"Well if you don't eat your dinner, you can't have any dessert," Vicki told him with a Mary Poppins lilt to her voice.

Anthony looked back at the spaghetti and then at Edward. "Can I be excused?" The caveat regarding dessert was not enough to tempt him into eating the concoction before looked between Edward and Anthony and attempted to rescue the moment from extreme uncomfortableness.

"Why don't we all excuse ourselves?" she said as she pushed her chair back and stood up. "Edward, would you like some coffee?"

"Uh…sure," he said. He wasn't about to squander anymore of her hospitality. Anthony had done enough of that for the both of them.

Edward and Vicki settled down in the living room and Anthony sat down across from them in obvious boredom.

"Anthony, why don't you go into the den and pick out a nice book to read," Vicki told him.

"I don't know how to read," Anthony responded.

"Well…pick out a book that has nice pictures," Vicki said, obviously trying to get rid of him.

With and exaggerated lack of enthusiasm, Anthony forced himself up from the chair and trudged into the adjoining room and turned on the light.

"He's cute," Vicki smiled at Edward as she came back from the kitchen carrying two cups of coffee. He noticed that when she returned to the couch, she sat down much closer to him. "He seems like a handful though…stubborn."

"He's a lot like me in that way, I guess," Edward said. Maybe he was being overly protective, but it didn't sit well with him that Vicki had already sized Anthony up in such a short period of time. People had made snap decisions about Edward as a child and he remembered how much he'd hated it.

"So, you're just working and taking care of junior?" Vicki asked.

"Yep. Pretty much," Edward nodded.

"Do you ever have time to go out…or anything?" Vicki hinted.

"There hasn't really been time…or a reason to do any of that," Edward said. "I've never really left Anthony with anyone. He's just getting used to me, so…"

"Yeah, but you've got to take care of yourself. You need a break, too," Vicki said.

Edward simply nodded. He _could_ use a break every once in awhile.

"I'm just trying to get him to school and me to work on time these days," Edward said instead. "It's a juggling act."

"I bet," Vicki said, her eyes sliding over Edward's form. "Well…if you ever need any help, just let me know."

"Actually, I'm up for this –"

"Of course my work schedule really limits me," Vicki interrupted.

"At the diner?" Edward asked.

"Oh, didn't I tell you? I don't work there anymore. Stupid boss's daughter was jealous of me and totally framed me. Said I was stealing food or some shit like that. Anyway, I got a better job," Vicki said, her blonde bob swaying as she spoke. "Well, it pays better anyway. But the hours suck…actually, the job itself does too, but it pays the bills."

"Where are you working?"

"I'm working at The Colony. You know that assisted living community on Pine?"

"Oh, yeah. I've heard of that place."

"Right now I'm working Sunday through Thursday from nine at night 'til six in the morning. I have a client right now that is totally a pain in my ass. She wanders at night and flips out on me every time I put her back to bed. I'm seriously considering tying her ass up."

"Sounds… rough," Edward said, though he wasn't sure who it was worse for, Vicki or her client.

"You have no idea," Vicki began. And then she launched into a tirade on working for the elderly and how she's not paid nearly enough for what they expect her to do.

As she was talking, Edward tried to listen for sounds of Anthony, but he heard none.

"I'll be right back. I just need to check on Anthony," Edward said.

"I'm sure he's fine, Eddie," Vicki said.

"Yeah, well…" and Edward continued on to the den.

He found Anthony sitting cross-legged in the middle of the floor staring at a tribal picture of naked women in a National Geographic magazine.

"What are you looking at?" Edward asked as he quickly picked up the magazine and slammed it shut.

"The elephants," Anthony told him.

"Oh."

"Is it time to go home now? I don't like it here."

Edward looked down at his watch and saw that they'd barely been there an hour. "In a little while," he promised.

Anthony's hope visibly deflated as he rested his chin against his fists and stared at the floor. The gnawing pang of guilt resurfaced and Edward realized that he was once again putting his own needs before Anthony's.

"Vicki," Edward said as he led Anthony back into the living room. "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to cut the evening short. Anthony's had a long day and he's tired," Edward said apologetically.

"But we haven't even had dessert yet," Vicki pouted. "And I spent all afternoon baking it for you."

"Um…" Edward racked his brain to come up with a solution that would be suitable for all parties involved. "Well if you'd like to send some home with us…"

"Sure," Vicki looked disappointed. "You'll have to tell me what you thought about it, since I won't get to watch you enjoy it."

Edward rolled his eyes at Vicki's obvious manipulation ploy. But nonetheless, he felt trapped. She _had_ gone through the trouble of making him and Anthony a meal, and Anthony had all but verbally insulted her in his refusal to eat it.

Edward decided that another ten minutes wouldn't kill Anthony, and so he sat down at the table and delved into the chocolate cake that Vicki sat before him.

"And remember, no dessert for you because you didn't eat your dinner," Vicki told Anthony. She turned to Edward, as if Anthony couldn't hear her, "Consistency is the number one rule when it comes to kids. If you say something, you have to follow through on it. We told him he couldn't have dessert if he didn't eat dinner and we have to stick to that."

Edward looked over at Anthony as his eyes welled up with tears, though none fell. He simply sat silently in his chair like a child who'd been placed on a time out.

"Wow, Vicki, this is great, but I can't eat another bite," Edward said as he pushed back from the table. "Do you mind if I take the rest of this home with me? I'd hate to waste it," he said of the cake.

"Oh, sure. Let me get you a piece of tin foil," Vicki said with a large grin. The fact that Edward had enjoyed her cake made her giddy with joy.

Edward grabbed Anthony soon after Vicki gave him his foil-covered package and headed for the door.

"Edward, I mean it. If you need anything…anything at all, please call me. If I'm not working, I'm yours," she said with a coy grin.

Edward nodded and leaned in to kiss Vicki on the cheek, but she turned her head and caught him on the mouth. Luckily, Anthony had headed for the car as soon as the front door had opened and hadn't witnessed the physicality.

"Goodnight," Edward said ineptly as he left to join his son in the car.

As soon as they were down the street and around the corner from Vicki's house, Edward reached over and grabbed the cake that sat on the front passenger seat and handed it back to Anthony.

"It's not that good, but you can have it," Edward said.

Anthony reached up and grabbed the cake, sniffed at it and held it in his lap. He didn't eat it, but he recognized that he could if he wanted to.

Later that night, after Anthony had gone to bed, Edward sat in his favorite chair and surfed through channels to distract his mind from focusing on the fact that the night had been a complete failure.

Truthfully, he wasn't that disappointed that Vicki wasn't going to be able to watch Anthony if Edward was able to change his shift to work the three twelve-hour days. Even though he had always viewed Vicki as eager to help and please, judging by how she'd acted tonight with Anthony, he probably wouldn't be that comfortable in her care.

But apart from that, Edward had wanted to broaden his circle of friends – the number of people he could entrust Anthony with in an emergency or simply go to when he'd reached the end of his rope. So far, Jasper and Alice could offer limited help, but their work schedules kept them from being a major source of aid in any area. And Emmett and Rosalie…forget it. As it was, Edward was the only contact on Anthony's emergency contact sheet at school and it was highly likely that there would come a time when Edward would be unable to get to the school in a timely manner.

And then there was Bella.

Edward exhaled audibly at the thought of her name.

Once again Bella had offered to come to Edward's rescue. He wasn't' sure if it was pride, stupidity or chivalry that kept him from taking her up on her offer to take care of Anthony should his job schedule change. If it was due to pride, it meant that even though he knew deep in his heart that Bella would be the best choice for Anthony, he still wouldn't accept her help because he didn't want to appear weak or needy in her eyes.

If it was stupidity, it meant he didn't want to accept her help because he actually thought there was some possibility that she would ever see him as a suitable partner, an equal; someone who had as much to offer her as she had to offer him. And by not accepting her help, he was somehow leveling the proverbial playing field, should she ever find herself interested in him in the future.

And if he was being chivalrous, it meant that he was going to honor Bella enough to admit that she deserved so much more than what he could burden her with; and that he was brave enough to live his life never knowing what might have been.

But Edward knew he wasn't chivalrous. And he wasn't prideful enough to ignore the affect Bella had on his son. And maybe he could be considered stupid, but not stupid enough to ignore the fact that Bella Swan was the best thing Edward could give to Anthony at this moment, in any capacity, despite what that may or may not mean for Edward in the future.

And so he called Bella.

And, of course, she readily offered to be there for him and Anthony.

And of course, it felt right.

And by comparison, it made the situation with Vicki seem even more out of place and unintended.

So as soon as Edward hung up the phone from talking with Bella, he decided that he was going to make sure that Vicki understood what his intentions were for their present relationship: that he had none. He couldn't presume to know how things would be in the future, but at that moment it was increasingly clear that being anything beyond friends with Vicki just didn't seem _right_. And the sooner he let her know that, the better.

But Vicki contacted Edward first. The next day, at nine o'clock in the morning, Edward was awakened by a woman with a changed heart.

"You gave him cake, didn't you?" she asked with a hint of humor to her voice.

"Of course I gave him cake," Edward stated matter of fact.

"I knew it!" Vicki laughed. "Actually, I don't blame you. I realized, after you left, that I might have come across as too harsh. I just wanted to show you that I could be responsible with kids," she admitted.

"I don't think you're irresponsible, Vicki." Edward sat up in his bed and wiped the sleep out of his eyes. He looked over to see Anthony sleeping soundly on the pillow beside him. "But this is all new to Anthony," he went on. "He hasn't really had that much time to adjust to everything, so I'm not really into all the rules with him. We're still trying to get used to one another. And I don't even know if he likes spaghetti. Maybe I should have found out and told you what he likes beforehand…"

"No, Edward, really. You didn't do anything wrong. I just think I was…trying too hard. I probably should apologize to Anthony. Maybe we could take him to a movie? My treat, of course."

"You don't have to do that," Edward began.

"No, I want to. If you and I are going to be…_friends_, then Anthony has to see me as one, too. I'd like a chance to start over," beseeched Vicki.

Edward again focused on the sleeping child beside him and quickly tried to assess what would be best in this situation: _Would I be doing this for me or for Anthony? Wouldn't Anthony benefit from having more people in his life, instead of less? Vicki only wants to do something nice for Anthony…what kind of father would I be if I didn't let her? And she said she wanted to be friends. What harm is there in that?_

"I have a lot of stuff to do today before I go back to work tomorrow, so a movie wouldn't work today, but maybe we could do something later in the week?" Edward suggested.

"Oh…maybe I could take him out for breakfast and then take him to school in the morning? Start off small," Vicki suggested.

At the mention of school, Edward immediately thought of Bella. And suddenly he felt guilty, as if the school was Bella's domain and Vicki shouldn't be infringing upon it. _Edward, you're being ridiculous._

Quickly he dismissed the feeling as absurd and answered Vicki in the affirmative.

"I'll talk to Anthony when he wakes up, but I'm sure he'll be thrilled about it," Edward said. As he spoke, he heard Vicki sigh in relief on the other end of the phone line.

Unfortunately, Edward was so focused on whether or not he would be offered the new overtime schedule the next day at work, that he completely forgot to tell Anthony about Vicki taking him to school the next morning. In fact, it wasn't until Anthony mentioned the classmate that he usually rode to school with that Edward's memory was jogged.

"Oh, that's right, I have to call Taylor's mom and let her know that I won't be dropping you off at her house in the morning," Edward told Anthony.

"Why not?" Anthony asked.

"Because Vicki is going to come over tomorrow and take you to breakfast and then take you to school. Doesn't that sound like fun?" Edward asked.

"No," Anthony's face fell into a frown. "I think Vicki is mean."

"Well…I think Vicki thought she was a little…mean, too. So now she wants to show you how nice she can be. What do you think?"

Anthony shrugged. "What kind of breakfast?"

"I think she's going to let you pick."

"Okay." But Anthony didn't sound convinced.

And he didn't _act_ convinced the next morning when Vicki arrived promptly at seven a.m.

"Rise and shine, Cullen men," she said once Edward had opened the door to her.

"Ugh," Edward grunted in response and retreated to his bedroom to finish getting ready for work. He didn't understand why Vicki didn't remember that he wasn't a morning person.

Anthony was already sitting at the table, dressed and ready to go. Well, ready, according to Edward and Anthony's standards. Vicki had other ideas.

"Anthony, honey, come here and let me fix your hair a little bit," Vicki said.

"But I fixed it already," Anthony told her. He patted the sides as if to emphasize his point.

Vicki let out a little chuckle for a joke that apparently she was the only one privy to, before digging through her purse and producing a small tube of hair gel.

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon," she told Anthony. "We don't want to be late, or we won't be able to get anything for breakfast."

Edward walked into the kitchen just as Anthony began to wail and complain about the spiky hairdo Vicki had given him.

"I think it looks nice," Edward told his son, even though he silently thought that no five-year-old had any business having that much product in his hair.

"Well I don't like it," Anthony said.

"Anthony, I'm beginning to think that you don't like anything," Vicki told him. "But you know what? We're not going to be one of those little boys who cries and complains about everything, are we?"

Anthony looked down at his feet as if he'd been admonished for a wayward deed.

"Hey," Edward bent down next to Anthony, "have fun at breakfast and tell Miss Swan that I said hello, okay?"

Anthony nodded.

"Who's Miss Swan?" Vicki asked.

"My teacher," Anthony answered.

"Aww, that's so sweet," Vicki cooed. "Well, I bet Miss Swan will like your hair. I bet she'll think you look handsome."

Edward noticed the frown fade from his son's face and he could have sworn that Anthony stood up a little taller at the mention of Miss Swan.

And that knowledge made him feel a little bit better as he watched Anthony climb into the backseat of Vicki's car.


	13. Chapter 13 Side of the Road

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 13 – Side of the Road**

What an excellent way to start the day. First, Bella's power had gone off momentarily when a small surge in the apartment complex's electrical unit had overloaded the system. At first glance, it wasn't a big issue. Once the breakers were reset, power was restored to everyone within minutes. However, this occurred at 2 A.M. So when Bella woke up, almost two hours later than her usual time, it was only because the only alarm clock with a battery backup, the one on the other side of her bedroom, was faintly bleating a sound that she wasn't accustomed to waking up to.

"Shit!" Bella exclaimed as she threw back the blankets and leapt out of bed. So frantic was she to get things done quickly that she found herself running around in circles, getting nothing accomplished.

With her toothbrush protruding aimlessly from her mouth, Bella reset the coffee machine before running into the bathroom to start her shower.

It was the quickest shower in Bella Swan history. She didn't even have time to wash her hair. It looked dull and stale under the bathroom lighting, but without time to do much more, Bella wound her hair back into a ponytail before hastening to the kitchen.

"Coffee, coffee. I need coffee," she chanted as she filled up her cup. She succeeded in burning her tongue as she guzzled the hot beverage in an attempt to get the caffeine flowing through her system.

Somewhere in the midst of her crazy morning, Bella focused on the fact that she'd promised Derek that she'd meet him for drinks later that evening. Not that she drank, but it was less formal than dinner, and she wanted to get a read on this guy before she committed to spending two hours or more with him – regardless of how much Rosalie seemed to like him. However, if her day progressed in much the same way as her morning had, Bella was sure she wouldn't be seeing much of Derek that evening.

And it quickly became apparent that that was exactly the direction things were headed.

The navy blue pants and nautical print sweater that she'd planned to wear was still draped neatly over the ironing board where she'd left it. However, on her way to retrieve the garments, she stumbled on the strap from her purse and spilled coffee all over her cream colored sweater.

"Fuck!"

But there was no time for a hissy fit. The clock disclosed that Bella had less than forty minutes to get dressed and get to school if she was going to make it on time.

Quickly she seized a pair of black pants and the first shirt her hands touched, slipped on a pair of black flats and grabbed her purse before flying through her front door, barely taking the time to close and lock it.

She hopped into her truck and turned the key in the ignition.

Nothing happened.

"No…no…no!" Bella beat the steering wheel as she tried again. The truck remained silent, save for a distinct clicking sound each time she turned the key.

With a heavy sigh, Bella admitted defeat and dragged herself back into her apartment to call the school.

"Vivian," Bella spoke when the school secretary answered the phone. "Can someone take my class for a few minutes? I'm going to be late. My truck won't start and I need to call a cab."

The cab took a monumental amount of time to arrive, and by the time Bella reached the school, her class had completed the Pledge of Allegiance and was halfway through the first assignment in her lesson plan.

"Thank you," Bella smiled at Lisa Mick, the Vice Principal, who had offered to work in Bella's classroom until she arrived.

Lisa's return smile faltered for a moment as she glanced at Bella's shirt. As Lisa silently made her exit, Bella happened a glimpse down at her shirt before letting out a strangled cry. Her black bra showed like a neon road sign on a dark night through her thin, pale shirt. Bella hurried to her desk and pulled out the thick, brown sweater that she kept housed in her bottom drawer. Quickly she pulled on the sweater that she reserved for her days at yard duty, and buttoned it as high as it would go.

Not long after, Anthony appeared at her desk before her.

"Miss Swan?" he asked.

Bella looked up at him. "Anthony, are you alright?"

"I don't feel comfortable," he articulated.

Bella looked momentarily worried. "Do you have a tummy ache? Do you feel sick?"

Anthony shook his head. "I just don't feel comfortable," he reiterated.

Bella sat back and looked at him, for the first time noticing that his hair looked different than it usually did.

"Anthony, did you get a haircut?" she asked. She wondered if maybe his classmates had noticed and he didn't like the attention.

"No," he shook his head. "But I don't like my hair."

"Is that why you don't feel comfortable?" Bella asked, visually noting the extreme amount of hair gel Anthony wore.

Anthony simply shrugged in response to the question.

"Would you like to get a drink of water? Do you think that might make you feel better?" Bella asked as she touched the back of her hand to Anthony's cheeks and forehead. He didn't feel any warmer than normal.

"Okay," Anthony agreed

"And Anthony?" Bella lowered her voice. "Next time will you remember to wait until I call on you before you get out of your seat?"

"Uh-huh," Anthony nodded.

Bella smiled conspiratorially at him. "Okay. Go ahead." She nodded toward the drinking fountain at the back of the classroom.

Anthony got his drink before returning quickly to his seat.

Halloween was quickly approaching, so Bella set her class to work on an art project: a pumpkin and bat chain that would help them count down toward the holiday.

After all of the components of the project were passed out, and the directions clearly stated, Bella sat down and watched her class work. She marveled at how her class displayed their individuality, even at such a young age. Some attacked the edges of their paper bats with scissors. Others marked pumpkins heavily with color crayons, while others went the path of least resistance and simply glued as many objects together as possible.

And then, Bella's eyes landed upon Anthony.

Unlike the other children, he wasn't very engaged in the project. He stopped every few seconds to tug at his ears and neck. When he started scratching his head every few seconds, Bella called him back up to her desk.

"Anthony, what's wrong?" Bella asked as she started to inspect him.

"I'm itchy," he whined.

Bella turned Anthony around to look at the back of his ears and neck and saw that in the short period of time since he'd first approached her, he'd developed a very red and very raised rash. It colored a path from over and behind his ears to the back of his neck. Bella took a gander at Anthony's scalp and saw that it looked irritated as well.

"I think you're allergic to your hair gel," Bella stated more to herself than to Anthony.

Since it was against school policy to have rash-bearing children at school, Bella pulled out her phone to call Edward.

"Um, yeah?" Edward seemed distracted minutes later when he answered the phone.

"Hi, Edward. It's Bella. I have Anthony here and he has a rash all over his neck and it looks like it's getting worse. He's pretty miserable…" Bella left it to Edward to infer what needed to happen.

"A rash?" Edward asked.

"Yeah. I'm not sure, but…it might be his hair gel?" Bella questioned instead of stated.

Edward let out a low groan. "Okay. I have a meeting later this morning. I'll…see what I can do to get him. He has to go home, right?"

"Yeah. Since he's got a visible rash," Bella said solemnly. She felt bad, knowing how hard it was for Edward to leave work, but also knowing that Anthony really needed to be tended to – and quick. "I'm sorry, Edward."

"No, it's okay. I'll…work it out," he sighed.

While Bella waited for Anthony to be retrieved, she wet a few paper towels and began wiping down his neck and ears.

"That feels better," Anthony told her as she worked. But the rash wasn't going away and his scalp seemed to be getting redder by the minute.

When Anthony's scratching and complaining became a distraction for the rest of the class, Bella began gathering up Anthony's belongings in preparation of sending him to the office. She glanced at the clock and noted that it was possible Edward would be there any moment.

As soon as she had that thought, her classroom door opened and in walked Vivian, the school secretary, followed by a tall blonde woman.

"Did you call Anthony's father?" Vivian asked.

"Yes. Anthony's got a horrible rash on his neck and he's miserable," Bella answered. As she spoke, she watched the blonde woman she didn't recognize walk over to Anthony and began to inspect him.

Bella looked over at Vivian quizzically. _Who is that?_ She mouthed.

"She said she's here to pick up Anthony," Vivian answered as if Bella had verbally stated the question.

"Does she have a note or something? Who is she?" Bella asked as she began to walk toward Anthony and the stranger.

"You'll do anything to get out of having your hair styled, won't you?" the woman was telling Anthony as Bella walked up.

"Are you here to pick up Anthony?" Bella asked her.

"Yeah. He's with me," the lady smiled widely. "Do I need to sign him out or something?"

"Well…yes, but I don't have anyone on Anthony's authorized release form except for his father, and when I talked to him, he gave no indication that anyone else was coming to pick up his son," Bella explained.

"Edward called me and asked if I'd come get him. He's working," the woman nodded.

"Yes, but unless I hear from Edward, or have a note, I can't release Anthony to you," Bella said.

The blonde woman narrowed her eyes at Bella. "This is absurd. I dropped him off here this morning. What's the difference?"

While Bella looked over at Vivian for assistance in explaining the policy, the woman before them whipped out her phone and began dialing.

"Edward," she said animatedly when she had him on the line. "They won't let me take Anthony. Something about authorized release forms….yeah…uh-huh…" the blonde woman shot Bella a sideways glance before holding out her phone toward her. "Anthony's father wants to talk to you."

Bella accepted the phone, noting the amount of dried and caked up makeup lodged between the number keys.

"Edward?" Bella asked. _I know who Anthony's father is, too, bitch._

_Oh my goodness! Where did that come from?_

"Yeah, Bella. Sorry I didn't call first. Vicki is picking up Anthony. I'm in that meeting I told you about."

"_The_ meeting?" Bella asked, for a moment dropping her guard and letting her enthusiasm show through.

"Yeah," Edward whispered.

"How's it going? Does it seem like it's going to work out?"

"So far so good."

"Call me as soon as you know-"

Bella's request was interrupted by a throat being cleared loudly and she looked up to see Vicki icily eyeing her, one eyebrow raised.

"What's Vicki's last name?" Bella asked as she stared back at Vicki.

"Gates," Edward answered. "Are we good? Because I have to get going."

"Yeah. Thanks." Bella closed the phone and handed it back to Vicki.

"Can we go now?" Vicki asked in irritation.

"Sure," Bella nodded. "As soon as I see your photo ID."

Vicki rolled her eyes as she fished around in her overstuffed purse before producing her driver's license.

Bella looked glanced at the picture and the name and…_Hmm twenty-seven. And 108lbs? On what planet?_

Instead of verbally acknowledging Vicki, Bella turned to Anthony and smiled. "Okay, buddy, do you have everything?"

Anthony nodded and pointed to his backpack.

"He might just need his hair washed," Bella said, as she slowly looked over at Vicki. "I think he might be allergic to the hair gel."

Again Vicki rolled her eyes. "It's not the hair gel. It's hypoallergenic."

Bella was about to tell Vicki that the term 'hypoallergenic' didn't actually mean anything and was just a marketing ploy of the advertising industry to cause people to shell out a few extra dollars for something they thought was more chemically pure.

However, the realization that Vicki was the one that had actually _put_ the gel in Anthony's hair took precedence over the marketing myth.

_Why was Vicki getting Anthony ready for school? Did he spend the night at her house…or did Vicki spend the night at Edward's?_

"It's not my business," Bella muttered to herself. After all, she'd known about Vicki. She'd overheard Jasper and Alice talking about her, and Edward had mentioned her himself. So why was the thought of Vicki rubbing her raw just now?

"You know I could have handled that in the office," Vivian stated softly. "I just came in here to get Anthony. I wouldn't have let him go with her without calling his dad once I saw that her name wasn't on his emergency card."

But Bella wasn't paying any attention to Vivian. Her eyes were fixed on the departing stilettos of Vicki and one very sad looking little boy.

During her lunch, Bella was still bothered by the fleeting look that Anthony had tossed her over his shoulder as he'd left the classroom. It looked like he didn't want to go with Vicki – like he'd wanted Bella to tell him that he couldn't go.

Or maybe it was Bella's own self-conscious trying to preserve the feelings of attachment she'd developed for Anthony. She'd grown so accustomed to helping Edward with Anthony that she was just then realizing that she now needed to be a part of Anthony's life as much as Edward needed her to be.

What would her role look like now that Vicki was obviously such an active participant in both Edward and Anthony's life?

Luckily, Bella's cell phone rang and interrupted the melancholy path her thoughts were taking. For a split second, Bella was hopeful that it would be Edward calling to tell her that he'd gotten the new shift and that Anthony would be at her house bright and early next week. But the telephone number on her display was not Edward's. In fact, she didn't recognize it at all.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Bella? It's Derek."

"Oh, hi!" she said with forced enthusiasm.

"How are you?"

"I could be better. Did you get my message?" Bella felt like a coward, but she'd broke the news of her car trouble to Derek in a text message on her way to school by way of the taxi. Of course it would have been better to call, but she hadn't corresponded much with Derek over the phone. In fact, this would be the very first time she'd actually spoken to Derek over the phone. All of their phone calls had resulted in leaving voicemail messages for one another – the proverbial phone tag. And it didn't seem right that their first phone conversation would be about her defunct vehicle. But as fate would have it…

"Yes, I got your message. Car trouble," Derek let out a laugh that sounded like it had been practiced. "You know, I know a really great mechanic in your area. Maybe I should put in a call on your behalf."

"Really?" Bella asked.

Bella hated dealing with car problems and she especially hated dealing with mechanics. She always felt disadvantaged by her lack of knowledge of all things automotive. When she'd lived at home with her parents, she'd always deferred to her father to take care of her car maintenance. No one ever tried to get anything over on Charlie Swan.

But here in Forks, Bella was on her own. And it sounded great to have a potential ally in a mechanic.

"Yeah. I know a lot of people," Derek let out a soft chuckle. "What do you drive?"

"A 2007 Toyota Tundra," Bella answered.

"A truck?" Derek let out a low whistle. "Gotta love a woman who commands the road."

Bella didn't know what to do with that statement, so she just slightly laughed. "I'm surprised it's giving me trouble, but I went out to start it this morning and it wouldn't start."

"It's probably just your battery. You should have your neighbor give you a jump start," Derek suggested.

"The battery? You think that's all it is?" Bella was hopeful. A dead battery sounded less daunting, and far less expensive than a host of other issues that could have gone wrong.

"That's always what it is when the car won't start," Derek answered. "You should get a jump, and then drive over and get a new battery and have it installed."

And that is exactly what Bella did. As soon as the taxi had dropped her off in front of her apartment, she'd gone into the management office and beseeched a young maintenance worker to help her get her truck started.

It didn't take long for the procedure to resurrect Bella's truck and as soon as the jumper cables were removed she hopped behind the wheel and sped off to Eagle Repair and Towing. She was able to purchase a new battery and have it installed without any difficulty. Less than an hour later, she was on her way home, singing Derek's praises the entire way.

After waiting patiently for a white sedan to pull out of her way so that she could park in her designated parking space, Bella rushed inside her apartment to check her phone messages. She was anxious to see if she had one from Edward letting her know whether or not he'd gotten the new shift at work.

The only message she had was an automated call from her bank letting her know that they were now offering insurance services.

She contemplated calling Edward and asking, but then thought better of it. After all, if everything had gone well, then he might have been celebrating with Vicki. _Perish the thought._

However, if things had gone wrong, then maybe he wasn't in the mood to talk about it. And Bella certainly didn't want to force him to focus on something he might be trying to forget about at the moment.

So instead, Bella called Derek to thank him for steering her in the right direction with his car advice and to let him know that since her truck was back on the road, she was ready to reschedule that "appointment" with him that she'd had to cancel.

Unfortunately, Bella once again got Derek's voicemail. Instead of leaving a detailed message, she simply thanked him for his information and left it at that. Then she phoned Rosalie to give her the heads up that she still hadn't yet met up with Derek so that Rosalie would ask him about it at their next sales meeting.

"Yeah, he told me," Rosalie said when Bella had gotten her on the phone. "He asked me if I think you don't want to go out with him."

"No, that's not it," Bella insisted. "My truck wouldn't start. What was I supposed to do?"

"That's what I told him," Rosalie spoke rapidly. "Anyway, truck or no truck, we're going out Saturday night. Remember, I told you about the Alder Wood Bistro? Well Alice's friend got us a limo for the night and we're going to party is style. I already told Derek about it, so you already have a date."

"Thanks for sucking all of the romance out of the night," Bella rolled her eyes.

"What? You don't want him to take you?"

"Maybe I wanted _him_ to ask me. Now it's like some business arrangement or something," Bella explained.

"Hey, you had your chance, and you blew it. I'm just trying to help you. If he thinks you aren't interested, he might move on. And trust me, this one is a good catch."

"So you've said," Bella stated flatly as she removed a piece of lint from her sweater. "Fine. Saturday night."

Bella wondered if Rosalie would call her on her lack of enthrallment, but Rosalie started talking about dresses, purses and must-have shoes. Bella allowed her to prattle on for twenty minutes before she kindly excused herself under the guise of needing to grade papers. Luckily Rosalie didn't know what little effort it took to grade eighteen trace-n-writes of the letter "l".

There was no word from Edward that night so Bella assumed the worst. And when she saw Anthony enter the classroom the next day, her heart ached a little at the good fortune that had skipped over his father once again.

"Hi, Miss Swan!" Anthony waved at her excitedly. "I'm not itchy anymore."

That's when Bella noticed that Edward had entered the classroom behind Anthony and was directing his son toward her.

"Edward, what's wrong?" Bella stood and met him in the middle of the classroom.

Edward looked at her quizzically. "Nothing. Why?"

"Well, for starters, you're here, and not at work," Bella told him.

Edward simply pointed at Anthony. "I wasn't sure if you had to clear him since he went home yesterday with a rash."

"Oh. Right." Bella looked at Anthony's squeaky-clean neck and scalp. This time she was certain the little boy _had_ gotten a haircut. "Looks good."

"And I probably should change that emergency card. Do I need to do that with you or in the office?" Edward asked.

"Uh…I have it here. I'll just make a copy for the office." Bella's thoughts were wrapped around the fact that Edward was most likely adding Vicki to the list of people authorized to pick up Anthony.

And sure enough, that's exactly what he did. The act seemed so permanent; an indicator that Vicki would be around for a while.

Bella was snapped from her thoughts when Edward stuttered out his next sentence. "So…should I put you on here too, since you're going to be taking Anthony home three nights a week?"

"Oh, yeah," Bella tried to seem casual, but internally she was dancing a victory dance. _She was going on the card, too!_ Because she was taking Anthony home…_wait…What?_

Bella looked over at Edward to see that he was watching her with a telling grin on his face.

"You got the shift!" she squealed before launching herself into his arms. "Oh Edward, that's so great!" her voice was muffled due to her face being nuzzled against his neck.

"Yeah," Edward laughed as he hugged her back.

And it wasn't an awkward hug. It was sincere and heartfelt and firm and enveloping and…mutual. And it went on longer than it should have.

Bella backed up suddenly and tried to appear as if she hadn't just laid her chest up against Edward's for an inappropriate amount of time. "That's so great, Edward," she said as she smoothed her hair down. "When do you start?"

"Monday," Edward answered, his penetrating eyes searching hers for a hint of an issue. "Is that okay? Do you need more notice?"

"No," Bella shook her head. "So…you'll drop him off at five-thirty each morning?"

"Monday through Wednesday, yeah," Edward nodded.

"That is such a sweet shift. I wish I only had to work three days a week," Bella told him.

Edward looked genuinely excited as he smiled back at her. "Just don't forget that I'm working twelve hour days. That's almost twice as long as you spend here each day."

"Four days off in a row more than makes up for that," Bella teased.

"We'll see," Edward said, but it didn't look like he required that much convincing.

For the rest of the day, Bella found herself beaming with pride and happiness. At first she'd thought it was just a feeling, but then a few of the other teachers had commented on how cheerful she looked and it took no major analysis on Bella's part to figure out that it had everything to do with Edward. Finally something had gone right for her friend. He was going to get a boost in pay, Anthony was going to get to spend more time with his father and Bella was going to get to spend more time with Anthony….and Edward.

Bella quickly suppressed the latter thought. For while Edward was someone whose company she enjoyed, he had a Vicki. And if Rosalie had her way, Bella would have a Derek. And even though they were only friends, there was a nagging feeling at the tip of Bella's conscience that told her that there wasn't room in her life for both.

Despite that thought, the happiness hadn't dissipated when Bella bid her class adieu and left the school for the day. The feeling accompanied her home as she made a quick pit stop to change her clothes before leaving again to run a few errands. It was still present at the post office, where Bella paused to mail a birthday present to her father.

However, there, between a completed task at the post office and an impending one at the grocery store, is where Bella's joy subsided.

Once again, her truck wouldn't start.

"You have got to be kidding me," she muttered as she stared up at the dome interior within the cab of her truck.

A call to her roadside assistance company revealed that Bella would most likely be sitting stationary for two hours, at the earliest, before someone could come to tow her car the six miles it would take to get home. The sun was already sagging into the terrain and in a very short time, it would be dark. Walking wasn't an option, nor was leaving her truck abandoned in the parking lot.

It wasn't quite a feeling of panic, but anxiety and despair began to well up inside of Bella as she realized that the issue with her truck wasn't as simple as she'd once thought. When she considered the time and money she'd have to expend to diagnose and fix her vehicle, Bella fought hard against the blanket of hopelessness that threatened to encapsulate her.

Not wanting to sit dormant with her negative thoughts, Bella called up Rosalie's number on her phone and hit send. Rosalie lived nearby and though Bella doubted Rosalie would be able to assist her in jump-starting her truck, she would most likely come and sit with her until they figured out what to do.

Rosalie would do that, that is, if she had answered her phone.

Though Bella had never had cause to call Rosalie at her home number, she did, in fact, possess it. Desperate for the assistance and comfort of a friend, Bella dialed the non-familiar numbers and waited impatiently for her friend to pick up.

When a man answered, Bella almost hung up, surmising that she'd called the wrong number.

"Hello?" the man asked again. He seemed to be annoyed. "Rose, is that you?"

"Emmett?" Bella asked quietly. "Is Rosalie home?" Of course, Bella knew she wasn't before she even asked.

"No," Emmett confirmed. "Who's this?"

"This is Bella-"

"Bella," Emmett said much too eagerly for their very first telephone interaction. "What's up?"

"Actually…I was hoping Rosalie could come help me. I was on my way to the grocery store when my car died."

"Your car died?" he repeated. "Where are you?"

"In the parking lot of the post office. I was on my way to the grocery store," Bella explained. She heard Emmett repeating what she'd said to someone else in the background. "I'm sorry, Emmett, did you say Rosalie _was_ home?"

"Okay, we'll come get you," Emmett said hastily.

"What? Um…okay?" Bella stammered. She hadn't really expected Emmett to come retrieve her. After all, most of what she knew of him had been from the stories she'd heard from Rosalie or the two brief encounters she'd had with him at Alice's house. It would certainly be awkward to be alone in his presence.

Though, granted, it would still be better than being alone.

So Bella waited.

To make the most of her time, Bella sorted the receipts in her purse, put her cash in denominational order and eliminated a few items from her now useless grocery list. She was just about to embark upon a quick game of Tetris via her mobile phone when a car pulled up alongside her truck.

She recognized that car.

It was Edward's car.

It took Bella a moment to realize that Emmett was not present at all, but Edward was there in his stead.

"Dead battery?" Edward asked as he rounded his car and came toward Bella, who was now waiting in the cool evening air beside her truck.

"I guess. Although I just bought a new one two days ago," Bella said.

Edward nodded as he dug around in his trunk before producing a set of jumper cables. "Can you pop your hood?"

Bella readily complied and looked on as Edward connected their batteries with clamps, a process she was growing exceedingly knowledgeable of.

A soft rapping on the backseat window in Edward's car alerted Bella of Anthony's presence and she quickly opened his door to free him.

"I get to see you again today," Anthony said excitedly as he bounded before Bella.

"I know!" Bella returned his exuberance. "I hope I didn't interrupt your dinner."

"No. Just a soccer game on TV," Anthony revealed. "I didn't have dinner yet."

"It was football on TV and you didn't have dinner because you refused to eat the sausage Emmett gave you," Edward corrected right before he turned the key and fired up Bella's truck.

Anthony shot a forlorn glance in Bella's direction. "It looked yucky and it smelled funny."

"Well I didn't have dinner yet, either. I was on my way to the grocery store when my truck decided it didn't want to go anymore," she told Anthony.

Edward disconnected the cables before coming to stand side by side with Bella. He waited to speak until she'd completed her explanation to Anthony. "Do you want the good news or the bad news?" he asked.

Bella grimaced and groaned. "Let me down gently. Tell me the good news first," she said.

"Well, it's not your battery," Edward smiled.

"Yeah, I kind of figured," Bella laughed. "Tell me the bad news in terms of dollars and cents."

"About two hundred dollars."

Her first inclination was to complain, but in reality, as far as car maintenance goes, two hundred dollars wasn't really that detrimental.

"Two hundred? That's it? Are you sure?" she questioned.

Edward nodded. "You need to replace your alternator. It's not charging your battery, which is why this one is already dead after two days," Edward nodded toward the front end of Bella's truck. "It would probably take me a few days to get the part, but I could probably put it in on Friday."

"You can do it?" Bella asked incredulously.

"Yeah, me. Unless this is still under warranty," Edward patted the body of the truck.

Bella shook her head. "No, no warranty. But, I couldn't ask you to fix my truck. It would take forever."

"Nah. Toyotas are pretty simple," Edward disagreed.

"Well you have to at least let me pay you for your time," Bella offered.

"Yeah, since you're not doing _anything _of substance for me," Edward said sarcastically.

"Edward, I told you, I offered to take care of Anthony because I want to help. You don't have to feel indebted to me."

"Fine," Edward sighed. "Then I'll make you a deal."

"Oh?" Bella turned toward him and looked at him with interest.

"I'll fix your truck if you show me how to grocery shop," Edward returned.

Bella burst out laughing for a matter of seconds before she realized that Edward wasn't laughing with her. "You're _serious_?"

"Yeah. I can't cook, so it would make sense that I wouldn't know how to shop for ingredients." Edward turned to gesture to Anthony. "And I can't seem to get him to eat _anything_."

Another chuckle escaped Bella before she agreed to his barter. "He asked me to show you how to cook," Bella revealed.

Edward held his hands up in surrender. "Baby steps, please. I've just barely learned how to use a cheese grater."

Anthony squeezed between Bella and Edward in that moment, and Bella ran her fingers through Anthony's soft locks as he snuggled against her for warmth.

"Thank you."

Bella looked over and saw Edward's intense gaze. It immediately set her body ablaze.

"For?"

"You know what for," Edward whispered.

And yes she did. He was thanking her for evening the score. For finally letting him rescue her for a change.


	14. Chapter 14 In Your Eyes

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 14 – In Your Eyes**

Edward pushed. He pulled. He rattled and shook. The offending piece of metal didn't budge.

Suddenly he heard a tuneful laughter from behind him.

"It absolutely has to be _that_ cart?" Bella chuckled as she watched him struggle to free the rusting contraption. "Because I think this one will do the job just as well." She easily plucked a cart from the next row.

"Hey, I told you I'm no good at this," Edward held up his hands in surrender. He accepted the cart from Bella and watched as she pulled one free for herself.

Anthony danced back and forth between Edward and Bella as they made their way into the supermarket. After Edward moved him out of the way of other patrons several times, Bella offered him a ride in her cart, which he reluctantly accepted.

"If I want to get out in a little while, can I?" Anthony wondered.

"Of course," Bella assured him.

"The cereal isle," Edward piped up. "He'll want to get out so that he can inspect the toys that are in the cereal boxes."

Bella laughed. "I remember being so excited for the toys hidden in the box. Don't you?"

Edward shook his head. "It was always a piece of junk that didn't work right. Or it only worked with something you had to write away for."

"You can't honestly tell me that you cared about that when you were five years old," Bella challenged him with a smirk.

"Well…maybe I got a _little_ excited," Edward confessed, but he didn't want to think about being five years old. The memories felt like they belonged to another person – someone he didn't know any longer.

"Thought so," Bella smiled as she reached in her purse and pulled out a sheet of paper with a grid on it. She handed Edward a blank one and kept one for herself that was already filled out.

"What's this?" Edward asked as he took the pencil she was holding out to him.

"This is lesson number one: meal planning. How can you buy groceries if you don't know what you're going to use them for?" Bella pointed to her own grid, which Edward now recognized as a calendar. "On Monday, I'm going to make tacos. So, I'll need to make sure I have taco shells, lettuce, cheese-"

"You do this _every _time you go grocery shopping?" Edward asked her incredulously.

"Yeah," Bella turned and looked at him. "Why?"

"Because I've never heard of anyone going through all of this to buy groceries. A list, maybe but a whole calendar?"

Bella looked down at her calendar once again, and Edward wondered if he'd hurt her feelings. "I spend less money when I do it this way," she told him.

And that was all Edward needed to hear. Less money was good. Not that he wanted to make a grand production out of it, but he wasn't one to drop two hundred dollars in the grocery store. He never had that much disposable income.

"Oh," the thought of income had jogged Edward's memory, "I got a letter from the state telling me that I successfully completed all that paperwork and Anthony's benefit checks are being processed."

"Edward, that's great!" Bella said with her usual, genuine enthusiasm.

"Yeah…it won't arrive a moment too soon," Edward said as he stole a glance at Anthony, too embarrassed to make eye contact with Bella as he spoke of money woes.

As if she understood completely, she pointed to his cart, "Maybe we should start small. I don't want to overwhelm you on your first lesson." She paused to laugh. "Do you want to just shop for a week?"

"Works for me," Edward said. He stole a glance over at Bella's list and saw that some of her dinner choices were things he might be able to handle.

"Do you like tacos, Anthony?" Edward asked his son.

Instead of immediately answer, Anthony looked up at Bella. "Do you like tacos?" he asked.

"I _love_ tacos," Bella emphasized.

Anthony nodded. "Me too."

"Good, because that's what we're having for dinner on Monday," Bella said as she tickled him behind his ears.

Edward turned to face her so suddenly that he accidentally banged his cart into hers and dropped the piece of paper he'd been holding.

"Bella, you don't have to make dinner for him. I'll give him dinner when I pick him up," he insisted.

"But you won't get off work until six and it'll be at least another half hour before you get to my apartment. He'll be starving," Bella pointed to Anthony. "You're seriously going to deny me the opportunity to have dinner with this little guy three nights a week?"

Edward's eyes traveled from the humorous pout Bella wore on her face, to the empty cart between them.

"Fine, but I'm buying the stuff to make the tacos," he relented.

"As you wish," Bella playfully curtseyed.

Edward watched her as she walked slightly ahead of him, wheeling Anthony along with her.

Edward hadn't neglected to notice that Bella was, once again, wearing a pair of jeans. It was perhaps the sexiest thing he'd ever seen, and he had to think about golf shoes and tennis rackets momentarily so that she wouldn't see the evidence of his admiration.

"Yes!" Bella celebrated as she stopped at an end cap that displayed cleaning supplies on sale. "I love when these go on sale!"

Edward watched in amusement as Bella placed three small boxes of a household-cleaning product into her cart like she'd won a secret lottery.

"So," he said as he wheeled his cart over to her, "besides being a pro at grocery shopping and harboring a strange infatuation for cleaning supplies that display pictures of androgynous, bald men, what else should I know about the woman who's going to have my kid three days a week?"

Bella quirked an eyebrow at him. "You think Mr. Clean is androgynous?"

Edward plucked a box off the shelf and held it out for her to see. "Look at that expression on his face…and those eyebrows…it's suspect."

Bella laughed unabashedly. It was contagious, and in no time at all, Edward was laughing, too.

An elderly woman with cotton candy colored hair sneered at their guffaws as she passed, which only resulted in more snickers and giggles.

After settling down, Edward and Bella made their way to the cereal aisle, and just as Edward had predicted, Anthony asked to be set free. As soon as Bella set him firmly on the floor, she watched as he methodically inspected a section of boxes for their touted content.

"So, what do you want to know about me?" Bella asked, her eyes still fixed on Anthony.

"I don't know…what kind of music do you like?" Edward asked.

"Because that totally tells you how trustworthy and responsible I am," Bella smirked as she rolled her eyes.

"I already know you're trustworthy and responsible. Now I just want to know if you have bad taste," Edward smirked back.

"And what would you consider bad taste?"

"Ska, rap, basically anything that played on the radio in the 90s."

"Wow. That's a pretty broad spectrum there," Bella laughed. "But with the exception of music from the 90s, I pretty much agree with you."

"Uh-oh. Don't tell me you like that techno-pop crap."

"No…I'm more of a rock, power-ballad kinda girl."

"Hair bands? Hair band music?" Edward put his hand to his chest like he was suffering a massive blow to his heart. "Oh say it isn't so!"

"I can't help it. My mom had one of those Time Life music subscriptions and the Power Ballads CD really got me hooked. I literally like every song."

"What's your favorite song?"

"I don't have _a_ favorite song. I like too many of them to name a favorite. It depends on my mood."

"I have a favorite song," Anthony piped up. He had stealthily placed a box of Trix cereal in Edward's cart undetected and was now standing between the carts staring up at Bella.

"What's your favorite song?" Bella reached down and picked Anthony up in an attempt to put him back in the cart. But Anthony had other plans. He wrapped his legs around her waist and his arms around her neck, thus preventing her from pulling him away from her body.

Bella rubbed her hands up and down Anthony's back momentarily and coaxed him again to tell her his favorite song.

"You Are My Sunshine," he said, his voice muffled into her collar.

"Ooh, I love that song!" Bella exclaimed right before she began to sing a bit of the chorus and sway with Anthony.

Edward looked on at their interaction uncomfortably. It was so…easy.

Silently he berated himself, for in that moment he felt an emotion that a father should never feel towards his son: envy. But as he watched Bella hold Anthony and shower him with her affection, he couldn't help but feel anything but.

"Okay, Anthony. It's time to get down," Edward said as he tapped his son's foot in an attempt to get him to loosen his hold on Bella.

Anthony made no move to obey.

"One more hug and then I'm going to put you in the cart," Bella said. She gave Anthony a tight squeeze. He giggled loudly. "Oh, I lied. One more," Bella said before doing it again.

This time Anthony threw his head back in laughter, and he was still laughing when Bella had managed to get him back in the cart.

Edward considered complimenting Bella on how well she interacted with his son, but he spent so much time practicing the sentiments in his head, that the moment had passed, and before he knew it, she had led him to the produce section and was questioning him about fruit.

"Do you want bananas? They're on sale," Bella held up a bunch.

"Uh…I'm not a big banana eater," Edward countered. When Bella remained silent but pointed to Anthony, Edward asked for his son's input on the item. "Anthony, do you like bananas?"

He glanced up briefly, looked at the bunch of bananas, nodded and then returned his attention to a cooking magazine that Bella had handed him.

"Great. Something else he'll eat. And kids aren't usually allergic to bananas, are they?" Edward asked as he put the fruit in his basket.

"Kids can be allergic to just about anything. Why?" Bella asked.

"I'm just nervous about stuff like that because I don't know what he's allergic to," Edward motioned toward Anthony. "Alice freaked me out with all these stories of kids eating things they're allergic to and their throats closing up on them…"

"You don't have his medical records?" Bella frowned.

"Well, I'm supposed to be receiving them in the mail, but it's taking forever. And until I get them, I can't sign him up for the Apple Health you told me about. And I can't take him to the doctor without the Apple Health…it's a catch twenty-two."

"Sounds like it," Bella empathized. "Were you allergic to anything as a kid? Sometimes those things are hereditary."

"Just cats," Edward said. He remembered that Anthony had said that he was also allergic to cats. "Anthony is, too. You don't have a cat do you?"

"No cats," Bella assured him.

Edward was about to change the subject when Bella asked him about his family in a roundabout way.

"Do you have any siblings, Edward?" She must have noticed the alarming way Edward was looking at her, because she quickly qualified her question with an explanation. "If your siblings had certain allergies, like if it was passed down from your parents or something, Anthony could have that, too."

"No," Edward said quickly. He didn't make it clear whether he was telling her that he had no siblings, or if they had no allergies, but Bella didn't ask for clarification.

They strolled along in silence for a few minutes before Bella zapped Edward out of his funk by singing along with the music that was being piped through the supermarket's ancient speakers. When she saw Edward's amused expression, she immediately stopped singing, as if she hadn't realized she was doing it.

"Let me guess, you don't like music that played on the radio in the 70s either," she taunted him.

Edward shrugged and smirked. "No, Fleetwood Mac is cool. And this song came out in the 80s."

"Okay, smarty pants," Bella said as she lightly bumped him purposefully. "What kind of music do you like?"

The momentary contact of their bodies when Bella had brushed against him had Edward's mind in a tizzy. He'd almost reached out and pulled her against him and tickled her – as if he had a right to flirt with her in that manner.

But it was like Bella's body was a magnet and his was metal. Edward had to strongly fight against the urge to just reach out and touch her; to stroke the length of her arm or back…to slide his hand into the back pocket of those jeans…

His cell phone rang and broke the spell. Edward quickly looked up, realizing that he'd been openly gawking at Bella's ass. Luckily she was busy tossing a package of baby carrots into her cart and was none the wiser.

Edward looked and saw Vicki's number flash across his phone screen. When he looked back at Bella, he saw that she was watching him, but when his eyes met hers, she quickly looked away.

Edward silenced the call, but moments after he did so, it rang again. He wasn't surprised. Vicki was extremely persistent.

He turned his back to Bella and answered the call as quietly as possible.

"Hi, Edward," Vicki said silkily. "Why haven't you called? I've been waiting for you."

"Waiting for me? Why?" Edward whispered.

"Why are you whispering? Where are you?" Vicki immediately became irritated and untrusting.

"I'm at the grocery store," Edward told her.

"Oh," that seemed to appease her. "Well why didn't you call me? We could have gone together."

"Didn't think about it." Edward rolled his eyes.

"Well did you think about the fact that tomorrow is Friday?"

"What's this about?" Edward didn't have time for guessing games. As he glanced over at Bella, it was clear that she was done shopping and was biding her time, waiting for him.

"It's almost the weekend and you haven't even told me what we're doing yet!" Vicki huffed.

"I didn't know I was responsible for how you spent your weekend."

"What?" Vicki huffed. "What the hell is going on?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Are you seeing someone else?"

"What? No!" Edward felt like a fool having this type of conversation in the middle of the supermarket.

Bella looked up when she heard Edward's exclamation. He quickly lowered his voice as he continued his conversation.

"Look, I'm in the middle of the store. I'll talk to you later. I'll…call you when I get home." Edward closed his phone and ended the call abruptly.

"Everything okay?" Bella asked when Edward took hold of his cart. He hadn't even noticed that Bella had been maneuvering both carts while he'd been on the phone.

"Yeah," he said flatly. "Ready?"

Bella nodded, and followed Edward as he led the way to the checkout register.

She was just a friend, and she was simply doing him a favor in helping him get the hang of grocery shopping, but Vicki's intruding phone call was a harsh dose of reality and it did well to dispel the magic that he'd been experiencing with Bella as he basked in her company.

The awkwardness of the tail end of the shopping trip was temporarily suspended when Bella climbed into Edward's car and commandeered his radio.

She tuned it to a hip hop station and turned it up, grinning at Edward until he reacted and turned the dial to a rock and roll station. The Eagles' Hotel California blared from the speaker and from the corner of his eye, Edward could see that Bella was pleased.

He didn't bother telling her that it was one of his favorite songs.

After helping Bella separate her groceries and get them inside, Edward hedged at her front door as he held onto Anthony, forbidding him to go roaming around the apartment.

"So…I was thinking I'd come by on Sunday to replace your alternator. Is that good?" Edward asked.

"That's great," Bella beamed. "Seriously, Edward. I cannot thank you enough for fixing my truck."

The way Bella was looking at him…knowing that he was responsible for that expression on her face…the magnet was strong and he gave in.

Slowly and tentatively, Edward raised his hand and softly dislodged a few strands of hair that curled against the corner of Bella's mouth. She gasped when his fingers came into contact with her skin and he dropped his hand quickly. "Sorry…"

"No…it's okay. I just…"

They stood there, in the middle of Bella's small kitchen, staring at one another gauchely, until Anthony broke the trance with a request to go to the bathroom.

When Edward returned from making sure Anthony aimed at the toilet, he noticed that Bella was avoiding looking him in the eye as she put her groceries away and spoke to him rapidly and evasively.

"So…I'll see you Sunday?" Edward verified.

"Sunday. Just…call me and let me know when you're coming. I'll be here all day," Bella said. Her eyes made it as high as his shirt collar.

It had been a nice day. Bella made grocery shopping seem less like a chore and more like a fun outing. Even Anthony had been in one of the best moods Edward had ever seen him in.

Being in Bella's presence was like being around… Edward realized there had never been a woman in his life that he'd had a friendship with where he genuinely enjoyed her company. Not that he only wanted to be friends with Bella…

Just thinking of that reminded him of Vicki and immediately Edward grew aggravated. Everything had been going great until she'd called and popped the mystical bubble that had surrounded him and Bella. And then he'd had to go and make things worse with that pussy move he'd pulled in her kitchen – touching her like some crack-induced Casanova. _What the hell was that?_

Edward didn't want to think about any of it any longer and his mind raced for a distraction. He glanced at the radio, but already that had Bella's memory etched upon it. He then looked in the rearview mirror at Anthony and saw that his son was fast asleep.

It was then that he noticed a car following closely behind him. Edward tapped his breaks in warning.

"Get off my ass," he muttered, making sure to keep his voice low so as not to wake Anthony.

The person driving the car was obviously lost and not paying much attention because as soon as the red blaring light of Edward's brake lights appeared, the driver of the older white vehicle pulled back before skidding around Edward and racing off down the street.

"Fuckin' moron," Edward said. He looked back and made sure Anthony was still asleep. Luckily he was and therefore hadn't heard his father's colorful language.

At home, Edward carried his groceries into the house before he removed Anthony from the car and carried him inside as well. Just as he laid Anthony down on the couch, Edward's phone rang. He wondered if it might be Bella, calling to give some insight on what, exactly, she'd been thinking as he left her home and why her demeanor had changed so suddenly.

But it was Emmett, and he was simply calling to remind Edward of some plans that Edward hadn't remembered making.

"Remember? Rose got that restaurant in Port Angeles to comp us dinner for the night? Open bar, Man. You have to go," Emmett insisted.

"Port Angeles?" Edward groaned. Though an open bar and free food was appealing, it was quite a trek for the privilege. Plus Anthony would have to have a baby sitter. It just sounded like a lot of effort for one night.

"Yeah, and Alice's friend got us a limo. Man, we're gonna be livin' it up for free!" To Emmett, getting things for free was the equivalent of a large federal tax refund. Edward knew there was no saying no to him.

"So, Alice is going? Or is it just us guys?" Edward asked. He only vaguely remembered Emmett telling him something about Rosalie's Port Angeles score.

"No, it all of us. Me and Rose, Jasper and Alice…who are you bringing?"

"Uh…I don't know. Should I ask-"

"Oh, and Bella is going with some tool from Rose's office."

"Derek," Edward spat out the name like it was sour vinegar.

"Yeah, I think that's the guy. Anyway, Saturday night. We're all meeting at Jasper's and taking off from there. You're in, right?"

The last thing Edward wanted to do was spend the evening with Bella and another guy. And he certainly wasn't going to go stag and be the only guy there amongst a sea of couples.

"Man, how come you're acting like I didn't tell you about this?" Emmett went on. "You said you were coming with Vicki."

"I did?" Edward honestly didn't remember any of it.

"You did. And if you waste these two free tickets, Rose is gonna be on my ass because she had another friend who wanted to come."

Edward's mind strained to remember a conversation where he'd said he was going to ask Vicki out. Then he remembered her phone call at the supermarket and how she'd been expecting him to ask her out. Maybe he _had_ said something. Emmett was certainly under the impression that he had.

"Yeah, okay. I'll call you back," Edward promised.

Going out took more of an effort than Edward was used to making. First he had to find a babysitter for Anthony. Luckily Taylor's mother was more than willing to take Anthony for the evening. Apparently her other children were having friends over, and if it wasn't for a visit from Anthony, Taylor would have been left out of the festivities.

Next, Edward called Vicki and she picked up on the third ring. She sounded unpleasant at first, but when Edward inquired about whether or not he'd told her he was taking her to Port Angeles that weekend, she only implied her answer.

"I was beginning to wonder when you'd get around to it," she said. "When are we going?"

As Edward explained the Saturday night plan, Vicki became less obnoxious and more excited. By the time he'd ended the call, she was exuberantly talking about a sexy red dress and what she would do to make Edward's night worthwhile.

All the while, the only thing Edward could think about was how awkward it was going to be to have Vicki across the table from Bella.

On Saturday evening, once he and Vicki had arrived at Jasper and Alice's home, it took Edward less than five minutes to realize that awkward wasn't a strong enough word.

A dark gray Infiniti was parked in the driveway, and since it was the only car Edward didn't recognize, he deduced that it belonged to Derek.

"Wow…that is one nice car," Vicki emotionally salivated as she took in the vehicle.

Edward shrugged as he tossed a quick glance in the vehicle's direction. _It wasn't that nice,_ he thought as he followed Vicki up to the front door of the house.

As they waited, Edward quickly assessed what he was wearing and wondered if the untucked white collared shirt and charcoal gray slacks were nice enough. Then he looked over at Vicki. She was adorned in a red halter style dress that fit her curves exquisitely. The silken dyed-to-match stilettos were a nice contrast against her creamy skin and accentuated her athletic legs. Every blonde hair on her head was in its place, as if she'd combed each strand individually. And the red lipstick she wore had been painted on flawlessly.

Yet she looked like a vagabond in comparison to Bella Swan.

When Jasper had opened the door and Edward had caught a glimpse of Bella standing directly at the back of the hallway, his knees had nearly buckled at the sight of her.

The strapless black dress that Bella was wearing was a dichotomy of vixen and virtue. The black satin ribbon, tied into an innocent bow at her waist, contrasted with the sexy tulle peeking out from the bottom of the skirt. The ribbing along the bodice emphasized her breasts, and Edward could clearly visualize his hands peeling back the fabric to reveal erect nipples, yearning for his touch…

"Edward!" An annoyed voice broke through his thoughts.

"What?" Edward answered, equally irritated to have his fantasy interrupted.

Jasper elbowed him and nodded toward Derek's outstretched hand. "This is Derek, a friend of Rosalie's –"

"And Bella's," Derek interjected as he flashed a smile in her direction.

Edward nearly retched at the man in front of him. Derek looked like one of those guys in high school that never quite understood how cool he _wasn't._ His Ken-doll hairstyle, his clothes, his shoes – they all screamed two seasons ago.

And he had on a brown suit. _Brown._ He looked like shit, literally.

However, Alice disagreed.

"I like your suit, Derek. It reminds me of something I saw on Project Runway," she complimented.

_More like Project Run-away,_ Edward ruminated.

"I was in New York for Fashion Week with my sister and she saw this and simply made me buy it. She thought it had a certain appeal as well," Derek smiled. Then he glanced over at Bella, as if he was waiting for something.

"It is nice," she finally said, as if on second thought.

Then her eyes slid over to Edward's and she looked like she was trying to hide a smile.

Edward's heart soared. _Was it possible that she didn't like this guy? That his expensive clothes and fancy car wasn't exactly her cup of tea?_

"The limo is here!" Alice squealed when she saw the elongated, sleek, ebony vehicle pull up in front of her house.

Edward overheard Derek telling Bella about the history of the limousine and how it's a French word blah blah blah. He almost started laughing, but when he looked over at Bella, she'd seemed genuinely interested and had asked Derek if he'd ever been to France. And, of course, he had.

"Where's Anthony tonight?" Bella asked Edward timidly once they were all in the limousine and the thrill of all of its bells and whistles had died down.

"He's with a friend," Vicki chimed in as she threaded her arm through Edward's.

Edward noticed Bella's eyes momentarily land on Vicki's hand before she looked up at him for further clarification.

"Taylor's," Edward offered.

Bella nodded. "Make sure you question him thoroughly about his evening when you get home. Sometimes Taylor can be…not so nice."

Vicki looked between Edward and Bella before her face erupted into an expression of discovery.

"You're Anthony's teacher, right?"

When Bella nodded, she continued on. "Oh! I was wondering where I knew you from; I just couldn't place your face. You look really…_different_."

"Teachers," Derek piped up then, anxious to garner all of Bella's attention, "perhaps the world's most noble profession."

"Oh, Derek. That's so sweet," Rosalie said in an overly sugary tone as she tried to conspicuously tap Bella's foot with her own, but Edward saw it.

He looked up and saw that Bella was watching him. The expression on her face reflected his thoughts: it was going to be a long night.

The ride to the Alder Wood Bistro was long and tortuous. Vicki and Derek both talked almost non-stop the entire trip, and unfortunately it wasn't to each other. Both Alice and Rosalie were shooting Edward caustic looks, pleading with him to shut Vicki up. Yet Alice seemed to be the only one irritated by Derek's egotistical prattling. Bella's expression was indifferent and Rosalie seemed to hang on every word – that is when she wasn't laughing over-enthusiastically at his dull jokes.

Upon arrival, the group swiftly exited the limo and made their way into the restaurant. Emmett made it known that he was starving, stating that he'd had a light lunch in preparation of the evening.

"This afternoon I saw you nearly eat an entire pizza by yourself," Rosalie gave him away.

"Yeah," Emmett agreed. "Like I said, light."

"You know, pizza houses a plethora of unnecessary calories. I try to stay away from the stuff," Derek told Emmett.

"Good. More for the rest of us," Emmett told him, then he turned to Jasper and mouthed, _who is this guy?_

As he walked behind Derek and Bella, Edward bristled at the sight of Derek's hand slightly massaging the small of Bella's back.

And then once they'd all taken their seats at the large, circular table, Edward bridled at the way Derek stroked Bella's shoulder with his naked fingertips.

"You okay?" Jasper nudged and whispered.

"Yeah," Edward cleared his throat and sat up straight. He fought hard to focus on something else, anything else, besides Derek and Bella.

He turned his attention to the way Alice devoured the wine list, insisting that Jasper order a red wine while she ordered two different kinds of white.

"What? It's free," she shrugged when she saw Edward watching her.

Edward laughed, knowing that Alice's less-than-five-foot frame would be inebriated in no time at all.

He then turned his attention to Emmett and noted the way his friend was attempting to speak to Rosalie about the menu, but Rosalie seemed to only have eyes for the couple across from her. She was enthralled by every word Derek spoke, leaving Edward bewildered as he tried to figure out what was so great about the guy.

By the time dinner had arrived, the drinks were flowing freely. It wasn't long before Edward lost his resolve and zeroed in on Bella once again. He managed to get an earful as Derek told her about his vacation in Barbados and how he came to settle on an Infiniti instead of a Mercedes Benz.

"Do you think you'll soon be in the market for a new car since your truck is giving you so much trouble?" Derek asked.

"Actually, no. I'm having my truck fixed," Bella's eyes flashed to Edward. She smiled when she saw that he was watching her.

"I can't believe the mechanic gave you a faulty battery. I should call him up and give him a piece of my mind," Derek threatened.

Edward rolled his eyes. "There's nothing wrong with the battery. It's the alternator. Maybe if the mechanic knew what he was doing –"

"Rich at Eagle definitely knows what he's doing. He's one of the best mechanics in the area." Although his words were in response to Edward, Derek kept his eyes planted on Bella.

"Well Rich at Eagle should have checked the alternator and saved Bella the headache of a night stranded in a parking lot," Edward said.

"You were stranded?" Derek frowned at Bella. "You could have called me."

"She called me," Edward said.

Suddenly three sets of eyes focused on Edward as Vicki, Derek and Bella all wondered what had gotten into him. He quickly simmered down and pretended to have newfound interest in his food. He desperately tried to drown out the sound of Derek reacting to Rosalie's verbal masturbation about Derek's timeshare in Maui.

"Edward, you should take a vacation to Maui," Vicki said suddenly. "You totally have the money now."

"Money?" Jasper looked over at Edward. "You win a lottery I don't know about?"

"He just got all this money from the state," Vicki waved her hand in front of Jasper's face nonchalantly.

"Anthony's money?" Bella asked in a small voice. From the look on her face, Edward could tell that Bella was disappointed in him. He opened his mouth to tell her that he had no intention of using the money to take a vacation when Vicki turned and addressed Bella before he had a chance.

"Having a kid dropped on you out of the middle of nowhere is a huge burden, don't you think? And I'd say a vacation is just what Edward deserves and needs."

"What Edward _needs_," Bella held the emphasis on the last word, "is to find a bigger apartment so that Anthony can have his own bedroom so he doesn't have to feel like a visitor in his own home."

The anger that radiated from Bella seemed to take on human form and pull up a chair at the table. Before things could get any more out of hand, Edward held up his hands to stop the madness.

"Before anyone puts anymore words in my mouth," he looked pointedly over at Vicki, "I have no intention of taking a vacation or anything like that. And of course my son is not a burden."

"Well…I still think you should take a vacation," Vicki pouted. Edward knew that by _you_ she mean _we_, and she would happily hitch a ride to whatever fancy destination she could come up with.

However, when Edward looked over at Bella, her eyes had softened and look of disappointment was gone.

And then, true to his ego-tripping and ill-timed ways, Derek had a warning for Edward, just in case he _did_ decide to go on a vacation.

"Don't use a travel agent. Last time I did that, I got conned out of $2400," he said.

Alice laughed. "You should get Rosalie to litigate for you," she hiccupped. It was now blaringly obvious that she was drunk.

"Litigate?" Derek seemed to be the only one amused.

"Oh, it's nothing. I just have this fake law firm that I use to bring people to justice who have wronged me." Then, trying to bring Derek's focus back to Bella, Rosalie added, "Bella thinks it's unethical."

Alice let out a long peel of laughter before Jasper reached over and took her wine glass out of her hand.

"Bella doesn't think it's _that_ unethical," Alice sang out as she pointed to Bella.

Rosalie could immediately tell that there was something between Bella and Alice that she hadn't been privy to.

"Why? What happened?" Rosalie asked.

"Alice, have you tried the house wine? Here, have mine," Bella quickly passed her glass to Alice, but Jasper intercepted it and shook his head, signaling that Alice was cut off.

"What did Bella do?" Rosalie pressed Alice.

"Bella used the fake law firm when she had Edward's lights turned back on," Alice cackled uncontrollably.

"What?" Rosalie turned and looked at Bella with wide eyes. "You went up against a public utilities company? Are you crazy?"

"Wow, Bella. That's balls out," Emmett raised his eyebrows at her.

"Can we just…talk about something else?" Bella asked.

"What did she do?" Vicki whispered to Edward.

But he didn't acknowledge her. He was too busy wishing the floor would open up and swallow him whole.

"So wait, did the company shut his lights off unjustifiably or did he not pay his bill?" Derek asked Bella.

"Derek," Bella muttered as she shook her head. Edward looked away just as she buried her face in her hands.

Did she think his life was a joke? Did she go around discussing his misfortunes with her friends and then laugh about it, much like what was happening now?

All around him, his friends were laughing and bantering about the feat that Bella had pulled off, and how Edward had benefited. They were jovial as they requested her to act on their behalf. But Edward wasn't listening. His eyes were locked on Bella and when she repentantly peered over at him, he was sure she was able to read his rage through his intense gaze.

Abruptly, Edward stood up and walked out of the restaurant. He saw the limo driving lounging against the car in the parking lot and was reminded that not only did he not have a way to escape, but also he'd have to endure the entire ride home with Bella and that smug prick Derek.

As Edward attempted to walk off the heightened emotion he was feeling, he analyzed why he was so upset with Bella. It wasn't because the entire table was now talking about how he'd been unable to pay his bill and had thus been denied power for his delinquency. His friends already knew that – and they were all that mattered anyway.

It wasn't even that Bella had taken it upon herself to do such a thing without asking. Truth be told, her generosity and caring was one of the things Edward liked most about her.

But it was that fleeting moment, when Edward had realized just what Alice was disclosing, that look on Bella's face…

She didn't even look confused, like a misunderstood, caring friend might have. No, she looked remorseful, because she knew exactly what Edward knew. Her actions hadn't been fueled by her caring, nor by her friendship with Edward. Instead, Bella had acted out of pity, and she'd looked upon him like he was half a man.

And in the eyes of Bella Swan, that was the last thing he wanted to be.


	15. Chapter 15 Maneater

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 15 - Maneater**

Bella lifted her head and watched the retreating form of Edward Cullen as he walked out of the restaurant. The only two people who seemed to notice her watching him were Vicki and Derek. And when Bella made a move to leave her seat, so did Vicki.

"Could you just…give me a minute?" Bella asked her as she held up one finger to visually indicate her request.

"Don't you think you've done enough?" Vicki narrowed her eyes at Bella.

Bella could barely conceal the sigh of irritation she bellowed before hastening outside after Edward. She found him quickly on the side of the building.

"Edward, let me explain," she beseeched.

Edward's only response was to glare at her before he turned and left her where she stood.

"Edward," Bella jogged to catch up to him. "Talk to me. Come on," she pulled at his sleeve.

He wretched his arm free, refusing to look at her.

And suddenly _he_ was back. That man that Bella had met in the beginning of the school year – the one so full of anger and pride. _Mr. Cullen_.

"I don't understand why you're so upset with me," Bella began. "I was just trying to help."

"Did I ask for your help?" Edward rounded on her. "I'm not your charity case, Bella!"

"I know that, Edward." She tried to use her tone of voice to soften the mood. It might have worked had Vicki not materialized at that moment.

The sight of her incensed Bella, and she suddenly found herself just as agitated and irritated as Edward.

"Hey, you okay?" Vicki went over to Edward and snaked one arm around his waist. Then she tossed a sneer in Bella's direction. "What did you _do_?"

"This doesn't concern you, Vicki," Bella told her.

"What concerns Edward, concerns me, so if you-"

"Vicki," Edward silenced her. "Just…leave it."

Unfortunately for Bella, the rest of their party filed out of the restaurant and the limo driver appeared moments later.

"Okay, that was a little too borderline ghetto for me," Rosalie said as she walked over to Bella. "What is his problem?" she asked of Edward.

"I have no idea," Bella murmured as she looked over at Edward. "And I can't get past his _warden _to find out."

"She's just jealous," Rosalie said of Vicki. "Why she thinks you'd ever sink low enough to be interested in Edward…"

"What's so wrong with Edward, Rosalie?"

"Nothing," Rosalie's eyes widened at the confrontation.

It was then that Bella noticed Derek standing at Rosalie's side. He looked between the two women and then over Bella's shoulder at Edward. When he looked back at Bella, he wore a perplexed expression on his face.

"Let's all just get home," Jasper said as he opened the door to the limousine. Alice had passed through the phase of being exuberated by her alcohol and was now clinging to Jasper as if her bones had turned to jelly.

"I'm tired, Jas," she murmured into his lapel.

Bella glanced over at Alice in irritation. Now that she'd caused her own personal Chernobyl, _now_ she was docile and quiet.

Edward was the first to enter the waiting vehicle, and when Bella tried to get in behind him, Vicki squeezed her out of the way and climbed in before her. Fortunately, Bella was able to sit across from him. She tapped his knee as soon as she sat down.

"Edward, surely you can't be mad at me. I was just trying to do you and Anthony a favor. He's afraid of the dark," Bella added.

When she spoke the last line, Edward's eyes flittered over to her. _Finally, a reaction!_

"I love how you feel the need to tell him things about his own son," Vicki rolled her eyes.

"I love how you feel the need to impart your lack of knowledge on the undeserving," Bella spat back.

It took Vicki a moment to realize that Bella had actually insulted her, but as soon as the words sunk in, her face morphed into one of hatred and rage. But when she opened her mouth, Rosalie shut her down immediately.

"Obviously this does not concern you and you're doing nothing but making yourself look like a giant ass every time you try to insert yourself. However, Edward is being a royal jackass as well, so you two are a well matched pair tonight." Rosalie then gestured to Bella with her eyes, reminding her that Derek was right beside her and he was the man she should be focusing her attention on.

Edward mumbled a 'fuck off' to Rosalie before turning his attention out the window.

It was obvious that Bella wasn't going to successfully get through to him that evening, and though she wasn't quite as frank about it as Rosalie, she was sure that she, too, would start to look like an idiot if she persisted much longer. So she kept quiet for the remainder of the ride, and luckily, Vicki did, too.

The only sounds on the way home were the sounds of Rosalie's voice mixed with Derek's as they spoke of sales goals, profits and incentive packages. After five minutes, Bella stopped trying to act interested, and five minutes after that, they stopped trying to include her altogether. Across from them, Alice slept against Jasper's shoulder and Jasper and Emmett exchanged inquisitive glances whenever Rosalie laughed at one of Derek's asinine jokes.

Once they'd arrived back at Alice and Jasper's residence, everyone filed out of the limousine, still lacking their usual carefree banter. Bella hesitated to follow Derek to his car, first waiting for Edward, as he was the last one to climb out of the vehicle.

"So…let me know if you change your mind about Monday," she said. Bella didn't wait for an answer or acknowledgment, but as she walked away, she heard Vicki question Edward about her statement.

"What's Monday?" Vicki wanted to know.

"She's going to take Anthony to and from school while I'm at work," Edward answered in a low tone.

"But she's his teacher."

"So?"

"So isn't that like, a conflict of interest or something?"

"No."

"Well it should be."

Bella grimaced at the way Vicki's voice grated against her eardrums. Bella wanted to respond to Vicki herself, but she knew it would be inappropriate. After all, she'd be doing the same thing she'd been accusing Vicki of earlier: butting in.

Instead, she looked over at Derek, who was waiting for her beside an open passenger side door. She smiled at him as she slid into the already warmed up car and thanked him as he shut the door, sealing her in.

"So…" Derek started and stopped as he drove down the road toward Bella's apartment. "Tonight was…interesting."

"That it was," Bella offered a soft chuckle.

"It's got to be difficult," Derek said, giving Bella the opportunity to fill in the rest of his thought.

"What's that?" she asked.

"Going out on a group date with your ex."

"Who's your ex?" Bella asked.

"Not me. I meant you."

Immediately Bella knew that Derek was speaking about Edward.

"Edward isn't my ex. He's just a friend," she informed him.

But Derek simply smiled, unconvinced. "Bella, I have lots of _friends_ and I don't look at any of them the way that he was looking at you. And I think his date noticed."

"Ugh," Bella rolled her eyes at the mention of Vicki. "I can assure you that Edward doesn't have feelings for me. Except for those of the enraged variety."

"Yes, I noticed you managed to make him feel quite…fired up," Derek laughed. "What was that about?"

"Well I helped him out with something that apparently he didn't want my help with." Bella turned to Derek, her voice slightly raised an octave. "Which doesn't really make any sense. I mean, we're friends, right? So why is it such a big deal if I help him out of a jam?"

"Because he's a man. And we men are prideful creatures. We don't like having certain women showing us up and making us feel inferior."

"_Certain_ woman?" Bella raised her eyebrows at the term. It sounded archaic and quite frankly gave her one more reason not to like Derek.

That is, until he clarified his remark.

"Otherwise known as women we'd rather be more than just friends with."

Bella opened her mouth to argue with Derek's observation, but then quickly closed it. While the existence of Vicki almost undoubtedly killed his case regarding Edward's affections, Bella realized that, if she were honest, she'd have to admit to having feelings for Edward. Yet, here she sat with Derek.

"Look," Derek said once he'd arrived at Bella's apartment. "I think you're a very interesting and beautiful woman and I'd love to take you out again. But…I'd be remiss if I didn't say you seem a little distracted right now."

Bella nodded. "I've got some…things to sort out," she agreed.

Derek smiled and asked her to call him once she had sorted out her issues. Bella nodded and smiled, but internally had no intention of contacting Derek on a romantic level. Regardless of how he felt about her, she knew there was no love connection. After all, the longest conversation she'd had with him the entire evening had been about Edward.

Yet that didn't sway her from pondering what Derek had said about Edward. Was it more than a bruised ego that was fueling Edward's furor?

His reaction had placed Bella in a bit of a conundrum. While she agreed that Alice's timing was horrible and out of line, she didn't agree that she, herself, had done anything to warrant Edward's anger. She'd helped him out. Why was that such a bad thing?

And then Vicki's harsh words regarding Bella's involvement – It was one thing for that banshee to stick her nose where it didn't belong, but for Edward to put up with it?

"Granted, he did call her off," Bella said aloud to her empty living room. But it hadn't been enough. She'd wanted more of an alliance from him.

She'd wanted some assurance that she meant more to him than Vicki did.

There. She'd finally said it, even if it wasn't out loud.

Bella walked over to her telephone and stared at the blaring red zero, signaling that she had no messages. She picked up the phone with the intent of calling Edward and then immediately placed it back down on the receiver. If she called Edward and Vicki answered, the image of what they were doing at Edward's apartment, at night, while Anthony was away at a babysitter's, would definitely keep Bella up for the rest of the night.

Instead she subjected herself to a marathon of really bad movies on the Lifetime network before falling asleep on the couch. The fitful, restless slumber brought with it a very vivid nightmare. In it, she waited an eternity to be picked as a participant in the human race; if selected, she'd actually get to live her life; but she stood on the sideline as a spectator, never being chosen to join in and actually live.

She woke up a few hours later feeling unsettled and just as tired as she was before she'd fallen asleep.

Despite the late hour, Bella hopped in the shower as if she were ridding her body of the filth of her dream. She then pulled on a pair of clean pajamas and climbed under the comforter of her bed, where she remained until the beating of the late morning rain drove her from the sheets.

It wasn't until later in the afternoon that Bella heard the distinct beep of her mobile phone, signaling that she had a message.

She was surprised that it was from Edward.

_I'll bring Anthony at 5.30a. Let me know if that's a prob._

Before responding, Bella realized the message that Edward _wasn't _communicating with his words.

First, he'd sent a text message because he didn't want a two-way conversation. He was giving her a platform to withdraw her offer, but he didn't want to converse with her. Therefore, he was also letting her know that he was still angry with her.

Second, he was making it known that their communication was about Anthony and Anthony only. He most likely did not want to discuss anything else.

Knowing that Edward still planned on allowing her to care for Anthony while he worked brought such a relief to Bella that she hadn't even realized it was the source of most of her pent up anxiety. She had thought it all had to do with Edward's sudden aversion to her, but the news of Anthony's impending arrival made her feel a lot better.

Though she was still hurt that Edward was so upset by her friendly gesture. She knew that Edward was waiting for a response from her, and she wondered if she should simply act like all was well, or if she should insist that they get everything out in the open and work things out.

She was poking through her refrigerator, trying to decide on how she should respond to Edward, when she noticed that she didn't have any of the ingredients for the tacos she planned to make for dinner the next night. Then she remembered that Edward had paid for the fixings with his groceries. She smiled as the perfect text materialized in her mind.

_Looking forward to having Anthony in the a.m. Also, can you bring taco supplies? Left them with your groceries. Remember, dinner for Monday – you're invited, too._

Bella didn't hear back from Edward that night, but bright and early the next morning, Anthony was at her door with a new backpack, a lunchbox and a plastic bag that held everything one needed to make tacos.

"Look! It has Superman on it!" Anthony said excitedly as he held up his lunchbox for Bella to inspect.

"Wow, Anthony! That's a great lunchbox. Did you remember to put your name on it?" Bella asked.

"He did," Anthony thumbed behind him toward Edward.

Bella looked up awkwardly at Edward, but he wasn't watching her. He kept his eyes on his son.

"Do you have everything you need, Anthony?" Edward asked.

"Uh-huh," Anthony responded, distracted by the television that Bella had turned to early morning cartoons.

"Uh, Edward…" Bella began.

"I've got to get going," Edward checked his watch. "I get off at six, so I'll be here as close to that as I can."

"Okay, but I was going to ask you if Anthony is usually up at this time," Bella stated. She read Edward's signals loud and clear that he didn't want to talk about the electricity bill fiasco.

"Well…no, but if I have to be at work…" Edward seemed confused by the question.

"Because you can bring him over in his pajamas. If you want him to get a couple more hours of sleep, I can get him ready for school in the morning," Bella offered.

For a moment it looked as if Edward might take her up on her offer, but then, as if he remembered something, he shook his head.

"No, I can do it. He's fine," he waved it off. "I'll see ya." And just before he shut the door, Bella heard him mumble a quiet "thank you".

Anthony did fall back to sleep, and two hours later when they were leaving for school, Bella was worried that he would be cranky and agitated at having his sleep broken up. But Anthony was in great spirits as he climbed into the back of Bella's truck.

"I'm going to show Taylor my new lunchbox," he announced.

"I bet he'll like it. Does Taylor have a Superman lunchbox?" Bella asked.

"No. He has Transformers. I didn't want one like his," Anthony explained.

Bella nodded as she checked over his seatbelt. "Did you have a good time sleeping over at Taylor's house on Saturday?" As soon as the words left Bella's mouth, she regretted them. It sounded as if she was pumping Anthony for information, and if he repeated her question to his father, it was highly likely that Edward would see it that way as well.

"I didn't sleep at Taylor's house. His mom gave me a pillow but I didn't use it. I went home to sleep."

Bella stared at Anthony as she took in the way he carefully worded his answers. It was evident that he went to great measures not to refer to Edward as 'Dad'. It was something that probably should be looked into, and Bella wondered if Edward was even aware of it. Of course, she wasn't about to bring it up to him. Her days of unsolicited help were over.

But aside from his carefully crafted statements, Bella hadn't neglected to actually hear what Anthony had said. And as she walked around to the driver's side of her truck, she might have stumbled on a stray pebble, she might have tripped on a crack in the road or she might have been attempting to conceal the small happy dance at the revelation that Edward had not spent the night a Vicki's house.

However, the feeling of euphoria was short-lived. Later that evening, Edward made it clear that he was not accepting Bella's dinner invitation. He walked in carrying a half-full McDonald's cup and a Happy Meal box for Anthony.

"I told you I was making tacos," Bella pointed to the Happy Meal. "He's already eaten."

Edward shrugged, but didn't look at her. "I didn't know if that was just for you."

"Edward, I _told_ you I was making dinner for _both_ of you. You bought the stuff," Bella reminded him.

"Well, I just stopped on the way. No big deal."

Bella stared at Edward, hard, and fought the urge to call him an asshole, but Anthony was there and she didn't want him to hear the indiscretion.

"Well…then I guess I'll see you tomorrow," Bella said, finally breaking the silence.

Anthony gave Bella a small hug and rejoiced when she told him she'd see him the next morning.

After they'd gone, Bella went to her kitchen to clean up and pack away the extra serving of tacos she'd made for Edward. As she ladled the meat and vegetables into separate containers, she felt her eyes welling up with tears and she knew that at any minute she was going to lose it.

And then she did.

She stood in front of her stove and wept at how quickly her friendship with Edward was retreating into something non-existent. All because she was trying to help him out and show him that life wasn't against him. Oh the irony!

A knock at the door interrupted her moment of despair and Bella made quick work of wiping away her tears before opening the door.

"Anthony forgot his lunchbox," Edward announced when he stood before her.

Not wanting him to see that she'd been crying, Bella kept her eyes downcast as she nodded and retreated into the living room, where she found Anthony's Superman bounty laying on her couch.

"Here you go," she said softly as she handed the item to Edward.

He hesitated upon accepting it and Bella looked up to see him watching her curiously. But when green eyes locked with brown, Edward's walls visibly went up.

"Anthony's in the car so…I'll…see ya tomorrow."

Bella nodded before shutting the door behind the retreating figure.

"Edward, this is ridiculous," she said, just above a whisper. "We need to talk." She was sure the words would be effective if she could only say them to his face.

The tears that Bella shed had been cathartic, yet they served their purpose and they didn't reappear later that night, or the next day. When Anthony appeared the next morning, still clad in his pajamas, Bella felt ready to face the day – and Edward.

However she didn't get the chance.

Edward sent Anthony to the door and made a quick exit as soon as she opened it. At first Bella thought ill of him, until she noticed that he was fifteen minutes later than he had been the day before. He was in a hurry.

But he wasn't in a hurry that evening when he picked Anthony up. Yet he still declined dinner.

By Wednesday, Bella was done with Edward and his attitude, and she began to ignore him, just as he was ignoring her. Instead she greeted Anthony and spoke only swift necessities in Edward's direction.

In return, Edward was cordial, but clipped. He never hung around for long and seemed most anxious to put distance between himself and Bella.

It was the clue that she needed to finally assure herself that Derek had been wrong about what he'd said about Edward. Edward most definitely did not want to be more than friends. Because although Bella could be just as cold and distant as Edward was being, she took no comfort in it.

But it appeared as if Edward did. While Bella felt crushed under the weight of their disagreement, Edward seemed to be thriving; preferring their limited interactions.

Therefore, although Bella loved having Anthony with her in the mornings and evenings, Thursday brought with it the peace of not having to start her day wondering what kind of mood Edward was going to be in when she opened the door to him.

Friday was even nicer, because on top of an Edward-asshole-free morning, it was the end of the week and Bella had just received the DVD boxed set of one of her favorite shows in the mail. She had also managed to successfully avoid a tongue lashing from Rosalie about how rude she'd been to Derek (she hadn't bothered to call him either) and her mother wasn't pressuring her to come home for Thanksgiving. They were small blessings, but Bella would take what she could get.

Armed with the decision not to focus too much on Edward and where she stood with him, Bella went off to start her Friday with high hopes and the promise of a good weekend.

Of course that decision lasted only as long as it took to find Anthony absent from school after the morning bell rang.

"_He can be absent just like any other student, Bella", _she silently reminded herself. But that didn't keep her from wondering and glancing up at his empty seat every few minutes.

She realized then that she was approaching dangerous territory when it came to Anthony. She felt a sense of ownership in his life, when really she had none.

A fact that was further reiterated twenty minutes later when Anthony did appear…with Vicki.

"Sorry. Rough morning," Vicki mustered up an insincere apology. "We got a late start."

_Ugh. We…well fuck you, too, Edward._

Bella ignored Vicki the best she could as she led Anthony to his seat. She looked him over to make sure everything was in place and then berated herself once she realized what she was doing.

She wasn't the only person able to care for Anthony and the sooner she realized that the better, because from the looks of things, Vicki wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

Instead, Bella needed to focus on being Anthony's teacher while she was in the classroom and his chaperone, chef and caregiver three mornings and afternoons a week outside of that. The sooner she realized that that was all she was, the happier she'd be.

It was a pep talk she continued to have with herself throughout the day and again when Vicki appeared to pick Anthony up from school that afternoon.

Distraction was the tactic of the evening. So Bella put on her most comfortable pair of sweats, pulled her hair into a ponytail, made a snack and slipped the first off many DVDs into her player.

She had just sat down with her bowl of air-popped popcorn when her phone rang. She glanced at the clock and saw that it was nearly nine o'clock at night. It was either Rosalie or her mother since they were the only people who called her so late.

Bella glared at the shrieking phone. She was certain it was Rosalie, and therefore was not in the mood to answer. Bella had been surreptitiously avoiding Rosalie ever since Saturday night. A week had passed and so far all she'd endured were two emails, one investigative and one scathing. At any moment she expected Rosalie to show up at her door and demand to know why Bella wasn't as enamored with Derek as Rosalie seemed to be. But until then, a phone call would probably lessen the blow.

"Hello?" Bella answered, readying herself for a force to be reckoned with.

"Is this Bella?"

Definitely not Rosalie.

"Yes…who's this?" Bella asked.

"This is Vicki," she said in a huff. "Look, I have a problem. Anthony is here and something's wrong with him. He's…freaking me out. I figured that since you're his teacher you might know something…plus yours was the only number on this emergency list."

Bella's mind rushed to catch up with what she was being told. Anthony was with Vicki. Vicki was scared because of something Anthony was doing.

"Where's Edward?" Bella asked.

"He's out of town at some fucking training or something," Vicki sounded frantic.

"Okay, where's Anthony? What's he doing?" Bella was rushing around her living room as if she had a plan.

"He's sitting in the bathtub. He won't talk to me or look at me. The only thing he'll say is 'Gus'. What the hell is that?" Vicki sounded near hysterical.

"Did something happen?" Bella asked.

"I don't need this shit!" Vicki yelled. "I could be at work earning overtime pay, but no! I'm stuck here with this psycho kid that isn't even potty-trained!"

"Did you want me to come get him?" Bella tried not to sound too eager. She was sure that if Vicki knew how much Bella actually wanted Anthony, she wouldn't let her have him. After all, Edward had entrusted Anthony to Vicki and not her.

"Well, Edward thinks he's with me…I just thought you might know something about him to make him snap out of what he's doing," Vicki said.

"Oh. Well…I don't know what to tell you, Vicki," Bella said as she set aside her contempt for the woman on the other end of the phone line and tried a different approach. "If you really need to earn that overtime, I could explain things to Edward. I mean, I'm sure he'd understand. Times are hard and overtime is hard to come by."

"It sure fuckin' is," Vicki agreed. "Okay…if you want to come pick him up, I'm going to call in and let my client know I'm coming."

"I'll be there as fast as I can. All I need is your address," Bella said.

As she hastened out the door, she gave no thought to the fact that she was once again "helping" Edward without his permission. All that she knew was that Anthony was in some sort of trouble and she wouldn't rest easy until she knew that he was all right.

The directions that Vicki had given Bella were easy enough to follow and in less than twenty minutes, Bella had found the duplex. In the dark of night she could barely make out the numbers affixed to the paneling or the white sedan parked in the open garage.

Panic seized Bella as she jogged toward the front door and pounded on it to signal her arrival.

"Don't hit my door so hard! Damn, I thought you were the police or something," Vicki said when she threw the door open.

"Did you call the police?" Bella asked, fearing that Anthony was worse off than she'd anticipated.

"No," Vicki looked at her like she was a lunatic. "He's in there," she pointed toward the bathroom.

Bella rushed down the hallway and as soon as she laid eyes on Anthony, she knew there was more to the story than Vicki was telling her.

Though Anthony _was_ in the bathtub, he wasn't taking a bath. He was simply sitting in an empty bathtub with his pajamas on. His face was streaked with dry tears and when Bella neared him, she saw that his body involuntarily shook with dry sobs.

"Anthony?" Bella said his name softly.

When he continued to stare at the wall, Bella grew fearful. She crouched down beside him and placed her hand on his back. He jumped slightly.

"Anthony, it's me…Bel-Miss Swan. I was hoping that I could take you to my house. Would that be okay with you? Do you want to come with me?" She continued to rub his back in small circles, hoping for a reaction.

Slowly he nodded.

Relief fueled Bella into action and she reached down to pull Anthony out of the tub.

"Be careful. He's wet," Vicki said from the doorway of the bathroom. She'd come in to see if Bella had any more success with Anthony than she'd had.

_Wet?_

Bella looked at the front of Anthony's motorcycle themed pajamas and noticed that they were slightly darkened at the crotch.

"Did you make him sit in the bathtub because he had an accident?" Bella turned and looked at Vicki disbelievingly.

"Hey, he's way too old to be pissing himself. Maybe if he sits in it awhile he'll figure out how to make it to the bathroom on time," Vicki sneered.

_If I don't get out of here, I'm going to beat this bitch into a coma._

"Where are his clothes?" Bella asked as she inhaled and exhaled through her nose. She knew that until she actually got Anthony out of Vicki's home, Vicki was still in control and could call off the 'rescue' at any moment. It wouldn't be good for her or Anthony if Bella lost her temper.

Vicki disappeared and reappeared holding Anthony's backpack. "That's everything. Edward only had one day of training, so he didn't pack much."

Bella quickly switched out Anthony's wet clothes for dry ones and got him out of Vicki's place as soon as she could.

They didn't even say goodbye.

Anthony still wasn't saying much to Bella, regardless of how many topics of conversation she threw at him.

"I want Gus," he'd answer to every other question. Even when Bella asked him where Gus was, Anthony merely stated that he wanted him.

At home, Bella's promise of hot chocolate after a warm bath fell on deaf ears. Bella placed Anthony's pajamas in the washing machine before starting the water for Anthony's bath. The entire time she worked around him, Anthony stood against the front door and Bella feared that he would try to escape through it.

But Anthony remained stoic and immobile.

"Come on Anthony. Let's get you in the bathtub."

He continued to be disengaged as Bella led him toward the bathroom, but as soon as she began removing his clothes to lift him into the tub, Anthony began howling and crying.

"Don't spank me! Don't spank me!" he screamed.

"Anthony, calm down," Bella tried to comfort him. "Of course I'm not going to spank you. I'd never spank you!"

Still Anthony tried to hide his backside from her and resisted getting into the tub.

"If you don't want to take a bath, you don't have to, but I need to wash your legs off from where you had an accident. Otherwise you'll itch," Bella explained.

"I don't want to take a bath," Anthony cried.

"Okay," Bella readily agreed. "Come here, baby," she held out her arms and Anthony all but fell into them.

As nonchalantly as she could, Bella questioned Anthony about his outburst.

"Did Vicki spank you, Anthony?"

He nodded.

Because his naked bottom was exposed to her, Bella hesitantly looked down, fearful of what she would do if she saw marks of any kind on his body.

Luckily, she didn't.

"Do you know why Vicki spanked you?"

But instead of answer, Anthony started to cry harder so Bella abandoned the line of questioning and tried to keep her own tears from spilling over as she held him until he settled down.

"Anthony, I'm going to get a washcloth to wipe you down, all right? I'll be right back," Bella said soothingly as she quickly ducked out of the bathroom.

She returned just as Anthony was lowering himself down into the warm, bubbly water – a sign that he felt safe once again.

After his bath, Bella dressed Anthony in a clean t-shirt and a pair of underwear before wrapping him in a warm blanket while they waited for his pajamas to dry.

"Do you like cocoa, Anthony?" Bella asked.

He shook his head that he did not.

"Do you want to watch a movie?"

Again, a silent no.

When Bella asked Anthony if he was tired, he reiterated that he wanted Gus.

In other words, Anthony wanted his mother and grandmother.

Because she didn't know what else to do, Bella held Anthony on her lap, and tightened the blanket around him.

"You know, I remember thinking that Gus was great when you brought him to school for show and tell," Bella began, hoping that she wasn't making a monumental mistake by encouraging Anthony to talk about Gus. "And I love the name Gus. How did you come up with a name like that?"

When her question was met with dead air, Bella opened her mouth to speak about Gus's unique color.

"I like the name Gus." Anthony's small voice, however, cut off Bella's.

"And you said he was born in…where was that again?"

"Grandmaland."

"Grandmaland. That sounds like a nice place. I've never been. Would I like it?"

Anthony nodded.

"Why would I like it?"

"Because it's fun. And Grandma lives there and she give me cookies all the time."

"And do you know why she gives you cookies all the time?"

Anthony shook his head.

"It's because you're such a good boy and you're so sweet and because she loves you very much." Bella hoped that her words were not only encouraging, but that they also undid some of the horrible things he'd heard Vicki say about him.

"She doesn't love me anymore," Anthony sighed. "She's gone."

"Can I tell you something about grandmas?" Bella didn't wait for permission before she went on. "Grandmas love with such a big love that it stays around long after they're gone. That goes for mommies and daddies, too."

"But how can they love me if they're gone?"

Bella was very aware that Anthony was no longer using Gus as a shield to hide behind. He was asking about his mother and his grandmother for himself.

And his heart was hanging on her answer.

"What kind of special things did you do with your mom and your grandma?" Bella asked after a moment of thinking.

"Um…we read books," Anthony answered.

"Did they have a favorite book to read you?"

"Seven Little Rabbits," Anthony giggled as he said the title.

Bella was disheartened that she didn't have or know that story.

"What else? What did you do besides read books?"

"Um…make cookies and go swimming and sing songs."

"What kind of songs did you sing?"

"You Are My Sunshine. It's my favorite song."

"I remember," Bella said as she ran her hand through his unruly hair. "And _you_ remember because your mother and your grandmother made great memories for you. Memories are what we make with people who mean a lot to us, so that they'll know how much we love them, and they love us, even after they're gone."

Anthony was so quiet that Bella thought he'd fallen asleep. She tightened her hold on him and began to gently rock him, softly singing his favorite song and wondering how he'd react if she put him to bed in the guest bedroom.

"He didn't say goodbye," Anthony said flatly a few minutes later.

His voice startled Bella. "Who didn't say goodbye?"

"He didn't."

"Who's he?" Bella pressed, knowing full well whom Anthony was referring to.

"Dad."

"_Your_ dad?"

Anthony nodded.

"How come you don't call him Daddy, Anthony?"

"Because he never told me to."

The answer was so simple, yet so loaded in its uttering.

As Bella continued to rock Anthony in her arms, she thought of the many things she'd learned about him, and how much more there was to know…and how much more _he_ needed to know.

However, none of that information could come from Bella. She had learned, quite brashly, from Edward, when it was time for her to know her place; when to hold her tongue and let Anthony hear from the one person he needed to most.

Yet, that didn't stop Bella from letting _Edward_ know a thing or two about how she was feeling. So when Anthony had finally fallen into a deep enough sleep, Bella transferred him into the "blue bed" before fishing her phone out of her purse and sending Edward a text message. The anguish she felt for Anthony transferred to anger as she messaged Edward without regard for how he might receive it:

_Edward, through a weird turn of events, Anthony is with me right now. He's fine. Just know to be wary of me when you pick him up. I have half a mind to kick your ass. _

_ -the delirious bitch_


	16. Chapter 16 Things Can Only Get Better

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 16 – Things Can Only Get Better**

"Edward, it's late. I say we just call it a night and pick up Anthony in the morning," Vicki said as her fingers languidly traveled up and down Edward's arm.

Inwardly, Edward groaned at Vicki's cleverly concealed request to spend the night with him.

"No. I told him that I'd pick him up tonight, so that's what I need to do. He's not used to sleeping away from me yet," Edward explained.

Truth be told, Edward was in no mood to be around anyone. What had happened at dinner had left him feeling emasculated, once again, and indebted – with a capital debt.

Not only had Vicki and Bella been engaged in some sort of …he didn't even know what to call it, but it was as if they were scolding him through one other, telling him what he should do with the recently received funds on Anthony's behalf. And just because he _happened_ to be doing the exact thing that Bella had suggested – moving to a larger home – he was doing it because _he _knew he needed to do it. He'd already put in his thirty day notice at his apartment and found a townhouse that wasn't that much more than he was already paying.

And if Bella and Vicki's unsolicited Ann Lander's session wasn't enough, cue Alice to get involved. He was barely able to make out Alice's drunken ramblings, but it sounded like Bella had covered the cost of the deposit the utility company was requiring for his delinquency so that all he'd had to do was pay the past due amount.

Just when he'd thought that he and Bella were coming upon equal footing, she went and did something like that. He'd been looking forward to fixing Bella's truck, knowing that he'd be saving her at least a hundred dollars in labor costs. But now she'd one-uped him again by paying his $250 deposit.

Knowing that he had to not only cover his current rent, but provide a security deposit and the rent on the new place as well, Edward knew that paying Bella back in the near future wasn't an option.

He sighed as the weight of it all took up residence on his shoulders. Vicki misunderstood the gust, and moved her hand to squeeze his shoulder.

"You could use a little break, Edward," Vicki pressed. "I'm sure the sitter wouldn't mind keeping him."

"Vicki, I gave Anthony my word and I'm going to keep it. It's something that's…very important to him," Edward mumbled.

It wasn't quite a character flaw, but Edward had noticed that whenever he told Anthony something, his son hung onto it like it was a sacred vow. Whether it was a day at the park, an ice cream treat or a new lunchbox, Anthony could be relentless until Edward followed through on whatever he'd promised.

At first, it was extremely annoying. But when Edward realized that this was how Anthony was learning to trust him, he settled down and tried his hardest to be consistent in word and deed.

Vicki settled back against the passenger seat in a huff and began to pout. "I mean, I know you're pissed at that hobo teacher, but don't take it out on me."

_Hobo teacher? What are you, blind?_

Instead of respond, Edward simply dropped Vicki off at her house before going to pick of Anthony, in hopes of firmly driving home his point: he was not interested in a physical relationship with her.

"Vicki," Edward cut the ignition and turned toward her. "I…I really appreciate you being there for me, lately, with all of the changes in my life. It's nice to have someone there from before…to ground me. But…I can't…_we_ can't be how we were before." Edward looked directly into her eyes. "I'm sorry if I wasn't clear on that before."

"So you don't want to be friends?" Vicki asked, as if that was all she was angling for.

"Friends, yes. But that's…all."

"Well, I know that, Edward."

"You do?" Edward felt silly for having to state it, thinking that he'd misread her signals. "Yeah, well…okay."

"I told you I'd help you, and I meant it, Edward." Vicki accentuated her words by swirling her fingertips in the hair at the nape of his neck. "But don't expect me to forget how good we were together. Because I can't."

"And don't expect me to go there, Vicki. Because _I_ can't," Edward said in return.

"Maybe not now," Vicki smiled coquettishly as she fingered the latch on the door. "But who knows what the future holds." And before Edward could utter a denial, she was out of the car and halfway to her door.

As Edward headed toward the babysitter's home, he began to meditate on the numerous reasons why he and Vicki had broke up in the first place. The number one reason being that she never _heard_ him when he spoke to her. She would get an idea in her head, and she was relentless until she got her way, whether Edward was in agreement with her or not. It had been exhausting and Edward was in no rush to revisit that time in his life.

Besides, try as he might, he could not shake his attraction to a certain brown-haired educator.

But after tonight's fiasco, he knew he had to. Maybe she wasn't interested in Derek after all, but she did seem to like his type. And fancy cars, careers and clothes wasn't Edward's thing and he wasn't going to pretend they were for anyone…or any woman.

"Oh, Mr. Cullen, I wasn't expecting you back tonight. I've already put Anthony to bed. He's using one of Taylor's old sleeping bags."

Edward smiled. "Oh…sorry. I thought I told you I'd be back for him tonight."

"Well, you mentioned it, but it was getting late…"

Anthony appeared before them at that moment and put to rest any further conversation about whether or not Edward should disturb him to take him home.

"We haven't really done the overnight sleepover thing yet, so, I promised him I'd pick him up," Edward explained as he watched Anthony eagerly put on his shoes.

"Oh, yes. And if you promised, you'd better hold to it, or he'll never let you forget it," Taylor's mother laughed.

_So, other kids are like that, too?_

As Edward paid Taylor's mother for her services, he silently mused that the evening hadn't been worth the two pizzas and six-pack of beer he could have bought with the money he used to pay the sitter.

Instead of a taxing night on the town with company he didn't enjoy, Edward could have relaxed at home with Anthony, who had no tolerance for staying out late at night.

It was evident that he was extremely tired because before Edward made it to the main road, Anthony lay wilted against the back of the seat in a peaceful slumber.

Once he'd gotten home and transferred Anthony to the bed, Edward sauntered into his kitchen and emptied his pockets. He stared at the cell phone as he laid it down, half expecting it to ring. Bella had been so persistent in her quest to get him to speak to her that he was sure she was going to phone him at any minute.

And what would he say?

What could he say? He didn't need a billboard with flashing neon lights to tell him that he was sending Bella mixed messages. He knew that. He knew that he'd praised her when she'd helped him, without prompting, with the government aid information for Anthony. Yet tonight he'd all but bitten her head off when he told her that he didn't want her help unless he directly asked for it.

And though he was sure Bella was convinced that it was anger holding his tongue, it was really humiliation, confusion and another emotion that he wasn't even sure they'd invented a name for yet, which held him silent.

The humiliation was obvious. There he sat at a table full of friends, and well…Derek, in the middle of a nice restaurant, only to be revealed as the irresponsible, broke bastard that couldn't take care of his shit. That heightened feeling of embarrassment rated second to the realization that Bella had known about his enforced blackout for all that time. All those moments when Edward had thought that something was actually happening between them, that Bella might have been becoming interested, when the reality was that she'd seen him as a poor, unfortunate soul whom she had to bail out…again. And he didn't want to be that person, especially not to Bella.

After two episodes of COPS, it became apparent that Bella wasn't going to call, so Edward had stressed over how he'd react for no reason.

The onscreen television listing announced that it was one hour into Sunday and Edward realized that he'd better get to bed because Anthony woke up at the same time every day, regardless of whether it was a school day or not.

"I've gotta teach that kid the art of sleeping in," Edward said as he stood up and stretched. Something nagged at the edge of his consciousness as he struggled to remember why the fact that it was Sunday was supposed to be significant.

Then he remembered.

He was supposed to fix Bella's truck.

"Shit," he muttered.

It wasn't that he didn't want to follow through on his promise. In truth, he had been looking forward to taking on the task because it was the one thing he knew he could do for Bella that she couldn't do for herself. She'd been so happy when he'd offered to replace her alternator and had looked at him, awestruck in her gratefulness.

But Edward knew he needed time to get over the sting of what had just transpired so that he wouldn't say something to her that he'd regret.

Not that he considered Bella to be malicious, but she really had him by the short ones, seeing as how he had to start his new shift the next day and she could call at any minute and say that she wasn't going to watch Anthony. Especially with the way Vicki had been going on about it, calling Bella's kindness a conflict of interest.

That was another trait of Vicki's that had evaded Edward's memory: her jealousy. Well, the kicker was that there was no reason to be jealous of Bella. She dated the Dereks of the world. Not the Edwards.

But the Dereks wouldn't know an alternator from an air conditioner, so Edward was going to find a way to fix that truck – he just had to think of a way to do it without crossing Bella's path.

Perhaps he'd figured it out in his dreams, or maybe there'd been great clarity in being woken up by his five-year-old after less than six hours of sleep, but when Edward's feet hit the floor later that morning, he knew exactly what he was going to do.

But before he could proceed, he needed the right tools, and that meant going to the man who'd collected every tool ever invented: Emmett McCarty.

After a quick breakfast of cereal and slightly burnt toast, Edward made his way to Emmett's house, unannounced and with Anthony in tow. It was football season, so there was little chance of not catching Emmett at home.

Sure enough, as Edward walked up the narrow stone path to his friend's front door, Emmett's booming voice bellowed through the front window, praising his favorite team for a job well done.

"Emmett, open up, man," Edward called as he pounded on the door.

Emmett swiftly came to the door, only taking his eyes off the screen long enough to offer his fist to Anthony for "knuckles".

"Titans are up. First down," Emmett explained.

Edward nodded and waited until a commercial break to let Emmett know that he hadn't come to watch the game.

"I just need your torque wrench," he said.

"What for?"

"I gotta fix…Bella's truck."

Emmett immediately smiled. "Well that argument didn't last long at all. What'd you do? Drop Vicki off and then head over to Bella's?"

"Emmett!" Edward slid a sideways glance at Anthony to see if he'd heard, but he was busy watching a cartoon octopus peddle the need for air fresheners on TV. "I haven't even talked to her, but I told her I'd fix her truck today, so I'm gonna."

Emmett laughed, unconvinced that Edward was merely trying to keep his word. "If I was pissed at some chick, the last thing I'd do is fix her truck…for free."

"She's watching Anthony for me while I work, for free, and if I don't fix her truck, then she'll have no way to get Anthony to school, so just give me the damn wrench and shut the fuck up," Edward hissed the last two words.

"Oh, I see what you're doing. You're going over there to make sure she's still gonna babysit for you," Emmett said smugly.

"I'm going to fix the truck because I said I would. I'm not even gonna talk to her."

"How are you gonna fix her truck without talking to her? You gotta get the keys."

"Why do I need the keys? This is Forks. No one locks their cars."

"How are you going to start it?"

"I'll jump the starter."

"Dude, you're gonna get arrested."

"Since when is fixing a truck illegal?"

Emmett stared at Edward for a long while with a silly grin on his face. But then the game resumed and he quickly told Edward that he didn't have the wrench before returning his attention to the television screen.

"What do you mean you don't have it?" Edward asked. _All of that grief and he didn't even have it?_

"I think it's over at Jasper's. He took it last weekend."

"What the hell? What's he borrowing tools for? Jasper can't even fix a sandwich."

"I don't know. Remember those lame-ass wind chimes he used to make all the time? Probably something like that. Anyway, go get it from him. And then bring it back when you're done. Jasper never returns shit."

And with that, Edward knew he was officially dismissed.

Fortunately, Edward had more luck at Jasper's house, though he still had to go through the third degree.

"So you guys are talking, then?" Jasper asked when Edward told him why he needed the coveted tool.

"No."

"Then how're you gonna to fix her truck?"

Alice walked in before Edward could answer, wearing a scowl and rubbing her temple. He took one look at her and shut his mouth. The last thing he wanted to do was give Alice ammunition for her next drunken outburst.

When Alice focused in on Edward standing next to Jasper, her expression took on the tone of guilt and regret.

"Oh, Edward. Jasper told me what happened last night. I am _so_ sorry," she began.

"Don't worry about it," Edward held his hand up and stopped her. Sure, he was irritated by Alice and her bad timing, and if he had to guess, he'd say that she was the one who told Bella about his misfortune in the first place; but there was no use in expressing any ill feelings to Alice because going after her was about the only thing that would rile Jasper up – and that wasn't something Edward wanted to experience on a Sunday afternoon.

"Did you and Bella work things out?" Alice questioned. "Because she was only trying to help, Edward. She really does care about the-"

"Alice, just…drop it, okay?" Edward begged. "Jas, can I get that wrench? I told Emmett I'd bring it back to him." _After I use it._

Jasper went to his garage to fetch the commodity and Alice was successfully thrown off by the request. As soon as Jasper put the wrench in Edward's hand, he made a quick exit, just in case Alice became investigative once again.

Now that all of his friends and their prying minds were out of the way, the only issue left to contend with was how well Anthony would fare for the hour or so it would take to fix Bella's truck.

The coloring book that Edward had suggested Anthony bring wasn't nearly as interesting as the prospect of seeing Miss Swan. The closer Edward got to Bella's apartment, the more excited Anthony got.

"I'm gonna pick out a page for Miss Swan to color," Anthony said as he thumbed through the book of generic superheroes.

"We're not going to see Miss Swan," Edward told him.

"But I thought you said we were gonna fix the truck."

"I did and we are," Edward smiled at the use of 'we'. "But we don't need Miss Swan for that. I'm just going to put a part in and then we'll go."

"How long is that gonna take?"

"About an hour or so."

"Aww! That's a long time!" Anthony protested.

It was times like these that made Edward wish he had a DVD player installed in his car. One movie and Anthony would have been effectively occupied while Edward quickly and inconspicuously installed the alternator in Bella's truck.

But Edward didn't have a DVD player or anything other than a bargain center coloring book to entertain his son. And when he saw the sulking expression on Anthony's face, the negativity set in and Edward became convinced that his endeavor to fix Bella's truck without her knowledge was going to be a disaster.

So he was pleasantly surprised when he arrived at her apartment to find her truck parked in its usual parking space – unlocked.

As he raced to pop the hood on her truck, Edward eyed the few residents that happened by, convinced that they were aware of what he was doing and were going to knock on Bella's door and expose him at any minute.

In fact, he was so convinced was he that things weren't going to go his way, that Edward didn't bother to rejoice over the fact that the truck's alternator was located on the front end of the engine, and would thus cut the time of the job in half, since he'd only have to disconnect a belt, the battery and a few bolts to get the old part out and replace it with the new.

Ominous rain clouds loomed overhead and threatened a torrential downpour every step of the way. Edward sliced and scraped his knuckles as he worked quickly in fear of the rain and Bella's imminent emergence.

As he worked, moving wires and disconnecting cables, Edward's mind flashed back to a time in his teen years when working on cars had been his safe harbor, his ticket to peace during a tumultuous time.

Images of his life at the age of fifteen flickered before his eyes. Suddenly he was that tall, thin kid again, standing over the raised hood of a car, pretending to know what an ignition coil did so that he wouldn't stand out among the boys in the group home where he lived.

Cars were the only common ground in that residence for the damned, and every raised hood and chassis provided each god-forsaken boy the opportunity to forget about the circumstances and tragedies that had brought him together with the other lost souls.

"I have to go to the bathroom." Anthony's voice, calling to Edward from the rolled down window in the back seat, catapulted Edward back to the present and away from his dark past.

"Okay. Just a minute. I'm almost done," Edward said as he eyed the connection of the truck's starter and the battery he'd just placed back in the truck. After resituating the wires between the two parts, and with the aid of a piece of electrical wire, Bella's truck came to life. Edward was so pleased with himself that he stood back and watched as everything ran as it should.

"I have to go to the bathroom. Bad," Anthony called again.

Edward temporarily disconnected the battery to kill the engine, before replacing the wires and shutting the hood of Bella's truck. He casually glanced toward her front door, wondering what her reaction would be when she found out he'd fixed her truck without her presence. Would she be just as grateful as she'd been when he'd initially offered to repair it, or would she be angry? And more importantly, would she consider them even?

"I really have to go to the bathroom," Anthony sounded more insistent.

"Okay, come on." Edward opened the door for Anthony and then led him to a concealed area behind a wall of hedges.

"Outside?" Anthony protested when it became apparent what his father was expecting of him.

"Sure. Just consider it watering the plants." Edward pointed to an oddly colored ruby leaf. "See that there? Aim for that leaf. See if you can hit it."

Anthony did as he was told and was delighted to find that in the arena of urinating outdoors, he had perfect aim.

Edward glanced at Bella's front door one last time before he retreated to his own vehicle. He sat, with one hand on the handle, weighing whether or not he should go knock on her door and let her know her truck had been repaired. What if she was worried about how she'd get to work the next day?

"Why come we're just sitting here?" Anthony wanted to know. "Are we waiting for Miss Swan?"

Just the sound of her name seemed to cause all of the nerves in Edward's body to stand on end.

"No," Edward answered, swiftly deciding that he was not going to knock on her door. Instead, with the skill of a professional coward, Edward retrieved a piece of paper from his glove compartment and simply scribbled: _Your truck is running now._ He rolled the paper into a cylindrical tube and wedged it between her doorknob and the doorjamb. Once he was back in his car, he sent her a quick text message, letting her know that he planned on being at her house at 5:30 the next morning to drop off Anthony.

There. The lines of communication had been opened, and if she wanted to inquire about her truck being repaired, then he'd gladly let her know that the mission had already been accomplished.

But Bella didn't respond for a long while, and when she finally did, there wasn't one word about her truck, just that she would be ready to receive Anthony in the morning and that she needed the taco fixings Edward had from their mutual grocery shopping trip. And she reminded him of his open invitation to dinner.

It was a peace offering. She was offering him tacos in exchange for a talk. She wanted him to hear her side of things.

Well, he already knew her side of things. She felt sorry for the weak and victimized Edward Cullen, so much so that she had to reach into her perfectly padded checking account to pay for what he couldn't.

Edward shook his head, physically indicating what he'd mentally decided. There was no way that Edward was going to sit across the table from Bella so that she could give him even more handouts in the form of free food.

So the dinner invitation went without regard, though when Edward showed up the next morning, he made sure that Anthony gave Bella the ingredients she'd requested.

While Bella interacted with Anthony, completely fawning over his new super hero lunchbox, Edward stole a glance at her. How it was possible for someone to look that appealing that early in the morning, he would never know.

What he _did_ know was that he had to get out of there, and quick, before he found some evidence that he'd presumed wrong and that Bella really had been interested in Derek.

Edward fidgeted nervously as he waited for the conversation between Bella and Anthony to still for a moment.

"Do you have everything you need?" he asked his son. It was as much a question for Bella as it was for Anthony. Yet when Bella turned to him and started to answer him directly, Edward panicked and began walking backward toward the door.

"I've got to get going," he told her. He tossed a few words about when he'd return over his shoulder as he held on to the doorknob, but Bella was persistent and continued what she had to say.

She simply told him that he was free to bring Anthony over in his pajamas and she'd get him ready in the morning. But what Edward heard was that he was getting Anthony up too early in the morning – that he should have known that his son would need more sleep. I was another tally mark under the 'bad dad' category for Edward Cullen.

"No, I can do it," Edward stressed. _Really, Bella, I'm not as inept as you think I am. _His words came out harsher than he'd intended, so he attempted to soften them with a farewell and a quiet "Thank you".

Edward happily threw himself into work once he arrived. After a couple of hours, a union representative came to the site to have Edward sign a massive amount of paperwork regarding his new schedule. Jasper stood by watching the exchange and shoveling completed paperwork into Edward's awaiting employee file.

The day passed at a relative pace and Edward was sure that working a twelve-hour shift was going to be a piece of cake – but then at three in the afternoon, he hit the proverbial brick wall. His mind absolutely refused to remain focused on what he was doing, but instead consistently wandered to thoughts of Bella and Anthony. School was over and they were most likely headed to Bella's apartment. He wondered what they'd do…what was Miss Swan's afterschool routine?

Edward shook off the images and went to the break room in search of coffee or caffeine in any form.

He was happy to find a half-full coffee carafe, in addition to his friends, waiting for him.

"So how's the first day?" Jasper asked.

"It's great," Edward said, not wanting to complain about the job already.

"Are you tired?" Emmett asked.

Edward nodded. "A bit."

"Wait until tomorrow," Jasper grinned. "You're gonna feel like you got hit by a truck…at least that's what I've heard."

"Great," Edward muttered.

"But look on the bright side, you'll have four days to catch up on sleep."

"Yeah, it's cool that I can sleep while Anthony's in school."

"Speaking of school…did you drop Anthony off at Bella's today?" Jasper asked.

Edward nodded, hoping his silence was enough to prompt his friend to move on and discuss another topic.

"Did she say anything about you fixing her truck?" Emmett asked.

Edward sighed. "No. But I was in and out of there."

"Does she even _know_ you fixed it?" Emmett asked.

"Hey, maybe she'll think Derek did it," Jasper joked. "Since that guy knows everything," he added sarcastically.

"That guy is a pussy," Edward frowned. He wasn't worried about Bella giving Derek credit for his work. After all, he'd left a note.

"Tell that to Rose," Emmett huffed. "She acted like he had a bronze dick."

"Well…I wasn't going to say anything," Jasper looked over at Emmett. "But, now that you brought it up, what's up with that?"

Edward looked over at Emmett to hear his response. He, too, had noticed that Rosalie seemed to be a little too interested in anything and everything Derek had to say.

Emmett shook his head. "She says she just respects him as a co-worker and shit," he shrugged.

Edward and Jasper traded glances while Emmett wasn't looking. Perhaps their friend was simply in denial, but they could easily see the danger looming ahead between Emmett and Rosalie if he didn't open his eyes and see what was going on. Because if things truly were the way they appeared Saturday night, Emmett was about to lose his girl to a dork.

The last hour of Edward's workday passed like jam though a sieve, but finally, it was time to end his day. He thought of Bella and Anthony, most likely sitting at her table enjoying homemade tacos. Edward began to salivate at the thought. He hadn't had homemade tacos in a long time.

Knowing that he'd have a hard time resisting if she offered, Edward drove through the McDonald's drive-thru on his way to pick up Anthony; and because Hot Wheels were the featured toy of the week, he picked up a Happy Meal for Anthony as well.

Bella didn't bother to hide her irritation at the action.

"I told you I was making tacos," she pointed to the Happy Meal. "He's already eaten," she said of Anthony.

Edward couldn't look Bella in the eye, but he could tell by the intonation of her voice that she'd just about had it with him. He needed to make a quick exit – and not just because the aroma of the tacos was making him dizzy with want.

"Anthony, c'mon. We've got to get going," Edward called toward the front room where Anthony was sitting on the couch with a book.

Anthony looked really disappointed to leave as he gave Bella a quick hug. But then his eyes locked onto the McDonald's bag Edward held that had toy cars depicted all over it. "Is that for me?"

"Yep, you can have it in the car," Edward said, hoping it would make Anthony move a little faster.

The plan worked, and Edward and Anthony were back in his car and buckled in in record time.

"Oh no!" Anthony bellowed from the backseat. "I forgot my lunchbox!"

"We'll get it tomorrow," Edward said, not wanting to go back into Bella's apartment.

"But what will I put my lunch in?" Anthony asked. "Please don't leave it. I need to find my lunchbox."

Edward turned to see the distraught look on Anthony's face, and it was hard to ignore the fact that with just a little effort, he could put his little boy's mind at ease.

"Okay…just…stay put. I'll be right back." Edward locked the doors and looked around for strange people before leaving Anthony alone in the car. The only person he saw was a lady sitting at the far end of the complex in a white car, but she didn't seem to be paying much attention.

When Bella opened the door, Edward made the mistake of looking directly at her. Immediately he could tell that she'd been crying, and he didn't need to ask what was wrong to know that it was his fault.

"Anthony forgot his lunchbox," Edward explained. Guilt took hold of his heart and squeezed when he noticed that Bella wouldn't even look at him.

Without a word, Bella went and retrieved the lunchbox and was back, offering it to Edward mere minutes later.

He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it when he realized he had nothing _to_ say. An apology would only confuse her even more, because what would he be apologizing for? She _did_ piss him off for sticking her nose where it didn't belong and then keeping it from him. And she'd made him feel like an imbecile when she and Vicki tried to lay his life bare in the restaurant.

Bella was watching him for words, so he excused himself immediately, knowing that he had none to give.

When Edward made it back to his car, he noticed that someone had parked near him. Anthony was sitting in the backseat playing with his Happy Meal toy, and thankfully didn't look nervous at the near proximity of a stranger.

It wasn't until the sputtering sound of an engine sprang to life that Edward realized the car parked near to him had someone inside of it. His disinterest quickly turned to interest when he caught a glimpse of the driver and saw that a woman had carefully concealed herself with dark glasses and a scarf wrapped around her hair. It appeared as though she noticed Edward when he noticed her, and she hastily drove out of the complex.

He might not have given it a second thought except for it was the third time that week that he'd seen a white sedan that looked similar to the one that had just left. Though if he was being honest, he never paid enough attention to gather many details on the car.

Fatigue began to take its toll, and Edward abandoned his fleeting feelings about the oddly placed car and it's equally odd driver.

"Hey. There's something in here," Anthony said when he opened his lunchbox just shortly after walking through the front door.

Even before Anthony began removing containers, Edward knew that Bella had placed leftovers for him in Anthony's lunchbox. It was just like Bella to be that kind despite the fact that he was being such a jerk.

"Bella," Edward whispered in aggravation. If she didn't stop doing things for him, how was he ever going to measure up in her eyes? And it was a vicious circle, because the more she did for him, the more evident it became that he needed her to do more. It was a frightening realization.

After giving Anthony a quick bath, Edward sent him to bed, and adhered to the usual routine of leaving the hallway light on until Edward joined him.

The workday had consumed nearly every ounce of Edward's energy. After he scraped together enough clean clothes to get he and Anthony through the next couple days until he could do laundry, Edward put together a lunch for himself (tacos) and Anthony for the next day before he all but fell into bed beside his dreaming son.

The next day proved to be a lesson in truth regarding Jasper's words at how tired Edward was going to be on day two of his twelve-hour shifts. He hardly remembered going to bed that night, and when he woke up the next morning, he was horrified to see that he'd slept through his alarm.

He didn't bother dressing Anthony, since Bella had said that she wouldn't have a problem with getting him ready for school.

Anthony sat at the table and slurped down a bowl of cereal while Edward dashed to and fro around him trying to get ready for work. There was absolutely no time for a shower, so Edward doused his hair with water, put on deodorant and pulled on a pair of jeans, commando, before hurrying Anthony out the door.

At Bella's there wasn't any time for an exchange, so as soon as she opened the door, he wished Anthony a good day and then sprinted back to his car, praying all the way that he wouldn't spin out on the water logged roads or get a speeding ticket.

Edward tried to be as subtle as possible as he arrived at work ten minutes behind schedule. After clocking in, he quietly slid up to his workstation and began putting on safety equipment and pulling work orders.

"Cullen!" Barry, one of the line workers, called to Edward over the hubbub of machines. "Pete wants you in his office!"

"Shit," Edward muttered as he pulled off his gloves and headed for the metal stairs that led to the administrative offices on the second floor.

He tried to conjure up a good excuse for his tardiness as he trudged toward his supervisor's office. The last thing he wanted Pete to think was that the hours were too much for him or that being late was going to be a frequent occurrence.

"Hey, Pete," Edward stated as he made his entrance.

Pete motioned for Edward to have a seat. "We've got a problem, Edward."

"Yeah?" Edward had learned long ago never to volunteer any information until he had all the facts. He wasn't admitting anything until Pete told him exactly what the problem was.

"The union is threatening to pull the hours from the plant until you get your certification for the talkie tooter. You're trained to use it, but you don't have the official training," Pete explained.

"Pull the hours? What does that mean?" Edward asked.

"It means they'll allocate the twelve hour shift to another mill, and Edward, my experience with these things is that once the hours leave this plant, they never come back."

"So what do I have to do?"

"They're giving us seventy-two hours to get you certified. Problem is, the only certification within that time is on Friday in Spokane."

"Spokane!" Edward objected. "That's over seven hours away!"

"Well, of course we'd fly you out. You could go down on Thursday, take the course Friday, test and then fly home that night or the next morning."

"Pete…my son. I can't leave him…and I can't take him," Edward worried out loud.

"Well…if you don't do this training this week, Edward, I can't keep you on the three-twelve's. I'd like to, but the union won't allow it."

"Shit," Edward leaned forward and momentarily rested his head in his hands. He thought of all the plans he'd recently made based upon the new shift – and the new earnings. He'd already found a new place to move, not to mention the successful arrangement he had with Bella regarding Anthony.

"Can't your parents watch your little boy?" Pete asked. "A friend, maybe?"

"No. There isn't anyone," Edward shook his head. _Except Bella. _ But Edward didn't even want to entertain that thought. He couldn't impose on her again.

"Edward, I wouldn't push, but…you have to do this. You know that, don't you?"

Edward nodded solemnly. But having to and being able to were two entirely different things.

"Well…try to work things out for your kid and then let me know by tomorrow morning. The plant is willing to foot the bill for your last minute airfare, but that's all I can do."

"Yeah, I know," Edward said, his voice heavy laden with the sudden hardship. "I'll let you know as soon as I figure something out."

But Edward was sure he wasn't going to figure anything out, because there was no option for him.

"I heard," Jasper simply said when he found Edward in the hall a few moments later. "What are you going to do?"

"What can I do?" Edward asked his friend. "I'm just gonna have to lose the shift."

"Are you fucking serious? You can't ask Vicki?" Jasper was shocked that Edward would give up so easily.

"She works."

"Bella?"

"No!" Edward said adamantly.

"Dude, I get that she pissed you off, but this is big league stuff here. This is your job. You're gonna let that go because your pride was hurt?"

"It's not pride," Edward said in irritation. He looked left and right to make sure no one was looking. "Bella paid the deposit so I could get the power turned back on. That was $250. And now she's watching Anthony three days a week for free. And I can't fucking afford to pay her back right now, for either. If I ask her for anything else…it'll just be too much. And I need her to watch Anthony. I can't risk overextending her."

"But if you don't get this training, you won't need her to watch Anthony because you'll be out of a job."

"I'll just go back to my other shift."

"No, Edward. The plant will lose the hours. That means your job. You weren't replaced when you took this new shift. If you can't work this new shift, they'll give it to another guy at another plant that does have the certification."

"What the fuck?" Edward bristled. This changed things dramatically.

"Look…I'll…talk to Alice. I think she's got a couple days off coming to her. Maybe she can take Thursday and Friday off and watch Anthony," Jasper suggested.

"You think so?"

"I'll try. Come by tonight after you get Anthony and we'll try to work something out."

Edward was a little relieved after his conversation with Jasper, and when he picked up Anthony later that evening, he was hopeful that Jasper would have good news when he showed up at his house.

But Jasper didn't have good news. Actually, he had _no_ news because Alice had yet to make it home.

Fortunately, she arrived moments after Edward and Anthony showed up.

"I was supposed to be off today," Alice told Jasper as she walked through the door. She was in such a hurry to get her story out that she didn't notice Edward and Anthony. "But these idiots keep using all their sick time to go party, and then when they actually get sick, they come to work and spread their germs all over the place and get everyone else sick," Alice ranted. "We were down three clerks today. Three clerks! If I get sick, I'm seriously going to fuc- oh my gosh! Hi!" Alice suddenly noticed the guests in her home.

"Babe, I was kind of hoping you'd be able to do Edward a favor," Jasper began, signaling to Edward with a glance to let him handle it.

"What's that?" Alice asked. She seemed open to the idea, even though she didn't know what she was agreeing to. But she had wronged Edward by blabbing his business in a public forum, and she was anxious to right her wrong.

"Well…Edward has to go to a training class in Spokane and he needs someone to watch Anthony. I was kind of hoping…we could do it," Jasper said as he stroked her back.

"When?" Alice asked.

"Um…Thursday and Friday."

"Actually, I'd be leaving Thursday afternoon and coming back Friday. So…it'd just be one night."

"And what would I have to do? Take him to school, or what?" Alice asked.

"Pick him up from school on Thursday and take him and pick him up on Friday," Edward explained.

"Okay…just let me put a call in to my manager to see if I can get Friday off. I don't need to take Thursday off, right?" Alice asked.

"Not unless you can't make it to pick him up by five-thirty."

"I can pick him up," Jasper offered.

Alice phoned her manager at home and secured Friday as her day off. When she let Edward know that she'd watch Anthony for him, Edward felt relief for the first time since he'd arrived at work ten minutes late.

"Man, you look like you could use a beer," Jasper said after Alice had scooped Anthony up and took him in the living room.

"You have no idea," Edward sighed. "But I can't. I have to get home so I can call Pete and make arrangements for this trip."

"I'm glad it worked out for you, man."

"Yeah, thanks to you and Alice. Seriously, Jas, you saved my ass on this one."

"And you'd do it for me if you could."

That was about the extent of the bro-bonding that Edward and Jasper could handle, but when Edward called out to Anthony that it was time to go, Alice trailed him to the door, and she had a few words of her own for Edward.

"Not that I wouldn't have helped you anyway," Alice began, "But I need you to forgive me for my verbal diarrhea the other night."

"Yeah, Alice. Don't mention it," Edward said.

"And Bella. Please don't stay mad at Bella. Because the longer you're angry with her, the longer she'll stay angry with me," Alice pleaded.

Edward looked over Alice's head to Jasper, silently pleading with him to step in and rescue the moment. Jasper took the signal and wrapped his arm around Alice's waste. "This is a conversation for another time, babe. Edward has to call Pete ASAP."

Alice acquiesced and didn't say another word about Bella, for which Edward was eternally grateful. Because at that moment, Edward knew he didn't have the words to explain that his issues with Bella weren't about forgiveness.

It wasn't until after Edward had reached Pete and let him know the good news that Edward noticed how uncharacteristically quiet Anthony was being.

"Are you tired?" Edward asked as his son.

Anthony shook his head but laid back against the couch cushions like he'd just been reminded that he was.

"You don't look happy," Edward told him. He remembered Alice's words about having several sick co-workers and Edward vigorously hoped that Anthony wasn't coming down with something.

"I don't want Alice to babysit me," Anthony said quietly.

"Why not? Alice and Jasper are two of my closest friends, and they will take great care of you," Edward explained.

"But I want Miss Swan to babysit. I like going to her house."

"Well, Miss Swan will babysit you tomorrow just like we planned. Remember I told you that while I go to work you will be with Miss Swan?"

Anthony nodded slowly. Edward could tell that Anthony was getting confused, but he planned to explain to Anthony about his upcoming business trip after he picked him up from Bella's on Wednesday. His reasons for doing this were two-fold. First, he didn't want Anthony to dwell on the fact that Edward was going away and that he'd have to sleep away from him for the night. Second, Edward had long ago learned that Anthony was quite the parrot, and he didn't want him repeating Edward's plans to Bella the next day. The last thing Edward wanted was to make Bella feel like he wasn't satisfied with having her watch Anthony. He just needed to pay her back, at least for the electric bill, before he asked anything else of her.

She was absolutely the last person he wanted to think he was taking advantage of her kindness.

The next morning, when Edward opened Anthony's lunchbox to fill it with food, he saw that Bella wasn't one to take advantage of kindness, either. There was a small note folded up inside and when he opened it, he had to laugh at how clever she was:

_Dear Anthony,_

_ Please thank your dad for fixing my truck. It is running beautifully. _

_ I miss you already._

_ Miss Swan_

Though the note was addressed to Anthony, it clearly was written for Edward. She was respecting his non-verbal request for space.

"I miss you, too," Edward said quietly, even though he was sure that part of the note actually was meant for Anthony. He then instantly felt like a pussy for whispering words to no one in the middle of his kitchen.

After reading the note, Edward knew he had to contact Bella. She was repeatedly putting herself out there, reaching out to him, and he couldn't, in good conscience, continue to snub her. He would just have to bite the bullet and tell her that he'd pay her back as soon as he had the money, and if she refused, he would have to be persistent enough to instill in her mind that he was not taking her for granted.

It was too late, and he was much too tired to make that call right then, but he would certainly make a point of speaking to her in the morning.

Unfortunately, he didn't get the chance. From the moment Bella opened her door that morning, it was clear that she had no time or interest in speaking to Edward. She didn't even attempt to acknowledge him as she ushered Anthony inside and all but shut her door in Edward's face.

"Did you need something?" she asked him, as if it were an afterthought.

"Nope," Edward backed away from the door, partially disappointed and partially absolved of the guilt he felt for avoiding her. Now that she was avoiding him, he didn't have to shoulder the responsibility of their silence.

By the time Thursday arrived, Edward felt relieved that he didn't have to be confronted with his issues with Bella for the first time since they'd gotten in an argument. He drove Anthony to school, and used the short drive as a time to quell Anthony's fears.

"Guess what today is," Edward tried to make the day's plans sound exciting and adventurous.

"Is it your birthday?" Anthony guessed.

"Uh, no," Edward laughed. He hadn't expected Anthony to make a legitimate guess. "Today you get to spend the night at Jasper and Alice's house!"

Edward's revelation was met with complete silence, and when he turned to look at Anthony, he saw that his son looked terrified.

"Are you gonna spend the night, too?" Anthony asked.

"Remember, I have to get on an airplane and go to a class for work. Remember, we talked about it last night?"

"But I want to go with you."

"You can't, buddy. Not this time," Edward said. "But I'll be right back. I won't be gone long. As soon as you get home from school tomorrow, I'll be there."

Edward's words did nothing to remove the look of sorrow from Anthony's face. And hours later, when Edward waited to board his flight, the look on Anthony's face still haunted him. It then dawned on him why Anthony was having such a hard time with his short absence. Last night, Edward had made a big deal of letting Anthony know that he wouldn't be gone long and that he'd be right back. But, to Anthony, it had been one day, not so long ago, when his mother had most likely made that same promise. Only, she never did come back.

Guilt clung to him as Edward considered what more he could have done to make his son feel secure.

It was early evening when the airplane landed at Spokane International Airport, and Edward wasted no time hailing a cab for the short trek to a nearby hotel. His only plans were to grab a bite to eat and then catch up on his sleep; after eating an overly done hamburger, Edward settled back on the bed that was much too large for the room and attempted to fall asleep.

But sleep eluded him.

The room was too dark, too quiet and too empty.

Edward switched on the television to provide illumination and white noise, thinking it would help lull him to sleep. But as soon as he'd flipped though a few channels, Edward came face to face with a pornographic movie. However, the sight of an artificial blonde deep-throating a man in the middle of a crowded restaurant rang too absurd for Edward to even contemplate watching. He shut off the TV and once again tried his hand at sleeping.

Yet the moment his eyes shut, images of warm chestnut eyes and cinnamon tinted hair danced underneath his eyelids. Pink pouty lips and breasts that were ample fistfuls paraded through his thoughts. And then he entertained a full vision of Bella in that black strapless dress she'd worn to Port Angeles…

Edward became aware of the distinct tingling in his groin and a gentle tugging sensation as his penis sprung to life against his boxers. Not having anyone to hide from in the empty hotel room, Edward freed himself from the confines of his underwear and with each passing vision of Bella, his arousal grew, and the pulsing of his cock matched the accelerated thrumming of his heart.

He was aching for touch and knew he would have to settle for his own. He gripped his member with authority and slowly slid his fist up and down his length. He sighed at the feeling the hand he imagined to be Bella's created. As his own juices began to coat him, Edward began to pump shorter and faster. He was invigorated as he dreamed of pumping into Bella, instead of his own fist.

It didn't take long to reach his orgasm, and as he lay atop the sheets in the overpriced hotel room, decorated by his own cum, Edward felt more alive than he had in months.

The hotel shower dial rivaled something from a space-aged movie, but after a few moments of fidgeting with it, Edward stepped under the steady spray of warm water. Unopened bottles of body wash and shampoo lined an interior shelf, and one variety for kids, that displayed a rubber duck, reminded Edward that he should probably call Anthony to say good night.

It was almost eight o'clock when Edward stepped out of the bathroom and he hurriedly wrapped a towel around his waist before fishing his phone out of the pocket of the pants he'd discarded on the floor.

Not usually one to fly, Edward had completely forgotten that he'd shut his phone off for the flight and he cursed when it alerted him that he'd missed six calls once he'd turned it back on.

The first call was from Taylor's mother, asking him if he was currently seeing anyone. She went on to ramble that her neighbor had seen him when he'd picked Anthony up the week before and had expressed an interest in inviting him to a party she was hosting. "Call me and let me know if it's okay for me to give her your number," she'd requested.

Edward deleted the message with the push of a button.

The next message was from Jasper, letting Edward know that he'd gotten Anthony from school with no problem.

The third message was Jasper asking what Anthony would eat because he kept saying he didn't like everything that was offered to him.

The forth message was Jasper and he sounded panicked. "Hey, Edward, man. Call me. We've got a problem."

The fifth message came only an hour later. "Edward. Man, Alice is sicker than a dog. Like…she might have to go to the hospital or something. Call me."

The sixth message was left only twenty minutes ago and Edward didn't bother listening to it, but instead called Jasper's house.

Jasper picked up on the first ring.

"Where the hell have you been?" he asking in greeting. "I've been trying to call you all afternoon."

"I had to turn my phone off for the flight." The excuse resonated as lame in his ears. "Is Alice okay? How's Anthony?"

"Anthony is okay, but he can't stay here, man. I've gotta take Alice in. I think she's got food poisoning or some shit," Jasper's voice sounded strained. "I tried calling Emmett but he and Rosalie are in the middle of World War III. Can I call Bella?"

"No," Edward said immediately. "I haven't even talked to her in almost a week. I can't call in a favor now."

"Well what the hell am I supposed to do? You don't expect me to take Anthony with me to the hospital do you?"

"No," Edward sighed. "Did you try Vicki?"

"I don't have her number."

A sense of dread overcame Edward as he rattled off the number. "Vicki doesn't work on Fridays so she should be able to take Anthony to school tomorrow…Maybe I should call her."

"Yeah, okay and then call me back," Jasper said, distracted by his circumstances.

Edward hung up with Jasper and speedily dialed Vicki. She answered from the dry cleaners on East Washington Street.

"You're in Spokane?" Vicki interrupted when Edward tried to explain the bind he was in.

"Yes, and Anthony was staying with Jasper and Alice, but Alice got sick and I was hoping you'd be able to watch him until I got back tomorrow afternoon."

"Yeah, of course I can watch him," Vicki smiled into the phone. "You want me to go get him right now?"

Yeah. He has clothes and everything. He needs to be at school by nine…you don't have to work tomorrow do you?"

"Nope."

"Vicki, thank you so much. I owe you one."

"You owe me three," Vicki laughed. "But seriously, you know I'd do anything for you, Edward."

Jasper audibly relaxed when Edward called and told him that Vicki was on her way to pick up Anthony.

"Can I talk to him?" Edward asked.

"Yeah, of course," Jasper said before handing off the phone.

"Hello?"

"Anthony? Hey, it's…me. How are you?" Edward asked.

"When are you coming home?" Anthony asked.

"Tomorrow."

"Who's taking me to Miss Swan's house?"

"You're not going to Miss Swan's house," Edward cleared his throat. "Actually, since Alice is really sick, you're gonna spend the night at Vicki's house. Remember she has that extra bedroom so you can have a bed all to yourself."

"I just want to sleep in your bed," Anthony sounded like he was near tears.

"It's just one night, Anthony. I promise I'll be there tomorrow when you get out of school."

There was a long bout of silence before Edward heard Anthony's small acceptance. "Okay."

"It's just one night," Edward reiterated. "So be good for Vicki and I'll be there before you know it, all right?"

"All right."

"Okay, goodnight, Anthony."

"Goodnight."

Edward stayed up another hour, until he had confirmation that Vicki had successfully acquired Anthony, before he collapsed in exhaustion against the pillows.

He was awoken three hours later by clapping thunder and hail pelting against the window.

Needless to say, when Edward showed up to his training class at eight-thirty Friday morning, he headed straight for the complimentary coffee located on a table at the back of the room.

The training class ended up being more interesting than Edward had anticipated, and despite falling asleep twice during the video portion of the training, Edward was able to pass the test with ease. At the end of four hours, Edward had his temporary certification in hand. The official certification would be mailed to the plant in a few weeks after all of his information was processed and he was assigned an official document number.

By that afternoon, Edward could think of nothing else but getting back to Forks, picking up his son and then taking a long nap on his couch. After a brief pause at the hotel to pick up his packed bag, Edward arrived at the airport – only to find out that his flight had been delayed due to weather.

"What the fuck?" Edward lost his temper. "I have to get back to my kid!"

"Sir, could you please refrain from using that language?" The airline representative droned. "If you'd like to have a seat, we will alert you as soon as your flight is ready."

Unfortunately for Edward, his flight was cancelled and the earliest flight he could catch left at six o'clock that evening.

Tired, grumpy and defeated, Edward put a call into Vicki to let her know that he would be arriving late and asked her to please pick Anthony up from school.

Having nothing but time, Edward also called Jasper for an update on Alice. As it turned out, she ended up having a really bad case of the flu and Jasper was convinced that he was also coming down with it.

Edward decided to make the most of his wait, so he manufactured a pillow out of his carry-on bag and settled in for a good long nap.

He woke up when the airline representative from earlier gently tapped his shoulder and told him that his flight would be boarding in ten minutes.

Right before take-off, Edward put another call into Vicki just to check in and possibly talk to Anthony. After all, the last thing he'd said was that he'd be there when Anthony got out of school, and he hadn't been. He winced at the thought of the kind of fear that most likely invoked in Anthony.

The call to Vicki went directly to voicemail. Edward was able to leave a message stating that he was on his way just before the pilot came on over the loudspeaker and instructed all passengers to turn off their mobile phones.

And again, while Edward awaited takeoff from his connection flight to Fairchild International Airport in Port Angeles, he called Vicki. Still no answer. He started to worry because he'd rationalized that on his first unanswered call Vicki might have been in the shower or the bathroom. But what was the likelihood of that happening two times in a row?

At the rental car counter, Edward called Vicki again. The only response was the digital message telling him her voice mailbox was full.

"Okay, what the hell is going on?" Edward remarked to himself.

He got a semi-answer to that question twenty minutes later when he received a weird text message from Bella:

_Edward, through a weird turn of events, Anthony is with me right now. He's fine. Just know to be wary of me when you pick him up. I have half a mind to kick your ass. _

_-the delirious bitch_

Edward pulled over on the side of the road and called Bella. Relief flooded him when she answered.

"Finally! Someone answers the damn phone!" he barked.

"Where are you?" Bella barked back.

"I'm leaving Port Angeles," Edward said. "What happened? Why do you have Anthony and why isn't anyone telling me shit?"

"Probably because no one can get a hold of you!"

It was then that Edward realized just how angry Bella was. Her voice was practically shaking with fury.

"What's going on?" Edward asked again. "Is Anthony okay? Can I talk to him?"

"Anthony is fine, but he's asleep. And what's going on is that I'm going to kill Vicki. I'll tell you the rest when you get here, if I don't castrate you first," Bella told him.

"What the fuck, Bella? What'd I do?"

"You left your sweet little boy with that viper, that's what you did!"

"I didn't," Edward defended himself. "At least not intentionally. I left him with Jasper and Alice and then Alice came down with the flu so Vicki picked him up. I was supposed to be home hours ago, but my flight got cancelled because of a storm and…it's just been a fuckin' mess."

"Why'd they call Vicki? Why didn't they call me? Jasper and Alice know I watch him for you during the week."

Edward remained silent. It was a conversation that needed to take place, but not over the phone.

"I'll be there in an hour and I'll explain everything," Edward sighed.

An hour was not nearly enough time for Edward to think of exactly what he wanted to say to Bella. It also wasn't enough time to prepare himself for what she had to say.

Exactly seventy-six minutes later, Edward felt like a dead man walking as he made the seemingly long journey to Bella's front door.

She opened it before he had a chance to knock and the threatening look she gave him caused his heart rate to quicken.

Without saying a word, Bella led Edward to the spare bedroom where Anthony was sleeping. She turned on the light and stepped aside, silently instructing Edward to acknowledge his son.

Edward slowly pulled back the blanket to inspect Anthony and make sure everything was okay. He took in the way Anthony slept on his side with his hands tucked under his cheek, his legs bent at the knees and his ankles crossed. When Edward reached out to smooth the hair back from his forehead, Anthony stirred before opening his eyes.

Abruptly, Anthony sat up and shielded his eyes from the light to get a better look at Edward.

"Is that you?" Anthony asked as if he were speaking to a mirage.

Instead of answer, Edward held his arms out and Anthony leapt into them. "Where were you?" Anthony asked.

"I got stuck in Spokane, but I'm here now," Edward said. "Are you okay?"

Anthony nodded.

"From what I hear, Vicki wasn't very nice to you. Do you want to tell me what happened?" Edward asked soothingly.

Anthony shook his head that he didn't want to talk about it.

"You know you can tell me anything, Anthony."

Anthony nodded, but his drooping eyelids explained his lackluster involvement.

"Okay, you get some sleep and I'm going to go talk to Bella for a minute, okay?" Edward said as he tried to put Anthony back in the bed.

"Don't leave me!" Anthony shouted, now fully awake. "Don't leave me! Please!"

Edward looked over at Bella in bewilderment as Anthony collapsed into a fit of tears against his chest.

"What the hell happened to him?" Edward insisted. "What did she do?" he asked, in reference to Vicki.

"I don't think we should have this conversation in front of him," Bella whispered.

Edward looked down and saw that Anthony was staring at him intently, afraid to be left behind again.

"I'm not going to leave without you, okay?" Edward told him. "I just need to talk to Bella in the living room. I'll leave the door open and the light on. I just want you to get a little more sleep before I take you home, okay?"

Anthony shook his head and wrapped his arms tighter around Edward's neck.

"Anthony," Bella interjected. "If you don't want to go to sleep, I have something else you can do."

Anthony peered over at her, one eye visible and the other buried in Edward's collar. "Like what?"

"I just got this new book," Bella turned and pulled down a book from the shelf atop her desk, "and in the back of it there's a CD that tells you the story while you look at the pictures. I was going to bring this book to school for the class, but I need to know how it ends first. Can you listen to it for me and tell me how it ends?"

Anthony accepted the book from Bella and turned it over in his hands. While he was making up his mind, Bella put the CD in her computer and after a few seconds the opening credits of the book filtered out of her desktop speakers.

Bella plumped up the two pillows that were on the bed and invited Anthony to sit up against them – reemphasizing that she didn't expect him to lie down.

Hesitantly he crawled back onto the bed and began looking through the book's pictures.

"Okay, don't forget to tell me how the story ends," Bella said as she and Edward backed out of the room. "We'll be right out here, so if you need anything, just come get me or your dad, okay?"

Anthony gave Edward a long, hard look before nodding in agreement.

Bella turned and went to the kitchen and Edward followed her in. She turned to lean against the counter and started telling the story before Edward had to ask again.

"At about nine o'clock, I get a call from Vicki telling me that there's something wrong with Anthony and that he's freaking her out. Then she proceeds to tell me that Anthony is in the bathtub and he's unresponsive. So, of course, at this point I've already got one foot out the door, but when I offered to come get him, she says that you've entrusted him to her and the only reason she called me is to see if I know some teacher trick that'll snap him out of his trance."

"Trance? What trance?" Edward barged in.

Bella held up her hand for him to let her finish her explanation.

"She complained that she was missing out on overtime, so I used that as an angle to get her to agree to let me come get Anthony. Because, at this point I knew that something was terribly wrong."

"How come she didn't fuckin' call me?" Edward was angry enough to start pacing the length of Bella's kitchen.

"She said she couldn't get a hold of you," Bella answered. "Anyway, when I got to her house, Anthony _was_ in the bathtub, only he wasn't taking a bath. He'd had an accident and she made him sit in his wet pajamas in an empty bathtub as punishment."

"What the fuck?" Edward didn't bother to censor his language.

"I just wanted to get him out of there, so I changed his clothes and we hightailed it out of there as fast as we could."

"That bitch!" Edward yelled.

"Oh, you haven't even heard the worst of it," Bella didn't bother to hold back. "Apparently, she hit him."

Edward rounded on Bella and instantaneously appeared in front of her, seething breaths escaping his nose and mouth. "What do you mean she hit him?"

"When we got back here I tried to give him a bath because he still had pee all over him. At first, he wouldn't even talk to me. He just had this vacant expression on his face, like he'd had it and he wasn't even going to try anymore. But when I started taking off his clothes, he started screaming for me not to spank him, and when I asked him if Vicki had spanked him, he said yes."

"Did he say why?"

"No. I asked him, but he was too upset to tell me, so I just let it go."

Edward stared overhead at the pale yellow window valance that adorned Bella's small kitchen window. The floral pattern began to morph and faze as his sight unfocused, and instead of the fabric, Edward saw a vision of a long ago memory.

_Donna. She had two first names, but all he could remember as she stood towering over him with her hands on her hips, was Donna. _

_"Didn't you hear me, boy?"_

_ "N-no," stammered a twelve-year-old Edward. He'd just had his birthday two months before. It had turned out to be the best and worst day of his life._

_ "When I call you," she paused to slap him upside the head, "I expect you to answer me. Do you understand?"_

_ Edward had never been hit before and he had no tolerance for it. He'd started to cry and at the same time, Donna started to laugh._

_ "You better buck up, boy, or you're never gonna make it here."_

"Edward?"

He startled at the motion of Bella waving her hand in front of his face. "Where'd you go?"

"Oh…uh…I was just thinking about something," Edward recovered.

"No, I meant, where did you go…on the plane," she clarified.

"I went to Spokane."

"For?"

"Work. I had to complete a training course, or I would have lost my job."

Bella's face softened slightly at the mention of his possible job loss.

"I thought we agreed that when you have to work, I watch Anthony," she said.

"That's Monday through Wednesday. This was Thursday and Friday," Edward stated the obvious.

"And why didn't you call me?"

"Because I didn't want to bug you."

"Bullshit."

"It is not bullshit."

"It most certainly is. You're too proud to admit that you need my help so you punish me, and conversely, Anthony, by sending him off to Cruella De Vil."

"Don't you dare say I intended for Anthony to get hurt!" Edward yelled. "I didn't even leave him with Vicki. He was with Jasper and Alice. You know that!"

Bella flinched at the way Edward raised his voice to her, but she didn't back down. "And when Alice got sick, you didn't tell Jasper not to call me?"

_Was it possible that she already knew the answer to that?_

Edward said nothing. Instead, he tried to intimidate her into backing down with a relentless stare, but it didn't work.

"You're that pissed at me?" Bella asked him. "Just because I duped the electric company into waiving your deposit fee?"

Edward was formulating a refutation in his mind for an argument that had not yet been made when he vaguely heard Bella refer to getting a fee waived.

"What are you talking about? What did you get waived?" he asked.

"Seriously? You want to rehash this topic? Because apparently you can't handle people doing you favors."

Perhaps it was because it was late and he was beyond exhausted, physically from his travels and mentally from the shit storm that had happened to Anthony while he was away, but Edward didn't bother to hide behind the façade of his anger.

"What I can't handle is people going around paying shit that I should be paying," he admitted. "I'm tired of you reminding me what a fuck-up I am."

"That's not what I'm doing at all," Bella told him.

"Maybe it doesn't seem that way to you, but to me…" Edward trailed off, not wanting to appear more pathetic than he already did by putting verbiage to his emotions.

"Your friends aren't allowed to help you?" Bella asked. "If Jasper had been the one to call the company and tell them that technically they couldn't make you pay an additional deposit because you'd initially paid one when you put service in your name, would you be this mad at him?"

Edward squinted as his mind tried to process her words as fast as she spoke them. "Wait…so you _didn't_ pay the deposit?"

"You thought I paid your deposit?" Bella laughed. "You obviously have no idea how little money I make, or you wouldn't be asking me that question."

Edward shook his head. "All this time I've been busting my ass trying to pay you back and you didn't even pay anything?"

"Hey, it's not my fault that you wouldn't talk to me. I could have told you all I did was act like I knew what I was talking about when I threatened legal action."

When the conversation stalled, Bella walked over to her coffee machine and began brewing a pot of something that smelled heavenly. Edward eyed the pot covetously and when she handed him a mug of the piping hot liquid moments later, he gulped it down greedily, not caring that it scorched his throat.

Edward noticed that Bella had turned her back on him when she had begun making the coffee and had yet to face him once again. After a few minutes, it was apparent that she was doing it intentionally.

"Hey," he came up behind her and nudged her softly. "You still wanna kick my ass?"

"Maybe." Her tone was stern but playful and Edward knew he was close to getting in her good graces again.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"No." Bella turned around and faced him suddenly.

"No?" Edward didn't understand. He hadn't actually asked her a question.

"No, you don't get to treat me the way you did and expect a simple 'sorry' to make up for it. We were friends, Edward. _Good_ friends. And then you just up and stop talking to me, like I was nothing. You were rude and dismissive and…mean."

"I know," Edward said quietly.

"Why?"

"Because I…" Edward started and stopped several times before finally admitting, "Because I don't know how to be around you. I don't know who I am to you."

"What does that even mean?"

"Well, you say I'm your friend, but am I your friend, Edward, or your friend, Anthony's dad?"

"What's the difference?" Bella frowned.

"There's a huge difference," Edward said as he pushed off the counter he was leaning against to stand up taller. "Because if all I am to you is Anthony's dad, then, outside of him, I don't exist to you. And maybe I don't want that. Maybe I want you to know me, and I want to know you, outside of him."

"You'll never know me outside of him, Edward. You'll never know anyone outside of Anthony ever again. He is your son. He will be a part of every relationship you have from now on – or at least he should be. And why would you want to have a relationship with anyone who doesn't accept that?"

Bella paused in her rebuttal long enough for her attention to be caught by something she saw out of her small kitchen window. Edward watched as her face turned to stone before him. Suddenly she snapped into a flurry of action: pulling her hair into a ponytail, taking off the small hoop earrings she was wearing and scuttling to the hallway to put on her tennis shoes.

"What's wrong? What are you doing?" Edward asked.

"Vicki's here. I know that's her in that white car. I saw it in her garage when I picked up Anthony," Bella's voice hitched as she tightened her shoes. "And I'm gonna go out there and kick her fuckin' ass."

At the mention of the white car, Edward hastened to the window to get a look. Sure enough, it was the same one he'd seen earlier and this time, the driver had positioned herself for a bird's eye view of Bella's front door. But one thing was for sure…

"That's not Vicki," Edward said, his voice hard like steel.

Bella tensed when she saw the expression on Edward's face as he turned to her. "You've seen that car before?" he asked.

"I see that car all the time. Everywhere," Bella said as she came to look out the window for another peek.

"Me too," Edward mumbled. "Is there another way out of your apartment besides your front door?"

"Yeah, the sliding glass door in the living room. Why?" Bella asked.

"Go into the room with Anthony and stay in there until I get back," he said, avoiding her question because he wasn't quite sure of the answer. "Can I have your front door key for a minute?"

"Edward, what's going on?" the adrenaline from the beat down she was planning to give Vicki had disappeared and now she was visibly frightened.

"I've seen that car a lot, too," he said, realizing that the day he'd come to pick Anthony up from Bella's wasn't the first time he'd seen it. "Go in the room with Anthony and don't come out until I come get you, okay?"

"Wait," Bella stalled him. "You're freaking me out. Are you _sure_ it's not Vicki?"

"Vicki drives a Sentra. That's an old Town Car." Edward walked across Bella's living room to the sliding door. "And I got a glimpse of the driver when I came to get Anthony on Monday. Definitely not Vicki."

Edward saw the panic on Bella's face at his words. "Don't worry-"

"Don't worry? You're telling me we're being stalked by some psychopath and I'm not supposed to worry?" Bella squeaked.

"Please, just…go with Anthony. For all we know, he's the reason this person is out there," Edward said.

It made sense. The only commonality that Edward and Bella shared was Anthony. Why else would they both be seeing that strange car everywhere?

Edward's words finally got through to Bella, because she immediately ran to the small bedroom and checked on Anthony.

Before she could come out and stall him any further, Edward disappeared through the glass door and hopped over the fenced area that enclosed her patio. He followed a straight path for a few minutes before turning east and coming out at the far end of the parking lot. He peered around the building and was able to see the white car.

Whoever it was, they certainly weren't skilled in their spying skills. They sat directly underneath a streetlamp and drove a pretty conspicuous car.

As quietly as possible, Edward closed in on the car, sure to remain in the driver's blind spot as long as possible. He got down on all fours and crawled behind a truck that was parked on the white car's left.

It was Bella's truck.

Finally Edward was able to get a good look at the driver; well, as good as could be expected. It was definitely a woman, and she was all bundled up, same as she'd been on the previous Monday.

Unexpectedly, the woman removed her dark glasses to rub her eyes, and Edward got a clear view of her face through the side mirror.

All of the air excavated from Edward's lungs suddenly and he stumbled at the sight, causing him to drop Bella's keys.

He stood up, no longer bothering to conceal himself, and the woman took note of him immediately.

Frantically, she fumbled with the keys in her ignition and started her car. She held one hand up to her mouth as she attempted to steer with the other and Edward could see that she was crying.

Her driving was erratic as she tried to get away from Edward as he came close enough to touch the driver side window. With the car in reverse, she peeled out of the parking space and swung wide to avoid Edward.

The only thing that stopped her from turning a complete circle was coming into contact with Bella's truck. There was a loud screeching sound when metal scraped metal as she punched the gas again to propel herself away from Edward's stunned stare.

As she drove away, Edward glanced at the license plate. The numbers displayed there solidified that he had, in fact, seen what he thought he'd seen.

Bella was standing in the hallway, cradling a sleeping Anthony, when Edward let himself in through her front door.

"Edward, what happened? What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost," Bella searched his face for answers.

"She hit your truck," Edward whispered.

"What? Who?" Bella touched his arm and gasped when the haunted expression he wore met her eyes.

"My mother."


	17. Chapter 17 So Emotional

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 17 – So Emotional**

The blank stare. _It must be hereditary,_ Bella silently pondered as she watched Edward gaze eerily at the interior wall in her living room. She couldn't help but remember the way Anthony was staring at the bathroom wall when she'd rescued him earlier that evening…or yesterday, Bella realized when she stole a glance at the clock.

It was nearing one o'clock in the morning and Edward had yet to offer any further explanation about the stalker in the white car, aka his mother. He looked pretty shaken up and for that reason, Bella sat quietly beside him on the couch, cradling Anthony in her arms.

"I'm going to lay him back down," Bella whispered before standing up to take Anthony with her to the spare bedroom. She hoped Edward got the gist of what she was saying: she expected him to leave Anthony there for the night, and she wanted Edward to stay as well. Aside from his ghostly expression, it was evident that he was not in the right frame of mind to do any driving. He was exhausted and shell-shocked.

After putting Anthony back to bed, Bella stopped off at the hallway closet and pulled out a spare pillow and blanket for Edward. Instead of giving him the option of using them, she simply put them on the couch and motioned toward them for him to see.

"Edward, get some rest," Bella suggested.

After a sharp inhalation, Edward raked his hands over his face and looked up at Bella like he hadn't realized she was standing there.

"You want to talk about it?" Bella asked.

Edward shook his head. "I'm worn out."

Again, Bella pointed at the pillow and blanket she'd just brought in. "The couch is really comfortable," she hinted.

Edward looked down at the bed makings as if he was going to argue, but the fight just wasn't in him. He nodded in defeat and then fell back against the pillow, not bothering with the blanket, or his shoes and socks.

When Edward shut his eyes, Bella knew that it wasn't just sleep that he desired, but the solace of blocking out the outside world, just for a little while. She had so many questions, but she knew it wasn't the time to ask any of them. So she retreated to her bedroom and let things lie for the night.

But the next morning, Bella was ravenous for answers. Edward, being the type of man that he was, would most likely try to bolt the minute he felt rested enough to drive, so at a little after six in the morning, Bella was tiptoeing around her room, searching for a fresh pair of sweats and a bra, before she left the confines of her bedroom to seek out Edward and a little bit of truth.

The apartment was extremely quiet as Bella neared her spare bedroom. She peeked inside, only to see the cast away blankets of an unmade bed – Anthony nowhere in sight.

At the end of the short hallway, Bella craned her neck to see over her sofa, and was met with a stilling sight. She leaned against the wall to take in the picture before her of a man and his son, their need for one another a palpable aura around them.

Edward lay on his back against the pale blue pillow Bella reserved for guests, his right arm between his body and the back cushions of the couch. His legs protruded from underneath the blanket that he must have covered himself with at some point during the early hours of the morning. One foot, now bare, hung slightly off the edge of the couch while the other was perched atop the armrest.

Bella pulled her eyes past Edward's perfectly symmetrical toes, to the little boy draped lazily across his torso.

Anthony's head rested in the middle of Edward's chest and his arms and legs disappeared, one on each side of his father's body.

They looked so comfortable in their symbiosis, their unconscious minds revealing what their consciousness wouldn't allow.

A slight motion caught Bella's eye and she looked over to see Edward's hand rise and land on Anthony's back. Slowly, he began a steady patting, ever so softly. It was a calculated, repetitive motion. It definitely wasn't a motion easily attained while one was asleep.

Bella's eyes snapped to Edward's, and she saw that he was watching her.

"Morning," she said quietly.

"Mor- er, morning," Edward struggled with his morning voice, hoarse from sleep.

"Coffee?" Bella offered.

Before Edward had a chance to respond, Anthony sat up and began rubbing his eyes. He looked around momentarily before recognizing his surroundings. His eyes explored for Bella, and when he found her, he slid off Edward and shuffled over to her. She didn't hesitate to pick him up.

"Are you hungry?" she asked him. The memory of what he'd endured the night before was fresh on her mind, and she nuzzled him close.

"Uh-huh, but I have to go potty," Anthony revealed.

Bella set him down and turned to Edward as Anthony disappeared down the hall.

"What about you, Dad? You hungry?" Bella asked.

"What time is it?" Edward asked before he started looking around for a clock. "I've gotta get home."

"Edward, wait," Bella admonished. Her questions were innumerable and so far, she didn't even know which one to ask first.

_What was the story with his mother? Why was she following them? Did she say anything to him last night? Did she acknowledge the damage to Bella's truck? What was Edward going to do about Vicki? Did he have any money set aside for bail in case Bella met up with her in a dark alley?_

"What's going on?" Bella settled on. It seemed like the best place to start. A verbal outpouring from Edward might answer every question without her having to ask. She sat down on the sofa when Edward sat up and made room for her.

"Ah, just….can I use your bathroom or something?" Edward asked.

"Uh, sure," Bella's mind raced to consider the condition she'd left her master bathroom. Luckily Anthony reentered the room at that moment and she was saved from having Edward encounter her personal unmentionables drying on a towel rack.

Edward relocated to the bathroom and she held her arms out to Anthony.

"Come here, baby," Bella said moments before he climbed into her lab. "Are you feeling better this morning?"

Anthony nodded. "Can I have cereal?"

"You sure can. I have…um…Corn Pops. Do you like those?"

Anthony did a combination of a shrug and a nod.

"Come on," Bella led him into the kitchen. Edward joined them soon afterward, and without asking, Bella put an extra bowl in front of him. After she'd poured a bit of cereal for Anthony, she handed Edward the box; he didn't hesitate to fill his bowl.

"I don't want to go to Vicki's house again," Anthony said, out of the blue.

Edward and Bella exchanged worried glances. Bella recognized Anthony's request for disclosure. He was ready to tell his side of the story.

"Anthony, look at me," Edward paused until he had his little boy's attention. "You will _never_ have to talk to or see Vicki _ever _again. Okay?"

"Okay," Anthony looked pleased with that statement.

When Edward said nothing more on the subject, Bella cleared her throat.

"Did Vicki say anything to you about why she spanked you?" Bella asked. Edward visibly tensed at the reminder of what his son had suffered, physically, at Vicki's hand.

Anthony looked at the two adults before him with timid eyes. His bottom lip began to quiver and he blinked excessively as his eyes began to water.

"Can you tell us what happened? We're not gonna be mad, Anthony," Edward promised.

"Yeah, you're not in trouble," Bella reiterated.

Anthony toyed with the cereal in his bowl while he contemplated whether or not he should be forthcoming. With his head bowed in humiliation, his shoulders sagging and deflated, his diffident voice finally pieced the story together.

"She spanked me 'cos I played with the purple missile," he said.

"Did she tell you not to play with it?" Edward's brow creased in confusion.

Anthony shook his head. "She just said to go play, so I did. And then she spanked me."

Bella moved to the kitchen to make Anthony some toast while she continued to listen to the picture he painted with words.

Apparently Vicki had better things to do, namely, talk on the telephone, instead of pay attention to Anthony. From the sound of it, she'd told him to sit on the floor in her bedroom as she chatted away to a friend while simultaneously going through clothes in her closet. Being a five-year-old little boy, Anthony had gone exploring, in search of something to play with, and Vicki hadn't liked what he'd selected.

While Edward focused on trying to dispel any wrongdoing on his son's part, Bella's mind began to highlight certain words Anthony was saying:

_Bedroom. Missile. Under the bed. Turned it on. Shake and move. _

Though Edward was completely oblivious, it became rapidly clear to Bella that Anthony's "purple missile" was neither a missile, nor a toy.

She smirked to herself as realization dawned, along with the image of Vicki's face at Anthony's discovery of such an intimate item.

Humor aside, Bella decided it was probably best to clue Edward in on her discovery at another time…or not at all. Instead, she just wanted to make sure Anthony was crystal clear on one thing.

"Anthony, you know you're a good boy, right?" she asked.

"She said I was a noisy little ship," Anthony crinkled his nose as he recounted Vicki's words.

Edward's face hardened when he realized _noisy little ship_ actually meant _nosey little shit. _"She's a fuckin' bi-"

"What your dad is trying to say," Bella interrupted, "is that you're a very good boy and it was wrong of Vicki to spank you. She shouldn't have done that," Bella said.

It got quiet again, and Bella turned to see that Edward's blank stare had returned for duty. She tried to question him about the events of last night, what he was going to do about Vicki, how she should handle the damage to her truck, whether or not she should be afraid of his mother...

"Bella, I can't do this right now, okay?" Edward stalled her. By the tone of his voice, it was clear that he was close to his breaking point.

"Edward," despite her effort to sound otherwise, Bella's voice came out uncharacteristically whiny. "I can't just do nothing. I mean, I guess I don't have to report the hit and run to the insurance company if you don't want me to. I don't want to get your mom in any trouble or anything, but I can't really afford to fix the damage myself…"

"Fuckin' report her. I don't care. 0-6-2-0-8-5," Edward rattled off abruptly.

"Is that the license plate number?" Bella asked. When Edward gave a curt nod, Bella scrambled for a pen to write it down. "Are you sure? You just remembered that?"

"It's my birthday."

"Oh, that's so-"

"C'mon, Anthony. We've gotta go," Edward cut her off.

_Cute._

Like a hyped up Tasmanian Devil, Edward whirred through Bella's apartment at great speed, picking up Anthony's belongings, and Anthony himself, before hightailing it out of Bella's apartment. An "I'll call you later" floated through the wind as he passed.

A dazed confusion kept Bella silent while she watched Edward's disappearing act in silence. She was sure that not only would they get to the bottom of the Vicki fiasco and plan their outfits for her funeral, but she'd also get some solid answers about Edward's mother. It wasn't just odd that someone's _mother_ would be reduced to covert operations just to get their attention, but Bella didn't understand why Edward's mother would be interested in her. Why should his mother be staking out her apartment? It was beyond weird.

But answers would have to wait. Since Edward had made it clear that he wasn't ready to talk about what had happened, Bella left the ball in his court and decided not to push him. She did, however, contact the insurance company and report the damage to her truck.

The weekend fizzled out without any calls from Edward, unless Bella counted the text message he sent late Sunday night telling her that he wasn't working the following Monday so, no Anthony.

And when Edward said no Anthony, he meant it. Anthony wasn't at school either. Bella kept expecting him to show up midway through the day, but once the bell sounded for the last recess, Bella knew she wouldn't be seeing him.

The first item at the top of her to-do list as soon as she got home was to call Edward and check in. Her stomach was unsettled at the thought that Anthony was suffering some residual affect of the weekend and it had prevented him from coming to school.

When Edward didn't answer her direct calls to his cell phone, she sent him a text message asking if Anthony was okay and if she could expect to see him on Tuesday.

Two hours later Edward replied; a mere five words:

_He's fine. See ya 2morrow._

Bella stared at the display screen on her phone. Frustration didn't even begin to explain how she felt.

Saturday night she and Edward had been right on the precipice of making some admissions. She'd certainly known what she was going to say before they were so voyeuristically interrupted. And judging by his body language, she knew what he was going to say.

So what had changed?

Bella's phone buzzed in her hand and she answered it without looking at the caller identification, sure that it was Edward. Finally.

"So, do you still hate my guts or what?"

Alice.

"Hate is kind of a strong word," Bella sighed. "I think I've moved down to dislike."

"Come on, Bella. You know I can't be trusted to keep a secret. Everybody knows that. I talk. It's what I do," Alice said. "And especially when I'm drunk."

"Duly noted," Bella stated wryly.

"Seriously…you're still pissed?"

"No…not about that."

"Are we still talking about me?"

"Alice, how could you turn Anthony over to Vicki? _Vicki! _Do you have any idea…" Bella stopped her rant, wondering if Edward had kept it to himself what had happened after Jasper had called Vicki that night.

"Please don't make me feel any worse than I already do," Alice said. "If the flu hadn't made me puke my guts up, seeing Anthony get into Vicki's car, would have. But Edward was very specific, Bella. He didn't want Jasper to call you because-"

"Yeah, let's not go there again. He's barely been downgraded from hate himself."

Alice laughed. "Like you could ever hate Edward."

Bella rolled her eyes at Alice's implication, but she didn't respond. _Big mouth and all._

"So…since you've been granted reprieve, do you want to maybe…see a movie or something this Saturday? Rosalie and I haven't done our girl's night ritual this month and I'm sort of having estrogen withdrawals. Wanna hang out?" Bella asked, successfully changing the subject.

"Did you hear about Rosalie and Emmett?" Alice's voice dropped into a low pre-gossip hum. "They broke up."

"What?" Bella was sure she hadn't heard correctly. Sure, Rosalie complained about Emmett…a lot. But it was always surface things that Bella thought she secretly loved about him anyway.

"Yep. He moved out. He's been staying with us and Rosalie won't return any of my phone calls."

"Huh…and I thought she wasn't calling me because she was pissed that I didn't hit it off with Derek."

"Uh…no. I think she's probably a little happy that you didn't hit it off with Derek."

"No."

"Yep."

"Ew!"

"I know! He is not even cute! How could she pick him over Emmett?"

"Does Emmett know?"

"How could he not? But he's not saying much. He tries to act like he could care less, but I can tell that he's totally heartbroken over it. Like, he hangs with Jasper, but if I'm around, he cuts out, like he doesn't want to see us together or be reminded of what he had…you know?"

"What the hell is she _thinking?"_ Bella rested her forehead in the palm of her hand.

Alice sighed. "Well…not that I'm making excuses for her or anything, but…Rosalie had to work really hard for everything she's got. Her parents were really hard workers, too, but they never quite achieved that mark they were reaching for. I think she kind of inherited their discontent. She'll come to her senses soon and realize that it's not going to get any better than Emmett."

"Yeah, well, I hope he's not available to her when that happens," Bella scoffed. "That'll teach her."

"Maybe…" Alice trailed off, like, for once, she wasn't telling the entire story. "And I can't come out and play Saturday. I told Jasper I'd help him move Edward."

"Edward's _moving_?"

"Yeah, and how come you're not helping? You have a truck," Alice said.

"Because maybe Edward didn't ask me to help," Bella said. "I didn't even know he was moving. Is it…out of the area or…"

"No, just down the street. It's a really cute townhouse. Anyway, I think it was kind of sudden that the owners are letting him in early for free or something. I don't know much about it, except for that's where I'll be on Saturday, even though I _hate_ moving."

Bella barely heard the rest of Alice's ramblings. She quickly ended the call, stating a ton of grading as her excuse. In reality, she was too busy revisiting her earlier musings and trying not to allow her mind to conjure up the many different negative assumptions she could make based upon Edward's choice of omission.

She would rather spend her mental energy exercising the restraint not to act like Edward had immensely hurt her feelings by leaving her out of such a monumental occasion.

It was a monumental occasion, right?

"I think my PMS has finally pushed me over the edge," Bella laughed at her own emotional state. "I'm upset because Edward has decided to spare me hard, manual labor on one of my only days off…"

Yeah. It didn't matter what kind of spin she put on it, she _was_ upset. And just like physical exercise, Bella was no mental athlete. Despite her best endeavors, she was not able to master the emotional feat of acting like she didn't care.

"He was really tired yesterday, so I kept him home with me," Edward explained the next morning when he dropped Anthony off, bright and early. The expression in his eyes, a silent plea for Bella not to inquire about the situation with his mother, was manifest on his face.

For whatever reason, it seemed to be an emotional and humiliating subject for Edward, so Bella internally vowed not to bring it up if he didn't. Besides, she had other issues on her mind, like a change of address.

"Got yesterday off, huh?" Bella rocked from heel to toe like an over-confident investigator during an interrogation.

"Yeah. They had pity on me, since I spent all that time traveling for work…" Edward's eyes shifted nervously as he made small talk.

"I'm surprised they didn't give you the entire week off," Bella said. Edward's eagerness to get on his way was evident, and even though she was aware of it, and didn't want to keep him where he didn't want to be, she just kept talking uncontrollably and through no will of her own.

"I could have taken the whole week, but I asked if I could just take the next couple Mondays off and they were cool with that."

"Because you're moving?"

Edward looked momentarily stunned by her knowledge, but he recovered quickly. "Uh, yeah."

"Mmhm," Bella waited for him to say more on the subject, but he didn't.

Anthony picked up the slack for his father. "I'm gonna have my own room."

"That's great, Anthony." Bella felt herself getting overly emotional as she spoke. _Damn PMS!_

Bella turned to see Edward concentrating intensely on the exterior paneling around her front door. He kept opening and closing his mouth like he was going to say something, but no words came out.

"So…Veteran's Day is next week…" Bella began. "Are you off?"

Edward shook his head slowly.

"Okay. Well I am. There's no school. But you can still drop Anthony by…if you still want me to watch him."

"Yeah, of course," Edward seemed perplexed by her question.

"Well…just making sure…you know…didn't know if I was the last to know you had other plans or something…" She might have rolled her eyes at herself at that moment. "Well…I don't want to make you late…"

"Right. I'd better get going," Edward hesitated a moment before he turned to leave. Then he turned back to face Bella.

"Say, um…did you have plans on Saturday?" he asked.

_Oh now he wants help moving? Now that he knows he's been caught? Well no thanks, Mister! Bella and the truck are NOT available._

"Actually, I do," Bella said, a slight toss of her head accompanied her words.

"Yeah…okay. Of course," Edward stammered as he backed up. "So, I'll see you later, then. Have a good day, Anthony…uh…you, too, Bella."

He was gone in a flash and Bella closed her door sharply, only to lean against it and bang her head over and over again. She cracked open an eye to see Anthony staring up at her curiously.

When she smiled to let him know that everything was okay, he returned a happy grin.

And everything felt just a bit better.

A little later, Anthony touched Bella's heart yet again during sharing time. On Tuesdays in Bella's kindergarten class, boys (last names beginning with A-C) had the opportunity to share a story, picture or item that had impressed them. Anthony had chosen to share about the new bedroom he was getting. Bella's heart swelled with love as he spoke excitedly about something many children would probably take for granted: his own bed. He admitted that he hadn't gotten the bed yet, but he described his ideal piece of furniture as one that was covered in a blue bedspread.

As he spoke, Bella realized how silly she was being, harboring ill feelings against Edward because he hadn't included her in his relocation plans. This wasn't about Bella and it wasn't about Edward, who was probably perfectly happy in his one-bedroom apartment prior to Anthony joining his home.

No, this was about Anthony – a little boy who deserved happiness beyond his wildest dreams, yet all he wanted was his own bed and a blue bedspread.

Luckily it was the middle of her and Edward's workday, which prevented her from making sappy, hormone-induced phone calls begging his forgiveness for a wrongdoing he didn't even know she'd committed.

And even luckier still, was another phone call from Alice as soon as she got home, asking if she could swing by on her way home from work to borrow a bundt cake pan. Locating, cleaning and packing up the pan distracted Bella long enough to keep her from calling Edward during his break, or sending him random text messages about how self-centered she was.

Alice showed up just as Bella was giving Anthony his dinner. She made a big fuss over Anthony, as usual, and said that she couldn't wait for him to come play at her house again. Anthony looked indifferent to the idea, which could be considered positive since the last time he'd been at Alice's resulted in him having to go to Vicki's. For Alice's sake, Bella hoped Anthony didn't correlate the two instances.

"I'd better get going. I left my car running." It was the only thing that worked to keep Alice on schedule. Whenever she had some place to be, this time it was home for dinner with Jasper, she'd leave her car running to keep her conversations short.

As Alice opened Bella's front door to leave, she nearly walked right into the fist Edward had raised to knock on the door.

"Oh look, it's Big Mouth," he said sourly.

"Go ahead," Alice nodded at him, "Get it all out of your system. But I must warn you, there is a statute of limitations on my infraction. It expires Saturday. After that, you can't be upset with me anymore."

"Whatever," Edward shook his head.

Bella could tell that Edward wasn't comfortable, and she was sure that her behavior earlier that morning might have had something to do with that. When she caught his eye, she smiled and he froze in his tracks like a stunned animal, but only for a moment.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi," Bella said.

Alice looked between the two of them and smirked as she let herself out of the apartment. "I'll return this when I'm done. Thanks, Bella!" She called as she exited and shut the door behind her.

Bella led Edward to the spare bedroom where Anthony was laying on the floor looking at the children's bedroom section of a department store catalog.

"Anthony is so excited to get his own room," Bella said, making it a point to broach the subject of the move so that Edward knew it wasn't a sore subject between them. "He's been looking at bedroom pictures ever since we got home."

Bella smiled at the sight of Anthony eagerly studying each photo. She looked over at Edward to see if he was equally amused, but Edward was watching Bella, not Anthony.

"Do you have a minute?" he asked.

"Sure," Bella backed up toward the living room. She wondered if Edward finally had something he needed to share with her regarding what had happened that last weekend.

He looked nervous as he paced a bit before settling into a stance in front of her coffee table.

This looked serious.

"Should I sit down?" Bella asked.

"Huh? Oh…no," Edward shook his head. "Unless you want to."

"Do I _need_ to?" Bella asked. "You're kind of freaking me out."

That seemed to release Edward from the internal monologue he appeared to have going on in his head and he laughed. "Oh…sorry. But…man, this kind of thing doesn't usually make me that nervous…it's just that…well…you know how…when I said I was sorry and you said that wasn't enough?"

"Oh, that. Yeah, I was just…it's okay. I'm…we're good," Bella insisted.

"Yeah, well…that's kind of…that's kind of why I didn't…well one of the reasons I didn't ask you to help me move on Saturday."

Bella shook her head adamantly. "Edward, you don't owe me any explanation. You're doing a great thing for Anthony and you didn't have to tell me…I was just surprised to find out you were moving."

"Yeah, I thought I'd get to talk to you before, but obviously Alice got to you first. I swear, that woman's mouth is like a funnel."

Bella laughed at his analogy. "I don't even think she knows she's doing it."

"Yeah well…" Edward stuck his hands deep in his pockets like a bashful little boy. "I kind of just wanted to do this…without you having to be a part of it…like…to be able to get something right, you know?"

Bella frowned and shook her head. She didn't understand at all.

"I just wanted to show you that I could do it," Edward shrugged with a sheepish grin.

"Do what?" Bella asked.

"The right thing…for Anthony," Edward answered. "Every time you and I see each other, it's like I've made some massive fuck up and you're cleaning up my shit."

"Edward, it's not like that," Bella said, but her words were not strong enough to assure him.

"When we first met, you had to stay late because I was late picking up Anthony from school. Then you had to let him in your classroom in the mornings because there was no one to watch him when I dropped him off too early at school. And he told me how you used to give him snacks when he didn't have anything he liked in his lunch. And…of course, Bella, I knew you helped with the lights because you knew Anthony was afraid of the dark…and this shit with Vicki, hell, they don't even have a word to describe that clusterfuck…But every time, and I mean, every fucking time, you were there.

"You're like this…totally together person. You're funny and you're smart and you're…beautiful. And not just on the outside, but like…you can tell that you're one of those people who are, like, genuinely…on the inside, like…just amazingly _beautiful._ I've never met anybody like you…that just helps people and doesn't expect shit in return…

"That's why I was so bummed that night at the restaurant when you and Vicki were going back and forth about the money and you said that I needed to get a bigger place so that Anthony could have his own room, remember? I was pissed that you would think that my moving was your idea instead of mine. I just wanted to show you what I'm capable of, Bella.

"And the reason I didn't ask you to help on Saturday is because I wanted to get Anthony all set up and then hire a babysitter to take care of him in his own fuckin' house so that he didn't have to be scared of sleeping in some strange place; and I wanted to finally take you out, just you and me, and tell you that I'm sorry, the right way, and that contrary to what you may think, I'm not this irresponsible fuck-up that needs to be bailed out all of the time. I can be a good guy, Bella. I am a _good_ guy."

Bella had been intermittently shaking her head no almost the entire time Edward was talking. It wasn't that she didn't want to hear what he had to say, but instead that she was willing herself to be able to get through it without sobbing uncontrollably.

Nonetheless, the small steam of tears that fast-tracked down her cheeks as she listened to Edward explain how he saw himself through her eyes, was quickly overtaken by a deluge of emotion as she struggled to come up with the proper words to describe how she truly felt about him.

But he kept talking, and with every word, he stood up taller and appeared less broken as he communicated, for the first time, who he was and what _she_ meant to _him_.

Bella grabbed a nearby facial tissue and tried to dam the flood of tears as she took the necessary steps to close the gap between her and Edward. She ran her hands up and down his forearms as she searched for her voice and the nerve to look directly into his eyes as she spoke.

"Edward, you stopped being a _good_ guy the day you took the high road and turned your life upside down to take in your son. It's not every guy that would have done that, and I know that your life hasn't been easy. I don't want you to think for a minute that I'm not aware of the sacrifices you've made for Anthony. And I can see the differences you've made, in yourself and in Anthony. He's flourishing with you - _because_ of you, Edward. And I'm sorry if I didn't do a better job of letting you know, but I'm _so _proud to know you and to see you succeed. You're a _great_ guy, Edward, and I would be honored to go out with you on Saturday."

As Edward lifted a hand to erase a course of tears, Bella turned her face into his palm and kissed it softly.

"So, I take it you've accepted my apology," Edward said softly.

It was just the right sentiment to lighten the mood and Bella laughed as she used both hands to dry her remaining tears.

She felt her heart rate quicken as she watched Edward move closer still. She shivered when his hands moved to her hair, soft fingertips against the nape of her neck, stroking and positioning until he'd turned her face toward his.

As Bella's hands glided up Edward's chest on their way around his neck, she wondered if he could tell how badly, and for how long she'd wanted to kiss him.

The moment their lips touched, Bella's mind toiled to decipher the euphoria of her senses. The feel of his skin underneath her hands was a riddle of hot and cold. His curve of his lips was both soft and firm against hers. The aroma of his essence as he exhaled into her mouth was biting and tantalizingly sweet. The sound of his desire, his want, his anxiety, mixed with hers, was like their own personal soundtrack of passion.

Play. Pause. Repeat.

But then the stirrings of a small child could be heard in the distance and Bella and Edward reluctantly parted. When Anthony came into the room with a fistful of catalog pages, the panting and disheveled adults before him tried to quickly compose themselves.

"I found the one I want," Anthony announced as he held up the pages he'd taken it upon himself to remove from the book.

Lost in his world of baseball curtains, racecar bedding and football rugs, Anthony had no inclination of what had transpired between the two most important people in his life.

"Uh…ready?" Edward prompted Anthony. "Why don't you go get your stuff."

"Okay!" Anthony took off toward the back, giving Bella and Edward a few seconds to tie up loose ends.

"I was thinking maybe…on Saturday we could…talk?" Edward said.

Bella heard exactly what he wanted to communicate. For now, she'd have a few questions. For now, they'd be Daddy and Miss Swan. For now, she would wait; for on Saturday, they would talk.

So for the rest of the week, Bella and Edward only made slight alterations to their routine as they waited for Saturday.

Edward stayed to have dinner with Bella and Anthony on Wednesday; on Thursday he made it a point of coming into the classroom when he picked up Anthony after school and on Friday, Bella visited Edward's apartment for the first time to help him wrap, clean and pack.

While he was busy making the preparations to say goodbye to the single-bedroom dwelling, Bella also secretly hoped that he was also wishing a farewell to the life of a single man.

That was still the most prominent thought in her mind when she woke up on Saturday morning. Although it was followed by a close second: kissing Edward, and a third: their date that evening.

Bella threw back the covers and thought about all of the activities she'd planned to fill her day with while she waited for the evening to arrive.

Edward still refused to let her help him move into his townhouse, and still high on his explanation for why that was, Bella didn't argue. But she did offer him a compromise that he couldn't refuse. At noon, Bella would arrive at Edward's old apartment to take Anthony for a few hours, and at that time she'd switch vehicles with Edward so that he could use her truck during his move. It was just a small token, but Bella still got to feel like she was helping and Edward still got the feeling of doing it on his own.

It had been a long time since Bella had felt the flutter of anticipation, but as she prepared for a morning of errands before she went to pick up Anthony, and see Edward, she couldn't shake the overall feeling of nirvana regarding what the day held for her.

She had a spring in her step as she stopped by the dry cleaners to pick up the dress she planned to wear that evening. She was overly cheerful as she stopped by Vaughn's Vacuum shop to pick up an accessory for her canister model and she was still smiling when she paused at the grocery store to get lunch for Edward, Emmett, Alice and Jasper, and a special treat for Anthony.

"Excuse me, Bella? Bella Swan?"

Bella turned around to see a frail-looking, petite woman standing behind her. Even if she didn't have that odd hair color, or those similar penetrating eyes, Bella would have recognized Edward's mother immediately.

"Who are you and what do you want?" Bella asked, even though she was sure she knew. As she awaited an answer, Bella made no secret of positioning the pepper spray she carried on her key chain to defend herself.

The woman in front of her smiled and held up her hands in a submissive and non-threatening manner.

"I'm sorry to frighten you, Bella. I know this is scary, but I assure you, I mean you no harm."

"Who are you?" Bella asked again, still strategically clutching her keys.

"My name is Esme. Esme Cullen. I'm Edward's mother." She made a dramatic pause like she expected Bella to be surprised by that statement, but Edward had already made the great revelation.

"So you're the one who hit my truck?" Bella asked.

"I- I'm sorry about that, and I will cover the cost of the damages. It wasn't intentional. I just…I was so afraid and overwhelmed-"

"_You_ were afraid? You've been stalking me for weeks and _you_ were afraid? How do you think I feel?" Bella asked.

Esme nodded sympathetically and for a moment Bella thought she might have reduced the poor woman to tears, but when Esme looked back up at her, her gaze was confident and strong.

"It wasn't my intention to watch you so closely. But…that day I saw you at the grocery store…with the little boy…I don't expect you to remember, but I spoke to you that day. I told you that your little boy reminded me a lot of my son when he was that age.

"At first, I didn't think anything of it. But, when you left the store you were parked by me and I watched your little boy as he waited for you to let him into the truck and he did that thing with his hair, almost like he was pulling and pushing on his scalp at the same time. And I just…remembered _so vividly_ Edward doing that same thing, and I knew. I _knew_ right then, that he was Edward's and that maybe Edward was near. So I followed you home and that's when I saw Edward. When he came to pick up his little boy. I saw him."

Esme seemed to be having a conversation for her own benefit at this point and Bella looked around anxiously, making sure there were other people around should things get any stranger than they already were.

"I don't know what Edward told you, but I can assure you that I love him, and have loved him, dearly since the day he was born," Esme said.

For a fleeting second, Bella was set to listen. Questions sprang to the edge of her tongue and she almost asked one. But then she stopped.

It felt like a betrayal to Edward. He'd asked her to wait. It was his place to tell her his story – not this strange woman who called herself his mother.

"I'm leaving," Bella stated suddenly. "And if you follow me, I'll call the police."

The look of remorse and understanding never left Esme's face.

"I'm sorry, Bella. Please understand that I never meant to frighten or upset you…or Edward or his son," when she paused and opened up her purse, Bella put her finger on the trigger of the spray, ready at a moment's notice.

"Here is my information," Esme held out a folded slip of paper. "If you change your mind and want to talk…or if you want to pass it on to Edward, please, feel free."

Bella's hand trembled as she accepted the paper. She gave no indication of what she would do, either way, before she jumped in her truck, immediately locking the doors behind her.

Without glancing back at Esme, Bella started her truck and sped out of the parking lot. The sudden motion caused her purse to fall over and the piece of paper was knocked to the floor. Bella made no move to retrieve it as she sped away from the market, toward Edward and hopefully, the peace that only his answers could bring.


	18. Chapter 18 Man in the Mirror

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 18 – Man in the Mirror**

The end of Edward's workweek had finally appeared; he was mind-numbingly spent. He continually told Jasper and Emmett that there was no need to envy him having four days off in a row each week, for he spent the first two recovering from working such long days.

"You'll get used to it," Bella said when Edward all but fell into her apartment on Wednesday evening. The smell of garlic tickled his nose and momentarily distracted him from his tiredness.

"I made dinner!" Anthony announced when he saw Edward enter the kitchen.

Bella put her hands on her hips and turned to the little boy who was standing in the middle of the room with a shirt-turned-apron tied around his waist.

"Excuse me, but you had a little help, mister," she hinted with a smile.

"Oh yeah," Anthony put his hands to his mouth to stifle a giggle.

Edward never ceased to notice how relaxed Anthony was in Bella's presence, and this occurrence was no exception. Though it was a far cry from the days of Anthony telling Edward that he hated him, the sound of his laughter rarely filled their interactions.

"And what's on the menu at Bella and Anthony's restaurant?" Edward made a point to ask them both.

"A-man-caught-it," Anthony answered with authority.

Now it was Bella's turn to stifle her laughter. She turned to Edward and whispered, "Manicotti."

"Want some?" Anthony asked.

"Are you going to have some?" Edward asked. Though his question was playful and light, Edward was also shocked that Anthony would even consider eating something that didn't come out of a box with his favorite cartoon character painted on it.

"A-course," Anthony stated matter of fact.

When he went over to the small dinette table to sit down, Bella reached over and handed Edward a plate.

"A kid will at least try anything he cooks," she said in a low voice.

"Good to know," Edward smiled at her.

Their interactions weren't the slightest bit awkward since they'd shared their first kiss, but Edward wasn't remiss in noticing that there was no romantic tone to their interactions. Where did things stand? Where did he _want_ things to stand? Or more importantly, where did _she_ want things to stand?

Edward knew he didn't want to go back. Now that he'd kissed her, he _couldn't_ go back. But he also knew he couldn't ask- not right now. Not with Anthony sitting across from him at the table.

Saturday. They'd talk about it on Saturday.

When the thought of their impending date crossed his mind, Edward stole a glance over at Bella, only to find that she was watching him intently. When he smiled, she returned one, and relaxed immensely before his eyes.

Whatever he was feeling, she was feeling the exact same way.

When Edward left Bella's apartment that evening, he had a full belly, another choice to add to the short list of items that Anthony would actually eat, and a son very proud of the fact that he'd "cooked" dinner for his dad and his teacher.

The next morning, after dropping Anthony off at school, Edward made a stop at the grocery store to ask for empty boxes. Len, the store manager, wouldn't have given him a damn thing, but Denise, the assistant manager, always bent over backwards to help Edward with anything he asked.

"Take all you want," Denise cooed as she pointed to a pile of boxes after leading Edward to the stockroom at the back of the store.

"Great. Thanks," Edward said as he nodded in her direction. He had hoped that Denise would take those as parting words, but she lingered as he began to make a small stack of boxes to take with him.

"So…you movin' or somethin'?" she asked.

"I can't think of any other reason why people would bum boxes off the grocery store, except for when they're moving," Edward laughed.

"Well…you never know. I hear the craziest stories workin' here."

"I bet," Edward said, hoping she wouldn't elaborate.

She did.

Denise was flirting. And while she wasn't anywhere close to his type, in the past, Edward wouldn't have thought twice about humoring her, maybe flirting back with her for good will's sake. But now, now that there was this amalgamation of feelings for Bella –a non-romantic verbal tête-à-tête with any other woman felt wrong.

It was such a confusing place to be, this limbo he and Bella were maneuvering. But even if Edward ignored it, feelings, and real life encounters continued to remind him.

First it was Denise at the grocery store, and then Taylor's mother when Edward went to pick up Anthony from school later that afternoon. Unfortunately, or fortunately, Edward wasn't sure, the latter happened in front of Bella.

The kindergarten classroom was a sea of movement as parents bundled up their children before taking them outside into the near-monsoon like downpour of the afternoon. Bella was tied up with parent after parent asking her various questions, but she still wasn't too busy to flash Edward a greeting smile as he inconspicuously made his way over to her.

He had just about reached her when Taylor's mother intercepted him.

"Edward, hi." Her clipped tone and the way she was eyeing him made it clear that she didn't just want to offer him a friendly hello.

"Hi," Edward said as he shifted Anthony's backpack and jacket to his other hand. Maybe if she saw that he needed to pack up his son, she'd be on her way.

No such luck.

"How are you?" she asked.

_Oh great. Small talk._

"Great, thanks. How are you?"

"Everything's good. We sure do miss Anthony in the mornings. Taylor loved riding to school with him."

"Oh…yeah. We'll have to get them together some time," Edward nodded.

"Well, yeah!" She said over enthusiastically. "Actually, did you get the message I left for you a little while ago?"

"Um, which message was that?" Edward asked, even though he knew immediately what she was referring to. He looked up fleetingly to see that Bella had moved closer to him, and even though she was talking to one of her students, he could tell her ears were trained on him.

"Well," Taylor's mother was none the wiser about the two adults trying to get to one another, "I'm having a party at my house, and my neighbor, who is really cute and sweet, is going to be there. I thought it might be nice if the two of you met."

"Uh…"

Bella made no effort to hide the fact that she had heard every word. She stared at Edward and he stared back at her. She tilted her head and smirked, indicating that she was just as interested in Edward's answer as Taylor's mother appeared to be.

Edward rolled his eyes at her before he remembered that Bella wasn't the only one watching him.

"Unless…I mean…I just assumed that you were single. I thought you'd said that…but if there's someone else…" Taylor's mother backpedaled.

"It's kind of…yeah, I'm not…really dating right now," Edward answered, but his eyes were on Bella.

"Oh." Taylor's mother looked between Edward and Bella. "_Ooohh…_Wellif you change your mind or anything…the party is Saturday and you're welcome to attend…you can even bring a friend if you'd like." Then, as if on second thought, she added, "Miss Swan, if you'd like to come, I'd love to have you."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I have plans on Saturday night, but thank you anyway," Bella responded.

Edward watched as Taylor was hustled away by his mother, the two of them exiting soon after.

"Well…that was…"

"Very entertaining," Bella completed. "I swear you looked like you were going to throw up."

"I couldn't think of what to say," Edward defended himself. "I didn't want to be rude. She really helped me out earlier this year."

"I know," Bella agreed. "But it's not rude to say that you have plans. That's what I always do. I ask when the event is, and then I say I already have plans at that time. Even if my plans simply mean I plan not to attend whatever it is they're inviting me to, I do still have plans."

Edward stared at Bella for a long moment while his brain caught up with the string of words she'd just strewn at him.

When he figured out what she'd actually said, he laughed and shook his head. "I'll have to remember that. If I ever ask you out and you tell me you have plans, I'll know you're rejecting me."

"I won't reject you," she said softly.

Edward looked over at Anthony to see if he was paying attention to them. When he saw that his son was busily sorting crayons by color and size, Edward stepped closer to Bella and lowered his voice.

"So…Saturday night…I'll pick you up…around six?" he said.

"Great. Any hints as to what we're doing?" she asked.

"I just thought we'd have dinner and then if it's not raining, we'll head out to the river and if it is raining we'll…do something else," Edward answered vaguely.

"Sounds great," Bella said in a way that told Edward she really meant it.

His eyes zeroed in on her lips and the urge to kiss her right then was so overwhelming that he almost did. Most likely, his desire was evident on his face, because Bella's eyes slid over to Anthony before she took a small step back.

Saturday seemed too far away.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" Bella asked suddenly, her thoughts seemingly in tandem with his.

"Well…I was going to go to Walmart," Edward said.

"In Port Angeles?" Bella questioned.

Edward nodded. "I need to get Anthony a bed."

"I don't know if the stuff they have in stock at the store is really that great of quality. Have you tried looking online or locally at Windfall? Even the Salvation Army might have something you like." Bella asked.

"The shipping is outrageous online," he answered. Although he had extra money, now that the retroactive pay had made its way to him, he didn't want to squander it on things like shipping and handling.

"I'm sorry," Bella apologized suddenly. "I'm not…it's not that I think you need me to tell you what to do. It just seems like a lot to do in a day."

"No, it's cool," Edward said. "And you're right. It is a lot to do in a day, but Walmart's stuff comes disassembled. I can fit it into my car. If I get something used at Windfall or even at the Salvation Army, I probably won't be able to get it in my car."

"Well…" Bella hedged. "I know someone with a truck…if you maybe…didn't find anything at Walmart."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

At the prospect of spending the afternoon with Bella, Edward didn't even bother going to Port Angeles on Friday. Fortunately, for Bella, she hadn't steered him wrong. They found an older set of pine bunk beds at the Salvation Army, and the proprietor was nice enough to hold them for an hour while they drove over to Windfall to see if they had anything better.

It was like it was just sitting in the store, waiting for them. Or, more appropriately, waiting for Anthony.

Edward and Bella walked right by it as they browsed through the small, cramped and cluttered store.

"Hey, Edward, what size bed do you have?" Bella asked as she stood before a masculine looking wrought iron and wooden headboard.

Edward came and stood beside her and looked at the item. Truthfully, he couldn't care less about whether or not his bed had a headboard. He didn't even have sheets.

"Queen, I think," he answered nonetheless.

"Hmm," Bella tapped her forefinger against her bottom lip.

"Why? How much is it?" Edward asked.

At that exact moment, Anthony's high-pitched voice could be heard as he called for Miss Swan over and over and over.

"They have a race car bed! There's a race car bed here!" he pointed excitedly toward the far wall.

The headboard was abandoned as Edward and Bella walked over to see what Anthony was jumping up and down and waving his hands frantically about.

"It looks like a giant sandbox or something," Bella said.

"No, it's a bed," Edward said as he moved a table and lamp aside to lay the bed down flat. "The mattress goes here," he pointed to the rectangle-shaped void in the center.

"Wow," Bella said as she scoped out the decals and finish on the hard plastic body. "This is in great condition."

"We got it in yesterday afternoon," the saleswoman said as she quietly walked up behind the trio. "We don't usually have items like this here. We usually just have clothes and small furniture items like end tables and floor lamps. I wasn't going to take this, but it looks like it's a good thing I did," she indicated towards the beaming Anthony.

"Can I have it, Miss Swan?" Anthony asked.

Bella beckoned to him with her finger, and when Anthony was right in front of her, she leaned down and whispered into his ear. Seconds later, Anthony hopped over to Edward.

"Can I please have the race car bed?" he asked.

Edward pretended to be unsure as he asked the clerk how much the bed was.

"Two hundred dollars," she answered.

_Whoa. _Edward hadn't planned on spending quite that much, although he did happen to have it.

"Two hundred dollars?" Bella echoed as she stepped over to Edward. "Isn't that a bit much for a used bed for a child?"

"Well…I looked it up on Ebay, and beds like this go for between four and six hundred dollars. So I think two hundred is a pretty good deal. Plus, look how happy he is. He'll love it," the clerk said of Anthony.

Edward and Bella traded glances. Bella opened her mouth to speak and then clamped it shut. "It's up to you," she finally said.

"What do you think? Is it too much?" Edward asked.

Bella looked back over at the bed. It _was _in great condition. The decals were vibrant and intact and there were no markings that she could see – a rare occurrence for a secondhand child's bed. And to see Anthony this excited for something, after what he'd been through…

"I think, if you can do it, maybe you should," Bella offered.

By this time, Anthony had his hands clasped together in front of his face, pleading with Edward to make the purchase.

"You won't take $185?" Edward bargained.

"Please?" Anthony asked the clerk.

She seemed reluctant at first, but then she slowly relented, shrugging and nodding her acceptance of the price.

"I'll pull the truck around back while you pay," Bella said quickly before the lady changed her mind.

After paying, Edward came out to load the bed into the back of the truck. Anthony looked out from the truck's rear mirror, supervising, as Edward carefully placed the bed.

"I'll be right back," Bella said as she raced back inside the store. It wasn't until she came out carrying the headboard that she'd been admiring, that Edward knew what she was up to. He took it from her and tied it down in the back of the truck as well.

"I was thinking we might drop this off over at the new place? I have a garage there…since I'm moving tomorrow, it doesn't really make sense to move it twice," Edward hedged.

"Sure. How do you get there?" Bella asked. Edward began listing off the directions, but Bella quickly held her hand up to silence him. "Why don't I just let you drive?"

"Your truck?" Edward asked, shocked by her generosity.

"Sure, why not?" Bella shrugged. "It'd be much easier than giving me directions, trust me. I always hesitate and miss the turns when people are giving me directions."

Bella handed over her keys and helped Anthony into the back the truck as Edward got into the driver's side.

"Anthony, don't you think your dad did a great job of getting your bed today? Did you tell him thank you?" Bella intervened as she made sure Anthony had buckled his seat belt.

Edward felt awkward as he turned toward his son to accept his accolades, but he did it anyway.

"Thank you," Anthony said in a small voice.

"You're welcome, son."

Though is voice was diminutive, the way Anthony's eyes lit up as he expressed his gratitude made the near two hundred dollars Edward had just spent seem like an insignificant amount.

Edward revved the engine before maneuvering Bella's truck out of the parking lot and toward home. He liked the feel of all that power beneath his hands. And if he was being honest, he didn't mind the cute little boy in the back seat or the beautiful woman at his side.

The thrift store was only a few short miles from Edward's new residence. When he pulled up in front of it, he left the truck running to signal that he wasn't planning on staying long. He really didn't want Bella to see the place until he was fully moved in.

After successfully wresting Anthony's new bed into the small one-car garage, Edward turned to see Bella working to get the headboard she'd purchased out of the back of the truck as well.

"What's this?" he pointed to it.

"Housewarming present," she told him.

"Bella…you didn't have to do that," Edward told her.

"I know. I wanted to," she told him.

Edward winked at her. And if they hadn't been under the scrupulous gaze of one five-year-old, he would have kissed her.

Saturday.

And finally, after a night of packing and pizza with Bella, Saturday finally arrived. True, there was an entire day of heavy lifting, cleaning and a lot of back and forth, but at the end of the evening, Edward would be with Bella once again. And this time, they'd be alone.

"I still can't believe she's giving you the keys," Jasper shook his head in amazement as he emptied to contents of one of Edward's kitchen drawers into a box.

Edward simply shrugged and tried to hide the smile that was threatening to erupt across his face.

"She? As in Bella?" Alice rounded the corner with wide eyes. "She's giving you the keys to her apartment?"

Edward shut down immediately, and when he failed to answer, Alice turned to Jasper.

"Even better," Jasper said. "Her _truck_."

Alice openly scoffed. "Just like a guy to care more about a vehicle than something as commitment-signaling as keys to the front door. I should have known better than to get my hopes up."

"Hey…he's only kissed her," Jasper added. "You can't expect her to give up the house keys already."

"What?!" Alice rounded on Edward.

"Hey!" Edward shot Jasper a begrudging look before looking across to the nearly empty living room where Anthony was laying on the floor, busily coloring on a sheet of paper. "Keep it down," he cautioned.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Alice pinched Edward on his bicep.

Edward swatted her hand away. "You really need me to answer that question?"

"You'd better be nice to me. You might need my help," Alice warned.

"I've seen your brand of help…and, no thanks," Edward attempted to walk away from her.

"Oh would you get over it already!" Alice yelled at him. "I swear you hold a grudge longer than my Italian grandmother!"

"He doesn't need your help anyway. He finally found his balls and asked her out," Jasper grinned.

"No way!" Alice slapped Edward on the arm. Hard. "You asked her out? And she said yes? Is that why me and Jas are babysitting tonight? Which is help, by the way."

Edward leveled a stare in Jasper's direction. "If you're ever stranded on the side of the road, don't call me."

"Oh like she wasn't going to find out," Jasper shrugged.

"Find out what?" Emmett asked as he emerged from the back of the apartment where he had dismantled Edward's bed.

Suddenly Jasper, Alice and Edward were rendered mute as they searched for a nonchalant way to avoid answering the question.

Ever since Emmett had muttered that he and "Rose" were through, his friends had taken to walking on eggshells around him whenever a relationship topic was brought up. Alice and Jasper toned down their public displays of affection, even in their own home, whenever Emmett was around them.

It hadn't been an issue for Edward, until now - now that he and Bella had shared a kiss.

Kissing Bella.

It was absolutely everything and nothing Edward had imagined, all rolled up into one experience. And if just kissing her was that hot, imagine what it would be like to…

"Man, you have the weirdest grin on your face right now," Emmett quipped.

"Who? Me?" Edward stooped down to pick up a stray bundle of newspaper that he was using as a cushion between glasses.

"Yeah. What's up?" Emmett pressed.

"Oh, nothing. Just thinking."

"'Bout what?" Emmett asked as if he were obligated to.

However, Edward would have rather he didn't ask. Because there was no way that he was going to go on and on about the new woman in his life when Emmett had just split from his. And judging from the way Jasper and Alice had suddenly thrown themselves into packing up the last of Edward's DVDs, they felt the same way.

"Just thinking about how much work I have to do," Edward lied. "This seems never ending."

Emmett nodded as he looked around, seemingly satisfied with Edward's answer.

The group of friends worked consistently for a few hours before Anthony found Edward and announced that he was hungry. His words served as a reminder for everyone else that they were lacking in nourishment. Jasper wasted no time commenting that since Edward was benefiting from their efforts, at the very least he could cover their lunch.

"Yeah, in a minute," Edward said, as if he'd actually given thought to providing them food. "I just have to wait for Bella to get here with the truck."

Alice sidled up to him then, and when Edward saw her glance over her shoulder to see if anyone was watching, he knew she was up to no good.

"So…Jasper said we're watching Anthony over at your place, but should we bring him to our house…in case things turn into an all night event?" she batted her eyes at him.

"No," Edward said simply.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive," Edward nodded. "I can't move Anthony to a new place and then make him spend his first night there alone. It's something we need to do together. Plus…I don't know…it's too soon for a sleepover."

"Wow," Alice stated with raised eyebrows.

"What?" Edward was uncomfortable under her amused gawking.

Alice shook her head and changed the subject, but the laughter in her eyes wasn't lost on Edward.

"Is there…anything I should do…you know…to make tonight easier for him? Last time I babysat him, it ended with that horrible fiasco with Vicki," she asked in a rare moment of seriousness.

"Yes, whatever you do, don't bring that up to him," Edward said.

He was about to reintroduce Alice to Anthony's finicky palate, but he heard a car door slam outside.

Edward was out of the front door before Alice could form the words in her mouth into a sentence.

"Hey," Edward greeted Bella at the door. He'd just spent the entire evening with her the day before, yet he was still hungry for her presence as she strolled up to the porch. He was so busy looking at the nervous expression on her face, that he almost didn't notice the numerous shopping bags she was carrying.

"I brought lunch," she held them up to him.

Jasper heard her from his post in the apartment, and he immediately appeared to relieve her of her load.

"Thanks, Bella! I was about to start gnawing on the countertops," he smiled.

"Bella…you didn't need to do that," Edward said. It was starting to sound like a mantra between the two of them.

"It makes me feel like I'm helping," she said.

"You are helping. You're taking Anthony and you're letting me use your truck," Edward reminded her.

"True," Bella smiled, but the usual light wasn't behind it.

Edward cocked his head to the side and eyed her dubiously. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah. I just…can't wait until tonight," she exhaled.

"That makes two of us." Edward looked over his shoulder before stepping out onto the landing and shutting the door behind him.

Bella looked momentarily stunned as Edward pulled her into an embrace. "Thanks for everything," he said before softly brushing her lips with his. "Sorry. I couldn't wait until tonight to do that."

"I'm glad you didn't," Bella said breathlessly.

Just as he leaned in to kiss her again, the front door whipped open and Alice was standing tall, barely peeking above Edward's elbow.

"Bella! You have some explaining to do," she said, her hands on her hips.

Leave it to Alice to ruin the moment.

Bella successfully avoided Alice by stating that she had to take Anthony to the park like she'd promised. At the mention of the park, Anthony moved toward Bella like a flash of light.

Edward watched as Alice tried to kiss and coddle Anthony a bit, probably in preparation of babysitting him that evening. Anthony endured it, but the second he was free, his hand was in Bella's and he was glued to her side, peering at Alice cautiously.

There was a flurry of activity as Edward and Bella traded keys and vehicles. Their goodbyes were energized with the promise to meet up again in a few hours. And with that, Bella and Anthony left Edward and his friends to their work.

And work, it certainly was.

Hours flew by like minutes as they heaved box after box into the back of Bella's truck. As he loaded up his first set of boxes, the dent and scraped paint near the tailgate caught Edward's eye and reminded him or recent events. He chose to render the thoughts to the back of his mind and focus on the task at hand. He threw himself into moving as quickly and efficiently as possible, and since he didn't have much by way of large pieces of furniture, after a few trips, the apartment was empty.

At half past four o'clock in the afternoon, Edward was looking through the vacant apartment, and ticking off the things he still needed to do before he was able to leave and get ready for his date that evening.

"Just go, man. We'll handle the rest of this," Emmett said as he noisily walked up behind Edward.

"I at least wanted to get Anthony's room set up before I left tonight," Edward said.

"Are you kidding?" Jasper had overheard and entered the room with a half-eaten banana in his hand. "Alice is over there. Your entire place will be unpacked and put away before you even get there."

Edward gave in and set to leave his apartment. He did a once over in his bedroom, making sure he didn't leave anything behind, and that's when he noticed Gus, still in the shoebox in the top of the closet.

"Oh, I forgot to throw that out," Emmett said as he watched Edward remove the box and tuck it under his arm.

"Thank god you didn't. Anthony wants this thing at the weirdest times. And I have a feeling the first night in a new place might be one of those times." When he saw the inquisitive look on Emmett's face, he added, "It's a puppet his grandmother made for him before she…you know. Anyway, it came apart in the dryer, but Anthony still wants to keep it."

Emmett nodded but looked at Edward like he was crazy. As Edward walked away, he mused that that was often the same look guys gave their friends when they fell in love for the first time. Children and women. Sometimes they both made guys do crazy things.

And in regards to women and crazy, Jasper had been right. Alice had unleashed on Edward's new place. Though most things weren't really unpacked, all of the boxes were stacked in the rooms they belonged in.

"You're here just in time to bring Anthony's bed upstairs. I washed it off, but I couldn't lift it," Alice said.

Edward was secretly glad she hadn't finished Anthony's room. For an unexplainable reason, he wanted to do that part.

"I'll take care of it," he said. "And thanks, Alice."

"I hope this means I'm absolved of all wrongdoing," Alice joked.

Edward turned to look at her in amazement. "Is that why you did all of this?"

Alice laughed. "No. I would have done it anyway. I didn't want you to worry about coming home to all of this. I just want you to go out and have a nice time tonight. You and Bella…it should have happened a long time ago."

Maybe. But to Edward, things usually happen as they should, and Bella, most likely, wasn't an exception to that rule.

Setting up Anthony's room, while fulfilling, didn't come with much fanfare. There was a bed, car shaped hooks for his jacket and backpack and a small shelf that was built into the wall. Edward set the box containing Gus on the shelf before he stepped out of the room and went to get ready to meet Bella.

After a shower and a change of clothes, and Alice's unsolicited approval, Edward came downstairs to find Bella and Anthony in his living room.

"I thought I was picking you up," he pointed at her.

"But then we would have had to come back to bring little boy blue, here, home. And it might have seemed weird to him that I was riding shotgun. So…I brought him home. Is that okay?"

Bella was wearing a fitted black dress that stopped a few inches above her knee. Her legs were bare and capped off by a pair of black heels that buckled across her ankle. She looked gorgeous, and by the time Edward stopped paying her visual homage, he was only able to catch the last word she said.

"Okay," he croaked.

Alice came up behind him and let out a low whistle. "You look fabulous, my dear."

"More than fabulous," Edward said as he took the coat Bella held across her arm and helped her slip it on.

Edward made a big deal of saying goodbye to Anthony, assuring him that he'd be back to tuck him into his new bed, before he and Bella made their way out of the front door.

"Oh, and Alice," Edward said as he put the key in the lock, "you're forgiven."

Edward and Bella's conversation on the ride to the restaurant was easy and blithe. They spoke of work and weather and everything but the two of them and what they could expect for the evening. However, when Edward moved around his vehicle to open Bella's car door once they'd arrived, there was no mistaking what this evening meant to the both of them. Bella's eyes sparkled as she looked up at him, and if he looked in the mirror, he was sure his looked the same.

He took her hand as she stepped out of the car, and as they made their way to the restaurant entrance, she didn't let go. Hand-in-hand they stood before the hostess as she informed them that there was a ten-minute wait.

_A wait? In Forks? That never happens._

"The Chamber of Commerce had a member meeting, but I think it's just finishing up. It shouldn't be long," the hostess explained.

It wasn't raining so Edward suggested they wait out on the terrace until their table was ready.

"It's not too cold is it?" Edward asked when he noticed Bella pull her coat tight against her body.

"No, it's fine," Bella said, but when Edward extended his arm, Bella snuggled up against his body and melded into his warmth.

A comfortable silence settled around them. There were no cars entering or exiting the parking lot, no other patrons awaiting a seat, no friends, no kids and no interruptions. Just Edward and Bella, alone at last.

He looked down at her at the same moment she looked up at him. His eyes lowered to her lips and she raised her chin a little higher, as if offering them to him. With his other hand, Edward pulled Bella into an embrace, and she wasted no time wrapping her arms around his waist.

Nose to nose they stood until Edward dipped his head and intersected Bella's lips with his. When she tightened her grip on him and drew him in even closer, Edward deepened the kiss, teasing and tasting her lips until she parted them, just enough for his tongue to meet with hers.

He hummed against her mouth as her fingers traveled along his scalp and cradled his head. She opened her mouth completely to him then and kissed him the way he'd wanted to kiss her for longer than he was willing to confess.

And with no interruptions, their kisses continued for the entire thirteen minutes it took for the restaurant to ready their table.

Edward was completely love drunk as he led Bella by her hand, to their seats. Ineptly he pulled out a chair for Bella and she gracefully sat down before scooting herself closer to the table. Edward sat down across from her and offered her a charismatic smile.

"So…what'd you and Anthony do today?" Edward asked as a conversation opener.

"Well, I took him to the park, like I promised, and he played on the swings for a minute until a group of little boys came up to him and roped him into a game of chase," Bella said.

"How'd that go?" Edward asked skeptically.

Bella shrugged and Edward could tell that she was trying not to tell him something.

"What happened?" Edward asked.

"Well…Anthony isn't…he doesn't seem to enjoy…group activities," Bella finally said. "He's the same way at school. He'll play with one person at a time, or no one at all. I don't think there's anything wrong with it," she added quickly. "Anyway, he wanted to leave right after that. I think large groups intimidate him."

"Huh," Edward said. He'd never actually seen Anthony in a group setting, except for the party he'd had for him at Jasper and Alice's; but that had been mostly adults, and even then, Anthony had spent the majority of his time in the house…with Bella.

"I guess it's hard…not knowing what he was like…before," Bella said softly.

"Yeah," Edward agreed. "And…I did look into that counseling you suggested. I was doing some research on the computer at work and some of the stuff they mentioned about kids who've lost their parents…well Anthony does some of that stuff."

"Like what?" Bella was curious.

"One thing was that he draws. A lot. Like he's trying to tell me something, except he never actually gives me the pictures. I just find them all over the house."

"What are they of?"

"People. People and houses," Edward shrugged. "I also read that the size of the people in the pictures mean something. But I can't figure out who's who in the pictures."

"Do you ask him?"

"Nah. I don't want him to know I'm looking at his stuff."

"Why not? I doubt he's trying to hide anything. He is only five, after all."

"Yeah."

"I think he wants you to ask, Edward."

"Why do you say that?"

Bella played with a sugar packet as she settled on an answer. "He just…when I took him from Vicki's that night…we had a little conversation. I asked him why he doesn't call you Dad. You have noticed that, right?"

Edward nodded. "I noticed."

"Well, he said that you never asked him to. He's waiting for you."

The waiter interrupted them then, offering them drink choices before he began to rattle off the specials for the evening. Edward motioned to Bella, allowing her to make her selection first. After she did so, Edward ordered the same, not even paying attention to what she'd chosen. But everything she'd ever cooked for him had tasted unbelievable, so he was sure she had probably selected the best thing on the menu.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to make this into a parent-teacher conference," Bella said when they were alone once again.

"You didn't," Edward reassured her. "I'll talk to him about the dad thing. And I think I was a bit of a loner when I was a kid, too. I didn't really have birthday parties. I had what my mom called "birthday activities". It'd be me and one friend going to the movies or something. I couldn't interact well with more than one person at a time either."

Edward noticed that Bella tensed at something he said and she fidgeted in her seat and looked around for her purse, like she thought she'd misplaced it. When she saw it, right where she'd placed it on the chair beside her, she shifted it around a bit before looking over at Edward.

"I have to tell you something," she said in one breath.

Here it comes. Edward braced himself for the I-have-a-boyfriend-in-another-town speech. Or the I-don't-think-this-is-a-very-good-idea sermon. Or, his personal favorite, the I-don't-think-we're-in-the-same-place letdown.

"What's up?" he sat back and asked casually as if internally, he wasn't teetering between disappointment and despair.

Bella reached inside her purse and pulled out a small slip of paper, but she didn't hand it over to him. Instead, she glanced around the restaurant before leaning in and saying in a low voice:

"Promise me you won't get mad and do anything rash," she began.

Edward hated when people asked him to make those blind promises. It usually guaranteed that whatever they said was going to make him mad and do something rash.

"Just tell me," he said, sans promise.

"Okay," Bella assented and nodded. "When I went to the grocery store this morning to get stuff for lunch…your…mom followed me out to the parking lot," Bella whispered.

At first, Edward had been so elated that Bella hadn't given him the brush-off for some other guy that he almost, foolishly, consoled himself with an inner monologue that solidified to him that nothing else mattered.

But then her words registered.

_His mother. _

_Esme_. She was back.

"What?" Edward asked, his back as rigid as stone. "What did she tell you?"

"She tried…" Bella shook her head. "I wouldn't let her tell me anything. She just wrote down her information and asked me to call…or to have you call her."

"What the hell?" Edward grabbed the paper angrily and shoved it into his pocket.

"Edward," Bella reached across the table and took his hand. Edward kept his eyes on his hand as Bella intertwined her fingers with his. "Edward, I don't know what's going on…but…I'm getting a little nervous."

"It doesn't concern you. You don't need to worry about it," Edward said in a gravely low tone.

"You say that…but she was sitting outside my house, following me to god only knows how many places, and now, cornering me at the supermarket. Just tell me, Edward. Is she dangerous? I'm getting scared." Bella pleaded.

At first, Edward sat still, like he wasn't going to acknowledge Bella's request for information. Then he let out a long sigh, pulled his hand from hers and sat up straight in his chair. When he finally looked at her, the walls were up and it was obvious. Someone was going to get hurt here, and it wasn't going to be him.

"That depends on what you mean by dangerous," he finally said.


	19. Chapter 19 18 and Life

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 19 – 18 and Life**

Bella watched the severe change in Edward's mood and body language with cautious interest. She could see him shutting down before her and she was determined not to allow it. The last thing she wanted was to go back – back to how they once were.

"Edward, when you said that we would talk, I kind of had the impression that you…trusted me," Bella said evenly.

"It's not a matter of trust," Edward denied. "There are just…can we talk about something else?"

Bella stared at him silently for a few moments as she considered her answer. Had she not just told him that his mother was freaking her out? She wanted his assurance that Esme Cullen wouldn't cause her anymore harm than she already had.

Of course, not having seen a person in over twelve years would kind of make it impossible to be an expert on behavioral traits.

Edward had no clue what Esme was like, and he was probably just as scared as she was. Bella didn't know much about men, but she knew they didn't like to show fear.

"So, you're not working tomorrow?" she asked, to change the subject.

Edward shook his head. "Nah. I'm gonna tie up some loose ends over at the apartment and then I'll be done with it."

The delivery of their dinner bridged the awkwardness, and after cursory pleasantries about how the meal tasted, an uncomfortable silence blanketed the table.

"Edward…" Bella began and stopped. If he didn't want to talk to her…if he no longer wanted to be there with her, she wanted to give him an out. "If you're not up to this…" she waved her hand between the two of them.

Edward sighed before putting down his fork on the napkin provided. "No…yeah. I mean, I am. I really want to be here with you tonight. I just…what you said, that really caught me off guard."

"I'm sorry," Bella apologized as she looked down at the table.

"Don't. Don't apologize. I'm glad you told me; I just needed a minute to digest it all. I'm good," Edward adjusted.

"Really?"

"Really," he insisted.

Bella nodded and turned her attention back to her food. Slowly she dragged her fork across the remaining pasta while she searched her mind for a safe topic of discussion.

A slow movement caused her hand to tingle and Bella looked over just as Edward placed his hand atop hers.

"I didn't mean to be a dick," Edward said.

"Hey, if I can't apologize, neither can you," Bella winked at him.

Edward smirked and pushed his plate away. "You wanna get outta here?"

"Sure," Bella nodded before reaching for her coat and purse while Edward paid the bill.

Since it wasn't raining, Edward drove toward the river, like he'd originally suggested. However, the sun had long since set and Bella silently wondered if he expected her to go trudging through the forest to the river in the dark. She didn't want to mess up whatever it was that he had planned, but to say that she was terrified of what else might be lurking in the darkness was an understatement.

Yet, despite her reservations, Bella remained quiet while Edward pulled up at the forest's edge and turned off his car. She smiled to herself when it seemed like they were going to park and make out, like a couple of high school students. But that thought dissipated as soon as Edward shut off the engine of his car and climbed out.

"We're uh…going in there?" Bella said, her voice defying the confidence she was trying so diligently to display.

"Sure," Edward nodded. "You've never been here at night?"

"No," Bella answered solidly.

Edward held his hand out to her, and she took it without hesitation. He led her toward a narrow paved road that was usually populated by cyclists during the day.

But at night, it was desolate and empty.

An owl sounded in the distance and Bella started at the noise. Edward softly chuckled as she removed her hand from his and rested it tightly in the crook of his elbow. She closed the gap between them and leaned into his side.

"Did you see that?" Bella asked as she stopped walking suddenly and pointed to a moving shadow just ahead of them.

"Relax, Bella. It's just a cat," Edward laughed.

"How do you know it's a cat? You can't see it any better than I can," Bella told him.

When Edward didn't say anything in return, Bella settled down, fearing that he was misinterpreting her anxiety as discontent with their date.

"It's a beautiful night," she said to accentuate the positive. "The air smells so clean."

"If it's one thing we have in Forks, it's clean air. The rain makes sure of that," Edward returned.

"Have you been here all your life?" Bella asked.

"Basically," Edward shrugged. "I left for a bit…came back. It's not much, but it's what I know."

Bella nodded at his admission. "There's comfort in familiarity." She was going to tell him how she often missed home when she was lonely, but something moved in a nearby bush and it startled her and she lost her train of thought.

Abruptly, Edward halted and made a wide u-turn, pulling Bella with him, back in the direction they'd just come from.

"What is it? Where are we going," Bella quaked, ready to sprint at a moment's notice.

Edward laughed. "You should see the look on your face." He led her to a wide, open area, where a streetlamp across the parking lot did well to illuminate their path. Through a small gate, a footbridge appeared and as they crossed it, Bella could hear the trickle of water beneath. They continued to walk until she could see and hear the unfurling waves of the rushing river current.

"Is this better?" Edward asked of their well-lit, wide open, location.

"Wow," Bella sighed in amazement. "I've probably passed this area a thousand times and never really paid attention. This is so nice."

"Its' better at night," Edward assured her. He turned to look at Bella just then, before she could hide the look of disagreement on her face. He scoffed at her fright.

"Sorry. I'm easily intimidated by things that go bump in the night," Bella laughed at her own insecurity.

"Yeah, well, when you grow up as fast as I did, you get over being afraid of the dark, really quickly."

Bella nodded affirmatively, but offered no words. Edward had just offered a tidbit about his past, and perhaps, by association, his mother. She held her breath waiting to see if he'd go on.

He did.

"When, as a kid, you wake up from a nightmare, only to realize that the nightmare was better than your reality, things that move and mumble in the dark corners don't seem like that big of a deal anymore." Edward leaned against the high railing of the footbridge, and his eyes showed no emotion as he gazed out into the dark waters.

"That sounds terrifying, Edward," Bella said softly, reaffirming that she'd heard him.

"You have no idea," he indicated. "I'd take a dark, howling forest over the overcrowded rooms filled with boys desperate for survival, any day."

Bella's mind sprinted to take in the little morsels of information Edward was doling her way. _A reality worse than a nightmare…overcrowded rooms…boys…desperate for survival. _

It sounded like a…

"Detention center?" Bella asked, making sure her voice held a non-judgmental tone.

Edward openly jeered at the phrase. "No. Detention centers are for those who've been fortunate enough to be deemed guilty. Group home. Now that's the purgatory you linger in until you either go crazy trying to prove your own innocence, or give in to what everyone else is trying to convince you of: you're really guilty; you just got away with it."

So Edward had spent time in a group home. Bella worked to patch the words together like pieces of a torn photograph.

"How long were you in a group home?" Bella treaded lightly. She didn't dare ask what he did to get sent there. It was too soon, and something told her Edward would shut down before he answered it anyway.

"About six years," Edward answered.

"How old were you when you got out?" Bella watched him through guarded eyes as she kept the conversation going.

Edward smirked. "You don't _get out_ of a group home. You leave. And I left on my eighteenth birthday. Not a second too soon, either."

"So you went to a group home when you were _twelve_?" Bella faltered and her voice revealed her emotions regarding such a young boy entering into such a life.

"I went into foster care first, but I kept running away. And each time I ran away, they placed me somewhere new. I kept thinking they'd eventually send me back home, but I got sent to the group home instead. I quit running away after that, because I knew I couldn't handle being sent someplace worse."

Bella halted her lingering questions in expectation of Edward going on and shedding some light on his early years.

Leaves rustled, ripples gurgled and crickets chirped.

But Edward remained noiseless.

"Where'd you go? When you left at eighteen?" Bella prompted.

"Jasper and I moved into this studio apartment," Edward laughed as he remembered. "It was so small, but he just wanted to get out on his own and I couldn't wait to get away from all those rules and the fighting…and all the people in the group home. There was just too much coming and going."

"Jasper?" Bella hadn't realized they'd known each other that long. "Was he in the group home with you?"

"No. We met just after I graduated high school. I got a job on an orchard. It sucked, but it got me out of the house and put enough money in my pocket to get me on my own. Anyway, that's where I met Jasper. Alice was around, but they didn't start dating seriously until a few months later. After that, it got too difficult to share the one room, so he moved in with her and I got another job at the mill to make the rent. That's where I met Emmett."

"Wow, you guys have been friends for a long time," Bella commented. She wished she could say the same thing, but most of her friends had materialized in college, and though she kept in contact with a few, the distance really strangled their bond.

"Yeah. I don't know what I would have done without them. We've help each other through some pretty heinous shit."

While Bella was wondering if Emmett, Jasper, and by association Alice, knew why Edward had been in a group home, Edward mentioned Anthony's mother. Immediately, her thoughts perished and he had her full attention.

"We dated on and off and she must have told me she was pregnant ten different times." Edward ran his fingers through his hair nervously.

"You didn't use birth control?" Bella specifically didn't reference condoms, as that made the comment seem too personal…and it would have alerted Edward to the fact that she was thinking about his penis.

"She said she was on the pill, but I was just a stupid kid, what did I know, ya know? If she said she thought she was pregnant, I believed her…every time." The next sentence came out so softly that Bella was sure it wasn't meant for her ears. "And then it was finally true."

"So you think she got pregnant on purpose?" Bella asked. "To keep you around?"

Edward shook his head and shrugged his shoulders simultaneously. "That's the thing I don't get. We didn't get along _at all_. We fought constantly. She was really jealous of everything and everybody. And she seemed to want this life that I wanted no part of, nor could I give her.

"When she told me she was pregnant the last time…I guess I could tell it was really true. She sounded scared and…she told me she didn't want any reminders of our relationship. She said she 'took care of it' and that was that."

"She told you she had an abortion?" Bella gasped.

Edward nodded. "Sometimes it's so hard to even look at Anthony knowing I sent his mother money to get rid of him," Edward sighed. "I'm just so sick of feeling guilty."

"And you shouldn't," Bella quickly told him. "Whatever your thoughts on abortion are, everyone knows that until that baby is actually born, a mother can make any choice she wants."

"Yeah, but I didn't have to _pay_ for it," Edward said right before cussing under his breath.

"Well, you didn't. Thankfully," Bella said, to lighten the mood. She kept her eyes directed toward the water beneath her, even though the sounds of it gave more evidence to its existence than the sight of it.

The nearly full moon depicted the arrival of the eight o'clock hour as well as a booming grandfather clock. Edward had mentioned that he needed to be the one to put Anthony to bed on this first night in their new home, so Bella knew their first date was winding to a close. She didn't want to be overly talkative, so she wordlessly mulled over the things Edward had told her thus far as she waited for his conclusions to their outing.

"I bet you're thinking you wish you had all this information _before_ you agreed to go out with me," Edward's grin held no mirth as he stepped back from the railing and turned to face Bella.

"Actually, I was thinking that you have really great friends," Bella turned to look at him. She was happy to be able to respond to him honestly, because at that moment, she was thinking that Emmett and Jasper had probably been a large part of the reason Edward had turned out as well as he had.

"Yeah, Jasper and Emmett are good guys," Edward agreed. "Although I'm not sure how much longer you should refer to them as my friends. They're pretty fond of you."

Bella just smiled and looked back down at the river. It was rushing wildly and the sound was soothing but loud. So loud that she almost didn't hear Edward's next admission.

"And they're not the only ones."

Bella looked over to find Edward watching her intensely, attempting to gauge her reaction at what he'd just said.

He looked so serious.

"Oh, you mean Anthony," Bella smiled as she faked her misunderstanding.

Edward continued to look serious for a few beats before his face erupted into a smile. "No, I didn't mean Anthony," he said, laughing, as he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her to him.

Bella circled her arms around his neck as she reveled in the feeling of being close to him once again.

"I'm pretty fond of you, too," she whispered right before his mouth enveloped hers.

The hunger that fueled Edward's kisses was evident as his strong, masculine hands tightened against Bella's back and pressed her body to his. Gone were the tentative touches of their first kiss; the polite passions of their public display at the restaurant a distant memory.

Now, alone in the wilderness and cloaked by the darkness of night, Edward and Bella held nothing back as they physically expressed what their words did not.

Hands that clutched frantically at clothing and bare skin conveyed the pent up energy that hastened to get out. Eyes that flashed beneath drawn eyelids disclosed the vulnerability of their feelings. Lips that greedily sucked and pulled – teeth that benevolently seized and stung; tongues that urgently stroked and fervently partook…_I care about you; I want you; I adore you; I yearn for you; I trust you; I admire you; I need you…_

A sigh of craving was expelled from Bella's lips while Edward heated her skin with a trail of kisses from her jaw to her collarbone and back to her waiting mouth. Frenzied fingers foraged through a cacophony of bark-colored hair as Bella held Edward's face to hers. Boldly she licked his lips and when his tongue quickly darted from between his teeth to meet with hers, she drew it into a searing, open-mouthed lip-lock.

Charged by the emotions of the moment, Edward pressed Bella up against the railing of the footbridge, his body molding to hers. She could feel the folds of his jacket, the buttons on his shirt, the rivet on his jeans and the evidence of his arousal in the form of a large protrusion thrust against her stomach.

Bella was thankful that her own arousal wasn't as obvious, because if it were, Edward would have known that it would have been impossible for her to turn away any advances he made toward her that night.

But instead of make any forward indications, Edward backed off. His kisses lightened until he and Bella were simply huddled in one another's arms, listening to the bellowing beats of one another's hearts.

"I think someone's waiting for you at home," Bella whispered softly.

"I know," Edward said. His tone revealed that he'd been thinking about the same thing.

Bella moved to free Edward from her embrace, but he tightened his hold on her. "Not yet," he breathed into her hair.

She giggled, but settled back into her previous position without pause.

"So…" Edward began. "About that _someone_ who's waiting for me at home…"

"What are we going to tell him?" Bella guessed.

"Exactly. I mean…is there something to tell…I mean…there is, right?" Edward hemmed and hawed around the point.

Bella thought about what Edward was asking. Did he want to label what they had? Were they in a relationship or headed toward one?

She sure hoped so.

"Is that what you want?" Bella asked, trying to draw Edward's intentions out of him.

"I think it's pretty clear what I want, Bella."

Bella couldn't help laughing. "Yeah…I guess you've dropped a few hints along the way."

"What's that supposed to mean," Edward leaned back so that she could see that he was smiling.

"Well…and maybe I'm wrong, but remember the first time you asked me to babysit Anthony? When you went to the utility company and I brought Anthony home with me from school?"

"Yeah?"

"Well…you knew my address. And you tried to cover by saying that you got it out of the directory, only, I intentionally didn't put my address in the directory. So, I knew you had made some sort of effort to get my address."

"What if I just overheard someone say where you lived?"

"No one knows where I live."

"Alice does."

Bella craned her neck to look him in the face. She immediately noticed the mocking expression he wore.

"So you did ask about me?" Bella was no longer sure.

"Maybe," Edward taunted.

"Well whaddya know. Alice _can _keep a secret."

"Pssh. Like hell she can. I didn't ask her, Jasper did. And then he told me. There are ways around Alice's big mouth. It just requires a little work."

It was nice, just laughing and talking and kissing and touching; but time was running out. So without further dawdling, Bella allowed Edward to weave his fingers through hers as they headed back to his car.

"Maybe we shouldn't say anything to Anthony," Bella thought aloud. "At least not unless he asks."

"And if he asks?" Edward wondered.

"If he asks…" Bella had no idea. "What do you want to tell him?"

"Well…I can tell him that we're special friends."

Bella made a face. She didn't think _special friend_ made her sound special at all. "We can just tell him we're friends. It's the truth…sort of. And if we keep our behavior platonic in front of him, I don't think he'd have any reason to question that. Do you?"

"Define platonic," Edward insisted before he gave his opinion on the friend determination.

"I won't be shoving my tongue down your throat in his presence."

"Well…can we do this?" Edward held up their joined hands.

"Sure. I don't see a problem with holding hands."

"What about this?" he reached over and palmed Bella's ass over her jacket.

"I don't think so," she laughed.

"What about this?" He leaned down and kissed her briefly on the side of her face.

"Um…" but before she could fully answer, Edward moved to her mouth and silenced any further discussion she had for him.

And she didn't dissuade him at all.

By the time they made it back to Edward's home, they had managed to have a serious, focused discussion on how they would deal with their relationship in Anthony's presence. Bella knew that Anthony was a very observant child and that he would most likely be able to sort out that the bond she shared with his father was above and beyond that which he shared with other women.

Therefore, it was decided that they would answer any and all questions as succinctly as Anthony would allow. They knew he'd continue to question until he felt satisfied with the answers, and they hoped that his questions would be an outward manifestation of what he was ready to accept, understand and handle.

"I'm gonna say goodnight here," Bella said as she let herself out of Edward's car.

"You sure you don't want to come in? Just for a second?" Edward asked.

Bella shook her head in response. "I don't want to get in the way. Anthony's been waiting for you all evening."

Bella knew Edward didn't take her decline of his offer to be a rejection. She knew that he really wanted to make Anthony comfortable in their new home. It was a milestone of sorts and she placed just as much importance on it as Edward did.

"I hope he's not asleep," Edward's eyes searched the second floor windows for signs of light.

"Well if he is, wake him up," Bella said. "Make a big deal of things. It's what Anthony needs."

Bella stepped toward Edward until there was no space between them. "Thank you for a lovely night. I had a great time with you," she said before kissing him softly on the lips.

Edward kissed her back before returning his gratitude in a hushed tone. "And thank you…for…you know."

Bella frowned slightly. She didn't know.

"For not asking about what's going on with my mother. I know you want to know…and I want to tell you. I just…can't. Not right now," he clarified.

Bella rubbed his shoulder reassuringly. "I won't pressure you to talk before you're ready, but when you are, I _will_ be here for you. And if Esme tries to find me again, I'll…well I have no idea what I'll do, but I won't talk to her."

Edward nodded stiffly and Bella knew the subject was closed. After a final kiss, she crossed the lot to her truck and climbed inside.

That night, as she lay in her bed reflecting on the evening, her final thoughts resided with Edward, and how he'd tucked Anthony in, for the first time, in his own bedroom. She'd wanted to see it so badly, and it had been difficult to refuse Edward's offer to go inside. But she knew that there were going to many times when she'd have to take a backseat to Edward and Anthony's relationship, and this was definitely one of those times.

Nine hours later, Bella was awoken by the sound of her telephone ringing obnoxiously from its place on the nightstand. She smiled immediately, expecting it to be Edward.

It was more than a slight letdown when it wasn't him calling.

"Bella?" Asked the voice. "Long time no talk."

Bella sat up in her bed and swallowed to clear her morning hoarseness. "Rosalie?"

"I'm surprised you still recognize my voice."

"Oh don't give me that. You haven't called me either."

Silence tinted the line as each woman awaited the other to speak. Finally Rosalie let out an awkward chuckle.

"Well…it's like that, huh?" she asked combatively.

"Like what?" Bella didn't back down.

"You're not talking to me."

"You called me, Rosalie. That usually indicates that you have something to say."

"Look, I thought we were friends. And then all of a sudden, you just quit talking to me. I called to see what was up."

"I didn't quit talking to you, Rosalie. You had better things to do than spend weekday evenings at the pizza place or at the local bar with me. Am I right?"

"What have you heard?" Rosalie asked.

Bella glanced over at her clock. It wasn't even nine o'clock in the morning, yet instead of sleeping, Rosalie wanted her to pretend that she didn't know about the affair with Derek and the dissolved relationship with Emmett.

Well it was too early in the morning for guessing games.

"I heard you cheated on Emmett with Derek, that's what I heard," Bella stated flatly.

"I didn't cheat on him," Rosalie corrected. "I just…told him I wanted to see other people."

"And are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Seeing other people?"

"Well…just Derek."

"Oh my goodness," Bella muttered in disgust.

"You didn't even like him! You can't be mad about me going out with him when you clearly said that you weren't interested."

"You think that's what I care about?" Bella asked as she kicked off her covers and leapt out of bed. "What about Emmett?"

"Emmett?"

"Yeah. You know that guy you used to live with?"

"Well look who's acting all high and mighty," Rosalie said defensively. "Nevermind the fact that you didn't even know Emmett. The entire time we were dating you barely said two words to him, now all of a sudden you're his emotional protector or something? Meanwhile, you can't talk to me because I've exercised my god-given right to choose someone else? What the hell is that, Bella?"

"I've…spent a little more time with Emmett lately," Bella said vaguely.

There was a loud gasp on the other end of the phone line and Bella realized immediately that Rosalie had misunderstood. However, before she could clarify that it was because of Edward that she was seeing Emmett more often, and not because she was _seeing_ Emmett, the phone line went dead. Rosalie had hung up.

Bella sighed as she put the phone back on her nightstand. She'd deal with Rosalie later, after she'd had at least one cup of coffee. She was gambling that it would take less time to have said coffee than it would take for Rosalie to jump in her car, drive over to Bella's and kick her ass.

As Bella padded through her apartment, she started to notice the things around her home that were being neglected. There was dust on her bookshelf, a pile of mail on the table – she hadn't yet reconciled her bank statement! The carpet hadn't been vacuumed in at least two weeks; Bella usually vacuumed every three days.

And when she entered the kitchen and saw that the message light blinking on her answering machine, she was alerted to something else she had neglected: Thanksgiving.

_"Bella, since I hadn't heard from you, Daddy and I weren't sure you were coming for Thanksgiving. I've called you several times and even emailed. Where are you? I'm getting worried. Call me. I have news."_

Bella didn't know which upset her more, the fact that she didn't really want to go home for Thanksgiving or the fact that her mother "had news". Renee Swan's "news" was never a good thing.

The phone rang when Bella had only made it halfway through her first cup of coffee. It was either Rosalie calling back with a fresh rant, or Bella's mother. Therefore, Bella thought nothing of answering the phone with an apology. It worked for both scenarios.

"Hey, I'm sorry. It's early and I have a few things on my mind-"

"Like Edward?" Alice giggled.

Bella breathed a sigh of relief at not having to deal with her mother or Rosalie just yet. "Man, am I glad to hear your voice."

"Oh yeah?" Alice was clearly waiting to hear an explanation of that statement.

"Rosalie called me early this morning and went off about why I wasn't calling her and then she misunderstood something I said and hung up on me."

"You mean the part about you hooking up with Emmett?" Alice interjected.

"She called you?"

"You bet she called me. Screaming."

"Is she on her way over here?"

"Nah. I calmed her down," Alice assured. "But I did have to tell her about you and Edward. I hope it wasn't supposed to be a secret."

"No, it's not a secret." Bella rubbed her eyes before running that same hand through her tangled hair. "Should I call her now, or give her a little time?"

Alice was silent on the other end of the phone line for a moment. For Alice, that silence was more telling than anything else she could have said.

"I think Rosalie called you because she's…having problems," Alice let out.

"What kind of problems?" Bella sat up straighter.

"Things just…aren't going according to plan-"

"Do they ever?"

"I know, right?" Alice hastened to her next point. "Anyway, I think…well, she can't really come hang out with me because Emmett is here now…and she's always afraid that he'll answer the phone when she calls over here…she just really needs a friend, Bella."

The dread in Alice's voice disarmed Bella. "Is she okay?" Bella asked with remorse.

"I should probably let her tell you. It really…needs to come from her," Alice insisted.

"Oh _now_ you're a reformed gossip?" Bella chided her.

Alice giggled. "Hey, I'm trying!" But then the humor left her voice and she added, "But don't give her too hard of a time about the choice she made regarding Derek and Emmett. I…think she's learned her lesson about that."

"Why? What happened? Did Derek do something to her?" Bella inquired.

"I can't really talk now," Alice whispered.

Right. Emmett. He was most likely already in front of the television watching whatever sports program was on.

"Got it, " Bella said abstractedly. Her mind was on Rosalie and what was possibly going on with her.

"Hey, I have to go, but first you have to tell me why you answered the phone with an apology," Alice stipulated.

"Oh, I thought you were either Rosalie or my mother. I figured an apology was the best way to diffuse whatever screamfest was headed my way."

"Why would your mother scream at you?"

"Because I haven't called her and it's almost Thanksgiving. She wants to make sure I'm coming home."

"Are you?"

Bella groaned at having to answer that question before she'd even figured it out for herself. "I don't want to."

"Because of Edward?"

_Way to put it into perspective Alice. _

"I'm not sure. I mean, everything with Edward is so new, so I can't expect him to drop his plans and I know he doesn't expect that of me…"

"Edward doesn't have any plans. Are you kidding? He's a single guy. Thanksgiving is just another day. Normally he'd come over here, but this year I'm going to my boss's house."

"Your boss?"

"Hey, what can I say? I'm trying to get promoted. Anyway, you should have Edward over."

"You don't think he'd think it was too soon to start spending major holidays together?"

"Honestly, Bella? You're applying Hallmark holiday conditions to your relationship with Edward? I mean, it's not like you two followed the most conventional path to get together in the first place."

"True."

Bella thought about what Alice had said long after the telephone conversation had ended. As she showered, Bella pondered the fact that she and Edward had definitely made their way to one another in a rather unorthodox way. There wasn't an attraction-charged introduction or a first meeting over common ground. But despite the fact that they'd bypassed getting to know one another in such a traditional way, it didn't change the fact that that's where they had ended up – and all the feelings of insecurity and anxiety over not wanting to mess things up were in full effect.

So Bella continued to fret over what Edward's reaction would be if and when she invited him and Anthony over for Thanksgiving dinner.

But as she fretted, she made sure to take care of the things around her apartment that weren't getting her needed attention. She cleaned, vacuumed, folded laundry and reconciled her bank statement.

And when Edward called later that afternoon, she was just as relived as any other woman would be to get that after-the-first-date phone call.

"Hey," he greeted her.

"Hi, Edward." Bella tried and failed in her attempt not to sound overly enthusiastic. "What's up?"

"Not much."

He sounded distracted, but Bella had worked herself into such knots over whether or not to ask Edward for Thanksgiving, that she just blurted out her invitation, giving no mind to the appropriateness of her timing.

"Um, are you busy for Thanksgiving? Because if you want to come over here, that'd be cool. But if you don't…uh, that's cool, too. I just thought you and Anthony might not have…you know…dinner."

"Uh, yeah. Sure. Whatever," Edward answered.

"So…you'll come?" Bella wasn't sure.

"Yeah," Edward reiterated, but his intonation revealed that he was a million miles away. It was even possible that he had no idea that he'd even agreed to come to Thanksgiving dinner.

"What's the matter, Edward?" Bella asked him bluntly. _Had Rosalie called him, too?_

"Oh…nothing. I just, I have to go handle something this afternoon, but if you're not busy tonight, do you wanna hang out?"

"Sure. What time?"

"I'll call you. It shouldn't be too long. I don't know how long I'll be…this afternoon, but it shouldn't be long."

Edward was being intentionally vague. Bella wondered if he was prompting her to ask what he was doing, or if he didn't want to tell her, but was doing a poor job of concealing as much.

"Are you taking Anthony with you?" she pried.

"I'm gonna take him to Jasper's," Edward said.

"Why?" Bella protested.

"Well, I was trying to give you a break. I don't want it to feel like you're the babysitter."

"I don't feel that way. And who says I want a break?"

Edward laughed. "Okay, I'll bring him over, but I have to warn you. I think Alice fed him sugar by the cupful last night. He's hyper as hell."

Edward was not exaggerating. As soon as Anthony entered her apartment, he jittered his way to the spare bedroom and pulled out books, toys and videos and he seemingly had no interest in any of it.

"Oh my," Bella said when she looked Edward. "You weren't kidding."

"She let him eat about a million pixie sticks," Edward said as he shook his head. "It was almost impossible to get him to go to bed last night."

"I hope you brushed his teeth." Bella grimaced at the thought of what all that sugar was doing to Anthony's teeth.

Edward quickly changed the subject and Bella knew that meant that he'd given no thought to Anthony's oral hygiene. Bella planned to break into one of the spare goodie bags leftover from the dentist's visit to her classroom as soon as Edward left.

"Okay, so I shouldn't' be long. I hope…" Edward trailed off.

Bella followed him to the door and straightened his jacket collar as he turned to face her. "So, you want to tell me what's going on or not?" she asked quietly.

"Or not," he returned just as softly.

Bella nodded and peeked up at Edward in enough time to see him leaning down to kiss her. After their lips touched for a brief moment, he placed his hands on her shoulders and gazed into her eyes, "As soon as I'm ready…you'll be the first person I talk to, okay?"

Instantly Bella knew that Edward was telling her, in the best way he was capable, of where he was going. He was going to see Esme. He was going to see his mother.

* * *

_**A Rough Start has been nominated for a Bellie Award under the Category of Story that Makes You Wanna Throw Your Monitor. Gee, are you all trying to tell me something...haha. Thanks for the nomination nods. So cool.**_

_**A Different Forest, where my stories are also hosted, is also up for a Bellie for Best Fansite. Check it out!  
**_


	20. Chapter 20 Stand By Me

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 20 – Stand By Me**

"He's, um…all yours," Alice patted Edward on the arm as she made her way toward the front door. "Goodnight, Anthony!" she called over her shoulder.

"Well wait a minute," Edward attempted to halt her. "Did something happen? Was he difficult or something?"

"No, he was great," Alice answered with shifty eyes. "But I'm not gonna lie, I'm tired as hell. He has more energy than a nuclear power plant."

"Hmm," Edward mused. That didn't sound like Anthony. He was usually pretty subdued, content to immerse himself in a project that didn't include others.

As Edward went into the living room, toward the sound of a blaring television, he heard Alice open the front door, and after a promise to call Bella to get a play-by-play of their date, she was gone.

"Anthony?" Edward approached him cautiously.

Anthony turned toward the sound and then focused on Edward; he held open Pixy Stix in each hand.

"You're here!" he exclaimed with an inappropriate amount of exuberance. His eyes scanned the room and Edward deduced that he was looking for Alice.

"Alice said goodnight. But she had to go home and go to bed, which is exactly what you need to do," Edward said.

But Anthony hadn't been looking for Alice. "Is Miss Swan here?" he asked.

"No. She's at her house," Edward answered. He was almost amused at the near spastic way Anthony was shaking his legs back and forth. "I'll take these." He relieved his son of the candy, which Anthony easily surrendered.

"I had a lot of those. Alice gave me a bag o' them!" Anthony held up his hands to indicate how large the bag was.

Edward hoped that his son was exaggerating, but when he saw how amped Anthony was when he jumped up and bounded toward the stairs, Edward was sure that he had told him the truth.

"Now can I go in my car bed?" Anthony asked excitedly.

"Let's go," Edward mocked, trying to equal his son's enthusiasm but falling short. His mind was on what he might say to mark this moment as monumental in a five-year-old's mind.

Anthony raced up the stairs and was in his bedroom before Edward reached the top landing. He ooh-ed and ahh-ed over each minor detail as if he'd never seen it before. He fingered his car-shaped hooks and made a show of taking down his backpack, just so he could hang it up again.

He stared reverently at his bedding before pulling back the covers and bounding between them.

"Tired?" Edward asked as he scoped out a suitable spot on Anthony's bed to sit on.

Anthony shook his head. "Alice said I couldn't go in my room until you came home," Anthony explained.

"And did you listen?" Edward asked.

Anthony nodded as he pulled his comforter up so high that only his head was visible.

"Um…" Edward looked around at the walls as if they would give him the words to say. He remembered what Bella had told him at dinner and figured there was no time like the present to deal with everything he wanted and needed to say.

"So…what do you think of your new room?" Edward asked.

Anthony's eyes pierced Edward's resolve as the little boy stared at him eerily. "Are you going away?" he finally asked.

"Going away? Why would you think that?" Edward was taken aback.

Anthony shrugged his small shoulders. "Because every time I get a new room, someone else takes care of me."

Foster care. Suddenly Edward's senses were pummeled with the memories of exactly what his son was talking about. The plethora of different addresses, different home decors, and different smells: scorched cooking oil, ammonia, mothballs, bleach, peppermint… Each new home had come with its own set of rules, punishments and terrors.

Edward suddenly remembered everything so vividly, and he reasoned that most likely, Anthony could as well. A deep sadness constricted his chest, not because he could relate to Anthony's experiences, but that Anthony had had the experiences in the first place.

"I, uh…I know what that's like, Anthony," Edward confessed. "When I was a little older than you, I lived in a lot of places, too."

Anthony's eyes grew bigger with his surprised expression and he peeked further out from underneath the blankets.

"Did your mommy go to heaven, too?"

Edward just stared blankly into Anthony's inquisitive gaze. If he answered that his mother was not in heaven, Anthony would most likely ask why Edward had moved around so much. And unlike a child of the military or the heir of a businessman, Edward didn't have such an appropriate answer to the question of why he moved around so frequently. And there was no way he was going to tell his son the truth. Especially not now when he was looking at him as if they were allies.

"No, my mom isn't in heaven," Edward rushed over the words. "But I didn't live with my parents when I was a kid. I didn't have my mom or my dad, but that's not the same for you. You have … your dad. You have me. And wherever I am, from now on, that's your home. I'm never going to leave you, Anthony. Okay? Now that we've found each other…" Edward trailed off, wondering how much of what he was saying was actually being comprehended.

"Did you know me when I was a baby?" Anthony asked softly.

"Uh…no." Edward was disappointed to have to answer that question that way.

"Then how do you know you're my dad?"

Edward had never even considered the notion that, unlike himself, Anthony had received no concrete evidence that Edward was who he said he was. While Edward received DNA and blood test results, not to mention a life history that corroborated the story, Anthony had simply been moved to and fro and told where to go.

Realizing this, Edward knew an answer as simple as 'Because I am', would not be sufficient; nor would a clinical explanation of medical tests and techniques.

"Well, when I was five years old, I looked just like you," Edward began. "And we both have green eyes and a ton of cowlicks all over that makes our hair do crazy things."

Anthony found this amusing.

"And, you're named after me. Your first name is Anthony. My middle name is Anthony," Edward kept going.

In that moment, it was like Edward had given his son a trip to Disneyland, the zoo and the world's biggest toy store all at the same time. Anthony's face beamed with delight at the parallel between their names and Edward mentally kicked himself for not making it a priority to point it out before.

"And look," Edward pulled off his sock before revealing Anthony's foot from underneath the bedspread. "Same toes. Yours just have a little growing up to do."

Again Anthony giggled.

"But besides all that, there are special tests that doctors can do to tell if my insides match your insides. And they do. I'm your dad and you're my son," Edward affirmed.

"Yeah," Anthony simply said, as if he'd known it all along.

"So…you know…if you want…you can…call me dad," Edward stumbled over the words, trying to make them as casual as he could.

"And you can call me son," Anthony smiled, not missing a beat.

Edward couldn't help but laugh. He accepted Anthony's permission, innocent though it was, with a show of smoothing down his hair and a soft tap on the tip of his nose. "Okay, it's time for lights out," Edward said as he paused at the light switch on the wall nearest the door.

"Light on, please," Anthony eyed Edward's fingers suspiciously as they nearly flipped the switch.

"Would you rather have a night light?" Edward suggested, but Anthony was adamant that he wanted the room as bright as could be.

"No, just the light," he reiterated, pointing up to the fixture overhead.

"Okay," Edward hesitated in the doorway. "Goodnight, son."

"Goodnight, Dad," returned the quiet still voice of a contented little boy.

He had thought it would have the significance of just another title, such as Senior or Junior, or something equaling as distinguishing but inconsequential. But the emotional impact of hearing his son call him 'Dad' for the first time… It gave Edward purpose and direction and _life._

As Edward descended the stairs, back toward the living room, pieces of his heart were resurrected by the realization of who and what he was to Anthony. Images and scenarios ran through his mind: saving Anthony from a bully; _I am a protector. _Cheering on the winning goal from the sidelines. _I am an encourager. _Teaching Anthony how to fix a car. _I am an instructor._ Buying Anthony his first car. _I am a provider._ Telling Anthony about girls. _I am a mentor. _

Pride emanated from Edward as he embraced how much he wanted to be all that he could be for Anthony. But there was another emotion that was bursting forth, suffocating the humble gratification of being a dad.

Anger.

And the feeling of anger was quickly giving over to rage as Edward struggled to understand how someone, or more specifically, his mother and father, could toss away the privilege of parenthood without a second thought.

When his heartbeat began to accelerate and his throat ached from the stress of it all, Edward sought to focus his mind on something else. His first inclination was to call Bella and make sure she made it home alright. And maybe she'd be interested to know that he and Anthony had had the "father-son" talk.

But when Edward reached in his pocket to take out his cell phone, the little piece of paper that Bella had given him, with Esme Cullen's information scribbled across it, fell on top of the counter and demanded his attention.

The anger that had never really dissipated flared up once again. Edward stared at the little piece of paper, willing it to incinerate, but too enthralled with what its contents held to throw it away.

When he stopped analyzing the handwriting, begging his memory to tell him if this was, in fact, his mother's script, he focused on the address written there.

Edward had lived his first twelve years in the same house. He'd memorized his address and telephone number like a good kindergartener. He'd written his telephone number in the yearbooks of his classmates at the private school he was enrolled in up until sixth grade. He'd rattled it off on numerous occasions to friends so they could pay him a visit, and he clearly remembered giving his phone number to at least one girl in his sixth grade year, hoping that she would call.

So he definitely knew that what was written on that paper was not the address and telephone number of his youth.

Not that he hadn't expected his parents to move, but it was a little disheartening to find out that all those times he'd tried to run away, back to Forks and back to the house he remembered, had he been successful, there would have been no one of relevance there waiting for him.

Edward crumpled up the paper and threw it against the wall, where it made a small tapping sound before it landed quietly on the rug. He turned his back on it and headed toward his recliner and the television as if he and the inanimate object had just quarreled.

Edward absentmindedly channel surfed as his mind wandered to Bella and the night they had together. But instead of focus on how incredible it felt to kiss her or to feel the curves of her body against his, Edward remembered the fear in her face when she'd slid that piece of paper over to him and asked him about his mother.

Immediately, a feeling of guilt had flooded him; the same guilt that had emerged when Anthony had asked him, in a roundabout way, why he moved around a lot as a child.

Edward was so tired of all the guilt. He'd lived with it for nearly thirteen years – every second of every day – and he accepted that sentence as penance for what he'd done. But now that it was starting to flow into the lives of those he cared about, and taint their experiences, it wasn't so easily to abide with.

And though Edward knew Anthony's situation was much different than his own, he couldn't help feeling responsible, in some way, for the turn of events that had led his son's life down a similar path much too early in his young life. Edward knew he should ask Anthony about his experiences in foster care, but he knew he couldn't handle it if Anthony had been treated a fraction of the way that Edward had been.

"It's not my fucking fault," Edward hissed at the crumpled up paper seconds later when he was standing in front of it, not cognizant of making the effort to walk back over to where it lay.

Hastily, he snatched up the paper, opened it against the countertop and stared at it.

An hour later, he was in much the same position. Only, by then, he'd worked himself into a tirade, angry at the fact that Esme was trying to insert herself into his life. Furious that she was stalking Bella and trying to ruin what was quickly becoming one of the few amazing things that had happened to him in the last twelve years.

Before he could talk himself out of it, he picked up his phone and dialed the numbers as they were written.

The entire time he heard ringing, he was resolved to speak his mind. _Stay away from Bella! Stay away from me! Stay away from my son!_

But then the ringing stopped and a female voice answered.

"Hello?"

And just like that, Edward was twelve years old again, and everything within him wanted to cry out _Mama._ But he didn't say it. He didn't say anything. He just stood there, listening as Esme said hello two more times.

Edward's hand began to shake infinitesimally as the voice halted and there was simply silence on both ends.

He listened to her breathing. And then suddenly…

"Edward? Is that you?" she whispered. "Edward…_please_."

His breathing hitched and his heart rate doubled, but he didn't speak and he didn't hang up. He just simply stood there, staring at the little piece of paper and the numbers he'd just dialed.

It was quiet for a long time before Edward heard an intake of breath and then Esme began speaking.

"On Sunday afternoons, Mrs. Raeburn practices her flute in the park. Every Sunday at two o'clock I sit on a park bench and listen to her play. There's rarely anyone else there but me. I don't think Mrs. Raeburn even knows that I come to listen to her. But I do…_every_ Sunday…by the clearing and the small gazebo…Please…say something, Edward."

There were a few more turns of silence before he heard the definitive click on the other end of the phone. He hung up as well, and in a trance-like manner, walked back upstairs to his bedroom.

He fought the urge to mentally berate himself as a coward as he sat on the edge of the bed, clad only in boxer-briefs. For years he'd practiced what he would say to his parents, if ever given the chance. Yet when that chance had presented itself, he'd said nothing. He'd been rendered mute by an influx of emotions that battered him into inactivity.

Sleepless hours went by as Edward replayed the episode of the phone call over and over again in his mind. For the first couple hours, he remembered the sound of his mother's voice as she'd assumed that he was on the other end of the phone, listening. This gave him over to a bout of paranoia, convincing him that Esme had been watching him, and therefore knew that he'd been the one on the phone.

After he'd checked the doors and windows, the next few hours were spent dissecting what she'd said. He knew her purpose of telling him exactly where she would be on Sunday at two o'clock was so that he would go and meet her there.

"There's no fuckin' way," he told the empty room.

But an hour later, he was thinking he might go and finally tell her all the things he'd planned to tell her. Maybe she should share a little of the guilt that had been plaguing him for over a decade. He'd go and tell her to crawl back under the rock she'd been hiding under up until now. She needed to hear that he didn't need her and he didn't want her.

But then the many unanswered questions he had began to inundate and plague him.

And then the memories started. Flash after flash of what life had been like when he was just Anthony's age. His mother showing up at the door to his second-grade classroom with a tray full of cupcakes; his mother sewing a cape onto the back of his favorite shirt so that he could pretend to be a super hero; his mother blowing on his scraped knee after applying antiseptic so that it didn't burn as badly; his mother kissing him as she dropped him off at school, even though he'd struggled against it; his mother holding his hand as she stood outside of the market, talking to a friend; his mother, smoothing his hair down as she tucked him in at night…

Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes as he strived to reconcile the beast that had left him to the wolves with the soft, doting mother of his memories. There were so many questions, and in a moment of being honest with himself, he admitted that he definitely wanted answers.

He continued to waffle back and forth as he tossed and turned, and it wasn't until he succeeded on putting it out of his mind, that he was able to get a little peace. Instead of his warped past, Edward thought of the beautiful woman, most likely asleep, that lived not too far away. It was the calming images of Bella wrapped tightly within his arms that finally allowed him to sleep.

Not long ago, if Edward had felt as strongly about a woman as he felt about Bella, a date as successful as theirs had been would not have ended with him sleeping alone in his bed. Though he yearned to spend the night with her, and he was pretty sure she felt the same way, he knew there was a protocol that they had to follow; and not just for Anthony's sake. It was just the way things were done when you truly cared about someone; when you wanted to communicate that you wanted more than just a physical relationship.

However, Edward's body was only partially inclined to that way of thinking. In his heart, and the parts of his brain that were aligned with it, he knew he wanted a deep, meaningful relationship with Bella. But the parts of his body that fell below his belly button, and the parts of his brain aligned with _them_, wanted Bella in ways no true gentleman would ever articulate.

There was nothing gentlemanly about the vivid mental pictures of a naked Bella, her dark hair flowing over her shoulders as she hovered above him, her breasts pointed and peaked, teasing his lips for her pleasure. The red-hot heat emanating from the apex of her legs, misty and slick from her desire.

The effect his thoughts had on his body slowly pulled Edward from the short amount of sleep he'd gotten. As his hand traveled across his torso to the hard-on straining against his underwear, he let out a low groan of satisfaction at the friction it created.

Dream Bella looked at Edward's massive cock and positioned herself to slide down over it.

She giggled.

The corner of Edward's mouth turned up as he watched dream Bella smile down at him.

There was another giggle, but this time it was combined with skin-to-skin contact against his outer thigh.

_What the hell?_ Dream Bella's legs hadn't moved…

Edward's eyes shot open and he turned his head to come face to face with a pair of green eyes staring at him humorously.

"You make funny noises when you sleep," Anthony observed through a chuckle.

Edward quickly bunched up the covers over his prominent erection and sat up. "Anthony…what are you doing in here?"

"I don't like sleeping by myself," he simply said.

Edward sighed as he watched Anthony burrow down next to him. More than likely, Anthony had woken up in the middle of the night and had wandered into Edward's room, just to check, just to make sure that his new room hadn't meant a new caregiver after all.

"I'm still here, Anthony," Edward reassured him. "Just down the hall."

"I know," Anthony said, but he made no move to exit Edward's bed. The two of them fell back asleep, and this time, dream Bella didn't make an appearance.

When the sun relentlessly beat Edward in the face from its position outside the bedroom window, he couldn't hold off waking up any longer. After checking for any morning protrusions, Edward slipped out of bed and locked himself in the bathroom. His shower was a quick one, thankfully, because Anthony had woken up as well, and it quickly became apparent that his sugar high had not receded from a good night's rest.

"Anthony, stop jumping on the couch," Edward told him for the third time later that morning.

"Oops. I forgot," Anthony said apologetically as he covered his mouth with his hand, as if he'd spoken the wrong thing.

"Well try to remember," Edward said dryly. "I'm tired of repeating myself."

But Anthony couldn't remember. So whenever Edward got his head out of the clouds enough to pay attention, he had to remind Anthony, swiftly and soundly, that feet belonged on the floor, not on the sofa cushions.

By the time Anthony decided to give his father a reprieve and play with a small basket of building blocks that Alice had left for him, Edward had once again decided to avoid meeting Esme in the park.

He glanced over at the clock. There were only two hours between the present time and when Esme would be at the stated destination anyway. _That wasn't enough time to make it over there, was it?_

Edward ran his hand over his face in frustration. If only he had someone to talk to about this – someone who understood why he battled yet could look upon the situation objectively.

But that someone didn't exist. There were only three people who knew the exact circumstances that had brought Edward to this crossroads, and none of them could be of any assistance to him.

Edward longed to talk to Bella and to hear what she would have to say on the issue, but, of course, in order for her to weigh in on the situation, Edward would have to reveal the extent of why he was torn on the matter. And he wasn't ready to do that.

But he called Bella anyway, hoping that in a roundabout way, she'd be able to help him.

And of course, she was.

After an awkward invitation to Thanksgiving, Bella saw through Edward's monotone responses and asked him what was wrong. He knew he couldn't tell her explicitly. He wanted to…but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He had much too much to lose if he gave in to that coaxing tone of hers and began telling the story. _What if he couldn't stop? What if he told her everything? _He couldn't risk that.

So he hinted.

He alluded to an appointment that he hadn't really decided on, and Bella responded as he knew she would: she wanted to know who was keeping Anthony.

At her insistence, Edward agreed to let her watch him for the afternoon, but she never took the bait to pry into where he was actually going or what he'd be doing. In fact, it wasn't until after he'd dropped Anthony off, several hints later, that Bella revealed that she had recognized his poorly disguised prompts when she came right out and asked if he was going to tell her what he was up to.

The directness of her question caught him off guard and he opted to keep quiet for the time being. The patience and understanding that she held for him and his unknown issues almost caused him to breakdown. Instead of meeting Esme at the park, Edward almost walked back into Bella's apartment, sat down at her table and told her all of the sordid details of his past.

But, instead he promised her a full disclosure at some point in the future; when he was ready. Whenever that may be.

Bella didn't seem to mind how tight-lipped he was being about his whereabouts. Edward recognized her trust in him as an attribute that he could only hope for but never attain. Trust was something he'd rarely given or been given in his lifetime; it was just safer that way – a Cullen defense mechanism.

Edward continued to lightly ponder what Bella's trust in him meant, merely as a distraction to where he was headed and what he would do once he got there.

The white sedan, still bearing the evidence of coming into contact with Bella's truck, was parked in the pebbled gravel of the parking lot when Edward made his first pass by the Bogachiel State Park.

There would be three more passes before he actually surrendered and parked his car across the street, earning the advantage of seeing before being seen.

Despite the sun-filled sky, it was unusually cold for a November day in Forks. Edward secretly wished that it had rained and taken all decision-making out of his hands. After all, he was sure the flute-lady didn't practice in the rain.

But almost as soon as the thought formed in his mind, Edward knew that it would take more than the Olympic-Pacific rain to deter Esme Cullen from the bench she was perched upon in front of Mrs. Raeburn, the flute and the white gazebo.

Even under the drape of a heavy gray coat, Edward recognized her. Her caramel-apple hair rivaled the foliage as it peeked out from underneath a knit cap that fit snugly about the crown of her head.

She sat, statuesque, with her eyes riveted to the woman with the flute, who was doing her best not to acknowledge her spectator.

Time passed like wind through leaves as Edward stood, concealed behind a tree, watching and waiting. Every so often, Esme would look away from the flutist, out across the vast lawn, searching. The hope was evident in her face as she'd check her watch, allow her eyes another sweep and then focus again on the source of the music. She did this several times before Edward stepped to the left and partially revealed his hiding place.

Esme turned and looked at him instantly, unfazed – as if she'd known he'd been there the entire time.

"Hello, Edward," she said, standing up but not approaching him. When Edward made no move or speech in her direction, she continued. "I was afraid you wouldn't show."

Since the moment his feet had hit the pavement, across the street from the recreational area, Edward's mind and mouth had been out of sync. He swallowed the lump in his throat and looked around briefly before moving forward a few paces, careful to leave a great divide between himself and Esme.

"What do you want?" he finally asked her, the agitation evident in his voice.

"I-I didn't know you were back," Esme stuttered.

Edward let out a pshaw and grinned humorlessly. "This town is the size of my fist. What do you mean you didn't know I was back? I've been here for six years."

Esme stared at him in silence for a long while, growing him up from the twelve-year-old boy in her mind to the handsome man that was before her now.

"I think about you every day," she told him.

Instead of look at her, Edward focused on a tendril of hair that moved in the wind. "Whatever," he muttered as he crossed his arms over his chest. He began to question his logic for coming and he glanced back at his car, reassuring himself that it was there to rescue him whenever he felt the need to leave.

It's not easy to find someone who doesn't want to be found," Esme's voice broke through his reverie.

"You mean it's not easy to find someone when you're not looking," Edward spat back.

Esme nodded ruefully as she stared at the ground. "I know you probably think that, Edward, but it's not true. I admit that I did have to wait until you turned eighteen, but then I-"

"You _had_ to wait? You say that like someone forced you to make me a ward of the state; like it wasn't your decision."

"Edward, you and I both know that…"

"I don't know shit about what you know," Edward eyed her with disdain.

Esme took one step closer, only for Edward to take one step away from her. "I knew you'd be angry," she accepted. "I expected it. But I also know you have questions, Edward. And I've been waiting years to answer them."

Edward drove back toward Bella's house – his mind composed of a hazy fog. Perhaps he'd just made a huge mistake. He glanced over at the empty passenger seat, his eyes focusing on the well-worn slip of paper that held his mother's contact information.

He had to admit, Esme Cullen wasn't a stupid woman. She'd refused to answer all of his questions – insurance that he would return at a later date to receive more clarity, now that he knew he could.

But it wasn't just him that she wanted to see, and Edward wasn't sure he could give himself permission to do more than that.

A light rain began to dust his windshield, and though he didn't remember the twists and turns he'd made to get there, a few moments later, Edward arrived back at Bella's apartment. The loud and hypnotic bass that he heard emanating from her windows was briefly enough of a diversion to distract him from his wary thoughts. As he knocked on the door, he tried to remember the song he was hearing. It sounded familiar, but he couldn't place it.

He stood there for several seconds waiting for Bella to answer the door. When she didn't, he knocked again, and when that also went unanswered, Edward peered through the kitchen window.

What he saw there immediately brought a smile to his face.

In the reflection from a large mirror that Bella had hanging on her living room wall, Edward could see dark hair flying, hips swaying, fists pumping and feet kicking. Bella was putting forth a great effort as she massacred the beat of the song she was dancing to.

And a few feet below her, Anthony was punching and karate-chopping the air as he boogied down right alongside her.

Definitely two residents of a rhythm-less nation.

Edward watched them with voyeuristic fascination until the song ended. As soon as the music was subdued, he knocked again. This time, Bella heard him and he saw her motion to turn off the music before she opened the door and was standing before him looking flushed and absolutely perfect.

"Sorry, just working off some of Anthony's energy," she said, breathing heavily as she moved aside for Edward to enter her apartment.

Edward simply nodded and hid the fact that he'd seen the wild and flailing energy burn-off for himself.

"Was he a handful?" Edward asked as Anthony bounded over to him.

"He was fine. We had fun," Bella insisted.

Edward took in Anthony's reddened face and the wet patches of hair at his temples, darkened by perspiration. He could feel Bella's eyes on him and the silent question of his recent experience hung in the air.

"Hi, Dad!" Anthony greeted him.

"Hey, son," Edward glanced up to see the awed expression on Bella's face. "What do you say we make dinner for Miss Swan tonight?"

Anthony nodded emphatically. "We can have peanut butter and jelly, Dad!"

Bella smiled and placed one hand on the crook of Edward's arm, and the other on her heart as she looked between Edward and Anthony.

"He's been 'trying it out' all morning," Edward whispered to her in explanation of Anthony's overuse of his title.

Bella giggled, and when Edward looked over at her, he could see that her expression did not match the humored outburst. She was watching him curiously, but maintaining a façade for Anthony's sake.

"Well what do you say? Dinner tonight? It's the least you can do for exposing my child to crappy nineties music," Edward guessed at the time period, though he didn't know the title of the song he'd heard.

"Hey!" Bella swatted at him playfully. "It was whatever was on the radio, and I'll have you know that Anthony loved it. So don't try to taint him with your narrow minded view of what makes for good music."

They were stalling; both ignoring the unspoken questions and answers that hung in the air.

"Do you want me to bring anything?" Bella asked, diverting the conversation back to their evening plans.

"I was just going to pick up pizza…if that's okay with you," Edward stated.

Bella nodded. "I'll whip up a salad and come by at…six?"

"Sounds good," Edward said as he turned Anthony toward the living room. "Go get your shoes. We have a pizza to pick up," Edward said.

As soon as Anthony left the small entryway, Bella moved closer to Edward and softly placed her hand against his chest.

"Is everything okay?" she implored.

But instead of answer, Edward pulled her against him for a long, searing kiss. And by the time they broke apart, before Anthony appeared with his shoes hastily put on the wrong feet, the unanswered question had long been forgotten.

Edward kept up the avoidance tactics for most of the night. Whenever Bella would begin to ask him a question, he'd change the subject, offer her more pizza or a drink or tell her a funny story about something Anthony had done. By the time he pretended to smell a non-existent fire in the kitchen, Bella had given up and quit asking him about his day and whether or not he was okay.

She followed Edward and Anthony upstairs to say goodnight, and then retreated to the kitchen while the "boys" shared a father-son moment before bedtime.

"You don't have to clean up," Edward said as he snuck up behind Bella while she put leftover pizza away in the refrigerator.

"Oh, well…I was just…" Bella didn't finish her sentence. She simply stood in front of Edward and looked him in the eye as if she were daring him to say something to her.

Edward knew that her curiosity was killing her, but he wasn't ready to say anything. Not yet.

So again, he crossed the small kitchen until he had Bella backed up against the wall, and he began to shower her neck and mouth with kisses.

"Edward," she uttered breathlessly between kisses.

"Mmmm," Edward hummed against her throat.

"Edward…c'mon…stop," she spoke as she feathered taps against his shoulder.

"Why?" he asked before placing a soft nip right below her jaw.

"You know why," she told him.

"No I don't," he said sarcastically, "or I wouldn't have asked you why."

"Fine," Bella straightened up. "I want you to stop because you're only kissing me to avoid dealing with…whatever it is that you need to deal with."

"That's not true," Edward insisted.

"Isn't it?"

"Absolutely not."

"Then why won't you answer any of my questions? Why do you keep putting me off?"

For a moment it appeared as if Edward was actually going to answer, but then he looked away and walked out of the kitchen. When Bella found him minutes later, he was sitting on his couch staring at the floor.

"You said you wouldn't push me. You said you'd wait until I was ready to tell you," Edward said in a low tone.

Bella heaved a heavy sigh before plopping down on the sofa beside him. "You're right, I did. And you can call me a hypocrite or a liar, or whatever, but I'm just worried about you, Edward. I can see that something is bothering you and I want to be there for you, I do. I just…need you to let me."

"I am letting you," Edward blurted. "But maybe my way of letting you in is different than your way of letting me in."

"Touché, " Bella relented.

Silence suffocated the air between them and threatened to make the issue bigger and insurmountable.

Edward reached over and laced his fingers through Bella's.

"I'm sorry," he apologized.

"No, I'm sorry," Bella cut him off. "You're right. I said I would wait and I should wait. It's totally up to you when or if you choose to share what went on…"

"I think I made a mistake," Edward broke in. His grasp tightened against Bella's hand, but his eyes remained riveted to the carpet. "Esme asked me to come for a visit."

"And?" Bella asked slowly.

"I said I would."

"Okay…" Bella waited for him to continue. "Well, if today went well…I don't see any reason why you shouldn't go. I mean, do you? I don't know the whole story, Edward, but if you don't think it's dangerous…"

"It's not dangerous. She's not…it's not like that," Edward said.

"Well if you want to go, then I think you should. And don't worry about Anthony. I can keep him if-"

"She wants me to bring Anthony with me." Edward didn't even need to confirm his misstep. His mistake was that he'd already agreed to this condition.

"And you think that's safe?" Bella asked.

Of course Edward expected this reaction from Bella. Her last encounter with Esme, approached in the parking lot of the supermarket, had left a bad taste in her mouth. To say that she was distrusting was an understatement.

"She didn't know where I was. When you…when a parent gives up their rights to a child, records are sealed and there's no contact. So when I was…taken…she had to wait until I was eighteen to try and contact me again.

I lived out of the state for a lot of that time and when I moved back…well, since I use my full name, and I have two middle names, a lot of times my middle name gets entered as my last name and I don't register as a Cullen, so she couldn't simply do a search for me. Not that I have anything to search for. My phone is unlisted…my address isn't published…It wasn't until a social worker called her, looking for me, because of Anthony, that she found out I was back in town. And then she saw you…"

"Me?" Bella asked. "Where?"

"At the store. You had Anthony with you. Esme said she took one look at him and knew that he had to be mine. She…she thought maybe you were my wife, but when she followed you home, it became apparent that we weren't married, but that's when she saw me. I guess she wanted to make sure it was me, but by the time she was…we kind of discovered her at your apartment and…

"Yeah," Bella nodded. That was when things had gotten complicated.

"Bella, I'm not telling you all this so that you can feel sorry for me," Edward admitted. "I'm telling you this…because I want you to come with me."

He turned to look at her then, his beseeching eyes burning into hers. "Please, Bella. Please say you'll come with me."

"I will," Bella agreed after a moment. "I'll come with you."


	21. Chapter 21 It's the End of the World

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 21 – It's the End of the World As We Know It**

Bella should have known right away that Alice was up to something when she'd called. The ominous way that she'd asked, "Are you up for company?"

It was a very un-Alice way of asking for a visit. Normally, Alice would either just show up or call and let Bella know she was around the corner from her apartment. Unless, of course, she needed something. Then Alice would courteously call ahead of time to make sure Bella had what she wanted before simply dropping by.

But the question of whether or not Bella was up for company was one Alice had never previously uttered. Alice was predictably spontaneous. And a call to find out what Bella was up to before she dropped by was _not_ spontaneous. Nor was it predictable. Therefore, when Alice showed up an hour later, Bella had failed to predict that she'd be bringing Rosalie with her.

"We were gonna go shopping, but the weather was so dreary I just didn't want to bother. There's nothing like having rain-soaked bags in the backseat, ya know?" Alice prattled as she entered Bella's apartment like it wasn't odd that she was in the company of someone whom Bella wasn't on the best of terms with.

"Starting your Christmas shopping, eh?" Bella decided to play along. Without asking, she set glasses of iced tea on the small table in her living room. On a Thursday afternoon at nearly four-thirty, it was too early for cocktails and too late for coffee.

Alice shook her head. "I've already started. Just getting a few last minute things. We're doing this Adopt-a-Family program at work and I get to deliver all the stuff to the family, so I want to make sure they get everything on their list. I am so excited!"

Alice's chatter about Christmas got Bella to thinking about Anthony and what he might want. A smile threatened to appear, and she instantly hid it. The last thing she wanted to do was talk about shopping for airplanes and train sets with Rosalie, who would probably only roll her eyes and say that she wouldn't be caught dead buying anything for somebody else's kid.

"Edward was over at the house Monday. He said he's having Thanksgiving with you?" Alice asked.

Bella looked up to see Alice watching her eagerly. Gingerly, Bella stole a glance at Rosalie to see what her reaction was to Edward being mentioned. She was simply watching Bella as well, waiting for an answer.

"Yes," Bella said softly as she cleared her throat. "We're spending Thanksgiving here."

"That's so awesome," Alice nodded as she looked over at Rosalie.

Bella imagined herself rolling her eyes at how obvious the two were being. It was clear that Alice had given Rosalie some sort of pep talk about the fact that Bella and Edward were dating and that she'd better not say anything negative about it.

"I think we've turned this elephant every angle, but it's still in the middle of the room," Bella interjected suddenly, staring at Rosalie.

"W-what do you mean?" Alice spoke on behalf of Rosalie as she looked between her two friends. "What elephant?"

"Rosalie?" Bella asked, choosing to ignore Alice for the moment.

"What?" Rosalie stalled.

"Are we just pretending that nothing happened? Like you didn't hang up on me the last time we talked?"

Rosalie looked sternly at Bella across the room and Alice fretted as she tried to prevent any further altercation between the two.

But Rosalie spoke over Alice's calls for peace. "Actually, yeah. I was kind of hoping we could pretend that never happened." She grinned and held Bella's gaze until Bella did the same.

"Well…okay," Bella relented, not really seeing any reason to argue with Rosalie any longer. "But just so we're clear, Edward is a part of my life now, and I don't want to hear…"

"I know, I know," Rosalie held her hands up. "I'm not going to say anything against him. I mean, at first I did kind of think that you could do better…"

"Rosalie," Bella said in a warning tone.

"But," Rosalie quickly interjected, "it's clear that I'm no expert at judging character and I see now that I may have misjudged him…and you. Sorry."

It was more of an apology than Bella had ever expected to get from Rosalie, but she didn't hesitate to accept it, because for one, she deserved it, and two, it was apparent that Rosalie needed a friend. Aside from the fact that she looked absolutely horrible, Alice had previously warned Bella that Rosalie was going through a rough patch.

"Why aren't you at work?" Bella wanted to know. Rosalie worked harder than any two people she'd ever met. It was quite unlike her to take a lazy day on a Thursday afternoon.

"Well…" Rosalie began.

"She got fired," Alice spat out. "Whew!" she put her hand over her heart. "I didn't think I could hold that in much longer. Bella, isn't that horrible? Rosalie lost her job. That prick, Derek, got her canned."

Rosalie shook her head fiercely. "I didn't get fired. I quit."

"Well after that dimwit stole your sales and turned the company against you. What choice did you have?" Alice asked.

Bella and Rosalie traded glances. Alice meant well, really. She just didn't know when to…stop talking.

"I quit," Rosalie turned to Bella to clarify, "because when I turned Derek in for stealing my clients, I was basically told that if I was a good realtor, my clients wouldn't leave me."

"That isn't right," Bella objected.

"No, it's not," Rosalie agreed. "But I'm beginning to think it was the wake-up call I needed to get out of there. I've been thinking about going independent for a few years, and I think this was just the push I needed to do that."

"But what are you going to do until you get that going? What will you live on?" Bella asked in interest.

"I have a little savings. Knowing that it's all I have left in the world will motivate me to work as hard as possible and if things don't work out, the home hospice center is _always_ hiring."

"That's where Vicki works!" Alice gasped, as if the name were poison.

"No saying that name in my house," Bella spat. "Seriously, if I ever see that woman again, I'm kicking her ass."

Rosalie sat forward in her chair. "Why? I think it's pretty safe to say that that woman poses no threat to you," Rosalie said with a weak smile; her words offered as an olive branch. However, her statement was met with a glare of intensity from Bella. "What? What am I missing?" Rosalie asked.

"She practically abused Edward's little boy," Alice answered as if she were the one who had witnessed matters first hand. "Bella had to go over there and rescue him."

"She what?" Rosalie asked in disbelief. "Did she hit him or something?"

"She hit him, she yelled at him, she swore at him…okay we have to talk about something else before I get in my car and hunt that woman down," Bella said. Edward had yet to deal with Vicki and what she'd done to Anthony, and although avoidance was Edward's manifesto in dealing with tough situations, it wasn't Bella's. She needed closure.

"Well, you've already knocked her down to size. You got the one thing she wanted: Edward – and I'm not talking about the fully clothed version," Alice quipped. "Jasper told me that she was basically propositioning Edward, but he kept telling her no."

Bella shrugged, secretly happy to have the confirmation of what she'd suspected. "I figured," she said.

"So, you're safe…if you were wondering," Alice grinned. Bella shook her head in disbelief.

"You're not subtle," Bella said.

"What?" Alice feigned innocence. "I was just offering you peace of mind."

"You were just digging to find out if Edward and I are sleeping together."

"I was not," Alice said insistently. "But are you?"

Bella looked down at her hands before she answered. "No," she said quietly. In and of itself, not sleeping with Edward didn't seem like that big a deal. On the one hand, they hadn't been seeing one another that long and there hadn't been many opportunities to be alone in that way. But on the other hand, Bella felt such an intense emotional connection with Edward. It was as if she'd known him for years. But it was hard to know if he felt the same emotional draw that she did.

Well, it would be hard to know if one wasn't acquainted with Alice Brandon.

"I knew you guys would be good for each other," Alice beamed proudly. "From the minute I saw how flustered you made him at that party for Anthony, I just knew you two would hit it off."

"Really?" Bella was surprised. She hadn't liked Edward then – at all.

Alice nodded. "He was over at the house on Monday and I overheard him tell Jasper how you seem to get him. He's really afraid of messing things up."

"He shouldn't be. Things are going fine."

"That's good," Alice smiled. "He seems really happy."

"And so do you," Rosalie added quietly.

Bella looked her friend over with an empathetic lilt. "I am," she confirmed. It was difficult to talk about just how happy she was in her committed relationship, knowing the Rosalie was just coming out of not one, but two failed relationships. Instead of adding salt to the wound, Bella changed the subject to her first Thanksgiving turkey, asking her friends if they had any tips to ensure a turkey cooked to perfection.

The afternoon faded into evening, and Alice and Rosalie politely excused themselves when Edward called to check in. While their intent was to give Bella privacy to talk to Edward, the brevity of his call didn't warrant their exit. He'd just called to say that he was tired and planned on turning in early for the evening. It was the same call Bella had gotten the night before, and if she hadn't recognized that his distant and withdrawn behavior coincided with his request for her to accompany him to his mother's house, she might have been worried.

But Edward was avoiding. He let three more days pass before he made mention of Esme again, and Bella was immediately disappointed. She'd been secretly hoping that Edward would change his mind or at least alter their agreement to include meeting at a public place or meeting without Anthony. But speaking her true feelings on the matter would insinuate that she didn't trust Esme or thought her unstable. Of course she _did_ feel this way, but she knew better than to verbalize it. Edward could insult his mother all he wanted to, but it wasn't Bella's place to join in.

But, on the fourth day, when Edward did casually mention going over to Esme's house, Edward noticed Bella's grimacing squint and called her on it.

"I thought you said you'd come with me," he reminded her.

"I did, and I will," Bella assured him. "It's just that…well…should we really be exposing Anthony to this already? What if you decide you don't want anything more to do with your mother? Then that's one more person who's come into his life just to leave again."

When Edward remained silent, Bella thought he was considering her words. She gave him a few more, just to complete her case.

"I think it's great that you're talking to Esme, I do. But…I don't know…maybe you're a little close to the situation right now…too close to…maybe see all sides of the issue?"

Edward nodded. "I know that," he agreed. "And that's why I asked you to come. There are things that I need to put to rest. And Esme has some answers for me, but this visit isn't about that. I agreed to bring Anthony by, and she's agreed not to tell him who she really is. She's just…a friend. She just wants to see him. She's not going to do anything to him."

Bella acquiesced. "A short visit, then?"

"Yeah, we'll be in and out."

So on Saturday afternoon, Bella sat, forlorn but faithful, in the passenger seat of Edward's sedan, as he navigated toward the address that Esme had scribbled down on the now well-worn slip of paper.

The house was old and looked scarcely cared for. Cobwebs coated the porch light fixture and the wood around the windows and eaves was splintering and cracking. The pale olive-hued paint looked stained from age and dirt. A small effort could be seen, however, in a recently swept off front step and two freshly planted begonia plants on each side of the door.

Bella cautioned a glance at Edward out of the corner of her eye and saw that he, too, looked taken aback by the home's appearance.

"I see a spider," Anthony pointed at a single-strand web that dangled to the side of the door.

Edward reached down and picked Anthony up. He might have done it to keep the young boy from going after the eight-legged creature, but Bella was sure that Edward was likely as uncomfortable as she was, and holding on to Anthony made him feel a tiny bit better.

Bella stepped closer to them and rested her hand on Edward's lower back. "Ready?" she asked.

Despite the doorbell, there was a handwritten sign taped to the door that suggested that they _please knock_. It looked freshly written.

Edward took a deep breath, stepped forward and then rapped softly on the door. Esme answered the door so quickly that it was evident she'd been waiting just on the other side of it.

If she hadn't been expecting Bella to tag along, she gave no indication of her disappointment. Instead, she clasped her hands so tightly in front of her that Bella could see the blood rush back to her white knuckles whenever she moved her fingers.

"Welcome," she nodded tentatively at Edward, then Anthony and then Bella. She stepped back and opened the door wider, motioning for them to come inside.

Bella stepped into the foyer and looked round, while tuning her ear to hear if Esme locked them inside.

She didn't.

"I just bought a fresh bag of cookies from the store. Would you like one?" Esme asked Anthony directly. Edward and Bella traded looks.

_Store bought…better than baked._

"Two, please," Anthony requested.

"One is plenty," Edward said hoarsely.

Stiffly and awkwardly they all went into what Esme referred to as the parlor. It looked like a simple living room with old and faded furniture – the type of furniture that was probably expensive when it was new, but now looked like it was ripe for a church rummage sale.

"I remember this couch…" Edward mumbled under his breath as he took a seat next to Bella. Anthony tested out Edward's lap before he hopped up and took a seat on the other side of Bella.

"He _is_ you," Esme marveled as her eyes followed Anthony. "The resemblance is almost scary." Then she directly spoke to Bella, "I should show you his pictures when he was that age," she pointed to Edward, "You'd never be able to tell them apart."

"That's okay," Edward interrupted. "She'll take your word for it." He obviously was not interested in having Bella perusing through old photos of him.

The conversation was labored and difficult. There were long stretches of silence as Edward and Esme seemed to duck and dance around certain issues, most likely trying to remain on topics suitable to discuss in front of Bella and Anthony. It was so uncomfortable that when Anthony announced that he had to "go potty", Bella was out of her seat before he'd even finished his sentence.

"I'll take him," she said quickly. Nevermind the fact that it probably would have been more appropriate to let his father take him, or allow him to go on his own; Bella simply had to get out of that room!

After listening to Esme's directions for the location of the bathroom, Bella led Anthony down the hallway, to the left and into the first door on the right.

"I'll wait for you right here, " she pointed out in the hall as she turned the bathroom light on. Anthony nodded before closing the door. Bella's class was quickly teaching her that privacy was very important to five-year-olds.

Bella took in the décor on the walls as she waited for Anthony. There were no current family photos, only pictures from the early nineteenth century, and Bella couldn't tell if they were relatives or vintage reproductions. She guessed at the latter after she noticed the old spectacles, book belt, and pocket watched that were delicately placed on a shelf.

Slowly, Bella walked the length of the wall adjacent to the bathroom, looking at the somber faces of all the people in the pictures. She was enraptured by the history that surrounded her. Between each framed photograph was an antique artifact: a wooden-box camera, a shadowbox of silver coins, a pair of ladies gloves, a button hook…

Now it was Bella's turn to restrain her hands, careful not to reach out and touch what was probably really old and too expensive to replace if she broke anything.

Toward the end of the wall, there was an eleven-by-seventeen framed newspaper page. There was no date on it, but it was obviously very old. Bella's eyes scanned the ads for women's overskirts on sale for thirty-five cents…it referenced a tally-ho, which Bella knew was an old sightseeing carriage used in the late 1800s and early 1900s, thanks to a round of Trivial Pursuit in college.

Bella leaned in to get a closer look at the fine print, stepping off to the side so as to see better in the dim light.

Her body bumped up against something firm and resistant. Shocked, Bella quickly turned her head to find herself eye-level with another pair of eyes. A pair of eyes that looked unemotionally _through_ her.

Bella sucked in a gust of air as she rushed to assess what exactly she was staring at.

And then the eyes blinked.

Bella let out a caterwauling, blood-curdling scream and threw herself back against the wall in an effort to put some distance between herself and the person before her long enough to determine if she was in danger.

Anthony was coming out of the bathroom at that moment and, startled by Bella's wailing, wanted nothing more than to be as close to her as possible, safely wrapped in the nearest pair of arms. Unfortunately that was the exact opposite of what Bella wanted, for she didn't know what to make of the threat that was standing just in front of her.

Edward appeared a split second later and looked frenziedly between Bella and Anthony. "What happened? What's wrong?"

"I just – th-there…there's someone right there," Bella struggled as she tried to catch her breath and regulate her heartbeat.

"Is everything alright?" Esme called from where she stood, a few feet behind them in the middle of the hallway.

"Dad," Anthony pawed for Edward to pick him up. He didn't know what was wrong, but seeing his teacher scared didn't make him feel comfortable. He was scared, too.

And then the _someone_ stepped forward.

Bella turned to look at Edward, making sure that he saw that she wasn't crazy, and that there was, in fact, someone lurking in the corner. "Edward, who is that?" she whispered.

But when she turned to address him, she saw that all of the color had drained out of Edward's face and he stood, frozen in place, like someone watching an inevitable bullet race toward his heart.

The person in the shadows, a man, had stepped forward and was eyeing Anthony with a peculiar interest.

"Daddy?" Anthony asked, sharing in Bella's anxiety over the man before them, and therefore pleading to be picked up.

Suddenly, Bella jumped and started as a deep, spiraling maniacal laugh erupted from the man. He fixed his gaze eerily on Edward and pointed.

"Daddy?" He humorlessly laughed.

Esme's heels beat the floor as she ran down the hall and past Edward and Bella to the man with the wild look in his eyes.

"No, no!" Esme pushed him back toward an open door. "Carlisle, no!"

"You don't get to be daddy!" Carlisle yelled at Edward as if Esme wasn't present, pushing and pressing him back into the room he'd come out of. "You took daddy away from me! _You_ do not get to be daddy, you murderer!"

Bella immediately placed her hands over her mouth in horror of the things the older man began to shout at Edward.

And Edward just stood there as if the words here closed-fisted blows to his body. Each phrase, each rage-laced comment knocked him back just a bit, until he was flat against the wall with no where else to go.

"C'mon, Edward," Bella shook him slightly. "Let's go."

That was all the coaxing Edward needed to catapult him into motion and get him out of that house. He reached down and swooped up Anthony, held his hand out to Bella and then pulled her along after him as he made a dash for the front door.

"Edward!" Esme ran after them. "Edward, please! Wait!"

But Edward paid her no attention. There was a wild desperation to his eyes and he hurried off the porch and to the car. Bella didn't think twice as she grabbed for his keys and let herself into the driver's side of the car. If Edward minded, he gave no indication. He simply made sure Anthony was buckled in before getting in on the passenger side and locking the door.

"Get the hell outta here," he muttered.

As she peeled away from the house, Bella noticed the green tint to Edward's face. She turned the fan to cool and moved the dial to the highest setting. He nodded in gratitude as he leaned forward and rested his head against the dash.

"Who was that man?" Anthony wondered from the backseat. "He was scary."

When Edward offered no commentary, Bella tossed a slight smile Anthony's way through the rear view mirror. That man was more than scary. His shockingly blonde hair, his vacant eyes and his menacing laugh. That man was _terrifying. _

But he was Edward's family.

"Was that your father?" Bella whispered so that Anthony wouldn't hear.

But perhaps Edward also didn't hear, because he surely didn't answer.

In fact, Edward didn't mutter a word the entire way home, and Bella cringed when she thought of what the night would hold for him and his son in the frame of mind he was in.

"Dad, I'm hungry," Anthony piped up from the backseat. "Dad?"

Bella glanced over at Edward and tapped him lightly on his thigh. "Do you have plans for dinner? Anthony's ready to eat," she said.

Edward mumbles something undecipherable.

It was then that Bella realized how well Edward knew his limitations. _This_ was why he had wanted her to accompany him. The _just in case_ clause. Edward had known that if something triggered and upset him that he would need Bella to step in and oversee Anthony while he got his bearings.

Although Bella didn't understand why he would submit himself, and Anthony, to a situation that could have such emotionally rendering consequences, she_ did_ understand that Edward's need of her presence didn't end when they stepped off Esme's threshold.

Bella quickly drove through the first drive-thru window she found and ordered the most nutritious meal for Anthony that she could manage. Then, without input from Edward, she drove to her apartment and was surprised when Edward got out of the car and followed her inside with no argument.

Without words, Bella silently encouraged Edward to take all the time he needed to process what had just occurred, while she fed and entertained Anthony. After dinner, a movie, and two games of tic-tac-toe, Bella prompted Anthony for bed.

"In the blue bed?" he asked with curiosity. "I'm sleeping here?"

"Uh-huh," Bella said, trying to keep the interaction as brief and light as possible.

"What about my dad? Where's he sleeping?" Anthony wanted to know.

"Uhhh…" Bella's eyes quickly darted over to where Edward was sitting on the sofa with his chin resting in his hands – lost to the world. "Don't worry. Daddy's not going to leave you. He'll be here, too." Bella paused to listen for Edward's objection. He said nothing.

Anthony submitted to two bedtime stories before modestly hiding his underwear-clad bottom half beneath the blue blanket.

"Where is my dad sleeping?" Anthony said as Bella stood in the doorway wishing him sweet dreams.

"I don't think he's decided yet. Maybe on the couch…or maybe I'll sleep on the couch and let him sleep in my room. Why?" Bella wondered at Anthony's motivation for such a query.

"Sometimes I get scared and then I go in his bed," Anthony answered.

Bella rested her head against the doorjamb and looked upon the small little boy beneath the comforter.

"What scares you?" Her question was laced with concern for the memories and thoughts that possibly haunted Anthony when he closed his eyes.

"The dark," Anthony answered matter of fact.

"Well then I'll leave the light on," Bella winked at him before leaving the room. She was just about in the hallway before she heard Anthony's faint voice call out to her.

"Hug," he requested.

Bella turned to face him with her hands on her hips. "Now why hadn't I thought of that?" she pretended to scold herself. Quickly, she retreated over to Anthony's bedside and gave him an enveloping squeeze. After placing a soft kiss atop his head, she wished him sweet dreams and promised to come running if he needed her.

That was all it took to settle him in for the night.

But from the looks of it, his father wouldn't settle down so easily.

Bella reappeared in the living room to find that Edward had moved to the kitchen where he was staring out the little window.

"I told Anthony that you guys were going to stay here with me for the night. I hope that's okay. You just didn't seem like you were up to…" Bella trailed off when it seemed like Edward wasn't listening to her. "Edward?"

"Yeah, that's fine," he answered softly.

"You're welcome to take my bed. I'll set up out here on the-"

"I'm not gonna take your bed, Bella," Edward seemed irritated at the idea. "I'll be fine."

"I just thought that maybe –"

"I said I'll be fine!" Edward insisted.

Bella backed away in silent surrender. She deposited a blanket and spare pillow on the couch before locking herself in her bathroom with a fresh pair of pajamas.

The heat of the water penetrated Bella's skin and soothed her nerves as she hunched down under the stream. She wondered if Edward would still be at her apartment when she exited the shower, or if he was scuttling around at that very moment, making an escape.

Out of his presence, Bella allowed her mind to reveal to her what she'd heard in Esme's house. That man had called Edward a murderer. _A murderer?_ And worse yet, Edward had just taken it. He didn't negate the haunting words of the old man whose face bore the same nose and rigid jaw line as Edward.

Whatever the man had meant, his words had sent Edward into a tailspin. Bella had never seen anyone rendered so unresponsive by harsh words and Edward's reaction had her wondering at the validity of the old man's ramblings.

The water began to turn tepid, and Bella took that as her cue to end her shower. She took her time drying off and changing into her bedclothes, anxious of what awaited her once she stepped out of the bathroom. Would Edward be completely disagreeable and instigate a quarrel or would he remain the comatose man he'd become since they'd left Esme's home earlier that afternoon?

When Bella stepped into her bedroom and found Edward sitting on her bed, staring down at his shoes, she knew that he would be neither of those things.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. "I didn't mean to snap at you."

Bella stepped over to him and sat down next to him. She hesitated a moment before awkwardly placing one hand on his back. When he didn't shrug her off, she moved closer and began to rub his back softly. "It's okay, Edward," she whispered.

He let out a dubious pshaw. "I think it's about as far from okay as you can get."

In the time that they'd spent together, Bella learned that Edward often wound himself up like a spinning top. He'd work himself into such a frenzy that if anything got in his path once he began to agitate, much like a spinning toy, he was easily derailed him and sent down unpredictable paths.

So Bella remained silent, her hand moving in light, repetitive circles between his shoulder blades.

"I just…you know, Anthony likes it here," Edward mumbled. "I didn't want to make him leave, but first thing tomorrow morning, we'll be out of here."

Bella moved to reach for Edward's hand. He let her hold it for a moment before he bent over and grabbed fistfuls of hair in aggravation. In an effort to comfort him with her proximity, Bella leaned over and rested her chin atop his shoulder.

"You know you don't have to go, Edward," she assured him. "I don't want you to leave."

The atmosphere quietly roared. Angry rain pelted against windows and Edward Cullen seethed in forced solitude.

"You heard what he said." It was a statement, not a question.

"Who?" Bella kept her voice low.

"Him."

"Was that your father, Edward?"

Edward chortled humorlessly. "He quit being my father a long, long time ago." Then, when he turned and looked at Bella, she saw Anthony so clearly in his features. She saw the weight of turmoil, the loneliness of loss and fear; oh so much fear. "You heard him, didn't you?"

Bella wondered if answering truthfully was the right thing to do, but Edward was watching her so closely that she knew he'd be able to tell if she were lying.

She nodded.

"And you want to know if it's true," he said.

"I know it's not true," Bella insisted.

Edward balked and moved to distance himself from her. "But you don't know. How can _you_ know, when every other person who knew me didn't?"

Bella shrugged. "I just know."

"How?"

"Because of how broken you are by the mere accusation…if it were true…I don't think you could…stand up under it," Bella whispered the last few words.

Edward neither confirmed nor denied Bella's assessment. He just continued to stare at his hands, locked in his own mind.

"Remember that song about ironic things? Except none of the examples in the song were actually ironic?" Edward suddenly asked.

"Yeah, I think so," Bella said, even though she wasn't sure Edward actually expected her to answer.

"Well that's my life. Purely ironic," Edward stifled a harrumph. "When I was ten, I asked my mom for an Air soft gun. My friend's older brother had gotten one and he used to have these cool Air soft wars at his house. Anyway, I really wanted one, but my mom said no way; she thought I was too young.

"For months I tried to talk her into it, but she kept saying no. Finally, she said I could have one for my twelfth birthday. I know she thought I would forget, but there was no way I was giving up on that. And right before my twelfth birthday, my dad took me to Forks Outfitters and made me listen to this half-hour presentation on gun safety."

While Edward paused in his story, Bella sat waiting to find out what any of this had to do with the fact that his father, for all intents and purposes, was crazy.

"I could tell the guy was doing my dad a favor and therefore he took twice as long as necessary to explain how to clean and clear a jam. I remember being bored to tears," Edward smiled ruefully. "But it was so worth it because on the night before my twelfth birthday, my mom handed me an Air soft rifle," Edward stopped to smile at the memory. "They gave it to me early because I'd planned to spend my birthday having an Air soft war with my friend and his brother's friends. The first thing I did when I got the rifle was call Jimmy and tell him how heavy it was and how slow I'd be. We spent the whole next morning practicing, but I was still slow. Jimmy had a small pistol and I liked the way his gun worked better than mine, so we took turns trading off."

Edward stopped suddenly in his story. The hardship presented by continuing was evident in the way his eyes began to water and his breath strained through his lips. He opened and shut his mouth a couple times before he seemingly gave up and quit trying.

Bella continued to sit, content to share her space with Edward. She resumed her ministrations across his lower back.

"It's okay, Edward," she said soothingly.

"I was seven when she was born," Edward murmured. "Most of the time, I liked having her around. She was so little…like Anthony. She loved it when I gave her piggyback rides. She'd hang on for hours if you let her. And most of the time I didn't mind having her around. But sometimes I just wanted to be with my friends, you know?"

Bella feared her voice would disrupt the roll of Edward's now flowing speech, so she simply nodded to indicate her comprehension.

"When Jimmy came over before the Air soft war, I told her to get out of my room. 'Go see Mom', that's what I said. Jimmy had snuck one of his brother's Air soft guns out of the house for me to use instead of my slow, heavy rifle. I didn't want my parents to know that I wasn't using the gun that I'd begged for so we were up in my room with the door closed.

"I didn't even hear her come in. I was too busy trying to figure out how to make that Air soft gun work, since it was different from any one I'd ever used before." Edward sniffed before nervously pulling his hands though his already rowdy hair. "I remember holding the gun flat in my hands thinking it was much heavier than the one Jimmy had. I also couldn't get the trigger to work. I thought he was giving me a fake gun or some prank gun that didn't work so that I'd get out on the field and get creamed.

"Jimmy said I just didn't know how to work it and he reached over and hit something on the gun and pulled the trigger." Edward's voice grew rough with emotion. "It backfired in my hand," Edward touched an imaginary bruise. "And it was so _loud_…my ears were ringing…and then Jimmy started screaming. And I laughed. I fuckin' laughed because I thought he was screaming because he was scared. But then he pointed…and she…she was laying on the floor…there was blood _everywhere._"

Bella gasped in horror and covered her mouth as the recognition of what Edward was recalling settled upon her.

With a vacant expression on his face, Edward went on to tell how his parents rushed up to his room and found his wall spattered with blood, his sister laying lifeless with a gun-shot wound to the head, and Edward, in the middle of his room, with a .45 caliber weapon.

"My mom went ballistic. She started screaming for my sister to be okay, screaming for someone to call the ambulance, screaming for my dad to help. But my dad wouldn't move. He just stood there, staring at me with this horrified expression on his face. It wasn't until he asked me 'why' that I realized what I was holding and what he was thinking."

"Everything after that is kind of a blur," Edward went on. "Jimmy started throwing up and I think I went into shock… The next thing I remember was the cops showing up, Jimmy's parents saying I told him to steal the gun…and my parents…they wouldn't say anything to me. I kept asking what was happening and no one was saying anything.

"I spent the night at a detention center. I kept thinking that my parents would come for me. And then my mom came like…four days later. They locked us in this room to talk. That's when I realized that I was in trouble. Up until then, I thought that my parents had been staying with my sister in the hospital or something. Nobody told me anything until my mom came that day. She told me that my sister had died and that Jimmy's parents had hired an attorney and were suing my parents for negligence. She told me that Jimmy had said that I'd taken the gun from his house and that he was trying to get it back from me when it went off. She asked me…she asked me if I did it; if I shot my sister on purpose."

"But you told her, right? You told her you didn't do it," Bella rushed in.

"My mom wasn't there to get my side of the story, Bella. She was there to tell me that my sister was dead, that I was being held responsible, that I had to go to court to tell the truth and until that happened, I couldn't go back home."

Bella's eyes watered under the weight of the tragedy she'd just learned about. "What happened when you went to court? Why wasn't it obvious that you weren't guilty? Didn't they see the other boy's fingerprints on the trigger?"

"My fingerprints were on the trigger, too, Bella. I'd been trying to operate the gun before Jimmy took it off safety and shot…" Edward sighed. "But in the end, it was my word against his."

"So neither of you was convicted? Everyone had to know you were innocent." Bella stated.

Edward shrugged. "All I remember is that one day, the questions stopped. I don't know how much time had passed, but I was moved to this place, it was like jail for kids or something, but I wasn't kept with anyone else and people were nice to me, for the most part. Anyway, no one was asking me anything about what happened anymore, so I thought I was getting ready to go home. And then my mom came to see me one last time…"

Bella averted her eyes when she heard the anguish in Edward's voice and knew that he was near tears.

"Like a fuckin' idiot, I thought she was there to take me home," he shook his head. "But she wouldn't even come in the room. She just stood on the other side of the glass staring at me and crying. And then she left.

"The next time I saw her, I was sitting across from her and my dad in a courtroom, listening to some guy in a tan suit tell me that my parents deemed themselves as unfit to care for me and remanded me to the state."

"They gave you up willingly?" Bella was appalled. "Why would they do that?"

Edward stared silently at his lap for a long while. "That's the same question I asked myself for years," he said. "And I finally had to answer the question for myself: they thought I was guilty. They thought I'd murdered my sister and even if it couldn't be proven, I'd been convicted in their minds."

"Oh, Edward. I'm so sorry," Bella offered, though her words sounded weak and diminutive to her own ears.

"That's why I went, you know," Edward looked into Bella's eyes for the first time in hours. "She…Esme…that day in the park, she told me she knew I didn't do it. She told me that if I was willing to give her a chance to explain her side of the story, that I'd understand why she did what she did. She offered me freedom, Bella, from this lifetime of guilt, if I just let her see her grandson up close – just once…" Edward trailed off as he lay down on his back and covered his face with his hands. He made no sounds; no movements. He simply laid there, shutting out sight and sound, wrapped in self-inflicted shame as if his past didn't warrant the price of his pain.

Bella looked on helplessly as Edward lay broken and bare before her, intent on shutting her out. Tentatively, she reached over and placed her arm across his waist, in an attempt to hold him in comfort. He didn't' resist but he also didn't respond. It would have been easier to move a corpse.

"Edward," Bella breathed as she stretched out beside him and held herself tight against his body, "I continue to be amazed at your strength and your courage through all the obstacles life throws your way," she mellowed into his ear. "You know who you are, Edward. In your heart, you know the truth. Don't let anyone take that away from you. I know what your dad said hurt you, but you can see the truth while he's still blinded by the lies of the past. You've grown from that little boy he knew into a responsible, trustworthy, hard-working, strong man. He's missed all of that, Edward. He doesn't know you. But _you_ know you. You know the truth. You've always known."

Bella continued to whisper encouragement into Edward's ear as the words came to her. Over and over she continued her spoken litany with its theme of strength, worth, courage and innocence. Edward lay immobile through it all, so much so that Bella wondered if he was still awake. She quieted her voice after awhile and made a motion to get up. However, before she could do so, Edward rolled on his side to face her. He buried his face against her neck and wrapped his arms around her, holding on tight, like a drowning man to a lone life preserver.

Edward would be twenty-five years old on his next birthday, and judging from the shattered man that lay bound against her torso, breathing in her weighty words, Bella felt compelled to shower him with thirteen years worth of affirmations. so without missing a beat, she started up again, peppering his cheek with affectionate kisses, and his ear with tender words.

"You are a ray of shining light to all those who are fortunate enough to come into contact with you. You are _good_, Edward. I know it. Anthony knows it. Esme knows it," Bella paused a moment before adding, "Your sister…"

"Claire," Edward whispered.

"Claire knows it," Bella affirmed.


	22. Chapter 22 I'm On Fire

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 22 – I'm On Fire**

Edward could feel Bella stir in her sleep beside him. She was still lying on his arm, and without opening his eyes, he tightened his hold on her.

Perhaps after a restful night's sleep, after she'd had a chance to process everything he'd told her, Bella would decide that Edward wasn't someone she wanted in her life. Perhaps she would say that she needed time to think things through and that maybe they should take a little break from one another. Perhaps this would be the last time he held her in his arms, so perhaps he should hold her a little tighter, for the sake of memories.

His fingers contracted against a sliver of skin, exposed in the night by Bella's active sleeping.

Surprisingly, she tightened her hold on him as well.

Edward wasn't sure if Bella was awake or not, so with his free hand, he trailed his fingertips softly down her arm. She responded by tucking herself against him and burying her face in his neck.

And then she gently pursed her lips and tantalized the sensitive skin.

She was definitely awake.

Edward rolled over toward Bella and reveled in the feeling of security she gave him as she ran her hands up and down his back. He kissed the top of her head, and when he did so, she nipped at his neck.

Fueled by feelings of relief, acceptance, and desire, Edward reacted. He began to handle Bella's body in a way that informed her he had moved past the simple gestures and pleasantries that simply said 'good morning'. As his hands roamed and journeyed, they enunciated the words Bella had spoken to him only hours before: worth, respect and caring affection.

His hands traveled down her arms, to her waist and when they arrived at her thighs, he reached around and palmed her ass. In reply, she fisted his thin shirt in her hands and softly bayed against his collar. It was all the indication Edward needed to keep going.

They danced around the concept of kissing one another on the mouth, self-conscious of the state of their morning breath. But as the touches became more fervent, lips that lingered at jaw lines and earlobes soon were unable to resist melting into one another.

The contours of Bella's chest enticed Edward as she pressed her body against his. Frantic fingers hesitated at the soft flesh of Bella's stomach before making the trek upward toward her breasts. Edward followed the outline of her bra, pausing briefly to tease her nipple through the silky fabric. Bella moaned into Edward's mouth as he kissed her passionately and coaxed her onto her back.

Bella let out a startled sound as she moved to sit up suddenly. She reached behind her and moved a small obstruction from underneath her back:

Anthony's foot.

Both Bella and Edward turned to see that the sleeping little five-year old had joined them in bed at some time before dawn.

"What the-" Edward trailed off, irritated at his immediate deflation with the realization that his morning wasn't going to proceed as he'd hoped.

Seconds later, Bella was startled again, but this time it was by a loud pounding knock at her front door. With wide eyes, she looked at Edward and her silent expression wondered at who it could be.

The knocker was relentless.

"It's probably those people from the church around the block," Edward muttered. "Don't they know that people sleep in on the weekends?"

Before Bella could respond, the knocking grew louder.

"Bella? You up?" called a male voice.

Now, in addition to wide eyes of wonder, Bella went as pale as a ghost before Edward.

"Who _is_ that?" Edward asked.

Suddenly Bella kicked into high gear as she leapt out of bed and began pulling on clothes and smoothing down her hair.

Edward was paralyzed in shock as he watched Bella tear around him like a woman with a secret she wanted to protect.

"Bella, what's going on?" Edward asked, now considering the fact that he might have cause for concern. "Who's that man out there?"

Bella momentarily stopped her frenetic movements. "My father!" she hissed. "And even worse, I'm sure my mother is with him."

The nervousness didn't set in right away. Edward was just glad that it wasn't some jilted ex-lover who was returning to vie for Bella's affections.

But the reality of why Bella was so frazzled soon settled upon him. Edward was in Bella's bed. It was early. Perhaps she hadn't told her parents that she was seeing someone. Or maybe she had, but hadn't mentioned that it had advanced to the stage where sleepovers were common. And even though they technically hadn't done anything that would qualify as indiscreet (not counting the early morning frolic while Anthony lay, undetected, a few inches from them), fathers didn't tend to consider those things when their daughters were involved.

It wasn't long after that revelation that Edward was up and moving as well, trying to cover up any signs that he hadn't just shown up for breakfast.

"Surprise!" Edward heard a female voice exclaim once Bella had answered her front door. He sat uncomfortably in Bella's overstuffed chair like a mere friend who had stopped by for an early cup of coffee. Never mind the little boy down the hall, sleeping in his underwear in the middle of Bella's bed.

Bella's mother began speaking and didn't let up for a record amount of time.

"You're surprised, aren't you? Charlie, look at her face, she's stunned," her mother said.

"I just…I am surprised that you didn't call…or anything. What if I wasn't here?" Bella asked.

"I told her that, but she wouldn't listen," a male voice said in a slower drawl. Charlie. "She was convinced that you would appreciate the surprise."

"I gave you a hint, Bella. Don't you remember? I told you I had a surprise for you."

"You left a message that said you had _news,_" Bella clarified to her mother. "I thought someone I knew was having a baby or Daddy had finally agreed to take you on an Alaskan cruise."

"When _are_ you going to take me on that Alaskan cruise?" Edward heard Bella's mother ask her father.

Edward squirmed in his seat when he heard them coming closer to the living room. Bella caught his eye and shrugged apologetically before making introductions.

"Mom, Dad, this is Edward, my…friend," Bella said awkwardly as she gestured toward Edward. "Edward, this is my mom, Renee and my dad, Charlie."

The last set of parents Edward had met had been Jessica's and they had hated him on sight. But that most likely had something to do with the fact that they'd walked in on a heated argument he'd been having with their daughter and he was swearing like a sailor.

Shirking that bad memory, Edward stood up and held out his hand toward Bella's parents. He noticed as their eyes washed over his hand-combed hair and wrinkled clothing. They weren't fooled for a moment.

"Oh…well, hello there, Edward," Renee greeted with a fake smile and fake charm. "I've heard…well, nothing about you."

"Mom." Bella's tone was warning.

Edward simply smiled in return, knowing Renee didn't really expect him to respond to her comment.

Bella's father, Charlie, offered Edward a head nod and a tight-lipped smirk before taking a seat on the sofa.

Bella leaned against the wall and looked between the expectant faces of her guests. Edward could see that she was nervous and each time they made eye contact, he'd smile, trying to tell her that everything was alright.

But they knew it wasn't alright. Because at any moment, Anthony was going to toddle out of that back room and his presence would demand immediate explanation. Edward's status would immediately turn from strange-man-sleeping-with-my-daughter to strange-man-_with-a-kid-_sleeping-with-my-daughter.

"So, are you from around here, Edward?" Renee began her interrogation.

Edward nodded absentmindedly. "Yes."

"Charlie is from Forks, too, but I find it such a dreary place. I need sunshine. That's why we moved to Arizona," Renee explained.

"What did you say your name was?" Charlie finally joined the conversation.

"Edward," Edward answered.

"Edward…" Charlie prompted.

"Cullen. Edward Cullen," Edward completed.

Charlie looked thoughtful for a moment. "That name sounds familiar…"

Edward's eyes snapped to Bella's. Was it possible that her parents knew his parents? The Cullen's were longtime residents of Forks, and most everyone had known of the amiable Dr. Cullen and his wife, Esme. But the story of their plummet into obscurity was still a mystery and people had long ago stopped trying to solve it. There had been rumors, of course; but the Cullen's didn't utter any explanation, nor did Jimmy's family, who'd moved out of town even before their house sold.

"Coffee anyone?" Bella sprang from her place against the wall and hastened to change the subject.

Edward stood up like he was going to help, but then so did Bella's mother. It was an uncomfortable moment, which was instantly heightened by one simple word.

"Dad?"

He was heard before he was seen. Every head in the living room turned to visibly inspect the source of the tiny voice.

Anthony entered the living room and stopped in his tracks. His eyes took in the couple that he didn't recognize; the fear that resulted was evident on his face. He looked behind him and saw Bella, but that didn't seem to be enough.

"Daddy?" Edward was quickly learning that this was how Anthony addressed him only when he felt threatened.

"Right here, buddy," Edward called.

Anthony turned and raced into Edward's lap, tucking his bare feet between Edward's leg and the chair's armrest.

"They're gonna see my unders," Anthony whispered loudly in protest when Edward held him still in his scantly clad state.

"Well…" Renee looked between Edward and Bella. "And who's this little guy?"

"This is Anthony," Edward jostled the little boy in his lap. "My son."

"Oh." Renee tried to appear unfazed, but Edward saw her cast a dubious look in Bella's direction.

"I'd better get going. Anthony, lets get your stuff," Edward jumped up and left the room, where it seemed like there wasn't enough air for everyone present.

After dressing Anthony, Edward quickly gathered up his and Anthony's belongings and made a break for the door. Bella followed after him and shut the door behind her.

"Sorry about that," Bella shook her head mournfully. "I can't believe she invited herself to Thanksgiving like that…wait, what am I saying. It's my mother. Of course I can believe she did that."

Edward laughed. "In light of recent events, we probably shouldn't come on Thursday," Edward motioned to himself and Anthony.

"No!" Bella protested. "You have to come for Thanksgiving. You don't want to come?"

"Well your parents…I don't think they like me too much," Edward stated.

"They don't even know you. And besides, I invited _you_, not them, so as far as I'm concerned, they're the ones who should feel like third wheels, not you." Bella insisted.

"I don't know, Bella…"

"Please, Edward. Please come to dinner. It's really important to me," she said in a low tone.

The way she was looking at him, those full doe-brown eyes. He'd give her just about anything she wanted when she looked at him like that, and Edward was sure she knew it.

"Okay," he agreed.

Bella smiled brightly before reaching up to give him a kiss. "I'll call you tonight."

Though Edward understood that families usually wanted to be together at the holidays, he couldn't help feeling that Bella's parents had horrible timing. Aside from the fact that they'd interrupted a moment of intimacy, he and Bella also hadn't had an opportunity to really discuss Edward's recently revealed past. Before he got too comfortable in moving forward, he wanted to make sure Bella was still okay with things. It really wasn't a conversation that Edward wanted to have on the telephone, but when he and Bella spoke that evening, an innocent joke uncovered his true thoughts.

"So…enjoying your parents?" Edward chided.

"Actually…yes. After the shock of seeing them at my front door wore off, I realized that it has been awhile since I've had a conversation with them. It's nice," Bella said.

"What'd they ask you about me?" Edward questioned point blank.

Bella let out a soft chuckle before she answered. She was speaking in quiet murmurs; Edward deduced that it was because she didn't want to be overheard.

"Well of course the first thing my mother wanted to know was if you'd stayed the night."

"What'd you tell her?"

"I told her that you did."

"And?"

"And I left it up to her to fill in the blanks. I'm a grown woman and I pay my own bills. What I do in my own home is my business."

Edward laughed at her boldness. "Well it's probably a good thing that you didn't tell the truth, because after introducing me as your _friend_, a nonsexual sleepover would have made her think we were picking out wallpaper together and coordinating curtains."

"Oh knock it off. I introduced you as my friend to protect you. Trust me, if my mother heard the word boyfriend, you'd still be here, chained to a kitchen chair while she ran your vitals," Bella laughed. " And what do you mean I didn't tell her the truth? I didn't tell her _anything._ That's not lying."

"Oh, I know. It's just that you make it sound like something happened, and it didn't."

"Speak for yourself. My boyfriend groped me."

"Yeah, and he would have done a lot more than that if he'd had the wherewithal to lock the door."

"Well…you were a little preoccupied," Bella said softly. "And Anthony said he sleeps with you when he's scared. It would have freaked him out if he woke up and couldn't find you."

Edward was silent for a moment. "Yeah, there was already enough freaking out going on for one night."

When Bella remained soundless, Edward rushed to fill the void with humor. "But at least you got a free preview before you-"

"Edward, stop." Bella's words were firm but earnest.

"What?"

"You know what."

Actually Edward wasn't positive that he did know but he didn't want to let Bella in on what he was speculating about just in case they weren't on the same page. However, it was definitely a lesson he should have learned by now. Bella always seemed to know what he meant.

"I'm not going anywhere, Edward. I told you that, and I meant it." Bella paused for a beat. "Unless you want me to."

"No." Edward's voice cracked at the realization that all his worry had been in vain. Bella had accepted every part of him: his past, his present and in his greatest hope, his future. "I definitely don't want you to go anywhere."

In the days leading up to Thanksgiving, Edward saw very little of Bella, yet the few nuggets of time they managed to spend together were used to reiterate how they felt about one another.

But Bella's parents, specifically her _mother_, was very stingy with her daughter's time, continually stating that she would only get to see Bella for a few more days before she had to return to the land of sunshine and unanswered phone calls.

After meeting Renee Swan, it was easy to see where Bella had gotten her patience and long-suffering demeanor: from her father. Because how anyone could put up with that woman for long stretches of time eluded Edward's imagination.

And right from the start, it appeared that his feelings of distaste were mutual. But though Renee did not seem to care much for Edward, her attitude toward Anthony was a different story. Most likely, Bella had disclosed Anthony's background to her parents because whenever he walked into the room, Renee all but fell apart. Even the stoic, unemotional Charlie responded to Anthony in a way that was unlike anything else Edward had yet seen.

The day before Thanksgiving, Edward arrived to retrieve Anthony from Bella's apartment, only to find Anthony sitting so close to Charlie that he was practically in his lap. They were watching a show about fishing on the Outdoor Network.

Edward was just about to rescue Anthony from what he was sure was certain boredom when Anthony pointed at the television and said quite confidently, "Spinner bait! I had one of those!"

Both Edward and Charlie seemed shocked, Edward because Anthony was actually interested in what he was seeing and Charlie, because apparently Anthony was correct in categorizing the bait.

"You fish, boy?" Charlie asked as he angled himself to get a better look at Anthony.

Anthony nodded. "I went with Grandpa all the time before he got his wheelie chair."

"Is that right?" Charlie asked, trying to make light of the fact that some sort of accident had ended a man's fishing career.

"Uh-huh."

"Well…maybe I'll have to take you fishin' before I go back home," Charlie offered.

"Okay!" Anthony bounced excitedly in his seat.

Edward looked over to find that Bella was watching him expectantly.

"Everything okay today?" Edward asked.

Bella looked as if she was going to provide an answer that indicated that everything hadn't been okay, but then thought better of it. She nodded as if she were trying to convince herself more than anyone else, before leaning over and planting a kiss on Edward's cheek.

"Anthony seems to be quite entertained," Edward pointed.

Bella looked over her shoulder to where the fishing aficionados sat staring at a man pulling a disgruntled bass from murky waters.

"Apart from school this morning, I've hardly gotten to see him. He went shopping with my mom and I this afternoon and he's been with my dad ever since," Bella smiled. Then she added for clarity's sake, "It was a half-day at school today."

Edward vaguely remembered Bella mentioning something to that effect earlier in the week but work, bills and life in general had rendered it to the far recesses of his memory.

"You look tired," Edward stated as he noted the weary expression on Bella's face. She motioned to the front door and Edward immediately took the hint, opening it and leading the way outside.

"Save me," Bella collapsed into his chest the minute they were alone. "My parents are driving me _crazy_," she hissed. "I love 'em to death, but seriously…I need a break."

"When are they leaving?" Edward had been wondering the answer to this question for days but thought it would be rude of him to ask.

"Not until Monday. And that seems like a lifetime from now."

"Do you want to come home with me?" Edward asked as he held Bella and lavished her back with a rub.

"Yes," Bella answered immediately, her voice muffled by his shirt. "But I can't. My mom has some psycho cooking schedule that I have to adhere to."

"Aw c'mon. You can get away, just for a little while," Edward coaxed. "I distinctly remember you saying you were a grown woman…"

Bella looked up at Edward, a pout on her face. "No fair, using my own words against me."

"Hey, I'll do whatever it takes," Edward grinned as he looked into Bella's eyes.

He had been riddled with desire ever since they'd started their tongue-tango four days prior, and his body was screaming for release. Not to mention the fact that Bella was wearing jeans…and it was getting harder and harder to control himself around a Bella in blue jeans.

"Would you feel comfortable letting my parents look after Anthony for a little while?" Bella asked. "Just for like, a couple hours or something, in case we wanted to…watch a movie or something?"

"Tonight?" Edward asked eagerly. The sooner the better.

"I can't tonight, Edward," Bella sighed, but she didn't sound confident in her answer, so Edward worked on her resolve.

"Why…not? Just…a couple…hours?" he dotted each word with a kiss. As his lips slid up and down Bella's neck, he felt her giving in. "I _really_ want to see you tonight," he whispered against her skin.

"Okay," Bella whispered back. He hadn't even had to beg, further proof that she wanted him as much as he wanted her.

Edward was passion-drunk for the rest of the evening as he waited for Bella to call him and let him know when her parents would be ready for more bonding time with Anthony. While he waited, he made sure to clean up a bit in his room. Though Bella hadn't stated as much, he was pretty sure that as soon as he dropped off Anthony, he and Bella would hightail it back to his place for a little bonding time for their own. For that reason he washed a set of sheets that he hardly ever used, picked up the clothing strewn around his bedroom and bathroom and opened a window to let fresh air flow through.

Downstairs he continued his cleaning binge by throwing every dirty dish haphazardly into the dishwasher and taking the garbage out.

As he worked, Edward continued to steal glances at the clock and as the evening passed to night, he willed himself not to worry. By the time the phone rang at nearly nine o'clock, he was nearly climbing the walls with anticipation.

Unfortunately, it was only Jasper.

"Don't sound so happy to hear from me," Jasper stated with fake resentment when Edward greeted him less than enthusiastically.

"Sorry. I've just been waiting for Bella to call and I thought you were her…" Edward abruptly ended his explanation when he realized how pathetic he sounded. Nevertheless, Jasper called him on it.

"Waiting by the phone, huh?" Jasper laughed. "She must be good."

"I was hoping to find out," Edward revealed.

There was a moment while Jasper processed what Edward had said. "You mean two still haven't…I thought you said you stayed over at her house."

"I did. Nothing happened. I had Anthony with me. I always have Anthony with me." Edward made sure to watch his tone, because at that moment, Anthony was sitting at the dinette table eating a bunch of grapes that Bella had sent home with him.

"Aw, man," Jasper said, as if he were apologizing for something.

"Jasper." Suddenly the conversation was interrupted by Alice's impetuous voice. "You've been on this phone for almost ten minutes and you still haven't asked Edward about tomorrow. I told you I have other phone calls to make."

"How do you know how long I've been on the phone?" Jasper asked as if it were perfectly normal to carry on this conversation with Edward on the line between them. "Are you listening in?"

"Why would I want to listen in on your and Edward's boring phone conversation?" Alice asked. "Though, Edward, if you'd have taken my help when I offered it, you wouldn't be suffering from a wicked case of blue balls."

"Whatever, Alice," Edward rolled his eyes. He hoped that Jasper would man up call his woman out on her inappropriateness. But Jasper did no such thing. For whatever reason, he considered Edward to be as much Alice's friend as his own. Therefore, he gave her the floor when she had something to say.

"Don't 'whatever' me. I'm serious. Bella is probably wondering what the hold-up is," Alice admonished.

"She knows what the hold-up is. Babysitters aren't exactly beating down my door," Edward reminded her.

"Yeah, well that's your fault for not asking. And on that note, Jasper was supposed to invite you and Bella out tomorrow with us for dinner. We're just going to Emmett's friend's restaurant. She's giving us a discount."

"She?" Edward asked. Emmett hadn't mentioned any new companions recently, but he also hadn't mentioned Rosalie.

"Yeah. It's just a friend. Anyway, she's managing Friday night and promised us an open menu. It's nothing formal and you can bring Anthony. And if all your dominos line up, Jasper and I can take Anthony back to your place and you and Bella can go over to her apartment and make a night of it," Alice offered.

"If all my dominos line up?" Edward asked, somehow knowing that Alice wasn't simply referencing things going as planned.

"Yeah, you know…like if Bella's willing and able. Have you guys talked about it?"

"Sort of. But she's already coming by tonight."

"Oh, good. So that probably means she's not on her period or anything," Alice stated nonchalantly.

Edward grimaced at Alice's words. "Alice, that's disgusting." Jasper also weighed in to tell Alice that he didn't want to hear about periods.

"It's not disgusting, it's life and if you plan on getting in Bella's pants, you had better find out about these things or any amount of planning you do is a waste of time."

Edward was more than elated when his phone signaled that another call was trying to come through.

"I gotta go. I've got another call," Edward said.

"Okay. Well-tell-Bella-about-Friday-night-" Alice sped to finish her sentence before Edward disconnected the call. That was as far as she got.

As soon as Edward heard Bella's voice, a sense of foreboding sunk him.

"I kind of thought you'd be here by now," Edward told her.

"I thought I'd be there by now, too, but my mom had to run out to the store for a special kind of bread she likes to have on Thanksgiving and she refused to drive herself and my dad refused to take her…so I've already been grocery shopping twice in one day…" Bella stifled a yawn.

"You're tired," Edward announced, disappointed.

"I am…but I want to see you. I miss you," Bella told him.

Edward could tell by the way Bella was speaking that although she did want to see him, she also wanted him to let her off the hook. Because there was no logical reason why she should drive over to his house, exhausted from the day, spend a couple hours, at the most, in his bed, and then drive home even more exhausted, risking bodily harm.

It wasn't quite what Edward had imagined for their first time together. So without further discussion, he didn't bother to press the issue, and instead gave Bella another alternative.

"Alice called and invited us out to dinner on Friday. After dinner she and Jasper offered to take Anthony for the evening so we could hang out," Edward suggested.

"That sounds great," Bella said sincerely.

"Okay, so…I'll just see you tomorrow for Thanksgiving and then we'll go out on Friday?"

"Edward, I'm really sorry. I really wanted to come by tonight but my parents are complete fuddy-duddies. I mean it. They're already in bed!"

"It's okay. It's been a long day," Edward looked over and saw that Anthony had fallen asleep at the table, his head lolling back and forth against his chair. It wouldn't have been fair to foist him off on people he hardly knew anyway, no matter how into him Bella's parents seemed.

Just another instance of taking one for the team – the father-son team.

On Thursday, Edward was surprised to find that Bella wanted him at her apartment no later than one o'clock that afternoon. He hadn't had a formal Thanksgiving meal in so long that he'd forgotten that people tended to eat dinner extremely early for the holiday. When he showed up at Bella's apartment, barely on time, he was both surprised and delighted to see the large spread of food that covered the kitchen counters and the dining table.

"I think I got a little carried away," Renee said as she eyed the turkey and the small ham beside it.

"I've been telling you that for two days," Charlie bellowed from the living room. There was a football game going on. Most likely the same one Edward had heard in the background at Jasper's house when he'd called to ask a question about holiday pay.

"Anthony!" Renee squealed as she leaned over to give him an enveloping hug. "I hope you're hungry. I made my famous sweet potato pie for dessert."

Renee pointed to the dish she referenced and Anthony didn't bother to hide the disdain he had for the bright orange specimen.

"What does it taste like?" he asked, leaning in to see if he could smell it.

"It's good, Anthony," Bella said as she walked up behind him. "I didn't think I would like it either, but I tried a little piece, and now it's one of my most favorite things to eat."

Anthony looked between Bella and her mother before deciding. "I'll try a little piece."

Renee moved to cut him a sliver from the pie pan but Bella stopped her mother's actions. "He hasn't had dinner yet."

Renee turned and looked at Edward. "It's just a little piece. He wants to know if he'll like it. Can't he have a little taste?"

Edward didn't know how to respond. Normally, Edward wouldn't care if Anthony ate dessert first, but Bella seemed to think it was a bad thing, and the last thing he wanted to do was get in the middle of a debate between Bella and her mother.

"Uh…" Edward shot Bella a deer in the headlights look, not knowing how to answer. She stared back at him, serious only for a second before her eyes softened and her face relaxed into a grin. "Yeah…I guess it's okay," he shrugged.

When Bella went into her hallway to get another kitchen towel out of the linen closet, Edward followed after her and let his confusion be known.

"I didn't know what to say. You told her not to give it to him, but then she asked me and…"

"And you did the right thing," Bella sighed. "It's Thanksgiving. No one eats the way they're supposed to during the holidays. And besides, she never would have stopped asking until you gave in and let her have her way. Which is one of the reasons I have to be up before daylight tomorrow, chauffeuring her to all of the two stores in town that are having Black Friday sales."

"So I guess that means I won't be seeing you tomorrow either," Edward guessed, his words dripping with disenchantment.

"Are you kidding?" Bella balked. "Wild horses couldn't keep me away."

Maybe not wild horses, but everything else seemed to be getting in the way of their time together, so unlike the night before, Edward refused to get his hopes up until he saw Bella standing at his doorstep on Friday evening.

Lucky for Edward, Bella arrived Friday afternoon, weary from a morning with her mother, but energized for an evening with Edward.

The trio enjoyed a low-key afternoon filled with leftover turkey, games of tic-tac-toe and Anthony's detailed list to Santa, where, much to his father's delight, the only out of reach item he asked for was a trip to Disneyland.

"Tony Bana brought his Mickey ears for sharing last week," Bella said of a student in her class. "Now my entire class wants to go to Disneyland."

"I've never been," Edward stated casually. He'd remembered wanting to go when he was younger, but the timing had never been right…and then it had become a non-issue altogether.

It wasn't his intention to rustle up sympathy at his statement, but Bella couldn't seem to help looking at him through sorrow-filled eyes at his admission.

"We'd better take off. The last thing I need is Alice breathing down my neck because I made everyone late," Edward said to deflect the moment. The last emotion he wanted to evoke in Bella was pity. Especially tonight. Tonight he wanted her to see him as virile, wanting and able – not a little boy chasing after a childhood fantasyland.

Bella, Anthony and Edward arrived at Alice and Jasper's house early enough to sit for a spell and exchange small talk before it was time to leave for the restaurant. Edward deposited Anthony's overnight back near the front door, and made a point of not making a big deal of the fact that Anthony was going to stay the night away from home.

"You think he'll go for it?" Jasper pointed to Anthony and whispered so that only Edward would hear.

"He'd better," Edward returned. He loved his son and all, but now it was Anthony's turn to take one for the father-son team. Edward feared that if he didn't spend some quality, alone time with Bella soon, permanent damage was going to be done to his nether regions.

When the two men returned to the living room, Anthony was sitting on the floor playing with a puzzle while Bella and Alice talked about Christmas.

"We barely just got done with Thanksgiving. Isn't there a moratorium on Christmas for at least twenty-four hours?" Jasper asked.

"I wish," Bella sighed. "Then I wouldn't have had to spend my waking hours at Black Friday sales. I swear, my mom insisted on leaving the house at five o'clock, even though there was only _one_ store in all of Forks that was having early bird specials, and they didn't even open until six."

"Oh! That reminds me," Alice exclaimed excitedly, "that toy store on Main Street is having a black Friday sale. We should go after dinner." Alice turned her attention to Anthony. "We can pick out some games for you and I to play tonight before bed time."

Anthony looked puzzled for a moment, like her verbiage had confused him. Edward held his breath while he waited for Anthony to contest spending the night. Throughout the day, he'd dropped little hints and mentioned it in casual conversation. Each time Anthony had asked where Edward would be sleeping, Edward deferred the answer and restated how much fun Anthony was going to have with Jasper and Alice.

Edward slid onto the couch next to Bella and she turned her body to hide the fact that he had his hand resting on her waist. Usually they didn't make a big deal of their relationship in front of Anthony, but tonight Edward could barely keep his hands to himself. And neither could Bella. Her hand snaked around her own torso to meet up with Edward's, where she teased the tips of his fingers in a slow and repetitious manner.

"We have to get going," Alice said. "Anthony, come on. Let's put your stuff away in the spare bedroom," she said as she held out her hand to him.

As soon as Anthony and Alice disappeared around the corner, Bella leaned back and submitted to the searing kiss Edward had been waiting all afternoon to give her.

Emmett cleared his throat as if he needed to remind the couple that he and Jasper were in still in the room. Edward didn't bother ending the kiss, but he did offer his friend a one-finger salute to let him know that he'd heard him.

When Alice and Anthony returned, everyone funneled out of the front door, toward respective vehicles, and on to the restaurant.

Even though Emmett was insisted that Beth, the friendly manager that was comping their meals for the evening, was just that, a friend, Edward could see Bella and Alice eyeing her dubiously, sizing her up in relation to Rosalie.

And when Beth leaned over and whispered something into Emmett's ear before letting out a hearty chuckle, Edward watched humorously as Alice and Bella traded glances.

"I feel kind of weird watching Emmett flirt with another woman. Like I'm betraying Rosalie or something," Bella whispered to Edward when no one else was paying attention.

"Well at least Emmett isn't doing it in front of Rosalie, like she did to him. Besides, he free to do whatever he wants. He's single," Edward defended.

"I know," Bella nodded. "It just feels weird…that's all."

Edward sensed a shift in Bella's demeanor and he quickly moved to smooth over any differences. Arguing about the state of his present or non-present love life was ridiculous. Not only was it a subject that he wasn't all that interested in, it also wasn't something he was willing to ruin what he hoped to be a very good night over.

"Yeah, I guess it does feel a little weird," Edward whispered. "I'm just going to try to ignore it."

Bella looked over at Edward and smiled. "Yeah. Me, too."

Under the table, Edward reached for Bella's hand and dragged it onto his thigh, where he held it firmly in his. Bella loving worked her thumb against Edward's thigh as her eyes perused the menu. Edward let out a shaky sigh as he wondered if Bella knew what that one small action was doing to his libido.

He looked over and saw the slight smile that lifted the corner of her mouth.

She knew exactly what she was doing.

"So, are you going to have dessert?" Alice leaned over and asked Bella once the entrees had been eaten and cleared away.

"Um…I don't know…" Bella stalled.

Edward wanted the dinner to hurry up and end so that he and Bella would be that much closer to their night together but he didn't want to deprive her of anything she might want. So he sat silently while she contemplated her answer.

"They have a great chocolate molten cake," Alice suggested.

"I'm not really in the mood for anything sugary," Bella finalized.

Alice giggled. "I guess that means it isn't your time of the month."

Edward was immediately uncomfortable with the ease at which Alice broached such a topic, and in front of everyone, too! But that didn't mean he wasn't listening for the answer as he pretended to resituate food on Anthony's plate.

"Uh…no," he heard Bella respond. "But I don't usually crave sweets then either. I mostly want salty things."

"Not me," Alice said as if she were holding the conversation with the entire table. "I can set my calendar by my cravings. I'm never surprised by the monthly visitor."

Bella removed her hand from Edward's and ran it through her hair and across the back of her neck, something she often did when she was embarrassed or uncomfortable.

"Well I guess that's one way to be sure," Bella said, her voice much lower than Alice's. "But the pill makes things pretty consistent, too." Bella whispered this last sentence, but Edward still heard her.

The revelation of the birth control pills wasn't anything new. Edward had seen the packet resting on Bella's bathroom counter one morning when he was dropping off Anthony. Though it wasn't new information, it was still nice to have the confirmation.

Even still, Edward looked over Bella's head at Alice and frowned. _Enough._ Her "helpfulness" was bordering on creepy and Edward didn't want Bella to think he had anything to do with her plots and plans.

Jasper, who had also been privy to Alice's disclosures, reminded his party that the toy store would soon be closing, and if Anthony wanted to pick out a game, they'd better get going.

"I think you should get Battleship," Emmett told Anthony. "I'm good at Battleship."

"I don't know how to play that," Anthony said.

"I'll teach you," Emmett said. "It's easy."

"Okay," Anthony grinned up at Emmett, not in the least bit intimidated by his size.

"Hey, I have an idea," Alice told Anthony as she moved to stand next to him. "Why don't you ride with me, Jasper and Emmett to the toy store. That way we can talk about all the fun games you might want to look at once we get there."

"That sounds like a great idea," Bella encouraged, knowing Alice and Jasper were trying to ease Anthony into an overnight separation from his father in small doses.

Anthony didn't seem to have a problem with riding in Jasper's car, although he did continually search out Edward's car through the rear window on the short drive to the toy store, and each time he did so, he'd wave until Edward saw him and waved back.

The toy store was surprisingly crowded for a Forks store after eight o'clock on a weekday. Despite it being only one day after Thanksgiving, the store was already bedecked in all of the Christmas frills. Edward saw a display of fake mistletoe and picked one up and held it over Bella's head. When she was sure that they weren't being observed by small five-year-old eyes, she reached up on her tiptoes and planted a kiss on Edward's lips. The innocent, playful kiss turned serious in a matter of minutes, and the couple stood, inappropriately in the middle of an aisle filled with doll strollers and dollhouses, making out like a pair of hormonal teenagers.

"Dad! Dad!"

Edward and Bella scrambled apart when they heard Anthony's feet pounding against the aged linoleum, seeking out his father in excitement.

"Look what I got!" he held up the Battleship game Emmett had talked him into. "I get to be a ship!"

"That looks great, Anthony," Edward said as he looked over in time to see Emmett motioning for Edward to wipe off the smattering of lipstick that was left over from the kiss he and Bella had just shared.

When Edward spun around to hide the evidence, Bella leaned down to look at the game and engage Anthony in his new bounty. "Make sure Emmett doesn't cheat," Bella warned Anthony. "You make him play fair."

Edward turned back around to see Bella couched down beside his son, and while he should have been moved my how lovingly she dealt with him and how much she cared, Edward couldn't help focusing on the way her jeans hugged her curves and how if he leaned over just a …little…bit, he could see the top of her underwear. Black lace.

"So…is this it? Are we ready to go?" Edward looked around at his friends. Because he was certainly ready to go.

The night had been like one extremely long foreplay session, by the time Edward led Bella through his front door. With her fingertips gingerly locked between his, Edward wondered how much longer he could hold out before he lost any semblance of control.

Fortunately, he wouldn't have to wait that long.

"It's late, but, if you wanted to watch some TV…" Edward trailed off as he gestured between the couch and the television set.

"I don't want to watch TV," Bella stated in a low, even tone as she walked slowly to stand before Edward.

"You don't?" Edward smirked as Bella sidled up to him and ran her hands brazenly underneath the edge of his t-shirt.

"Uh-uh," she shook her head.

"Well what did you want to do?" Edward's brusque whisper filled her mouth as he leaned in for a kiss.

Bella took her time breaking that kiss to answer. "Well…a little more of this," she breathed sultrily as she partook of two more kisses. "And a little of this," she trailed her lips across his jaw and down to his neck, where she lightly sucked and nipped at the tender skin there. "And maybe some of this," she lifted her mouth to his ear and gently took his lobe between her teeth.

"Mmm…" Edward strained. No one had ever done that to him before and he had no idea how much he'd enjoy it.

When her mouth returned to his, Edward rushed to fill it with his tongue, thrusting, stroking, fondling – a preview of what he wanted to do to her in other areas.

"You want to go upstairs?" Edward prompted. He'd been sporting stone in his pants for so long that if Bella brushed up against it one more time, he was sure he would shatter.

"Yes," Bella answered breathlessly.

They took the stairs up to Edward's room together and Edward took full advantage of their position, her back to his front. Each step provided another opportunity for him to rub, grope and ignite Bella to new height.

"Ummmm…" she murmured when Edward reached underneath her shirt and cupped a breast in each of his hands. He struggled to keep them steady as he shifted up her bra to expose her budding flesh.

He took her nipple between his thumb and forefinger, pinching and flicking simultaneously. Bella arched her back and reached her hand up, taking a handful of hair between her fingers and tugging in frustration of not having access to the rest of him in their current stance.

The moment they made it to the landing at the top of the stairs, Bella spun around to face Edward, planting wet, torrid kisses against his chest as she tugged at his barely buttoned shirt. Edward took that moment to pay proper homage to Bella's ass, squeezing, kneading and pressing her into him as he bit down at the crux of her neck.

"Oh, Edward," Bella moaned. "I need you…now."

For a moment, Edward thought he had misinterpreted her meaning. Surely it was his own personal preferences that had construed her words into what he was longing for. For hours he'd fantasized about kicking down the door, falling on top of Bella on the bed and having his way with her. But the gentlemanly side of him, the side of him that reminded him how much he cared for the woman that was now in his arms, and how much he wanted this night to be the first of many nights, reiterated that he needed to focus on her needs and not just his own. He needed to show his unselfishness the only way he knew how, by putting her pleasure before his own.

"Please…" Bella straightened up and began tugging at his belt. "I can't wait any longer," she yearned.

In the two seconds it took for Edward to realize he wasn't dreaming, and that he and Bella were on the same page, yet again, Bella had managed to unbutton his pants and get them down past his waist. His boxers barely hung on his hips, he backside exposed while the front was hung up on the erection that was giving Bella's performance a standing ovation.

In a fumbling frenzy to get naked, Edward tugged at the clasp on Bella's bra while she kicked off her shoes, stepped the rest of the way out of her pants, and glided her fingers over his ass to free him of his underwear.

Edward was barely able to remove his socks before Bella climbed into his lap and straddled his pelvis – coating him with kisses and passion as she fused against him.

Edward's hands slid up Bella's thigh, under her navel and between their bodies. His fingers raked against soft downy coils before gliding along passion-saturated flesh and plunging deep into the depth of her desire.

"Oh, Edward," Bella uttered susurrations through clenched teeth and closed eyes.

Edward struggled with coherence as his senses filled with the sight, smell and feel and sounds of being with Bella. But she was pressing against his cock, insistent on gaining more than his fingers were offering, and he had to know…before he was buried deep inside her and there would be no turning back…

"Bella," he heaved, "I know…you said you were on the pill but…do you want…" Bella reared back and grazed the tip of his penis, lighting him on fire. "Umphmm….condom. Do you want me to wear one?"

"Do you want to?" Bella's question strained into the darkness, as if she knew that a condom meant momentary separation.

Edward could have answered customarily, speaking only to her wants and denying his own. But the day had left him with only a shard of self control, so he spoke honestly and basely.

"No," he said. "But I will if you want me to."

"I trust you," she answered. "Do you trust me?"

"Mm…hmm…" he would have answered more confidently if it was at all possible but Bella was _right there_, hovering above his cock so palpably that he could feel the forces of gravity begging her to give in.

Ever so slowly, and with concentrated grace, Bella pushed into Edward, impaling herself willingly and completely.

"Ssshhhiitt…" Edward bit down on his bottom lip, wiling himself not to completely embarrass himself by finishing on penetration. It was a fight that he didn't think he was going to win, so in one fell swoop, he grabbed Bella by her hips, lifted her up and off of him, and pulled her the distance from his groin to his face, where his tongue was waiting to finish what his cock had started.

Protests died in Bella's throat the minute Edward began his long, languid licks against her clit. And when the mewling and grinding abated, he began sucking at the engorged nib, rushing Bella to the precipice of an orgasm before he sent her toppling over.

Rocked by aftershocks and rolling hips, Bella dismounted Edward and kneeled before him as he walked her backwards on his knees, toward the headboard.

Edward ached to experience the euphoria still present on Bella's features as he bowed down to ravish her with a kiss.

She greedily returned the lip-lock, not caring that only moments before his lips had been bathed in her honeyed mist.

The kisses turned desperate and feverish as Edward placed his hands behind Bella's thighs and braced her against the headboard; in one swift movement, he was inside of her, pumping and threshing toward his release.

Bella wrapped her legs around his waist, facilitating his movements and enabling him to go deeper, harder and faster.

Swear words perched upon his tongue – the only communication wicked enough to express how fierce, uninhibited, animalistic, elevated, inspired and complete he felt. However, he fought against speaking them, not wanting to taint the beauty of the milestone with the harshness of such words.

"God, I love…being…with…you," he choked out as the fingers of his climax clawed at his body, his belly, his groin.

"I love being with you, too," Bella responded, but her words were overshadowed by the guttural grunts and groans of a sated man as Edward spilled into her.

They punctuated the abating moment with a kiss as the air stilled around them and they came down from their passion-filled ride.

"Please, don't ever make me wait that long again," Edward sighed as he rolled over onto his back and collapsed against the mattress in satisfaction.

You just tell me when, and we'll go again," Bella laughed softly as she settled down with Edward between the sheets. She closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep to the sound of Edward's breathing leveling off and holding steady.

An hour later she was awoken by hungry hands on her hips, persuading lips on her shoulder, and a fiery word in her ear.

"When."


	23. Chapter 23 Sowing the Seeds of Love

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 23 – Sowing the Seeds of Love**

"Okay, so now I know why I haven't heard a peep out of you in weeks," Renee Swan muttered as soon as Edward had exited through Bella's front door.

"Mom, don't start," Bella warned.

"Don't start? _Don't start?_" Renee looked over at Charlie. "Are you kidding me? I travel all this way, to find my daughter in bed with I man that I've never even heard about – and don't even get me started on the fact that he has a ready made family –"

"See? We're in agreement. Let's not get you started," Bella stated flippantly. She looked over at her father and took a seat next to him on the sofa. "How are you doing, Dad?"

"Oh you know me. I'm satisfied," Charlie said. He looked over at Bella and winked. She knew that wink. It meant 'hang in there, kid'.

Bella used the excuse of her new hostess status to distract her parents from the position they'd caught her in. She straightened her bedroom, changed the sheets (ignored the comment from her mother about whether or not she should flip the mattress), and put fresh towels in the master bathroom.

Then, over lunch, she casually mentioned the status of her relationship with Edward.

"So…Edward and I have been seeing each other…seriously…for a while now," she tossed out.

"So it would seem," Charlie said right before taking a bite of the ham and cheese sandwich Bella had made for him.

"And the little boy? Is he from a previous marriage? It is a _previous_ relationship, right?" Renee insinuated.

"What are you trying to say, Mom?" Bella was angry at the implication.

"Well…nothing. I just thought that-"

"You just thought that since I met Edward I've lost all sense of a moral compass and I'm openly dating a married man in front of his little boy?" Bella hissed.

"Now don't go getting all excited, Bells," Charlie stated. "Your mother is just surprised, as am I, to find out that you have a boyfriend. You've never mentioned him."

"Don't make excuses for her, Dad," Bella said as she got up from the table. "And now that you both know I have a life, please be sure to phone next time before driving across state lines." As she made her way out of the small dining area, she turned and called over her shoulder, "and Edward and Anthony will be joining us for Thanksgiving dinner."

Bella felt like a petulant child as she isolated herself in her spare bedroom; hardly like the adult woman, capable of holding a relationship outside of her parents' knowledge. However, the revelation that she hadn't told her parents about Edward made Bella wonder if subconsciously she was unsure of the state of their relationship.

"No," Bella told herself out loud to debunk the negative mental tape. "We've just only defined things for ourselves. I mean…we haven't made any declarations about feelings or anything, but…"

"Is this a one-way conversation or can anyone join in?" Renee asked softly as she poked her head through the doorway. When Bella responded with silence, Renee entered the rest of the way and took a seat on the bed. "I'm sorry, honey. You're right – we invaded your privacy. I just…really thought you'd be happy to see us."

"I _am_ happy to see you. I just wish you had given me a heads up at the corner or something. This wasn't the way I wanted you to meet Edward." Then, to drive home her point, Bella added, "it's my relationship and it's up to me to decide when to involve you in it."

Renee nodded her understanding and looked up at Bella through bashful lashes. "He _is_ cute though."

Bella's smile negated the adamant shaking of her head. "Mom, Edward is so much more than a pretty face."

"Is he nice to you, baby?"

Nice didn't seem like the right word to sum up how Edward treated her or made her feel. It was hard to describe to a person who hadn't witnessed their interaction first hand; who hadn't seen the changes each had brought to one another.

"He's everything to me, Mom," Bella simply said.

Renee raised her eyebrows for emphasis, but said nothing. She stood up and straightened the pants she wore, that looked about as weary from travel as she did.

"I think I need a little nap, but after that, I hope you and I can do a little more catching up," Renee winked.

While her mother dosed in the back, and Charlie adopted a near catatonic state in front off the television, Bella used the time to come to terms with the fact that her and Edward's relationship had just been ushered into a new realm. She chuckled humorlessly at how outside sources always seemed to press them forward. Not that she didn't want to move forward with Edward.

Maybe it was simply a nudge in the right direction.

The little catching up session that Bella's mother had hinted at got relegated to the back burner when Renee slept longer than she'd intended, and woke up just when Bella was getting ready for bed.

Letting her oversleep _might_ have been intentional.

The next time Bella saw her mother, it was Monday morning and Bella was bustling back and forth, getting herself and Anthony ready for one of the few full days of school they had before the Thanksgiving holiday.

"And what are you doing here so early in the morning?" Renee tried to disguise her question as friendly morning banter, but Bella could hear the accusation in her voice.

"Edward works three twelve-hour shifts, Monday through Wednesday, so I take Anthony to and from school a few days a week to help out," Bella answered truthfully.

"That's so nice of you, Bella," Renee said, her words overly sweet, implying that Bella was unjustly putting herself out. Then, Renee turned and addressed Anthony directly, instantly catapulting Bella into a state of regret that she hadn't had the sense to pull her mother aside and tell her a little about Anthony's background.

"And where's your mother, sweetheart?" Renee asked.

"She's in heaven with Grandma," Anthony answered.

"Wha-?" Renee looked at Bella for clarification.

"She's in heaven," Bella reiterated nonchalantly as she zipped up Anthony's lunchbox after checking to see if Edward had given him an ample meal. He had.

"I don't like carrots," Anthony complained when he'd gotten a glimpse of the orange vegetable. "No one ever wants to trade for carrots."

"You shouldn't be trading your lunch," Bella reminded him of the rule she'd established for her class. "Your dad gave you carrots because he wants to make sure you get enough vitamins to grow up to be big and strong."

"Aw, I'm big already," Anthony argued.

"You're big enough for a five-year-old, but soon you're going to be six, and what then? You don't want to still look like a five-year-old do you?"

"Well, can I just eat them when I'm six?"

"Sorry kiddo, it doesn't work that way," Bella smiled at his effort. "Go on and get your shoes on so we can get ready to go."

As soon as Anthony was out of hearing distance, Renee moved in.

"His mother is…dead?" she whispered the last word.

Bella nodded. "Anthony's had a rough go of it this year. He used to live with his mother and grandparents in Oregon until his mother and grandmother were in a fatal car accident. Then, because his grandfather wasn't in good enough health to take care of him, Anthony was placed into the foster care system until they located Edward – who didn't even know Anthony existed until a social worker showed up at his job and told him about a week before he got Anthony."

Renee balked. "What kind of father doesn't even know he's got a son?" she asked.

"The kind who is attached to a girlfriend that says she's having an abor-"

"I'm rea-dy," Anthony sing-songed as he walked back into the kitchen.

As soon as Anthony made his presence known, Renee grabbed him and gave him a giant hug. "You have a good day at school now, you hear, baby?" she instructed him.

Anthony was a little jolted by the overture, but nodded nonetheless.

"And if you don't like those carrots, you don't have to eat them," Renee told him.

"Okay!" Anthony brightened when he heard that.

"Hey!" Bella corrected her mother.

"What? He doesn't like them," Renee shrugged. "Hasn't he suffered enough?" she covered Anthony's ears when she asked the last question.

Bella shot her mother a dirty look but didn't say another word. There wasn't time to try to reason with Renee.

And left unchecked, whenever she saw Anthony, Renee took it upon herself to spoil him rotten with movies, books, games and junk food galore. Even Charlie got involved, once Renee had repeated the story of Anthony's tragic past to him. On Tuesday afternoon, Charlie plucked Anthony up as soon as he'd walked into the apartment and sat him at the table with an already set-up game of checkers.

"How do you play it?" Anthony asked.

"Well, first you pick a color. Black or red?" Charlie asked.

"Red," Anthony said immediately. Charlie spun the board around so the red checkers were facing Anthony.

"Okay, to play the game…" Charlie went into full tilt teaching mode, and Anthony leaned forward, rapt with interest.

It was a cute moment and Bella wanted to enjoy the lightness of it, as she sat nearby on her sofa sorting through her class's artwork. But all she could think of was a young Edward and whether or not he'd had any moments like that with his father or grandfather.

"Bella!" Renee's shrill voice interrupted Bella's reveries. "Where's all the stuff for the turkey? I see no breadcrumbs or seasonings…you don't even have a turkey baster."

"Oh, uh, I'm getting it tomorrow," Bella said. It had been her intention to pick up all her holiday fixings on Monday, but she'd gotten preoccupied.

"Wednesday? You're getting everything the day before Thanksgiving? Are you crazy?" Renee stood staring down at her. "You're usually much more prepared than this. What's gotten into you?"

"Mom, you're making a big deal over nothing. The secretary in the office told me they slash the prices on all that stuff right before Thanksgiving and you get a great price," Bella reasoned.

"That's in the big city. Bella. This is Forks – a small town. Here, when you wait until the last minute to get stuff, there's nothing left." Renee put her hand to her forehead in a statement of overwhelmed frustration. "At least you've already got the turkey."

"Yes, and it's already defrosting in the refrigerator, in case you're wondering," Bella said.

"Well, we should go shopping tonight for everything else," Renee suggested.

Luckily Edward showed up just then and interrupted Renee's request.

"It's only a half day tomorrow, Mom. I'll go shopping right after school. It'll be fine," Bella stated. She hadn't gotten to spend nearly enough time with Edward, and the last place she wanted to be was in a supermarket when she could be wrapped in his arms.

"I miss you. I miss you. I miss you," Bella said as she kissed Edward on his cheek, his neck and his lips. They stood outside on her porch, away from the eyes of her parents and Anthony.

"I miss you, too," Edward said as he returned each kiss.

Memories of their Sunday morning adventures flickered to life in Bella's mind as Edward's hands began to travel to her hips, where he gently tightened his grip.

"We need to hang out. Soon," he murmured against her lips.

She understood exactly the unspoken request in his words as soon as he'd said them, and her body was in full agreement.

Of course Renee chose that moment to open the door and poke her head out. "Oh…I was wondering what you were doing out here," she said to Bella, though her eyes were on Edward.

"Just chatting with Edward," Bella sighed. "Or trying to, rather."

"Hello, Edward," Renee said, her tone neither friendly nor unfriendly. Bella recognized her mother's indifference. Renee wasn't sure what to make of Edward.

"Hello…enjoying your vacation so far?" Edward asked.

"I'd enjoy it more if I got to spend a little more time with my daughter," Renee hinted. "She leaves so early in the morning and is so busy in the evenings."

"Well, that's what happens when you show up unannounced and interrupt someone's life, Mom," Bella reminded her.

"What?" I…I wasn't," Renee was flustered. "I wasn't complaining. I was just saying I'd like to see you more. Is that a crime?"

"Mom…can you give us a minute?" Bella pointed at Edward.

"Oh…sure." She disappeared in a flash.

Edward shook his head and smiled. "Well, and on that note I think I'll be going," he said.

"Not yet," Bella wrapped her arms around Edward's waist and rested her head against his shoulder. He smelled like cedar and aftershave and hard work. She closed her eyes and drank in his presence. "As soon as Thanksgiving is over, it's just you and me. I promise."

"I like the sound of that," Edward said before softly kissing Bella on the neck.

As Bella watched Edward lead Anthony to the car, she fought to repress the feelings of longing and desire she'd been harboring for Edward since the beginning of the week. However, the more she tried _not_ to think of him, the more she did. And when she phoned him at night, just to hear his voice, an action she thought would make her feel closer to him, actually had the opposite effect. Instead of bridging the void, the sound of Edward's voice made her feel even more desperate for his presence.

She tossed and turned all night under the weight of her wanting and the next morning she awoke feeling grumpy and tired. Her disposition put her in no mood to deal with her mother, so when Renee casually reminded Bella about the shopping trip they needed to make that afternoon, Bella nearly swore when telling her mother that she hadn't forgotten.

"For your sake, I hope the store isn't a madhouse and you'll be able to get in and out quickly. It looks like you could use some rest," Renee said as she copied Bella's actions from the previous day and peered inside Anthony's lunch.

"The store isn't going to be a madhouse," Bella snapped. "In fact, I'm sure I'll be glad I didn't go yesterday for all the good deals I'll get."

Boy, she couldn't have been more wrong.

The lone grocery store in Forks was busier than usual for a Wednesday afternoon, and as soon as Bella pulled into the parking lot, she knew her mother had been right. She readied herself to hear a haughty 'I-told-you-so' courtesy of one Renee Swan, but her mother said nothing of the sort.

"So, you said that Edward and Anthony were joining us for Thanksgiving. Anyone else?" Renee asked.

"I also invited Rosalie. She didn't really have anyone to spend the holiday with," Bella said.

"Okay," Renee began to count people on her fingers. "We already have a fourteen pound turkey, so that should be enough to have leftovers. You know how Daddy loves his leftovers."

Bella nodded as she picked Anthony up and put him in the cart. He only scowled a little bit at being too big to ride in the shopping cart, but with so many people milling around them in the small space, Bella didn't want to take any chances of losing him.

"I'm hungry for cereal," Anthony announced as the trio neared the cereal isle. When Bella and her mother continued to banter back and forth, Anthony patted Bella persistently on the arm. "Mommy, can we get cereal?"

"Uh…sure. What kind?" Bella asked.

Anthony pointed at a box of Fruit Rings and Bella picked them up and tossed them into the cart.

On the surface, she was cool, calm and collected, as if she hadn't heard Anthony refer to her as 'mommy'. But on the inside, she was reeling. Anthony was on an outing with her and her mother. Of course it would remind him of his mother and grandmother. Was this a painful experience for him? Was this impromptu trip going to cause him some residual harm?

"Do we need cornstarch for the gravy, or are you making it differently this year?" Bella asked her mother, choosing, instead to busy herself with minor details.

"Cornstarch," Renee simply said. However, when Bella stepped away from the cart to retrieve it, Renee leaned into her and whispered. "He called you 'mommy'. Is there something going on that I don't know about?"

"I'm a kindergarten teacher. I get called 'mommy' fifty times a day by _all_ of my students," Bella shrugged it off. "It happens so frequently that I don't even correct it anymore."

But Bella knew that Anthony hadn't simply made a slip of the tongue. He was testing the limits, and when, ten minutes later, he called her 'mommy' again, Bella knew she would have to confront it.

"You know what, Anthony," Bella began, "I wonder if you might be able to do something for me…"

"What?" Anthony asked, ready to please.

"When we're in school, I need you to call me Miss Swan, like all of the other kindergarteners, but when we're at home and it's just us, you can call me Bella. Do you think you can remember the difference?"

"At school I call you Miss Swan and at home I call you Bella. That's easy," Anthony said with the shrug of his shoulders.

"Okay, I'm going to be listening to see how easy it is for you to remember," Bella smiled at him, but silently she knew she had either delayed an issue or created a crisis. And yes, the first year teacher's entire class calling her by her first name would most definitely be considered a crisis.

"Well, I think we got everything," Renee said as she picked through the ingredients in the cart. "Lets get out of here before the lines are a mile long."

As they stood in line waiting their turn, Renee did her best to spoil Anthony with everything within an arm's reach. Every time Bella looked over, her mother was handing Anthony M&Ms or bubblegum, or a candy-filled Pez dispenser. Bella knew it was her mother's way of sympathizing with Anthony's situation, so she didn't say anything at first, but when her mother reached for what looked like a chemically colored container of sugar, Bella drew the line.

"I think Anthony's good, Mom," she shook her head.

The lady in front of them was trying to sneak through the quick checkout line with way more items than the limit allowed. Bella was so irritated that she entertained the idea of alerting the cashier, though she knew she would not. But Renee might…

"Mom," Bella turned to get her mother's attention. She sucked in a sharp gasp of breath when she saw that her mother had struck up a conversation with the woman standing behind her. A woman with caramel-colored hair and a distant resemblance to Anthony.

Bella's eyes immediately darted to Anthony, but he was none the wiser. He sat in the front of the cart with the Pez dispenser, repetitively flipping his thumb over the top of it to make it click.

And then her eyes ascended to Esme's.

"I used to brine my turkey…" Esme was saying to Renee, but her eyes were focused on Bella. And Bella steadied her gaze right back, daring Esme to reveal who she really was.

"Bella, do you think we've got enough time to brine the turkey?" Renee turned to Bella suddenly.

"No," Bella stated flatly.

"I think you'd like it. We should remember to do that next year," Renee commented.

"I don't like it and I don't want anything to do with it," Bella said, even though she'd never actually tried a brined turkey. Her words were for Esme, and she hoped she received them clearly.

Renee looked a little taken aback by Bella's abruptness, but she didn't try to push the issue any further.

When the line finally moved forward, Bella used the freed space to put further distance between Anthony and Esme.

"Come on, buddy," Bella said as she lifted Anthony out of the cart. He seemed all too happy to be free of the confinement.

"Bella, she only has a few items," Renee pointed at Esme, "maybe we should let her go ahead of us."

Bella looked at the meager items in the basket Esme held and shrugged her shoulders. "We've all only got a few items. It's the quick checkout lane," Bella said; despite the woman in front of her who hadn't bothered to take notice of the twelve items or less rule. "And besides, I've already got my stuff on the conveyor belt."

"Bella!" Renee was shocked at Bella's rudeness.

"It's okay," Esme said. "I'm not in any hurry."

Bella's behavior had effectively shocked Renee into silence, and she didn't say another word until it came time to pay for the groceries. Then she intercepted the transaction and handed the cashier her credit card.

"Bella, what's gotten into you?" Renee waited until they were outside the store to ask. "You were so rude back there. Did you know that woman or something?"

Esme was the one who answered that question for Renee, when she came out of the store, calling Bella's name.

"Mom, here," Bella handed Renee her keys. "Take Anthony to the car. Hurry," she hissed.

Renee looked frantic as she grabbed Anthony's hand and maneuvered the wobbly cart toward Bella's truck.

"I'd say this town is too small if I wasn't convinced that your presence here isn't merely a coincidence," Bella said coolly as Esme came to a stop in front of her.

"It's nearly Thanksgiving, Bella. It shouldn't be that odd that we'd run into each other at the grocery store," Esme said as she smoothed down a stray piece of hair.

Bella rolled her eyes and stepped back.

"Well…your demeanor toward me has changed a great deal since the last time we saw each other," Esme managed a tight smile. "I take it Edward told you what happened."

She might has well had come right out and asked. Bella felt like a seventh-grader sitting between two feuding adversaries. _What'd he say about me? Well what did she say about me?_

Well there was no way Bella was going to take that bait. If Esme wanted to hear Edward's version of his own story, she was going to have to hear it from him.

But when Bella began to tell Esme as much, she took in the expectant way that Esme was watching her. Regally clutching her purchase as if she was making time for Bella's report.

Suddenly, Bella was incensed.

"How dare you," she muttered just above a whisper. "How dare you stand here and act like you're owed some…some…_anything_!" Before continuing, Bella checked to make sure her mother and Anthony were inside the cab of her truck. "You are the worst kind of low, you know that? A mother who abandons her own child when he needs her the most." Bella could tell that Esme was deriving some sick sense of pleasure from her harsh words, so she quit speaking and turned to leave.

"I'm not going to try to change your mind about me, you know," Esme called after her.

Bella laughed dimly as she turned to face Esme once again. "As if you could." There was a brief silence between the pair as a couple walked between them on their way into the store. "There isn't a word you could say that would change the way I see a mother who doesn't know her role; who doesn't understand that a mother is always supposed to believe, trust, comfort and love-"

"Now hold on just a minute," Esme's rising anger was evident. "Do not presume to tell me how I feel about my son."

"Your son?" Bella balked. "So you actually admit that you have one? Because, usually, when someone terminates parental rights, they tend to understand that they no longer have the right to refer to a child as their own."

Esme frowned and adjusted the bag she held in her hand. "How many children do you have, Bella?"

"I don't have to have children to-"

"Exactly," Esme cut her off. "What you have is some Lifetime movie version of what unconditional love is." The wind that picked up ushered in sprinkles of rain, and hinted at an imminent shower. "Love, protection, trust, belief…sometimes they're mutually exclusive."

"I think it was pretty clear that you didn't act in Edward's best interest," Bella said, regardless of what Esme was trying to infer.

"And how do you know?" Esme's voice escalated. "How do you know who you're going to be and how you're going to act after you bury a baby? How do you know that you're not going to sift through the evidence with the right state of mind to exonerate your son? And how do you know that you're not going to do something every single day that makes him feel guilty-"

"But that's exactly what you did. By abandoning him, by not telling him that you believed him and trusted him, you condemned him. What kind of parent does that?" Bella questioned.

"You think it was my choice? You think I wanted to lose another child?" tears now ran the course from Esme's eyes toward her chin.

"But what did you do to stop it?" Bella was unmoved by the show of emotion. "Instead of stand by Edward during his trial, you took the easy road and-"

"_His_ trial?" Esme frowned. "Bella, Edward was never on trial. His father and I were."

Esme's admission deflated the vigor of Bella's argument, and she stood staring at Edward's mother, her mouth agape. Finally, one single word escaped in a whisper. "What?"

"There was a hearing, which is what Edward most likely remembers," Esme said, "but there was never any conclusive evidence for the state to press charges against him. But, there were charges of negligence and neglect that stuck for Carlisle and I."

Esme was interrupted when Renee called out to Bella from across the parking lot. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah, I'll be right there!" Bella responded and held up one finger to her mother. Then she turned back to Esme. "Go on."

"When you're staring down the barrel of a third degree murder charge, you tend to do whatever the people on your side tell you to do. Because my husband nor I had any other family, Edward was taken into custody by Child Protective Services while we awaited trial. He was supposed to go into the emergency foster care system, but because of his age, it was more like juvenile hall. He thought he was in jail. I kept telling him that he wasn't and that I would come for him," Esme stopped to wipe her nose, "and I thought I would. I thought that in a few days time, it would be clear that it was just an accident and I'd get to take Edward home. Well…it actually took eighteen months to get through our trial. And that year, there was a federal law, the Adoption and Safe Families Act…ha," Esme laughed indignantly. "That law was enacted to automatically emancipate children from their parents when they'd been in the foster care system for over fifteen months. When Edward was thirteen and-a-half, he was emancipated and his records were sealed from us."

"So, wait a minute…are you saying that Edward was _taken_ from you?"

Esme nodded.

"But why didn't you fight for him? And even after eighteen months, you could have kept trying to get him," Bella said, though her tone had softened quite a bit. Her moments were more inquisitive than accusatory.

"There wasn't anything I could do for a long while. Even though the third degree charges had been dropped, the negligence and neglect charges stuck. We had probationary periods that restricted us from leaving the state, and by this time, Edward had been moved from Washington. They wouldn't give me any information on him because of the termination of my parental rights…and…there was the issue of his father…," Esme hinted.

"His father thought he was guilty, didn't he?" Bella asked. "Because calling your son a murderer after nearly 13 years doesn't sound like a father who thinks his son is innocent."

Esme's tears momentarily picked up as Bella took note of the rain. She was just about to end the conversation when Esme lightly touched Bella on the arm.

"My husband was a very strong man, Bella. He was intelligent and full of life. He was a very respected doctor in this town, and then when everything happened…I literally saw my husband break before my very eyes. One minute he was trying to calm me down, telling me everything was going to be fine, and then the next minute – nothing. Not a word.

"I'd like to tell you that Carlisle didn't mean what he said to Edward on Saturday, but the truth is, I have no idea. Twelve years ago, Carlisle was diagnosed with an extreme case of lalophobia. Basically, he just doesn't speak. And no amount of therapy, medication or pleading on my part makes any difference.

"Anyway, he was supposed to have a sleep test that day, but the test got canceled, which meant that he would be home when you all came by. Now, I was more afraid of Edward seeing Carlisle than of Carlisle seeing Edward, so I simply gave Carlisle his medication a little later, figuring he'd sleep through your visit." Esme wrung her hands nervously in front of her.

"I didn't want to cancel, Bella, surely you can understand that. I'd been hoping to spend an afternoon with Edward for years and I was so afraid that if I called it off, I'd never get another opportunity, so I took a chance. I took a chance and it failed. But you have to know that even I didn't know Carlisle felt that way." Esme held Bella's glance with her own. "I hadn't heard my husband's voice in twelve years…and I haven't heard it again since you all ran out on Saturday."

The two women stood staring at one another, knowing that the time and temperature was calling an end to their discussion. Bella resisted the urge to ask more questions and discover more answers. The liberation she felt at knowing more of the story weighed her down with feelings of treachery and injustice. This was something Edward should have heard way before she did.

"Why doesn't Edward know this?"

"Edward was extremely angry the first time we spoke, as I knew he would be. I chose to only answer his questions and not offer up any explanations because I was sure he'd think I was just trying to make excuses for myself." The rain had completely soaked Esme and she pulled her jacket tighter to keep any further warmth from escaping. "It was my intention to tell him everything at his own pace. As he asked, I planned to answer…but I got a little impatient. It's hard waiting, Bella, knowing that I have a grandson out there."

Bella nodded and shivered a bit under the wet weather. She heard her truck idle as Renee drove up to where Bella and Esme were standing.

"I have to go," Bella said. She knew she'd have a horrible head cold if she stood out in the rain any longer.

"Yes," Esme nodded quickly. "Just, Bella…I know that I'm not really in any position to ask any favors of you, but…if you could ask Edward to call me..."

"Esme, I can't…I can't insert myself that way…It's not my place," Bella shook her head.

"Bella, please," Esme beseeched, "you said yourself that he needs to hear this, and he needs to hear it from me."

"I'm know, but I'm sorry," Bella stated with finality. "I can't go there with him. Not now."

"Then don't say no," Esme rushed in. "Just say 'not right now'. Please. Let me have some hope that I can fix things with my son."

Esme watched her with defeated eyes until Bella slightly nodded her acquiescence.

"Oh, Bella! Thank you," Esme moved forward to hug Bella and Bella took an automatic step back. "I'm sorry…"

"No, I…it's…" the moment was thick with unrecoverable awkwardness. "I have to go."

Bella raced to the passenger side of her truck before Esme could ask any more of her. As it was, she was sure Edward wouldn't be to pleased with the close proximity she'd had Anthony to Esme, even if he'd stayed in the truck.

"Do you know how long we've been sitting here?" Renee asked with indignation when Bella hopped into her truck and turned on the heat full blast. "Thank goodness Anthony had his candy or he would have started gnawing on the door handles."

Bella rolled her eyes at her mother's exaggeration. "We'd better get going. Dad's going to wonder what's taking so long."

Still in the driver's seat, Renee maneuvered the truck out of the parking lot and back toward Bella's apartment. "So…who was that woman?"

"Just an acquaintance," Bella said as she looked over her shoulder and watched Esme pull at the door of her white Lincoln Town Car that still bore the damage from when she'd rammed into Bella's truck.

It was clear by Bella's tone that she would offer no more information on the subject and Renee didn't ask.

If Charlie had even noticed how long Bella and her mother had been gone, he made no indication of it. He sat in front of the television, watching an instructional show on fishing. Bella didn't understand why he pretended not to know as much, if not more, than the instructors on those shows. Charlie loved fishing.

And apparently he wasn't the only one.

"I know what kind of fish that is," Anthony announced as he crawled up on the couch alongside Charlie. "It's a catfish."

"It's actually a trout, but that was a good try," Charlie said as he smiled down at Anthony, amused by his forwardness.

"My grandpa said that catfish have whiskers like cats," Anthony laughed.

"They sure do. Your grandpa is a smart man." Charlie looked over at Bella, checking to see if he'd said something inappropriate, and Bella shook her head that he hadn't.

"Mom, Dad, do you think you could keep an eye on Anthony for a little while. I have a few things to take care of, and then if I could just get a twenty minute nap or something," Bella asked.

"Of course, of course," Renee waved her on. "You do look tired. And don't worry about tomorrow's dinner. I'll get everything started."

Bella nodded her thanks before disappearing into the spare bedroom. The first order of business she had to take care of was phoning Rosalie and inviting her to Thanksgiving. She half expected Rosalie to give her a hard time about extending a last minute invitation, but Rosalie seemed so relieved to have someplace to go, that she quickly accepted.

Next, Bella remotely accessed her school email account and turned on her vacation response, since she wouldn't be returning to school until the following week. It wasn't really a necessary task, but Bella would do anything to keep from thinking about what had transpired that afternoon – what she now knew about Edward's situation that he did not know. And what kind of person she was for keeping it from him.

The part of her that felt that she would be freeing Edward from a twelve-year sentence of self-deprecation if she told him what Esme had told her warred with the part of her that witnessed the Edward that had just come into contact with his father after a twelve year absence. It wasn't pretty, and Bella wanted no part of anything that caused a repeat of that performance.

Bella justified the use of sleep-inducing cold medication by telling herself that she was simply trying to get a headstart on symptoms sure to be caused the by time she'd spent standing out in the rain that afternoon. But really, Bella just wanted to be numb to the numerous thoughts and memories that were rolling around in her head. Fortunately, the medicine worked as it promised, and Bella's twenty-minute nap turned into a two and a half hour one.

She came tearing into the living room, racked with guilt over shirking her responsibility of watching Anthony. But her fears quickly dissipated when she raced into the living room and found him right where she'd left him: cozied up next to Charlie, actively engaged in a fishing program on the television.

Bella followed her mother into the kitchen and plucked herself down in a chair. "I'm sorry I overslept."

"Don't be. If you need rest, take it," Renee said. "Anyway, I think your dad really enjoyed the time he was able to have with Anthony. He's really taken a liking to him."

"Well Anthony seems quite fond of him, too," Bella said as she yawned.

"He's a sweet kid. Edward seems to have done a good job with him," Renee said as she lifted the lid of a large pot and stirred. "It's nice to see a little boy who thinks his dad is such a hero. Every other word out of Anthony's mouth is 'my dad this and my dad that'. It's cute."

"Aw…Edward would love to hear that," Bella said, but her tone and expression didn't match her words.

Renee looked over to inspect Bella right then. "Everything okay, Bella? Things between you…and Edward…not that I'm trying to pry…"

"No, yeah, everything's good," Bella said. And for the most part, her statement was true. Everything _was_ good…except that she was harboring a huge, monumental secret from her boyfriend, that's all. Yeah, that's all.

When Edward came to pick up Anthony, instead of celebrating the fact that they both now had work-free time to spend with one another, Bella fixated on the undisclosed information between them. When Edward pulled her aside and asked her to spend time with him that night, Bella could barely look him in the eye. But when she recognized the expression on his face as one of rejection and doubt, she quit rebuffing his request and agreed to meet up with him later that night.

However, fate took the lead in dissolving those plans when Renee remembered the King's Hawaiian bread that she just _had_ to have, requiring yet another trip to the store. And since Renee had suddenly come down with a case of 'night blindness', Bella had to drive her; apparently chauffer Charlie wasn't an option, what with his exerting day as a sofa surfer.

On the way back from the store, Renee confided in Bella that back home in Arizona she hadn't been sleeping well and that maybe Charlie was right when he'd said Forks was soothing because ever since they'd arrived, she was sleeping better and better.

"It's actually nice to go to bed because I'm tired, and not because it's dark outside and therefore the right thing to do," Renee said.

"Are you tired, Mom?" Bella asked. She hadn't yet asked if she'd watch Anthony for a few hours, and up until that point, she was sure it wouldn't have been an issue.

"I'm exhausted," Renee emphasized.

Well…so much for babysitting.

"I'm sorry, Edward," Bella apologized when she called Edward later to tell him of the change in their itinerary.

"If you're tired, you're tired," Edward made the excuse for her. "It's understandable."

Maybe Edward had secretly been taking lessons from Renee because without even trying, he was good with the guilt. Edward, who had worked thirty-six hours in the past three days, while she'd worked only sixteen. Edward, who didn't have the luxury of taking a nap in the middle of the afternoon while his parents watched Anthony. Edward, who, at this moment, was probably thinking his girlfriend was pulling away from him for all the wrong reasons.

"I am tired, but I want to see you, too. I miss you so much," Bella said. "Even though I've talked to you and seen you everyday, I feel like I haven't." Her words seemed to be exactly what Edward needed to hear, because he went on to tell her about the Friday night plans he'd made with Alice and Jasper, plans that included an all night babysitter for Anthony.

Edward was passively telling her that it was time to move their relationship to the next level. It was time to enter into a relationship that required more trust, more devotion and more honesty.

The shackles of doubt fell away then, and Bella instantly felt lighter under the resolve to tell Edward what had happened with his mother. She didn't know how, and she didn't know when, but she knew that she would. And just knowing that made it much easier to interact with him for the rest of their phone conversation, and the following day at Thanksgiving dinner.

"Tell me I don't have to carve that thing," Edward whispered into Bella's ear as he eyed the large, golden-baked bird.

"My mom will have my dad do it," Bella whispered back. She rested her head on his shoulder and looked across the room at Rosalie, who was now being taught how to play checkers by a very enthusiastic Anthony.

"Did you just cheat?" Rosalie asked him indignantly. But Anthony didn't pick up on her tone, and collapsed into hysterics, thinking she was joking.

"No!" he exclaimed through a fit of giggles. And then when he saw the audience of Bella and Edward, he called, "Look, Bella! I'm winning."

"We just started. It's too early in the game to call a winner," Rosalie snipped, but then she looked up and winked at Bella, confirming that there would be a victorious outcome for Anthony.

Bella could tell that Edward was slightly uncomfortable by Rosalie's presence, but he didn't say anything about her or the plans he and Bella had that included spending time with Emmett Friday evening.

She could also tell that he was uneasy about being around Charlie, and whenever Bella left a room that her father was in, Edward would get up and follow right after her. As a result, he spent most of his time in the kitchen, instead of in front of the television.

"You don't want to watch the game?" Renee asked as she circumnavigated around him in the small kitchen.

"Basketball isn't really my thing," Edward answered quietly.

"Well, if you're in here, I'm going to put you to work," she warned.

"That's fine," Edward agreed.

Less than five minutes later, Edward was armed with a small grater and a stack of carrots. And just because Renee is Renee, she tied a small apron around his waist. Bella laughed at the sight of him, before snapping a picture.

"Oh, make sure you get a picture of Anthony with Papa Charlie," Renee instructed.

"_Papa_ Charlie?" Bella asked her mother.

"What?" Renee shrugged. "If Anthony can call you mommy, he can call Daddy Papa Charlie," Renee reasoned.

Bella shot her mother a deadly glare before turning to look at the questioning gaze Edward was giving her.

"It was just a slip of the tongue. All my students do it at some point or other," Bella dismissed. "I told him he could call me Bella when we weren't in school. Sorry I didn't check with you first."

"No big deal," Edward shrugged. But from the slight crease in his brow, Bella wasn't sure that he meant it.

The Thanksgiving meal went off without a hitch. Renee and Charlie each took turns fussing over Anthony, cutting his meat, buttering his bread and refilling a cup of juice to his heart's content.

Rosalie spoke of a new real estate developer out of Seattle that had asked her to submit a resume.

"That sounds promising," Bella said.

"It does. It's not exactly what I had in mind, but at least I'll be making money, and I know I can do it," Rosalie said.

"So you'll be moving to Seattle?" Edward asked.

Rosalie tugged nervously at her hair and answered softly. "I don't know. There are lots of things to consider before I take that step."

Bella could tell Rosalie was hoping Edward would relay that information to Emmett.

Sadly, Bella knew that the likelihood of that was slim. Unlike his friends, Edward rarely repeated anything he heard, most likely because he valued his own privacy so much.

Rosalie was the first to leave after dessert had been served. She said that she needed a long nap in preparation of driving to Port Angeles for their Black Friday sales. Bella considered asking her to take Renee so that she wouldn't have to get up so early and drive around Forks in search of some knickknack that was marked down a dollar or two. But tradition was tradition, and Bella always accompanied Renee to the after-Thanksgiving-sales. However, while she agreed to go, Bella made sure her mother knew that she'd be home early.

She had a date.

Even though Edward and Bella weren't alone as they dined with Emmett, Alice, Jasper and Anthony, they still sat at the table in their own little world.

That was, until Alice began interrogating Bella with ludicrous questions about monthly cycles and food cravings.

"Alice, really," Bella cautioned when she felt her friend had overstepped the line on girl talk in the presence of men.

"What?" Alice shrugged. "I live and hang out with guys all the time. What do you expect?"

"Not this," Bella said of the question of whether or not she suffered from bad monthly cramps. It was already bad enough that she'd all but announced that she was on the pill to the entire table, they didn't need any more specifics.

While Jasper was entertaining Anthony with the picture search on the back of the child's menu, Alice leaned over and told Emmett exactly what she thought of his "friend". Bella made sure to stay out of that conversation, and instead focused on the man next to her, who was lovingly holding her hand under the table.

It only took a moment for the innocent entanglement of their fingers to escalate into languid strokes and persistent squeezes. By the time they left the restaurant, Bella was sure she had bruises on the inside of her thighs from squeezing her legs together so tightly to ward off her desire.

After a trip to the toy store that was meant to distract Anthony from the fact that he'd be spending the night away from home, Bella and Edward could barely contain their longing for one another, and by the time they made it to Edward's bedroom, there was no question of what they'd be doing.

Being with Edward left Bella feeling sated and spent. After recovering from the best orgasm she'd ever had, Bella rolled over in Edward's bed and snuggled deep into the cotton sheets. The last thing she remembered as she drifted off to sleep was the warmth of his skin as his naked body rested against hers.

Time seemed to fast-forward without her, and suddenly she felt the urging grasps of passion-riddled hands and lips.

"When," Edward said as he kissed her neck. "When," as he crawled across her body and licked at the valley of her breasts. "When," as he cradled himself between her legs and pressed against her.

"When what?" Bella asked, quickly forgetting that she'd just been asleep.

"You said that _when_ I was ready for another go-around, all I had to do was tell you _when._ So, I'm telling you. When." And with one single thrust, he was inside of her.

This time, Bella lavished in the feeling of Edward being in control as he took charge of their lovemaking; foisting Bella's hands above her head with one hand and pulling her thigh higher on his hip with the other.

"Oh god, Edward," Bella moaned breathlessly when Edward swiveled his hips and deepened his stroke. She began to involuntarily raise her hips off the bed, matching his stride. "Oh – oh – oh – oh …" she got louder as she got closer to her climax. "Oh god…Edward…I love…oh god…"

Edward muttered in response as he approached his own pinnacle. A deep, guttural groan escaped him and he collapsed against Bella before rolling onto his back at her side.

Bella lay quietly listening to Edward as he panted beside her. She kept her eyes shut tight, wondering if she could prolong the euphoria of the moment, simply by willing it to remain.

Slowly, she opened one eye and peeked over at Edward.

He was watching her. It was a deep, watchful glare – like he knew there was something unspoken between them.

She looked away quickly.

"Hey," he softly touched her arm with the tip of his finger.

"Hey," she returned without looking at him.

Gingerly, he reached over and placed his hand on her hip and pulled her toward him, until she lay on her side facing him.

She looked at him then, and momentarily watched him as he watched her. The weight of her conscience was suffocating under his gaze, but just as she turned to look away, she heard his gentle voice.

"You can tell me, you know," he said. "Whatever it is. You can tell me what's bugging you."

Bella shook her head. "It's nothing. I'm fine," she insisted.

"It's Anthony and the mommy thing, isn't it?" Edward went on. "I'm sure it's just because we all spend so much time together. I didn't tell him to –"

"Edward, don't be ridiculous," Bella sat up quickly. "I'm not upset because Anthony called me mommy."

"You got kind of weird after your mom mentioned it. I thought maybe…"

"That's because _you_ got weird. I thought you might have had a problem with it."

"I didn't have a problem with it," Edward was still for a moment. "I just thought it was kind of…I don't know… I mean, remember when you told me that I had to tell him he could call me dad or he would never do it? Yet, here he is, calling you mommy and you didn't have to ask for it. I don't want to make it sound like I'm jealous or anything, because, I'm not. It's just weird at how his relationship with you is so much easier than his relationship with me."

"Yeah, but that has nothing to do with you or me. Anthony's had a mother before. He knows what it feels like." Bella told him. "And to be fair, I took him to the grocery store with my mother and I. I'm sure it reminded him of outings he took with his mother and grandmother.

"But he didn't have a father figure before you, Edward. He's taking his cues from you. If you don't tell him it's okay to do something, he's not going to do it. It's hard to be proactive about things you've never experienced."

"Tell me about it," Edward mumbled. "He knows so much on his own that I forget that there are still so many things about me that he doesn't know. Like, the other day we drove by the elementary school I went to and I pointed it out, and I could tell that the concept of me living in this town when I was his age was new to him. It hadn't even dawned on me to tell him about it."

Bella was going to tell Edward that it was completely normal to forget details like that when day-to-day life was so consuming, but one look at Edward's face and she could tell he had something else to say.

"I also realized…I've never…told Anthony I love him," Edward whispered as if his words weren't meant for anyone's ears but his own.

"Why not?" Bella was saddened at this confession. Anthony needed to hear that his daddy loved him.

Edward shrugged. "I guess it's just like you said. It's hard to do things you've never experienced."

_I love you._ Bella wanted to say it. She wanted to be the one to voice those words that he didn't remember hearing.

"But he knows, though, right?" Edward asked. The expression on his face begged Bella to affirm his concern.

"He might have an inkling," Bella placated, "but has he said it to you?"

"No," Edward said quietly.

"I'm sure he would love it if you said it to him. People love to hear that."

Edward put his head down and kissed the line of Bella's jaw. "Since I've never really said that to anyone…I might need a little practice." His words faintly flowed over her lips and landed with a flutter over her heart. "I…love you…like that?" he whispered.

Bella closed her eyes and nodded, pretending that the sentiment was directed at her.

Edward kissed the velvety skin of her eyelids. "I love…you."

She opened her eyes to find him hovering over her, hypnotizing her with the jade depths to his soul.

There was a moment of wavering, where he looked down and then back at her face, as if memorizing every aspect of it.

"I love you," he entreated.

And there was no mistaking who those words were meant for.

Bella opened her mouth to say it back; to tell him the phrase that she'd nearly said the night before, but a sob replaced the words she had for him. As Bella buckled under the weight of Edward's unmerited favor and the secret she'd kept from him, she wrapped her arms tightly around his waist and cried into his shoulder.

Edward encircled her with his arms and held her as she poured out her emotion and guilt. And somewhere between her tears, sobs and gasps for air, she told him that she loved him.

But he probably never heard it.


	24. Chapter 24 Master of Puppets

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 24 – Master of Puppets**

Bella was crying.

Edward lay on his side with the woman he'd just confessed his love to bawling uncontrollably in his arms.

"Bella…" Edward attempted to coax her into explaining what was wrong. Was it something he said, or rather _what_ he had said? Was it too soon to tell her that he loved her?

The phone rang, cutting through the moment like a blade. Edward's first inclination was to ignore it, but when he saw Jasper's number on the screen, a strange emotion gripped his chest as he wondered if Anthony was possibly in peril. His ringtone had cycled through two rotations before he picked it up.

"Sorry, man," Jasper apologized as soon as Edward answered. "I hope I'm not interrupting."

"Not at the moment. What's up?" Edward asked as he cautioned a glance at Bella. She moved away from him, rubbed her eyes and then ambled toward the small bathroom in the corner.

Edward felt like a jerk for admiring the view as she walked away from him.

She was still crying.

"Well…dude, I held him off as long as I could," Jasper continued, oblivious to what was occurring on the other end of the phone. "But your kid has been up for like, two hours, and he's sitting at the kitchen table with his backpack strapped to his back. He _really_ wants to go home…and I fuckin' need some sleep."

"Is he sick or something?" Edward asked.

"No…" Jasper answered slowly. Edward could tell that he hadn't thought of that. "At least I don't think so. He was pretty excited when he woke me up at five o'clock to tell me that he was ready to go home. And that was an understatement. He's been dressed and holding every possession he came over here with ever since."

If Edward hadn't been so preoccupied with what was going on with Bella, he might have chuckled at Jasper's comment.

"Okay. I'm on my way," Edward said right before hanging up.

He heard Bella when she emerged from the bathroom, but he didn't turn around to look at her. Instead, with the sheet tucked firmly around his waist, Edward leaned over and grabbed for his pants and underwear.

"That was Jasper. He wants me to come get Anthony," Edward said factually without turning around.

"Right now?" Bella asked. Her voice, though nasally, sounded higher than usual. "It's so early."

"Anthony has been up for hours, wanting to come home, and I told him I'd pick him up when he was ready to come home so…"

"Oh," Bella said quietly. "Do you want me to ride with you?"

Edward's chortle housed no wit. "And how, exactly, would we explain that to Anthony? That I just picked you up on the way?" Edward shook his head. "You'd better not."

"But…Edward…" Bella had pulled on her shirt and underwear and went to stand beside Edward. "I need to talk to you about something."

Edward stopped her immediately, not wanting to further his humiliation by having her actually verbalize the vast discrepancies in their feelings for one another.

"Hey, I get it, okay? We don't need to…discuss it, or whatever. And certainly not right now," Edward said as he leaned down and pulled on a sock.

"No, I don't think you do _get it_," Bella shook her head.

But Edward refused to make eye contact. Hastily he finished dressing and headed toward the bedroom door. He stopped in the doorway but didn't turn to face Bella as he spoke.

"If you want to hang out and take a shower or whatever, just let me know how much time you need. I can take Anthony to breakfast or something," he offered.

"Are you kidding me?" Bella shifted and attempted to make eye contact with Edward, but although he turned his head in her direction, he kept his eyes on the carpet. "After everything…you're gonna get weird on me the morning _after?_"

"What?" Edward asked, his misunderstanding clear.

"I mean…come _on_ Edward. You just told me you loved me and now you won't even look at me?" Bella asked.

"Well, hell, Bella," Edward rounded on Bella. "I tell you how I felt, and you shut down on me."

"I didn't shut down," Bella argued. "And that's what I wanted to talk to you about."

Edward held up his hand. "Save it. We'll pretend we had the I-don't-feel-the-same-way discussion and move on. Shall we?" he asked sarcastically.

Bella stepped back and leaned all her weight on one foot. She crossed her hands over her chest and appraised Edward openly. "Who doesn't feel the same way?" she asked, her voice harboring less tension.

Edward looked as if he were going to argue back for a moment. Then he straightened up and his shoulders fell slightly. "You didn't say it back."

"I did, too," Bella stated.

"No, you didn't," Edward said, playfully stubborn.

"Yes, I did."

"No. You didn't."

"I did, Edward."

"You di-"

Bella placed two fingers over Edward's lips to prevent him from saying anything further. "I love you, too," she said, smirking as she did so.

Edward grabbed hold of her wrist softly and kissed her two fingers before removing her hand from his mouth. "Well why didn't you say that in the first place?" he whispered before pulling her flush against his chest.

"I di-"

But this time Edward silenced Bella…with a kiss.

Edward no longer cared what excuse he and Bella would have to come up with to explain why Bella was riding beside him on his way to and from retrieving Anthony. All he cared about was that the woman of his dreams was sitting beside him, her fingers resting atop his on the center console. In fact, he was so blissfully unburdened, that he refused to acknowledge the shifty way Bella kept looking over at him, and the nervous fidgeting that rendered her silent. By the time they pulled into the driveway at Jasper and Alice's home, Bella had made two attempts at conversation and had uttered nearly that number of words.

However, conversation was thwarted when Edward noticed Anthony's face pressed against the screen door, and as soon as he saw Edward saunter toward the entrance, Anthony opened the door and raced down the walkway to his father. Jasper appeared from behind him wearing a thin t-shirt and a pair of sleep pants – hardly appropriate for the near-December weather.

Usually Edward encouraged Anthony to walk whenever his son held his arms up in a request to be carried, but this time he made an exception. He scooped Anthony up in his arms and held him tightly.

"Well, it looks like someone is happy to see you," Bella said as she reached up and tickled Anthony. He giggled into Edward's neck.

"Hi, Miss Bella," Anthony said, combining the name he called her at school with the name he could call her at home.

Alice walked up to Jasper and handed him a plastic bag filled with a few items that Anthony had left behind. Edward could tell that she was trying to conceal herself behind Jasper, for she was still clad in her nightgown.

"Sorry to get you up so early," Jasper apologized as he handed over the bag to Edward. "I just couldn't keep him focused on anything besides going home."

"No big deal. Thanks for keeping him overnight," Edward said. He waved to Alice, who was now hiding behind the front door.

"Hey, Edward," Alice called. "Who's Gus?"

"Oh…" Edward paused. "It's a stuffed puppet. Why?" Edward asked, even though he knew her reason for asking even before she'd enunciated the question.

"He kept asking for it," Jasper pointed at Anthony. "A lot."

"Next time, he should probably bring it with him," Alice suggested. Edward noticed that Jasper winced when she said 'next time' most likely because he couldn't fathom waking up before five o'clock on a Saturday morning ever again.

Edward nodded and looked over at Bella. She was probably the only other person on the planet that understood what Anthony's request for Gus truly meant. Last night, Anthony had felt threatened and abandoned, causing him to seek out the solace of his security object: Gus. In addition to a pang of guilt at knowing how his sleepover had made his son feel, Edward bristled as he realized that he either had to let Anthony in on he and Bella's decision to enter into a relationship, or his son was going to suffer more sleepless nights.

"I thought he'd forgotten about Gus," Edward whispered after Anthony was safely buckled into the backseat.

"Do you still have him?" Bella asked.

"Yeah. It's in a box on a shelf in his room. He seemed to be okay with that," Edward said, distracted. "I thought he was over that thing."

"Have you ever asked him why?" Bella asked. "Why he asks for Gus at certain times and not others?"

Edward shook his head, but Anthony spoke up before he had a chance to explain why he never asked; before he had to tell her that he was afraid of reminding Anthony of Gus' demise.

"Here, Dad," Anthony called as he thrust a crayoned picture through the space between the two front seats.

Bella accepted the picture for Edward since he was driving. "What's this, Anthony? It looks like you worked really hard on it," Bella gushed over the effort.

"It's a picture of the park where I play soccer," Anthony said, even though he'd only been there a couple of times with Edward.

"This is great," Bella said as she looked it over. "I'm sure Mrs. Walden would love to see this. You should show her on Friday when you have art."

"No." Anthony sat back and folded his arms over his chest indignantly. "I don't like Mrs. Walden. She's mean."

Bella turned around in her seat so that she could face Anthony. "Really?"

"Who's Mrs. Walden?" Edward asked. _Who was being mean to his boy?_

"Mrs. Walden is a resource teacher. She teaches art to the kindergarten class on Fridays."

"I don't like art," Anthony scowled.

"Since when?" Bella asked him. "You always do such a good job on your art." She held up the picture he'd just colored as evidence.

"Mrs. Walden doesn't let me draw. She makes me use bad pictures," Anthony stated.

"What's a bad picture?" Edward asked.

Anthony shrugged his shoulders, a signal that he didn't want to talk about it any further; Bella mimicked the motion when Edward looked over at her for an explanation as well.

"Whatever they're working on usually comes back to me after two weeks. I'll keep an eye out for whatever it is," she offered.

Edward was so comfortable with the scene, the three of them driving along the quiet streets of Forks, that he didn't initially notice when Anthony's chatter from the backseat fell off and Bella had returned to silently evaluating him. He glanced in the rearview mirror and noticed that Anthony was asleep at the same time that Bella finally hinted at why'd she'd been so quiet.

"Edward…I really do need to talk to you," she said quietly.

Edward sighed, wondering if he'd just experienced the phenomenon of the calm before the storm. "Sounds serious," he muttered.

Bella nodded at his side. After another cursory glance at Anthony to make sure he was still asleep, Edward steeled his eyes to the road and said, "let's hear it."

But the words that fell forth from Bella's lips were not what he expected to hear. Instead of '_I think we're moving too fast_' or _'I think your feelings for me are stronger than my feelings for you'_ or '_I've taken a job in a small village in China_', Bella mentioned the last person Edward wanted to think about.

"I saw your mother again," she said. And by the way her voice shook as she spoke, Edward knew she'd done more than merely look upon Esme. She'd talked to her as well.

"Where?" Edward asked, completely ready to hear that Esme had visited Bella at the school or had been waiting outside her apartment one day.

"At the grocery store," Bella revealed. "I was with my mom…and Anthony."

"Was she…alone?" Edward asked, wondering if Carlisle was there to poison the mind of his son.

"I think she's always alone, Edward." Bella positioned herself in her seat so that she could watch Edward as she spoke.

If Esme had played the pity card on Bella, it appeared that it had worked. But it wasn't going to work on Edward. He'd made a mistake when he'd agreed to go to Esme's house that Saturday, and it was definitely a blunder he planned to learn from. He was never going to let that woman back into his life.

"Yeah well, maybe now she'll know how I felt," Edward said bitterly.

"I think…you might want to talk to her," Bella broached the subject carefully.

"Nope," Edward shot her down immediately.

"I know, I know," Bella held up her hands in reasonable defense. "And if you'd told me a week ago that I would be encouraging you to go talk to your mother-"

"Don't even call her that. Call her Esme," Edward all but spit out the name. "Technically, I don't have a mother."

"Well I wouldn't have believed it either," Bella continued as if she hadn't been interrupted. "But, Edward, after…well…" Bella turned to look at Anthony. Seeing that he was still asleep, she went on, "After what we said to each other this morning…well I couldn't in good conscience say that I love you while holding on to information that I really think you need to have."

"Information that I need to have?" Edward unconsciously slowed the car down as he turned toward Bella. "What information?"

"Well, that's the thing, Edward, you really have to hear it from your mo- from Esme," Bella stated.

Edward shook his head in annoyance. "Did she put you up to this?"

Bella appeared to have a mental wrestling match as she internally weighed her answer. "Well, at first, when she approached me, I told her what I really thought of her, but only because she scared the crap outta me and I felt really vulnerable being there with Anthony," Bella added quickly. "But then she started talking to me…about that day and…well I think…no, I _know_ that you're remembering things quite a bit differently than how they actually happened."

Edward slammed on the breaks. "What the hell?" he bellowed.

"Edward!" Bella put her hands on the dashboard to brace herself.

"No, that's bullshit, Bella! You've met her, what, twice? And all of a sudden she comes in and feeds you all these fuckin' lies about what really happened so that you don't see her for the fucked up person that she is and you buy it? Just like that?"

By this time, Anthony had been jolted awake and his wide eyes vacillated frantically between his father and his teacher.

Edward clamped his mouth shut quickly when he saw that Anthony could hear him; in the process he winced at the note on which he left off with Bella. He looked over at her, hoping that she could read the apology in his eyes, but she was already looking out the window, casting her back to him.

"I'm hungry," Anthony announced. When his words were met with silence, Anthony realized he had a captive audience and began to drone on directionless, one topic after the other.

"I need to make my Christmas list for when I go to Salem Center to see Santa," he prattled on.

"Salem Center?" Edward said, momentarily checking back into the conversation. "What's that?"

"That's where Santa is, silly, when he's not at the North Pole." Anthony cracked up as if he'd just witnessed the biggest punch line in all of comedy history.

Edward couldn't help cracking a smile at the ease of his son's giggles, and when he stole a glance at Bella out of the corner of his eye, he could see that she looked slightly amused as well.

"Bella, do you have a Christmas list?" Anthony asked, stating her name without the title.

"Uh…not yet," Bella stammered. "But I'm working on it."

"Me too. But I like to use pictures to make sure Santa knows what I mean, but I don't have picture magazines at my house anymore," Anthony said.

"I'll bring you some," Bella offered. "I have lots at my house."

"Today?" Anthony leaned forward eagerly.

"Probably not today," Bella let him down gingerly. "My parents are going back to their house soon and I need to spend some time with them before they go," she explained.

Anthony frowned. "But Papa Charlie was going to take me fishing."

"Yes, he mentioned that," Bella assured Anthony. "I'll have to remind him to do that," she grinned.

Satisfied, Anthony began to list off the colors of the different fishing lures he had. Apparently the sound of his own voice soothed him, because by the time Edward pulled back into his small driveway, Anthony was once again sound asleep.

"Do you think you can help me…with his stuff?" Edward nodded toward Anthony's backpack and bag of toys. Not only did he not want to have to make a second trip outside after carrying Anthony upstairs to his room, but Edward also didn't want Bella to have a chance to run off without him groveling at her feet for how he'd spoken to her in the car earlier.

After depositing Anthony on his bed, Edward could hear Bella in the back bedroom rustling around, no doubt looking for articles of clothing that had been discarded in haste last night.

As stealth as possible, Edward slipped into his room and shut the door behind him. Despite his best efforts, Bella heard him.

"I'm not staying," she said without glancing in his direction.

"I don't blame you. Your boyfriend's a class-A jerk," Edward said, testing her mood. Bella grumbled in response. She didn't appreciate his comment.

"Bella…" he said softly as he came up behind her.

"I have to get going. I told my parents I'd see them this afternoon." Bella swiped at her sweater that lay on the floor and wrapped it in her arms before heading for the bedroom door. Edward stepped into her path and put his hands on her waist to still her.

"Hey," he coaxed, "Come on…at least let me say I'm sorry."

Bella shook her head, but didn't move or say anything more. Edward took the opportunity to gain as much ground as possible before she bolted.

"Look," he began, "I shouldn't have yelled…"

"Or swore," Bella helped him along. "I didn't deserve that."

"No, you didn't," Edward agreed as he moved his hands back and forth slowly along the sides of her torso. "I just…I don't want to go there again with that whole Esme situation…you know?"

"That's fine, Edward, and I will respect that. But you have to understand how this makes me feel, too. To know something that I think would make you feel so much better…and not be able to share it with you is not easy. It feels wrong," Bella said. She took a step back so that she could see him clearly. "That's why I couldn't help breaking down earlier, when you said you loved me…I just felt so…guilty. Like I couldn't possibly justify feeling the way I do about you, all the while holding on to something so…important."

"Fine," Edward said suddenly. "Tell me. What is it?"

"No," Bella shook her head. "Esme has to tell you. It's not the sort of thing that I should know and you don't, but it can't come from me. It should come from her, because I'll just mess it up and then you'll have more questions that I won't be able to answer. I won't do it justice. You have to hear it from her, Edward."

Edward grimaced as he tried to control his tone and tongue. "Don't you see that this is exactly what she wants? She's using you to get me to talk to her again because she knows that after that stunt she pulled last time it'll be a cold day in hell before I talk to her again."

"Maybe so," Bella didn't bother arguing. "But if one fraction of what she said to me is true, then I think it would be worth it for you to at least look into it."

"I'm not calling her," Edward said stubbornly. "So either you tell me, or just forget about it."

Bella contemplated his condition for a quiet moment before offering a compromise of her own.

"Okay, I'll tell you something verifiable that you can check to see if it's true. Then, if you find that it is, you can call your mother and get the rest of the story."

"Nope."

"Oh come on, Edward! You're not even trying."

"I thought I'd made that clear. I'm done trying."

"But why? Why would you give up if you had a chance to get it all back – the childhood that you thought you'd lost?"

Edward laughed sarcastically. "There's no chance of that, Bella. If I do call Esme, which I won't, but even if I did, at the very least, I'd find out that I was right, and that my childhood was just as shitty as I thought. Or, on the other hand, I could find out that my entire existence has been one big misunderstanding and that I've wasted more than half of my life thinking the wrong thing. That brings me right back to my shitty childhood. So, let's just cut out the middleman, admit I had a shitty childhood and move on."

Bella hung her head and pressed her thumb and forefinger against her tear ducts. When she finally moved her hand away, Edward could see that she was fighting against unshed teardrops.

"Baby," he crooned into her ear. "Why are you crying?"

She shook her head before revealing the motivation behind her emotions. "Because this is just so frustrating, Edward! You keep talking about your past, but what about your future? What if you didn't have to feel so betrayed? What if you weren't?"

"Bella, I know what happened to me," Edward said, annoyance coating each word. "I was there. I experienced it."

"But what if your perception of what you were experiencing was…off?"

"So now you think I lied to you?"

"No! Of course not." Bella placed her hand on his chest to calm him down. "But now, in light of what I know, I can see how you would have perceived things to be a certain way. And all I'm suggesting, Edward, is that since you have an in with a caseworker, you can have them check on what Esme said. Check to see if there's a conviction on record."

Edward looked at Bella thoughtfully. He had to hand it to her; she was one smart lady. She had carefully crafted her statement to pique his interest; to have him question her about a conviction that she purposely didn't assign to a particular person.

And though he _was_ curious, it paled in comparison to the overwhelming amount of fear he felt at what he might find out. While Bella was bound and determined to convince him that it would be a good thing to go trudging back through his past, experience had taught him otherwise.

"Can we just drop this?" Edward asked.

"Of course," Bella sighed. "And I'm sorry if I was being pushy before. It's just, like I said before, it doesn't feel right for me to know something that you don't know."

"Well then let's pretend that _you_ don't know. Let's pretend that we didn't have this conversation," Edward said as he kissed Bella's ear. "And let's pretend that I wasn't a total prick earlier, you didn't get mad at me and we didn't squander all of our time arguing when we could have been taking advantage of the fact that Anthony is asleep in his own bedroom."

"No way," Bella said as she softly pushed away from Edward. "If we pretend we weren't fighting, then we can't make up," she said coyly.

Edward laughed as he walked Bella back toward the bed seductively. She gave in to him, no longer putting up a front that she didn't want to be with him as much as he wanted to be with her.

As they made love in the middle of the morning, Edward hoped that his kisses, caresses and intimate actions spoke of his remorse at how he'd spoken to her, detailed the deep feelings he felt for her and concealed the fear at finding out more about his already blemished life.

Nearly an hour later, as they lay in bed listening for signs that Anthony had awoken, Edward listened as Bella spoke about how hectic her schedule was going to be up until Christmas. His head started to spin as she listed off Christmas pageants and shopping and art projects and Christmas cards and travel plans…

"You won't be here for Christmas?"

Bella shrugged. "I'm sure part of my mom's plan for coming here at Thanksgiving was to give me less of an argument for staying away at Christmas. Plus, if I go there, I can leave whenever I want," she laughed.

Edward nodded. He hadn't really given much thought to Christmas, except for that he'd wanted to spend it with Bella. However, he decided against sharing this with her in the off chance that she decided to use it as leverage to get him to talk to Esme.

"Oh, that reminds me," Bella said suddenly. "Can I take Gus home with me?"

"What? Why?" Edward asked, both shocked and disappointed in the turn in conversation.

"I just want to try something. No promises, but when Anthony was talking about his Christmas traditions from before, it just kind of broke my heart and since this will be his first Christmas without his mom…I just thought…you know…he might want Gus." And then for further explanation, she added, "I think my mom can fix him."

Edward stared up at the ceiling in silence. He remembered the way Anthony had spoken about his Christmas list and wondered if a trip to Port Angeles to see Santa would be any consolation for the lack of a big fancy mall with holiday décor. And then, once again, that tightening, gripping feeling in his chest appeared as he once again realized that he had no idea to give Anthony a good Christmas. Edward hadn't celebrated Christmas in years. He hadn't bought any presents, sent out any cards or attended any parties. It had always been more about the paid day off work than anything else. But now that had changed.

And now Bella wouldn't be here either to help him know what to do.

"I'd better get going," Bella whispered as she studied Edward silently.

After getting out of bed and tidying himself up, Edward snuck into Anthony's bedroom, where he was still sound asleep, and pulled the shoebox containing Gus off the shelf. When he returned downstairs, Bella was already standing at the front door, waiting for him.

"We're good, right?" he asked right before handing her the box and kissing her gently on the lips.

"We're good," Bella smiled. "But…just…nevermind."

If she was going to tell him to think about what she'd said about Esme, she didn't have to. For the coming weeks, Edward could do nothing _but _think about the little bit that she'd said and his mind raced with scenario after scenario. _There was a conviction? Who'd been convicted? Was it Jimmy? Had he been implicated in the shooting? Had he served time? _But even though there were questions, they remained unasked, because the probability of finding out more than he wanted to know was a risk too high to take.


	25. Chapter 25 Sign O' the Times

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 25 – Sign O' the Times**

It was odd, having a weekend day without Edward or Anthony, but Anthony had been whisked off to go fishing with 'Papa Charlie' almost as soon as Bella had told her father that Anthony was looking forward to it, and Bella felt obligated to spend her mother's last full day in Forks at Renee's beck and call. So while Charlie was down at the lake, Bella sat at her mother's feet, rolling a ball of yarn and talking about her mother's favorite subject: Bella's personal life.

"It seems really serious in a very short period of time, Bella," Renee said of Bella and Edward's relationship.

Bella sighed. She'd been expecting this subject to come up with her mother again. Renee had roughly broached it when she'd first arrived, but now that she'd had a chance to actually observe Edward and Bella more thoroughly, she was even more convinced of her viewpoint.

"What other way is there to be, Mother?" Bella asked tersely, the use of a formality a hint at her demeanor . "Edward and I aren't teenagers, and he and I both knew going into this that there was a lot at stake. I'm his son's teacher, for crying out loud. And not just any teacher – I'm his _first_ teacher. If we didn't plan to be serious, then we wouldn't be in a relationship."

Renee stilled her knitting hook and peered down at her daughter. "When did you get so grown up, eh?" she smiled.

Bella shrugged and smiled in return. "Real life does that to you, I guess."

"So have you two had many conversations then? About the future?" Renee asked.

Bella rolled her eyes. Marriage and grandchildren – that's exactly what her mother wanted to know about. "No. We're not there yet," she promised.

"Well however it turns out, I can promise you that your dad has grown right fond of young Mr. Anthony. I tell you, I haven't seen him this excited in years. Not since your graduation."

If her mother hadn't told her as much, Bella would have been able to see how attached her father was to Anthony that afternoon when they returned from their fishing trip.

"So there was this small hike to our fishing spot, and after we reached our spot, Anthony put his little pole down and wiped his hand across his brow, and you know what he said," Charlie asked, as if Bella could ever venture a correct guess.

"What?" Bella was already amused before hearing the punchline.

"He said, 'I'm 'sausted!'" Charlie cracked up. "It was so cute."

Anthony stood beside him beaming up at the adults as if he'd just won the national spelling bee.

"Well did you catch anything?" Bella asked.

"Papa Charlie caught a big fish and I got a pollywog!" Anthony exclaimed excitedly.

"A pollywog?" Bella asked, her question laced with pride. "You should bring that to school for show and tell."

"Okay!" Anthony peered into the bucket to make sure his new pet was alive and well. "Papa Charlie said it's going to turn into a frog."

"Uh-huh," Bella frowned a bit.

"He said you're afraid of frogs," Anthony grinned.

"Yes, well…we can have the _pollywog_ come to visit us. Once it turns into a frog, you're on your own," Bella said as she ruffled his hair.

Anthony seemed fine with that arrangement as he followed Charlie out onto Bella's small patio to lay out the gear they'd used for fishing.

Since it was their last day in town, Charlie and Renee treated Bella, Edward and Anthony to dinner at a small diner. Charlie and Edward made brief small talk, but it was obvious that Charlie was much more comfortable talking to Anthony, which didn't really matter since Renee usurped Edward's time with a sly interrogation.

Actually, it was only sly to her. Bella knew exactly what her mother was doing, and she was sure Edward did, too.

"So how long have you been at your job?" Renee asked.

"This one?" Edward clarified. "I've worked at the mill for years, but I've just recently started as a lead-man," Edward happened a glance at Bella. "Thanks to Bella."

"Bella helped you get the job?" Charlie looked over, suddenly interested in what Edward had to say.

"Sort of," Edward smiled as he put his hand on Bella's thigh underneath the table. "She made it possible for me to take the job. She keeps Anthony so I can do my shift."

"It's a good job then?" Renee pressed on. "Good pay and benefits and all that?"

"Mom!" Bella interjected. Her mother had always lacked that filter that let her know when she'd crossed the line of appropriateness.

"What?" Renee looked over at Bella innocently. "I'm just making conversation."

"You're prying," Bella told her.

Edward laughed as he looked between the two. "It pays the bills," he answered Renee vaguely, his way of assuaging both women.

After dinner, Bella and Edward trailed her parents, concealing their joined hands inside of Edward's jacket pocket. They looked on as Charlie gave Anthony a rollercoaster of a piggyback ride to Edward's car.

"He's been talking about your dad a lot," Edward nodded in Charlie's direction.

"My dad has really taken to him. I don't know who he's going to miss more when they leave tomorrow, me or Anthony," Bella smiled. Her words reminded her that she had something important to ask Edward.

"Oh, by the way," she began. "I forgot to mention that I have a sub tomorrow so that I can drive my parents to the airport. They took a shuttle when they flew in and it was way too expensive to do again. Plus I'd like to spend the last bit of time with them."

Edward frowned as he misunderstood what Bella was trying to say. "So you can't take Anthony tomorrow?"

"No, no," Bella stated quickly. "I wouldn't do that to you on such short notice…unless I was sick or something," she said. "Actually, I was wondering if you'd mind if I took Anthony along with me when I took my parents to the airport. He'd have to miss school, though."

"Oh, I don't care about that," Edward shrugged it off nonchalantly.

Bella raised her eyebrow at him.

"Not that school isn't important," Edward backpedaled. "I just know that he wouldn't suffer from missing one day. That's all I meant."

"Mmhmm," Bella eyed him dubiously.

"Anyway, I thought your parents drove here," Edward said. "They drove to your house."

"From Port Angeles, but they already turned in that rental," Bella clarified. "And are you kidding? My parents would kill each other if they spent that amount of time in a car together."

Edward simply looked over at Bella, and when she caught him looking, he offered a delayed smile.

Since Bella and Edward hadn't yet had _a certain _conversation with Anthony regarding where they stood, they made sure not to show any overt displays of affection as they situated themselves in their respective cars and parted for the night.

Just as planned, the next morning Edward brought Anthony over at his usual time, but without his backpack and lunchbox. Since there was little time to spare, Bella quickly followed Edward outside to his car where she gave him a quick, yet passionate kiss before returning to her apartment.

"Bella," her mother motioned quietly to her from the hall. It was obvious that she was trying to be quiet.

Once Bella joined her, Renee shoved a shoebox at her torso. Bella recognized the box as Gus's makeshift home.

"What's this?" Bella asked, not sure why she was whispering.

"Open it," Renee mouthed after glancing over her shoulder.

Bella peered into the box and gasped at what she saw. It was Gus…or Gus's twin.

"How'd you do this?" Bella asked excitedly.

"I almost didn't," Renee said. "You hardly gave me any time to fix this, but luckily I was able to take it down to the store in town and they had this yarn. Whomever made this used a fairly simple pattern so it wasn't too hard to duplicate. And since it was in pieces it was easy to see what it was stuffed with."

"It was his late grandmother who made it for him," Bella said solemnly as her fingers traced over her mother's work.

"Oh, that's right. You said that," Renee nodded. "Anyway, I wasn't sure if you had a plan on how to give this to him-"

"I think it would be a great Christmas present," Bella interjected.

Renee shrugged, but her facial expression revealed that she didn't agree. "I don't think you should try to pass it off as a replacement. I remember when you lost that pink stuffed mouse of yours when you were little and I tried to sneak in a new one when you were napping. It was a disaster. You ended up more upset by the new one than you were by losing the old one."

"I don't remember that," Bella stated with disinterest. "But I think Anthony would be really happy to have Gus back…or Gus number two."

"I think you should leave them both in the box and just kind of return the box to where it was. When he feels like he needs it, Edward can just hand it over and Anthony can do whatever he wants with what he finds inside."

Bella looked skeptical at the idea. She didn't want Anthony to resent the new toy, but she also didn't want him to feel obligated to accept it.

"Well whatever," Renee said, noticing Bella's indecision. "It's not like you have to decide today, I just wanted you to see that it was done."

Bella nodded. "Thanks, Mom. You did a great job."

Bella hid the shoebox on the top of the refrigerator before retrieving Anthony and the rest of her mother's small luggage.

In a matter of minutes they were on the road to Port Angeles.

And after a half hour, Bella pulled over to let her father drive because she couldn't handle her mother's constant criticisms of how she handled her truck on the road.

One and a half hours after that, Bella pulled into the lot of Fairchild International Airport and said a tearless goodbye to her parents. Anthony hugged Charlie goodbye and didn't grimace too much when Renee planted kiss after kiss across his face.

"So…Christmas?" Renee asked as Renee took a step back toward her car.

"I'll call you," was Bella's non-committal answer.

However, since she was in the city, Bella decided to take advantage of the voyage, and so she and Anthony spent the afternoon Christmas shopping in Port Angeles. By the time they made it back to Forks, Anthony was asleep and the Chinese take-out she'd brought back for Edward was cold and soggy.

"Sorry about dinner," Bella apologized fifteen minutes later when Edward walked through her front door.

"You didn't have to get me anything," he said, even though he was already diving into the carton with great interest.

"Well, we usually have dinner together and I didn't get back in time to make anything, so I just picked something up. Anthony really likes lumpia, by the way."

"What's that?" Edward questioned as he took a second look at what he was eating.

"It's sort of like an eggroll," then noticing what Edward was doing, she added, "there aren't any in there."

Bella watched him eat for a few moments, satisfied that he was satisfied with his meal. She glanced over at the clock and saw that it was getting late and yet Anthony was still asleep.

"I'd better get Anthony up if you want any hope of getting him to sleep tonight," Bella said. She made a motion to exit, but Edward grabbed her wrist and stopped her.

"Hang on," he said as he took a sip of water with his free hand. Then he stood up to face her and pulled her closer. "Give him a few more minutes."

"Why?" Bella asked.

"Because that's all I'll need," Edward smiled, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

"Oh, you!" Bella swatted at him playfully.

"C'mon," he whimpered into her ear. "It's been a while…"

"It's been a day and a half," Bella corrected.

"See? Even you've been counting," Edward turned her words around. Bella couldn't help but laugh and it was evident that the fight she was putting up was a weak one at best. She had no intention of refusing him.

"If Anthony wakes up during…how are we going to explain you coming out of my bedroom?" Bella reasoned.

"He's seen me in your bedroom before," Edward responded. "Besides, who said we had to go in the bedroom?"

And that's how Bella found herself behind the locked door of her bathroom with Edward frantically pawing at her half-clothed body.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you today," Edward panted against Bella's chest as he kissed along the edge of her bra. "About kissing you and tasting you and…being with you…"

The desperation in his voice was desire-evoking and Bella found herself wanting him just as badly. She kissed him deeply as he clawed at the snap on her jeans, and once he'd unsnapped them, he wasted no time in plunging his hand inside her underwear.

Bella wasted no time in repeated the motion: pulling at Edward's shirttail and freeing him from the confines of his pants.

"Shit," he murmured into her mouth as she stroked him. "Baby, I'm not gonna last…"

Without another word, Bella stepped out of her jeans and underwear and Edward backed her up against the door and positioned himself for entry.

"Uuuhhh," Bella moaned as he filled her. But then she remembered the little boy sleeping just across the hall and she attempted to quiet herself down, but it wasn't easy, with the way Edward was gripping her, thrusting in and out fervently.

"I'm really close," Edward said, breathlessly.

Bella shifted infinitesimally and Edward let out a loud groan as he finished inside of her.

"Sorry," he said guiltily.

"For what?" Bella asked. She kissed him softly once more as she inconspicuously eyed his nakedness. _So beautiful…_

"Did you?" Edward asked.

Bella knew what he meant, and she shook her head no. "But I'm good," she said. And she was. At the end of the long day, it was just nice to be close to Edward, connected in a way that they shared with no other person.

But even though Bella was content with her lack of orgasm, Edward was not. He slipped his fingers between her legs and taunted and teased until she joined him in a post-coital afterglow.

Edward exited first, leaving Bella alone to freshen up and hide all traces of what exactly they'd been doing in the bathroom.

Bella was startled to see Anthony sitting on the sofa staring at the wall when she appeared in the living room minutes later. Edward knelt down on the floor in front of him and when his eyes met hers, she could tell by his expression that something was not good.

"He thought we'd left him," Edward explained.

"It was dark in there when I woke up and I couldn't find anybody," Anthony said. His eyes were glossy from unshed tears.

"Oh, Honey," Bella rushed to his side and enveloped Anthony in a hug. "I'm so sorry you were scared. We would never leave you by yourself. You know that, don't you?"

Anthony shook his head no. He most certainly did not know that. "I called for Daddy but he didn't come."

"I'm here now, buddy," Edward said soothingly.

"Where were you?" Anthony asked.

"In the bathroom," Edward said.

Suddenly Anthony burst into tears and Bella noted how flabbergasted Edward looked at the sight of it. She tried to pull Anthony into her lap and he fought against her. Bewildered, Bella let him alone and motioned for Edward to take over, but Anthony was just as resistant with his father as he'd been with Bella.

"Sweetheart," Bella rubbed his back comfortingly. "It's okay. You don't have to be afraid anymore." She patted and rubbed his little leg in pacification…and that's when she felt it.

Anthony had wet his pants.

"Ooh, honey, I think you spilled something on your pants. Do you want to go in the bathroom and take them off? I think we have some more pants for you in the blue room," Bella said. If there was one thing she knew, it was that little kindergarten boys didn't like to be called on the carpet about their accidental-potty issues.

Anthony sniffed and nodded his head. He scooted off the couch and scampered down the hall to the bathroom.

"He peed his pants?" Edward asked.

Bella nodded. "Does he always do that when he's scared?"

Edward shrugged and nodded at the same time. "I think so."

"We have to tell him, Edward," Bella whispered. "About us."

Edward's eyes trailed down the hall after Anthony. "He's so little. Do you think he'll even understand? I mean, what do we say? Are you even supposed to tell a five-year-old that you're sleeping with someone?"

Bella looked up at him sharply. "Is that all we are…to you?"

"No! No, of course not," Edward said quickly as he jumped up and took a seat next to Bella on the couch. "Babe, that is _not_ what I meant. I just meant…you know…how much do we tell him?"

Anthony returned before Bella could answer that question, and the couple temporarily shelved the issue between them. But much like the rest of their relationship, circumstances propelled them along and forced them up the next rung in their relationship.

It all started innocently enough.

With her parent's gone, Bella's routine returned to normal. She got up early in the morning, greeted Anthony when Edward dropped him off, and the two of them made their way to Forks Elementary School, where they spent the first half of the day learning and playing. Afterward, they'd retreat back to Bella's apartment where Edward would join them for an evening meal before taking Anthony home.

On Wednesday, Edward had had a hard day at work. He was tired and grumpy and completely not in the mood to be social. For that reason, Bella offered to keep Anthony overnight.

Reluctantly, Edward agreed.

"Call me if he says he wants to come home. I'll come get him," Edward said.

Bella wanted to ask Edward to stay as well, but he didn't suggest it, and she knew that he could tell he really needed the break to just have a bit of time to himself and get some rest. Fortunately Anthony made it through the night with little problem. There was one bad dream and a dash to the bathroom, but after that, all was well and he didn't mind much that he had a full day of school before he'd see his father again. In fact, he was all smiles and giggles for most of the day.

So when Bella stopped by the office during the last recess of the day and overheard Mrs. Walden, the art teacher, lamenting over having to contend with Anthony the next day in art class, Bella just knew she couldn't possibly be speaking about Anthony Cullen; because the description of a disagreeable, tantrum-throwing, stubborn and disruptive child certainly didn't describe _her_ Anthony.

Yet on Friday afternoon, Mrs. Walden proved that that was exactly whom she was describing.

It had been an especially tiring day. Bella's students were unable to focus in anticipation of the coming holiday, and the red and green décor all over the windows and the various Christmas crafts Bella had the children doing didn't help matters. By the time she'd turned all eighteen of her students over to Mrs. Walden for the kindergarten art class, Bella was exhausted. She kicked off her shoes underneath her desk and rested her head in her hands for a brief moment.

That's when she heard it.

A loud, high-pitched caterwauling became blaring apparent as it landed right outside the door of Bella's classroom. Suddenly, Mrs. Walden stormed in, practically dragging a very distraught and frightened looking Anthony along with her.

"What's going on?" Bella jumped out of her seat and hastened over to where they stood.

"This one's going to the principal's office," a flustered Mrs. Walden announced. "I have had it! Enough is enough, Anthony! Do you hear me?" Then she turned to Bella. "I just came over here to see if he had any extra clothes. He stood right in the middle of the room and peed. He stared right at me and just wet himself. He didn't even ask to go to the bathroom."

Bella was only halfway listening to what Mrs. Walden had to say. Most of her attention was focused on little Anthony, and the look on his face that was reminiscent of the night she'd picked him up from Vicki's house.

"Come here, baby," Bella held her arms open to Anthony. He collapsed into them and she held him close, paying no mind to his wet pants.

"He's going to the principal," Mrs. Walden reiterated as if Bella hadn't heard her.

"What happened?" Bella asked over Anthony's shoulder.

Mrs. Walden shifted her weight to one foot and crossed her arms. "We've been working on a Christmas project since before Thanksgiving so the children would have it in time to give to their parents. Everything was going fine," Mrs. Walden paused to frown at Anthony, "until I had the children bring pictures from home for their project. I got pictures from everybody but _him,"_ she pointed.

Bella looked perplexed. She had never sent home a request for photos for any of the students in her class, nor had she seen a request from Mrs. Walden.

"I never sent anything home requesting pictures in my weekly letters," Bella said.

"I did. I mailed a letter and then I phoned," Mrs. Walden said. "I did it myself so that it would be very discreet. This project is supposed to be a surprise."

"Well what if they didn't get your message?"

"I thought that too, at first. But it's evident that he just doesn't want to do the art project. Whenever we start on it, he gets down under the table and he won't come out. Today, my aide tried to make him come out and he kicked her! You know we cannot tolerate that kind of behavior. If he kicks a teacher he goes to the principal."

Anthony was fully sobbing by this point. Bella looked down at him and asked him why he kicked a teacher, but his speech was broken by the bout of crying. "I want my mommy!" he finally said.

Bella felt a tightening deep in her belly as she knew Anthony's request was one that could not be easily fulfilled.

And then suddenly she remembered the conversation where Anthony had said that he didn't like art class and how Mrs. Walden wanted him to use "bad" pictures.

"Jan, can I ask, what, exactly, is the project?" Bella asked softly.

"It's a family wreath. I had the kids bring a picture of each of their parents and any siblings or grandparents if they had them…" Mrs. Walden trailed off when she saw the disturbing expression on Bella's face. "What?"

"Maybe you should read his file before you make anymore decisions about discipline," Bella suggested. She couldn't go into further detail; not with Anthony within earshot.

Mrs. Walden raised her eyebrows at that idea. "Why? Is there something…I should know?"

Bella simply nodded and drew Anthony closer. "I'll explain later, but for right now, why don't I keep him with me so you can go finish up with the rest of the class."

Mrs. Walden tossed another glance in Anthony's direction before walking toward the door. "Is it something serious?"

"You probably should read his cumulative record," Bella said as she indicated with her eyes that it would be inappropriate to say anything further.

Mrs. Walden agreed and left the classroom soon after, finally giving Bella the ability to give all her attention to the very upset little boy in front of her.

"It's okay, Anthony. If you don't want to do the art project, you don't have to," Bella said as she stroked his back.

"I—w-want—my—mo-mommy," he heaved.

"Ssshh, it's okay," Bella hugged him. "How about we call your dad, huh? Let's do that."

"I want m-my m-mommy!" Anthony cried harder.

Bella rushed to her desk and called Edward. She'd woken him from a deep sleep and it took her several attempts before he understood that he needed to come down to the school with a fresh set of underwear and pants for Anthony.

"Daddy's coming," Bella told Anthony as soon as she'd gotten off the phone. But Anthony was unresponsive. He simply kept crying and asking for his mother.

And it didn't get any better once Edward arrived.

"I think I'm just going to take him home," Edward said when Anthony had been reduced to a series of shuddering breaths, no longer able to bear tears.

"Edward…I'm worried," Bella whispered softly. "I've never seen him like this."

Just then, the principal, Mr. Schwartz, walked into Bella's classroom. He seemed to know exactly what he was looking for and Bella figured Mrs. Walden had given him a tip-off.

"Everything all right in here?" he asked as he looked Anthony over. "I heard there was a bit of commotion in art class today."

"He's gonna be fine," Edward spoke up quickly. It was evident that he just wanted to take Anthony as far away from there as possible. But Bella was worried that Edward wasn't seeing this for what it really was. Mrs. Walden's assignment had triggered Anthony and whatever had set him off was not going to be easily undone.

"Miss Swan told you what happened, then?" Mr. Schwartz asked Edward directly. "You know that he kicked a teacher?"

Edward looked over at Bella in amazement. "He kicked you?"

"Not me, the teacher's aide during art." Bella felt the need to defend the reason that she'd not briefed Edward on the entire situation. "He just got here," she told the principal. "We haven't really had a chance to talk yet."

Mr. Schwartz nodded, but went on anyway. "I've had the opportunity to get a little acquainted with Anthony's file, so I know little bit of his background. There's a really good child psychologist a district over who would probably be more than willing to see Anthony on short notice with a referral from me."

"What the- are you serious?" Edward asked agitatedly.

"Mr. Cullen?" Mr. Schwartz took a confused step back.

"What is it with you guys and your head shrinkers? You think that's the answer to everything." Edward shook his head with disgust and walked away from Mr. Schwartz and Bella. He walked Anthony over to the single-stall bathroom and ushered him inside to change his clothes.

Bella felt her principal's eyes on her and she looked up at him and shrugged. "I'll talk to him," she said quietly. "We have a….good rapport."

"You know the school'sl policy on these types of things," Mr. Schwartz whispered back. "I cannot have students going around kicking teachers and getting off without a consequence. But we've never had any issue with Anthony before-"

"He's a good boy, Dan. He really is. He's just been through a lot and whatever Mrs. Walden said seems to have triggered something," Bella said.

"Yes, well, it's not the teacher's fault for simply teaching her lesson. If this is the result whenever he hears something he doesn't like, then his dad needs to get him some help." Mr. Schwartz's tone was final.

Of course Bella understood that Principal Schwartz didn't know or love Anthony in the way that she did. His main concern was keeping his staff safe, happy and at work and anything that got in the way of that was something to be dealt with – and quickly.

As soon as Mr. Schwartz left, after leaving a card for the psychologist he referenced, Bella walked over to Edward.

"How's he doing?" she nodded toward the closed bathroom stall.

"He's fine. He's probably just tired. He hasn't been sleeping that well," Edward made light of it. "I'm just gonna take him home and let him get some rest. He'll be fine."

"Why hasn't he been sleeping?" Bella asked.

Edward looked at her blankly, as if he'd let something slip that he hadn't meant to. He turned away from Bella and knocked on the door.

It opened to reveal Anthony sitting on the floor, still in his wet clothes, staring at the wall.

"Anthony, honey, don't sit on the floor. It's dirty," Bella said as she reached down to pull him up.

"Mommy…" he whimpered weakly.

Bella looked up at Edward.

"He's fine," he snapped as he reached over her and picked up Anthony. "Change your pants, Anthony, so we can go home."

After a moment of hesitation, Anthony complied.

"Edward, maybe you should think about what Mr. Schwartz said," Bella offered, holding the card out to him. "It can't hurt."

"Bella, how many kids do you have?" Edward snapped.

"Eighteen," she said without missing a beat.

"You know what I meant, and it's not the same thing," he argued. "You guys think everything needs a doctor. Maybe he's just tired. Ever think of that?" Edward didn't wait for a response. He picked Anthony up and hurried out of the classroom, leaving a stupefied Bella in his wake.

"_You guys?"_ she muttered to the empty classroom.

By the time Bella had finished her day, she had a pounding headache. She tried calling Edward but he didn't answer. Instinctively she knew it wasn't because he wasn't available. For some odd reason he was avoiding her, and though she didn't quite understand why, something deep within wouldn't allow her to take it personal. Both Edward and Anthony seemed to be going through something and maybe they would work it out on their own and be all the better for it.

However, as that thought crossed Bella's mind, she couldn't help remembering the hollowed look in Anthony's eyes as he'd cried out for a mother that could never respond.

Dampness pricked Bella's eyes and she reached up to swipe at the insistent tears. So badly she wanted to go to Anthony, but he wasn't yearning for her and apparently neither was his father. For now, they were both shutting her out.

Bella tried not to allow that thought to hinder her as she went home to prepare for her last full week of school prior to the Christmas break. Rosalie stopped by and they shared a frozen pizza for dinner and talked idly about their day. Bella was careful not to mention the issue she'd experienced with Edward and Anthony and Rosalie seemed to be holding back something as well. Still, it was nice to be in the presence of another and forget, if for just a little while.

But as Bella sauntered to her bed in the night's darkness, all of her thoughts pointed to Anthony and his father, the man she loved. Finally she allowed herself to come to grips with what she was really feeling. She didn't want to be shut out. She didn't want to be a spectator. She wanted to help and comfort and soothe. But she knew she couldn't insert herself of her own accord. She'd have to be invited.

And, fortunately, that invitation came in the form of a telephone call at eleven minutes after midnight.

"I fucked up," Edward simply said when she answered the phone.

"No, you didn't," Bella immediately responded, even though she didn't know exactly what he was referencing.

"This is all my fucking fault. I did it. I made him…like that," Edward spoke into the phone sounding like a very broken man.

Bella sat up in her bed and rubbed her eyes. "What happened? Where's Anthony? Is he okay?"

"Yeah. He finally fell asleep like twenty minutes ago."

"So it didn't get better after you brought him home from school?"

Edward sighed. "He stopped crying and I had him go lay down, but he didn't sleep. He just laid there. Then he kept asking for Gus and I can't find the fuckin' thing."

"I have it. Remember?" Bella asked. "My mother copied what was there and made him a new one. I was going to ask you how you wanted to give it to him, but life got in the way and I forgot about it. I'm sorry."

"_You're_ apologizing to me? Funny." Edward let out a low chuckle. "I probably would have gotten some sleep if I'd called you earlier."

"Yeah, but you were too busy avoiding me," Bella confronted him.

There was a pause of silence before Edward said, "Bella, I…don't know what the hell I'm doing. Every time I think I know what Anthony might need, I'm fucking wrong."

"That's not true, Edward."

"It is, fuckin' true. "I think I caused all of this." There was a hint of anger to Edward's tone as he spoke. "I got this letter from the school telling me to send pictures for a top-secret art project or some shit like that. Anyway, it pissed me off because they just assume that everyone has that shit, you know? I mean, the only pictures I have of Anthony are the ones in my phone from this year. I don't have baby pictures – I don't even have baby pictures of me!

"So I just ignored that letter but then last week you said something about Christmas and making new traditions and so I figured that's what Anthony needed. I went out and got a fake tree and some decorations – that shit is expensive, by the way. Anyway, when Anthony saw it and he started acting a little weird. It wasn't a big deal at first, just little things. He had to be in the same room as me at all times, he was whiny; he wanted to sleep in my bed, that kind of stuff. Then he kept wetting his pants, like two times a day. And then he started asking for his mom. At first I ignored it, figuring he was just working through something. But he did it more and more, and he started calling out for her at night. I remember that Jessica was really into Christmas. I think it reminds him of her."

"Well, and it is his first Christmas without her. That's a big deal," Bella said. "Did you try to talk to him about it? Encourage him to talk about his mother?"

"I don't know how to do that, Bella. I'll probably end up making things worse," Edward confessed. "It's like a cursed legacy. My dad fucked up my life and now I'm fuckin' up Anthony's. And now you guys want me to take him to some shrink to tell him exactly that."

"First of all, stop saying 'you guys'. It's like you've drawn some line in the sand and you're forcing me on the other side simply because I work at the school. Stop acting like I'm nothing more than a bureaucrat.

"Secondly, what Anthony is going through is not your fault. He's a little boy that suffered a very traumatic experience. Nobody should understand that better than you, Edward, and you had seven entire years on Anthony when your life changed so drastically, and you felt utterly unprepared. Imagine how he feels. Honestly, I'm surprised that he's done as well as he has for this long."

"What d'ya mean? You knew something was going to happen?"

"Well I didn't _know._ Everyone's different, but in my child psychology class we did study how traumatic events in the lives of children often have consequences to behavior and sometimes…development."

"Bel, I can't…how am I supposed to know what to do?"

"All you have to know, Edward, is when you've reached the end of yourself. That's when you let someone else come along side you and help out."

"You mean you?"

"I'll be there for you, Edward, of course, but I don't mean me, no. I meant…well I think you should get Anthony some counseling. Let someone else help him out of the prison of his thoughts so that you can focus on being 'Dad'. That's what's most important right now."

"I got sent to all those head doctors when I was a kid and they didn't help me a single bit," Edward said bitterly.

"But Anthony has the one thing you didn't, Edward, and that's the love and guidance of a father to protect him and assure him during this time. You'll make sure his experience is different from yours."

Bella held her breath while Edward contemplated her words on the other end of the phone line.

"Do you know that person they want him to see?" Edward's voice quietly broke through the silence.

"I've spoken to her a couple times. She seems very nice. She's very professional and seems to love what she does," Bella answered. "Just try it out, Edward. It's not binding. If you take Anthony to see her and you don't think it's helpful, don't go back or find someone new. But for goodness sakes…don't let Anthony deal with this on his own."

"Why can't you do it? You seem to know everything," Edward said lightly.

Bella wasn't sure if he was giving her a compliment or simply trying to avoid moving forward in this area, but she answered him nonetheless. "I _don't_ have all the answers here. And you saw Anthony, today. He wouldn't respond to me. He needs more than what I'm equipped to give him."

"So what if they want him to go to some special school or they think he should go live with someone else or-"

"Edward, it's not like that at all. You are the father. You are in control. If they suggest _anything_ that you don't agree with, that's it. You don't have to do it. And unless there is neglect, abuse or negligent behavior, which there isn't, no one is going to take Anthony away from you. What he's going through is outside of you – it's beyond you. If he had a broken leg, you wouldn't try to set it on your own would you?"

"Of course not."

"Okay then. This is just a different kind of doctor that he needs to see. Take him," Bella issued boldly.

"Yes ma'am."

Bella giggled and soon after she heard a light chortle from Edward.

"Thanks," he said.

"What for?"

"Talking me down."

"Anytime. I told you, I'm here for you, Edward. And I will be, as long as you'll let me in."

Edward lowered his voice and whispered, "If you come here, I promise to let you in."

At first Bella thought it was a bad attempt at a joke, but she laughed in spite of it. It had been a heavy conversation and she was happy to end it on a lighter note.

But then Edward indicated that he was not joking around. "Will you?"

"Come over?" Bella clarified.

"Yeah."

The clock on Bella's bedside table said one-fifteen. It was cold and rainy outside and her hair was still damp from her shower. She was wearing a very unattractive pair of flannel pajama bottoms and was braless underneath a faded New Kids on the Block t-shirt that she'd uncovered at a thrift store.

But who was she kidding? None of that actually mattered.

"I'm on my way."


	26. Chapter 26 Leave Me Alone

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 26 – Leave Me Alone**

Edward's leg pumped up and down repetitively as his eyes darted around the serenely decorated room. Anthony was standing against the opposite wall, his nose nearly plastered to a large dome-shaped fish tank filled with exotic marine life.

"You don't think we should put this off 'til after Christmas?" Edward whispered to Bella. "Anthony seems to be doing okay now," though Edward neglected to tell Bella that Anthony had had an accident only the night before. He wasn't completely convinced that it had anything to do with his emotions. He'd let him have a cup of water before bedtime.

Regardless, Bella didn't engage his line of reasoning. She simply patted his leg to still his movement and smiled over at Anthony.

"He loves the fish tank. Maybe you should get him one. They're pretty low maintenance," she said.

Edward openly scoffed. "Another mouth to feed," he muttered. Bella grimaced at him but didn't say a word.

As the time passed, Edward felt a constricting sensation in his chest, and he struggled to get comfortable in the chair that seemed both too big and too small, too firm, yet too soft.

"I'm gonna go out and get some air," Edward said, suddenly longing for his long-abandoned habit of smoking.

"That's probably a good idea," Bella said. It was the only indication she gave that she had noticed that Edward was coming apart at the seams. "But Edward…"

Edward waited until his hand was on the door before he turned to see what she was going to say.

"…stay close, okay? I'll come get you when they call Anthony," she offered.

Edward shrugged. "Yeah, I won't be gone that long. I just need a little air." Yet despite his words, he was still out on the second-floor veranda when Bella poked her head out the door.

"They're ready for him," she whispered.

With a gruff sigh, Edward pushed off the wall he was leaning on and followed Bella back inside. She gave him a supportive smile as she settled back in the chair with a magazine while Edward took Anthony by the hand and walked him up to a tall woman with long spiral-curled brown hair.

"Hello, Anthony," the woman said as she bent down so that she was eye-level with Anthony. "My name is Leisel and I'm so glad to meet you. I've read a lot of wonderful things about you. I understand that your favorite color is blue." She paused for Anthony to nod in agreement. "Guess what? That's my favorite color, too."

Anthony grinned. "You have hair like Miss Bella," he said.

"Oh really?" Leisel smiled, though her eyes momentarily darted over to Edward. "Miss Bella? Is that your babysitter?"

Anthony nodded. "And my teacher," Anthony said as he pointed over to where Bella was seated.

"Oh…I hadn't realized you brought his teacher along." Leisel's eyes were imploring as she sought an explanation from Edward.

"Yeah…it's…there's more to it than that…" and though it was clear that Leisel thought he was going to say more, Edward offered nothing else.

After an awkward show of who-was-opening-the-door-for-whom, Edward followed Leisel as she led Anthony through the door, down a hall and into a large office off to the right. There was a large train table in the corner and Anthony was drawn to it immediately.

"Since we're seeing one another on such short notice, we haven't had the opportunity to follow my usual protocol," Leisel began in a voice low enough that Anthony wouldn't overhear every word. "Usually, you and I would meet first, in a consultation. Considering how you felt after that, I'd meet with both you and Anthony, simply so that he can see us converse and feel safe in the environment, and then he and I would begin to meet one-on-one; but since the school expressed a concern with his recent reaction to trauma…" Leisel stopped short when Edward became visibly disturbed at her use of the word 'trauma'. "Is there a problem, Mr. Cullen?"

"He didn't like a project. I hardly think trauma is the right word," Edward sighed.

"I was referring to the loss of his mother and grandparents – his primary caretakers," Leisel clarified.

"He didn't lose his grandfather. He's still living," Edward corrected. His tone was short.

"So Anthony still gets to see him, then?" Leisel sat back in her chair, as if she was pleased with this discovery.

"Well…no."

"Then, to a five-year-old boy, it is still a loss, Mr. Cullen."

"Hrrmph," was Edward's only response, before looking over at Anthony. He could feel the therapist's eyes on him, but he was already tired of her.

"So, Mr. Cullen, if you don't mind, I'd like to have a little chat with Anthony, but I'd like you to stay in the room. Maybe sit at that table over there?" Leisel pointed. While still courteous, her voice had lost its friendly lilt.

"If he wants to talk to you, that's fine," Edward said as he began to stand up. "But I'm not going to make him."

"Of course not," Leisel agreed.

Edward was hoping that Anthony would be resistant to the idea of speaking to a stranger, then he and his son could get the hell out of there. However, much to his chagrin, Anthony didn't seem to mind when Leisel beckoned him over to a small table that housed a mountain of building blocks.

"Sure…bribe him with toys…" Edward muttered under his own breath. If Leisel heard any disturbance, she gave no indication of such.

Though it was clear that Leisel was directing her questions and attention to Anthony, Edward leaned forward on his knees and did his best to hear every word that was passed between the two. He rolled his eyes in boredom as Leisel asked Anthony to draw a picture of a house. When Anthony complied, she asked him if he'd drawn his house, and when he nodded, she asked him if it was the house that he lived in now.

Edward thought it was the stupidest line of questioning he'd ever heard. If Anthony drew his house, of course it was the house he currently lived in! Did she think his son was dumb or something? _Where did this woman go to school?_

But Anthony defied his father's logic, for he shook his head no…

"Is this the house you used to live in?" Leisel pressed.

Anthony nodded. "My grandma and grandpa's house."

"Wow. You have a lot of detail here," Leisel didn't even have to pretend to be impressed. "Is this your bedroom window?" she pointed.

"No, that's in the living room," Anthony laughed as if she should have known.

"And what's this?"

"That's a ramp for Grandpa's wheelie chair."

"Do you miss this house, Anthony?"

Again, Anthony gestured in the affirmative.

"Would you like to draw some people for this house?"

Anthony reached for a crayon and then withdrew his hand. He shook his head. "Nobody lives there now."

"Where is everyone?"

Edward objected to the way Leisel asked, as if she didn't know. _These therapists were so dishonest._

"Grandma's in heaven with Mommy." Anthony sighed.

"And Grandpa?"

Anthony shrugged.

"He's in a home in Oregon," Edward piped up from where he sat. Leisel nodded, but then pointed to Anthony, her expression indicating that she wanted to hear from him, _not_ Edward.

"Anthony, would it be alright with you if your dad waited in the lobby with your teacher and you and I had a little talk?"

"About what?" Anthony frowned.

"We can talk about whatever you want to talk about. We can talk about school or your favorite cartoon, or what you want for Christmas-"

"A train! I want a train for Christmas; one that goes all by itself. And then I want a Bumblebee robot. Taylor is getting Optimus Prime and if I get Bumblebee then we can have a team."

Leisel nodded throughout the disclosure. "So, it's okay if your dad waits outside while we talk?" Before Anthony could complete bobbing his head, they were interrupted.

"Wait," Edward objected, "I was told that I didn't have to do that. I don't want him to think he has to talk if he doesn't want to."

"That's right, you don't have to. But if you're worried about what Anthony wants, he just indicated that he is okay with that. Sometimes children feel freer to discuss subjects when they aren't worried about how their words will be interpreted."

Edward stared at Leisel in dogmatic silence. _Who did she think she was, implying that Anthony would worry about how Edward was going to interpret his words, when in truth, it was Leisel that he should be leery of!_

"Buddy, do you want me to stay?" Edward asked Anthony.

"No, that's okay," Anthony answered.

Edward hated the betrayed defeat that he felt and refused to look at Leisel for the smug response that he knew was there. "Okay, well…I'm just going to be on the other side of the door. And you don't have to talk about anything you don't want to, okay?"

"Okay." The expression on Anthony's face revealed that he was unaware of the silent war that his father was waging with the woman who was hoping to be called his therapist.

And just like that, Edward was a sullen sixteen-year-old boy, slumped down in the corner of a musty room with pale-green walls and wire-wrapped windows.

_"Edward, I understand that circumstances beyond your control placed you here, but that doesn't mean you have no control over how you allow this situation to shape you. You can rise from this, Edward, and I can help you, if you'll let me."_

_Angry eyes shifted away from the young woman offering a symbolic hand. A chest covered by crisscrossed arms and a mouth that offered no response completed the role of a jaded young boy who had heard it all before. _

_And the young therapist, eager to put her recently earned degree to good use, struggled at the rejection of her olive branch. Before long, her eyes matched those of the youth before her: empty, dull…hopeless._

The memory was fresh in his mind as Edward stalked out of the room. He didn't utter another word until he all but threw himself in the chair next to Bella.

"This is bullshit," he said.

Bella looked immediately worried. "Why? What happened? Where's Anthony?"

"She wanted to talk to him without me. What kind of shit is that? What is she saying to him that she doesn't want me to hear?"

"I think the point is to allow him to say things he may need to say, but won't because _he_ doesn't want you to hear," Bella explained.

Even though, on a cognitive level, Edward knew that Bella wasn't siding against him, that's exactly how it felt. And so, for the remainder of Anthony's absence, Edward silently brooded in his chair. After a few failed attempts to start a conversation, Bella left him alone.

The half an hour it took before Leisel guided Anthony back over to Edward and Bella felt like a lifetime.

"Mr. Cullen, may I have a moment of your time?" Leisel asked in a professional tone. Edward followed after her without any fanfare. He had a few things he wanted to say to her, himself.

"That is one sweet little boy you've got there," she said as she shut the door and encased herself and Edward into a false sense of privacy. There was a glass wall behind Leisel that allowed a panel of administrative assistants to view Edward's every move.

"Yeah," was his only reply.

"He's very articulate, too."

"Mmhm." Edward's gaze was curt and uninviting. Leisel got the message loud and clear.

"Mr. Cullen, you obviously have some reservations about bringing Anthony here today, so I want to start out by commending you for doing so. A lot of times, parents will notice their children's cries for help but neglect to do anything about it. I'm glad you didn't ignore Anthony's."

Edward detected a set-up, and so he didn't respond. He didn't nod, he didn't blink; he didn't move. He wasn't going to indicate that something was wrong with Anthony, anymore than the school had already disclosed.

And the school was exactly the entity that had provided Leisel with most of the ammunition she was using to build a case for her services in Anthony's regard.

"You mentioned Anthony's teacher. Did you bring her along in a professional regard, because if you'd like me to speak with her-"

"No."

"No?"

"No. Bella and I are friends. I mean…I'll tell her what you say. You don't have to."

"Okay, but as his teacher, there are a few things that she should probably know."

"She doesn't have a problem with Anthony. He loves her."

"Yes, I gathered that from our conversation. He feels very safe with her. That's good."

Edward looked over to find Leisel's penetrating gaze on him. "May I speak freely, Mr. Cullen?"

Edward shrugged, not really giving permission, but resigning himself to the idea.

"I think Anthony will get through this unscathed as long as the necessary precautions are taken. He's showing great strength for a person who has experienced such a feat at such a young age. He seems to regard you highly and, I suspect, up until this point, has been enamored with the process of getting to know you. But as he adopts this new routine, the void left by his mother's passing is going to become more prominent. On a positive note, it signifies that Anthony is _living_ and not merely surviving. He's paying attention to what's around him, digging in and partaking. Unfortunately, that's going to serve as a constant reminder of what he's lost.

"For instance, when I asked him about the Christmas project at school, he became upset when he had to admit how it made him feel- that everyone else had pictures except for him."

"We don't have pictures," Edward said as he cleared his throat.

"That's not uncommon," Leisel said quickly. "And in Anthony's situation, this won't be the last time that something like this occurs. But it doesn't have to be so dire. I can give you a few tools that can help you."

"Like what?"

"Well, one of the first things I'd suggest is partnering with the school to decrease the amount of projects or assignments that come his way that require Anthony to revisit his loss. While it's not a bad thing to face this issue, there is a time and a place, and school isn't always the best venue," she said. "Stay in constant communication with the school to know ahead of time what they're planning so that you can better prepare Anthony for what to expect. The better prepared he is, the less likely he is to have an emotional outburst."

Most of the conversation went that way. Edward said little, and Leisel compensated by providing Edward with the information she thought he should have, whether he wanted it or not.

He signed an agreement that would allow her to share her observation with the school and then purposely neglected to committ to whether or not he would bring Anthony back for another visit. The only thing Edward had succeeded in making abundantly clear as he crossed the lobby back toward Bella and Anthony was that he didn't like therapists. Not one bit.

"Do you want me to drive?" Bella offered as the three made their way toward the parking lot.

"I can drive," Edward grumped. "Unless you think there's something wrong with the way I drive."

"Nope, just offering," Bella said lightly. She held Anthony's hand tightly as they walked their path, laughing and commenting on his little boy antics.

The ride back to Edward's house was uncharacteristically silent. After Anthony had gotten bored from counting houses with Christmas lights, he settled down and drifted off to sleep. Bella occupied herself with the view outside the car window. Although Edward was surprised that she wasn't peppering him with questions about what the therapist said, he was grateful for her lack of loquaciousness. Secretly, Edward was harboring resentment at the fact that Bella had driven her truck over to his house to accompany the Cullens to Anthony's first appointment. It meant that he wouldn't be able to drop her off at her place, make up some random reason of why he couldn't stick around and then jet off to wallow in his bitterness and contempt. Instead, he'd have to bring her back to his place, she'd linger, and Edward would have to put forth the effort of hiding his bad temper – a characteristic that he was very bad at hiding.

Just as he'd dreaded, Bella followed Edward and a barely awake Anthony into the house and put down her purse. She was planning to stay awhile.

Anthony announced his appetite as Edward stalked up the stairs. He could hear Bella opening and shutting cabinet doors and whatever she offered Anthony resulted in a rousing acceptance. Edward felt like a monumental jerk for holing himself up in his room and leaving Bella to tend to his son's needs.

But he knew himself, and he knew the alternative. If he stayed down there, he'd only say something he'd regret, they'd argue, which he'd regret more, and then he would have to hope and pray that Bella didn't get sick of his shit and give him his walking papers.

So for now, being an inmate of his own making was the least of his concerns.

Edward laid on his bed and stared up at the ceiling as if it housed the answers to questions he couldn't quite formulate. Time seemed to float around him, indistinctly. He heard more clanks of kitchenware, water running in the bathroom, splashes against the tub tile, giggles in the bedroom down the hall, a tiny voice requesting the illumination of the hall light and then nothing.

After awhile, his bedroom door creaked open and Bella crept over to his bed and laid down beside him. She still said nothing, but looked up at the ceiling as if she was joining in on a movie that was showing there, already in progress.

In that moment, Edward realized what Bella was doing. He didn't know exactly when he'd begun to figure out her character traits, but he knew that she was waiting him out; letting him know that she was there for him without being pushy or demanding. He wanted to thank her for being there and apologize for not being able to adequately display his gratitude, but when he opened his mouth, all that came out was:

"What the hell kind of name is Leisel? It sounds like some kind of skin disorder."

Bella's only reaction was to snuggle up closer to him. She leaned her head down and kissed his shoulder. Instead of wrap his arm tight around her, Edward continued his tirade.

"She tried that reverse psychology bullshit on me, too. Like I'm some idiot," Edward all but spat. "_I know you don't like being here, but I commend you for putting Anthony first,"_ he mimicked.

Bella rubbed her hand up and down his arm slowly. She said nothing. Edward went on.

"I mean, she acted like there was something _wrong_ with Anthony. Like he was screwed up or something. And I had to sit there and act like those were just simple questions he was answering. He was fucking laughing and smiling at her, all the while having no clue that she was just hunting for words that she could use against him. I mean…I should have stopped that shit, right?"

"She said something was wrong with Anthony?" Bella sat up momentarily.

"Well…she implied it. Asking him all that bullshit about what his yard used to look like and crap. What the hell kind of shit is that? What a waste of time. I mean, if she wanted to help Anthony, she'd make sure he didn't feel like any of this shit was his fault. She'd tell that principal to go fuck himself instead of supporting that cock-sucking school for making a little boy feel bad because he doesn't have a fuckin' shitload of family pictures." Edward's emotions began to bubble over and his voice cracked on the last syllable. He brought his arm up to rest over his eyes and he sighed in defeat. "I do _not_ want to go through this shit again…" he mumbled.

Edward didn't say anything else. He figured that Bella would grill him about the statement he'd just made, and so his mind was muddled with the words he might use to satisfy her queries.

But she asked nothing. Her mouth, instead of vocalize words, was being used to connect with him physically. She kissed his bicep. Then his elbow. His chest. The little sliver of skin exposed on his belly due to his raised arm. His bellybutton.

And while her lips paid homage to his skin, Bella's hand slowly stroked his thigh. _Up…down…up…down…_

When her hand slipped inward toward his groin, Edward tensed, but said nothing. His body was attentively warming underneath the path of her hand, but his mind was rigid at the idea of what was to come. Surely he was misunderstanding this gesture. Any minute now, Bella would kiss him succinctly, sit back and then ask him to tell her everything that happened. Any minute now she would find her voice and agree with him that Leisel was a low-rate phony who should be banned from practice immediately. They would both agree that therapy was the last place Anthony needed to be and she would support him in terminating any further clinical relationships.

Edward had almost convinced himself that that was what was coming.

So he was completely unprepared when her fingers unsnapped the button-clasp on his jeans.

Internally he warred within himself to both ask her what she was doing and remain silent lest she stop. But that silent battle was a short one, because Bella moved faster than the speed of his thoughts. In one fluid motion, he filled her mouth.

What her lips couldn't take in, her hands compensated for. Relentlessly, demandingly, Bella's tongue tugged and coaxed Edward a climax.

But for some reason unbeknownst to him, he fought against it. While his body basked in the pleasure of the activity, something in his mind fought to allow him to freely give in to it. He sat on the precipice of nirvana, as if a promising touch only continued to pass a shadow over his skin. He ached to experience what he was already experiencing; struggling to simultaneously focus on his basest desire and a haze of a distraction that sat on his periphery, preventing him from giving in.

Yet Bella moved blindly outside of Edward's dilemma. Fingers cupped, grazed and stroked where he desired that attention. Teeth nipped, lips sucked forcefully, vocal chords revealed delighted service; a tongue lavished.

"Mmphh…" the warmth was beginning to spread. The air sprouted legs and feet and danced over Edward's abdomen, his calves, his perineum, his toes…

Suddenly, his body shivered in victory as his mind gave way to the euphoria created by Bella's oral manipulation.

_"Fuu-shhiittt…" _Edward moaned as Bella slid him towards the back of her throat. His fingers found purchase along her collar, and up into the baby-fine hair that dwelled at the nape of her neck. He caressed her locks as her tongue swirled against him from his shaft to his tip and back again. His body seized once before being momentarily paralyzed by the nirvana of his orgasm.

"Damn, woman," Edward panted out his appreciation as he resituated his clothing.

Bella sat up slowly, pausing as she swallowed the evidence of her actions. "Well…I do happen to work at that _cock-sucking_ school. One would think I'd pick up a thing or two…" There was a light and playful air to her words, but Edward couldn't help but think there was a layer of hurt beneath them. As he watched her disappear into the small bathroom, his thoughts were ablaze with a component that had been evading him all afternoon: clarity.

"Hey," Edward reached up and softly touched Bella's arm when he rejoined her on the bed. "Was I a prick today?"

Bella smirked. "Well…not _all_ day."

"Really?" Edward frowned as he thought back over the words he'd used during the course of the evening. "I just hate shrinks. They prey on the weak, and they never fuckin' help anyone."

"I wouldn't say that," Bella frowned.

"Well they didn't help me."

"They helped me," Bella admitted. "Well…one did, anyway."

Edward looked surprised. "You had to see a shrink?"

"I didn't _have_ to," Bella shrugged. "But my family and my close friends suggested it and because I trusted them, I went. It ended up being one of the best decisions I ever made."

"Did it help you?"

Bella nodded. "It still helps me. Not a day goes by where I don't use something I learned in those sessions."

"How long did you go?"

"A few months. Not long."

The longer it took for Bella to offer the reason she went to therapy, the more uncomfortable Edward became about asking. Finally, after a few minutes when she didn't offer the source of her therapy's motivation, Edward gave in and asked.

"So what happened? Why'd everyone want you to go to therapy?"

"Well," Bella seemed to consider her words for the most simple explanation, "I don't fail well."

Edward snorted. "Who does?"

"Actually, most people do it better than you'd think. Like, if you went for a job and you didn't get it, what would you do?"

"I'd look for another job," Edward answered with an elementary flair.

"Yeah. That's probably what ninety percent of the population would do. People don't usually feel beaten down about things until it happens a few times, and then only when it's in succession." Bella flipped her hair over her shoulder. "But not me. I literally took things like that so personally that I couldn't function.

"I used to create these random goals for myself and my self-worth was wrapped up in whether I attained them or not. The older I got, the bigger the goals became, and the bigger the repercussions for not attaining them." Bella took a deep breath and continued. "When I was a senior in high school, I volunteered with a non-profit organization that worked to educate third-world countries about the benefits of investing in their youth. I got really involved with the program, and even wrote a grant that resulted in funding for an orphanage to be built in Nicaragua. Well, it just seemed like the natural evolution was for me to go to this orphanage and teach English and health classes. So, I put all my eggs in one basket, so to speak. I never even considered that I wouldn't be selected to go, and when I wasn't, I didn't even know how to handle it. I almost flunked out of my second year of college because of it. I was paralyzed by a fear of failure to the point of not even wanting to try. That's when my parents and my friends said I should go to therapy. And truthfully, the only reason I went, initially, was because I thought the therapist was going to side with me and tell me I should have gotten picked to represent the non-profit in Nicaragua – that I was the best person for the job. But she did so much more than that. I had my eyes opened to the immense amount of pressure I put on myself – and for no relevant reason."

"So you don't do that anymore?" Edward asked.

"Oh, I still do it," Bella readily admitted, "but now I recognize what I'm doing, and I have tools to use that help me see things in a proper perspective. These are the types of tools Leisel wants to provide Anthony, so that the next time he's in a group of kids talking about his mother, he'll know how to respond, instead of physically lashing out or wetting his pants."

"You think she's the right person for Anthony?" Edward asked of Leisel.

"I definitely don't think she's the _wrong_ person," Bella deflected. "But I'm not the one she spoke to. If you got a vibe about her, then it's totally within your right to choose-"

"Don't teacher-speak me, Bella. Please. I'm asking you, as my girlfriend, do you think I should take Anthony back?"

Bella nodded. "I do. And I've overheard some other teachers who've referred students to Leisel. They have nothing but great things to say. But apart from all that, Anthony seemed to like her, and that's pretty important."

Edward pulled his fingers through his hair and let out a groan of anguish. "It was hard watching him with her," he said in a small voice.

"Why, baby?"

"Because. I remember sitting in rooms just like that, answering all these questions and thinking that if I said the right thing they'd let me go back to my parents. Every time someone came to talk to me, or took me to talk to someone, I'd get my hopes up. _Every_ time. It literally took years before I stopped being hopeful. I was such a stupid kid…"

"No you weren't. And neither is Anthony."

"I know he's not, but I don't want these people making him think that they're gonna somehow bring his old life back to him. I mean, what's on the other side of these questions, Bella? All he's going to do is remember and regret and want what he can't have."

"Edward…?" Bella touched his arm tentatively. "Your situation is completely different from Anthony's. And if you would...look into things a little further, you'd understand exactly _how_ different."

It took Edward but a moment to realize that Bella was talking about a conversation she'd had not too long ago that uncovered something she, herself, was unwilling to tell him. She was giving him only one way to find out what she was talking about, and it was a course of action he didn't ever see himself taking.

"I just don't trust therapists," Edward changed the course of the conversation, as if Bella hadn't made her previous statement.

"Did you tell Leisel you felt this way when it was just the two of your speaking?" Bella asked.

Edward shook his head. He planned to tell Bella everything that he and Leisel had discussed, but his mind was such a jumbled mess from exhaustion, that he didn't even know where to begin. Except for one thing.

"I told her we were together and that we hadn't told Anthony yet," he said.

"Did she say that was a bad thing? Did she say we should tell him?" Bella asked.

"Yeah, she said we should tell him," Edward paused. "Actually…she said that we shouldn't assume that he doesn't already know – something about the way he draws us in pictures, or some bullshit like that."

Bella laughed. "Wouldn't it be funny if we went through all this trouble to keep it from him, and he already knew?"

"No," Edward said, smiling despite his negative response. "But it would be nice to have you sleep over more."

"Yeah. It would," Bella agreed.

Edward rolled over to face Bella. He placed his hands on her hips and scooted her closer to him. "Stay," he said as he nuzzled his face against her neck.

"I thought we agreed that I wouldn't stay over until we told Anthony…"

"We'll tell him in the morning," Edward coaxed softly as his hands slid down Bella's thighs.

The irony wasn't lost on Edward that only hours before he'd wanted to shut himself off from the world and wallow in the misery that he'd created in his own mind. But this woman, this beautiful woman at his side, had silently come alongside him and revealed his need for her in his life, and not just until the morning's rays pierced the horizon.

* * *

Want to read about the Prom with Tutorward and his Bella? Or how about a flash forward into the future when Bella gives birth…is it a boy or girl?

Or perhaps you prefer a ringside seat to what went down between Cannabean Edward and Alice those years ago…or maybe a glimpse of Edward when he decided to take a little detour from the Cannabean Way.

If none of those options are of interest to you, you might want to experience Anthony's point of view of his first day in Forks, or maybe the night he spent with Jasper and Alice, or maybe something he saw when nobody thought he was watching…

Or maybe there was one sentence in any one of those three stories that really stuck with you and you'd like to see it played out in a 5000+ word one-shot. All you have to do is bid Team ItzMegan to make that one wish a reality!


	27. Chapter 27 Break Out

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 27 – Breakout**

Bella and Rosalie sat at Bella's small kitchen table, conversing over an afternoon cup of coffee. Anthony had quickly finished up his snack in anticipation of coloring in the coloring book he'd purchased from the kindergarten's class store with five 'positive pennies' from his behavior bank.

"What's a positive penny?" Rosalie asked when Anthony excitedly told her about his transaction.

"It's from my bank," Anthony explained. "I get them for finishing my seatwork and lining up quietly."

Rosalie laughed. "Do you have 'naughty nickels' and 'disobedient dimes', too?"

Anthony watched her for a moment, as if she were speaking a language he didn't understand, before looking over to Bella for a translation.

"We tend to focus more on the positive in kindergarten," Bella told her. "And we stick to pennies in my class. I'm on a budget."

Bella looked on silently as Rosalie watched Anthony stroll into the living room and settle onto the floor with his coloring book.

"He's pretty quiet, huh? For a kid," she added.

"It depends," Bella chuckled. "He can be pretty hyper, too. But he's always a good boy."

"You sound a little biased, there, teacher," Rosalie smirked.

"Maybe," Bella shrugged, but the accompanying smile hinted at her agreement.

"You'd better watch out, or all the kids in your class will accuse you of being unfair."

"They can accuse me all they want, but I am very fair," Bella said defensively. "I make sure not to show any of my students unmerited preferential treatment in the classroom."

Rosalie frowned. "Unmerited preferential treatment? What the – did you lift that straight out of the teacher handbook or something?"

"Page six," Bella snickered.

"Yeah, well, you'd better hope Junior, over there, keeps his mouth shut about the preferential treatment you're giving his father, at least until he graduates to the first grade."

Bella sat up straighter as she checked to make sure Anthony was completely engaged in his work before she informed Rosalie that she was not concerned about loose lips on Anthony's behalf. "I hardly think anyone will care that Edward and I are _special friends."_

Rosalie looked as if she'd swallowed a bitter pill. "Special friends? That's how you explained your relationship? It sounds so…Rainbow Coalition."

"He's five," Bella reminded her friend. "How would you have explained it?"

"I would have…well I would have told him that…I would have explained that sometimes a man and a woman…when there are… Well I certainly wouldn't have called it special friends, that's for sure," Rosalie scoffed.

Actually, Rosalie's rebuff wasn't unique. Edward had reacted the same way during the powwow he and Bella had had before their debriefing session with Anthony. Only he had snubbed the word 'friends' instead of the term 'special'.

"We're more than friends, Bella. Isn't that the point of all of this?" he'd debated.

"Edward, he's five," Bella had reiterated.

"He's old enough to grasp the concept of boyfriend and girlfriend."

"Or partner."

"Nope. Don't like it," Edward had shot that down immediately. Now that he'd set his mind to cluing Anthony in on the status of his relationship, he was adamant about it, and he wanted it done his way.

"Yeah," Bella had agreed without a fight. "He'd probably think we were going to play a game or something."

"I'm just going to tell him that you're my girlfriend."

"What's a girlfriend, Dad?" Bella had looked as serious and sincere as she could as she sat on the bed mimicking Edward's little boy.

"Uh…well…it's when a man finds a woman that he cares a lot about and he…okay, scratch that… Um… a girlfriend is a big girl…I mean, a woman…ugh…_shit_…"

"You said shit, Dad," Bella had taunted through giggles.

"Well this isn't easy!" Edward feigned upset. "You try, smarty pants."

Bella had proceeded to sit up straighter before putting on her best 'teacher voice'. "Anthony, how do you feel about Bella spending time with me?" she'd paused for effect. "Because, I consider Bella to be a special friend, Anthony, and that means that we spend a lot of time together…sometimes at her house, and sometimes over here, with us." Bella had looked up at Edward with raised eyebrows when she was done speaking.

"And if he asks why I want to spend time with you?" Edward had asked in indignation.

"It's because I'm your special friend."

"What if he asks if Jasper is my special friend, too?"

"Jasper is Alice's special friend."

"And if he asks if you're his special friend?"

"You tell him that I'm _your_ special friend, and that people can only have one special friend at a time. That's what makes it special."

Edward's pensive look had morphed into one of resignation as he pulled a pillow off the bed and playfully hit Bella over the head with it. "Do you ever get tired of being right all the time?"

"Right nothing. I just don't want a room full of kindergarteners claiming to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. And that's exactly what we'd have if we sent Anthony to school armed with that terminology."

Of course, there was no word win for either Edward or Bella when it came to their explanation. 'Special friend' proved to be a tad bit too elementary for Anthony's mind, and though he was completely accepting of the time his father spent with his teacher, the only question Anthony had asked, was one neither Edward nor Bella had prepared to answer:

"Does that mean you're getting married or something?" Of course. The child had seen enough Disney movies to make that association.

Bella's eyes had slid over to Edward slyly, yet she'd made it a point not to comment. Though she had no personal experience on the topic, she knew enough to know that there were very few answers to that question that didn't lead to more questions.

"Uh..no. No, that's not what that means."

Bella had noticed that Edward had avoided looking at her when he'd answered his son. And since he had answered him, Anthony was appeased for the moment and immediately moved on to his favorite pastime, which was finding out where his next meal was coming from and what it was. And when it was revealed that Bella would be doing the cooking instead of Edward, he'd seemed more than happy with that.

The chiming of Rosalie's cell phone catapulted Bella back to the present just in time to hear her friend let out a contemplative sigh. Ruefully, Rosalie glanced over at Anthony before admitting, "Sometimes I think I've gotten it all wrong."

"About kids?" Bella asked, not quite following.

"Just…everything," Rosalie gestured lightly. "What's important and what's…not."

_Oh. Emmett._

"Have you talked to him?" Bella asked point blank.

Rosalie shook her head, not bothering to pretend that she didn't know who Bella was talking about. "I don't think that's going to be happening anytime soon," she added. "Anyway, I took that job in Seattle. I'm leaving in twelve days."

Bella gasped. "But that's before Christmas." It was the first thing that came to mind, though it wasn't the most important. Rosalie didn't have a family to share Christmas with, nor was the holiday such an event for her that she had to plan her life around it. But it was something to say; the words took up enough air so as to act as a placeholder while Bella considered the weight of the emotion Rosalie's void would cause. "It's so soon."

Rosalie nodded, battling emotions of her own. "I don't have any vacation time, though. I figured it'd be best to get all the logistics out of the way when I could take advantage of holidays and things. Plus, it didn't make sense to pay another month's rent so…"

"Are you sure?" Bella whispered.

Oddly enough, when Rosalie had showed up that afternoon with a small can of Café Vienna, Bella had actually thought her friend was trying to make up for lost time by putting a new spin on the weekly outings they used to share. She'd just thought it was a sign of Edward and Anthony's presence in her life – that now that she kept Anthony after school, she and Rosalie would have to meet over whatever kid-friendly cuisine she was making that evening instead of down at the local bar.

But now it was clear that Rosalie hadn't come to find out the latest gossip from the teacher's lounge, nor was she going to try, one last time, to talk Bella into buying a home. She'd come to say good-bye, and she was giving herself twelve days to do so.

"We have to have dinner or something before you leave," Bella said unenthusiastically.

"Definitely," Rosalie said. "Actually, all I'll be doing until I leave is packing and forwarding mail and eating a variety of TV dinners. Money's tight until I actually start working so—"

"Say no more. You'll have dinner here. Every night," Bella insisted.

"Well, I don't know about _every_ night. Edward might not appreciate that."

"Edward will understand."

And he did. Somewhat.

Although he didn't complain, Bella could tell that he was uncomfortable spending the day working with Emmett, and then spending the evening over dinner with Rosalie. After the second night, Edward was pretty quiet, and then, as soon as Rosalie had left to return to her apartment, he'd made his feelings on the matter known.

"I'm not telling her shit about Emmett, so I hope she doesn't ask," he said.

"She won't," Bella said, even though she wasn't convinced of that. "But just to be safe, I think we should just plan on not saying anything where those two are concerned. You shouldn't tell Emmett stuff that she says either."

The expression on Edward's face revealed that it may have been too late for such a pact.

"Edward, you didn't…did you?" Bella asked.

"Emmett doesn't care," Edward stated, answering the question indirectly. "He's glad she's moving. He won't have to run into her punk ass at the gas station anymore."

"He said that?" Bella was disappointed. Though she thought Rosalie's dumping of Emmett for another guy was low and lame, they _weren't_ married, and if Rosalie didn't feel that she could appreciate Emmett for the man he was, then yes, it was best to move on and let him find someone who would.

"He didn't have to say it. I know how he feels."

And if a fraction of Emmett's feelings were represented in the cool way that Edward acted toward Rosalie, then it was abundantly clear how Emmett felt, without his thoughts or feelings being restated.

Despite that, Rosalie continued to visit with Bella each evening for dinner, and after the third day, she changed the routine of her visits. It happened after Anthony challenged her to a game of checkers, remembering the way they'd played at Thanksgiving.

They started playing a quick game each night after dinner, before Edward would tell Anthony that it was getting late and that they needed to leave. Because Anthony seemed to really enjoy Rosalie's joking jests during the game, Rosalie began to appear earlier and earlier, and each time she spent less and less time in the kitchen with Bella and more time in the living room on the opposite side of the board game from Anthony.

It wasn't until the final week of Rosalie's stay in Forks that Bella realized the time Anthony spent with Rosalie was more than mere entertainment.

The rain was thundering down outside, and Rosalie barreled into the small apartment wearing two sweatshirts beneath an oversized raincoat. Underneath her arm she carried a plastic bag, and when Bella inquired, she opened it to reveal the game of Battleship.

"Hey! I have that game!" Anthony said as he ran up undetected.

"You do?" Rosalie asked, a little deflated that she couldn't be the one to introduce him to it.

"Uh-huh. Emmett gave it to me." Anthony was so busy relieving Rosalie of the game that he didn't notice the gaunt expression on her face.

Bella felt horrible as she saw how crestfallen Rosalie had become at the mere mention of Emmett's name. She wanted to ask her friend if she wanted to talk about it, but they seemed to have this unspoken treaty that it wouldn't be discussed.

So Bella pretended that Emmett's name hadn't been brought up as she moved into the kitchen to finish making that evening's meal. She also pretended that she wasn't eavesdropping on Rosalie and Anthony's conversation in an effort to thwart any additional uncomfortable moments.

"You're not going to cry when I sink your ship are you?" Rosalie was overheard as she ribbed Anthony.

"I'm not a baby!" Anthony exclaimed.

There was a moment of silence during which, Bella assumed, game setup was taking place. Suddenly, Anthony's voice was quietly heard.

"Vicki said I was a noisy ship."

"Vicki who?" The tone of Rosalie's voice revealed that she knew exactly who 'Vicki' was.

"I don't know what her other name is," Anthony said, eluding to the fact that he was only on a first name basis with his nemesis. "But she's not a special friend."

_The hell she isn't!_ Bella thought as she tossed aside the potholder she was using and fought to remain in the kitchen. After all, Anthony had never volunteered to speak to her about what he'd endured that day at Vicki's house. For whatever reason, he found a confidant in Rosalie instead.

"Does your dad still talk to Vicki?" Rosalie asked, as only Rosalie would.

"I don't know. He said that I don't have to ever see her again, though. She's mean."

"Well I don't think your dad would still talk to someone who was mean to you. Do you?"

There was no verbal response from Anthony and Bella moved to the edge of the wall that separated her kitchen from the living room so that she could get a visual of what was going on.

Anthony was sitting on the floor, his back to Bella, strategically lining up his small battleships. From where she stood, Bella could tell that the only way Anthony would win the game was if Rosalie let him.

Rosalie's eyes fluttered up to where Bella was standing, and then back over to Anthony, so as not to break the flow of conversation.

"You're not afraid of Vicki, are you?" she asked.

"No, I'm not afraid," Anthony said indignantly.

"Good. Because your dad is pretty big and I'm sure he would never let her hurt you."

"She already did," Anthony whispered. "She spanked me on my bottom."

"Well that's because Vicki is a bad person," Rosalie wasted no time in stating. "And you told your dad about it, right? And then he told you that she never should have hit you, right?"

"Miss Bella did."

"Yeah, well that's because Miss Bella is awesome," Rosalie placed an emphasis on her last word. "And she cares about you a lot."

Anthony smiled. "She's a special friend."

"Yeah, and your dad's lucky to have her," Rosalie said, winking over Anthony's head at Bella, as she put his comment into the proper perspective.

Anthony giggled. "That's what he said."

Bella was so moved by those words that her eyes misted over with tears and she moved back into the kitchen, so as not to have an audience for her show of emotion. Yet when Edward walked into the apartment a few moments later, she wasted no time in throwing her arms around him and kissing him several times on his face and neck before landing one upon his waiting lips.

"Now _that_ was a welcome home," he said smiling, even though he didn't quite understand the pleasurable assault.

Over dinner, Rosalie and Anthony carried on their light banter, and Bella constantly tossed glimpses in Edward's direction to see if he'd noticed Anthony's uncharacteristic chattiness.

Apparently, Edward either didn't think it was a big deal, or he hadn't noticed because his expression revealed that he was not even listening to what was being discussed around the small table. In fact, it wasn't until Rosalie addressed him directly, at the end of the meal, that he seemed to remember that other people were actually present.

"So, it's like a Friday night for you, huh? Since, you don't have to work tomorrow?" Rosalie asked him.

"Uh…yeah. I guess." His eyes only fleetingly focused on Rosalie and Bella knew he was trying to discourage any intimate conversation that might land on the topic of Emmett.

"You and Bella should go out. See a movie or something. Anthony and I can hang out here," Rosalie suggested.

Edward shrugged and Bella thought for sure that he was going to turn her down. But then he turned to Bella and raised an eyebrow. "You want to?"

"Sure," Bella said, always agreeable to spending time with Edward.

"I want to go see a movie, too," Anthony protested.

"Next time," Edward answered him.

"Hey, if you go to the movies, who's going to play this game with me?" Rosalie asked. Anthony looked over at the game as he thought over the idea.

"We won't be gone long," Bella said to appease him. "You and I have school tomorrow."

"Oh-kay," Anthony drew out the syllables as he settled down in the living room for the second best option.

Edward's unenthusiastic appearance matched his son's, so much so that Bella suggested they take Rosalie up on her offer some other night when it was better for Edward.

"No, it's cool," Edward said unconvincingly. "I don't really want to see a movie, though. Mind if we just hang out at my place for a bit?"

As soon as he suggested it, Bella knew _exactly_ what it was that Edward wanted to do. Thank goodness her period had ended two days before and she had on her safe-to-be-seen-by-Edward panties.

"Sure, that's fine with me," Bella smiled coyly.

But upon arrival at Edward's townhouse, Bella immediately realized that she might have misjudged Edward's intentions. He walked into his house and tossed a pile of unread mail onto the bar, flipped on the television, an action Bella assumed was for her benefit since he continued on toward the stairs, and went into his bedroom without extending an invitation to her.

When Edward returned he was wearing a loose fitting pair of pants and a different shirt. "I smelled like tree bark," he said as he flopped down on the sofa beside Bella.

"Tough day at work?" she surmised.

"Not unlike any other," he shrugged.

That remark left Bella stranded. How was she supposed to respond with '_Do you want to talk about it_' to that?

She reached over and began to rub his shoulders instead. "You seem really tense, Babe," she told him.

Edward sighed and trailed his hands over his face a few times before replying. "I'm just tired."

After an obvious flair of hesitation, Edward leaned over and kissed Bella on the mouth. If he hadn't distracted her by hovering there before kissing her again, she would have acknowledged it. But when his hands began to rove across her torso, her legs and her ass, that mere second of vacillation was all but forgotten.

Wary of a growing distance, Edward's standoffish demeanor had caused Bella to crave him all the more. Suddenly a simple kiss was like water to a parched throat; air to drowning swimmer. Perhaps he sensed her need, or maybe he even felt the same way, which explained the yearning way he then pulled her onto his lap.

"You wanna go upstairs," he asked, his breathing labored by the anticipation of what was coming.

Though she heard him, Bella didn't answer for fear of breaking the momentary trance that had allowed Edward to shake off his funk and respond to her in exactly the way she needed him to. Instead, she pulled at his shirt until he got the hint and took it off. Then she went to work on his belt in a way that left no question as to what her agenda was.

The emotion in the atmosphere shifted from heavy to light as both Edward and Bella broke out in peals of laughter when she fell off the couch trying to take off her pants. He slid down beside her, and in a flash, Bella straddled his naked lap and sunk down over him.

"Uuuhhh…" the feeling of being connected to him – after a long day apart, his closed-off attitude and her unexpressed emotion after overhearing what Anthony had repeated – nearly caused Bella to orgasm upon entry.

Making no apology for her desires, Bella rode him unabashedly. Her fingers burrowed into the flesh of his chest as she sat up and tossed her hair back over her shoulder. And when her rhythm faltered as her climax engulfed her, Edward took over; his fingers grasping her tightly as he held her steady while he thrust his hips against her.

Minutes later they lay beside on another, gasping and spent.

"Mid-week sex," Edward panted. "We need to do that more often."

"Mm-hm," Bella agreed, sated and secure in his arms. Released from the confines of her urges for Edward, Bella's mind was now free to rest on inconsequential things. "The Holiday pageant is next Thursday night. Anthony is really excited about you hearing him sing," she said as she wrapped her arm tighter around Edward's waist.

"Yeah. I think I've been hearing Jingle Bells in my sleep," Edward chuckled.

"I'm pretty sure, out of all my students, Anthony is the most excited for Christmas," Bella murmured as she traced a pattern in the light spattering of hair on Edward's chest. "Have you started your Christmas shopping yet?"

Right then, Bella witnessed Edward's shift back to melancholia.

"What is it?" Bella asked in frustration as she sat up. "What did I say?"

"Nothing," Edward shook his head as he put on his shirt. "It's nothing."

"It's not _nothing_, Edward," Bella insisted disappointedly. "You've been…off all evening." She stared at him a few beats longer and when it looked like she wasn't going to get anything from him, she stood up in a huff and began to get dressed.

They worked silently in tandem, picking up and pulling on clothes, straightening up the room and completely ignoring the tension between them.

Bella felt defeated as she walked into the bathroom and locked the door. How had they managed to get back to this place – where Edward solidly locked Bella away from his thoughts and feelings. They'd had numerous conversations about it, yet it seemed like they were going nowhere, if not backwards.

Disgruntled tears pressed against her lashes as Bella closed her eyes in anguish. She internally inventoried her patience and wondered if she had enough to continue to deal with Edward's ricocheting emotions.

But I _do_ love him," she whispered to herself, and as her voice reverberated off the walls and bounced back to her, she could hear the echo of helplessness.

Knowing her feelings for Edward only made matters that much harder, because even though he shut her out, she felt what he felt; she hurt when he hurt. And no matter how much she attempted to prod and pull information from him, it meant nothing when he didn't give it willingly.

And that was all she really wanted from him: a willful exchange; a trusted give and take. Because if Edward didn't feel like he could trust Bella with what he was feeling, did that, then, mean that he didn't want her to entrust him with her feelings as well?

Just as Rome wasn't built in a day, Bella didn't expect to come to the end of that issue anytime soon, so when she emerged from the bathroom to find Edward standing nervously just on the other side of it, she was more than just a little taken aback.

"You're right," he said in his low, melodic tone. "I need to…talk to you about something." The way he kept his eyes downcast instead of focusing on her made Bella nervous.

"Okay," her voice shook as she waited for him to speak.

He opened his mouth and then shut it again without a word, and turned on his heels and walked into his living room. Bella didn't bother to wait for a request to follow; she knew he wanted her to.

"What's going on?" she prompted him again as she sat down next to him.

Edward twisted his hands and shuffled his feet back and forth nervously. "So I went to see that lady again…the…shrink, or whatever."

"Today?" Bella asked with wide eyes. She'd had no idea he'd decided to return…and without Anthony. That was odd.

"Yeah."

"Did something happen with Anthony?" Bella asked with concern. "I noticed that he brought up the issue with Vicki again today. He was telling Rosalie about it."

Edward looked up at Bella then, an expression of surprise coloring his features. "Yeah, she…Leisel, she said that he might start randomly talking about stuff as she brings stuff to the surface. But I didn't think it would start happening already."

"Has Anthony been back to see her then?" Bella asked, only slightly hurt that she was only finding out now, but knowing Edward technically had no responsibility to include her in such a decision.

"I was gonna tell you, but I wasn't sure if I was gonna continue with it and I knew you wanted me to. I was just trying to see if I could make this decision on my own…as Anthony's dad…you know?"

"And what did you decide?"

"I decided to take him back one more time before I made up my mind."

"That was smart," Bella said encouragingly.

"Yeah, except that after she talked to Anthony, she came out and said that she thought that she and I should talk at a time when Anthony wasn't with me. That freaked me the fuck out," Edward admitted. "I thought she was going to tell me that they made a mistake in giving him to me or something."

"Nobody's going to do that, Edward."

"She looked in my fuckin' record, Bella." Edward leaned forward and looked back over his shoulder at Bella as he spoke. "That shit was supposed to be sealed once I turned eighteen, but she must've looked in it because she knew shit."

"So she acted like she was going to use something against you?" Bella asked, feeling irritated on Edward's behalf because she knew that unless something specifically pertained to Anthony, no one should be digging around in Edward's legal records.

"No," Edward shook his head and calmed down a bit. "I was just…shocked to hear her mention stuff about an old caseworker."

Bella reached over and took Edward's hand in hers – a move meant to show comfort and support. "So, is that what's had you upset?"

"I'm not upset," Edward said obstinately. "I just…I need to ask you something and…I don't want you to freak out or anything."

_Too late. _"All right."

"So, when I went to talk to the therapist, we got to talking about triggers and things for Anthony and how to reintroduce things back into his life in a way that doesn't upset him; a positive way," Edward began.

"Uh-huh."

"And, well you said yourself how excited Anthony is about Christmas. I guess it was a big deal when he lived with his mom." Edward let out a deep shuddering breath. "So she suggested that…I kinda recreate his past experiences and introduce some new ones at the same time. Just so he doesn't feel like he's lost so much all at once. You know?"

"Right." Bella was desperately wanting him to get to the part that he thought was going to freak her out.

"So…I think I'm gonna take Anthony back to Salem…to see his grandfather."

Confusion clouded Bella's ability to adequately process what Edward was saying. So far, nothing he'd mentioned seemed like anything to panic over.

"I think that's great, Edward. Anthony would really love that," Bella said as she steeled herself for bad news.

Edward tightened his grip on her hand as a hint of a smile played at his lips. "Babe…"

In that instant it became clear to Bella what Edward's issue was. He wanted her to come with him. But in the way of a man emotionally stunted before his adolescence, Edward was having a difficult time of asking her - of letting her in.

"Yes?" Bella leaned in, waiting. She needed to let him do this on his own. He needed to have this success if they were ever going to have a shot at moving forward.

"I know you might think it's too soon, or whatever, but I was…hell, Bella…I need you to come with me…with us." Edward swallowed. "Will you come?"

She was about to make a joke about spending the holidays alone, or alongside her parents and their throng of shuffleboard companions, but Edward looked as if he might shatter from anxiousness.

"I would love to come with you," she said with a smile.

"Really?" Edward asked. His face showed all the excitement of a five-year-old boy who'd just received a new bicycle.

"Of course," Bella assured him.

"Cool," Edward nodded as he awkwardly stood up and craned his neck to look at the clock. He seemed slightly embarrassed that he was so worried only minutes before. "We'd better get back. I need to get Anthony in bed."

Bella agreed and followed Edward to the door. Everything seemed back to normal as Edward walked over to his car and opened the passenger side door for Bella. However, as she moved to climb in, he stopped her and pulled her into a crushing embrace.

"Thank you, Baby," he said softly into her shoulder.

"I love you, Edward," Bella responded, because she knew he really needed to hear it. "And going with you to Oregon is the least of the things I'd do for you."


	28. Chapter 28 Life During Wartime

A Rough Start

**Chapter 28: Life During Wartime**

It had been just a fluke that Edward heard him. He'd woken up in the middle of the night, a stray thought nagging him back to consciousness. He'd gone to the bathroom to grab a sip of water and had heard whimpering coming from across the hall. Slowly, Edward crossed toward Anthony's room until he was standing in his son's doorway. The light was on, as always, allowing Edward to clearly see his son entrenched in a nightmare.

"…Mommy…over here! No! I'm here!" Anthony began to thresh and roll wildly in his bed.

Edward stood frozen for a moment, wondering if the same rules for sleepwalking applied to nightmares. Was he not supposed to wake Anthony?

His first thought was to call Bella and ask her, but it was almost three o'clock in the morning, and surely she wouldn't appreciate being woken up when she had to be at work six hours later.

Edward would have to do this one on his own.

"Anthony…hey, Buddy," Edward shook him gently. "Wake up, Anthony."

Anthony jolted awake and rubbed his eyes. "Grandpa?"

"Do I look like a grandpa to you?" Edward smiled as he tapped Anthony playfully on the nose. Anthony merely frowned up at him. He was not a jovial person when he first awoke.

"Can I have water?" Anthony asked after taking a moment to sit up.

Edward hesitated. The therapist had recommended not giving Anthony water at bedtime since he had issues with wetting his pants.

"Just a sip, okay? I don't want you to have an accident."

Anthony nodded in agreement and Edward went off to the bathroom to fill up the small cup that Anthony used when he brushed his teeth. When he returned to Anthony's room with it, Anthony wasn't there. Edward didn't bother searching. He simply walked to his room to find Anthony almost asleep on Edward's side of the bed.

"Well at least scoot over," Edward said, not willing to expend the energy of making Anthony sleep in his own bed.

With a lethargic shift, and a five-year-old grunt, Anthony moved over and lay on the pillow on the other side of the bed.

"It smells like Miss Swan's house," he murmured.

_Of course it does._ Edward sighed instead of respond out loud. Bella had come by last night about an hour after Anthony had gone to bed and had stayed until just before he'd woken up. Despite his knowledge of their relationship, Bella still wasn't comfortable with Anthony seeing her come out of Edward's room in the mornings, so she either tried to be in the kitchen as if she'd just stopped by for breakfast, or she left before he got out of bed.

It was probably better that Bella was doing this. The fewer changes in Anthony's environment right now, the better. The few interactions with Leisel were causing him to do some weird shit – shit Edward wasn't ready to talk to anyone about; not even Bella. It wasn't that it was embarrassing or scary. It just wasn't Anthony, and Edward didn't want anyone thinking there was something wrong with him just because he was zoning out a little more lately, or having more bad dreams or mixing up what was real and what was fantasy.

_All kids did that, right?_

Edward knew that he should probably let the therapist know of what was going on with Anthony, and he'd had every intention to do so, but then Leisel had started writing things in a file – and then she'd given him a letter that she said a copy of which was going into Anthony's school file.

"Why do they need this?" Edward had objected.

"You signed a release of confidentiality, Edward. That allows me to share information with the school. And since the district is requesting this visit…"

"With his current school, okay. But if you put this into his permanent record, it's going to follow him wherever he goes."

Leisel had frowned then and placed her hands solidly down on her desk. "It's very much like a medical record, Edward. If Anthony suffered a breathing issue as a baby, then, when he was three years old, if some mysterious symptoms arose, they'd be able to look back through his file and see that they might be dealing with the residual of a previous illness and know how best to treat him.

"This isn't that different. Anthony suffered a major trauma in his life and we are providing him the tools to cope with something that he will be dealing with for a very long time. He's not going to recover over night, Edward. In fact, I'd say that since he is repressing a lot of his emotions, you might not see some things for months…or even years."

Well she could package it anyway she wanted to, but Edward knew the reality of what Leisel was doing. She was labeling Anthony. And now until he graduated from high school, he'd have this brightly colored label affixed to his school file and it would be used against him in every way, shape and form imaginable.

_"What? You want a scholarship? Well let's see…you've got the grades and your recommendations look good…but wait…what's this…oh…I see. It says here that you had a hard time coping with a tragedy when you were younger. Well, we're looking for someone who can really focus on this program, despite how stringent it might be at times…I'm sorry, Anthony. You don't appear to have what we're looking for after all"…_

Edward shook his head to free his mind of the worrisome scenario. It seemed so real to him; he could just see it happening. Well, not on his watch. There was no way that he was going to provide ammunition for Anthony to be discriminated against. So unless Anthony mentioned it or experienced it in a session, Edward wasn't going to rat him out.

And it was with that resolution that Edward got out of bed and headed downstairs to fill up a bowl of cereal for his son.

Over breakfast, Anthony looked as chipper as any kid who'd had a full, nightmare-less rest.

"Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way…Dad?"

"Yeah, Anthony?"

" Are you really taking me to see Santa at Center Mall?"  
Edward nodded, knowing that Anthony was referring to the Salem Center Mall in Oregon. It was the mall that Anthony remembered going to on more than one occasion to have his picture taken with Santa Claus.

"So you'd better make sure you've made your Christmas list before we go," Edward said.

Anthony jumped down from the table and ran into the living room. He reappeared moments later carrying a large catalog that Edward recognized from Bella's coffee table.

"Did Bella give you that?"

Anthony nodded. "It's for my Christmas list," he answered.

Edward could see lots of jagged edges and loose pages where Anthony had torn out pictures of items he wanted. As he looked on, Anthony lined up pictures of a toy train, motorcycle, baseball mitt, remote control car, a foosball table that Edward knew immediately he wouldn't be buying, and a…picture of a woman wearing a floral dress?

"What's this?" Edward held up the picture of the matronly woman in the dress.

"That's for Grandma," Anthony answered. "Mommy likes green rocks, but they didn't have any in the book."

Edward placed the picture on the other side of the table. "Anthony-"

Before Edward could finish his sentence, Anthony had left his chair again and had moved to the other side of the table where he was attempting to pick up the picture of the dress that Edward had placed there. When Edward saw what Anthony was going for, he put his hand firmly on top of the piece of paper to prevent Anthony from picking it up.

"Hey! I need that!" Anthony yelled.

Edward reared back at the uncharacteristic pitch of Anthony's voice. "Anthony?"

"That's mine! I need it!" he shrieked.

"You do not need this."

"I do, too! I need to take it to Santa so he can know what dress to get Grandma."

"Anthony…" Edward sighed. It would be the third time in a week that he'd had to remind Anthony that his grandmother was in heaven with his mother. And frankly, he was tired of watching the light die in his son's eyes each time he remembered. This morning, Edward just didn't have it in him. "Go get your back pack. You're going to be late for school."

Edward kept his hand on the picture and Anthony got the hint that he wasn't to try and take it as he passed by on his way up the stairs to his room to retrieve his school supplies.

Twenty minutes later, as they made their way to the elementary school, Edward hoped the day would be enough of a distraction for Anthony to keep his mind, and behavior, in check.

But when Edward returned to the campus six hours later, the expression on Bella's face told him his hopes had been in vain.

"How was he today?" Edward asked meekly. He'd stood against the wall with his hands deep in his pockets until the last parent and student had cleared the classroom.

"Well…he was cranky when I kept him in for five minutes at the first recess for refusing to put his crayons away when I asked. And he was sad when he sat on the bench for seven minutes at lunch recess for not lining up with the class and he was downright angry when he lost his last recess completely because he took his neighbor's toy and wouldn't give it back."

"Anthony?" Edward was only slightly shocked at the report he was getting.

Anthony looked up at his father with remorse. Tears filled his eyes as he walked over to the corner of the classroom and rested his face against the crevice between the walls.

"What is going on, Edward?" Bella whispered. "He was having a horrible go of it today, and each time I corrected him, he cried and told me I didn't like him…but then ten minutes later, he'd do something else that had negative consequences. He was pushing and testing my boundaries like never before."

"Yeah, he's doing that at home, too," Edward admitted.

"Is it because of the trip to Salem? He seemed really excited when he told the class about it at sharing time." Suddenly her eyes grew wide and she gestured as if she'd just remembered something. "Oh, are you planning to take him to his mother's gravesite or something?"

Edward grimaced and blanched at the mention of that. "Why?"

"Because he told the class that he was going to see his mother. And I didn't want to make a big deal of it by correcting him in front of the class, but for a minute there it seemed like he didn't know the difference, Edward. Did you talk to his therapist about something like that? Because I don't know if he's ready for that yet."

"I didn't say anything about taking him there. I don't even know where his mother's…" Edward turned to make sure Anthony was occupied before he whispered the last word, "buried."

"Anthony," Bella called him away from his self-inflicted punishment. "Honey, we don't stand in the corner in kindergarten. Come here."

Edward tensed, expecting a show of defiance on Anthony's part, but fortunately, for what sounded like for the first time that day, Anthony complied.

"Why did you go stand in the corner?" Bella bent down so that she and Anthony could chat at eye level.

"Because you don't like me anymore," Anthony answered. He wore a forced scowl upon his face.

"Why would you think that I don't like you, Anthony?" Bella asked.

"Because I was bad."

"You are not bad, Anthony. I don't think that," Bella shook her head. "But there were some choices you made today that really hurt my feelings."

"I'm sorry," Anthony sniffed. And then genuine tears pricked at his eyes.

"I forgive you," Bella held her arms out and Anthony reached over to hug her. "And I love you very much," she affirmed.

Anthony simply nodded.

"But maybe you can tell me and your dad why you think you had such a hard day today. Do you know why?"

Anthony's shoulders drooped as he shook his head.

"Well can you think about it and then maybe you can tell us? Because we want to help you make better choices so that you can have good days and enjoy all of your recesses, okay?" Bella leaned down so that she could look Anthony in the eye. "And you know what else?"

"What?" Anthony asked reluctantly.

"I want you to be excited and happy tonight so you can sing loud and proud for your dad to hear you at our Christmas pageant. What do you think about that?"

"I know all my words!" Anthony said, his eyes bright once again. "And I can shake my bell really loud!"

"I know you can," Bella grinned as she stood up to face Edward.

He had watched the exchange between his son and his girlfriend with mixed emotions. On the one hand, he was glad that Anthony was getting the positive nurturing that he needed but on the other hand, it pissed him off to see his kid pull this manipulative bullshit. And if he was being honest, the way Anthony was acting not only irritated him, but it also scared him. Because he already felt like he'd reached his limit. What if things got even worse?

"Are we riding together to this Christmas thing?" Edward asked.

"I have to be here early and hang around during the refreshments, so unless you want to be here all evening-"

"Yeah. Let's just come together. And then…my place afterward? Stay over?" Edward watched Bella's eyes glance to Anthony before she answered.

"Maybe I should come by after…sleepy time?"

"I thought we weren't hiding."

"It's not _hiding_ per se, it's just…being…modest about it."

Edward sighed. He understood the point that Bella was trying to make, but he also knew that he just wanted her with him. Every day it was getting harder and harder to know how to handle Anthony's outbursts – and he had no one he trusted that he could ask about what he should do. He didn't even want to ask Bella, but just like the episode he'd just witnessed, he could learn from her without her even knowing it. He just needed to see someone else interact with Anthony when he was in the midst of one of the tantrums that were quickly becoming a constant in their lives.

"You know what? I completely forgot that you told Anthony we'd decorate the tree tonight after the Christmas program. So, yeah, I'll just plan to come by your place after I pick up some things from home and then we'll go to the show together. We can decorate before we go," Bella reconsidered.

Edward nodded his agreement. He put his arm around Bella's waist and gave her a slight squeeze before kissing her softly on the cheek. Even though neither of them was acknowledging her selfless act, they both knew what she was doing without it being stated.

"Thanks, babe," Edward whispered.

On the way home from school, Edward considered whether or not he should say something to Anthony about how he'd acted at school. It was true that Bella had handled the situation and Anthony had already been punished. But Anthony really should understand that Edward didn't want him acting that way either. He didn't only have to behave at school – there weren't two sets of rules for conduct.

"Anthony," Edward looked through the rearview mirror to gain Anthony's attention. "What do you think we should do about what happened at school today?"

"I don't know," Anthony said as he played with the locking mechanism on the door next to him.

"I'm very disappointed to hear that you weren't doing what you're supposed to do," Edward said, regurgitating something he'd heard Bella say once. "You know that's not okay with me, right?"

Anthony offered a one-shouldered shrug. "Are you gonna spank me?"

Edward remembered a time when suffering a spanking was the worst punishment he could think of. And it wasn't at the hands of a loving mother or father.

"Do you think I should spank you?" Edward asked.

"No!" Anthony bellowed. He sat forward in his seat to make sure his voice carried. "I already stood in the corner."

"I didn't ask you to stand in the corner," Edward reminded him.

"Awww," Anthony whined, fearful of imminent doom.

"I'm not going to spank you, Anthony," Edward told him. "I won't do that."

"Never?"

"Never." But then thinking Anthony would misunderstand his promise, he added, "but that doesn't mean you'll never be punished. In fact, when we get home, I want you to go up to your room and sit on your bed and think about what you did today. No toys."

Anthony slumped back against the seat. "O-kay," he said, solemnly drawing out the syllables. And once they'd reached their house, Anthony pulled his backpack from the car and followed Edward inside, where he silently went to his room without a fight.

Edward watched him go until a strange odor met his nose and distracted him. He quickly went on a hunt for the origin of the stench and found it concentrated in the kitchen. The culprit turned out to be a bag of trash underneath the sink. Edward quickly opened up a host of windows before taking the offensive sack outside to the trash cans on the side of his garage.

"Excuse me, are you Edward Cullen?"

Edward's head snapped around to see a young woman whom he immediately recognized as his neighbor.

"Yeah?" his declaration came out as a question.

"Okay, I just wanted to make sure," she smiled. "I have a stack of your mail. I didn't mean to hang onto it for so long, but I was out of town and then I hardly ever see you…and I didn't want to just stick it in your box in case I was wrong…" she realized how verbose she was being and trailed off. "I'll just run in and get it."

"Great." Edward lingered in front of his garage.

The woman returned swiftly, and she wasn't kidding; she literally had a stack of his mail.

"Some of it looks kind of official," she pointed at a government envelope.

Edward opened it up to see a social security check inside for Anthony. "I wonder why you got this. It has my right address on it."

"It happens to all of us. I just bit the bullet and got a post office box. So now, basically anything I get is yours," she smiled. "I'm Allie."

"Edward," he said, then smiled because he'd already told her that. "Nice to meet you."

"I've seen you with a little boy. Is that your son?"

"Yeah."

"He is such a cutie."

Edward was about to say that he took after his mother, but he held his tongue in case Allie thought he was fishing for compliments. "Thanks," was what he settled upon.

"Is it just the two of you?" Allie asked bashfully. "I mean, I'm not trying to pry, I've just never seen any other adults…I live alone, so I always get nervous when I see a vehicle I don't recognize."

"It's just me and Anthony that live here, but my girlfriend stops by often. She drives a white truck, so…"

"Oh! Great! Okay, so I don't have to worry about a white truck. Good to know."

Allie's discomfort was making Edward uncomfortable, and he wanted nothing more than to get back inside.

"Well, nice meeting you," he reiterated as he turned and walked away. He heard a little whisper of the same sentiment, but he didn't bother sticking around to clarify it further. Hastily he reentered his home.

And it was a good thing he did.

Deep, lamenting, wailing sobs crossed from the foot of the stairs to where Edward was standing.

"Anthony?" Edward ran over to his son and inspected him for injury. His initial thought was that Anthony had fallen down the stairs. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"D-Don't l-l-leave m-me!" he cried. "I-I'm s-s-sorry!" Anthony's body shook and jerked with each word he tried to get out.

"I didn't leave you," Edward told him. "I just went outside to empty the trash." It was a rational explanation, one that should have made Anthony feel better instead of worse, but Anthony only responded by crying harder and louder.

Edward reached down and picked his son up and cradled him against his chest. "Anthony, I told you, I'm never going to leave you. I'm not going to leave you, Buddy. I promise."

But the crying continued – and it was in this state that Bella found them: Edward trying to console an inconsolable Anthony.

"What happened? Is he hurt?" Bella asked as she let herself in the front door. "I could hear him crying from outside."

Edward just shook his head and continued to sway back and forth has he held Anthony. There was no use trying to explain anything to Bella with all the racket Anthony was making. There was no way she'd hear a word of it.

They moved to the living room and Bella began spreading out the various Christmas ornaments and decorations that she'd brought. She put a CD into the stereo and immediately the sounds of Christmas filled the room. Anthony quieted down a bit to hear it.

"Edward, do you put popcorn on your tree?" she asked.

"Popcorn?" Edward asked. He'd taken a seat on the couch and had Anthony sitting on his lap, his cheek resting against Edward's chest.

Bella motioned toward Anthony, and Edward looked down and nudged him. "Anthony, should we put popcorn on the Christmas tree?"

Anthony indicated that they should not.

"Okay, just tinsel and lights and ornaments. I know that Anthony made some great ornaments at school, but I don't know if he saved them," Bella hinted.

"I did," Anthony said softly.

"Oh, great!" Bella said happily. "Well whenever you want to go get them, you can decide where you want to put them on the tree. They're going to look so nice."

Edward watched Bella as she wound lights onto the small tree. He wanted to help her, but he felt it was more important to let Anthony rest in the security of his arms until he was comfortable enough to get down.

Bella was on her second strand of lights when Anthony shifted one foot down, and then the other. Without an explanation, he moved off Edward's lap and ascended the stairs.

"What the heck happened?" Bella questioned when she knew Anthony couldn't hear her.

"I sent him to his room for how he'd behaved at school," Edward paused to watch for Bella's disapproval of his actions. She simply nodded for him to go on. "And then I took out the garbage. My neighbor came up and said that she had my mail, so I waited a sec while she went and got it for me. By the time I came back in the house, Anthony was having a meltdown. He thought I'd left him."

"Poor baby."

"Do all kids do that?"

Bella shrugged. "Some. And I'm sure any child who's been through what Anthony has would do the same thing."

That wasn't exactly what Edward had wanted to hear. He wanted her to say that Anthony had had a normal reaction to coming downstairs and finding the house empty, and not for a kid who had suffered a traumatic experience.

"Edward, does he have any appointments scheduled before we leave for Oregon?" Bella asked.

"That's what's doing this!" Edward all but yelled. "Ever since I've been taking him to that damn shrink he's turned into this…"

Edward didn't get to finish his thought because Anthony had returned with his box of ornaments and a few toys that for whatever reason he wanted to put on the tree.

The atmosphere was painted with a false sense of holiday cheer as Bella and Edward treaded lightly around Anthony, making sure to keep his mood and spirits high.

After the tree was finished, Bella ran a bubble bath for Anthony and then began getting ready for that evening's Christmas show. Anthony seemed to forget all about his earlier upset and was back to giggling and being excited for the pageant.

Edward felt as if he were in a constant state of holding his breath as they all headed out the door and back to the school. He was silent as he eased Bella's truck down the road and he kept tossing pensive looks back at Anthony wondering if he really was alright, or if this was just the calm before the storm.

But Anthony seemed to do just fine. He stuck close to Bella as she took him with her backstage. He listened and delighted in the company of his classmates. When it came time for the kindergarteners to take the stage, Anthony followed rank and file without a hitch. When he found Edward in the crowd, he jumped and smiled and waved. Edward waved back like all of the other proud parents waving to their kids.

And not unlike the other parents, Edward whipped out his phone and snapped a picture of Anthony singing merrily and jingling all the way. Yet it wasn't until they were back on the road to go home that Edward felt himself finally exhale.

"How are you?" Bella asked after Edward returned to his bedroom from carrying a near-catatonic Anthony to his bed.

"I've had better days," Edward answered honestly. "Anthony is wearing me out."

"But at least you know where it's coming from. You told me the therapist said this would happen."

"Yeah, but she doesn't have to deal with it. I do."

"Which is a good thing, right?"

Edward felt heavy with the guilt of his feelings. "I'm not trying to be a jerk, Bella. I love Anthony, I do. But I can't pretend to know what to do when he freaks out like that," he sighed. "You seem to always know what to do and I don't."

Bella threaded her fingers through Edward's and pulled him toward her. When he took a seat next to her on the bed she leveled him with a serious gaze. "Remember the first time we had a real conversation? At the party at Jasper's?"

Edward scoffed at the wretched memory. "Yeah. You hated me."

"I didn't _hate_ you. I just couldn't believe how you couldn't see past your own needs to the needs of your son. And you kept fighting me on doing what was best for Anthony because it wasn't what was best for you."

"Was I that bad?"

"At the time, I thought you were. But now I know that you were doing the best you could with the tools you had. And now I can't even believe that you were that person before. You're so attentive to what Anthony needs that you're now trying to give beyond your capability and it's depleting you."

There was a message in there somewhere for Edward. He just wasn't sure what it was, or if it was good or bad.

"What do you mean 'give beyond my capability'?"

"You're trying to protect Anthony by keeping him from people who can really help him."

"I took him to therapy."

"Edward, you should be _taking_ him to therapy. You need to commit to the treatment and stop acting like you're going to walk away from it at any minute." Bella paused like she feared what she was next going to say. "You need to be willing to face your fears to help your son face his, Edward."

"What the hell?" Edward asked belligerently. "I'm not _afraid_ of Anthony. I just don't know-"

"I meant the therapists," Bella interrupted.

Edward stuttered and stammered his way around that statement, but he didn't deny it. He knew there was no use. And even though he was beyond irritated that Bella had called him out on it, he knew that she was right.

So on Monday afternoon, Edward left work early to keep an appointment that a week ago he'd been dead set on canceling.

"Mr. Cullen."

Edward stood up when his name was called and followed the receptionist down the hall to Leisel's door.

"Edward," Leisel greeted him warmly. He noticed that there was another woman in the room, someone he didn't recognize. When he paused, Leisel followed his apprehensive gaze, "Edward, this is Ms. Sallows from the Department of Health and Human Services. She is Anthony's new caseworker."

"What happened to the old one?" Edward asked of the woman that he'd only seen twice before.

"She was just a temporary placement," Ms. Sallows answered. She wore a pale olive colored suit and her salt and pepper hair was pulled back into a tight bun. Her face was nearly the same tone as her clothes and it appeared as though she spent quite a bit of time in the sun.

Edward took a seat across from Leisel and waited for her to begin her overview of her continued plan for Anthony's treatment.

"How is Anthony?" Leisel asked out of the blue.

"Fine," was Edward's kneejerk response. But then he remembered what Bella had said, and he recanted. "Actually, he's been having a pretty hard time, lately."

"Oh no," Leisel's face morphed into one of genuine concern. "What happened?"

"He's been…forgetting…it seems like he forgets that his mom and grandmother died. I had to remind him a couple times in one week. And then he's been getting in trouble at school. Not bad stuff," Edward added quickly. He felt like a traitor in telling Leisel Anthony's troubles.

"And what does he say when you ask him about it?"

Edward stared at Leisel blankly. "Nothing." Only, the answer was nothing, because Edward never asked.

"Well, just keep asking," Leisel went on. "You can even draw from your own experience in being separated from your parents to assess what he might be feeling. Even though your parents' conviction caused the separation, it was still forced and permanent. I'm sure you can still relate."

Edward bristled at her bringing up his past, but he held his attitude in check until she'd finished speaking. Then, he pulled a tattered piece of paper out of his pocket and laid it on her desk. In signing it, Edward was acknowledging Leisel as more than a therapist advising the school and the district on the mental health and cognitive ability of a child. He was giving her the freedom to listen, to assess and to help his child in a way that he knew he could not.

Leisel looked up at Edward and smiled. "You said Thursdays were the best day for appointments, right?"

Edward nodded.

"Mr. Cullen," Ms. Sallow's voice reminded him that she was still in the room. "I will monitor Anthony's progress through this office for a period of six months. If there are recommendations for supplemental courses of treatment during that time, you and I can meet to discuss how to go about making that happen." When she stood up, Edward realized that he was being dismissed. He stood up as well.

"We'll schedule Anthony's appointment after the start of the new year. Amy can get you set up in a time slot that works best for you."

Edward did as he was told and made an appointment with Amy before he hightailed it out of that office.

Suddenly he felt like he couldn't breathe. All the way home he tugged at the collar of his shirt and alternated between letting the windows down and blasting the air conditioning. He felt hot and cold and angry and sad, all at the same time.

His inability to gain control over his emotions made him beyond grateful that Bella had offered to watch Anthony at his place. Since the Winter Break was now underway at school, Anthony was able to gain a few more hours of sleep and getting ready for work had been a breeze for Edward. And now, that he seemed to be having some kind of lung failure, it was nice to be able to go straight home instead of driving across town to Bella's apartment.

"Hi, Dad!" Anthony greeted him when Edward walked through the door. He took no notice of his father's disheveled demeanor. "I get to get you a Christmas present with Miss Bella tomorrow!"

"Oh…that's…great," Edward said, still tugging at the neckline of his shirt. He finally just pulled the garment over his head and headed up the stairs to his room.

He expected to hear Bella's footsteps pattering up the stairs behind him, but after he'd sat on his bed for a good ten minutes and then locked himself in his bathroom for a shower, Bella still hadn't appeared.

The shower had worked to make him feel a little bit better. He at least felt human when he went back downstairs to greet Anthony and Bella properly.

"What do you want for Christmas, Dad?" Anthony asked as he jumped on Edward's back.

"Whatever you want to give me," Edward responded.

"So if I get you a-"

"You can't tell him, Anthony. It has to be a surprise," Bella blocked before informing Edward, "I'm taking him Christmas shopping with Alice and Rosalie tomorrow."

Edward went over to her and sat behind her on the floor. He wrapped his arms around her waist and drew her back against him.

"What do you want for Christmas?" he asked her.

"Dinner with my favorite father and son duo," she winked at him.

"And what else?" he leaned down and discreetly kissed her behind her ear.

"I don't know. What do you want?" she deflected.

Edward trailed the tips of his fingers along the top of Bella's hands as he considered what he was going to ask her for.

It had taken a little while for his subconscious to catch up with his conscious mind – and then a bit of time after that for his mind to accept what his brain was trying to feed him.

Bella mistook his silence for a request of a sexual nature.

"You don't have to wait until Christmas for that," she whispered as she flipped her hand over and grasped on to his.

Edward laughed lightly. "I _wouldn't_ wait until Christmas for that. In fact…" he faked looking at a wrist watch.

During this playful banter, Anthony watched his father with rapt attentiveness. When Edward noticed, he started to move away from Bella and limit their contact, wondering if his son had ever seen affection expressed between a man and a woman.

But on second thought, he changed course and held his arm out to Anthony. Readily, Anthony catapulted himself off the sofa and onto the floor where he snuggled in between his father and Bella. He giggled when Bella tickled his tummy.

"You still haven't told me what you want for Christmas," she looked up at Edward through dizzyingly happy eyes.

Edward exhaled slowly. "Leisel said something today when I was in her office…" he held Bella's gaze earnestly. "I need you to tell me what my mother told you."

* * *

Thanks to everyone who participated in the Trailer Trash Cullen contest. There is a link on my profile to view the stories and a poll under the SN of TrailerTrashCullenContest on ff (dot) net where you can anonymously vote for your favorite entry

Thanks to everyone who participated in the Eclipse edition of FGB. For those who joined Team ItzMegan, I am working on an outtake for you right now!

This story is also available to be read on Twilighted and A Different Forest.

Have a great day!


	29. Chapter 29 Girl Fight Tonight

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 29 – Girl Fight Tonight**

Bella resembled a guppy as she opened and closed her mouth in succession. Edward was standing before her expectantly, but she just couldn't stop the loop of indecision that was running through her mind.

Originally, she had been firm in her decision not to tell Edward what his mother had said. She'd felt it was imperative that when Edward found out the truth about his childhood, his mother should be the one standing in front of him providing all the details.

However, Edward, in all of his stubborn splendor, had proven that if Bella didn't tell him what Esme had said, he'd most likely never find out. So it was for that reason that she was seated on Edward's sofa swallowing her conviction and waiting for him to return from tucking Anthony in for the night.

When Edward arrived back downstairs, he sat down next to Bella with his clasped hands lolling between his knees.

"You're not going to tell me, are you?" he asked, his eyes on the carpet beneath his feet.

"I'll tell you," Bella paused when she saw the shocked expression on Edward's face. "But I'd like you to agree to one thing."

"I'm not calling her, Bella."

"Edward," Bella threw her hands up in exasperation. "There are going to be things you don't understand and instead of dismissing them, or asking me to try to explain, I think you should at least be open to letting her clarify things for you."

"Fine," Edward relented. "I'll be _open_ to it." He wasn't agreeing to call his mother, but Bella knew it was the best she was going to get from him.

"Okay, so…I don't know where to start. Why don't you just tell me what Leisel said that got under your skin," Bella suggested.

"She said that my parents' conviction caused our separation, or something like that. But my parents weren't actually convicted of anything…right?"

Edward looked so hopeful, but for what, Bella wasn't sure. Did he want to be wrong or did he want to be right?

"Edward, have you ever heard of the Adoption and Safe Families Act?" When Edward indicated that he hadn't, Bella continued. "It's a law that basically emancipates children from their parents once they've been in the foster care system for over fifteen months." Bella felt like she was starting in the middle of the story, but her mind was racing for a way to tear down all of Edward's defenses to what she was about to say before they'd even had a chance to form.

"Your mother says that you were never actually on trial," she said.

"That's not true," Edward interrupted. "I remember sitting in that courtroom with the judge and the police officer in the tan uniform…"

"That was a hearing. They were just presenting facts and evidence for the purpose of charging the guilty party. And as a result of that hearing, your parents were charged with third-degree murder, neglect and negligence."

"That's bullshit," Edward said, but it didn't sound like he believed it.

"This is what your mother told me, Edward," Bella reminded him. He backed down under her gaze, and Bella went on. "Fortunately the third degree murder charge didn't stick, but in the time it took to sift through that and the other charges, you had been in the foster care system so long that they terminated your parents' parental rights. Your parents had no choice."

"That doesn't make any sense," Edward protested.

Bella kept speaking. She knew there was no better defense than the facts of the situation, as she knew them.

"Once you became a ward of the state, your parents were locked out of getting any information on you. And then you were moved out of state." It was something that Bella hadn't heard him speak about, so she inquired. "What state did you move to?"

"Oregon," Edward answered softly.

Bella sat back against the back of the couch and watched Edward closely. "Like Anthony?"

Edward shook his head. "I was just on the other side of the border and I didn't stay there long. A few weeks, maybe."

Bella could tell that though Edward wasn't taking in the information with an open-arms reception, he _was_ listening, and so far, he hadn't been able to find any large holes in Esme's explanation.

"So I'm supposed to believe that in all the time I sat rotting in that cage of a house they had me in, my parents were, what? Locked up?" he asked.

Bella shrugged. "I don't know; I didn't ask. I do know that it takes a long time for a case to actually make it to trial. Maybe they were on some type of house arrest or something while they were waiting?" Bella suggested. "See, this is why I wanted you to ask your mother yourself. You're going to have all these questions that I can't answer."

"I just want to know what she told you. That's all. You don't have to fill in the blanks," Edward told her.

So that is exactly what Bella did. For the next forty minutes, she sat beside Edward and told him exactly what Esme had told her, pausing only when Edward needed her to repeat something, or when he simply needed a moment to absorb it all.

"My dad," Edward stated softly after a lengthy period of silence, "is crazy?"

"Not crazy," Bella said, remembering what Esme had said of her husband. "He just hasn't spoken in over a decade…well not until he saw you that day. Your mother said that he'd never spoken about you in that way, though. I can't remember the term she used but she said that therapy, medication, and begging have no effect on him. He simply doesn't talk."

In all the time that Bella had been holding on to the nuggets of information concerning Edward's past, she'd imagined what Edward's reaction would be once he discovered what she knew. She'd imagined him being overcome with emotion, breaking down into sobs at knowing that he hadn't been voluntarily rejected by his parents. She'd imagined him rushing to his mother in a monumental reunion, welcoming her into his life and grasping at opportunities to make up for lost time.

Of course, realistically, she knew the Edward that she'd come to know and love was not the sort of man to display dramatic emotional reactions, but she _had_ expected something beyond the complacent man that sat before her.

"Edward?" she leaned down to look into his downcast eyes. "Are you overwhelmed?"

"Huh?" he shivered, as if shaking off a bad thought. "Uh, no. No, I'm just…listening."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Bella was immediately dazzled by Edward's sly, sideways grin. "Isn't that what we've been doing for almost an hour?"

"Edward, you know what I mean," Bella playfully swatted at him.

He let out an utterance of disingenuous laughter. "No, I'm good."

He'd just found out that everything he'd known about his childhood wasn't true and he was _good_?

"Are you sure?" Bella asked as she rested her hand on his thigh.

"Yeah." Edward stood up, effectively removing Bella's hand from touching him. "Man, I'm beat."

She watched him closely, trying to decipher if he truly was tired or if he simply wanted to distance himself from her.

When she asked him if he wanted her to stay, and he responded with, "That's okay. I'll just see you tomorrow," Bella knew that he needed to take the time on his own to process things in his own way.

And she was completely fine with that.

So the next morning, when he dropped Anthony off at five-fifteen in the morning, his last day of work before his vacation officially started, Bella greeted him with no hard feelings.

"I'm taking Anthony shopping with Alice and Rosalie today in Port Angeles. I'll give you a call if we're going to be late," Bella said after Edward had kissed her hello.

Edward nodded but made no indication that he had a problem with anything.

"So we're taking off early tomorrow morning, right?" Bella asked, searching for a signal as to how Edward was feeling that morning.

"Yeah. I just need to get some sleep after my shift and then I'll swing by?" Edward asked.

"Oh…right," Bella answered, wondering why he just didn't want her to stay the night.

"Is that okay?" he asked, seemingly reading her mind.

Bella rushed to hide her disappointment at spending the evening without Edward; instead she forced herself to focus on the time they would have together during their upcoming trip to Oregon.

"Yeah, that's great," she said.

Edward leaned in for one last kiss, reaching around and pinching her on the bottom as he did so.

Bella was happy to see his playful side return, and therefore, she made sure to make no mention of what they'd talked about the night before lest it catapult him back into a sour mood. Instead, she focused her attention on Anthony – getting him rested, fed and dressed before Alice and Rosalie showed up a few hours later to whisk them off to Port Angeles.

"Do you have to go potty?" Alice asked Anthony just as she, Bella and Rosalie were ready to depart.

"I already went," Anthony scowled at being asked what he felt was a personal question.

"Oh. Good. Well, do you need snacks or…something?" Alice looked over at Bella for assistance.

"We're ready," Bella simply said. "Let's go."

Yet Bella noticed that Alice's misplaced doting didn't end at the door. Once they were safely seated in the car, Alice fretted over the placement of the booster seat, the seatbelt and whether or not there would be too much UV exposure through the back window.

"I swear, if you don't relax, I'm going to open this door and throw myself out of a moving vehicle," Rosalie told her.

"Well excuse me for caring about child safety," Alice hissed.

At the utterance of Alice's words, Rosalie threw her back and let out a boisterous guffaw. When she saw how hurt Alice looked at her laughter, she offered an apology of sorts. "I'm sorry Alice, but aren't you the same person who fastened that pacifier clip to Jasper's cousin's baby's skin?"

"Her mother said to clip it to her so that it didn't fall off! How was I supposed to know it didn't go on skin?" Alice asked in frustration.

"How were you supposed to know…" Bella let out a flustered sputter. "Seriously, Alice? You pinched the baby's skin?"

Rosalie and Bella were laughing, and they expected their friend to join in as well. Surely Alice could see the absurdity of not knowing that adhering a clamp to a baby's tender skin was certainly going to hurt. But instead of seeing the humor in the situation after the fact, Alice burst into tears. In fact, she began crying so hard that she pulled over on the side of the road and leaned over to rest her head on the steering wheel as she sobbed.

Rosalie turned from her place in the front seat and looked back at Bella, who was sitting in the rear with Anthony.

"Alice?" Bella asked softly. Maybe she hadn't yet recovered from the notion of making a baby cry. Perhaps it was too soon to make jokes?

"You're right," Alice said silently. "I'm horrible with children."

"I didn't say you were horrible," Rosalie said as she nudged Alice's arm in a gesture that hinted for her friend to lighten up. "Just…a little shallow in the knowledge department. And you know I'm not being critical, Alice. I think I bought Anthony dog toys instead of kid toys when I first met him. I'm no better."

Alice shook her head insistently, refusing to accept Rosalie's sentiment. "No. You're right. It's true. I'm going to be a horrible mom," she cried.

"No you won't," Bella said as she leaned forward to pat Alice on the shoulder.

"I will," Alice wailed. "I told Jasper I can't do this. I told him!"

Rosalie and Bella exchanged curious glances, until finally Alice clarified the matter for them.

"I'm pregnant," she announced unenthusiastically.

Rosalie gasped in shock as Bella squealed in delight. "That's great, Alice. Congratulations!" Bella praised.

"Are you serious?" Rosalie was dumbfounded.

Alice nodded as she wiped her nose. Before Alice offered to tell the story of how she found out, Rosalie talked Alice into letting her drive, in order to give Alice the leisure of talking without trying to focus on the road.

"About three months ago," Alice began as Rosalie maneuvered them back onto the highway, "I started feeling really tired all the time. I mean _really_ tired. Then came what Jasper calls 'the weepies'. I just couldn't stop crying. Every little thing he did or said – waterfall of tears," Alice gestured to her face. "Anyway, after I was late, I tested and _viola! _Pregnant."

"Is Jasper excited?" Bella asked, beaming.

Alice shrugged. "He says he is, but I think he's just as freaked out as I am. Every so often I catch him sitting in front of the television watching those baby delivery shows on the Discovery Channel. He looks as horrified as I feel."

"So you're not happy about it?" Bella frowned. She was wary of how Alice would answer the question with Anthony in the car.

"No, I am. I mean, when I think of having this little bundle that is part Jasper and part me, it's amazing. But then, when I think about everything that's going to change…I don't know…I just feel like there's no way on earth to feel prepared for this."

"So wait," Rosalie called out suddenly. "You're three months pregnant?" she stole a glance at Alice's abdomen with the roadway was clear.

"Everything I read said that you shouldn't tell anyone until you've completed the first trimester, so that's what I did. I've read everything I can get my hands on and I still feel like I don't know anything. It's so overwhelming," Alice complained.

"But isn't that the fun of the journey?" Bella asked. "That's the adventure of parenting."

"Spoken like a woman with no kids," Rosalie muttered.

Before Bella could protest, Alice looked over the seat at Anthony, who was watching the women around him with keen interest.

"I'm trying to learn all I can, but Edward is the only person I know with kids. I mean, there's the people I work with, but I don't really know them. And you know how people act all fake and shit with people they don't know. Everyone wants you to think they're mommy of the year. Nobody tells you about the days they feed their kid cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner, or when they turn their kids underwear inside out because they didn't have time to do the laundry," Alice said.

"Okay…that's gross," Rosalie grimaced.

"I like cereal for dinner," Anthony added. And then he looked confused when all the women around him started laughing.

Once Alice's secret was out, the atmosphere inside the car turned much lighter. Alice recited her joy at being able to eat whatever she wanted at the holidays and having an excuse for weight gain and how she could use Christmas _and_ a baby shower to get necessary items for the new addition to her family.

"How come you haven't gotten a Christmas tree yet?" Rosalie asked Bella suspiciously as she eyed her through the rearview mirror.

Bella shrugged. "My apartment is really small and the one I picked out fit well in Edward's house. I didn't see the importance in getting another one."

"Wow. Things sound really…serious between you two," Rosalie hinted.

"Why, because we're sharing a Christmas tree? Maybe we just want to conserve waste," Bella stated, but the smile she wore hinted that Rosalie was perhaps more correct.

"Hey, if you think your apartment is small, you might be interested to know that my across-the-street neighbor said that she's going to be selling her house after the first of the year. She's moving to Florida to live with her sister," Alice said.

"Don't even bother. I've been trying to get Bella to buy a house for as long as I've known her and she won't do it," Rosalie said sourly.

"I didn't say I wouldn't _ever_ do it. I just wouldn't do it just for the sake of doing it. But I really like the neighborhood Alice lives in, and there are some great first time buyer incentives for teachers…" Bella thought out loud.

"Are you kidding me?" Rosalie pounded the steering wheel. "The minute I get out of real estate, you decide to buy a house?"

"I told you I liked that neighborhood, and besides, nobody said you had to move. That was your decision." Bella tossed her hair over her shoulder.

Surprisingly, Rosalie had no immediate comeback to those words. Then, before switching on the radio, she silently lamented, "I think I've just had that moment where you realize all of your friends are grown up and moving on and leaving you behind."

"That's not true," Alice argued, touching her friend's arm with empathy.

"It is true." Now it was Rosalie's turn to be insistent. "You're going to be somebody's mom and Bella, for all intents and purposes, already is. You guys are working and making strides in your lives and I'm just going backwards."

Bella wanted to be more encouraging to Rosalie but she was distracted by what her friend had just said about her being somebody's mother, or more specifically, Anthony's mother. Though she loved him more than she ever thought she could love a child that wasn't her own flesh and blood, it had never been her intent to take the place of his mother, and especially not so early in the loss of his lineage. It frightened her that Anthony thought this was what she was doing; that she was trying to fill a spot that he wasn't yet ready to see the vacancy in.

Suddenly she wondered if her decision to tagalong to Oregon was a good one.

Fortunately, the hustle and bustle of the holiday shopping crowd was enough to temporarily shelf all of Bella's insecurities and doubts on the matter. She had to be sharp and focused if she was going to keep up with Anthony, who kept running off every time he saw something new and exciting.

"That boy needs a leash," Alice said, then immediately covered her mouth in horror. "That's a bad mommy move, isn't it?"

"Not if it means the difference between losing your kid and keeping him safe," Rosalie answered. "Even I know that."

Bella didn't agree, but she kept her comments to herself. Instead, she admonished Anthony to hold her hand at all times and then promised to reward him by taking him to the toy store if he was able to comply.

That seemed to work just fine.

Anthony was happily moving from action figure to action figure when he looked past Bella and froze. Worried, Bella glanced over her shoulder to see what had stopped Anthony in his tracks. All she saw was Alice trying to convince Rosalie to buy her an early baby shower present.

"What's the matter, buddy?" Bella lightly touched Anthony on his arm.

His eyes shot to hers frantically and he quickly flew to her side and held up his hands for Bella to pick him up.

Anthony was definitely the smallest kindergartener in her class – and in the entire school – but he was still a five-year-old boy, and therefore not the lightest person to carry. But from the shuddering movements of his body, Bella could see that it wasn't the time to point that out.

"What is it?" she asked instead as she scooped him up in her arms.

"I wanna go home," said his small voice, muffled into her shoulder.

By this time, Alice and Rosalie had caught sight of Bella struggling to hold Anthony steadily and they walked over to see what was going on.

"Did he get hurt?" Alice asked.

"I don't know," Bella stated, perplexed. "He was just standing there looking at the toys, and then the next thing I know, he's running over wanting me to pick him up."

"He's shaking," Rosalie observed when she placed a hand on his back.

Bella knew what was coming next and she immediately began moving toward the exit. "Anthony, I think we should go potty now, okay? We had that bottle of water in the car so it's probably time to go."

Just as she made it towards the front, there seemed to be a mad dash to the cash registers and Bella had to stand idly by for a moment while she waited for a clearing so that she could leave.

All off a sudden, someone bumped her hard from behind – so hard, in fact, that she almost dropped Anthony.

"Excuse me!" Bella exclaimed as she turned to face the impatient person.

And then everything suddenly made sense; for there, behind her, was Vicki.

"Yeah, excuse _you_," Vicki said snidely. "You're in my way."

Anthony began to fret and fuss that he wanted to go home as he tightened his grip around Bella's neck.

"I see Edward still has you working your way onto your back," Vicki said spitefully as she nodded in indication toward Anthony.

"Bitch, you'd better be glad my hands are full," Bella told her, nearly choking from how tight Anthony's hold was. She tried to put him down, but that only made him latch on more forcefully.

A hushed silence fell over the store as patrons moved away from what looked like a brewing brawl. Vicki had just enough time to scoff at Bella's quasi-threat before a store manager came over and sternly required them to leave her store. And of course, since an Anthony-clad Bella was walking in the same direction as Vicki, Anthony nearly had a panic attack. Thankfully, he'd managed to remain dry thus far.

"Sweetheart," Bella said once she was finally able to pry Anthony off her, "you're fine. I'm not going to let her anywhere near you, okay? She's not going to hurt you."

But then Bella looked up and saw that Vicki actually had the audacity to be standing nearby. When she saw Bella glance her way, she sauntered over in a threatening manner.

"I just want you to know that that little stunt you pulled about calling my client's family and telling them I was abusing their mother nearly cost me my job. Luckily I was able to convince them that it was the ramblings of some bitter and jealous harpy trying to blame some retarded kid's problems on me-"

Vicki's head snapped backwards from the force of a fist connecting with her mouth.

Bella looked down at her fist and opened and closed her hand a few times as she tested the muscles, almost feeling the force that had overpowered Vicki. She'd wanted to punch Vicki for so long; daydreamed about it, even.

Only, she hadn't.

Bella glanced to her left to see Rosalie standing next to her wringing out her hand from the sting of the contact.

"What are you doing?" Bella hissed at her.

"What you can't," Rosalie said back. "You really want her to be able to call you on fighting in front of one of your students?"

Before Bella could answer, Vicki had regained her footing and made a dash for her, as if she hadn't yet realized that it was Rosalie who had assaulted her, and not Bella. Rosalie again interceded and grabbed Vicki by her hair. Vicki clawed at the air aimlessly but only managed to grab Rosalie's shirt and rip it, causing it to hang in a rather revealing matter.

"What should I do?" Alice asked Bella. "I can't pull them apart. I'm pregnant!"

"Get Anthony out of here," Bella said as she pushed up her sleeves. She needed to get at least one shot in with Vicki. She had to, for Anthony.

"Bella, you're not going to do what I think you're going to do, are you?" Alice asked cautiously.

"What? Let Rosalie fight my battles for me? No, I'm not," Bella said as she stepped forward.

Alice grabbed her forcefully and pointed to Anthony who was cowering down near a large potted plant with his hands covering his eyes. "What's more important?"

One look at Anthony and Bella needed no more convincing. She quickly pulled him up and held him tightly.

"You're okay, Anthony. Sssh…I'm right here," she consoled him.

But Anthony wasn't crying. He was watching the mall police arrive and pull apart the two warring women.

Everything suddenly seemed to shift into slow motion. Bella shielded Anthony from listening and watching as Rosalie resituated her blouse and Vicki spit out a bloody tooth before being cuffed and led away by two uniformed officers.

People began to point at Bella and Alice and before long, they were summoned to the mall security station and questioned about what happened. Bella was pleased to find out that a few of the shoppers in the toy store had corroborated her story about how Vicki had purposefully pushed into her when Bella had had her back turned.

Unfortunately, Rosalie wasn't as lucky. Though there was no merchandise ruined during the course of the scuffle, it was pretty clear that Vicki had every intention of pressing charges against Rosalie. Over and over Vicki kept spouting off that Rosalie shouldn't have even been involved, that the issue was between herself and Bella.

And for that reason, four hours later when two members of the Washington State Patrol showed up on Bella's front porch, no one was really surprised. Since Rosalie no longer had a residence of her own due to her imminent move, she had given Bella's apartment number as her own. And that was exactly where she was when the law enforcement came looking for her.

Bella racked her brain trying to figure out the best way to help Rosalie, who seemed unscathed by the fact that the recent turn of events most likely meant that she couldn't leave the area, and therefore wouldn't be able to start her new job.

"I don't think she really wants to go," Alice said later after Rosalie was gone.

"You don't think she sabotaged her job on purpose, do you?" Bella wondered.

"No, but sometimes our subconscious has a way of overpowering our actions, I guess," Alice shrugged.

Alice profusely apologized for not being able to stay. She said that she needed to get home to make dinner for Jasper, and to have what she called her "first dinner", but moments after she left, Edward called and alerted Bella that Alice had been up to something else as well.

"Sounds like you've had a busy day," Edward said when he'd called her just minutes after his shift ended.

"You could say that," Bella said, assuming that he listened to the variety of messages she'd left on his phone since Rosalie was carted off by the police. "I feel like the biggest shit. I didn't do _anything._"

"What could you do, babe? If anything would've happened to you the consequences would have been far worse for you than for Rosalie."

"How can you say that? Rosalie is in jail because she hit Vicki unprovoked, but there were witnesses who could testify that Vicki pushed me – she started it."

"Well, she still started it. Rosalie told the cops that she stepped in because you were carrying Anthony and that Vicki was acting like she was gonna go for him as well. I don't think the charges will stick."

"I wish I could get a hold of Rosalie. I just need to know if she's okay. I can't leave town tomorrow without knowing, and she hasn't called me," Bella said frantically.

"Well…," Edward hesitated, "I told Emmett I'd go up to Port Angeles with him tonight to bail her out."

"_Emmett_ is bailing Rosalie out of jail?" Bella couldn't believe her ears.

"Alice called him crying about not knowing what to do. Emmett tried to act like he didn't care, but when Rosalie called him about an hour later, he gave in and said he'd pick her up," Edward explained.

"How much is her bail?"

"Five hundred."

"Okay. I think I should pay at least half."

"No way! Nobody told Rosalie to go full throttle in front of a bunch of witnesses. She could have used her head like I did and reported her to her employer, but no, Rosalie had to go all Rambo on her ass. That's her own fuckin' fault. She can pay her own two-hundred and fifty. I'll pay the rest."

"Edward?"

"I'll gladly pay two-hundred and fifty for the shot to the mouth Rosalie handed her for takin' a shot at you and Anthony. But for five hundred, I would have at least wanted to see it," Edward laughed.

The conversation was cut short when Edward made it to his car, but because he didn't want to leave for Port Angeles without first spending a little time with Anthony and Bella, he agreed to meet Emmett at Bella's apartment and they planned to leave from there.

"You're going to be so tired," Bella told Edward later when he was standing in front of her in her kitchen. She ran her fingers through his hair and kissed his lips. "You won't be back until midnight, if not later."

Edward nodded in agreement. "Do you mind if we leave a little later tomorrow for Oregon?"

"We can, or I could drive the first leg of the trip," Bella offered.

Emmett burst through the front door and overpowered Edward's answer.

"A little ho-down throw-down in the 360, eh?" Emmett boomed upon entry.

Bella rolled her eyes. "If you mean that Vicki is a ho and that Rosalie threw her down, then yes, there was a ho-down throw-down."

Emmett laughed. "So tell me what happened. Alice kept cryin' and shit and I couldn't understand what she was sayin'.

So Bella recounted the entire story from when Vicki accidentally on purpose knocked into her until the police came to her door and took Rosalie back to the jurisdiction of the crime.

Emmett let out a low whistle when Bella had completed her narrative. "Bitches be crazy." And of course he said it just in time for Anthony to emerge from his late afternoon nap. Thankfully the little boy wasn't aware of what he was hearing.

"Hi, Daddy!" Anthony's face lit up when he saw his father leaning against the entryway wall.

Bella watched as Edward leaned down so that Anthony could climb up on him.

"Hey, buddy," he greeted his son. "I heard you had kind of a scary day."

Anthony nodded. "Rosalie loosed Vicki's tooth," he whispered.

"Yeah, I'm sorry you had to see that, but remember I told you that Vicki would never hurt you again, and she didn't, did she?" Edward asked.

Anthony shook his head vigorously.

"That's because you have a bunch of people surrounding you that would never let that happen, okay," Edward said.

Bella sighed wistfully as she watched the scene unfold before her. How could Edward ever doubt that he was a good father?

"I'm gonna take a ride with Emmett for a little bit. Do you want to stay here with Bella?" Edward asked. He looked over at Bella and his eyes said what his mouth did not. He was visually apologizing for not asking her first if Anthony could stay.

"I want to go with you," Anthony stated, fully prepared to pout.

"You can't, bud. Not this time."

"But, Dad, I hardly see'd you today."

"He can ride along. It's not like he has school tomorrow," Emmett piped up.

Edward swore under his breath as he turned and looked over his shoulder at Emmett. "I'm not gonna take my kid to go bail someone out of j-a-i-l," he spelled the last word.

"You guys don't even have to come inside. You can drop me off and then circle back around and come pick us up," Emmett suggested.

Edward looked over to Bella for her approval, and though she never in a million years would have thought she'd suggest such an excursion for a young child, she couldn't deny a little boy time with his father – especially when he had already missed out on so much as it was.

"If you guys stay in the car…" Bella shrugged.

Edward rolled his eyes up to the ceiling. "This is so Jerry Springer," he said before telling Anthony to go put on his shoes. "I swear, if either of you give me shit about this later…"

"This entire day has been Jerry Springer worthy. What's one more thing?" Emmett chided.

Edward was about to change his mind based upon Emmett's comment but Bella pulled him in and kissed him on the mouth. "He just wants to be with his daddy," she said softly.

"Either you take him along and show him that you're there for him when he expresses how much he needs you and you show him what it looks like to be there for a friend," Bella pointed out, "or you can stay home with him, but if you leave him behind-"

"It'll crush him," Edward finished.

Anthony speedily re-appeared with his shoes untied and on the wrong feet. "I'm ready!" he announced.

"Come on," Emmett led Anthony through the front door and toward Edward's car. "Let's give these lovebirds a minute."

"What's a lovebird?" It was the last thing Bella and Edward heard before Emmett and Anthony disappeared behind the closed door.

"Sorry to run off like this, but I have to go," Edward said.

"Yeah, you do," Bella agreed. "Rosalie did a great thing for Anthony today, even if it probably would have been better if he wasn't there to witness it."

"You know I'm crazy for taking him to the jail."

"So don't take him _to_ the jail, take him _by_ the jail," Bella grinned. "As far as Anthony is concerned, he's just going for a ride with his dad." Bella tilted her head slightly as she wrapped her arms around Edward's neck. "His wonderful and awesome dad."

"You know I wouldn't know half of what I do if it wasn't for you, right?" Edward asked as he held Bella close. "I'm so glad you're coming with us to Oregon." Edward stared into Bella's eyes for a long while as if he were going to say something else. Finally he smiled and whispered, "I love you."

"I love you, too," Bella returned as she snuggled against him. "And I'll be all packed and ready to spend the entire week with you starting tomorrow."

Edward shook his head as he leaned in for a kiss. "Starting tonight. I'll be home in a few hours. Use your key."

* * *

360 is the area code in Port Angeles, WA.


	30. Chapter 30 Caravan of Love

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 30 – Caravan of Love**

Edward silently listened to the hum of the tires against the road as he contemplated not only the long drive ahead of him, but also the upcoming trip to Oregon.

"You didn't have to come you know," Emmett said, interrupting Edward's thoughts.

"I thought you wanted me to come," Edward looked over at him.

"I wanted to use your car. I didn't say _you_ needed to come with it."

Edward shrugged. "It's no big deal."

"It looked like Bella wanted you to stay with her," Emmett stated in observation.

"Bella's cool," Edward sighed. "With just about everything."

Emmett glanced over at Edward with a raised eyebrow. "That's a good thing, right?" he asked with confusion.

Edward looked over his shoulder and saw that Anthony was sitting quietly in the back, his eyes and ears steeled on his father. And Edward knew that since he'd had a catnap at Bella's place, it was highly unlikely that Anthony was going to sleep anytime soon.

Therefore, "Yeah," was all Edward offered.

Soon a sign displaying golden arches came into view and even though he couldn't see him, Edward heard Anthony perk up in the back seat.

"I'm hungry!" he exclaimed. "I want a Happy Meal!"

Emmett looked over at Edward. "You want to stop?"

"He's not hungry," Edward said unenthusiastically. "He just wants the toy."

"I am hungry," Anthony argued.

"Bella already gave you dinner. I saw it: fish sticks and tater tots."

"Yeah, but my tummy's still hungry."

Edward sighed as Emmett shrugged. "It's not like the food will hurt him. I mean…well, he could stand a few extra calories."

Edward's hand shot down from where it was supporting his cheek as he leaned against the cool glass of the window.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked defensively.

"Nothing bad," Emmett backpedaled. "It's just that I saw Craig's kid at that health fair last week," he said of their mutual co-worker, "and that kid is only three but he's tall, like Craig…and you're like six feet."

"So?" Edward asked indignantly. And then, before he could even think about what he was saying, he added, "My sister was small like that."

A few seconds escaped and Emmett reached over and fiddled with the stereo controls. For a moment Edward thought his slip of the tongue had gone undetected.

But then Emmett looked over at him.

"I've known you, what…six or seven years? And not once have you ever mentioned the fact that you have a sister." And then, of course, because Emmett is Emmett, "Is she hot?"

Edward ignored the question, and Emmett mistook the lack of acknowledgement for anger.

"I'm just kiddin'," he laughed. "You know I'm not even lookin'."

"That's just what you want me to tell Rosalie when she asks," Edward said, coming alive again.

Emmett frowned then, and his jovial, playful demeanor diminished. "You think I'm a pussy for going to bail her out, don't you?"

"I didn't say that," Edward said. And he didn't think that…well not anymore. At first, when Emmett had mentioned that Rosalie had called him and that he was going to help her out, Edward had been put off by the memory of how Rosalie had ended the relationship for someone else, yet when the going got rough, she came running straight back to Emmett.

Then Edward considered how he felt about Bella, and how he would feel if she decided to leave him for someone who didn't have all the baggage he had; someone who could give her more than he could. Of course, just like Emmett had had to let Rosalie go, Edward would have to let Bella go – but that didn't mean that every day that they were apart he wouldn't hope and pray that she would return to him. Sure, he'd put up a good front, saying that it was her loss and that he didn't really care, just like Emmett had. But on the inside Edward knew that he'd be half a man and he'd let her back in the second he had a chance.

Just like Emmett.

"No, I don't think that," Edward said. "I get it."

"Mm," Emmett grunted. He didn't elaborate any further, for he knew he didn't need to.

They'd managed to pass up the first fast-food establishment without stopping, but by the time they neared the next one, twenty miles further down the highway, both Emmett and Anthony were whimpering for sustenance. Edward was ready to eat as well, so they pulled through the drive-thru before continuing their journey.

"I'm thinking about asking Bella to move in with me," Edward blurted out, a few miles outside of Port Angeles.

"Whoa." Emmett reached over and turned off the heater.

"Yeah," Edward said, feeling the enormity of his revelation now that he'd said it out loud. "I know."

"I knew things were going well, but I didn't know they were going _that_ well," Emmett said.

"It's too soon, isn't it?" Edward said, confessing his most prominent worry.

Emmett shrugged. "I'm the last person you should be getting relationship advice from." He paused a moment and then went on. "But, if it feels right, then…I don't know…Did you weigh your pros and cons and all that bullshit?" Emmett looked sheepishly back at Anthony through the rearview mirror, before awaiting Edward's answer.

Edward tortured his hair a moment by tugging on it. "That's the thing," he said. "If I think about the pros and cons from Bella's perspective, there are a ton of cons. But if I think about it from my perspective, there's a ton pros and only one con."

"What's the con?" Emmett asked, munching on his second cheeseburger.

"If I ask her to move in right now, I could potentially mess up everything we've got going for us and completely destroy this relationship," Edward answered.

"So wait," Emmett shrugged.

Edward's laugh that followed was humorless. "Of course! Why didn't I think of that?" he rolled his eyes sarcastically. "Do you know how many times in the past week I've almost slipped and asked her? It's like the question has a will of its own and is just dying to get out."

Emmett shrugged again. "Then ask her."

If Edward had been positive that he'd had Emmett's full attention when Emmett made that statement, he probably would have asked his friend if he'd heard a word he'd been saying in the past fifteen minutes.

But Edward was positive that he _didn't_ have Emmett's full attention, as they had just pulled into a parking space in front of the police station of Port Angeles.

Emmett turned off the car and sat quietly, staring at the glass doors before him. The entire time that they'd been in the car together, Edward realized that most of the conversation had been focused on him, and his relationship with Bella. Emmett had probably had something he needed to say about Rosalie but had never gotten the chance.

"Is this awkward?" Edward asked as he pointed toward the county office before them.

The question startled Emmett, as if he'd forgotten Edward was sitting next to him.

"She said she wanted more," Emmett said in a low voice. He looked past Edward and out the passenger side window, struggling to confess his humiliation at how Rosalie had discarded him.

Edward remained quiet. It didn't appear as if Emmett really wanted any input from him.

"I was so pissed," Emmett seethed. "I broke two of my favorite beer mugs 'cause I just had to break something, you know?"

Edward nodded.

"I shouldn't be here," he announced, pounding his fist against the armrest molded into the door. "Who the hell does she think she is? She thinks she can toss me out like yesterday's garbage and then call me when things get tough? Where are all those rich pretty boys now, eh? Why didn't she call one of them?"

Edward, heavy with exhaustion, rested his head against the headrest. "Rosalie was just a small-town girl looking for a big city experience. She probably thought you'd follow her."

"She didn't ask me to follow her," Emmett quipped. "She just said that she needed to go."

"And she went," Edward noted. "And came right back."

"But she didn't, though." Emmett looked over at Edward. "You know she's moving."

"She ain't gone yet."

"That's because she's in jail!" Emmett's voice boomed.

"Are you gonna sit there and pretend that she couldn't have called Bella to come bail her out? She called you for a reason, Em."

"Because she knows I'm a sucker and that I'll come up here with my dick tucked between my legs like a fu-" Emmett censored his language for Anthony's sake.

"She called because whatever this twisted, crazy journey she took was, it clued her in to one thing."

Emmett rolled his eyes at Edward's dramatic pause. "And what might that be?"

"That you can't find what you haven't lost."

It was something that his mother had told him one time when he was seven years old and had gotten separated from her in a large department store in Seattle. He'd searched for her frantically for what seemed like hours before he'd finally had the good sense to tell a salesperson that he couldn't find his mother. After a page was sent out, Esme, swollen with pregnancy, hobbled up to Edward and wrapped her arms around him tightly. The fear, loneliness and frustration of the situation had crashed down upon Edward as soon as he'd smelled his mother's familiar smell and he'd started sobbing relentlessly. He struggled to tell his mother, over and over, that he couldn't find her.

"You can't find what you haven't lost, honey," she'd whispered as she softly rocked him to soothe him.

The words were strange and Edward was sure he hadn't fully understood their meaning, but still, they brought him an odd sense of comfort.

And as Edward watched Emmett trudge toward the entrance of the police station, he hoped the words brought his friend peace as well.

"Dad?" Anthony had been unnaturally quiet up to this point.

"Yeah, bud?" Edward turned so that he could look upon his son.

"How come we had to come back here?" he asked.

Edward could see that Anthony was clearly afraid, and it hadn't dawned on him until then that Anthony would recognize the landmarks of Port Angeles. He'd realized he was back in the same town he'd last seen Vicki.

"Rosalie needs a ride home," Edward merely said.

"Rosalie's here?" Anthony crinkled up his nose in confusion.

"Yes. She came back to tell the police that Vicki is a bad person," Edward said, stretching the truth just a tad.

"She did?" Anthony sat up straight with an awestruck look on his face. "So the police will take Vicki to jail?"

"I wish," Edward mumbled under his breath.

And thirty-five minutes later when Rosalie and Emmett returned to the car, Edward found out that he'd gotten his wish.

"She had a warrant for a failure-to-appear. The District Attorney's office wouldn't tell us what for, but he didn't file against Rose," Emmett said as if his team had just scored the winning goal.

Rosalie was quiet, for the most part. Her eyes were slightly puffy and tinged with red from when she'd been crying earlier. Edward noticed that she looked exhausted as well. He nodded at her and smiled and then relinquished his seat in the front and slid in the back next to Anthony for the ride home.

As they traveled back toward Forks, every so often Emmett and Rosalie would exchange words in a low, hushed tone. Knowing they didn't want an audience during any possible reconciliation, Edward found a stray piece of paper and a pen and played tic-tac-toe with Anthony, who seemed to have a voracious affinity for the game.

Before long, Emmett was dropping Rosalie off at her car before heading over to Bella's to pick up Emmett's mode of transportation – sometimes it was actually referred to as a car.

"Thanks for letting me drive your car and everything," Emmett said as he handed Edward the keys and the two men switched places.

"No problem," Edward said. He peeked through the passenger window and saw that Anthony had finally fallen asleep.

"She waitin' for you at your place?" Emmett asked, nodding toward Bella's darkened apartment.

"Yeah." Edward tried to hide the smile that threatened to erupt across his face at the thought of going home to Bella.

Emmett noticed. "She's the real deal, isn't she?"

Edward thought for a moment, even though he didn't need to. "Yeah. I think she is."

"Well I hope you still feel that way after you spend every waking moment together for a week," Emmett said, his words followed by macabre laughter. "Have a good time, bro," he called over his shoulder.

The shield of Edward's good mood caused Emmett's warning to roll off of him like oil-slick water as he climbed into his car and headed toward home.

The porch light was on when he got there, and even though Bella's truck was parked curbside, Edward knew she'd left on the lamp as a signal of her presence.

He smiled at the gesture as he pulled Anthony's body, limp with slumber, from the car. As quietly as possible he carried him up the stairs and put him to bed before finding Bella asleep in the middle of his bed.

Edward stood in the doorway and watched her for a few moments, liking the way she looked against his sheets. She'd turned on the bedside radio, most likely for the white noise, and it droned softly in the background.

Swiftly, Edward showered before climbing into bed beside her. Gently, he wrapped his arm around her waist and brought her body to rest against his. His lips softly touched her neck before he laid his head down and the last strains of the Eagles' Hotel California ushered him into sleep.

'*'

Edward was more rested than he'd felt in months when he woke up the next morning. He reached out his arm for the warmth of Bella's body but his hand was met with the flatness of cold sheets instead. Rubbing his face, Edward sat up and glanced over at his alarm clock.

9:16 a.m.

"Shit!" he exclaimed as he threw back the covers. Carefully he tucked in his morning erection and threw on a pair of sleep pants before heading down the stairs, where he found Bella and Anthony in the kitchen.

"I made biscuits!" Anthony said as soon as he saw his father.

Edward ran his hand through Anthony's hair in response before addressing Bella. "I overslept. We were supposed to be on the road by now."

Bella shook her head. "You said we were leaving later, so I figured that meant you wanted to leave after the morning traffic. If we leave in the next forty-five minutes or so, we should be good."

The adrenaline deflated and Edward relaxed against the counter. He looked over the bounty of food before him and frowned. "Where'd all this come from?"

"Anthony did _not_ oversleep," Bella said with amusement. "Therefore, we were at the grocery store at seven this morning because there wasn't anything edible in the house."

"Oh. Right. Sorry," Edward apologized.

"No, it makes sense. You'll be gone for a week. You don't want your food here rotting away. I just got a few things for breakfast and for the road. That way when we're ready to go, we don't have to worry about any last minute stops. Are you all packed?"

Edward grinned because he knew Bella expected him not to be, but he was. "Yep." He then kissed her quickly on the forehead and headed back up the stairs for a shower. "Save one of those biscuits for me, Anthony!" he called over his shoulder.

"I will!" Anthony beamed back.

When Edward exited the shower, he emerged from the bathroom to find Bella standing before his bed gazing down into the duffel bag that he planned on taking with him.

"If you wanted to get a good look at my underwear, all you had to do was ask," Edward said right before kissing her properly – he'd had a chance to brush his teeth.

Bella returned the kiss before pulling back. "Don't tease me."

"Who's teasing?" Edward hinted as he pressed his erection into her thigh.

"Edward, Anthony is on the other side of the hall getting a few toys for the road. It'll only take him a few minutes."

"It'll only take _me_ a few minutes," Edward waggled his eyebrows.

"Yeah, well it might only take you a few minutes, but I'll be left feeling all hot and bothered for the five and a half hours it takes to get where we're going," Bella pouted.

"You're sitting up front next to me. Wear a skirt and I'll make it worth your while," Edward whispered seductively in her ear.

"Oh, you!" she swatted at him playfully and left the room.

But forty-five minutes later when they were all standing in the driveway loading up his car, Edward noticed that she'd changed into a skirt. He looked at her and winked and she blushed.

'*'

The first hour of the trip was spent listening to Anthony try his hand at telling jokes, calling ahead to hotels because both Edward and Bella had made reservations for different locations, sorting an itinerary and putting together a Christmas shopping list. Actually, the latter only referred to Bella. This would be the first year Edward had to Christmas shop and he didn't need a list to buy for Anthony and Bella.

Anthony had made it perfectly clear which toys he was hoping to open up on Christmas morning, and Bella…well…if they made diamond studded house keys…

"What are you smiling about over there?" Bella asked as she lightly touched his arm.

Edward hadn't realized he was smiling. "Just thinking about things I need to get," he answered cryptically. Bella didn't press him, and Edward was sure she thought he was talking about gifts.

After another hour, Bella reached down and pulled out an old Etch-A-Sketch toy and handed it back to Anthony.

"It was mine when I was little," she told him. "Do you think you'd like to play with it?"

"How do you work it?" Anthony asked as he frantically turned the dials.

"You turn that knob there," Bella pointed, "to draw a picture, and you turn that one over there to erase it."

Anthony tried it out and before Edward and Bella knew it, another hour had passed.

"What else do you have in that bag of tricks of yours?" Edward nodded toward the floor.

"Wouldn't you like to know," Bella answered coquettishly as she walked two fingers up Edward's thigh.

"Shhii… you're killing me, woman," Edward told her.

"Yeah, well what do you think you're doing to me?" Bella retorted. "Rubbing up on me like that and then – nothing."

Edward smiled as he glanced into the backseat through the rearview mirror. "Soon, baby. Soon."

_Soon_ meant as soon as Anthony managed to fall asleep, and since he was completely refreshed from a good night's sleep, it wasn't until after lunch and two bathroom stops that Anthony's eyelids finally began to droop.

"I'm glad we decided not to drive your truck," Edward said in a low tone.

Bella looked over at him in confusion. "Why?"

"The seats are much further apart," Edward smirked right before resting the palm of his hand high up on Bella's thigh.

The way she glanced back into the backseat at Anthony was a hint to Edward that she knew exactly what he was after.

And the slightly parted knees and the lack of underwear he discovered when his hand grazed underneath her skirt confirmed, without a doubt, that she knew what he was after.

It was the most cock-solidifying sight: Bella, pink with the effort of trying to remain quiet, writhing and whimpering under the ministrations of his hand. Her legs flexed as she situated herself to grant him maximum access. Her knuckles were white with the exertion of clutching at the seat beneath her. Her eyes danced open and shut as she gave in to the overwhelming sensations that were being bestowed upon her. As Edward's fingers speared and spread and slid over Bella's sex, his own erection grew painful as he watched and listened to Bella approach her climax.

Just as Edward felt the overpowering awareness that he was going to cum in his pants, Bella reached over and unzipped his zipper. Even his underwear couldn't contain him as he sprang free from the confines of his denim prison.

Bella wasted no time in leaning over to taste him in reciprocation for the bliss he'd brought to her. Edward quickly moved his right hand to the back of her head, silently guiding her, as his eyes watched the road before him.

"Aaah!" Edward yelped as he swerved unexpectedly. "Don't bite it!"

Before Bella could offer an explanation, the illumination of red and blue lights washed over the interior of the car. And then a booming voice came over a loudspeaker.

"Pull over!"

"Shit!" Edward spat as he tried to maneuver the car to the shoulder of the road while simultaneously trying to tuck himself back into his pants.

"Just pull your shirt down," Bella gesticulated frantically. "Do you think he saw? Do you think he knows what we were doing?"

Edward didn't answer. After zipping up his jeans, he rummaged through his glove compartment for his insurance card, and then pulled out his driver's license before rolling down his window.

"Mornin'," the police officer greeted as he took a look inside the car. "Little trouble staying on the road today?"

"No, sir," Edward answered promptly. Past experience had taught him to answer quickly, respectfully and with as little eye contact as possible.

"Have you been drinking?" asked the officer, quickly getting to the point.

"Not at all," Edward promised, turning so the lawman could see the sincerity on his face.

Anthony, who had been jarred awake by the sudden shifting of the car, was now staring at the cop with fear and wonder.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Nothing. It's okay," Bella said to calm him down.

The police officer was unmoved by Anthony's concern and went on to question Edward about where he was coming from and where he was traveling to.

"You were traveling five miles per hour below the speed limit for about two miles before you started swerving," he said as he gazed across the car at Bella.

"Uh, yeah. Sorry about that. I thought the car was making this weird whirring sound. I guess I got a little preoccupied with listening for it," Edward lied flawlessly. "I swerved when she accidentally knocked her soda onto my side of the car." Edward picked up the lidded cup that was sitting between he and Bella in the center console and shook it convincingly. "I didn't realize it was empty."

"Mmhm," The police officer looked unconvinced, but more than likely the call in of Edward's license plate didn't turn up anything, because he handed Edward his license and insurance information back and warned Edward to pay better attention and make sure to drive the speed limit.

"What the hell, Bella?" Edward asked once they were safely back on the road again. "Head 101 – you don't bite!"

"Well – but I read this magazine article that said that biting it would make you cum faster," she made a point of whispering so that Anthony couldn't easily decipher what was being said.

"What kind of messed up magazine article was that?" Edward asked in his normal voice before looking over at Bella. "You never bite. I don't care what you read or hear. _Never_ bite it."

"It wasn't that hard," Bella rolled her eyes. "You can't even consider it a bite. It was more of a nip."

"I know what I felt, and it wasn't any nip. You bit it," Edward sulked in his seat.

"Sorry," Bella told him sincerely.

"You are officially cut off until further notice," Edward pouted, unrelenting.

Of course Edward was only halfway serious. He was irritated at the near miss with the police, and edgy from his lack of release, but he wasn't really interested in denying Bella. Regardless, his comment backfired and Bella, who'd been sated by her orgasm, did much in the way of making him regret it.

Her long, lean legs required a thorough and sensual rub with lotion. Her plump, kissable lips sucked and pulled at her straw as she drank her water, and to protect them from the moisture, she made sure to slather them with lip gloss. The silky raven-black bra she was wearing must have twisted and bunched up underneath her breasts because, as soon as there were no other cars within viewing distance in front of or beside them, Bella lifted up her shirt to adjust it.

"Oops," she called when she'd tugged a little too firmly and her taut pink nipple peeked out over the top.

When they finally reached their destination, the sign welcoming them to Salem, Oregon wasn't the only wood standing erect in the near vicinity.

"According to the map, the hotel is only a few more miles up the road," Bella said, keeping up her charade of compliance.

Edward grunted in response as he shifted in his seat to ease his discomfort.

"I have to pee," Anthony announced, antsy and anxious to be set free from the car.

"We're almost there, baby. Can you hold it just a little bit longer?" Bella asked him.

"Just a little bit," he emphasized.

The hotel came into view after that and Edward pulled into the lot and began wrestling with the luggage while Bella whisked Anthony inside before navigating through the check-in process.

Their room was on the fifth floor and had a view of the property's tree-lined boundary.

"This is so beautiful," Bella said as she looked out the window.

Edward was too busy watching her as she pulled her suitcase into the small room that housed a queen sized bed, leaving the larger king sized bed free for…Anthony?

"What are you doing?" Edward asked. He could tell Bella was trying to hide a smile as she answered.

"Surely you don't expect Anthony to sleep all by himself in a strange place. Besides, the temptation would be too much for me, being cut off and all," she explained.

"Bella-" Edward opened his mouth to complain.

"I don't wanna sleep by myself," Anthony rushed to confirm, in case Edward was going to undermine Bella's statement.

Edward scowled at Bella. _Why'd she have to go and put that thought into Anthony's head? And what did she think was so funny?_

By the time they got their items unpacked, Anthony was ready for his evening meal, and even Edward had to admit to being famished. Not wanting to spend much time in the car, Edward found a nearby pizza parlor and ordered takeout.

"So, what's your plan for tomorrow?" Bella asked Edward over dinner. There was no hint of playfulness in her voice.

"I'm going to see Santa," Anthony answered.

Bella looked at Edward and he shrugged. "Might as well get it out of the way."

"We should go early then, before it gets too crowded. Because if you want to visit Social Security, you're going to need plenty of time. They're probably going to give you the run-around," Bella said.

Edward was expecting this as well. In fact, it was his original plan to take Anthony to visit Santa on a weekend day, so that he could utilize his weekdays to take care of all the official business he had to get done. But it quickly became apparent that Anthony was going to be incorrigible until he'd set his sights on Santa, and after he'd traveled all this way, Edward didn't have the heart to make Anthony wait.

There was also the issue of visiting Anthony's grandfather that Edward had to contend with. Several factors stood out as red flags and for that reason, Edward had neglected to inform Anthony of his plan for a visit. Edward had been unable to gain any information beyond which care facility Anthony's grandfather resided in. He had no idea if the man was mentally in any position to interact with Anthony or if he would be belligerent toward Edward. When he'd expressed his concern to Bella, they'd decided that Bella would take Anthony to get new shoes while Edward met with Jessica's dad and determined if it would be safe to have Anthony visit him.

The afternoon passed into evening quickly and before long, the sun disappeared behind the trees and Anthony was hunting for his toothbrush and pajamas and begging to begin his bedtime ritual.

"Can I take a bath?" Anthony requested.

Edward raised an eyebrow at his son before reaching out and tickling Anthony. "Who are you and what have you done with my son?"

Anthony giggled.

"Might this have something to do with a certain someone going to see Santa Clause tomorrow?" Bella supposed.

"When I'm good, Santa always brings me lots of presents," Anthony stated matter of fact.

"You know that's for the entire year, right? Not just before Christmas," Edward chided.

"But, but…" Anthony stammered.

"Well, I happen to have it on very good authority that you've been very good all year. Your teacher told me so," Bella winked at him.

Anthony found her words hysterical. "You're my teacher!"

The blue tinged sky turned black and Edward granted his son's wish for a bubble-filled bath. As he readied the water, he could hear Bella moving around in the adjoined room, hanging clothes in the wardrobe, unpacking toiletries and exploring her surroundings. When Edward exited the bathroom with Anthony bundled in a towel, he saw that she'd made the effort to lay out Anthony's pajamas and turn down his side of the bed. Of course, past the considerate gesture, Edward saw that she was reiterating that she wasn't sleeping with him. He tossed a scowling glance in her direction and she smiled back at him innocently.

"Do you want the first shower?" she asked sweetly.

"It's all yours," Edward answered flatly.

Bella made quick work of her use of the facilities, and when she came out, her spiraled hair was darkened from moisture and her tank top and yoga pants concealed her body to the point of Edward's optimal arousal. He muttered obscenities under his breath at the painful, swelling between his legs.

"I'm dying here," he whispered.

If she heard him, she made no indication that she had. Instead, she set Anthony up with a movie on the Disney channel before heading toward her bed.

"I'm beat. That drive really took it out of me," she said.

Edward's jaw nearly hit the floor. "You're going to bed? But it's only…" he paused to check his watch, "It's not even nine o'clock!"

Bella stifled a yawn. "I know, but I'm just so tired. And stiff." Then she proceeded to spread her ankles apart and bend at the waist, looking up at Edward from between her legs.

Edward couldn't help smiling as he shook his head at her. "Oh you little…" She knew _exactly_ what she was doing.

"Goodnight," she said as she tossed a glance at him over her shoulder before disappearing into her room and shutting the door.

For the first time in Edward's life, a cold shower didn't work.

After crawling into bed a half an hour later, Edward began to think that Bella had been telling him the truth, that she had honestly been tired, because he hadn't heard a peep out of her room and even Anthony was fast asleep, despite his nap on the road.

However, Edward's raging hormones refused to grant him rest. He tried to think about the things he'd hopefully be able to find out about Anthony by visiting his grandfather; he tried to think about the storage unit somewhere in town that housed many of Anthony's belongings. He tried to think about whether or not he'd have to rent a tow-behind trailer to get any of those belongings home. He tried to think about the little boy snoring softly beside him and what his reaction would be to seeing something familiar after having his life in an upheaval for so long.

But none of those things could occupy Edward's mind long enough to make him forget about the hot, throbbing, engorged member that wouldn't give him a minute's peace.

Finally, when he could take it no more, Edward threw back the covers and stomped across the room and threw open the door to Bella's room. He was surprised to find that the light Anthony insisted upon keeping on concealed the fact that Bella's room was illuminated as well.

She was sitting up in the middle of the bed staring at the doorway as if she'd expected Edward to walk through it at any moment.

"You're killing me," he told her.

"Me?" Bella asked innocuously. "I'm not the one who cut anybody off."

"And I'm not the one who bit somebody where nobody should ever be bitten."

"I didn't hurt you. I didn't even leave a mark."

"You did, too."

"Let me see."

Edward was all too willing to concede to having his dick in Bella's hands. He quickly locked the door before nearly sprinting over and crawling onto the bed. Bella wasted no time in beginning her mock inspection.

"Where's the mark?" she asked, her face mere inches from his shaft.

"Right there," Edward gestured to nothing in particular, unable to concentrate due to being so close to being put out of his misery.

"Where? Here?" Bella asked as she rubbed her thumb softly over the ridge on the underside of his cock.

"Mmm," Edward murmured.

"Or here?" her lips softly kissed the base of his tip.

"Yeah, right there." But Edward's words had less to do with the evidence of an injury and more to do with the hope that she would 'kiss it and make it better'.

And she did.

When Bella slid her tongue along his length, and his head brushed against the back of her throat, he was sure that he saw stars.

And though Edward had no doubt about the strong feelings he and Bella shared for one another, there was no pretense of making love as they finally gave in to the hours of yearning. Clutching one another savagely, they fell from the bed to the floor, before moving against the wall where they fucked like feral wildcats.

"That," Edward said moments afterward as he struggled to catch his breath, "is what I want for Christmas."

Bella giggled and turned into his side, now searching for softness and affection. "I'll write it on my list."

As they lay together listening to the muted night noises, Edward's thoughts about the things he hoped to accomplish turned to fears.

"This trip could set Anthony back," he said suddenly. "You know, with his therapy and everything."

"It could also do wonders for him," Bella said optimistically. "He's very resilient."

Edward knew she was right, but it had always been his motto to hope for the best but expect the worst, and that is exactly the mantra that he'd adopted for the trip to Oregon.

Color him surprised when everything went off without a hitch.

It started early the next morning when Edward woke up and crept back out into the main room and crawled into bed with Anthony. After an hour that felt like a mere five minutes, Anthony awoke and leapt onto Edward.

"Hurry up! We have to get up so we don't miss Santa!" he urged.

"We're not going to miss Santa," Edward said groggily as he moved Anthony back to the bed.

"Yes huh," Anthony persisted. "We will."

Bella woke up soon after that and busied Anthony with getting ready and perfecting his Christmas list; this allowed Edward the time he needed to truly wake up. After he'd performed his morning routine, Edward strolled over to Bella and placed a kiss atop her head.

"Did you seriously lift the toilet seat _up?_" he asked in shock.

Bella shrugged. "You put it down for me; I'll lift it up for you."

Edward leaned against the table and watched Bella in awe as she interacted with Anthony. She looked up and caught him staring. She looked down at the outfit she'd selected for the day as if it had offended him.

"What?" she asked him.

"Move-" Edward shut down quickly. He couldn't believe it had almost slipped out. He'd almost asked her to move in with him!

And now she was looking at him as if he were the rudest person on the planet – like he'd told her to get out of his way.

"Movies. Shall we take him to one?" Edward pointed at Anthony in an attempt to recover.

"Do you think we'll have time?" Bella asked, unaware of Edward's near miss.

"Probably not," Edward said. "Nevermind."

It felt too early to leave the house, but by the time Edward got gas and visited a waffle house that Anthony had asked for by name, the mall had been open for over an hour.

When they arrived, Edward was surprised to find out that Anthony had no interest in the large Santa's workshop display in the middle of the mall. Instead, he insisted that Santa was on the second floor of the mall. To appease him, Bella and Edward let him lead the way.

"Oh my gosh," Bella gasped when Anthony ushered them into a Picture People photo studio. There, sitting in a large chair in one the photography chambers was a man who looked like Santa – even if he hadn't been wearing the large red suit. "He looks just like Santa," she whispered to Edward.

A sales associate whom Edward hadn't noticed overheard Bella.

"That's Santa Carl," she whispered so that Anthony wouldn't hear. "All the kids think he's the real deal because of his beard. It's real."

Edward nodded as he tried to keep a hold of Anthony who was straining to get closer to the holiday icon.

"So, I guess we need an appointment or something, right?" Bella asked.

"Normally, but we had a shoot scheduled for twins that just cancelled. If you'd like to go now, he can have his picture taken with Santa," she pointed to Anthony.

Anthony didn't need to hear anymore. He ran over to the jolly man and waited until "Santa" reached down and pulled Anthony onto his lap.

"Well, well, well. Who do we have here?" Santa asked.

"It's me, Anthony! Remember?" Anthony asked.

"Oh, Anthony! How could I forget you?" Santa asked. Edward rolled his eyes, but was quickly humbled by Santa's next question. "Did you weave those ribbons through your grandfather's wheels last Christmas?"

"I tried, but it was too hard," Anthony answered. "Grandma tied them on his handles though."

"Well you're bigger this year. Maybe you'll be able to do it this Christmas."

Edward didn't realize Bella was holding his hand until she squeezed it.

"I don't know where my grandpa is though," Anthony told Santa as if he was waiting for the bearded man to tell him.

"Oh? Did you move?" Santa asked.

Anthony nodded. "I live at my dad's house now." Anthony pointed at Edward.

Edward smiled slightly, wishing all the while that he could silently communicate with this Santa-guy and warn him not to ask anything more about Anthony's grandparents.

Santa looked Edward up and down. "Well, your dad looks pretty pleased with you, and do you know why?" he waited as Anthony shook his head no. "Because you've been a very good boy this year. And do you know what very good boys get at Christmas time?"

"Christmas wishes!" Anthony shouted.

Santa looked baffled for a moment. "Well, I was going to say presents," he chuckled, "but I guess presents are sometimes wished for, aren't they?"

Anthony nodded.

"So what are you wishing for this year, Anthony?"

"Um…a motorcycle and a train and a baseball and to put ribbons on my grandpa's wheelie chair."

Santa let out a hearty laugh. "I bet he'd like that, Anthony."

"Can you tell me where he is? Is he in heaven like Grandma?"

"Uh…" Santa looked at Edward with wide eyes and Edward slowly shook his head from side to side. "Uh, no. No, I don't think Grandpa is in heaven. He lives…he lives…someplace new. I'll have to go back to the North Pole and check with the elves to make certain, but I know he's not in heaven."

This answer satisfied Anthony long enough for him to select a candy cane out of the treat bag and have his picture taken on Santa's lap. But as soon as they left (Bella promised to return the next day to look at the photos since Edward didn't want to wait around for an hour to see them) Anthony started peppering his father with questions about whether or not Santa would be able to find his grandfather before Christmas and if it was possible that Grandpa would get no presents.

Edward sighed before informing Bella that there was no need to take Anthony shoe shopping.

And that is how they all ended up at the Orchard Heights retirement community.

Bella hung back with Anthony while Edward visited the front desk. The last thing Edward wanted to do was get his son's hopes up over seeing his grandfather and then not be able to follow through.

"David Stanley," Edward answered when asked whom he'd like to visit.

The nurse behind the desk looked at Edward curiously. "David doesn't have any family," she told him.

"He has a grandson," Edward replied.

Overhearing, a younger nurse came over with an overwhelming grin on her face. "Anthony? You're the Anthony David's been going on about all these months?"

"No. Anthony's my son. He's only five."

"Is Anthony here?"

Edward looked over his shoulder and the nurse followed his gaze to where Anthony stood beside Bella.

"Oh this is wonderful!" the young nurse exclaimed. "Wait until David hears about this! It'll be sure to snap him right out of that funk he's been in."

"Actually," Edward held his palm up to stall her, "I was wondering if I would be able to speak to David first, before he sees Anthony."

"Oh…um…sure. Just one minute. Let me check in with him. He's in his ceramics class right now, but I'm sure he'll be okay to end a little early today."

Edward waited while she disappeared down a corridor. His eyes met Bella's and she gave him an encouraging thumbs up and a smile. One corner of his mouth turned up in a smirk as his fingers clutched at the insides of his pockets.

The nurse, who quietly introduced herself as Beverly, gained Edward's attention and then motioned for him to follow her. Once they were walking side by side, she glanced at him cautiously.

"I take it you and David aren't on the best of terms," she said.

"He's that happy to see me, eh?" Edward asked.

"Well…he was a little less than enthusiastic, but he didn't refuse, so that's a good thing."

"He didn't refuse because he wants to see Anthony," Edward stated.

"We'll take whatever we can get," Beverly winked. "Here we are."

She stopped outside of what looked like the entrance to a hotel room. She knocked once before pushing the door ajar so that Edward could enter.

"David, your guest is here," she said before stepping out of the way.

Edward had only met David Stanley a few times and none of those meetings had been good. For some unknown reason, David had despised Edward in his youth, and judging from the current expression on David's face, not much had changed.

The man sat near the window in his wheelchair with a travel table over his lap where he was playing a game of solitaire. He looked much older than Edward remembered, and much smaller.

Edward stood by the door wondering if he should address the man formally or by his first name like Nurse Beverly had. They weren't friends, but they were family, so Edward went with the latter.

"David?" he broached.

"Where's Anthony?" David returned in a gruff voice.

"He's in the lobby," Edward answered. "I was hoping we could talk before I brought him in here."

"Why? What's wrong? What have you done to him?"

"What have I done?" Edward found his temper rise at the instant accusation and fought against it. "I've been taking care of him, that's what I've done."

David found that amusing. "You couldn't take care of an alcoholic in a liquor store."

Edward frowned. _Where was this all coming from?_

"Sir, with all due respect, you don't even know me," Edward said.

"Now you want to offer me respect?" David spat. "Where was that respect when you were sneaking off with my daughter at all hours of the night? Where was that respect when you gave her the drugs that caused her to lose job after job? Where was that respect when you turned a pregnant woman away in her hour of need?"

Edward blanched at David's skewed sense of the facts. Had he not realized that Jessica was a legal adult for most of the time that they'd dated? And drugs? If he meant marijuana, Edward had _not_ introduced Jessica to that. She'd had her own supplier until she'd decided to quit for one reason or another. And the pregnancy thing…

"I didn't even know Jessica was pregnant when we broke up," Edward said. Jessica was gone, and there was no use in defaming the memory of this man's daughter – it was all he had.

But there was absolutely no way that Edward was going to allow David to poison Anthony's mind into thinking that his father didn't want him.

"You calling my daughter a liar?" David asked.

Uninvited, Edward took a seat in an empty chair. "David, after the accident, a social worker came to my job and told me that I had a five-year-old son. It was the first I'd ever heard of it, and if you want to verify my reaction, you can contact a Ms. Daily at the Washington State Department of Social Services."

David waved off Edward's words as unimportant, but he didn't offer a rebuttal.

"Anthony is adjusting well to being with me," Edward added, figuring he wasn't going to make David his ally, so he might as well give the man the information he knew he wanted. "In the beginning he struggled with night terrors, and of course, missing his mother."

"Has he asked about me?" David asked.

Edward smiled. "I just took him to see Santa and he told Santa that he wanted to see you. He wants to put ribbons on your wheelchair."

David's eyes misted over then. "Christmas was always a big deal in our house. His grandmother celebrated it from the day after Thanksgiving until the day after New Years. She passed that bug onto Anthony. He loves Christmas – and not just for the presents," David looked over at Edward, "though I'm sure he had no complaints. Grandma and I tend to go overboard…or we used to, at least."

There was a beat of silence and Edward allowed his green eyes to meet David's blue gaze.

"How's he really doing?" David asked.

"Better," Edward confessed. "I've started him in therapy, and that seems to be helping, for the most part. He had a bad spell where he couldn't remember what had happened and he kept asking for his mom and his grandmother…and Gus."

David's eyes lit up at the mention of the puppet. "He still has Gus, yeah?"

"Well…there was a bit of an accident with the dryer. But my girlfriend's mother made him a new one. We didn't get rid of the original though. He made a resting place for him – a box – that he keeps on his shelf."

"So you're not married, then? No other kids?" David asked.

"No. Anthony's it."

"Good. I was worried about him going into a situation where he's the new kid 24/7. He was the center of our universe, that one."

"Yeah, he's quickly become the center of mine as well."

David looked pleased to hear that. "I need to see him. Please, Edward."

"Yeah. Of course," Edward said, now confident that the man wouldn't shed confusion upon Anthony by belittling his father.

Edward walked back to the lobby and beckoned for Bella and Anthony. Misunderstanding, Bella directed Anthony toward his father but remained in her place by the windows.

"You, too," Edward told her. Bella looked surprised but she didn't delay.

"Where are we?" Anthony asked. "Who are all these people?"

"I don't know who most of these people are, only one," Edward said as he brought Anthony to his grandfather's door.

David had wheeled himself right in front of the door so that when Edward opened it, he was the first thing that came into view.

"Grandpa!" Anthony ran at the man and threw himself against the man's failed legs. "Dad! It's my grandpa!"

David immediately became emotional and Edward watched Bella turn away, her eyes glistening as well. People in the hall were intrigued and a few of them stopped in the hall to get a better look. Edward remembered David to be a proud man, so after a polite nod, he shifted Bella all the way inside so that he could close the door and grant the reunion the privacy it deserved.

That is, until David decided that he wanted to put his grandson on public display a half hour later.

"This is my Anthony," he called to anyone who would listen. Anthony was seated on his grandfather's lap and Edward walked behind them, wheeling them through the halls of the building. "This is my grandson!"

Edward could tell the difference between the people who didn't know David at all and the people who did. Those who had his acquaintance were almost as excited as David was, and they all had a little story or anecdote about Anthony that his grandfather had shared with them. Those that didn't know David's story simply expressed appreciation for the fact that his family had come to visit. Loneliness and longing were written all over their faces.

Finally, they found a quiet alcove where Anthony had his grandfather's complete attention. He told him about his class, his friend Taylor who always gave away his oatmeal cookies because he didn't like them; the race car bed in his bedroom; Bella's blue room with the music box that told stories; cooking dinner with Bella; playing soccer with his father; beating Edward at checkers; fishing with Papa Charlie; the game of Battleship he got from Emmett; riding in Bella's big truck; leading the flag salute when he's Citizen of the Day in Miss Swan's class, and lastly about sometimes getting to sleep in his father's big bed.

"But not when Miss Swan spends the night," Anthony added.

Edward was amused at the mortified expression on Bella's face, and the confused look on David's face.

"I'm also his teacher," Bella volunteered. Initial introductions hadn't allotted time for her to be more thorough only because David was so caught up with seeing Anthony again.

"Public school or private?" David asked.

"Public," Bella answered.

David looked disappointed. "I had planned for him to go to private school. We were going to send him to Willamette Valley."

"Mr. Stanley, Forks Elementary is a great school. It was awarded Blue Ribbon status just this year, which means it has been recognized for achieving a superior standard in education. The district has an excellent grant writer, and we have gotten grants for music, foreign language and sports programs-"

"And what about you?" David interrupted her. "What's your educational background?"

"Hey, Bella's a great teacher," Edward spoke up.

"No, it's alright," Bella touched Edward's hand softly. "He's just looking out for Anthony's best interests." She turned her attention back to David. "I graduated magna cum-laude from the University of Arizona and I did my student teaching at a magnet school in Phoenix that focused on students gifted in math and science. I've implemented a lot of what I learned there in my classroom."

David didn't look half as impressed as Edward was. They'd never talked much about Bella's college experience. He knew she was smart, but every day he learned a bit more about how smart she actually was.

Not caring to further the conversation, David shifted his focus to Anthony and Bella and Edward hung back so as not to get in the way. In fact, Edward put all of his other plans for the day on hold to give Anthony and David as much time as they needed.

"I don't know what he's going to do when I tell him it's time to go," Edward whispered to Bella about Anthony.

"I don't think Anthony is the one you have to worry about," Bella said as she looked over at David. "He looks so happy."

Edward had to agree that David looked much more at peace than he had when Edward had first greeted him, but finally it was time to leave. David held on to Anthony until the last few minutes and even then he had to be reassured that Edward would not leave town before bringing Anthony by again.

"Would you mind if Edward dropped us off to spend time with you while he tied up a few loose ends tomorrow?" Bella asked out of the blue.

"Not at all," David answered quickly; Bella looked over at Edward for consent.

"Sounds good to me," Edward agreed.

So the next day, Bella and Anthony visited David for the entire morning and afternoon while Edward went to the Social Security Administration to officially change Anthony's last name from Stanley to Cullen. That process didn't take nearly as long as Edward had anticipated, however the time he saved there was squandered at the Department of Social Services where Edward attempted to follow up on the paperwork he had regarding Anthony's possessions. After three people confirmed that it wasn't the state's responsibility to turn over possessions left to Anthony, a lowly clerk was able to uncover the name of an insurance company named in a living will. Yet by the time Edward got that information, the office had closed, meaning Edward would have to return to it the next day instead of taking Anthony to do something fun.

"Grandpa's been looking at these four walls all day," Bella said when Edward arrived back at the rest home to collect Anthony and Bella. "I think we should take him out to dinner with us."

"Yeah!" Anthony cheered his agreement.

"Sure," Edward shrugged. "Where would you like to go, David?"

David wanted pasta, and lots of it, so they went to the Old Spaghetti Warehouse, and while Edward was trying to maneuver David's wheelchair up to the table, Bella took Anthony off to wash his hands.

"Productive day?" David asked.

"So-so," Edward sighed. "I'm having a hard time locating Anthony's stuff. The lady at the foster home told me it was at some storage facility, but when I called, they'd gone out of business and the people at Social Services are giving me the run-around…" Edward trailed off, too exhausted to continue.

"It's at the U-Haul place down on Silverton," David stated effortlessly. "They bought out the other contracts and moved all the stuff there a couple months ago. I have the key."

"You have the key?" Edward was confused. "But I thought you had to give up all your assets to live in the … where you live."

"All _my_ assets," David said. "Not Anthony's. As long as it's not in my name, which it's not, I'm fine. My wife handled all that stuff when she was alive. She was big on making sure Anthony was taken care of if anything happened. Once I got diabetes and my blood pressure went haywire, she called in all these attorneys and casket-chasers and put all this stuff together. I guess it's a good thing…considering what happened."

It then dawned on Edward then that it had been two days and he still hadn't offered David the most basic sentiment.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, "for your loss. It must be really hard on you."

"Turned my life upside down in an instant," David whipped back sharply. "And every day I struggle with being mad as the devil that it happened."

Edward didn't have much to add to that and when Bella and Anthony returned to the table, they took over and held the conversation.

With David's help, the next day had a much better agenda. Bella really wanted to get some shopping done and Edward really _did not_ want to do any shopping, so she dropped him off at the storage facility and she, Anthony and David returned to the Salem Center Mall.

"Call me when you're ready for me to come get you," Bella said as she and Edward kissed for their parting of the day.

Anthony wanted a hug and kiss from his father as well, which wasn't a usual occurrence. Therefore, Edward wasted no time in assuaging him.

"Have fun," Edward told his son as he checked his seatbelt before sending them off on their outing. He then went inside with the key and the necessary paperwork to sort through the unit containing Anthony's belongings.

And Anthony had a lot of belongings.

Edward stood, his mouth agape, in the entryway of a unit large enough to store the contents of two bedrooms. It was filled with furniture and boxes and every box Edward opened seemed to be filled with high end contents.

One thing was definitely for certain: Anthony was slumming it in Forks with his father.

"I think this bedroom furniture cost more than everything I own," Edward muttered to himself.

"That's not important to him," Bella reassured him later that evening when he'd made his second remark about the life Anthony had been accustomed to before Edward. "And has he even asked about any of that stuff since he moved with you?"

"Some of the toys," Edward admitted.

"Yeah, because he's a kid and kids love toys, but he doesn't care about the dresser or the cedar chest or the nightstand…although that airplane lamp is really cool."

Edward smiled and wrapped his arm around Bella as they watched Anthony shuffle along in the middle of the kiddie ice skating rink they'd brought him to.

"Are you having a good time?" he asked her.

"I'm having a great time," Bella said. "Anthony is really happy. I've never heard him laugh so much."

"Yeah," Edward looked out at his son. "I just hope it doesn't kill him when we go back home."

"I keep trying to reiterate that we're just on vacation and that we'll be going back home. Like today at the mall I told him that he could pick something out to take back home to show all his friends at school what Oregon is like. And then David told Anthony to write him letters when he goes back home. Hopefully it'll help him realize that we're not staying."

Edward nodded. "Would you mind…being on your own for a little bit tomorrow?"

"No. Why?"

"I was thinking of taking Anthony out, just the two of us. I want to see if he'll talk to me about how he's feeling about being here. And I just want to spend some one-on-one time with him. I feel like I haven't done that."

"I think that's a great idea," Bella smiled up at him.

And the next morning when Edward got Anthony ready for their outing, Bella had no complaints about being left behind, nor did she grumble about the fact that he was leaving her without a car. Instead, she told him about an amazing soup she'd heard about in the hotel restaurant and how she planned on having it for lunch before cozying up with a book she'd been dying to read. Edward could easily read between the lines. It was Bella's way of letting him know that she supported him unconditionally.

"Love you," Edward said as he kissed Bella at the door.

"Love you," Anthony echoed as he held his arms open to Bella for a hug.

Bella scooped him up and held him tight, eyeing Edward over Anthony's head as she did so. Something about the trip was awakening Anthony's need to express affection, and it was a welcomed experience.

'*'

On their drive around town, Edward quickly learned that Anthony wasn't really familiar with any of the town's landmarks or any prominent places in his memory. He generically referred to parks, ice cream parlors and toy stores, but none by name.

"How about the park. You can show me how high you can swing," Edward suggested.

"Okay!" Anthony exclaimed eagerly.

Edward turned into the first park he found that looked safe and had swings. It wasn't raining but it was pretty cold outside, so Edward knew it would be a short visit.

Beside him, Anthony took a pair of knitted gloves out of his pocket and slipped them on before taking hold of the cold, metal chains on the swing.

"I can go really fast and really high," Anthony warned so that his father would back up a few paces. He declined the starting push Edward offered him and pumped his legs until he had set a nice pace on his own.

"I used to love to swing when I was your age," Edward said after moments of watching Anthony silently soar.

"Could you go really high?"

"Well, not as high as you, but pretty high."

"Was it because your legs are short?"

"What?" Edward looked down at his legs. They weren't short at all.

"Taylor said my legs are short and that's why I can't go as high as him. Did you have short legs, too?"

"Oh…no. But there's nothing wrong with being short, Anthony. And besides, you just haven't had your growth spurt yet."

"So I might be big like you?"

"Maybe. You might even be taller than me. Who knows," Edward shrugged to show the topic's unimportance. "But I'll think you're great even if you're not tall. Those kinds of things don't really matter, Anthony."

Anthony stopped swinging after a while and climbed down. Edward thought he might be off to the jungle gym or climbing wall, but instead, Anthony approached Edward and hoisted himself up on Edward's lap. Seeing his son's intentions, Edward helped Anthony up the rest of the way and positioned him so that Anthony's back leaned against Edward's chest.

Slowly they began to sway.

"My sister used to be short," Edward said suddenly. "She loved it because my dad would always give her rides on his shoulders so that she could see above the crowds. And she was the perfect height to hide beneath the counters at the candy store. Whenever our mother took us in there, the cashiers never knew she was there and so they never caught her eating the candy out of the open jars." Edward laughed at the memory.

"Did she ever grow bigger?" Anthony looked up at Edward.

"She would have..but she died before she got the chance."

"She _died_?"

"Yeah," Edward's throat constricted around the word.

"Like Mommy and Grandma?"

"Mmhmm."

Anthony stared forward as he asked the next question.

"Did you have to go live with somebody else when she died?"

"Yep, kiddo. I sure did."

Edward tightened his grip on Anthony as they sat still on the swing.

"I hate it when people die," Anthony said.

"Me too. It's sad."

"I don't want to die," Anthony said.

"No. No, you won't die. I won't let you," Edward made the moment humorous by tickling Anthony in the side. Uncharacteristically, Anthony _didn't _laugh.

"I don't want you to die, either," he said.

"I'm not gonna die."

It was the wrong thing to say, Edward knew this. He knew that every textbook and therapist would say not to assure your child of something you have no control over, but in that moment, when Edward could hear the fright and hopelessness in his son's voice, there was no way that he was going to let him contend with the thought of losing yet another person in his life.

"I told you, I'll always be here for you."

Anthony shivered a bit as he nodded at Edward's words. It was evident that they'd endured the cold weather much longer than they should have, so back to the car they went, with Anthony hitching a ride on Edward's shoulders.

"Is there anything else you'd like to do or see?" Edward asked. "Maybe go see your Grandpa one last time before we have to go? We're going back home tomorrow, remember?"

Anthony nodded. "But just for a little while. Grandpa gets tired."

"Got it."

But Grandpa didn't seem that tired when Edward and Anthony arrived for their final visit. He was animated and talkative and Edward could see that he was trying to make the most out of his final moments with his grandson.

He gave Anthony his Christmas present early, saying that Santa gave him special permission because he knew Anthony would be in a different city at Christmas.

The mention of Santa gave Edward an idea, and while Anthony was frantically ripping at the wrapping paper on his gift, Edward stole out to the front desk in search of some ribbon. They sent him off to a small gift shop in the main lobby that sacrificed a few strands of green, red and white curling ribbon.

"Anthony has something for you, too," Edward said as he re-entered the room and held up the ribbons. "Anthony, didn't you want to do something to your grandpa's wheels?"

"Oh, yeah!" Anthony hopped up and accepted the ribbon from Edward. He also accepted a bit of help on getting the weaving of the ribbon started on the spokes, but once he got the hang of it, he wanted to do it all on his own.

Edward was so focused on watching Anthony that he almost missed the intense way that David was staring at him, but Edward shifted his gaze suddenly and caught David looking.

"You're good with him," David commented brusquely.

"Thanks," Edward replied bashfully. "He's a great kid."

"She always said you would've been a good dad, you know."

Edward didn't need clarification to know whom David was speaking of.

"I'm glad to see that he's so important to you," David went on. "He spent a lot of time with his grandmother and me, but when his mother was around, he was the center of her universe."

Edward nodded. One of the things that Edward remembered most vividly about Jessica was that she was the most self-absorbed person that he'd ever met so the fact that Anthony had shifted her affinity was definitely a tribute to the quality of his character.

Edward also heard what David was telling him about the kind of mother Jessica had been: when she was on, she was great, but there had been times when she wasn't around. In a twisted way, Edward was relieved in thinking that moving to Forks hadn't entirely been a downward turn for Anthony.

"I'm going to miss him so much," David muttered as he inspected Anthony's work.

"When's your birthday?" Edward inquired.

"February."

"Then I'll bring him back in February."

David nodded and turned away, but Edward could still see the hope and joy brimming in his eyes.

Anthony finished up the wheels and returned to the gift he'd received from David: a piece of foam cut and colored to look like a lizard, with a wire attached so that Anthony could make it look like it was walking.

It took all of twelve seconds for Anthony to fall in love with it. It took Edward just as long to remember the plethora of boxes of toys loaded in the travel trailer he'd rented from the storage center that were awaiting his retrieval.

"So what time are you heading out tomorrow?" David asked.

"The U-haul place opens at seven, so that's when I plan to show up. I don't know how long it'll take me to get that trailer hooked up to my car," Edward said.

"Ah, they'll help you," David said as if it was no big deal.

"Maybe. They did let me load it and keep it in one of their garage units, so that at least saves me the time of having to load it tomorrow. He has a lot of stuff," Edward motioned to Anthony.

"Yeah. Do you have room for it all?"

"Not hardly," Edward shook his head. "I just figured we'd go through it together and the things he's really adamant about, we'll keep and the rest we'll get rid of."

David bobbed his head at Edward's words, but it was clear that he wasn't really paying attention. Suddenly he looked Edward square in the eye and said with an air of authority, "I guess you need to take me to the bank right now. There isn't any other time."

"What?" Edward asked.

"To the bank. I have some papers I need to give you," David said as he wheeled himself over to his dresser and proceeded to remove a key that was taped to the back of one of the drawers. "Come on. We only have a couple hours before they close."

Edward stopped cleaning up the wrapping paper Anthony had left all over the bed and followed David to the door.

David stopped and looked at him abruptly. "Not a word to those nurses at the front desk. We're just going for a ride. Got it?"

"Sure," Edward shrugged.

After David was safely situated in the front seat, and his wheelchair was folded away in the trunk, Edward made sure Anthony was buckled up before heading out on David's secret mission.

"I need to give you some insurance papers from my safe deposit box," David said when he'd directed Edward to a small credit union a few miles from the assisted living community. "Do you have an envelope or anything in here?"

Edward reached back onto the backseat where all of the documents he'd been working with were laying and emptied a manila envelope before handing it to David.

"Yes, this'll do just fine," David said cryptically.

Once they were all secluded in the viewing chamber with David's safe deposit box before them, it became clear to Edward why David was acting so strangely.

There were several official looking documents there – insurance policies naming Anthony as a beneficiary, savings bonds, photos and a copy of a will. And there was also cash. Lots and lots of cash. Cash that David wasn't supposed to have in his possession.

"Here, put this away. Quickly," David ordered as he shoved everything in the envelope and thrust it at Edward.

"David, I can't take-"

"It's his," David pointed at Anthony. "It's everything I could liquefy before Orchard Heights started poking around in my business. Except for the bonds. You need to save those. They're not worth all that much right now."

Edward felt like he was doing something illegal and didn't feel himself relax until David had finished closing out his safe deposit box and they were seated back in Edward's car. Quickly he dialed Bella's cell phone to let her know he was on his way back to her and to see if she needed him to bring her anything.

"Forty-two years of marriage, and I never quite got that part right," David chuckled. "My wife was always complaining that I never called in to check with her before I got home."

Edward smiled to himself. He thought about what David had said, and also Emmett's parting words before he'd left that night:

"… _I hope you still feel that way after you spend every waking moment together for a week…"_

Edward _did_ still feel that way. In fact, being apart from her for just a few hours had him pining for her voice, her scent, her touch. He was even more confident than before that he definitely wanted to ask Bella to move in with him. The trip had managed to invigorate his confidence in how Bella felt about him and he was able to place less emphasis on the chronology of their relationship and more emphasis on what he felt strongly in his heart.

Yet those strong feelings weren't enough to stave off the unexpected news he received the next morning when Anthony made a casual suggestion.

It just so happened that Edward had overlooked a box when he'd loaded up the travel trailer, but there was absolutely no room to add anything else, so Edward shoved the big box into the backseat of his car with Anthony.

"I don't know where I'm going to put all this stuff until I can go through it," Edward told Bella as they pulled out onto the road.

"You've got some room in your garage, right?" Bella asked.

"A little. Maybe I can ask Alice and Jasper if I can store some over at their place."

Anthony leaned forward between the seats. "You can put some at Bella's new house."

Edward looked over at Bella. "What new house?"

Bella shrugged and addressed Anthony. "What new house is this, Anthony?"

"The one Rosalie said for you to buy. And you said you maybe would."

"Wow," Bella laughed. "He hears everything," she said pointing at Anthony.

"You're buying a house?" Edward asked seriously.

"Well…no. I mean…well, I'm just considering it. See, I told Rosalie that if a house ever came available in Alice's neighborhood that I would consider purchasing. And one did so Rosalie said I should take advantage of the first time buyer's incentive. And since I also get a break for being a teacher…" Bella rambled. "But nothing is official right now. I'm still just thinking about it."

_Thinking about it._

It's what Edward had been doing for some time now: thinking about taking a giant step forward in his relationship with Bella. How ironic that while her thoughts were also surrounding her housing situation, they were massively incongruent with his.

It took mere seconds for the confidence and certainty Edward had been feeling only moments before to come crashing down underneath his doubt and disappointment.


	31. Chapter 31 Crazy Love

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 31 – Crazy Love**

Bella leaned her head against the wall and rested her eyes for a brief moment as her friends chattered around her. She hadn't had a restful sleep in a couple days, and Anthony had arrived bright and early that morning when Edward had dropped him off on his way to work.

"Mmm," Alice hummed in exhilaration as she placed a forkful of spicy shredded beef in her mouth. "This is heavenly."

"You're going to have the worst heartburn," Rosalie told her as she eyed the meat with contempt. "And how much of that are you going to eat?"

"That is kind of spicy, Alice," Bella chimed in when she opened her eyes to see that Alice had opened up the second container that she'd sworn she was saving for later.

Alice narrowed her eyes and waved her plastic fork between Rosalie and Bella. "How many times have you been pregnant?" she stared at Rosalie before looking at Bella. "And you?"

When they remained silent, Alice grumped an 'I thought so', and went back to enjoying her meal.

"So, Bella…" Rosalie turned her attention to Bella. "You still haven't said anything about the house."

"I know," Bella said slowly.

"You do realize the opportunity here, for both of us, right?" Rosalie punctuated her words by tapping her finger on the table. "I mean, Alice's neighbor said I could represent her. That means that if you buy the house, not only do you only have to work with one agent, but since I don't have to split commission, I could give you a break."

"I know," Bella said again with much less enthusiasm than Rosalie.

"And you know that you could get that federal tax credit, plus a first time buyer incentive, _plus_ a lower interest rate through the teacher's union," Rosalie pressed.

"Not to mention that you'd have the best across-the-street-neighbors in the world," Alice added.

Bella simply smiled as she nodded and looked down at the table.

"You know I wouldn't be pressuring you if I thought that you didn't want to do this, but you can see, as well as I can, that this is too good to pass up," Rosalie lowered her voice and added, "And I don't need to tell you how badly I need to get back to work."

"I know, Rosalie. I do," Bella hesitated.

"Do you?" Rosalie asked skeptically. "Because you were all for it until you and Edward went on your trip, but now you're all…quiet about it. Is that it? Is it Edward? Did he say it was a bad idea or something?"

"I was all for _thinking_ about it, Rosalie," Bella stated firmly. "And Edward's been great. He hasn't said much about it."

Even as she spoke, Bella knew she was telling a very watered down version of the truth. Though Edward _had_ been great whenever the topic of the house came up, it was a forced, unnatural pleasantness that had Bella on edge, wondering when the proverbial other shoe was going to drop.

"You know, you shouldn't let Edward talk you out of this. Buying a house is a great investment, and if it's something you want to do, you should do it," Rosalie said.

"Ironically, that's exactly what Edward said," Bella told her.

"Then what's the problem?"

Bella shrugged. "I didn't say there was a problem." Bella ripped a paper napkin to shreds as she considered how she could possibly voice her concerns. "It's just a feeling I'm getting. Edward's being…too _nice_ about it," Bella finally explained. "I don't know of any other way to explain it. It's obvious that he doesn't really have that much to say about it, but when he does say something, it's 'that's great, honey', and 'if that's what you really want, that's great'. But he never talks to me like that. Usually he'd be all…'Cool' or 'Oh yeah? That's awesome' or something like that."

Rosalie frowned at Bella and rocked backward in her seat. "It sounds to me like you're looking for a problem where there isn't one."

Bella heaved a sigh but decided against refuting Rosalie's statement. She wasn't in the mood to hear her friend's opinion on what was really holding her back from jumping into home ownership. Sure, the finances made it seem like a no-brainer and the house was exactly what she would want in a home. It had three well-sized bedrooms, arched entryways, hardwood floors, French doors, two full bathrooms and a great backyard. The location was near her job at the school and she didn't see herself moving on anytime soon. Everything pointed her in the direction of purchasing the home, except…

Except that Bella couldn't shake the feeling that she was making the wrong kind of statement to Edward with the transaction. On one hand, though she and Edward were a couple, they were young in their relationship and it could be construed as premature to place one's life on hold in anticipation of things getting more serious.

But on the other hand, how much more serious did things need to get? Edward trusted Bella with his most precious treasure: Anthony. They also shared things about their lives with one another – things that they'd never shared with another human being. And Bella trusted Edward when he said that he loved her and she knew that she had never felt for anyone what she felt for Edward.

Yet they still didn't cross financial boundaries.

Ever since the Great Electric Bill Debacle, the only way Bella was able to share funds or make a purchase that benefited Edward was if he was unaware of it. If he saw evidence of fast food, a toy or clothing that Bella had purchased for Anthony, Edward would find a way to even the score, be it gas or coffee or food, he kept things as tit-for-tat as he could.

Nonetheless, it was almost a moot point for Bella to try to come to terms with why Edward seemed to be acting so weird around the issue of her possibly buying a house when she, herself, couldn't explain away her own uncanny feelings about it. Therefore she simply made light of Rosalie's comment in an effort to move the conversation on to another topic.

"Yeah, maybe. I'm so used to there being a problem around every corner," Bella said.

"Tell me about it," Rosalie said in agreement. "Two weeks ago I had a new job and was headed to a new city. Now I'm too broke to get there and my position has been put on hold indefinitely. Talk about screwed."

"I gained seven pounds," Alice added to the conversation. "I don't think you're supposed to gain weight this fast. If I don't watch it, I'm going to be as big as a house."

"Alice, you don't even look pregnant," Bella attempted to console her.

"Yeah, so how much am I going to gain when I actually _do_ look pregnant? I'm already short. I can't be short _and_ fat."

"You're not fat, Alice, you're pregnant. At the end of all this," she gestured to Alice's torso, "you get a baby. And you," she turned to Bella, "could have a house. But I…all I have is the stench of a jail cell etched into my memory and an ex-boyfriend who curses the day he ever met me."

Alice rolled her eyes as if to say 'here we go again', while Bella reached across the table and lightly patted Rosalie's hand.

"You know that's not true. Emmett doesn't feel that way about you," Bella stated softly in comfort. "Otherwise, why would he drive all that way just to bail you out of jail?"

"Yeah, but he hasn't said one word to me ever since," Rosalie pointed out.

"Don't even bother," Alice told Bella. "I've given her tons and tons of evidence to prove that Emmett still has feelings for her, and she won't listen to one word I say."

Rosalie spit out a loud pshaw. "Talk is cheap."

"Fine. Then what do you say about a man who drives all the way to Port Angeles to bail out a woman who dumped him for someone else?" Alice asked pointedly.

"I say that pregnancy makes you blunt, and I don't like it one bit," Rosalie said sourly. "And I didn't dump Emmett for someone else. We had a discussion and decided that we wanted different things. He wanted things to stay the same and I wanted-"

"Derek," Alice concluded.

"Ugh, don't even say that name," Rosalie planted her forehead on the table with a thud. Slowly she peeked up at her friends. "Am I ever going to live that down?"

Alice shrugged. "I might bring it up again as I toast you and Emmett at your wedding."

"Oh for the love of all that is holy, there isn't going to be any wedding!" Rosalie called out. Bella could tell by the smirk hiding behind the words that Rosalie secretly liked the idea of a wedding featuring herself and Emmett.

"I don't know," Alice sang out slowly and playfully. "When I mentioned our Christmas barbeque, the only thing he asked was if you were coming."

Rosalie swiftly sat up straight in her chair. "Why are you just now telling me this? When you mentioned the barbeque, you said nothing about Emmett. Now you're saying he asked about me? Tell me everything. What did he say?" Rosalie demanded.

"I just told you," Alice answered in boredom.

"Yes, but _how_ did he say it? Was he being sarcastic or serious? Did he look excited at the idea of me coming, or did it seem like he didn't want me there?"

Alice looked over at Bella with a '_shoot-me-now' _expression on her face.

"Why are you having a barbeque in December? This is Forks, not Maui," Bella wanted to know.

"Baby likes barbeque," Alice answered, choosing to answer Bella instead of get caught in Rosalie's web of endless interrogation. "You're coming right?"

"This is the first I've heard of it," Bella said.

Alice tossed a used napkin on the table before slapping her open palm down hard against the wood. "That's it. I'm going to kill Edward. He told me he was going to tell you about it weeks ago."

Alice then launched into a long explanation about how she and Jasper never got to have friends over for the holidays because everyone always went away to be with family.

"And everyone wants to save their hams and turkeys for Christmas dinner, so we figured we could barbeque chicken and tri-tip and all that good stuff. It's going to be so fun!" Alice squealed.

She was loud enough to disturb Anthony, who appeared from the back room, where he had been building a Lego kingdom. He walked up to where Bella was seated and leaned against her until he was able to slide onto her lap. He rested his head against her chest and lazily pulled his fingers through her long dark hair.

"You tired, baby?" Bella asked him.

Anthony nodded, but asked, "Can I have a snack?"

Bella ruffled Anthony's hair, which was growing out from his recent cut, and listed off a few acceptable snack items. He crinkled his nose at all the choices.

"Can I look for myself?" he asked, pointing to the refrigerator.

"Sure, you can have anything on the bottom two shelves, okay?"

Anthony scooted down and rushed over to the refrigerator and began sorting out his snack, while Alice looked on like she was going to bust out a pen and paper and begin taking notes at any moment.

Alice waited until Anthony made his selection and then retreated to the living room before she lowered her voice and addressed Bella.

"Can I ask an uncomfortable question?" she inquired.

"Sure," Bella shrugged. She readied herself for a question regarding Anthony's bathroom habits or something regarding little boy genitalia. Alice's bluntness knew no bounds.

"Have you thought about how Anthony is going to be affected if you and Edward don't work out?"

Bella was not expecting to be asked that, and was momentarily floored by the implication.

"Uh…" she stammered.

"Not that I think anything is going to go wrong," Alice quickly added. "It's just that he looks so attached to you and to think of what will happen if you suddenly disappear…"

"Well, I suppose it's like any other relationship that ends when a child is involved," Bella answered, her brow creased in consternation. "There are no guarantees, whether you're married or not. Just because Anthony isn't _my _son doesn't mean that I wouldn't try to be there for him if something happened between Edward and I-"

"Whoa, whoa," Alice put her hands up to put the brakes on Bella's response. "I wasn't implying that you were doing anything wrong. I've just been reading a lot and finding out a lot of different things. Like, did you know that if Jasper and I weren't married when the baby's born, he'd have to have a blood test to be listed as the birth father on the birth certificate? They wouldn't even take his word for it."

"That doesn't sound right," Rosalie shook her head.

"I read it on the Internet. A lady in California had to put '_Unknown_' down until her boyfriend could go in for a blood test," Alice restated. "After I read that, Jasper and I rushed down to the county and got our license."

"Alice, you can't believe everything you read on the Internet," Rosalie stated with authority. "I know tons of people who had babies that weren't married and listed their-"

"Wait a minute," Bella interrupted. "Did you just say that you and Jasper got _married_?"

"Yeah," Alice stated matter-of-fact. "It was no big deal. We got the license on Monday, tied the knot on Thursday at the county."

"No big deal?" Rosalie echoed. "You didn't even invite us!"

"We didn't want to make a big fuss. We'll have a party in the spring or something, after the baby's born."

Alice's no-nonsense attitude made everything seem so simple. As she listened to her friend speak, she wondered if she'd been simply over-complicating things when it came to her relationship with Edward. Often, she'd think about how strong her feelings were for him, and then immediately negate their intensity by weighing them against the length of time she'd been dating Edward, or how rocky their relationship had begun.

And then there was the issue of Anthony.

Years ago, if someone had told Bella she'd be dating a guy that had a kid, she'd have told them they were crazy. No way would she have wanted to walk into a ready-made family and all the baggage that came with that. That's exactly what first-year-of-college Bella would have said, and most likely the stance anyone who wasn't emotionally involved would have taken.

But in this instance, emotions were _definitely_ involved, forcing Bella to consider her life alongside Edward's and how her actions influenced him and vice versa.

"Okay, no long lecture," Bella stated flatly, "but do you think my buying a house could send Edward the wrong message?"

"I knew it! I knew you were stalling because of him," Rosalie pointed her finger at Bella.

"Just answer the question," Bella told her.

"And what wrong message would that be?" Rosalie asked with a sarcastic flair. "That you're a strong, independent woman who's making it on her own in this world?"

"Oooh," Alice looked at Bella as the light bulb came on. "Do we want him to think that she views herself as on her own? Because…well, she's not. She's with him."

Bella pointed to Alice in concurrence. "See?"

Rosalie sighed. "As your potential realtor, I say that you are on the brink of passing up something that you really want. You told me a long time ago, Bella, that if anything came up in that neighborhood, you'd buy it. The location is great, the price is right and you'd be investing in your own future.

"But as your friend, I'm not going to lie and say that I don't see your dilemma. I tried, once, to move forward without the love of my life and it ended up being a disaster. However, you said that you don't want a lecture, so I'm simply going to suggest that you learn from my mistakes and just talk to him, Bella."

"I've tried talking to him. He won't talk about it!" Bella raised her voice to get her point across.

"Have you? Or have you done that thing where you just dance around the issue without asking the hard questions?" Rosalie asked.

"What thing?" Bella asked. "I don't have a thing."

"You have a thing," Alice chimed in reluctantly.

"And not just with Edward. You do it with everybody," Rosalie said. "Just face him, Bella. Look him in the eye and ask him the one question you're most afraid to have the answer to."

"I'm not afraid of the answer," Bella looked down at her hands. "I'm afraid of what he'll think of me when I ask the question. What if I'm so off-base, and he's not thinking the same way that I am at all?"

Nonetheless, Bella truly heard what her friends were saying and determined in her mind to be an adult about the issue of buying a house and how Edward might view that. Truth be told, she did really want the house, and if it worked out, she would happily be a homeowner.

But more than the house, Bella wanted Edward. But an Edward who would begrudge her real estate ownership simply because he wasn't a homeowner or because he felt threatened by her financial freedom didn't sound all that appealing. Still, she knew she needed to face the issue instead of avoid it. And so the next day, she invited Edward over for dinner with the sole intention of having a heart-to-heart with him regarding the house.

But a small envelope on her doorstep completely changed the course of their evening.

"I smell p'sketti," Anthony frowned when he walked into Bella's apartment later that evening. "And I don't even like p'sketti."

"It's not _spaghetti_," Bella corrected him. "It's lasagna."

"Anthony, don't be rude, man," Edward told him as he leaned in and gave Bella a kiss. She could see the nervousness in his eyes. Ever since their relationship had turned exclusive, they'd ended up seeing one another for nearly every evening meal. So when Bella made it a point to invite Edward to dinner, it was his first clue that something was up.

"Hey, babe," he said in greeting before handing her a small cream colored envelope. "This was lying on your porch. Did you drop it?"

Thinking that it was one of Edward's ploys to get her to accept an early Christmas gift, Bella smiled at him in exasperation before taking the envelope from him and opening it.

It took her mind a few seconds to register that there had been no plan on Edward's part to dupe her.

_Bella,_

_ I hope this letter finds you well. While I have seen you around town a few times since our last encounter, I have wanted to respect yours and Edward's obvious decision to keep a distance between us. I also hope that you don't mind that I dropped this note off at your home. I don't know your actual mailing address, and I didn't want to impose with a phone call. And I'd be dishonest if I didn't say that a part of me is hoping that you might show this letter to Edward._

_ The reason I'm writing is a simple one. As you know, it's Christmas time, and nothing would bring me greater joy than to be able to give my only grandchild a gift. _

_ Oh Bella, I cannot tell you how my heart feels knowing that I have a grandson out there. Some days, it gets me through the hard parts and other days it __**is**__ the hard part. From the little acquaintance I have of Anthony, he reminds me so much of Edward and being able to give him a toy kind of takes me back to a happier, simpler time. _

_ I know that it's not up to you whether or not I give Anthony something; it's up to Edward. But I don't have a way of getting in touch with Edward. Our communication thus far has been one way, with him having the ability to contact me whenever he feels led. So, I'm asking that you pass my request on to him. If he's okay with my giving Anthony a gift, could you please give me a call and let me know? Edward has the number. I'm home most days, except for Thursday afternoons. Carlisle has his appointments on Thursdays. _

_ I hope to hear something soon. Have a wonderful Christmas, dear._

_ Love, Esme_

Bella looked up to see Edward watching her with caution. Tentatively, she held out the letter to him and he took it from her.

"What is it?" he asked.

"It's from your mother," Bella told him. "She wants to know if she can give Anthony a Christmas present."

Edward shrugged; a small pout appeared on his face and then slid away almost immediately. "Why'd she ask you?"

Bella gestured to the letter. "It's all there," she said.

Edward looked down at the letter and Bella could tell that he was forcing the disinterest that showed on his face. He held the letter far away from his body, like he was trying to decide whether to continue to read it or hand it back to Bella. Yet, he couldn't look away. His eyes scrolled over the paper effortlessly as he read. When he'd completed it, he folded the letter up and stuck it in his back pocket as if it was the newest menu from the Chinese take-out restaurant down the street.

"Yeah, whatever," he said. "I don't care if she wants to get Anthony something."

Bella leaned her weight against the kitchen counter as she surveyed Edward, watching for the reaction he'd have to what she was about to say.

"I think she's hoping you'll be the one to call her and tell her it's okay."

"She specifically asked for you to call her," Edward said, avoiding eye contact with Bella.

"Yeah, but she dropped a number of hints that she wants it to be you."

Edward frowned as he took out the letter and looked it over again. "Like what?"

"All that insistence that you call her in your own time and her asking me to call but not giving me the number; saying that you had it. And look at the way she ended: _I hope to hear something soon._ Most people would say 'I hope to hear from _you_ soon' or 'I hope you call' or something. She wants to hear something, but she doesn't want to hear it from me," Bella said.

The lackadaisical attitude returned. "She didn't say she wanted me to call her, so…"

"Edward, she wants you to call her," Bella reiterated. "Plus, it's Christmas. You'd make her day."

"I'll think about it," Edward decided.

Bella thought that was a vast improvement over how Edward usually reacted when Esme was mentioned. Instead of getting angry and sulking, he seemed a little quiet, but not frustrated or mad. He even joked around with Anthony as they made their way over to Bella's table to have a seat. She was so proud of him and she wanted to let him know exactly that. As she sat a glass of ice tea next to his plate, she leaned down and placed her lips next to his ear in preparation of whispering her accolades…

…but Edward turned and looked at her then, with the eyes of a frightened little boy, and the words out of his mouth superseded hers.

"I saw her," he said in a small voice.

"What?" Bella pulled back so that she could see him clearly. "Saw who? Your mother?"

Edward nodded stiffly. "The other day, at the grocery store." Edward looked up into Bella's eyes. "It was right before I came over to your place to pick up Anthony. I stopped off to get some milk, and I was sitting in my car, getting ready to back out of my parking space, when she walked out of the store. At first I thought she was doing that creepy stalking thing again, but the more I looked at her, I could just tell that she had no idea I was even there. She wasn't looking around trying to find me or anything. In fact, she looked kind of…lost. And then her bag broke and all her stuff spilled out on the sidewalk." Edward looked ashamed then. "I couldn't even get out of my car to help her. She was scrambling all over the place trying to keep her stuff out of the rain, her dress was flying up in the back, and I just sat there like an asshole. Watching."

"It's okay, Edward," Bella said as she rubbed his shoulder softly. "Anyone in your same situation would have done the same thing." But she could tell her words held no merit with him. He was feeling down on himself.

"You don't understand, Bella. I _couldn't _help her_._ I sat there paralyzed with…I don't even know what. I wasn't afraid or pissed or shy…I just sat there with my hand on the door handle. With my _trembling_ hand on the door handle like some kind of pussy."

Bella shook her head. "Edward, there are so many unknowns in that situation, that I know I probably would have done exactly the same thing. Like, why was she looking so lost? Or was she alone, or was your fa-, was Carlisle waiting in the car? Would she have wanted to have a conversation right then and there if you'd gotten out of the car? And are you even ready for a conversation with her?"

Edward nodded slowly. "I thought about all those things."

"Dad," Anthony stated in a low voice. He'd been quietly inspecting the plate of food Bella had set down in front of him. "You said a bad word."

"Sorry," Edward apologized to his son.

"Bella said you have to give me a quarter every time you say a bad word." Anthony made sure his hand was visible on the table in anticipation of having it filled with a coin.

"A quarter?" Edward looked over at Bella. "That could really add up!"

"It's got to sting a little bit if you want to change that bad habit," Bella told him.

Edward rolled his eyes and fished a quarter out of his pocket and handed it to Anthony, who accepted it with glee.

That lighthearted moment was fleeting, however. Edward retreated into himself during the meal, but when he noticed Bella watching him, he reached across the table and grabbed her hand. She recognized this gesture as the way Edward stayed connected with her when he didn't feel like talking. It was small, but it was his way of letting her in, though not through a wide open door, through a slightly ajar one.

Still, it was clear that a conversation about the subject of the house would not be a wise topic to broach that evening. So they spoke lightly about work, and about Jasper and Alice's soiree that they'd be attending the next evening. Bella told Edward about her mother's small tantrum over the fact that she wasn't "even stopping by" for Christmas and about the gift her father had shipped her to give to Anthony.

Throughout all of their interactions, Bella noticed that Edward kept her in close proximity. He held her hand, or wrapped his arm around her waist, kept his hand on her knee or thigh, or simply sat close enough that their bodies were touching in one way or another.

Bella understood this to mean that he needed her, so when the evening turned to night, she simply nodded when Anthony asked if he could sleep in the blue bed, knowing that Edward probably needed to stay the night. He confirmed her suspicions when he followed her up to her room and wrapped his arms around her, informing her that he needed to be with her.

"Can I stay?" he whispered.

"You don't have to ask," Bella told him. "But, remember, it's that time of the month. We can't…you know."

Edward shrugged his indifference, but later that night, when a goodnight kiss turned hot and heavy, he wanted a release not satiated by his girlfriend's hands.

"Can't we just do it in the shower?" he entreated her.

The initial thought did not sound at all appealing to Bella, but the more Edward kneaded her breasts and nuzzled her neck, the more the idea began to resonate with her. So much so, that in a matter of minutes, it was her, not him, that was leading the way to the shower. And instead of feeling embarrassed or disgusted at the mysteries of womanhood that Edward discovered, Bella felt herself, not only rejuvenated by their lovemaking, but also empowered by the level of intimacy that they shared.

Therefore, the next morning seemed like the perfect time to bring up the subject of the house. But when Bella woke up to an already dressed Edward, shaking her and telling her that he'd call her later, she had to again accept that it wasn't going to happen.

"Edward, where are you going?" Bella asked sleepily. "I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Yeah, okay," Edward nodded. "I'll call you later? I need to get Anthony home and fed."

"There's food here," Bella said as she struggled to sit up. "He likes cereal."

"Yeah, well, I also have to go get stamps, so I'll just get him something on the way."

"Edward, I have stamps," Bella frowned. It was such a strange item to make a special trip out of the house for so early in the morning.

"I figured I'd pick up something for that Christmas thing at Jasper's later, too," Edward said standing up.

Bella's morning brain-fog finally started to lift, and she was coherent enough to realize that Edward was just making excuses to put distance between them, so she didn't bother telling him that she'd already gotten a gift that they could give jointly to Alice and Jasper. Instead, she managed a near-silent, "okay" before throwing back the covers and climbing out of bed.

When she emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later, Edward was still standing in her room.

"I'm need to take care of this, too, Bella," he held up the white envelope that housed Esme's letter. "Before I lose my nerve."

"Oh. Okay." Bella was slightly irritated that he didn't own up to the issue sooner, but she held her tongue. The last thing she wanted to do was argue with Edward first thing in the morning.

And why would she want to argue with him in the privacy of her own home when she could have a heated blowout in front of their friends at Alice and Jasper's Christmas barbecue?

When Edward returned to pick Bella up hours later, on his way to Jasper's, she had stewed long enough on the matter to elevate her irritation to annoyance. And when he only offered her one word responses regarding his interaction with Esme, her annoyance turned to anger. Silently she seethed on her side of the car as they drove the short distance to their friends' home.

Edward didn't seem to notice.

"No luck on the house?" He simply asked when he'd pulled up across the street from the house Bella wanted to buy. His mood seemed to shift slightly and he looked a little…hopeful?

Not understanding the question, Bella looked over at the property to see it standing just the way it had been the last time she'd seen it.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"There's no 'For Sale' sign," he said.

"There's no 'For Sale' sign _yet_," she corrected.

"Oh," he sank back against his seat. "So you're still looking into it?"

"Yes," Bella said with authority. "I really like the house, Edward. And everything seems to point in the direction of it being a good deal."

"Great," Edward added with a counterfeit enthusiasm. "Sounds great."

"Really?" Bella dug. She knew her timing couldn't have been worse, but he'd brought it up, and she wanted to take advantage of the opportunity.

Or what she'd thought was an opportunity.

"Yep," Edward got out of the car suddenly and set Anthony free. He then proceeded to follow after his scampering son, effectively ending the conversation.

And though Edward didn't seem to acknowledge Bella's anger, that now skirted on the edge of rage, Alice and Rosalie noticed immediately.

"What the hell is going on?" Alice asked when the women were alone in the kitchen.

"You cornered him on the house issue and he blew up, didn't he?" Rosalie asked knowingly.

Bella shook her head. There were a few people present that Bella didn't really know, so she didn't want to go into detail about her personal life.

"No. Nothing like that," Bella said as she shied away from the explanation.

"Or, let me guess," Rosalie said sarcastically, "you still haven't even talked to him about it."

"We've talked about it," Bella danced around the truth. "Just not in detail."

"Bella," Rosalie sighed. "The house is already getting inquiries from other buyers. No one has said anything about writing an offer yet, but if something comes through…"

"I know I need to make a decision soon, and I will," Bella promised. "Can I call you about it tomorrow?"

"Really?" Rosalie seemed shocked.

"Yes," Bella affirmed. Maybe the deadline would help her get her act together and face Edward once and for all.

Rosalie was elated by Bella's commitment, but before her friend could nail her down on anything further, Bella took a stroll out of the kitchen and around the house. In an effort to just be by herself for a little bit, she browsed all of Alice's Christmas decorations and people-watched some of the other guests.

Edward wasn't anywhere to be found, but she noticed Anthony eyeing some of the other children that were present. The look on his face revealed that he wasn't really enjoying their company, and when Bella tip-toed closer, she learned that it was because the other children were not being very nice to him.

"You're not five," a little girl with blonde hair and dark brown eyes stated assertively. "My brother's five and he's way bigger than you."

"I am five," Anthony insisted with a scowl. "And I'm in kindergarten."

"You're in baby school," the girl said, and then threw her head back in laughter. The other two children there, who looked as if they were siblings, howled along with her. Anthony's face scrunched up in fury, and he looked like he was going to cry. He balled his hands into fists instead and stomped his foot.

"I am five!" he yelled. "And my dad said I'm gonna be big like him, and he's really big!"

Though his words didn't seem to have any worth with his opponents, Bella was proud of him for using his words.

"Almost five-and-a-half," Bella added as she made her presence known. She looked over at the other children as she put her arm around Anthony and drew him close to her side. She didn't recognize any of them and guessed that they didn't go to Forks Elementary. "Who are your friends, Anthony?"

"They're not my friends," Anthony scowled. "They're mean."

If they'd been at school, and Bella had been acting as Anthony's teacher, she would have amended his unkind words and asked him to restate them. But they weren't in school, and she wasn't acting as his teacher. She was acting as a person who wanted to give those kids a good tongue-lashing for upsetting a little boy who meant the world to her.

"Oh, well in that case," Bella grinned down at Anthony, "we'll let Santa deal with their poor behavior choices and we'll go get some ice cream."

"You can't have ice cream," the girl told Anthony instead of Bella. "You didn't have dinner yet."

"He can have ice cream," Bella told the girl. "His kindergarten teacher says so." And taking Anthony by the hand, they left the kids standing there looking bewildered.

Anthony's eyes twinkled as Bella handed him a small cup of ice cream that she'd wrangled from Alice's maternity snack pile. They went on the back deck and took an unoccupied seat near one of the space heaters.

"I didn't like those kids. They were calling me names," Anthony said as he put a spoonful of the cold cream into his mouth.

"Being mean is their problem, Anthony. Don't let it be yours," Bella told him. "You just keep being the cute, sweet, special little boy that you are, and you'll be great. Mean people don't have much fun," Bella told him.

Anthony laughed. "And they don't get ice cream."

"They sure don't," Bella smiled as she tousled his hair. "Did you have a good day today?"

Anthony nodded emphatically. "Me and Dad made a table for my train."

"Did you get a new train?" Bella asked, wondering if Edward had given Anthony an early Christmas present.

"Not yet, but a friend is giving me a big train for Christmas. It used to be Dad's when he was six," Anthony explained.

Bella watched Anthony kick his feet as he enjoyed the last few morsels of his ice cream and let the significance of what he'd just told her sink in.

Bella had to hand it to Esme – she was a very smart woman. In requesting Edward to allow her to present Anthony with a gift, she'd found a way to not only bridge the past with the present, but to also show Edward that she'd kept his memory alive all these years by holding on to his things. That is not something a mother who'd tossed her son away would do, and Bella was sure that point was even stronger after Edward's visit to Oregon, where he got to see how his well-loved son's treasures were so diligently and lovingly preserved.

The new information simmered the heat of the resentment Bella was feeling toward Edward, and she wondered how he was feeling as he processed whatever his mother had told him earlier. She wanted Edward to willingly share the information with her, but she knew that wouldn't happen if she antagonized or avoided him for the evening.

"Hey, Anthony, do you want to play checkers?" Bella asked suddenly.

"Yes!" Anthony shouted, always up for his favorite game.

However, Bella didn't explain that she wouldn't be his playmate for the evening. Instead, she led Anthony over to a boy whom she'd noticed earlier playing nicely with his younger sister. She introduced herself and then Anthony, and asked him if he liked to play checkers.

"Sometimes," said the little boy, who'd told Bella his name was Braden.

"Well Anthony, here, is really good. Would you like to play him?" Bella asked.

When Braden agreed, Bella set the two of them up in a corner of the room, and asked Rosalie to keep an eye on them before scurrying off to find Edward.

However, finding him didn't prove to be an easy feat. After it was determined that he was nowhere inside the house, Bella braved the evening air, which seemed to be getting colder by the minute, and searched amongst the other guests for Edward's signature disheveled locks.

When she didn't find him there, she moved to the front of the house, thinking he might be in the driveway, checking out the new classic car of one of his co-workers.

Yet when she made it to the front of the house, she found Jasper there with a bunch of other automobile lovers, but no Edward. Nor was he near his car. Bella was just about to go inside for her second sweep of the house when she heard Emmett's voice through the thin metal of the garage door. With fast steps, Bella rounded the side of the house, toward the side entrance of the garage, which was slightly propped open.

"You're making a big deal outta nothin'," she overheard Emmett say.

"It's not nothing," Edward insisted.

Bella was relieved at having located Edward. She leaned against the door frame and was just about to call out to him when she heard him speak her name.

"I would never do something that big if I was considering a future with a person. Bella either doesn't feel that way, or she doesn't think we have a future together," Edward said to his intended party.

"I still think you're blowing this out of proportion, but if the house thing bugs you that much, you owe it to yourself to say something," Emmett repeated. "Why can't you just talk to her about it?"

"Yeah, why can't you just talk to her about it?" Bella interrupted, staring at Edward. The warm feelings she'd been feeling toward him seconds ago vanished as she realized he'd been talking to Emmett about a subject that he should have been talking to her about. "What the hell, Edward?" she asked, entering the garage and crossing the cluttered space toward him.

"Bella," Edward faced her, immediately looking uncomfortable. "I was just talking to Emmett about-"

"Me," she interjected. "Yeah, I heard." Bella put her hands on her hips. "Any particular reason why you're talking to him instead of me?"

Edward's right eye twitched minutely, and Bella could tell he was wary of a confrontation. "I can talk to my friends," he said indignantly.

"I'm not saying that you can't, Edward. I just didn't know that I wasn't counted among them," Bella retorted.

"Oh don't be so dramatic," Edward rolled his eyes. "And don't stand there acting like you don't do the same exact thing. Which is why I had to find out about you buying a house from my _kid_ because he overheard you and your friends yappin' about it!"

"That's different!" Bella spouted. "Rosalie was acting in a professional capacity as a realtor when she told me about the house."

"Yeah, whatever. I don't even care."

"You seem to care enough to talk to Emmett about it; to accuse me of not being as invested in this relationship as you are."

"I didn't say that. Don't put words in my mouth, Bella."

Emmett looked extremely uncomfortable as his eyes volleyed between his feuding friends. He backed into Jasper's tool bench as he tried to escape the scene, and the noise caused Alice to open up the door that led into the house, as she sought out the source of the commotion.

"Everything okay out here?" she asked.

Both Edward and Bella ignored the question, but Emmett pointed into the house, warning her to go back inside and doing the same himself. Yet before Alice had a chance to close the door, Rosalie looked out to see what was going on.

"Then tell me, Edward. What exactly did you mean when you said that I don't think we have a future together?"

"Not now, Bella," Edward warned.

"Then when?" Bella blocked his path from leaving. "You spent the entire night with me and didn't say a word about how you were feeling. Then you bolted out of my house this morning without a word-"

"Maybe I had shit on my mind, Bella!"

"Then you should have talked to me about it!"

"I couldn't!"

"Why not?"

The door hinges creaked before Alice's voice was lightly heard about the din of Edward and Bella's argument.

"Um, guys?" she asked sheepishly. "Can we maybe…take it down a few decibels?"

Bella's eyes fixed on Edward's; the sound of their rushed breathing mingled in the air. Neither of them verbally acknowledged Alice, but when they spoke again, their voices were lower.

"Why won't you talk to me, Edward? What am I doing that makes you think I don't want to hear what you have to say?" The hurt Bella was feeling reverberated in her words.

"Nothing," Edward said softly. "You're not doing anything. It's…I hate…"

"What, Edward? What do you hate? Please, talk to me."

"I just get tired of how fucked up my shit is, okay?" Edward finally looked at her. "Look at the first vacation we took together. Where most couples go to the beach or camping, you and me go pick up furniture and shit left behind by the death of my kid's mother. And if that isn't enough, my mother, leaves a note on _your_ doorstep because she's too afraid to call me. Meanwhile, your mother is pitching a fit because she can't have her Norman Rockwell Christmas because you're slummin' it with your low class boyfriend in Forks."

Tears of frustration sprang to Bella's eyes. "Are we still here?" she asked him. "Do you still look at me and see someone who looks at your past or the hand life dealt you? Do you not see that I _want_ to be there for you, Edward? That I respect you, and admire you and that I'm so madly in love with you that it scares the shit out of me?"

Edward gestured to himself. "This is it, Bella," he said. "This is who I am: barely a high school graduate with a dead end job, a childhood that even I don't understand, parents who can't talk to me…"

"Edward," Bella held up her hand to stop him. "I want you to talk to me, but I am not going to put up with you talking about my boyfriend that way. You're very smart, which is why you graduated high school _and_ why you got a promotion at work. Nobody made you graduate from high school, nor did they make you have such a wonderful work ethic that in a time when most everyone else was getting laid off, you got a promotion. And yes, your childhood is ambiguous, but that will change." Bella rubbed away the wetness from her eyes. "And I owe you an apology."

"You don't owe me anything," Edward said quickly.

"No, I do," Bella stated adamantly. "You were right when you said I should have talked to you about the house. I know I should have. I was just… afraid."

"Bella, if you want the house, I'm not going to tell you not to get it. I wouldn't do that," Edward began. "And I don't think that. I was mainly just pissed at myself because I waited too late to ask you to move in with me."

"You were going to ask me to move in with you?" Bella was astounded. She didn't see that coming.

"I know we haven't been together that long, and you're very practical, so I didn't think you'd be up for moving in with me after only a few months."

Bella started laughing then, and once she started, she couldn't stop. The highly charged emotions she'd been feeling for the past few hours evaporated under the laughter. Edward looked puzzled by the inappropriateness of her giggles and not amused at all. Finally, when she was able to catch her breath, she explained.

"I was worried about the same thing," she finally said. "I was worried that you'd think I was acting prematurely if I asked you about the house – that maybe I was putting our relationship on a level that we haven't reached yet."

"There are levels?" Edward asked as he reached out and took Bella's hand in his.

"Theoretically," Bella exhaled as she allowed Edward to lift her open palm to his mouth and place a kiss there.

"So, when you take a ten-hour round trip drive with your girlfriend, and miss her the second she leaves your side, what level is that?" Edward asked.

"Um…level three, I think," Bella smiled.

"And when you tell said girlfriend all your fucked up shit and it doesn't scare her away, what level is that?"

"Probably a level…seven," Bella supposed.

"And when the most perfect woman in the world tells you that she's crazy in love with you and you think you might just be crazy in love with her enough to believe it, what level is that?"

Bella smiled as she wrapped her arms around Edward's neck. "Probably the level at which crazy-in-love woman decides to move in with crazy-in-love man."

"Bella," Edward spoke, the expression on his face the epitome of seriousness. He pulled Bella's arms from around his neck and held her hands in his. His glare was knife-like as he looked upon her unrelentingly. "What about when crazy-in-love man realizes he wants to spend the rest of his life with crazy-in-love woman. What level is that?"


	32. Chapter 32 Time After Time

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 32 – Time After Time**

Edward watched the way Alice and Rosalie tried to act like they weren't looking at him and Bella as they re-entered the house from the garage. He smiled to himself as he realized they were trying to gauge whether or not he and Bella had called it quits.

Okay, maybe their words _had_ gotten a little bit heated, but surely nobody expected him to end things with Bella. She was the best thing that had ever happened to him, besides Anthony, and Edward was pretty certain that he wasn't the only one who could tell.

"Bella, I'm about to put the food on the table. Do you want to help?" Alice asked.

No need to have it spelled out for him. Alice might as well have asked Bella to come into the kitchen so that she could ask her twenty questions about what had transpired in the garage. It was obvious that inquiring minds wanted to know.

"Uh…I'm going to check on Anthony and then duck into the bathroom for a minute. I'll check in to see if you still need help when I'm done, okay?" Bella swiftly exited and didn't wait for Alice's response.

Which was why both Rosalie and Alice moved in on Edward as soon as Bella left the room.

"Is everything okay?" Alice asked with wide eyes. "Is she okay?" she motioned toward the exit Bella had just taken.

"Yeah, it's cool," Edward answered vaguely as he sauntered out of the kitchen and into the living room where Bella was hovering over Anthony and another boy as they played checkers.

"So…" Bella said when Edward walked over to her and put his arm around her waist. "I'm thinking we need to have a conversation," she told him. "One that doesn't involve a houseful of our friends."

"You wanna take off?" Edward suggested.

Bella thought for a minute and then nodded. "Yeah. Because if we stay here, all we're gonna get is a bunch of questions, and I'm not even sure I know the answer to them yet."

Edward nodded stiffly, not quite sure what Bella meant by her comment, yet knowing that soon enough, he'd find the answer out when they were alone.

"C'mon, Anthony. Get your coat. We're leaving," Edward told him.

Anthony looked to Bella for an explanation. "But I haven't had my dinner yet," he complained.

"We'll pack something up for you to take home, okay?" Bella offered. When Anthony looked amenable to this plan, Bella went back to the kitchen and Edward helped Anthony into his coat before following after her.

"What do you mean you're leaving?" Alice was eying Bella with concern when Edward walked up and stood by her side. Alice's eyes fleetingly shifted to Edward before focusing on Bella once again.

"We just…need to go," Bella answered softly and indistinctly.

"Why? What happened?" Alice asked, her spoon poised midair.

"Nothing. Nothing happened," Bella glanced back at Edward. "I'll call you tomorrow. But everything's fine."

When Alice didn't look convinced, and didn't stop staring, Rosalie came over to see what the holdup with dinner was.

"What's going on? Where are you guys off to?" Rosalie asked. Edward could tell that she was trying to signal Bella with her eyes.

"We just have something we need to do, that's all." Bella shrugged.

"Um, Edward? Did you get Anthony's coat?" Alice asked.

Anthony laughed at Alice's comment. "I'm wearing my coat!"

Edward smirked at Alice's obvious attempt to get Bella alone so that she could drill her for information.

"Oh," Alice said as she took notice. "So you are." In defeat, she dished up a small plate of food when both Edward and Bella declined a portion, and handed it down to Anthony.

"Thank you. Merry Christmas," he said, just like the adults he'd heard earlier when they'd entered the house.

Rosalie smiled at him. "I hope it's going to be a Merry Christmas. What do you think Santa is going to bring to you?"

"I think a train, because my dad made a table for it," Anthony said.

Rosalie nodded. "And what do you think Santa is bringing for Bella?" Her words were for Anthony, but her eyes were on Bella.

Edward rolled his eyes at how amateur Rosalie and Alice were in their attempts at investigation. Rosalie was clearly fishing for whether or not Bella would still be around at Christmas. Did they seriously not know how transparent they were being?

"Oh, I don't know," Bella grinned over at Edward before adding slyly, "maybe a ring."

Suddenly the room seemed to implode with silence as Rosalie and Alice struggled to comprehend exactly what Bella had just admitted.

And then the "Alice shrill" was heard throughout the room.

Anthony jumped back in fear and tried to climb Edward to get away from the offensive sound, and Bella shushed her friend repetitively. However, she wasn't able to do it fast enough to keep Emmett and Jasper from coming over to see if everything was alright.

"They're getting married! They're getting married!" Alice hopped up and down emphatically while pointing at Edward and Bella.

"Really?" Emmett looked genuinely surprised, most likely because he'd witnessed the heated discussion between Edward and Bella only minutes before.

"We just…" Bella paused and looked over at Edward in confusion. But if she was waiting for him to tell her how to handle things, someone would have to tell him first.

Truthfully, Edward had been thinking about proposing, but only in the way that people dream and fantasize about winning the lottery and all the things they would buy. Never in a million years did he expect Bella to want to marry him after the few months that they'd been dating. And when the words fell from his lips, he was just as shocked to be admitting them as she was to be hearing them.

_Those last few minutes alone in the garage had happened so fast…_

For a very long and very frightening thirty seconds, Bella had stood staring at him, her eyes filled with a mixture of confusion, anxiety and shock.

"Did you…? Are you…?" She'd had trouble getting a complete sentence out of her mouth. "Edward…" she'd finally gasped. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

It would have been cowardly for him to say exactly what he'd been thinking, which was that what he may or may not have been saying depended largely upon how she might answer. But before he'd had a chance to admit his fear of her answer, Jasper poked his head in the garage and said the only thing that could have moved both Edward and Bella in that moment.

"I think the little guy is having a problem. He's asking for ya'll."

Immediately Bella and Edward had gone inside, and, after a brief interruption from Alice, were at Anthony's side to tend to his needs. Luckily, he was in no trouble at all – only hungry – and a little concerned that he hadn't seen Bella or Edward anywhere in the house.

After that whirlwind of events, Edward found himself on the way back to his home, with no more confirmation of Bella's answer than what she'd told their friends:

_Maybe._

The car was completely silent as he drove along the road and then pulled to a stop in his driveway.

Bella seemed to be completely in tune with what he was thinking. She was silent as they walked to the front door, and once inside, she busied herself with reheating Anthony's food while Edward tended to his son and got him situated.

It wasn't until after Anthony went upstairs to bed that they sat alongside one another on the couch and truly faced what they'd started at Alice and Jasper's house.

"You said 'maybe'," Edward blurted out. He'd been holding it in too long.

"I said maybe to what?" Bella asked.

"When Rosalie asked you what you were getting for Christmas. You said maybe a ring," Edward clarified.

"Are you telling me that you're definitely getting me a ring?" Bella cocked an eyebrow in Edward's direction.

_Wait a minute…_

"So you weren't saying maybe to marrying me?" Edward asked.

Bella smiled and then shook her head at Edward. "You're cheating," she told him. "You don't get to ask me if I'll say yes to a proposal. That's not the way it works. You propose first, and _then_ you get the answer."

Edward smiled. Bella was being playful. This was definitely a good thing.

"So, you want a proposal?" he asked.

"If you want an answer, I want a proposal," Bella told him. "I don't think it's too much to ask, Edward."

"No. No, it's not," he smiled. "Okay," he shrugged. He put his feet on the coffee table and reached for the remote control before flipping on the television. He grinned when he looked over and saw Bella watching him in shock. "What?"

"What do you mean, 'what'? We're not done here," she said.

"Sure we are," Edward said. "You said you wanted a proposal, right?"

"Right."

"And proposals are usually unexpected, right?"

Bella acquiesced, realizing what he was saying. "Right."

"Okay, so at a time and place of my own choosing, I will propose."

"And I shall answer," she stated.

"All right," Edward nodded, pretending to be interested in the television show. In actuality, he was screaming on the inside, wondering when and how he was going to propose to Bella.

"Edward?" she squeezed his hand softly to get his attention. "All kidding aside, I do kind of have a time sensitive issue I'm dealing with."

"The house." Edward knew immediately what she was speaking about.

"Right."

"If you like it, Bella, go ahead and buy it," Edward said.

"Edward, two seconds ago we were talking about marriage proposals. You can't expect me to make this kind of decision on my own, without you, if we're seriously considering getting married," Bella told him.

Edward switched off the television, which he'd only turned on to rouse Bella, and sat up to look Bella in the eye.

"I can't make this decision for you, babe. I wouldn't know where to begin," he told her honestly.

"Okay," Bella stated. "Well, let's start where I started, with my apartment. My lease is up in two months. I either have to renew my lease or find someplace else to live."

"So move in here with me," Edward suggested.

Bella nodded. "Okay, and if I move in here with you, taxes are going to kill us – or me, actually, because you can claim Anthony as a dependent."

"Well…" Edward thought for a moment. "Buying a house just sounds so expensive. Don't you have to put up a bunch of money?"

"Sort of, but I get a rebate through the teachers' union that counts toward a down payment, plus I qualify for a federal program that finances up to 100 percent of the purchase price. All I have to come up with is a thousand dollars to take the house off the market."

"And what about the mortgage payment?" Edward asked.

"It's a little more," she hedged, "but the interest is tax deductible…" she paused and looked over at Edward. "And it wouldn't be more if we shared it."

"But I'm locked in a lease here until June. I can't pay a mortgage _and_ rent."

"Well what about if we waited until June?"

"I don't think the house will still be available then, do you?"

Bella laughed. "I meant for you to move in, silly. Anthony will be graduating from my class and will have a new teacher. It'll be less confusing for him."

"That's true," Edward hedged.

"And you plan on staying at the mill, right? And I don't plan on leaving my job anytime soon. And I really like the house, Edward."

Edward stared at the carpet beneath his feet for a long while. "I hate making spur of the moment decisions like this, Bella. Can I have a little bit more time?"

Bella nodded. "Sure. But I don't really have that much time. The seller is going to accept other offers soon."

"Two days," Edward bartered. "Just give me two days to wrap my mind around it."

"Will you at least come look at it during that time?" Bella asked.

Edward quickly said that he would. It wasn't his intention to deny Bella something she so obviously wanted. It was just a very frightening venture because it was so expensive. It had only been a short time since Edward wasn't living paycheck to paycheck, and he wasn't anxious to enter into any situations that might catapult him back there.

"Now, will you do a favor for me?" Edward asked.

"Sure." The way Bella blindly agreed to help him, without even knowing what he was going to ask, solidified why she was hopefully going to be the last girlfriend he ever had.

"I have to…go get that train…from Esme…" Edward trailed off.

"Oh," Bella said quietly. "Did you want me to come with you?"

"Not this time," Edward looked over at her shyly. "I don't want to put you through that again…or Anthony."

"Okay. I'll keep Anthony. When are you going?"

"Day after tomorrow."

Bella agreed, with no argument, to looking after Anthony, and the next day Edward effortlessly fulfilled his bargain to Bella and accompanied her for another look at the house she was considering buying.

"It smells funny in here," Anthony announced as they crossed the threshold inside.

"That's called potpourri," Rosalie said quickly. "It smells Christmassy."

Edward couldn't help agreeing with his son. It didn't smell like Christmas at all, but he kept his comments to himself and walked around and listened to Bella point out the things that she liked. She'd made mention of the arched entryways so many times that Edward began to take notice of them each time he passed under one.

After he'd heard his fill about the tile entryway and the new cabinets in the kitchen, Edward and Anthony took off to wander on their own. He headed toward the back of the house to the bedrooms. Immediately he took in the layout of the master bedroom. He peeked inside the master bathroom and noted the size of the shower. He briefly noticed the double sinks before realizing that he was alone.

"Anthony?" he called as he walked out of the bedroom and down the hall. He walked into two other bedrooms before he finally found Anthony standing in the middle of what looked to be the fourth bedroom in the house.

A sense of déjà vu hit Edward as soon as he was surrounded by the light-denim colored walls trimmed in oak moldings. His eyes landed upon a built-in oak bookcase that lined the far wall.

Suddenly he was seven years old again, standing in his bedroom staring up at the trophy he'd just brought home from the end of the season baseball party. It was mainly for participation, as all of the boys on the team had gotten one, but Edward had cherished that trophy so much.

And then there were books. Titles he couldn't remember, but the colorful jackets adorned with cars and airplanes and various sports equipment were vivid in his imagination.

There was a pair of plaid blue and white curtains, a captain's bed and in the far corner, a waist-high train table which housed a hobby-sized train and an intricate, realistic display of scenery.

"Is this our new house, Dad?"

Anthony's voice stirred Edward out of his memory and his childhood bedroom faded from before his eyes.

Edward looked down at his son and saw the uncertainty staring back at him. The wonder at possibly being left behind or having his world turned upside down once again with another move.

And there would be other moves. Anytime the landlord decided he wanted a bigger profit, or refused to make necessary repairs or an intolerable neighbor moved in, it would be the catalyst for a new address.

"How many bedrooms have you had, Anthony?" Edward asked.

Anthony started to count on his small fingers before giving up. "A lot," he settled.

Edward looked around at the room again, but this time, instead of blue walls and oak trim, he saw roots. He saw a bedroom that had the potential to be remembered as a safe place with a sense of ownership; a token of a happy childhood, instead of the multitude of stale, impersonal spaces that sprinkled Anthony's memory.

"There you are," Bella sighed when she caught up to Edward and Anthony. "See something you like?"

Edward gestured toward Anthony. "He likes this room."

"What about you? Do you like the house?" she asked.

"The house is nice," Edward said. It had never been an issue of aesthetics. "I just don't want to bite off more than I can chew – financially."

"Neither do I," Bella told him. "But I've done the math, Edward. I can afford this house on my own. So between the two of us, we'll be fine."

"I guess I just need to see the numbers," he said.

Bella nodded. "Of course."

"But if it really is an option," Edward looked over at Anthony, "then yeah. Let's do it."

"Really?" Bella's eyes sparkled with excitement.

"Yeah."

"Oh, Edward!"

He barely caught her as she leapt into his arms.

"Thank you, baby," she spoke into his jacket collar.

Rosalie entered the room then and watched Edward and Bella silently for a few moments before holding her hand out to Anthony and taking him on a voyage to the backyard. From where they stood, Edward and Bella could hear Anthony's appreciation of the vast space as he walked onto the back patio.

"Well aren't you the cheap date," Edward smiled down at Bella. "All I have to do is agree to buy a house with you and you're all over me."

"Yeah, well, you should see me with a ring on my finger," Bella winked.

"Is that a hint of your answer, Miss Swan?"

"Maybe," she smiled before indulging him with a kiss.

And later that night, after showing him an impressive sheet of calculations for the purchase of the house, she continued to show him how happy he'd made her that day.

However, try as he might to enjoy the diversion of being close to Bella, and even making love to her that night, it wasn't enough to distract him from what he had to do the following afternoon.

"Alice called," Bella said the next morning when Edward woke up to find her in the kitchen with a full cup of coffee. "She's begging me to go with her to register for the baby."

"Knowing Alice, that'll take all day," Edward said, still groggy with sleep.

"I know. But I'm hoping she'll have mercy on Anthony and only keep us a few hours. I want to be home when you get back."

Edward nodded. He knew Bella hadn't forgotten about his trip to see his mother any more than he had. And even though it was disguised as a gift-collecting mission for Anthony, Edward knew that Esme had expectations for his visit. And even though he didn't know what those expectations were, he knew he would let her down.

So he was only slightly surprised, three hours later, when she greeted him on her doorstep with a flair of disappointment in her eyes.

"Anthony isn't with you?" she asked.

"No. He's spending the afternoon with Bella," Edward answered.

"Oh…but I thought…nevermind." Esme put a smile on her face and stepped aside so that Edward could enter the house.

He hesitated for a moment and Esme pretended not to know why.

"I'm sorry that the house is so chilly," She said lightly. "The hot air bothers Carlisle's sinuses. Since he's not here, I turned up the heat, but I'm afraid it's going to take a little bit before we feel the effects."

"He's gone, then?" Edward made sure. That last thing he wanted was a repeat of his last encounter.

"Yes. He had…an appointment. He won't be back for at least a couple of hours," Esme explained.

Edward nodded at the news and then slowly entered the house. His eyes shifted around the interior, searching for the little touches that he might remember from his youth.

There were many.

A very old picture of his grandmother hung in the entryway. An elephant shaped umbrella stand that bore a hairline crack from when a four-year-old Edward had tried to 'ride' it. The etched china in a curio cabinet.

And then there was the smell.

It was a combination of lavender laundry soap, cinnamon, lemon cleanser, rain and sunshine. If it were ever possible to market such a scent, Edward was certain that the label affixed to the bottle would read 'Home'.

"Can I offer you something to drink? Are you hungry?" Esme walked over to the small kitchen table and pulled out a chair.

Edward noticed that there was a small juice box on the table in addition to a plate of cookies.

"Sorry," Esme apologized when she saw Edward eyeing the small fare. "I thought Anthony was going to be with you."

"Yeah…I…it's a Christmas present so…you know…I thought it was probably better if he didn't see it ahead of time," Edward stammered.

Suddenly Esme put her hand to her chest and let out a tinkling laugh. "Oh my goodness! I am so out of practice with the holidays that I completely forgot about that!"

The rigidity of her stance and the pointed expression on her face softened as she continued to giggle. Her entire countenance lightened as she let go of the notion that Edward hadn't wanted her to see Anthony.

"Know what else I did that wasn't very smart?" Esme rolled her eyes at her own foolishness. "I put the train out, in the garage, in case Anthony wanted to play with it. We'll have to pack it up."

But as soon as Edward saw the model train sprawled out on a table in the middle of the garage, he was no longer convinced that his mother had lost sight of the objective of Edward's visit. Taking down and packing up the train was going to take him quite a bit of time – time he was guaranteed to be in her presence.

"This looks like it'll take a while to pack up. Maybe I should come back when I have more time," Edward hinted. He didn't want to still be in the garage when Carlisle returned from his "appointment".

"I set this entire thing up in less than an hour. It won't take that long to take it down," Esme said.

"But these train cars need to be wrapped up. And all these trees and buildings and…" he eased up on his words when he noticed Esme pointing to a stack of cartons against the wall of the garage.

"Everything goes in there." She picked up one of the foam lined cartons and brought it over to the table. "See? Like this."

Edward followed suit, and began to place the train cars in their appropriate indentations in the foam.

"I can't believe you kept all this." Edward spoke so softly, as if he wanted to say the words, yet he didn't want Esme to hear them.

"Of course I kept it, Edward. These were your things. I thought you were coming back." Esme kept her hands and eyes busy as she spoke. "Every day I hoped that you'd walk through my front door."

Edward didn't know what to say to that, so he said nothing. The silence in the cold space of the garage was nearly suffocating and for a moment Edward considered walking outside in the frigid air to escape it.

Esme didn't say anything else, nor did she press Edward to respond. She simply went about what she was doing, filling up the cartons and stacking them at the front of the garage.

To avoid watching her, Edward looked about the garage at the boxes neatly stacked on shelves. Most of them were marked by years; a few by the rooms in which the contents belonged.

Three were marked with his name.

He looked away from them quickly and hastened his pace on packing up the trains. He had to get out of there – away from the haunting memories of his past and away from whatever was in those boxes to remind him of it.

"Do you remember playing with this train?" Esme asked. Her tone indicated that she was oblivious to the fact that Edward was about to have an anxiety attack.

"No," Edward lied. He did remember the train. He remembered the day he got it – for Christmas – and how he and his father had spent hours setting up the track and repositioning all the scenes that came with it.

"You were about Anthony's age when we gave it to you," Esme reminisced. "And the entire time it was being set up, you kept asking how Santa got it down the chimney without crushing it. I think you were on to us long before you demanded we let you in on the secret of Santa." Esme stole a glance at Edward. "Does Anthony still believe in Santa?"

"Yeah," Edward smiled to himself at the memory of Anthony sitting on Santa's lap.

"Have you taken him to see Santa yet?" Esme asked expectantly.

"Yeah."

"Oh I bet that was a sight to see! Did he get excited? You used to get excited. Well, except for the first time, when you cried, but you were only-"

"Stop," Edward said forcefully. When he saw that his brashness caused the hurt expression on Esme's face, he added, "Please."

"I'm sorry," Esme diverted her eyes. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"I'm not upset," Edward said quickly. "I just don't need to pretend, that's all."

"Pretend?"

"Look, I know my life was messed up, okay? I don't need you to try to act like it wasn't."

"Edward," Esme rounded the table and took a step closer to Edward. "I don't know the full extent of what you've been through, and one day, when you're ready to tell me, I'll be ready to hear it. But those bad memories don't erase the good ones. And there were lots of good memories, Edward."

Edward didn't acknowledge her words, and her close proximity made him uncomfortable, so he stepped over to the stack of boxes that housed the train as if he was examining them.

"I'm gonna go open my car and start loading these boxes up," he announced.

"Okay. I'll get the garage door," Esme offered. She stayed motionless until he walked toward the exit, as if assuring him the greatest amount of distance between them.

Edward's feet shuffled to the concrete step that would bring him level to the interior door of the garage, but instead of step up on it, he stood there, his back turned to Esme, and his eyes on the wall.

"Is it true?" he asked with a tight jaw. "What you said to Bella. Was it all true?"

"Of course," Esme answered quickly.

"So you went to jail?" Edward probed with skepticism. He turned his head to the side but he didn't lift his eyes to Esme's.

"A detention center," Esme reported.

"How long?"

"Almost two years."

"So I was fourteen when you got out."

"Yes."

"And they didn't let you write letters in this detention center?" Edward spat the term out. He still refused to look at Esme.

"I did write," Esme assuaged quickly. "Every day, at first. But I had nowhere to send the letters, Edward. You have to understand, they thought I was a threat to you. They wouldn't tell me where you were."

Edward turned to face his mother then, and his expression was a challenging one.

"They told me I could change my name. On my eighteenth birthday, some lady from the state said I could change my name, but I didn't. I kept it the same so that you or Dad could find me. I thought you'd be looking for me. But you weren't."

"I did look for you, Edward. I searched for you online, in the phonebook; but there was nothing. And I couldn't look for you before you turned eighteen. I knew I'd go jail if I found you, because there was no way I'd be able to stay away. But every year, in June, I struggled not to buy the annuals of all the high schools in the area so that I could search for you. Knowing that they'd take you away from me again was the only thing that kept me from doing it. I couldn't say goodbye to you again. I couldn't do that to you."

"You never said goodbye to me at all," Edward insisted. "All you said was that you'd be back; that you were going to come get me."

Edward rebuked the raw anguish and hurt that was beginning to settle upon his chest. A protectionary anger was his first line of defense and he allowed his voice to rise and his face to harden against Esme's attempts to explain.

But she didn't engage his anger. His harsh words were treated with mildness and his venomous grimaces were met with kind understanding.

For anyone who might have had the opportunity to witness the exchange, Esme and Edward very much looked the part of a patient mother trying to reason with her ill-tempered, irritated and indignant son.

"Edward," Esme spoke his name soothingly as she attempted to smooth down his hair. He recoiled against her touch, but he didn't step away. "I wanted to come for you. You have to know I wanted you with me."

"How would I know that?" his words begged for assurance. "How would I know that, when day after day, night after night, you weren't there?"

"You're a parent now, too. What would you do if someone took Anthony away from you and told you that he was much better off without you? How would you respond to knowing that everything associated with your name said that you were unfit to parent and care for a child?

"Edward, I knew how bright you were; how much you loved to learn. I knew you'd want to play sports and go to college some day – and if I came and got you – stole you away in the middle of the night- you'd never get to do any of those things."

"But I _didn't_ do any of those things!" Edward hollered. "You think anybody cared if I wanted to play baseball or basketball? And to get into college, you need money and good grades, something I didn't have. My evenings were spent learning how to fight so I didn't get the crap beat out of me on a daily basis. Homework wasn't too high on my priority list."

For the first time since their conversation began, Esme lost the reign of control she had on her emotions and her eyes began to water. Edward turned his back on her as his eyes began to do the same.

"Edward, what happened to our family was a tragedy, but it never changed the way I felt about you…the way I _feel_ about you." Esme reached out and touched him on the back.

"Don't," Edward shook her off.

But Esme was relentless and she kept right on, rubbing his back. "I missed you _so much_, Edward."

"I can't," Edward choked out. "I can't do this right now." He walked over to the steel garage door and motioned for Esme to let it up so that he could begin carting the boxes to his car.

With the push of a button, she complied, and the vast door began to creak and groan as it rolled up.

Edward picked up a box in preparation of escaping to his car as soon as he could duck under the door, but two pairs of shoes alerted him to the fact that there was an obstacle in his path.

"Everything okay?" A man in what looked like hospital scrubs asked when he saw the look of distress on Esme's face. There was a large bus idling behind him that said 'Clallam County Transit' on the side.

"We're fine, Eugene. Thanks." Esme stole a frantic look at Edward, but it was already too late.

There was no escape.

Edward was already face-to-face with his father.

"Carlisle, honey, are you hungry?" Esme asked as she checked her watch. "I didn't realize it was time for you to be back."

"It's nearly two," Eugene said as he turned Carlisle over to Esme. "That's the usual time."

"Yes, I guess it is," Esme said nervously. "Carlisle, let's get you inside."

But Carlisle didn't move an inch. He just stared at Edward, expressionlessly; like something was out of place and he was trying to gauge exactly what it was.

Edward felt his chest seize in fear as he waited for the man, who was but a shadow of the father he remembered, to berate and belittle him.

But the tirade never came. Instead, after a few blinkless moments, Carlisle shifted his gaze from Edward over to Esme and he shuffled off after her.

"Don't leave yet. Please, Edward," Esme beseeched over her shoulder as she led Carlisle into the house.

It took a few moments for the shock to wear off, but as soon as Edward was alone, he kicked it into high gear, tossing the cartons into his trunk haphazardly, not caring that something might get broken. He just wanted out of there.

"Edward! Edward, wait!" Esme came running out of the house just as Edward had put the last box in his car and was hustling toward the driver side of his car. But when he looked up, into his mother's eyes, he knew the desperation on her face would haunt him for eternity if he ran out on her now.

He stepped away from his car door slightly to signal that he was waiting to hear her parting words, but the tight grip he kept on his keys communicated that he didn't plan to stay long.

"I'm sorry. I lost track of time. I didn't realize he'd come back while you were still here. I'm really sorry," Esme profusely apologized.

"I know. It's okay," Edward said. He fidgeted nervously before asking. "Did he…did he say anything about me being here?"

"He doesn't speak, Edward. I thought you knew that."

"He spoke last time."

"Yes, well…that was unusual. And he hasn't said a word since. Not even a hint of one."

"Hm," Edward murmured in response. "That must get pretty lonely for you."

"Very," Esme nodded. "Which is why I hope this won't be the last time we talk."

Edward sighed as he looked down at his shoes and leaned against his car. "It's nothing against you," he began. "I just…the way this feels…when I see you or talk to you…it's like I don't know who _I_ am. Does that make sense?"

"Of course," Esme smiled slightly. "You and me, we're the product of lost time."

_Lost time._ Those two words were the perfect summation of every important relationship in Edward's life up until Anthony and Bella entered his life, almost simultaneously; the only two people who made him want to live for every moment and not take another second for granted.

"I have to go," Edward reiterated. "But I'll…we'll talk again."

"After Christmas?" Esme asked eagerly. "You'll let me know how Anthony enjoyed the train?"

Edward's heart sank then, knowing that Esme would be spending Christmas alone in a silent hell. But a promise of a "family" holiday was more than he could handle and so he knew better than to offer it. Instead, he pulled out his wallet and removed the only picture that had ever been housed there: Anthony's kindergarten photo.

He handed it to Esme and she clutched onto it like it was pure gold.

"Oh, Edward," she teared up again. "He looks just like you."

Edward nodded. Though it wasn't much, the picture was the representation of a small bridge between the present time and the past that had been stolen from them. Little by little, picture by picture, Esme would get to see in Anthony the little boy she'd lost in Edward.

He left her, then, on the edge of the sidewalk, watching his taillights as he drove away. His heart felt lighter than he ever thought possible as he rounded the corner and lost sight of the hope that illuminated her eyes. But even though he could no longer see it, he knew it was there, for it was also with him, propelling him toward a better tomorrow – to his son and the woman he would very soon call his wife.

* * *

Thank you to Jjuliebee & thurtysomething - my pre-reading princesses!


	33. Chapter 33 With This Ring

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 33 – With This Ring**

Bella sat cross-legged on her living room floor as she sorted through the lessons she had planned for her class after the Christmas vacation had commenced.

"Anthony, when I say 'winter', what does that make you think of?" she asked, making sure to engage him as she worked.

Anthony, who'd been quietly building a Lego fort, looked up at the question, a pensive expression on his face.

"Snow?" he asked.

"Hmm…what about hats and mittens?" Bella asked as she considered a counting exercise for her kindergartners.

"I don't like mittens. They make my hands feel big," Anthony added.

"Well nobody _likes_ mittens, but they keep our hands warm when it's cold." Bella was fully engaged in what she was outlining, and only half-heard Anthony's response.

However, something Bella had said triggered Anthony's memory, and he launched into a story about a movie he and his father had watched on television the night before – about a funny reindeer with a red nose.

"Uh-hmm," Bella nodded even though she wasn't paying attention.

"But then we turned off the TV because I didn't like the scary part."

"That's good," Bella said as she turned the page she was looking at. "And then what did you do?"

"Nothing," Anthony shrugged. "We just talked about marry."

"Merry? Like merry Christmas?" Bella frowned as she studied the math facts she wanted to teach her students.

Suddenly Anthony cracked up laughing. "You can't marry Christmas!"

"No, not that kind of marry." Bella put down what she'd been working on and looked over at Anthony with a smile. "Merry Christmas. It means happy. In fact, people in other countries say 'Happy Christmas' instead of 'Merry Christmas'."

"So will I get marry at Christmas, too?" Anthony wanted to know.

"You don't _get _merry; you _are_ merry. It's an adjective, which means…" Bella stopped herself when she realized what she was doing. "Wait a minute! We're on a break from school. We're not supposed to do English work while we're on break." She made a silly face at Anthony and tapped the tip of his nose. "Do you want a snack?"

Anthony nodded eagerly. "My dad gave me a special snack for later, but I can have your snack, too."

Just as Bella was about to enter her kitchen, her telephone rang. It was Edward calling from work, pleading with her to do him a favor.

"I ordered a part for my car and a couple Christmas presents and I just found out that all these places are going to be closing today at, like, noon and they won't open back up until after Christmas. Do you think you can help me out and pick up my orders?"

"Sure." Bella rolled her eyes at the way Edward had waited until the last minute to complete his Christmas shopping. "But are they going to let me pick them up for you? They might not."

"Well, I'll call ahead and tell 'em you're coming. The car shop is open, so I'll call them now. I'll call you back or text you to tell you when the other places open," Edward said.

There was an edge to Edward's voice, like he was nervous or anxious. Bella figured that he was worried that she was going to hassle him for asking her to run all over town in the last-minute Christmas rush, and therefore she decided not to give him a hard time.

"I'll get Anthony all bundled up and then we'll go," she promised.

"Okay…Keep your phone on," he added.

Not that he needed to tell Bella to mind her phone. She'd been glued to it ever since she and Edward had officially placed an offer on the house, and even though the offer had been accepted with no problem, Rosalie now called her seemingly every ten minutes to tell her of some new form there was to sign.

"Let's get your shoes and coat, Anthony. We have to go pick up some things for your dad," Bella announced once she'd completed her call to Edward.

Anthony ran to get ready and then waited at the door for Bella to lead him out.

"Well, you're awfully eager today," Bella smiled at him. She was used to ushering Anthony out to the car most mornings, and it was never a simple or timely task.

"My dad told me not to doodle," Anthony said.

"I think you mean dawdle," Bella smiled. "And yeah, let's not do that."

Nonetheless, Bella didn't get to heed her own words because her telephone rang at that moment and thinking it was Edward with last minute information, she answered it.

Unfortunately, it was her mother.

"I was kind of hoping you wouldn't pick up," Renee said. "This was my last attempt at faith in the Christmas miracle. I was hoping you were on your way to Arizona after all."

"Mom," Bella sighed. "I told you I can't come home this Christmas. Remember, I just put an offer on a house. I need this time to do my inspections and sign all the paperwork that seems to be coming in on a daily basis."

"Oh, Bella, it's Christmas. Nobody is working right now. You can do all of that stuff after Christmas," her mother argued.

"People _are_ working right now. Rosalie, my realtor, is working. Edward's working, too."

"And so we come to the real reason of why you won't come home this Christmas."

"Mom, don't start."

"And why shouldn't I? Instead, you want me to sit back and watch you turn your life upside down for a man you haven't even been seeing that long and who is only loosely committed to you."

It was the closest Bella had ever come to hanging up in her mother's face. "I have to go, Mom," she said instead.

And then she hung up.

Bella was still feeling the bitter sting of her mother's words when she stepped out into the blustery, snowy weather. As she drove – below the speed limit in the inclement weather, she thought about how she'd neglected to tell her mother that she and Edward were buying the house _together. _

"How's that for loose commitment?" she whispered to herself.

Yet Bella knew that her mother would think that buying a house with Edward without being married to him was a horrible idea and would signify stupidity instead of devotion. She could almost hear her mother's voice telling her how foolish it was to enter into a financial contract of such magnitude with someone she'd known less than a year.

But regardless of what it looked like on the outside, Bella knew her feelings for Edward were no passing fancy; they were the real deal. Still, it bothered her that she couldn't be open with her mother without dealing with a tongue-lashing of negativity.

The agitation of that thought accompanied Bella inside Peninsula Seals-O-Ring, where she quickly learned that Edward's first errand wasn't going to go as smoothly as she'd hoped.

"Hello, I'm Bella Swan. I'm here to pick up a part for Edward Cullen. He said he called ahead," Bella stated as she held tightly to Anthony's hand. The sound of hydraulic lifts and air compressors were fascinating and terrifying at the same time to a little boy.

"Uh…" the guy behind the counter turned to address a man that was waist deep underneath a car. "Hey! Bobby! That lady's here about the piston ring!"

When Bobby rolled from underneath the car Bella was immediately put off by the used-car-salesman grin he was giving her.

"Bella," he crooned as he got closer. "You're never going to believe what I have for you…" he began.

Bella shifted her weight from foot to foot impatiently. "What's that?"

"Well…I have some good news, and I have some bad news," he feigned an apologetic expression.

"What's the bad news?" Bella asked.

"Oh don't be so negative!" Bobby proclaimed jovially. "Take the good news first!"

"What's the good news?" Bella said unenthusiastically, playing along.

"I have this, just for you." He pulled out a cellophane wrapped rose, like the ones often found at convenient stores or gas stations.

"No thank you," Bella waved the flower out of her face.

"Bella, you're breakin' my heart. Please. Take a flower from an old man, eh?"

Bella rolled her eyes at his persistence, but accepted the rose. "And what's the bad news?" she asked, though she had an inkling.

"I'm not actually gonna have the ring 'til after Christmas. When I double-checked the part against the year and make of your friend's car…it's 'friend', right? Or is that your boyfriend? Fiancé?"

"Boyfriend," Bella said, growing more irritated by the minute.

"Yes, well, when I checked the part again, I saw that it was the wrong one. I'm sorry, love. Like I said, please accept this rose for your troubles."

"It's not any trouble for me, but Edward really needed that part before Christmas, and I'm not sure a rose is going to make him feel any better. You told him it was here," Bella went on.

"I know. It was an honest mistake. But don't you worry. Tell Edward I'll make it worth his while."

Bella felt her skin crawl when Bobby winked at her as she backed away from the counter. She couldn't wait to get out of that shop and call Edward, though she wasn't anxious to give him the bad news. Although he hadn't said, Bella was sure Edward had _really_ needed that part if he was asking her to go through all the trouble of getting it for him.

As she maneuvered through a handful of people on the icy sidewalk, Bella heard a short melodic chorus that she didn't recognize. It was coming from nearby – her purse, to be exact. As she was helping Anthony into the backseat of her truck she heard it again.

'_With this ring…'_ her phone sang.

She pulled out the mobile device and saw that she had two text messages from Edward. He was telling her the destination for the next errand he had for her, but before she completely read it, she phoned him to let him know that she hadn't been successful at the first location he'd sent her to.

"He gave you a free rose for your trouble though," Bella said sarcastically as she glanced over at the lone flower lying on her passenger seat.

"Hopefully he'll give me a price break, too," Edward quipped before setting Bella up for the second destination. "I special ordered a video at Thriftway. The customer service counter opened at ten."

Well at least Edward's second errand was to a place that she needed to go anyway. Bella had promised Anthony they'd bake cookies and she needed to pick up a few ingredients.

"This store is going to be a madhouse," she said as she headed over to the shopping center.

Halfway there, Anthony leaned forward between the seats to offer Bella a small package. "I can't get this open."

Bella took the plastic bag and waited until she was sitting still at a stop sign to attempt to open it.

"Anthony," she said when she got a better look at what she was holding. "You can't eat this. It's pure sugar," she said of the Ring Dings candy.

"My dad said I could have it for a treat," Anthony insisted as he held his hand out for the bag.

"You may have _one_," Bella held out the soft "O" shaped candy. "And if you want more, you can eat them when your dad picks you up." Bella had seen Anthony hyped up on sugar once and she did not want to see it again.

"Aw. I _knew_ you were going to say that." Anthony flung himself against his seat and crossed his arms over his chest in a pout. However, as soon as they arrived at the hustling, bustling shopping center, Anthony forgot that he was supposed to be angry with Bella and easily accepted her hand as she led him into the store.

"Yes, I'm here to pick up a movie," Bella told the associate behind the counter. She was a portly woman with artificially blonde hair, and she looked a little perturbed that Bella had walked up to the counter and begun speaking without being invited. Ironically, her nametag requested she be referred to as 'Joy'.

"What movie?" Joy asked.

"Well, I don't actually know. My boyfriend said he ordered it," Bella said.

"Ordered it?" Joy's face scrunched up in frustration. "Do you mean _reserved_?" Joy pointed at the row of movies that were available for rental.

"I don't know. All he told me was-"

"Name?" Joy cut her off.

"Edward. Edward Cullen," Bella stated.

Joy began banging away on her keyboard as she typed in Edward's name.

"You guys opened late today?" Bella asked. She attempted to get on Joy's good side by making small talk, because for some odd reason, the lady didn't seem to like her at all.

"Nope. We opened at eight, same as always," Joy said, frowning the entire time.

"Oh…I just thought…my boyfriend said you didn't open until ten…" Bella realized there was no point in continuing to speak, so she merely stopped, abruptly.

Just then, another woman stepped out from a backroom. She had a pricing gun in her hand and she looked a little flushed, like she'd been rushing.

"What'cha doin' Joy?" she asked her co-worker.

"Apparently we order movies now?" Joy asked sarcastically.

Instead of respond, the woman, whose nametag read 'Fiona', looked over at Bella and smiled. "You're here for Edward?"

"Yes," Bella smiled back, relieved to actually speak to someone who _belonged_ behind a customer service counter.

Fiona seemed a little overly excited when she stepped up to speak with Bella. "That movie Edward wanted, The Ring, has been really hard for us to get…"

"What?" Joy broke in. "We have it right here for rent-"

"He wants a new copy," Fiona spoke rapidly.

"Well why doesn't he just go online-"

"Joy!" Fiona turned sharply to her co-worker. "There's some battery packs in the back that need to be stocked. Can you finish that up and I'll take over here?"

Joy seemed fine with the idea of turning Bella over to Fiona as she stalked off to the back room to start the new task.

"I'm sorry. Did you say your name was Bella?" Fiona asked sweetly.

"I didn't, but yes, I'm Bella," she said skeptically.

"Oh…because Edward said you were picking up his movie…" Fiona leaned against the counter as if she was struggling with her next words. "Which, unfortunately, Joy was right about. We don't have it."

Bella stared blankly at Fiona for a few beats. "You don't have it?" she echoed.

Fiona nodded. "I tried to call Edward to let him know not to bother coming down here, but I couldn't get a hold of him at the number he left on the order form."

"Order form?" Bella questioned. "Edward filled out an _order form_ for that old movie?" Something definitely seemed fishy. Bella could not imagine Edward going through the trouble of ordering a movie he could most likely find at the thrift store, let alone completing a form to do it.

Fiona scrambled around beneath the counter before surfacing with a pale colored envelope. "I'm sorry you came all the way down here. Please accept this as an apology…" she stopped speaking when Bella reached across the counter for the envelope and opened it.

"This is a fifty-dollar gift certificate," Bella stated incredulously.

"For the Creekside Restaurant. I hear it's really beautiful if you go at sunset. Of course it is pretty cold right now-"

"Okay, what's going on?" Bella put the envelope back on the counter. "The first place didn't have what Edward needed and so they gave me this cheap, plastic wrapped rose and now you're telling me that because you don't have a movie that I could probably go across the street and rent for a dollar, you're going to give me a fifty-dollar gift certificate?"

Fiona suppressed a smile as she listened to Bella's interrogation. Finally, she shrugged as she pushed the envelope back toward Bella. "I don't know what it's all about myself, but the manager said to give you this as a show of customer service since we told Edward we had his order when we really didn't." Fiona looked side to side and then leaned forward, "And our manager is married to the head chef at Creekside, so we give these certificates out all the time."

Bella sighed as she stuffed the envelope in her purse. Either she was really tired and distracted, or something really weird was going on.

"I'm tired," Anthony announced, as if reading her mind.

"I'm tired of going all over town for nothing," Bella complained back to him. "But we're going to go home soon and make cookies. How does that sound?"

"Yay!" Anthony celebrated. He happily accompanied Bella through the aisles of the store as she picked up the ingredients they needed for their baking session before heading off toward their last errand of the day.

Just as she completed her purchase at the register, Bella's phone began an odd tune and she answered it quickly, wondering what had happened to her original ringtone.

"Edward, I don't know what kind of Christmas presents you have in mind, but that movie, The Ring, is really old and I'm sure you can find it without ordering it from the grocery store. Their movies are too expensive, anyway," she told him when he called to give her the address of the last place he needed her to go.

"It's sentimental," Edward said. "Anyway, the last place I need you to go for me is that toy store on Elm."

"There's a toy store on Elm?"

"Yep. Right between the dry cleaners and the jewelry store."

"Well, I hope they have whatever it is you want, because I haven't had any luck so far," Bella said. "What am I picking up this time, anyway?"

"Rock'em Sock'em Robots."

Bella laughed. "I remember those!" then she noticed Anthony watching her. "Shall I…try to hide them?"

"Nah. Anthony has no idea what they even are. He won't have a clue," Edward said.

So Bella hastened to run the last errand for Edward, optimistic that things would finally go as planned.

Unfortunately, she was incorrect.

"Here you go. It's my last one," said the man behind the counter at the vintage toy shop. He stood back and watched Bella as she eyed the box.

"I've never actually seen one of these close up before. I've only seen the commercials," she said as she stared at the vibrantly colored box.

The man then took it upon himself to remove the toys from the box to show Bella what they were like in person. He set up the first blue plastic robot and then the red one. Then he frowned as he stared down inside the box.

"There's no ring in here," he announced.

"No what?" Bella questioned.

"The ring. See, you set the robots up in this ring," he pointed at the box, "and then press the levers and they punch each other. Without the ring, it doesn't work." He put the robots back inside the box and taped it shut. "Well that explains why it was way back in the back room."

"So what does this mean? You're not going to let me have it? Didn't Edward already pay for it?" Bella asked, awestruck at how horrible her luck – or Edward's – had been.

"I'll give _him_ a full refund," the man answered, clearly telling Bella that he'd only enter into a financial contract with Edward.

"Wait…but…do you mean…" Bella stammered as she looked down at Anthony, whom she assumed was to be the recipient of toy. "It's almost Christmas."

"I don't sell incomplete packages. Store policy," the man said as he pointed up at a sign that said the same thing.

Bella was just about to lose her cool and let this guy know that it was _his_ problem, not hers, that he didn't have all the pieces to an item he'd sold a customer and that he'd better fix it and make it right; but her phone started chiming that unfamiliar and annoying tone just then and she knew it was a text message from Edward.

_How's it going?_

_Not good. Doesn't have all the parts._

Instantly her phone lit up with a soft soulful song that Bella knew she hadn't placed as her ringtone. She stood there staring and listening to it until she realized it was about to miss an incoming call.

"Hello?"

"Hey. What's going on?" Edward asked.

"Did you change the ringtone on my phone?"

"Yeah. It's _With this Ring_. Like it?"

"Why'd you change it?"

"Do you hate it?"

"I don't hate it, I just didn't recognize it. Who knows how many calls I've missed today," Bella told him in annoyance.

"I only changed it for my number. Any other calls would still be your old ringtone," Edward said.

"Oh," Bella said, calming down only a little. "Well this guy," she paused to scowl at the man behind the counter, "says he can't give you the robots because he doesn't have the ring."

"That's because I have it," Edward said.

Bella rolled her eyes and moved her phone partway from her mouth as she addressed the toy store clerk once again. "He says he already has the ring," she indicated toward the phone.

"Not this ring," the man said, his face set in a disinterested glower.

Suddenly Bella heard Edward laughing on the other end of the phone.

"Edward, what's going on?"

"Bella…come outside."

As soon as he said that, Bella looked toward the glass door of the toy store and out at the grayish hue of the day. The rain had turned to a soft mist, the precursor to an afternoon snow. Yet the cloudy sky was no match for the fog of confusion that muddled her brain as she turned her attention back to the man behind the counter only to see his back as he retreated to the store room with the Rock'em Sock'em Robots tucked underneath his arm.

Anthony, who'd been busily picking through a bin of toys near the front counter, now had his eyes trained on the door as well.

"I think my dad is out there!" he called before he took off running toward the door.

"Anthony!" Bella bellowed after him. She tried to prevent him from darting out of the door without her, but he was too quick. In no time at all, he'd pushed open the door and dashed out into the freezing weather on the other side.

Luckily, Edward was standing in the middle of the sidewalk.

"Anthony, honey, you can't run away from me like that," Bella said, out of breath.

Anthony merely pointed at his father, as if the fact that he was standing next to him made everything alright.

"Edward?" Bella looked at him, befuddled by his presence. "What are you doing here?"

"It sounded like you were having a hard time," he stated.

There was a hint of humor in Edward's eyes that Bella didn't understand. "You got off early?"

"Yeah."

"But _you_ couldn't go to all these places to get your stuff?"

"I didn't know what time I'd be able to get here," he answered nonchalantly.

"Oh. Well…do you want to go inside and tell that guy to give you your robots?" Bella thumbed behind her toward the toy store.

"Nah," Edward shook his head. The slight smile he wore did nothing but irritate Bella.

"No?" she mimicked him. "Excuse me, but I've been running all over town for nothing and not two seconds ago I was in that store picking up _your _order, which the guy wouldn't give to me, and now you're here and…Edward? Edward, what are you doing?"

Bella watched as Edward kneeled down and placed one knee on the cold, hard, sidewalk.

"What were you supposed to get for me at Peninsula?" Edward asked as he fidgeted with his jacket pockets.

"I don't know. Some kind of piston?" Bella whispered as she kept her eyes on Edward's hands.

"A piston _ring," _Edward smiled. "But they didn't have it."

"No they didn't," Bella said, her mind rushing to make sense of what was going on.

"And what was the movie?" Edward asked.

"The Ring," Bella smiled, beginning to see a correlation.

"But they didn't have it," Edward stated.

"Nope," Bella reiterated softly.

"And the Rock'em Sock'em Robots were missing their…"

"Ring," Bella sighed, confused but wondering.

Edward opened the palm of his hand then to reveal a simple, sparkling diamond and gold ring. "Because I've had it all along."

"Oh, Edward," Bella laughed, despite her tear-filled eyes.

Passersby on the street began to take notice of what was happening and many stopped or slowed down to see the conclusion of the moment.

Anthony, too, was carefully trying to discern what was going on. His father looked happy, and though Bella was smiling, she was also crying, so he couldn't be sure. Not fully knowing what to do, he did what he always did when he was with his father and slightly unsure – he imitated him.

With little to no flourish, Anthony, tightly bundled up in his winter coat, wobbled down on his jean-clad knee next to his father and looked up at Bella with the expectancy his father seemed to have.

When a few people in the crowd began to chuckle, Edward turned and took note of what Anthony was doing.

"Oh, no, buddy, stand up. You're not supposed to-"

"No, it's okay," Bella stopped Edward from moving his son. "It's kind of perfect," she sniffed. "Since I get you both."

"Then that's a yes?" Edward smiled at her.

"Look at you; still trying to get an answer without asking the question."

Edward laughed and then reached up and took Bella's left hand. "Bella, I love you." Edward cleared his throat and then paused as if gearing up for a long speech. But when he looked up, and their eyes met, Bella saw the vulnerable way he gazed at her as he asked, slightly above a whisper, "Will you marry me?"

"Yes!" Bella tossed her head back and exclaimed loud enough for everyone around to know what her answer was. She squinted through her tears as Edward stood to his full height before sliding the ring on her finger.

"Sorry. I couldn't wait until Christmas," he stated faintly as he leaned in for a kiss.

"I'm glad you didn't," she returned in the moments before their lips met.

Though they appreciated the congratulatory calls and cheers for good fortune, Bella and Edward tuned in only to one another, and Anthony, as they headed back to Bella's truck with the imminent thoughts of their united future fresh on their minds.

"So…everything you had me do today…you planned all that?" Bella asked Edward in disbelief.

"Yep," Edward smiled smugly.

"All those people were in on it? The rose and the dinner…"

"Didn't you recognize the rose? It was just like the first one I ever got you," Edward said. "And since we went out to dinner on our first date…I dunno…it seemed like a good idea."

"I didn't know you had it in you," Bella said. "You really are full of surprises, you know that?"

"I might have had a little help from The Wedding Channel," Edward admitted. "Was it cheesy?"

"Yes," Bella chuckled as she nodded. "But I wouldn't have wanted it any other way."

They trailed Anthony hand-in-hand as he picked up balls of slush and tossed them into the bushes. Bella wondered what kind of questions Anthony would have about the upcoming changes in his life and she knew that soon there would have to be a conversation about what those changes would mean.

Little did she know, Edward had already taken care of that.

"Did my dad give you marry for Christmas?" Anthony asked Bella as she opened his car door.

Finally realizing what he'd actually been talking about all those hours earlier, Bella let out a jovial laugh before picking up Anthony and hugging him tightly against her chest. "Yes; yes he did. He gave me _marry_ for Christmas."


	34. Chapter 34 Please Come Home for Christma

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 34 – Please Come Home for Christmas**

Edward sat on the floor, eyelevel with the train table he'd set up in the corner of the dining area for Anthony.

"He's going to love that," Bella said as she softly came up behind Edward and watched the toy engine lead several train cars along the course of tracks.

"Yeah," Edward said absentmindedly. It was hard to look at the toy that used to be his and not remember the smell of cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning, or his father instructing Edward how to slow the train down when it came off the bridge, or his sister, standing in the background tooting a wooden train whistle in an effort to be included.

Bella rubbed Edward's shoulders gently before backing up toward the front door. "Well…it looks like you're all set. Take lots of pictures and I'll come by later in the morning."

It was just after midnight and they'd finished putting out all the presents from Santa and filling Anthony's Christmas stocking. Actually, Bella had done that while Edward set up the train and the small community of pieces that came with it. It took him a lot longer than the hour Esme had said it had taken her.

Edward was still mainly focused on the train when Bella had begun speaking so he only caught the tail end of her sentence.

"What are you talking about? You're not staying?"

"Well, since it's your first Christmas with Anthony, I thought maybe you might want it to be just the two of you on Christmas morning. You know…" she shrugged.

But Edward didn't agree. "Why would I want that?" he frowned. "Christmas is supposed to be spent with those you love and adore, right?" Edward stood up and put his arms around Bella's waist. "And we love _and _adore you."

"I just don't want to be in the way." Bella kissed him gingerly as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "If you ever feel like you need time, just you and Anthony, don't hesitate to let me know."

"Bella," Edward smiled down at her. "Yesterday you basically agreed to spend the rest of your life with me. You're not trying to back out now, are you?" he teased.

Bella chuckled. "Of course not."

"Good," Edward said, now completely serious. "Because I meant what I said during dinner. I'm ready to start the rest of my life with you _right now_. I don't want to wait until June."

Bella's reaction revealed that she was both shocked and awestruck by what Edward had just said. Did his words mean he wanted to forego a wedding and get married a la Jasper and Alice style? Or did he want to move up the wedding date?

"No wedding?" she squeaked.

"I want a wedding," Edward assured her. "I just don't want to wait until the wedding to start acting like a family. Like you thinking we need to have Christmas without you. None of that _BS_."

"Well in that case," Bella smiled wickedly at him, "I'm gonna go upstairs and get ready for bed."

"Alright. I'll be right up," Edward said.

He stared down at the train a few minutes more and allowed his thoughts to roam back to his family. In doing so, he couldn't help but wonder about the state of Esme's Christmas, knowing that she was alone in that prison of silence with a fraction of the man that she had married.

"For better or for worse," Edward muttered to himself. For a split second he entertained the thought of what it might be like if he and Bella suffered a travesty that changed one of them in such an inconceivable way. But the thought scared him and he immediately put it out of his mind. He glanced over at the clock that reiterated the late hour and named his fatigue as the cause of the undesirable thoughts his mind was conjuring up.

As he ascended the stairs to his bedroom, he rubbed at his tired eyes and yearned for his soft bed and plump pillows. The secrecy and sneaking around required to keep the dream of Santa alive for Anthony was exhausting and all Edward wanted to do was drop down on his bed and sleep until the very last second a very excited five-year-old little boy would allow him to on Christmas morning.

The bedroom was dark when Edward walked in, save for the light seeping from underneath the closed master bathroom door. He disrobed down to his underwear and crawled into bed, only partly aware that whatever Bella was doing in the bathroom was taking her a long time. Edward was sure he would fall asleep before she emerged.

Actually, he was sure he _had _fallen asleep, because when Bella opened the door he was positive that he was staring at a vision straight out of one of his fantasies.

"Since it's after midnight, this doesn't technically qualify as giving you your present early," she said with a coquettish pout on her lips.

Edward sat up quickly and rubbed his eyes again, but this time, it wasn't because he was tired.

Bella was standing before him in what was probably classified as a bra, but hardly qualified as one. Her breasts were outlined in red satin strips but bare in the middle except for two delicate bows that covered her nipples.

And then she turned around…

"Is my bow straight?" she asked.

"Uh...uh…" Edward didn't even know his own name as he stared at Bella's smooth, naked ass – perfectly accentuated by a loosely tied red ribbon.

"When I asked, you _did_ say that all you wanted for Christmas was me," Bella smiled as she slowly progressed up Edward's body.

"That I did," he agreed as he watched the movement of her breasts as she crawled. He inspected his present up close and palmed Bella's ass as she leaned over him and toyed with his cock through his boxers.

Her touch was light as she reached inside the fabric's opening and traced the rim of his head with her index finger. Through eyes heavily lidded with desire, he looked on as she undressed him; her mouth teasingly near his cock and her hot breath brushing against him. Impatience for her touch caused him to put his hand through her hair as he attempted to guide himself into her mouth, but she evaded him, insisting on pleasuring him at her own pace.

He watched as she rubbed her hands all over him, and handled him in creative ways: massaging him with the tip of her nose, stroking him against the smoothness of her cheek, feathering her eyelashes over his shaft.

Finally, she opened her mouth to him, and steady, flirtatious eyes focused on his as she slid him toward the back of her throat.

"Damn…" Edward whispered as he closed his eyes for a second, momentarily overcome by the sensation. But then his eyes were open again, watching Bella aggressively suck him to within inches of an orgasm. He wanted the feelings to go on forever, but he knew he wouldn't last much longer if he continued to succumb to the visual stimulation as well. He reached for Bella's hips and pulled her toward him, prompting her to straddle his face. When she did so, he pushed her g-string aside and saw that she had another surprise for him as well.

"Sexy," Edward said as he ran his finger over the manicured landing strip between her thighs. He then tugged at her newly shorn lips with his teeth before sliding his tongue between them. The moan this elicited from Bella invigorated Edward and he pulled her flush to his face and mercilessly assaulted her sex with his mouth.

Unexpectedly, Bella shifted her movements and Edward felt the tip of his cock sliding against slick, warm wetness. A vacuum like suction pummeled his shaft on both sides and a caressing pinch lightly pelted him at his base. Usually, Edward wasn't considered an incredibly vocal lover, but the overload of sensual pleasure reduced him to a series of appreciative grunts and groans.

When Bella's hips began to rotate and dip, mimicking the dance of copulation, Edward knew her end was near and he physically let down his guard and allowed his body to climb to its peak as well. He could feel Bella's soft hands on him, rubbing the underside of his thighs and moving in to cup his sack before lightly pressing against his perineum. It felt like heaven and Edward felt the vivacious tingling that signaled the onset of his orgasm. And then, just as he was _right there_, he felt a direct pressure on his ass before the sensation of internal stimulation catapulted him into the most intense climax he'd ever had in his life.

"FUCK!" he screamed as he blew his load down Bella's throat. "Oh my…_shit_…" he panted as he fell back against his pillow and willed his body to stop twitching. "What the hell was _that_?" he asked Bella when she climbed off him and walked toward the bathroom to situate herself.

"You didn't like it?" She tossed a cautious glance in his direction?

"Well…I…I just…I don't know…" Edward stammered, not quite comfortable admitting that he rather liked the ass play.

After Bella returned from the bathroom, dressed more appropriately for sleeping in one of Edward's old t-shirts, Edward went in to complete his bedtime ritual of washing his face and brushing his teeth. When he lay down in bed, he noticed Bella was peeking up at him from beneath a curtain of her hair.

"Sorry. I won't do it again," she promised him quietly.

Edward knew exactly what she was talking about, but he wasn't up for discussing it right then. "Don't worry about it," he said nonchalantly before kissing her lightly on the forehead. "Goodnight." He rolled over and positioned himself for sleep.

"Babe," Bella lightly touched his hip. "You mad at me?"

"No," Edward said, his back still to her. "I'm just tired," he said, hoping she'd take the hint. "And Anthony is probably going to be up at the crack of dawn tomorrow."

"Okay," Bella agreed, not pressing the issue any further. She snuggled up to Edward's back and slept close to him throughout the night.

And Anthony _was_ up at the crack of dawn.

"Dad! Dad! Santa came!" Anthony yelled excitedly as he knocked repeatedly on Edward's bedroom door. "I need to come in, Dad! I need to show you something!"

It was unclear how many requests Anthony had to make for his father's presence before his cries were actually heard, but when Edward finally opened his door the excitement exuding from Anthony was palpable.

"Merry Christmas, buddy," Edward said as he pulled on a pair of pants and followed Anthony down the stairs and away from a scantily clad Bella, who was hiding discreetly underneath the blankets until Anthony was gone.

Fortunately, Anthony's overflowing Christmas stocking caught his attention before anything else, and Bella was able to make it downstairs with her camera in hand, to capture Anthony's face when he saw his father and Esme's gift.

Edward waited patiently as Anthony surveyed the bounty of presents underneath the tree. Honestly, it was like people came out of the woodwork to give Anthony a gift. Coworkers who'd heard that Edward was having his first Christmas with his son stopped by his workstation to offer little toy cars, stockings filled with candy, fleece scarves and hats, mittens, stuffed animals and the like.

Emmett and Rosalie, with no one to buy for during the holiday, loaded Anthony up with four gifts, and though the status of their relationship was unknown, Edward couldn't help but notice a theme to the gifts, signaling that they were most likely purchased as a set.

Jasper, now a willing and jubilant passenger aboard the baby train, was hooked on toys and videos that claimed to be of extreme educational value. And judging by the skill level required to figure out the wooden puzzle that Jasper and Alice had gifted, Edward was sure MENSA would extend Anthony a personal invitation to their organization if he was able to solve it.

"Do you like all your presents, Anthony?" Bella asked from her place near the train table. She focused the camera on Anthony's face to catch his reaction, and when he turned to respond to her, that's when he saw what his father had spent hours building the night before.

There was a moment of silent awe as Anthony stared slack jawed at the many buildings, bridges and tunnels that accessorized the hobby-scale sized train.

"Wow!" Anthony exclaimed as he ran over to the table. "Dad! Lookit!"

Edward smiled at his son's exuberance as he walked over to the train table and flipped a switch. Suddenly, the train came to life as whistles and lights hooted and glowed. Edward kneeled down near the table and Anthony immediately took up residence on his bended knee, and together they pointed and prodded at the toy like two little boys who'd gotten just what they wanted on a blessed Christmas morning.

And Bella was able to capture the entire thing on video.

Not much could compete with the train, but Edward was able to coax Anthony into taking a break long enough to open his other presents, and to partake of the special Christmas breakfast Bella had prepared for him: snowman pancakes. Yet, as soon as he'd eaten his fill, Anthony was right back at his train and Bella and Edward took the opportunity to snuggle up together on the couch.

"Well," Bella sighed as she held up her left hand to look upon her ring, "there's no time like the present."

"For?" Edward asked lazily.

"I have to call my parents and tell them about my Christmas surprise," Bella smiled.

Edward reached for Bella's ring-clad hand and held it briefly. "Do you really like your ring? Because if you don't, we could get something else," he suggested. He had put a lot of time and effort into finding the perfect ring for Bella, and by perfect, he meant one that was worthy to be worn by her _and_ still fit into his budget. The jeweler at the store had tried relentlessly to get him to purchase a ring that was extremely out of his price range by offering him exceptionally creative finance options and appealing to his desire to please Bella.

Edward had almost fallen for it, but at the last second he realized how important buying the house was to Bella and that if anything were to happen to him, she'd be saddled with the cost of the house on top of the ridiculously expensive ring, which Bella wasn't the type of person to need anyway.

In the end, Edward had decided on a mid-priced ring and had paid half cash, half credit. He reasoned that he needed to establish credit for the loan on the home anyway, and since it was less than one thousand dollars that he'd charged, he was confident that he could pay it off without Bella ever realizing a burden.

"Edward," Bella frowned up at him. Apparently she didn't appreciate his offer to change out her ring. "I love my ring. I couldn't have chosen better for myself." She intertwined her fingers with his. "Besides, it's not the ring that's important, it's what it represents."

"True," Edward smiled as he leaned over and kissed Bella on the lips.

"And just remember how much you want to marry me, because once you realize who your mother-in-law is going to be, you might change your mind," Bella made a face.

"I've met your mother. I know what I'm in for," Edward treaded lightly between an insult and the truth.

All joking aside, Edward was slightly saddened at the sight of Bella as she greeted her parents and wished them a happy holiday. She was so animated and cheery as she popped the news to her parents about the upcoming nuptials. Each time she looked over at Edward, he'd smile in return, when really, he was dampened a bit at the realization that he had no family to call and rejoice with.

That feeling led to thoughts about what the groom's side would look like at the wedding. Since their mutual friends and Anthony would most likely be _in _the wedding, that left no one to sit on Edward's side except for a few acquaintances from work. It would just be one more reminder, and one more sign to Bella, of just how much more she had and how little he was bringing to their shared life.

As soon as that thought materialized, Edward remembered what Bella had said to him that day in Alice and Jasper's garage. How she'd told him she loved him and listed off all the things she admired about him and he used that positive memory to suppress the negative thoughts that were looping through his mind.

"Uh…Mom? I'll have to call you back later…yeah…right…uh-huh…tell Daddy I love him…right…of course, of course…Mom, the wedding isn't until June. We'll have plenty of time to discuss details. Okay…okay I have to go now."

Edward looked up to see Bella watching him with concerned eyes and when she finally ended the call with her mother, she resumed her seat next to him and rested her head on his shoulder.

"What's wrong?" she asked him.

"Nothing," Edward shrugged.

"Really? Because you look like someone just stole your last cookie or something," Bella told him.

"Nah. I was just thinking, that's all."

"What about?"

"Just…family…Christmas…that kind of thing," he deflected. "Do you think this is going to be enough for him?" he gestured toward Anthony. "Years from now, will he remember this?"

"I think so," Bella said encouragingly. "You remembered getting that train when you were his age, right?"

"Yeah," Edward allowed the memory to repeat for a few seconds.

"That's probably why your mother wanted him to have it. She knew how much it meant to you and how much it would probably mean to pass something like that down to Anthony."

The uncomfortable feeling Edward had had earlier when thinking of the lackluster holiday Esme was most likely enduring returned at Bella's words.

She noticed, again, the change in his expression. "Do you think you might want to call her or maybe pay her a-"

"I'm gonna go see what Anthony's up to," Edward cut Bella off. He'd considered the notion of a Christmas sentiment for Esme – be it a card or a phone call, but he couldn't quite bring himself to do it. Even merely thinking about it caused his chest to constrict in anxiety.

His little disappearing act was enough of a hint for Bella to let the subject drop, and she didn't seem too put out by his antics of avoidance as she moved to the kitchen to begin preparing Christmas dinner.

When Anthony proved to be just fine on his own with the train, Edward returned to the couch and let the hum of the morning's activities lull him into the blissful peace of a late morning nap. However, just as he was about to drift off into dreamland, he received a telephone call from Emmett.

"Hey man, is your power out? Ours has been out for a while," Emmett said.

"Ours?" Edward asked. Last he'd heard, Emmett had been staying with Jasper and Alice, and if that was the case, Edward found it strange that Emmett would be calling instead of Jasper.

"Uh…" Emmett stammered. "Well…I was just hanging out here with Rose…so your power isn't out?"

"Nope," Edward said. There was a brief pause until Edward realized his friend wanted something. "You guys wanna come over here or something?"

"Is that cool? Me and Rose?" Emmett asked.

"Yeah, sure," Edward shrugged. He didn't even need to hear Bella's reaction to know that she would be pleased to have more company for dinner.

"There's plenty of food," Bella said, as Edward knew she would. However, her foray into the cabinets for additional tableware was unsuccessful. "I should run home and get my dishes, Edward. You only have three plates."

She was still gone when Rosalie and Emmett arrived, and in the fashion of most guys when they visit one another, Emmett and Edward headed straight to the garage while Rosalie allowed Anthony to barrage her with his new toys.

"Wow, look at all this stuff," Emmett whistled when he stepped onto one of the few clear areas of Edward's garage. "All this was in Anthony's old room?"

"Most of it," Edward said. "As soon as escrow clears on the house, we're going to start moving some of this crap over there."

"So, how's that gonna work? Are you gonna break your lease here, or hang out…" Emmett inquired.

"We talked about it, and I guess I'm going to stay here until my lease is up in June, and she's going to move into the house," Edward said.

"And you're getting married in June? That's a lot of extra money going out, man," Emmett hinted.

"I guess." Edward said.

"If you wanted…I mean…I don't know if you even want to, but if you were thinking of moving in earlier with Bella, I might be interested in taking your lease over here," Emmett offered.

"Really?" Edward hadn't even considered getting someone to make his payments so that he didn't have to.

"Yeah. I've got to do something. Alice hasn't said it, but she's about ready for me to stop crashin' at their place. Besides, she's got baby on the brain. She and Jasper both. It's driving me crazy," Emmett said.

"So, are you and Rosalie movin' back in together or what?" Edward asked.

His question was met with a hard stare from Emmett, as if he was trying to determine the motivation for Edward's question simply by looking at him.

"Thinkin' about it," he finally said. His demeanor was defensive and immediately Edward could see that his friend thought he was judging him.

"That's cool. Makes things easier," Edward simply said.

"Yeah," Emmett relaxed a bit. "It does. Plus…I dunno…she seems to have gotten all that high society shit outta her system. She went out there, tried and failed on her own. She knows she can't blame me for holding her back."

"That's true," Edward acknowledged. He'd learned the hard way not to make incriminating comments about his friends' girlfriends. He stuck with the stance that it was just better not to say much at all.

"So, yeah…things are good between us. I'm not like, gonna ask her to move in with me, but, you know…if she wants to stay over some nights…I'm cool with that," Emmett continued.

Edward grinned at the comment, because what guy _wouldn't_ be cool with his bombshell of a girlfriend staying the night with him?

Emmett noticed Edward's smirk and couldn't help smiling as well, knowing his friend was on to him. "Yeah…things are _really good_ between us."

"I can see why you need your own place."

"Exactly."

Edward fiddled with a pair of pliers that actually belonged to Jasper as he considered asking Emmett a rather personal question.

"So-" Emmett began.

"Hey, Em-" Edward spoke over him.

The friends paused, each granting the other a voice.

"What were you going to say?" Edward asked.

"It's not important. Go ahead." It was obvious that Edward had something he wanted to ask Emmett, and it was painting a cloud of tension over them as they each waited for him to just get on with it.

"Uh…I was just wondering," Edward fleetingly glanced at Emmett and then looked away. "Does Rosalie ever ask you to do things…in bed…that you think are…weird?"

Emmett laughed. "Is this about eatin' pussy again? Man, I thought you were over that."

"No, it's not about that."

"Oh. Well…Rose is pretty much up for anything, but, then again, so am I, so no. I don't think she's ever asked me…oh, wait a minute!" Emmett snapped his fingers. "There was this time that she wanted to do it during the playoff game. But I think she was just trying to make a point in saying that I ignore her when the game's on."

Now it was Edward's turn to return Emmett's blank stare. He silently berated himself for trying to have a serious conversation with Emmett. That endeavor rarely went well.

"Why? Bella wanted something freaky?" Emmett asked. "It's always the quiet ones," he mused.

"No. She didn't. It wasn't like that. It just…"

"Well what then? She wanted you to suck her toes? Fuck her in the ass? Give her a rim job?"

"What?" Edward asked incredulously.

"What?" Emmett parroted.

"What's a rim job?"

"You've never had a girl drop down, while she's giving you head, and lick your ass, man?" Emmett asked.

"Uh…no?"

"Well, anyway, that's a rim job."

"Oh." Edward sidelined a glance at Emmett. "Well what is it called when she uses her finger instead of her tongue?"

"Fuckin' awesome, that's what it's called!" Emmett nearly shouted.

"You, uh, you don't think it's weird…to have someone do that to you?" Edward asked bashfully.

"Well keep it in context, man. I sure as hell wouldn't let _you_ do it," Emmett looked at Edward oddly. "But my girl? Yeah, that shit is alright."

As soon as Edward had gained Emmett's perspective, and a little bit of clarity for himself, he was too embarrassed to further the conversation anymore and quickly steered the topic onto sports, which he barely followed – not that that mattered. Once the subject of sports came up Emmett did most of the talking anyway. They stood in the chilly garage a few minutes more until Edward heard the sound of Bella's truck pulling into his driveway.

"Everything okay? You were gone awhile," he said when he went out to help her carry in the dishes.

"Well, since I was home, I took a shower, changed my clothes…that kind of stuff," Bella said.

Edward made a show of looking her up and down. "You look great, baby." And then he leaned in and gave her a lingering kiss that was quite torrid for their casual encounter.

"Whoa," Bella tried to catch her breath once they broke apart. "What was _that_ for?"

"Do I have to have a reason?" Edward asked smugly as he led the way back into his house.

"Well…no. I guess you don't," Bella agreed.

But throughout the rest of the afternoon, Edward's attentive touches, loving glances and considerate compliments supplemented his kiss and communicated rather clearly what he definitely wanted Bella to know_: I'm alright_; _we're alright; I love you._

'*'

Even though Bella had sent two meals worth of leftovers home with Emmett and Rosalie, there was still quite a bit remaining as she spooned stuffing, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, corn and ham into their respective containers.

"It's hard to make Christmas dinner for only a few people," she explained when she saw Edward eyeing the family-sized can of green beans she'd tossed in the garbage can.

"I'd say you made a bit more than enough for a _few_ people," Edward said.

Bella looked over at him and he caught her slight smile before she turned away from him. He could tell that she had something on her mind that she wasn't saying. Instead, she told him that he and Anthony would have a few days worth of dinners and lunches as well.

"Edward," she spoke slowly as she placed an unnecessary amount of attention on washing her hands in the kitchen sink. "Do you think you'd mind if…"

"If?"

"If I put together a little plate for Esme?"

"I'm sure she had her own Christmas dinner, Bella."

"Yeah, you're probably right," she paused, " but what about dessert then? She might like some of the berry cobbler, right?"

"Why is this such a big deal to you?" Edward asked as he fiddled with the buttons on his shirt.

"It's not," Bella said quickly. "I just thought…you know, since it's Christmas and you wanted to make things special for Anthony…It is his grandmother, after all."

"He doesn't know that."

"You're right," Bella shrugged off her comment. "Forget I said anything about it."

However, Bella's comments did serve to remind Edward of another grandparent Anthony needed to interact with.

"I need to let Anthony call his grandfather."

"Oh, he'll love that," Bella agreed.

Not only did Anthony love it, but so did his grandfather, David. The staff at the senior home even thanked Edward for remembering to call, stating that the holidays were such a lonely time for their residents and it had really brightened David's day to hear Anthony's voice.

For a brief moment, Edward felt satisfied with the holiday. He'd spent time with friends and loved ones, made memories for Anthony and managed to avoid any unnecessary drama. He was about to write the day off as a smashing success when his eyes landed upon a small helping of berry cobbler that was packaged and sitting off to the side by itself.

Edward wasn't sure if it was Bella's way of restating what she thought he should do, or if it was merely a coincidence, but that lone piece of dessert flooded his mind with memories that he'd thought had long faded.

It made him think of how sweet his house used to smell on Christmas morning, and how his mother always pretended not to know that he'd gone back for second and sometimes third helpings of the Christmas cinnamon rolls.

It made him think of the holly bushes with the bright red berries right outside the window in his father's study, where he used to hide for hours and look at the pop-up books Carlisle had collected.

It made him think of the way his mother always asked him, right before lights out, if he'd had a nice Christmas, and then she'd pull a small box out from behind her back and say, "Santa forgot one". It was always something small, edible, and wrapped in a package with a bright red bow. His mother always let him eat whatever it was right then and there, and he didn't even have to brush his teeth afterward. She'd simply let him have his way, and then shut off the light, knowing that at the sun's next rising, it would be back to business as usual, where all the rules again applied and the memories made on Christmas day would be dulled or forgotten.

Edward sighed and placed his hand on the small container housing the cobbler. And this time, when the hollow anxious feeling in his chest returned, he recognized it for what it was; not a defense mechanism to ward off future hurt, but a longing to move forward, to let go of the anger and to finally heal.

Yet it still took until the clouds had been darkened to an evening hue before Edward approached Bella with the cobbler in hand and vaguely asked, "Feel like taking a ride?"

She looked up at him skeptically, but when her eyes landed on the package in his hand, they softened and she smiled. "I'll drive."

It was cold and windy, but fortunately not raining when Bella maneuvered her truck along the edge of the yard at Edward's parents' home. The porch was dark but there was a shadow of movement from the illuminated kitchen beyond it.

"Dad?" Anthony piped up from the backseat.

One look at his wide eyes and Edward knew that Anthony remembered the scary man that appeared the last time he had visited. Truth be told, Edward was remembering that scary man at that very moment as well.

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea," Edward told Bella just as the porch light flicked on and Esme opened the front door and peered out.

"She knows you're here now. You can't be rude," Bella said as she leaned down and waved.

Edward exhaled a gusty breath and motioned to open the passenger side door.

"Wait, this is for her," Bella grabbed his arm and quickly set a shiny compact disc on top of the dish of cobbler.

"What's this?"

"It's a copy of the video I took of Anthony getting the train. You're okay with that, right?" Bella asked hopefully.

"Yeah," Edward said after thinking for a moment. "That's nice. She'll like that."

By the time Edward stepped out of the truck, Esme was already down the driveway and standing before him.

"Well isn't this a nice surprise," she said with a smile. Her eyes wafted to the container Edward held and then back to his face. Seeing that she noticed it, Edward awkwardly held it out to her.

"Bella made a cobbler for dessert. I figured you already had Christmas dinner, so we just brought dessert and then, that disc has pictures or something on it," Edward said. His voice sounded odd in his own ears – like it belonged to someone else, so he abruptly stopped speaking.

When he did so, Esme turned her attention to Anthony, who was more than happy to remain inside the truck with the windows rolled up.

"Hello, young man," Esme smiled after opening the passenger door. "Did you have a nice Christmas?"

Anthony nodded.

"Did Santa bring you a train?" Esme asked.

"No, but my dad's friend did," Anthony smiled. "It's a big train. It used to be my dad's," Anthony explained.

Esme laughed as if he'd told the funniest joke in the world. "And do you like it?"

Anthony nodded. "It's my favorite!"

"And do you also like hot chocolate and butter cookies?" she asked holding out her hand to him.

Anthony's face scrunched up in dislike. "Well…I like hot chocolate but I don't think I want to put butter on my cookies," Anthony told her seriously. He accepted her hand nonetheless.

"Oh, okay," Esme laughed again. She waved at Edward and Bella to follow her.

Inside, Edward was surprised to find that Esme hadn't been alone. There were three people sitting in the living room laughing and talking and drinking what looked like egg nog. And then there was Carlisle, perched upon a chair in the corner of the room with a large picture on his lap. As soon as Anthony saw him, he went and hid behind Bella, who was standing behind Edward.

"Hello, everyone," Esme stepped into the room and earned the attention of all present, even Carlisle's for a brief moment. "Please excuse me for a minute; I have some very important visitors who stopped by to bring me some Christmas goodies."

Edward and Bella offered a quick hello before allowing Esme to usher them off toward the kitchen. Edward hesitated a moment as he looked over at his father, wondering if he'd cause a scene in front of all these people, but Carlisle paid him no more mind than he did the sconce on the wall. Edward was a stranger to him.

"We're not going to stay," Edward said quickly. "Sorry to barge in. I didn't realize you'd have company."

"Normally I wouldn't, but the last time we talked I painted such a bleak picture of my holidays that I depressed myself," Esme smiled. "Those are a few of the people from the county that help me out with Carlisle from time to time. They didn't have any plans for the holidays either, so I invited them over here for dinner. We had pizza," she added.

"We just wanted to say 'Merry Christmas', Esme," Bella said when the kitchen got quiet. "We'll let you get back to your guests."

"Oh, no. Please," she reached for Edward's arm and then thought better of it. "Don't go yet. Can you stay just a little bit longer?"

"Can I sit here?" Anthony answered for his father when he went over to the small kitchen table and took a seat. He promptly took off his jacket and waited patiently for Esme to give him what she'd promised: hot chocolate and cookies, hold the butter.

"Well…I guess that's that, then," she smiled as she put a small napkin down in front of Anthony in preparation of serving him.

"Esme!" a woman called from the living room. The concern was evident in her voice so Esme wasted no time in going to see what she wanted; but she wasn't quick enough and the woman reached her seconds after Carlisle came into view, peering into the kitchen as if he was looking for something he'd lost.

"I think he heard something, I don't know," the woman explained. "One minute he was just looking at that poster I brought him and the next minute, he was out of his seat and nearly running in here."

"Carlisle?" Esme put her hand out to him nervously. "Honey, did you need something?"

Of course Carlisle had no answer for her. Insistently, he pushed past her and walked over to the table, toward Anthony. As soon as Edward saw his father's movements, he went for Anthony, whose eyes were frantically seeking Edward out.

"Dad?" Anthony squeaked.

"Don't."

"Dad?" Anthony was up and out of the chair in a flash and heading straight for Edward's arms when the strange and ethereal voice spoke again.

"Don't." Then, a little louder, "No! Don't!"

"Carlisle, honey, please. You're scaring Anthony," Esme tried to calm him down, but she didn't look too concerned with stopping the flow of words from his mouth.

Edward didn't wait around to see if her attempts at appeasement would work. He motioned for Bella to exit the kitchen and he picked Anthony up with the full intention of doing the same. Yet Carlisle had determined intentions of his own and Edward found himself stuck in the back corner of the kitchen with Anthony clutching to him for dear life and Carlisle blocking his path to freedom.

"Edward. Come on. Come with me, Edward," Carlisle beseeched. "Don't let him take you from me, Edward. Don't go with him. Don't go."

"Carlisle..." A weak sob escaped Esme as she and Edward had a simultaneous revelation: muted speech wasn't Carlisle's only issue.

Edward gazed at his father through tearful eyes, longing to hear his name fall from Carlisle's lips again – longing to be the one his father was so desperately pleading for; but Edward's gaze was not returned, because Carlisle only saw the little boy, whose shivering and shaking form was but a miniature version of the son he'd allowed to be taken away from him a dozen years ago.


	35. Chapter 35 Don't You Forget About Me

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 35 – Don't You (Forget About Me)**

Bella struggled with her place as she watched the two Cullens in her life labor over what had just happened – a nightmare in the making for each of them. For all that she'd been through with Anthony and Edward, Bella knew that the direct approach that worked best with Anthony was not the best method for Edward. Edward needed his own space to sort things out in his own mind before he was capable of sharing with others, whereas Anthony needed to be swiftly steered onto the right path of thought or his mind would take over and send him spiraling toward unnecessary fears.

And so she let Edward come to grips on his own, pretending not to see when he swatted angrily at the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes and she quietly reassured Anthony as he sat in the back seat, sniveling and sniffing in fear.

Once they were home, Bella was happy to see Anthony return to his train set. However after only a few seconds of fiddling with switches and knobs, Anthony retreated to his bedroom without a word. Bella was about to follow to check on him when Edward stepped in her path.

He stared at her for a silent while, his eyes watering with unshed tears.

"What the hell?" he finally whispered. "What am I supposed to -?"

The lost little boy of twelve years before was back. Bella held her arms out to him and he crashed into her. She held him tightly as deep, angry sobs shook his frame and tried her best to keep her own tears at bay.

"What am I supposed to do?" Edward cried into Bella's shoulder.

She rubbed his back in response, as speech evaded her. So badly she wanted to tell him what she thought was the best thing for him, and possibly the best thing for Anthony as well, but she wasn't sure and being wrong in such a volatile situation could be detrimental, not only to her relationship with Edward, but also his relationship with his son.

A commotion coming from upstairs startled Bella and Edward. They slightly stepped away from each other and listened again for the noise.

There was a whimper and then a distraught yell of, "Gus!"

Anthony came nearly tumbling down the stairs with a shoebox in his hands.

"Daddy!" he made a beeline for Edward. "Gus got borned again!"

Edward quickly wiped at his eyes as Bella dropped to her knees to distract Anthony while his father composed himself.

"Look! He's fixed," Anthony shoved the box at Bella.

"Uh…wow," Bella said as she looked up at Edward, wondering if they should let Anthony think a Christmas miracle had fixed Gus, or if they should tell him the truth.

But Edward's thoughts appeared to be beyond Bella's. For he was focused not on the fact that Anthony needed to be informed of how "Gus" materialized repaired, but on the fact that Anthony needed Gus in the first place.

Two days later, Edward took Anthony to see Leisel through no prompting from Bella. He called, scored an appointment that someone else had canceled, calling only to tell Bella that she wouldn't have Anthony with her that afternoon.

Bella told herself that she was happy about the opportunity to have an early dinner with the girls, but really, she just needed to keep her mind occupied so she wouldn't worry about how Edward and Anthony were faring.

"Spare ribs are my ambrosia," Alice proclaimed as she sucked the tender meat from the bone.

"You know, I'm getting sick of how all that food you're eating isn't showing one bit on your body," Rosalie said.

"Nice try," Alice paused long enough to speak. She gestured to her midsection. "But unless you're hiding a basketball underneath your shirt that I'm missing, I don't want to hear about it. And look at my arms," she held up her right arm for a visual. "Flab city."

Bella didn't see anything even remotely resembling flab, but she didn't bother to say anything. Alice was convinced that she was huge and there was nothing that anyone could say that would talk her out of it.

"Did you get any useful things for the baby for Christmas?" Bella asked Alice, directing the conversation in another direction.

"I did! The girls at work got me the stroller I wanted. And I got a lot of really cute clothes. Some of them are unisex, but a lot of them aren't. Oh, and I got a cool diaper bag, too. Jasper got it for me," Alice prattled. Then she banged her hand down on the table like she'd just remembered something. "And speaking of Christmas presents, Rosalie told me you had a hot little number planned for Edward."

"Rosalie!" Bella complained.

"Oh shut up. Like you weren't going to tell me about it eventually," Alice said.

"I hope you deliver your bluntness along with the placenta," Rosalie said airily.

"Whatever," Alice rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to Bella. "So, how'd it go? Did he like it?"

"Well…" Bella hesitated.

"He liked it," Rosalie answered for her.

"Actually, he didn't," Bella corrected. "He just about flipped out."

"Because he liked it," Rosalie said.

"Because he _didn't_ like it."

Alice watched the conversation going on without her for a split second. "Wait, what, exactly did he or did he not like?"

"Well, I bought this barely-there red lingerie thing and dressed up for him," Bella began.

"And he didn't like it?" Alice frowned. "What's wrong with him?"

"That's not the part he didn't like," Bella said.

"He liked the prostate rub," insisted Rosalie.

"The _what_?" Alice asked loudly.

"Prostate rub," Rosalie said matter of fact. "It's a well known fact that one-third of a man's penis is internal and you can rub the base of it through the prostate. It drives men wild."

"Isn't a prostate an internal organ?" Alice asked.

"Yeah. You can reach it if you stick your finger up your man's ass," Rosalie answered.

Alice nearly choked on her spare ribs.

"Exactly," Bella responded to Alice's reaction. "And Rosalie, here, assured me that Edward would just love me to pieces if I pulled that freaky-deaky little move. Two words," she looked over at Rosalie for effect. "He didn't."

"He _did_," Rosalie said. "I'm tellin' you, he was freaked out at first, but as soon as Emmett calmed him down, he admitted to liking it."

"He talked to Emmett about it?" Bella asked Rosalie.

"You stuck your finger up Edward's ass?" Alice asked Bella.

"Why'd he talk to Emmett about it?" Bella asked, ignoring Alice's question for the moment.

"Oh you know how guys are," Rosalie made light of it. "They think taking anything up the ass means they're queer or something," she rolled her eyes. "Neanderthals."

"Do you know how much I was freaking out? Thinking I'd caused him to relive some traumatic experience or something?" Bella complained.

"Leave it to Edward to over-react," Rosalie added.

The conversation continued lightly and Bella felt herself relaxing and enjoying the company of her friends. However, at the corners of her consciousness, she was very aware of how much time had passed and the fact that Edward had not yet contacted her. She managed to make it all the way home from dinner before she sent Edward a text message and let him know that his silence was worrying her.

He called her ten minutes later.

Yet Bella wasn't able to answer her phone because she had a visitor at that moment that she was almost just as anxious to see.

"Esme?" she asked when she opened her front door.

"Bella, I'm sorry to come without calling, but I need your help," Esme asked desperately. "I called Edward earlier, just to check on him and talk a few things out…it didn't go well."

"What do you mean?" Bella stepped aside so that Esme could enter, all the while wondering if she was making a big mistake by getting involved.

"Thank you," Esme responded to Bella's hospitality. She scurried inside and took a seat on Bella's couch. "Edward is upset with me because of what happened on Christmas." Esme thought better of her statement and rephrased it. "He's not really upset with _me,_ but it's coming out that way. Anyway, he's upset that Anthony is so afraid of Carlisle."

"It is pretty unfortunate that everytime Anthony sees Carlisle, he does something scary," Bella agreed.

"But that's not a bad thing," Esme said quickly.

"It's not?" Bella couldn't see how it wasn't. "Esme, Anthony was literally shaking when Edward put him in the car that night, and the time before, well, he had nightmares." Bella neglected to add that she herself nearly had nightmares. Carlisle had scared the shit out of her that day.

"Bella, you don't understand. Up until Christmas, things looked pretty bleak for Carlisle. He was locked in his own world and there didn't seem to be anything that could shake him out of it. He seemed to have no connection to me or the life we'd shared together." Esme pivoted her body toward Bella and looked upon her pleadingly. "When Carlisle spoke, the first time you and Edward came to the house, I tried for hours and hours to get him to do it again, but it was almost like it had never happened. And I was starting to believe myself that it had just been a fluke until you all came by on Christmas…" she trailed off and stared at Bella, as if waiting for her to finish her sentence.

Bella felt as if she was being baited for something and that immediately put her on the defensive. "Why is Edward upset with you?" she changed the subject.

"Well," Esme smoothed her palms over her skirt. "Remember the people that were over to the house when you stopped by?" Esme nodded in answer to her own question. "Well, they helped me calm Carlisle down after you left and Mike, one of the men that was there, mentioned something about Carlisle being triggered. That's when I remembered that a previous therapist had said that Carlisle showed some signs of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but he didn't seem to have a trigger."

"You think Anthony's some sort of trigger?" Bella asked.

Esme shrugged. "Anthony…kids…I don't know. But what I _do_ know is that both times Carlisle spoke, it was when Anthony came to the house, and not until after Anthony said something did Carlisle say anything."

"Yes, but –"

An insistent knock at the door interrupted Bella's comment, and she knew even before she answered that it was Edward.

"Excuse me," she told Esme before quickly running over to the door and warning Edward. "Your mother's here," she whispered.

Bella watched as Edward's jaw set in defiance and his eyes hardened in anger.

"Anthony, go with Bella," he said quietly before heading into the living room to face Esme.

Bella picked up Anthony and ducked into the kitchen where she could shield Anthony from the brewing storm, but also hear every word.

"Edward." The nervousness in Esme's voice was apparent.

Edward seemed to take no note of it as he asked, "What are you doing here?"

"I just came to talk to Bella."

"'Bout what? Because I made myself perfectly clear this morning. I am _not_ letting you use Anthony as some sort of guinea pig."

"Of course not. Of course I don't expect that, Edward. And it breaks my heart that he's so afraid of your dad. But you know that your dad isn't well, and after years of no leads, we finally have some idea of what might get through to him."

"Yeah, I already heard all this. And I haven't changed my mind. And if kids or a little boy's voice is a trigger for him, then get some other kid. Anthony's been through enough. It's not going to be him."

"Edward, please, just hear me out. All I'm asking is-"

"No!"

It was the loudest Bella had ever heard Edward yell, and his booming voice frightened her and Anthony. She knew it was time for a distraction or an end to Esme's visit before things got out of hand. After settling Anthony down with a snack, Bella peeked into the living room.

"Everything okay in here?" she asked.

"I think I should go," Esme said quietly. As she stood to leave, she turned to face Edward one last time. "Honey, you're misunderstanding me. I don't want to put Anthony in a position where he's frightened, but I was just hoping that you'd be open to maybe seeing what the doctor has to say."

"I already know what the doctors are going to say. They're going to say that they need to see evidence of him reacting to Anthony and in order to see that for themselves, I'm going to have to let Anthony be in the same room with him, and I'm not going to do that," Edward struggled to keep his voice even.

Bella felt so sorry for both Edward and his mother – both trying to act in the best interest of someone they loved so unselfishly. And yet it was that love that was tethering them both to black and white instead of a compromising shade of gray. An idea leapt into Bella's mind that could possibly give them both what they wanted, but Bella bit her tongue to keep from speaking up. This was Edward's battle.

"Thank you for your time," Esme said quietly to Bella as she headed for the door. She reached out to Bella and squeezed her hand. In doing so, she noticed the ring on the fourth finger of Bella's left hand. "This is new," she commented.

"Yes," Bella stole a glimpse at Edward before continuing. "It was an early Christmas present."

"So you're…?"

"Engaged, yes."

"Yes," Esme echoed as she smiled. Bella looked up to see the dew of early tears in her eyes. "Yes. This is right," she whispered and squeezed Bella's hand one last time before letting herself out.

Edward cast a few defensive glances Bella's way before he began to pace the length of her living room. She watched him in silence.

"She had no right to come over here!" he finally erupted. "She can't just come over here to get you to agree with her every time I don't."

Bella nodded in agreement. This motion seemed to diffuse him almost instantly.

"So you don't think she's right?" Edward asked.

"About what?" Bella asked.

"She didn't tell you?"

"I don't think she had a chance. What does she want?"

"She wants to use Anthony in some kind of therapy program for…Carlisle." He said the name as if it had a bad aftertaste.

"A therapy program?"

Edward nodded. "One of those county guys thinks Anthony might be some sort of trigger or something. It's the only consistent factor whenever my…dad has said anything."

"What about you? You're there every time Carlisle has said something."

Edward shook his head. "No, not every time. When I went to get the train, he came home before I left and he looked right through me, like he'd never seen me before. And when we went over for Christmas, he didn't pay any attention to me until after Anthony said something, and even then it was only because I was holding Anthony. Both times he said something, I was holding Anthony."

Bella looked over to see Edward staring off into space as he uttered the last word. She put her hand atop his and rubbed the back of his palm, careful to avoid the tender looking cut on one of his knuckles.

"Not doing it, not putting Anthony through that…that's the right decision, right?" Edward quietly asked.

"Whatever you think is best for Anthony," Bella told him.

Edward sighed in frustration and rubbed harshly at the skin just above his eyebrows. "Bella, I'm asking you because I don't _know_ what's best in this situation."

"Well if you think it'll harm him. I mean, he obviously had a setback when he needed Gus, right? What'd the therapist say?"

Edward shook his head in disagreement. "She said it was as simple as it seemed. Anthony got scared and he went for his security item, much like a kid who's afraid of the dark needs a nightlight or a special blanket. She said that since Anthony doesn't change his behavior for Gus, like he doesn't suddenly _like_ being in the dark if he has Gus, then she's not worried about it. Anthony uses Gus for comfort and that's all."

"Hm," Bella mused. She hadn't expected such a simple explanation, but it made sense – and she was beyond happy to hear that so far, Anthony hadn't suffered any real emotional damage.

"Did you know his eating is a comfort thing, too?" Edward went on. "I just thought he liked food, but Leisel said that usually children who have suffered some sort of trauma ask for food even when they're not hungry."

Bella had always noticed how frequently Anthony said that he was hungry, but she'd always attributed it to the fact that he knew he wasn't going to like what his father gave him when he got home, because he rarely ate all the food she gave him and he often wanted to wrap it up and "save it for later".

"Will he grow out of that?" Bella asked. "Did she say?"

Edward shrugged. "She said it isn't a big deal and that I had to make sure he ate on a schedule. When he gets used to the schedule, he'll stop asking for food so often."

Again, this made sense to Bella and she told Edward as much casually as she put his arm around her and snuggled up close to him. She could tell that he was still distracted and so she simply sat with him and let her words be few.

Edward sat rigidly next to her, his arm draped across her shoulder like a piece of cardboard. Anthony wandered into the living room then, and upon seeing them, crawled up beside Bella and tugged on Edward's arm until it reached across him as well.

That motion succeeded in breaking Edward's trance and he looked over at Anthony and smiled.

As they sat there, each connected through their proximity, Bella felt the stirrings of her nurturing nature. She wanted to fix everything, to make them whole and happy. The feeling of it not being "her place" was beginning to wane as Edward's strong fingers held one of her hands and Anthony's fist lay palm up against her thigh. These were her people. This was her family.

The scene must have set Edward's thoughts on a similar path as Bella's, because seconds later he asked, "When does escrow close on the house?"

"I saw Rosalie earlier and she said that if all goes well, it should close in two weeks," Bella answered.

"You need to start packing."

"I know, but I'm afraid to. I feel like I'm being presumptuous and that I might jinx it somehow."

"You won't." Then Edward proceeded to tell her what Emmett had suggested, about taking over Edward's lease so that he could move in with Bella when she relocated to the new house.

Bella let that information sink in. _It was really happening. _ Suddenly, she started to get excited and she thought she was getting Edward excited, too, as they talked about sharing the two-car garage, setting up a BBQ grill on the patio and what color they'd paint the interior of their house. But a few hours later, as they lay in bed, his distraction was palpable and it was clear that his mind had wandered back to serious matters.

Bella rolled over on her side and was halfway to slumber before Edward came to life again.

"You think I just don't want to help him, don't you?"

"Huh?" Bella asked, not quite sure if Edward had spoke or if she'd actually fell asleep and dreamt it.

"My dad. You think I don't want to help him and that's why I'm not letting Anthony do it."

"Why do you say that?" Bella rolled over on her back and turned her head to look at him.

"That's what my mom thinks."

"Did she tell you that?"

"No, but I can tell."

Bella let the silence weigh in on them before she asked the inevitable question.

"_Is_ that why you won't let Anthony do it?"

"I told you why I wouldn't let Anthony do it. Why isn't that a good enough reason for anyone?" Edward asked in exasperation.

"I didn't say it wasn't a good reason."

"You're not saying anything…which isn't like you."

"Maybe I don't know what to say."

"You always know what to say, Bella."

"Knowing what to say and having something to say are two different things."

"You're usually right. Even if I don't like to admit it," Edward chuckled at his confession.

"No. I'm not." She lifted her eyes to his. "Like when I suggested you go visit your mom on Christmas Day? Look what happened."

Edward shifted so that he was above Bella, looking down at her as she looked up at him.

"You're blaming yourself for what happened on Christmas?" he asked.

Bella took in the incredulous expression on his face and pulled up the blankets to partially hide beneath them. "I don't know…Y_es_?"

"Baby, that's not your fault. How were you supposed to know he was going to freak out on Anthony?"

"Oh I don't know. Maybe because he's done it before?"

"But we didn't know it was because of Anthony. I certainly didn't know that. And if I did, I wouldn't have agreed to go. But I did want to see my…I mean, I wanted to make sure my mom wasn't all alone on Christmas – and she wasn't. So…I mean…shit, my dad's crazy, Bella. That's not your fault."

Bella aligned her body with Edward's and kissed him softly on his shoulder. She appreciated Edward trying to make her feel better, but she still harbored a modicum of guilt, not just that Anthony had once again been frightened by his grandfather, but also that Edward had put himself out there and hadn't been rewarded with a success.

"What was he like when you were growing up?" she asked of Edward's father. "Do you remember?"

"I remember," Edward stated. He was quiet, as if that was all he was going to say, but then he added. "He was funny."

"Really? He seems so serious. I expected you to say he was strict."

"No, not at all." Edward let out the soft hint of a chuckle. "He would do anything to keep from punishing me. He had the most creative punishments…"

"Like what?"

"Well…like, if I didn't clean my room or something, he'd hide something in my room and refuse to tell me what it was. The bigger the mess, the bigger the thing he'd hide."

"That sounds like it'd encourage you to leave big messes."

"He once hid a bullfrog in my room. I could hear it, but I couldn't find it. It drove me nuts. To this day, I hate frogs."

"That's disgusting!" Bella lamented. "How long did it take you to find it?"

"Not long. A day and a half, I think. It had hopped into one of my jacket pockets. But it did the trick. I cleaned my room."

"What else did he do?" Bella asked, interested to see Edward's father as anything else besides the scary man that she knew him as.

"Well, he was a doctor, so he did the traditional stuff of making me go to work with him, seeing burn victims when I played with fire, that kind of thing. He also took me to a ropes course for a trust building exercise when I lied to my mother once."

"You only lied to your mother once?"

"I only got called on it once," Edward smirked.

"Your dad sounds like he was a lot of fun."

"He was…" Edward trailed off. Suddenly he put his hands over his eyes; he expelled a ragged breath and fought fruitlessly against imminent tears.

Edward allowed Bella to comfort him once again, but only for a few short moments. Abruptly he sat up, resting his feet on the floor at the side of the bed, and raked his hands through his hair.

"Fuck," he muttered. Edward _hated_ his emotions.

"Babe," Bella whispered as she rubbed his lower back.

"It's like I have two fuckin' lives, you know?" he asked. "When I think about my dad…the way he used to laugh or how he taught me to whistle or that fucked up conversation we had when he tried to tell me about sex," Edward sniffled as he laughed. "Of course, _of course_ I want to help him, you know?"

"Right," Bella nodded as she shifted on the bed so that she was sitting beside him.

"My mom said he doesn't blame me. She said that he knows it wasn't my fault that day, but I want to hear _him_ say it. Because I remember the way he looked in that courtroom and what he said…I want to hear him say that he doesn't blame me." Edward cast drowning pools of green on Bella. "But not at Anthony's expense. I can't risk that, Bella."

"Well…maybe you can do something without involving Anthony directly," Bella suggested.

"Like what?"

"Well, when we went over there, Carlisle seemed to really be into that picture he was holding. Maybe if he had a picture of Anthony?"

Edward began shaking his head even before Bella had finished her sentence. "She tried it," he said of Esme. "I gave her one of Anthony's school pictures and she said my dad didn't even look twice at it when she showed him. Plus it's Anthony's voice that he's responding to more than anything."

"So a recording then?"

The next day when Edward called Esme to ask if she thought the alternative method would work, it was clear that she was just as desperate as he was to try anything. So Edward had Anthony call Esme's number, and when the answering machine picked up, Anthony shyly stated, "Thank you for the train."

Bella hoped, dearly, for something to come of it and she even found herself reassuring Edward concretely of a positive outcome. Therefore, four hours later when Esme called to report an absolute failure, Bella heavily shared Edward's disappointment.

"We tried, right?" Edward asked with a false positivity.

"Honey, that's just one thing. We can try something else," Bella encouraged, and she knew that Esme had said something along those same lines.

But Edward had, unfortunately, put all his hope in that one experiment and that hope had made him vulnerable. He took the failure personally and instead of move forward to the next approach, Edward withdrew from the idea that anything would help the father he once knew and the "what-if" that had initially inspired him died like an emberless fire.

In fact, Bella was disheartened to learn that one of Edward's New Year's resolutions was to "be more practical", even though he'd tried to explain it away as saying that he had to bet on more sure things now that he was nearly a homeowner, since escrow was due to close in a few short days. However, Bella knew what he truly meant and she knew it was just a matter of time before he discouraged the whimsical stories she told to entertain Anthony or the harmless imagination of a five-year-old boy.

Yet, instead of correct or condone Edward's reasoning, Bella considered it another one of his many defense mechanisms, and she let him work things out in his own time. She turned her attention, instead, to the seemingly never-ending packing that had to be done, the astronaut and space theme she'd promised Anthony for his room and the countless number of emails and phone calls she received from her mother.

Finally, the day had arrived and Anthony went over to Jasper and Alice's house for a profusely pledged short ice cream sundae party, while Bella and Edward sat in what was soon to be Emmett's (and probably Rosalie's) kitchen, with a bottle of champagne nestled between them.

It was close of escrow day, and they waited anxiously for Rosalie's call to tell them that they held title and keys to the 1600 square feet at 2365 Dresden Lane.

"Should she have called by now? Should we be worried?" Bella wondered aloud.

"I don't think so. We already know the loan is funded and that all the paperwork has been signed." Edward shook out his hand in pretense. "I still have the cramp in my fingers to prove it."

"What's the first thing you want to do when we move in?" Bella asked as a way of distracting herself.

"Seriously? You don't know the answer to this question?" Edward raised his eyebrows at her.

"Backyard BBQ?" Bella feigned ignorance.

"You know what I mean," Edward leaned forward like a predator confronting its prey. "And I wouldn't mind if you wanted to rewrap my Christmas present so I could unwrap it again."

His comment made Bella think about the bedroom they would soon share, and she was just about to remind Edward that they needed to put a lock on their bedroom door when the phone rang. Edward slid his phone over to her, yielding to her to be the first to experience the good news.

Though there was very little chance of Rosalie calling with bad news at this juncture, Bella still inhaled slowly, shut her eyes tight and answered the phone.

"Hello?" she tried to hide the excitement in her voice.

"Edward."

The voice sounded far away and Bella's eyes rapidly opened and focused on her fiancé.

"Rosalie?" she questioned, even though it didn't sound like Rosalie at all.

Her inquiry was met with shallow, rapid breathing in the foreground and in the background the feathery voice was heard again.

"Edward."

Bella shook her head at Edward, signaling him of her confusion.

_Who is it?_ He mouthed.

Bella shrugged. "Hello?" she asked again. "Rosalie?"

"It worked," squeaked a tiny voice.

"Esme?"

"The video of Anthony with the train," Esme sobbed. "I didn't know what was on the disc when I put it in the player…but Carlisle…it worked."

Bella watched as the color drained from Edward's face at the mention of his mother's name. In three seconds flat, Edward's countenance reflected an entire spectrum of emotions: fear, anger, indifference, hope, innocence and wonder.

And then, one second later, with Bella's phone still pressed firmly to his ear, joy filtered through his eyes at the sound of his father's voice softly calling his name.

.


	36. Chapter 36 Our House

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 36 – Our House**

Anthony sat at the table with Gus 1 and Gus 2 on each side of his cereal bowl. His eyes danced between Bella and Edward as they discussed their schedule for the coming week.

"I'll pack everything I can this week and then we can start moving on Thursday. I'll get a sub for Friday," Bella explained. Edward nodded but only partially listened. He knew Bella was speaking more for her own benefit than his. They'd already gone over their plan twice.

"A _sustitute_?" Anthony frowned. "You're not going to be my teacher?"

Bella glanced over at Edward and he knew exactly what she was thinking without actually hearing the words. The previous night, they'd had a discussion about moving Anthony to a different class, just to keep anything from being weird since they would now all be living together. Edward had brought it up simply to see if Bella had been considering it and if she'd thought it was for the best. Neither of them was very fond of the idea, and they certainly knew Anthony wouldn't be.

"I don't want him to think he's being punished because we're moving in together and getting married," Bella had said.

"Well is it against some kind of policy? We just bought a house. I don't want you to get blindsided and lose your job or something," Edward said.

"It's not like that. I'm not doing anything illegal. And it's public education – we're not exactly vying for a position of superiority."

Edward looked at Bella with mock offense. "Are you talking shit about my son's education?"

"No," Bella huffed. "I just meant that-"

Edward kissed her words away. "I was just playin' with ya," he smirked. But then he kissed her again and that was the end of any and all conversation for the moment.

Even still, they were able to come to the conclusion that Anthony would not be moved – Bella making the point that he might suffer unnecessary separation anxiety, which his comment about a substitute teacher now confirmed.

And so the week went as planned with no change to Anthony's routine. They spent all evening Thursday packing boxes and moving furniture. Friday morning, Edward dropped Anthony off at school and Bella went over to Edward's house to pack up the remaining boxes.

"I usually hate moving," Edward said after he'd returned a half hour later. "But this time isn't so bad."

"It might have something to do with the fact that you started packing a week ago instead of waiting until the last minute," Bella smirked at him.

"Maybe," Edward smiled in return.

They were in his garage moving boxes to the middle of the floor that would then be transfered into the bed of Bella's truck. There were a large number of boxes marked with Anthony's name that Edward was in the process of going through and consolidating into smaller boxes if possible. He paused when he open one box and was met with the happy, grinning face of a baby Anthony.

When he was quiet and unmoving for a few moments, Bella came up to look over his shoulder.

"Aww," she crooned as she picked up a large photo of Anthony, circa age one. "Edward, he looks so much like you."

Edward had to admit, that as much as people said that to him, he often didn't see the resemblance. But in the particular photo that Bella now held up, there was no questioning it; he saw it, too.

In addition to the photos of Anthony, there were also a few of Jessica. Edward noticed how Bella watched him as his eyes roved over the pictures.

"She's very pretty," Bella said, as if giving him permission to think so as well.

"Mmm," Edward grunted. He didn't really want to talk about Jessica. They hadn't gotten along well at all and he hadn't thought about her in years before Anthony had come into his life. Still, it didn't seem right to disrespect her on two counts: she was Anthony's mother and she was deceased.

"Her hair's nice. My hair would never take a perm," Bella continued.

"It wasn't a perm." Not that Edward knew that much about women's hair, it's just that Jessica had constantly complained about her curly hair, and how she didn't understand how someone would pay for the wiry mess she had on her head. He remembered how many compliments she used to get on her hair and Edward had secretly wondered if her complaints were just subtle attempts to prompt flattery.

"Oh." Bella set the picture down and moved on to the next box as if it called her name.

Edward watched her with a quiet amusement. She was insecure about his history with another woman. At first he thought she was being silly. After all, he hadn't asked Jessica to marry him. But then, when he considered how he'd feel if they were going through boxes that held photos of one of her ex-boyfriends, with whom she held a permanent connection in the form of a child, he had to admit that he might be a little uncomfortable as well.

While Bella was standing with her back turned toward him, Edward walked over to her and put his arms loosely around her waist and rested his lips lightly against the flesh at her neck.

"When men close their eyes and think about what they want to do with a woman," Edward paused to nip at her skin, "they usually see their very own version of perfection. Wanna know what my perfect woman looks like?"

"What?" Bella asked softly, turning her head to the side only a smidgeon so as not to disturb what Edward was doing.

"She has the most beautiful, creamy, soft skin…" He opened his lips against the small indention behind her ear, his tongue darting out swiftly, to caress her there.

"Her eyes…" Edward traced her closed eyelids with his fingertips. He loved Bella's eyes, her succinct nose and her full lips, but he was no poet and the words he had to describe them wouldn't do them justice.

"She smells so good," he whispered as he ghosted the tip of his nose over the crook of her neck.

"Her beautiful, dark hair is silky and shiny and glides perfectly though my fingers." Edward demonstrated the act.

"Her ass is so firm and smooth," Edward reached down and squeezed one of Bella's cheeks before sliding his hands up her torso and underneath her shirt. "And her tits – a perfect handful."

The front clasp on Bella's bra easily gave way to Edward's probing fingers as he reached up and lightly rolled her tips between his thumb and forefinger.

"Edward," Bella softly moaned. "Someone is going to see us…" After all, the garage door was wide open.

"Let 'em look," Edward said, even though he'd cast a glance behind him and saw that the coast was clear.

When Bella made no further arguments, Edward's hand moved back across her belly and down to the closure on her jeans, where he wasted no time undoing it enough to slip his hand inside of her underwear.

"And her pussy…" He and Bella hissed in unison when he slipped two fingers inside her heat. "So wet…and hot…and mine…"

Edward stopped speaking and pummeled Bella's mouth with deep, open-mouthed kisses. Her whimpering and murmuring, in addition to the fact that someone could walk by at any moment and catch them, ignited Edward's desire and he pressed his hardness against her ass firmly and insistently.

"In my own mind, when it's completely my choice and nobody else will ever know," Edward lightly tugged at her earlobe with his teeth, "it's still only you I see. It'll always only be you."

Bella leaned her head back against Edward's shoulder, fisted her hand through his hair and captured his mouth with her own. She was so moved by his words that Edward was sure it would take little prompting to get her to let him take her right then and there in the open garage in the middle of the morning.

But their uninterrupted escapade didn't last long. Just as Edward was about to suggest they move things to the kitchen counter, living room couch, shower stall – or anywhere just as long as he could sink himself inside of Bella, they heard the sputtering sound of Emmett's car pulling up.

"Fuck!" Edward complained as Bella scrambled to button her jeans and readjust her bra beneath the layers of her shirt.

"Hello, Happy Homeowners," Rosalie sing-songed as she walked up behind Emmett.

Emmett had offered his assistance to help Edward move the bigger pieces of furniture, but since Emmett had to take the day off work to do so, Edward knew he was more motivated by the fact that he and Rosalie would be moving in as Edward was moving out.

"Hey," Edward intercepted Rosalie's path to give Bella a few more seconds to situate herself. "Aren't you supposed to buy us a new mailbox or something? Isn't that what real estate agents do when escrow closes?"

Rosalie looked worried for a moment. Her eyes darted toward Bella and then back to Edward. "Well…I-I guess I could. S-sorry. I didn't think to-"

"Just messin' with ya," Edward said.

"He's been doing that a lot today," Bella said as she came up and stood beside him. "It just means he's happy or something."

Edward just thought he was making small talk, but Bella had given him that 'I'll tell you later' look before she swept Rosalie up in a conversation and moved with her to the other side of the garage.

"Women," Edward mumbled to himself as he picked up a box and shifted it to the pile that needed to be loaded into Bella's truck.

"Looks like you guys made a lot of headway," Emmett said as he walked up to Edward. He was looking around the garage at all the progress that had been made.

"We've been at it all week," Edward said. "We probably should be done."

"Well…it's easy to get distracted."

Edward looked over at Emmett after that vague comment and found his friend smirking at him.

"Man, did you-"

"Don't worry. I didn't see anything. But it was obvious that you two weren't discussing who was going to lift the heavier boxes when we pulled up."

Edward looked over at Bella to make sure that she was none the wiser about Emmett's revelation. He knew she'd be horrified if she knew Emmett knew of their pre-visit antics, and he didn't want anything to sour her mood, because as soon as he could shake Emmett and Rosalie, Edward had every intention of returning to their earlier activities.

However, in making sure that Bella didn't know what Emmett had said, he tuned in to the conversation that she and Rosalie were having and he immediately wished he hadn't overheard.

"A crib?"

"It was Anthony's."

Edward watched as Rosalie's eyes slid to Bella's midsection and he read her lips. "Oh my gosh, you're pregnant?"

Bella shook her head. "No."

"Then…why do you have this?"

"Edward brought all of Anthony's things from Oregon. He didn't get rid of anything."

"Alice might want to use this. Have you asked her?"

Bella scrunched up her face. "Um…you know…that's really Edward's call. I don't know how he'd feel about it."

"Why do you think he'd care? Are you guys planning to have kids any time soon?"

Edward hadn't been able to look away before Bella had caught him looking, and when their eyes connected, he knew that was most likely another topic they'd be talking about sooner rather than later.

Bella tactfully got out of answering the question, that Edward saw, anyway, and the foursome buckled down and got so much done that by the time Edward went to retrieve Anthony from school, everything was out of the townhouse and Bella was solely working, unpacking and sorting, at their new house.

Actually, Bella had done a lot of work on the house over the weeks while Edward had been at work. She'd said that she'd hired a service to come in and clean the house, but Edward suspected she'd done a lot of the cleaning herself. It already smelled like her apartment did after she'd gone on one of her scouring binges.

In addition to cleaning, Bella had worked overboard on Anthony's room during the evenings when she hadn't stayed the night with Edward. She hadn't asked him for any help and then, with regret, had admitted that she'd painted Anthony's room a midnight blue to compliment the space theme he'd requested. She'd been worried that Edward would feel put out, cheated out of the opportunity to make something special for Anthony.

But secretly, Edward had been working on something special of his own.

When Anthony had announced his desire to have an "astronaut room", Edward had thought about the car bed that he'd went through so much effort to obtain and how it would no longer fit in Anthony's room. His first inclination had been to remind Anthony of how much he'd wanted the bed in the first place, give him a little lesson about how money didn't grow on trees and tell him he could have the astronaut room when he got older.

But then Edward had taken another look at the bed that had come from Salem; the _much nicer_ bed that housed a dresser underneath and provided much more room in a young boy's bedroom to just be a little boy.

So, Edward had given in and said nothing more about the car bed. Then, after a little planning, he came up with a way to make the bed useful and forego cluttering up the garage at the same time. With the help of the local classified ads, Edward was able to find a second-hand swing set for Anthony that was in pretty good condition. After checking it over, he'd arranged to pick it up the following weekend. He had every intention of surprising Anthony with his own backyard playground, complete with a car bed-turned-sandbox.

Now all he had to figure out was how he was going to keep Anthony occupied long enough for him to get it set up.

"He'd probably enjoy helping you with it," Bella said when Edward finally let her in on his secret that night after dinner. After all, he needed her truck to pick up the swing set.

Edward shrugged, mulling over the idea. "Maybe. He likes to tinker with stuff."

"What boy doesn't," Bella sighed as she collapsed across the mattress in exhaustion. It had been a long day.

Edward quickly joined her. He'd never been able to completely take his mind off how intimate they'd gotten earlier, and it took no time at all for his body to return to its ready state. But Bella had other plans.

"Aren't you tired?" she asked him when he began to rub against her body suggestively.

"Yeah, but I'm horny as hell, too," he groaned without letting up. "This fantasy vixen got me all worked up this afternoon."

"I'm so sore, Edward," she whined in a way that he knew wasn't really meant to put him off.

Instead, Edward sat up and began kneading his hands over Bella's arms and shoulders, pressing on her pressure points and aching muscles.

"You're the best," she moaned appreciatively.

"Nah. Nothin' but a little give and take," Edward smiled.

He gave and gave as his fingers flexed over Bella's skin to relieve her tension. And moments later, when he crawled between the valley of her legs, he gave what energy he had left, and took all that she had to offer his willing body.

Equally spent, Edward expected they would both fall asleep immediately, but Bella began hedging at the conversation she and Rosalie had been having in the garage.

"Don't give her crap about the commission, Edward. She didn't make that much and she doesn't have much work lined up. She needs every dime she's got to contribute to Emmett. She wants to make sure he doesn't feel like she's taking advantage of him."

"She'd better not," Edward snorted. He felt that Rosalie was beyond lucky that Emmett was so whipped and that he didn't treat her half as poorly as she'd treated him.

"You know, Rosalie made me realize we haven't had a very important discussion," Bella said as she burrowed beneath the covers at his side.

_Right. Children._

Edward knew this wouldn't be a short conversation, nor should it be, yet he didn't have the stamina to endure it right then.

"Tomorrow?" Edward hinted.

Bella hesitated for a moment, then took in the near-catatonic state Edward was in and let things be.

"Tomorrow," she agreed.

Yet she nor Edward had any idea that it wouldn't be either of them that instigated the conversation the following day.

"Did you get married yesterday?"

Edward overheard the question as he walked toward the kitchen the next morning. Anthony and Bella had gotten up before him and were already having a breakfast of what smelled like eggs and bacon.

"Of course not," Bella said. "We would never do that without you being there."

"But why did we get a new house all together?" Anthony wanted to know.

"Because we needed a house that would fit all of us comfortably. We would have moved after the wedding, but because the house was ready now, we moved in early," Bella offered easily.

"Taylor said you weren't at school yesterday because you got married," Anthony said again.

"Well Taylor, as usual, was wrong," Edward picked up the conversation as he walked into the kitchen and helped himself to a piece of bacon.

"He said that you're my dad's wife," Anthony spoke to Bella as if Edward hadn't interrupted.

"I will be, after we get married," Bella said. "But you already knew that, Anthony."

"Taylor said that wifes are moms."

_Oh. So that's what this was all about._

Edward glanced over his shoulder and watched as Bella's jaw stopped moving mid-chew. Her eyes were focused on the tabletop and he could tell that she was trying to come up with the perfect, age-appropriate thing to say; then she glanced up at Edward for his input.

But since Edward hadn't accepted Bella's invitation to talk about it last night, he had no idea where she stood on the issue.

"Huh...well what do you know? Taylor actually got something right." And so he used humor to deflect.

"Some wives _are_ moms," Bella nodded slowly, keeping her eyes on Edward.

"Are you gonna be the mom kind?" Anthony pressed.

Bella waited the appropriate amount of time for Edward to interject, and when he didn't, she smiled over at Anthony and patted his hand.

"I would love to be the mom kind, but that is really up to you, sweetie."

"Me?"

Bella raised her eyebrows to Edward, inviting him to interrupt at any moment, but in his opinion, she was doing just fine without him. Besides, he had no idea what to say anyway.

"Anthony, I have a project that I want you to help me with." It wasn't the interruption Bella had most likely been hoping for, but it _was _an interruption, and it had successfully garnered Anthony's interest away from the topic at hand.

"What kind of project?" Anthony asked, interested regardless of Edward's answer.

"You'll see," he winked. "Go get some long pants on and tennis shoes."

Anthony scuttled down from the kitchen chair and ran for his barely unpacked bedroom. Edward felt a little proud of himself for being able to save Bella from all the questions…until he looked up and caught a glimpse of her face.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"Why did you do that?" she asked.

"Do what?"

"Change the subject like that. He needs an answer. He's going to think I'm rejecting him."

"Aw, he's not even thinking about that anymore."

"Well _I'm_ thinking about it. And I'd bet my bottom dollar that he brings it up again before the day's over."

Edward shook his head. "I didn't know what you wanted me to say. It hasn't come up."

"I tried to talk to you about it last night but you said you were too tired."

Edward nodded. "I was."

"I need to know what you want me to do," Bella told him.

"About what?"

"About the stepmother thing."

"What do you mean 'what I want you to do'? That's up to you." Edward hid his face behind the cup of orange juice he was drinking and nonchalantly glanced out into the backyard – it was his silent way of telling Bella to chill out and stop overreacting.

"No, it's up to you and Anthony. What if he doesn't want to call me 'mom'?" She fought for his attention.

"He already calls you mom all the time."

"On accident."

Edward shrugged. "If it's cool with you, it'll be cool with him."

"Can you talk to him about it, Edward? Maybe he needs to know where you stand on the subject. You never talk about your mother-"

"Gee, I wonder why," Edward said sarcastically.

"Maybe if you talked about your mother, he'd feel comfortable talking about his…and how he feels about me in that role."

"You're over-thinking this. Don't make such a big deal out of it."

"But it _is_ a big deal." Bella looked down at her fingers and Edward could tell that he'd hurt her feelings. "Do you want kids, Edward? With me? We haven't talked about it."

"I know," Edward said softly.

There had been no shortage of relationships in Edward's memories that had ended after he'd confessed that he never had any intention of fathering children. Before Anthony, Edward would have said that kids were a "buzz kill", always leaking from one orifice or another, and entirely too needy.

However, in the time since his son had come into his life, Edward knew children to grip the heart mercilessly, not letting go until anxiety rendered it numb. They were an endless source of need, both emotionally and physically, and gave new definition to the word exhaustion. They demanded an inhuman degree of selflessness, time and resources, and without an iron will and motivation, your own identity evaporated underneath theirs.

And yet an all-encompassing, limitless supply of love covered this all and made it more than just bearable. It made it preferable.

"Is that a no?" Bella, not privy to his thoughts, mistook Edward's silence for a negative response.

"Do _you_ want kids?" he asked instead.

Now it was Bella's turn to shrug. "I hadn't decided either way. I mean…well eventually I always thought I'd have one or two. It wasn't something that I'd taken off the table."

"Including Anthony or in addition to?" Edward calculated.

"One or two more…including Anthony."

"Three kids?"

"Okay, one more then," Bella compromised.

"It sounds like you've decided to me. You want kids, or _a_ kid, at least."

"You make that sound like a bad thing."

Edward stared at the counter in front of him as if he expected it to give him the answer he sought. "It's not like I don't _want_ to have a kid with you," he began awkwardly. "But just…not right now, I guess. I'm not ready yet."

"Well neither am I," Bella said, matter of fact. "But in a few years...maybe."

"Yeah." But _in a few years_ still didn't make the anxiety in Edward's chest disappear. Edward felt as if his life was on track for the first time in forever, and he wasn't anxious to upset the balance just as he was gaining his footing.

On the other hand, he had to admit that if Bella said she couldn't be with him if he didn't want any kids, then he would certainly give in; it wasn't like having a baby with Bella was a deal breaker for him.

"And if we have a child that call me 'Mom', I don't want Anthony to feel like an outsider because he doesn't. I want to…"

"I'm ready!" Anthony cut Bella off as he rushed into the kitchen wearing a pair of sweat pants and his tennis shoes with no socks.

Edward looked him up and down, accepted the attire and moved toward the hall closet to grab his coat.

However, the phone began to ring ahead of Edward being able to make it out of the kitchen. He glanced down at the display and was shocked to see the name of the person he'd just been trying his hardest not to talk about. Immediately his instinct kicked in, encouraging him not to answer it. The phone rang three more times before he was able to shake off the negative reaction and pick it up right before it went to voicemail.

"Edward?"

He didn't know why she always did that. Didn't she know his voice by now?

"Yeah."

"Oh. Hi. I hope this isn't too early to call…"

"No, it's fine."

"Oh good. Well…I wanted to thank you again for that video. Your dad's therapists are really happy with the progress he's made this week."

"That's good," Edward said flatly, not really sure of what to say.

"Yes…um…but…you know, they were thinking it was time to maybe…move on to another…

um…video."

Edward sighed. He hated feeling her discomfort. She was uncomfortable asking for his help – and even worse, he was still uncomfortable being asked.

"I-I know you're probably busy," she rushed to fill the silence. "Which is why I wanted to give you a little notice so that you had time…"

"Yeah. We just moved so things are a little topsy-turvy right now." It was the most unassuming way he knew how to offer her that little tidbit of news. Had they even gotten to the point where it was important for her to know such things?

"You moved? A-Away?" Esme asked nervously.

"No. Just to a new house. We bought a house." Edward's chest swelled with pride at being able to tell his mother of his accomplishment, even if he couldn't have done it without Bella.

"Oh, Edward! That's wonderful! Buying a house, getting married – it's so great! I'm so proud of you," Esme gushed.

"Thanks," he said bashfully.

"Well I'm not going to keep you. I know how hectic it can be to move. But, whenever you get a free moment, I have Saturday afternoons to myself and a couple hours on Wednesdays. Even if you feel Anthony isn't up for making a video, I'm still available on those days…if you ever wanted to…talk, or whatever."

"Yeah. Okay," Edward agreed quietly.

At the time, he had no idea what, exactly, he was agreeing to. He simply wanted to get off the phone, get across town and pick up Anthony's swing set. But a torrential downpour relegated that task to the following weekend.

And two weekends after that, Edward gave in to the gravitational draw toward his mother and invited her to accompany him and Bella as they took Anthony to an indoor play-gym that had just opened up on Main Street.

Esme sat quietly beside Bella as she video-recorded Anthony as he fritted from activity to activity, laughing all the while.

"He doesn't really interact much with the other kids," Edward complained out loud.

"You were like that," Esme responded without taking her eyes off Anthony.

"Yeah." Edward remembered.

"I think it was because you were so intelligent. Other children bored you immensely. You were fine with older children."

Of course she would say something like that. She's his mother.

Edward was still allowing her words to resonate with him when Anthony, sweaty and out of breath from jumping around, ran over to his father and begged for a trip to the bathroom.

"Grab your shoes," Bella said as she sauntered over. She looked squeamish at the thought of Anthony going into a public bathroom in his socked feet.

While Anthony was wrestling with his shoes, Esme reached into her purse and pulled out a piece of candy, which she quickly offered to Anthony. He glanced at Edward for permission before he accepted it.

"What do you say?" Edward asked to showcase his son's manners.

"Thank you," Anthony recited.

Esme reached out and ruffled Anthony's hair as Edward led him away toward the restrooms. The noise of the indoor arena began to grow mute as Edward and Anthony put distance between themselves and the other kids.

"Your friend's nice," Anthony said as he unwrapped the candy from its wrapper and popped it in his mouth.

"Yeah," Edward agreed. So far he'd seen nothing to the contrary.

"What's her name? She never told me."

"Uh…Esme."

"Esme?"

Edward looked down into Anthony's speculative eyes and he saw himself reflected in the innocent inquisitiveness. Suddenly it became unclear to Edward why he was hiding certain things from his son – his automatic ally.

"I call her Esme now, but I used to call her Mom," Edward tested. And then, because Anthony was only five years old, he clarified, "She's my mom."

"Why come you don't call her mom?" Anthony asked. "She's not your born mom?"

"My what?" Edward almost chuckled at the odd sound of the phrase Anthony used. "What's a _born mom_?"

"The mom you had when you were born," Anthony explained. "Jimmy, in my class, has a born mom and a married mom. He lives with his born mom and his married mom comed to the pumpkin patch with us." Anthony summed up his conversation just as he reached the child-sized urinal in the men's room.

Edward mulled over his son's words and realized how simply Anthony saw everything, and if Edward would just listen to him more often, how simple it would be to stop complicating and over-analyzing things.

"So, would Bella be your married mom after the wedding?" Edward picked up the conversation where it left off when Anthony walked over to the sink to wash his hands.

Anthony shrugged. "I don't know. I think you can only have a married mom if you have a born mom. And I don't have a born mom anymore."

"Anthony, your…born mom will always be your mom. Even if she's in heaven, you'll always have a part of her with you. That doesn't go away," Edward assured him.

"Oh." So simple.

And even simpler still, as soon as they were back at the bench where Bella and Esme sat deep in discussion, Anthony walked over to Bella, removed his shoes, handed them to her and asked:

"Do you want to be my married mom?"

Apparently the term wasn't unknown to Bella, as it had been to Edward, because the tears that immediately sprang to her eyes and the smile that lit up her face revealed that she knew exactly what Anthony was asking her.

"Nothing would make me happier than being your married mom, Anthony," she said as she hugged him tightly.

Anthony giggled and wriggled away from her. The jump house and ball pit were calling out to him and he couldn't wait to get back to playing. But as he ran away, he tossed over his shoulder, "But I'll just call you mom."

Edward looked over at Bella and winked, and then his eyes travelled to Esme, who was looking at Anthony with a reverent smile on her face. He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked away, wondering if things between them would ever be as simple.


	37. Chapter 37 I Knew You Were Waiting for M

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 37 – I Knew You Were Waiting for Me**

The first snow in the new house came and went with Anthony and Edward's massive snowman decorating the front lawn for weeks.

Another staple at the Cullen-Swan home came with less fanfare or declaration. It started off slowly; tentatively. Esme would appear briefly on a Wednesday or Saturday afternoon, stopping in on her way to the store to drop off a trinket or two that she'd collected for Anthony. Or she'd see an article or recipe that reminded her of a conversation she'd had with Bella and she'd drop it by, sure that Bella would be most interested in having such an item.

And then, one rainy Saturday, Edward extended an invitation for Esme to stay for lunch, which she readily accepted. Just like that, it became a standing invitation for every Saturday thereafter, and unless Edward and Bella had plans that took them away, Esme was at their house, rain or shine, sleet or hail.

It was a particularly wet day in mid-February, while Edward was away working a rare overtime shift, that Bella was taking a brief break from wedding planning to look over the upcoming lessons she'd planned for her kindergarten class. Esme and Anthony sat at the dining room table a few feet from her, playing a game of Chutes and Ladders. Anthony's bleats of victory seeped through the edges of Bella's consciousness as she rethought an upcoming section she'd be teaching on family history.

She could clearly see the tree diagram as if it were displayed before her. The children were to write their names on a branch and then continue to draw and associate various family members: dad, mom, sister, brother, etc.

It wasn't really the issue of putting Anthony in the position of choosing whom he would define as mom, Jessica or herself, which had Bella second-guessing her teaching – it was the family association that identified Esme, his father's mother, as Anthony's grandmother.

Enough time had passed for Anthony to have grown accustomed to referring to Esme as "Mis-mey", a family friend. Even though Edward had once said that Esme was his mother, he never addressed her as such, nor did anyone else. Bella wondered what it would do to the level of trust Anthony had for her and Edward if he were to suddenly put two and two together and realize that it was his grandmother he had been having so much fun with on all those Saturday afternoons.

"Oh, how beautiful." Esme came up beside Bella, undetected, and noticed the photos of the decorative lanterns Bella wanted to get for the wedding in June.

"They're practical, too," Bella quickly stated. "Since we're having the wedding _and_ the reception in the backyard, the aroma of the mint and lavender will keep flies away."

"Beautiful _and_ smart."

Esme reached over and tucked a strand of Bella's hair behind her ear and it was then that Bella realized the comment had been meant for her and not the lanterns.

"Thank you, Esme," Bella whispered.

Esme didn't allow the silence between them to become awkward. Instead, she smoothed out her skirt and took a seat beside Bella at the small kitchen table. A few minutes before, she'd set Anthony free with a dull pair of scissors and an old magazine and instructed him to cut out every single animal he found, with the promise of assembling a zoo when he was done.

"If that works, I'm going to try it as a rainy day activity center in my class," Bella said as she glanced over her shoulder at Anthony.

"Oh it works," Esme assured. "Edward used to sit for hours when he was little, cutting up my old magazines. Of course, he only cut out all the cars, truck and tractors, but it kept him busy."

Bella looked down at the table awkwardly as she allowed Esme's words to drift over her. It was so refreshing to get a glimpse of an unbroken Edward, and as long as she kept her eyes on the grain of the table before her, she could see him so vividly. But she knew the moment she lifted her eyes to Esme's, she'd be reminded of the tumult that colored the edges of her eyes, as it did those of her son.

"I'm sorry. Did I say something wrong?" Esme misinterpreted Bella's lack of eye contact.

"No," Bella rushed in. "No, of course not." She shook her head to emphasize her words. "It's just…rare to hear of Edward that way. He doesn't talk about his childhood a lot."

Esme offered a wilted smile. "I'm hoping one day he'll fill in the gaps for me as well, but I can tell he isn't ready for that. And I can also tell that he's not quite ready for me to fill in any gaps for him either."

Bella gazed at Esme then, and allowed herself to see her apart from the filter Edward had provided.

She caught a foretaste of a woman who loved and wasn't loved in return; a mother who nurtured an empty nest long before it was due and wife married to the mere memory of her husband.

"Are…are _you_ ready to fill in those gaps?" Bella treaded.

Esme started to respond but then hesitated as she mulled over her answer.

"I think I understand what you're asking and to be completely honest," Esme paused to offer a soft chuckle, "I'd have to say I'll be ready as soon as Edward is."

When Bella frowned in confusion, Esme continued.

"I need to feel comfortable with how Edward sees me before I feel confident telling him some of the details of what his father and I went though…well what _I_ went through, since I don't really know most of Carlisle's thoughts. But things like his sister's funeral – where she's buried; that kind of thing."

So badly Bella wanted to ask about the state of Esme's relationship with her husband, but she didn't, knowing that it could be construed as rude.

However, she also didn't want to be a go-between between Edward's past and present. Even though they hadn't discussed it, Bella felt that it would be unfair to Edward if she caught his mother up on his life – unfair to both Esme and Edward – because the discovery would be a healing process for both of them, and they deserved to have it completely and exclusively.

When it got quiet again between them, Bella wondered if Esme was thinking the opposite of what she was feeling, hoping that Bella would begin to dispel Edward's nuances. Yet when she cautiously glanced to her left, she saw that Esme was sternly focused on a few swatches of ribbon samples.

"I remember when I was planning my wedding," Esme sighed wistfully. "It was a happy, but stressful time."

Bella concurred immediately. "Why _is_ it so stressful?" she asked harmoniously. "Edward and I are on the same page, we both want something small, and the details seem to be falling into place, but still, I'm anxious over it."

"It's just your mind's way of telling you what your heart already knows, I guess. Finding _the one_ is a really big deal," Esme smiled.

"Did you have a big wedding?" Bella asked.

Esme nodded. "Oh yes. Carlisle's mother was sick, a condition she utilized to get every living wish she had until her dying day, and she wanted him to have a huge, church wedding. So we did. It was a monstrous fuss, but at the end of the day, I have to admit that it was one of the best weddings I've ever been to."

"Traditional?"

"Very. Vows, dress, veil, no seeing the groom for twenty-four hours beforehand- you name it, we did it."

"See, I think I'd be a nervous wreck if I couldn't see Edward right before the wedding. My mind would go nuts with all kinds of 'what-ifs'. I'm already nervous enough as it is."

"What's got you worried?" Esme asked easily.

And easy enough, the answer came.

"I think about all kinds of things," Bella confessed. "If Anthony will be okay with our marriage when he's old enough to understand what's happened. If our lives will change after the wedding. If _we'll_ change after the wedding."

"But you know if you waste time worrying about the things you can't control, you miss out on experiencing the joy of the here and now." Esme looked over at Anthony, still busily snipping out animals, as if to emphasize her point.

"I do know that, but it doesn't stop me from thinking about things. And this past week, the school secretary told me she's getting a divorce. I used to hear her talk about her husband; they seemed so in love. And now…it just scares me a little. I mean, I can't imagine ever wanting to be without Edward." Bella turned to Esme, sure that she would see agreement in her fiancé's mother's features; but Esme sat motionless beside her.

"I almost divorced Carlisle…twice."

For some unknown reason, Bella was shocked at Esme's revelation.

"Really?" she asked, aghast.

Esme nodded. "Statistics show that most couples who go through the death of a child don't make it. They either turn on each other or turn in, internally by withdrawing into themselves. Well, Carlisle withdrew into himself.

"Initially, I didn't know what was wrong with him. All I knew was that my husband, my rock, was not there to help me when I most needed him. I had no one else to turn to and he'd completely shut me out. I was so angry because I thought that he blamed me. So I left." Esme stopped to take a sip of the coffee that Bella had set before her.

"What made you come back?" Bella asked.

"Of course I loved Carlisle and I was just hurt because I felt like he was rejecting me, so it was just a matter of time before a reason, or excuse rather, sent me right back to him. That excuse came in the form of a court date and I needed my tan suit. When I returned home to retrieve it, Carlisle was sitting on the floor in front of the door, wearing the same thing he'd been wearing the day I'd left. He didn't say anything to me when I walked back through the door. He just looked up at me with this fear in his eyes…it was the same fear I saw in Edward's eyes when he was taken away from us…" Unexpected tears halted Esme's speech, but she shook her head against the comfort that Bella hastened to offer her.

"I'm fine," she insisted before continuing on. "I realized then how much we needed each other and then a little bit after that, one of the court-appointed attorneys suggested that Carlisle be tested for mental instability. And of course when it was deemed that he was, unstable, that is, I couldn't dare leave him. You should see the lack of care people receive when they're completely dependent upon the system." Esme shuddered to emphasize her point.

"What was the other time?" Bella felt bolder in her questions, since Esme had initially brought up her desire to seek a divorce on more than one occasion.

Esme let out a small giggle. "We were newly married and had moved into a small apartment near the hospital where Carlisle was finishing his residency. Anyway, the place was a real dump and the owner said we could make any changes we wanted. So we wallpapered." Esme turned toward Bella with a serious expression on her face. "If I can give you no other advice, this is it: _never_ wallpaper with your husband. I'm sure it's the number one cause of divorce in this country."

The two women shared a hearty laugh over the commandment and while Esme stole a glance at her watch, Bella looked up to notice a flash of bronze as a figure disappeared down the hallway.

She hadn't heard Edward enter through the front door, nor had Anthony sounded his usual alarm of a greeting. When Bella looked over at Anthony, she saw the reason for his silence: he was fast asleep on the living room floor amidst a myriad of magazines.

Bella took note of Esme but she seemed none the wiser that her son had slipped indoors, and Edward's stealthy entrance hinted that he'd heard a tidbit of his mother's words and that he was trying to put as much distance between himself and the vivid memory she'd painted.

Or perhaps he'd had a particularly sullying experience at work. In any case, Bella wanted to make certain that Edward greeted his mother before she left, and by the looks of her fidgeting, it looked as if that was going to occur at any second.

"Can you excuse me for a minute? I know you have to go, so I'll be right back."

Bella disappeared into the back and found Edward sitting in the middle of their bed, his hands clasped limply between his knees and his head leaning down to meet them.

"Babe?" Bella ran her hand over his neck and shoulders.

"I just need a minute, Bella, okay?" he asked hoarsely.

"Alright," Bella said acceptingly. She hesitated at the door and reminded Edward that his mother was in the kitchen and that she would be leaving soon. "Are you going to come out and say hello?"

"Tell her…I'll call her later in the week."

That was new. Edward was not one to offer to call anyone, let alone his mother, for a social chat. However, Bella thought it was the least he could do, so she offered no further comment least he realize what he'd said and retract what he'd put forward.

When Bella returned to the kitchen, Esme had moved toward the front door, and when she saw Bella, she pointed over at the sleeping Anthony with a loving compassion.

"Tell him I said to save the animals and we'll build the zoo the next time I visit."

"Will do," Bella smiled. She was about to give Edward's promise to her when Esme took a step out of the front door and spied Edward's car. She turned toward Bella with a confused look on her face; and if Bella's wisdom didn't defy her, there was a shimmer of hurt there as well.

"Edward's home?" Esme asked.

"He said he'd call you later this week," Bella said quickly. "I think he had a rough day at work." Bella was almost 99.9% sure that Edward's self-imposed isolation had nothing to do with work, but in that moment, Bella clung to the 0.01% of uncertainty that kept her conscience clear.

"He did?"

Bella saw the instant effect of her words reflected in Esme's eyes.

"Yes. Is there a certain time he should call?"

"Anytime. He can call me anytime, day or night," Esme said quickly and Bella could tell that she meant it.

After the news of Edward's intended phone call, it was easy to say good afternoon to Esme before dashing back inside to find out what was really wrong with Edward. Bella suspected that he'd overheard a portion of her conversation and it had made him uneasy, but when she asked him about it, he evaded the question by asking after Anthony.

"How long has he been asleep?" Edward moved toward the sleeping child and picked him up. His attempt to awaken him was obvious. "If he naps now, he'll never want to go to bed tonight."

A cranky and whiny Anthony was the result of his abrupt wakeup call, and Edward made it his duty to lift his son's spirits and keep him entertained for the rest of the evening. It might have just been a coincidence or he knew that Bella wouldn't try to get him to open up about what he might be thinking about in front of Anthony.

But right before dinner, when Anthony went off to the bathroom to wash his hands and Edward came in to sample the promising aroma, Bella questioned him again. Edward shook it off, and this time, a concern about the gutter at the back of the house was more important to discuss than what was wrong with Edward when he'd come home from work.

Clearly Edward didn't want to talk about it, and one too many conversations had been had about the way he shut her out when he felt the need. It was who Edward was, and he'd come a long way thus far, but it was times like the present that illustrated how far he had yet to go.

Bella didn't broach the issue again that evening, not because she knew the outcome would be similar, but because Edward's evasiveness was wearing on her, and just like Esme earlier that day, she felt a little sting of hurt.

"Mom, can I get out of the tub now?" Anthony called to Bella when he heard her walking down the hall. It wasn't all the time that Anthony called Bella 'Mom', but it was happening more and more frequently, and unless they were in the classroom, she welcomed every instance.

"Are you squeaky clean?" Bella asked.

"Yeah."

"Your toes, your nose and your elbows?"

Anthony giggled. "Yeah!"

"Okay, then you may let the water out and get out." Bella held open a large fluffy towel and Anthony stepped into its warmth.

After quickly helping Anthony with his pajamas and turning down his bed, Bella sent him off to say goodnight to his father, who had seemingly evaporated into thin air.

Anthony was only gone for two beats before he returned and catapulted himself into bed, not yet having grown weary of seeing his room illuminated with the plethora of glow-in-the-dark stars when Bella turned off the light.

"That was quick. Did you tell Dad goodnight?"

"Twice, because he didn't hear me the first time. He's just sitting in the garage staring at the wall," Anthony shrugged as Bella pulled the covers snuggly over Anthony.

Bella pretended to pout. "No fair! He got _two_ goodnights and I only got one? How ever will I get through the night?"

Anthony laughed and held his arms up to Bella so he could hug her neck. When she leaned down, he also planted a kiss on her cheek and she did the same for him.

"I love you," she told him.

"Why?"

Bella was taken aback by the question, as she hadn't been expecting it.

"Why do I love you?" she reiterated.

Anthony nodded.

"Why, how could I not?" Bella did a poor impression of a Southern Belle. "To know you, one can't help but love you, Anthony Cullen."

But Bella's playful air did nothing to satisfy Anthony's curiosity, and so she smoothed his hair over his forehead and prepared to set his mind at ease in earnest.

"I love you, because your smile lights up my entire day," Bella began. "I love you because your hugs are the best in the world. I love you because your laugh is like a thousand rainbows. I love you because you always color my hair perfectly in your pictures-"

"I use my dark red and brown crayons because in the sun, sometimes your hair has red in it," Anthony interjected.

"Another reason I love you – you're so smart," Bella tapped the tip of his nose. "But mostly, I love you just because it would be impossible not to. You are a pretty wonderful person, Anthony."

And the resulting grin confirmed that she had answered his question to his satisfaction.

"Light out?" Bella asked as her hand hovered over the switch; but instead of answer her, Anthony had another question.

"Mom?"

"Yeah, lovebug?"

"How come Dad never says 'I love you' to me?"

For the second time that night, Bella was caught off guard. Her shoulders sank as she stared down at the carpet, wondering how, for the life of her, she'd do justice to that answer.

And then she heard a mattress shift and caught sight of a shadow moving in the bedroom down the wall. She knew that if _she_ could hear the subtle sounds, then Edward could surely hear what was going on in Anthony's room as well.

And therefore he would know what it was up to him to do. But just in case he didn't…

"You know what, Anthony? That's a good question. I think you should ask your dad that the next time you see him."

However, if Edward had heard the exchange, he didn't let on that he had when Bella crossed through their room on her way to the shower. At the sight of him, Bella realized that she was pretty perturbed with Edward, and if he'd said the wrong word to her right then, they would quarrel most assuredly.

And so she locked herself in the bathroom and willed the steam of the hot water to take her troubled thoughts and hurt feelings with it as it circled and rolled heavenward.

Admittedly, she felt somewhat better at the end of her shower, but she still climbed into bed without a word to Edward and with her back turned toward him. She was sure he'd gotten the hint, so when he draped his arm over her waist and tugged her body closer to his, she was just a tad bit surprised.

"Tired?" he murmured before placing a soft kiss against her bare shoulder.

"Mm." Bella's mumble was unanswering.

Edward pressed his pelvis flush against Bella's backside and allowed the definition of his hardness to be a predecessor to his verbal request.

"Do you want to make love?" he whispered in his normal voice.

Bella, whose eyes had been shut tight, was suddenly staring at the window across the room in an attempt to reign in her emotions.

"Did you check the oil in the truck?" she asked.

"What?"

"The oil. In the truck. Did you check it?"

"Uh…yeah. Last week, why? Is something wrong with it?"

"No. I just wondered if you remembered to check it."

"Oh…Yeah, I did."

And then Edward was back to his earlier motivation – rubbing his hands along Bella's hips and thighs while peppering the back of her neck with kisses and soft nips of his teeth.

"So…you wanna?"

"Did you remember to go to the bank today?"

"What's going on?" Edward sat up and asked sharply. His all-too-disapproving tone let Bella know that he didn't appreciate having his advances thwarted.

"What? You mean having your questions totally ignored?" Bella craned her neck to look at him. "It's kind of annoying, isn't it?"

Bella resumed her earlier position and listened as Edward turned to lay flat on his back – a long, exaggerated sigh punctuating his movement.

"I don't always want to talk about things. You know that," he said gruffly.

"Yes, I do. And just like I acknowledge that about you, I would like _you _to acknowledge _me_ when I ask you a question. It wouldn't kill you to simply say, 'I don't want to talk about it'."

Edward let out a disingenuous laugh into the darkness. "You know you wouldn't be okay with that."

"I would too."

"You would not. You'd try to get me to talk about it and then you'd be pissed off until I did."

"No, I wouldn't."

"Fine. I don't want to talk about it."

"You don't want to talk about _what_ exactly? The fact that your mother was here when you got home, or the fact that…maybe you heard some of what she said?"

"Bella, I said I don't want to talk about it."

"Fine."

Bella punched her pillow – partly because it was too lopsided and partly because she was a tiny bit pissed off.

"You're mad."

"I am _not_ mad."

"You don't think I can tell when you're mad?"

"Apparently not, because I'm not."

"Fine. Let's have sex."

"I'm tired."

Edward muttered a string of profanities under his breath before he mimicked Bella's position and turned his back to her.

The nagging feeling that settled over Bella was one she couldn't quite reconcile. It was true that she knew how Edward was, and that Rome wasn't built in a day…but it was also true that he'd learned to trust her with some pretty big things, and in a very short period of time – like Anthony, for instance. So why did he have such a hard time trusting her to be on his side and allowing her to be his confidant?

She lay still a few more seconds, listening to the sound of Edward's breathing, before she tossed back the covers and went into the kitchen for a cup of tea.

She had dunked the tea bag enough times to color her tea darkly and had added the appropriate amount of sugar by the time she heard Edward trudge into the living room and flick on the TV. The haphazard way he soared through the channels was a dead giveaway that he was only up because she was. When she looked over the rim of her mug at him, the dimly lit room revealed that he was looking at her, too.

"Okay, fine! You're right. I am mad," she finally admitted.

Edward scoffed in her direction, as if to state, 'I told you so', before returning his attention back to the television set. Bella thought that was the end of it, until suddenly the television fell silent and Edward walked into the kitchen and stood in front of her.

"This isn't about you," Edward said evenly.

"I'm not trying to make this about me," Bella argued. "But I'm going to be your wife, Edward. We're going to be a team. When are you going to realize that I'm on your side?"

"I know you're on my side."

"It doesn't seem like it."

"Bella, you know me better than anyone on this planet. You _know_ that."

"I also know that for you to confide in me, we have to argue, then you blow up, tell me what's on your mind, and then you feel better. It always happens that way. Why can't we skip the arguing, nix your blowup and just get to the part where we talk and you feel better?"

Edward plopped down in the chair across from Bella and raked his fingers through his hair anxiously.

"I'm not ready to deal yet, Bella, okay? When we talk about things, I have to _deal_ with them and I'm not ready to do that right now. I love you and it's not about you and me, okay? Just…trust me. This is how I work."

Bella felt the grasp anger held upon her release at Edward's words.

"Okay," she said quietly.

Edward reached across the table and took her hand.

"I'm not shutting you out," he insisted. "I'm just…processing."

Bella nodded and allowed Edward to lead her back to bed. As she waited for sleep to eclipse her, her thoughts moved to Esme, and how, in a small house not so far away, she was dealing with Edward's father – a man who had been quietly "processing", in his own way, for over a decade.

Bella's final ponderings before slumber took her were wonderings of how long she would have to wait for Edward and a concrete knowledge that she would do so for however long it took.

The dark of night faded into light, and as always, things looked less dire in the morning light; Bella rose to greet her Sunday morning with a not-so-heavy-heart.

Anthony was already seated at the kitchen table when she went in to pour her first cup of coffee, and he had done his best to set the table for her and his father: cereal was on the menu.

"Well, look at you," Bella celebrated his efforts. "That was very thoughtful of you, Anthony."

"I didn't know what kind of cereal you wanted so I got my kind and your kind," Anthony pointed at the two varieties he had to offer. Bella pretended to vacillate between the spoon-size shredded wheat and the Capt'n Crunch before settling on "her kind". Edward came lazily sauntering into the kitchen soon after and he made no hesitation of grabbing the box with the cartoon pirate and pouring himself a hearty bowl.

"We're having the same, Dad," Anthony said as he swung his spoon happily.

"We are," Edward answered, the sluggishness of waking up cloaking his enthusiasm.

"Do you like it?"

"Mm-hm."

"What about me?"

Suddenly Bella realized where Anthony was headed with his question and she looked over at Edward swiftly, praying that he wouldn't misunderstand the importance of the moment in his sleepy haze.

Edward was gazing out the window nearest the table and Bella watched as Anthony's expectant eyes began to drift downward in disappointment of being ignored.

Bella nudged Edward underneath the table.

"Huh? What?" Edward looked over at Bella and then Anthony. "What?"

"Do you like me?" Anthony repeated.

"Of course I like you. You're my right-hand man," Edward said, holding his fist up for Anthony to bump with his own.

Bella knew what was coming, and she kept her eyes on Edward for the duration.

"Do you love me?" Anthony asked.

Edward lowered his unencountered fist and raised his eyebrows at the question. "Of course. Of course I do."

"Because you never say it."

"I don't?" Edward frowned as if this information was news to him.

Anthony shook his head and Bella got extremely nervous as she tried to think of a way to signal Edward that this was very important to Anthony and that he couldn't make light of it.

But Edward had it all under control.

"When I ruffle my hands through your hair and tickle your tummy, I don't say I love you?" Edward asked.

"No," Anthony answered.

"Huh. I thought I did," Edward sat stumped. "Well, what about when I tuck you in at night and give you a hug and a kiss?"

"No."

"When I take you for ice cream?"

"No."

"To the park?"

"No."

"When I give you a treat just because?"

"No." Anthony was now finding humor in Edward's questions, and his monosyllabic answers were punctuated by light laughter.

"When I stay in your bed with you after you've had a bad dream?"

"Uh-uh."

"When I don't freak out when you wipe your snotty nose on my shirt when you have a cold?"

Anthony laughed conspiratorially. "No."

"How about when I let you watch cartoons even though CSI is on?"

Anthony faltered for a moment, not understanding what CSI was, before shaking his head. "Nope."

"How about when I go to work so that I can make sure you have everything you need, and a bit of what you want, to keep you safe, fed and happy?"

"No."

"Well you know what?"

"What?"

"I am doing all of those things because I love you. So even if I don't say it, I hope that I'm showing you." Edward made a point of putting his spoon down and waiting until Anthony was looking him in the eye before stating clearly, "I love you."

"I love you, too," Anthony giggled. "And you forgot to say when you play the train with me and when we work in the garage."

"I love you when we play with the train and when we work out in the garage," Edward repeated dutifully.

Bella noted how animated and alive Anthony became after Edward said his piece, and she waited until Anthony left the table to tell Edward how proud she was of him.

"I waited too long to tell him," Edward berated himself.

"He told you when he needed you to say it, Edward. He's fine," Bella encouraged. "And I have to say, either you're really good off the cuff, or you've been practicing."

Edward grinned a little before answering. "I heard him ask you last night and I heard you tell him to ask me. I knew it was coming."

"You're an ace eavesdropper," Bella said. Her words hinted at something else and she knew that Edward knew exactly what that _something else_ was when his body language became stiff and unyielding. As if to further reiterate what she meant, she reminded him, "Remember that you said you'd call your mother this week."

"I know," Edward said as he pushed his chair back and stood up to leave the table. In other words, he was still "processing" and he didn't want to discuss it.

So Bella let him be.

She didn't make mention of the phone call over the course of the next few days, even though she was tempted to remind him that Esme had free time on Wednesday and that she might appreciate a quick hello. She also didn't say anything as the weekend neared, though she wondered if Edward's lack of communication would translate into a rescinded invitation, and if Esme would then refrain from visiting on Saturday afternoon as she'd grown accustomed to doing.

It is quite possible that this was the case, because Edward _didn't_ call and Esme _didn't _show up for lunch on Saturday afternoon.

"Where's Mis-mey?" Anthony asked as he twirled the large construction paper "family tree" that he'd made earlier in the week in class.

Bella had solved her earlier dilemma of whom Anthony would define as "mom" by not allowing it to be an issue. Instead, she presented her entire class with the opportunity to place more than one mother or father on their tree if they felt so led. Anthony had drawn a picture of Jessica in the box for 'mother' and then in a square he'd added next to it, he drew another picture with Bella's name etched underneath. It had warmed her heart immensely to see his interpretation, and her eyes had started to brim with tears of appreciation, until she saw what Anthony had done on the left side of his paper.

In the area reserved for the paternal side of his family, Anthony had drawn a picture of Edward over the word 'father' and then directly above it, for 'Grandmother – father's mother', Anthony had drawn a picture of Esme, which he'd titled in large, black Crayon letters: _"Mismey". _

So Anthony had put two-and-two together on his own, a fact that Bella had not yet pointed out to Edward, for fear that he would misinterpret her words as a meddlesome reminder that he still hadn't yet kept his word and called his mother.

If Edward had an answer for Anthony's question about Esme's whereabouts, he wasn't quick to offer it. Instead, he said nothing more than offer a shrug before returning to the project he'd started that morning: putting together a model space shuttle for Anthony.

While the project occupied Edward, Bella picked up the house and firmed up a few wedding details, talked to her mother for an hour and then called David so that Anthony could have a chat with his grandfather. The family tree project had made Anthony yearn for David and he'd asked to talk to him every day since.

And once David had Anthony on the phone, his elder told him that Edward had promised to bring Anthony for a visit that very month so they'd be together very soon.

"I wish he hadn't told him that," Edward complained later that night. "Now Anthony is going to ask me about it every second until we go."

"I think that was David's plan," Bella smiled. "He wants to make sure that you're going to do what you said you would. It's obvious that it's important to him and he wants to make sure you keep your word."

When Edward didn't respond, Bella looked up from the book in her lap to see that he eyed her with a look of exasperation on his face.

"What?" she asked. _What had she said that had irked him?_

"Nothing," Edward said as he leaned out of the bed to retrieve the sleep pants that he'd discarded on the floor. He put them on and made a move for the door.

"Edward, what's up?" Bella asked. _Was he angry at her for making simple conversation?_

"Nothing," he said in his usual tone. "I'm just not that tired. I'm going to stay up and watch a little TV or something."

"Did you want me to stay up with you?" Bella offered.

"Nah. That's okay. You have your book," Edward gestured to her trade paperback.

He was acting a little distant, but Bella shrugged it off and settled down between her blankets with her book. She was actually quite pleased that Edward hadn't requested her presence with him in the living room, because she had just gotten to a really great chapter and she wanted to finish it before she went to sleep that night.

However, half an hour later, the heroine in Bella's tale was taking longer than expected to remedy a fateful situation and Bella's eyes were getting droopy with the task of wading through the words of her efforts. With resignation, Bella put the book on her nightstand, double-checked her alarm and turned off her light. She was almost completely asleep when Edward got into bed with her.

"Bella?" he whispered.

"Hmmm?" she managed.

"I called my mom."

"Mmhm."

"I…I did overhear what you guys were talking about last Saturday, but something she said really pissed me off and I didn't want to face her until I could get over it. But I didn't get over it, so when I called her tonight, I asked her about it. Turns out, I'd completely misunderstood what she'd said." Edward wrestled with his thoughts in the darkness for a few minutes. "Bella…I'm gonna go see her tomorrow after work. We're gonna talk…._really_ talk."

But Bella didn't have the luxury of hearing Edward's revelation, as she'd fallen fast asleep only moments before.


	38. Chapter 38 Love is a Battlefield

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 38 – ****Love is a Battlefield**

Edward stood over a slumbering Bella as he prepared to leave for work the next morning and, knowing his action would wake her up, he leaned down and whispered in her ear.

"Bye, Babe. I'll see you later tonight, okay?"

"Hmm," Bella mumbled.

Edward held still a moment before kissing her on the forehead and then speaking again. "Remember, I'll be home late."

"Mmmhmm," returned Bella.

He waited another few seconds and then watched as Bella's eyes fluttered open and she sat up to face him.

"You'll be home late?"

"Right. I told you last night that I'm going to my mom's for a little bit."

Bella squinted up at him. "You did?"

"Yeah…you might have been asleep, but I called her last night and we talked for a bit. We're going to get together when I get off work and…talk."

"_Talk_ talk?"

"Yeah."

Edward kept his eyes on Bella, searching for an expression for how she felt about the decision he'd come to on his own.

"Wow," she merely said in a low tone.

"Yeah," Edward repeated. He glanced over at the clock and saw that he needed to get going or he was going to be late for work. He moved toward the door and then stopped; his back still to Bella.

"Uh…afterward…maybe you and I could talk?"

"_Talk_ talk?"

"Talk, talk," Edward affirmed. He knew it was what Bella had been wanting, and up until that moment he didn't feel ready to hear his own thoughts and feelings reverberate in his ears as he spoke the truth. But after speaking with Esme the night before, he realized that she'd made an unfathomable peace with the past and he was beyond curious to know how she had done it. More importantly, he was intrigued to know how she'd managed to remain whole while he and his father still wore the scars of their damage.

"I still have scars. Trust me," Esme said later that evening when Edward told her of his analogy. "I just use very potent medication." Then, when she saw the misunderstanding on Edward's face, she quickly added, "Oh, not like that. I meant counseling. Therapy."

Edward looked down at the table between them, embarrassed that the commitment he'd made to getting help for himself had fallen low on his priority list.

"How long?" he asked as he studied his fingers.

"How long are my sessions?"

"How long have you been going to therapy?" Edward clarified.

"Oh," Esme paused to calculate the time. "Well, gosh. I guess it's been over ten years now. Wow…it doesn't seem like it's been that long."

"Ten years?" Edward was mortified at the idea of Anthony continuing counseling well past his next birthday.

Esme nodded. "I know what you're thinking, and it's different for me. Without therapy, I'd be alone in my circumstances, with no remedy or explanation for the issues I face. Therapy gives me the strength to keep going. And it doesn't even feel like therapy anymore. It's more like having tea with a good friend."

Edward nodded in comprehension, even though his thoughts had moved beyond his mother's words and were turned introspectively toward his own needs. Intuitively, as only a mother would, Esme reached across the table, nervously touched Edward's hand and then told him his thoughts as if they had originated in her own mind.

"Therapy is uncomfortable for you." She didn't need to pose her statement as a question, for Edward's unease was written clearly all over his face.

"It's not uncomfortable. It's just…" There was no way to complete his sentence without being offensive to his family history.

"Our situation is so fucked up it's embarrassing, right?"

Edward couldn't hide his astonishment at his mother's language and when he looked up to confirm that such a crass word had fallen from the lips of the prim and poised woman before him, he couldn't contain his laughter. Esme laughed as well and the air of tension between them dissipated a little more.

"We were so close once, Edward. You told me all your secrets and I remember hoping that would never change, even though I knew it had to if I wanted you to grow into the man I hoped you'd become. You used to laugh at all my jokes and even when we had a disagreement, you'd kiss me and hug me and tell me you loved me. Even though I never thought about losing that at the time, I'm so glad I never took those moments for granted.

"In a life filled with so many regrets, it is my greatest joy that every minute I spent with you was the richest of my existence. But I thought I'd see you through every day… I missed you _so_ much," Esme whispered earnestly. It wasn't the first time that she'd told him this, but it was the first time she'd spoken it without finality. It was an intro, and she was inviting him to fill in the gaps of his life in her memories.

And in a matter of minutes, they were both taken from laughter to tears as Edward put a voice to the hardest year of his life.

"I thought she was okay. I thought she was going to go to the hospital and dad would fix her up and then she'd tell everyone what really happened that day. She'd say that she heard Jimmy complaining about how big my gun was and how he'd gotten his dad's from the top of his parents' closet and how I couldn't work it and so Jimmy had to…" Edward closed his eyes as the vision of horror became too real. "I thought that any minute you would come get me out of that holding cell, because that's what you told me you would do and I didn't have any reason not to believe you."

A sob escaped Esme as she watched her son struggle with the way she'd disappointed him so many years ago.

"I thought," she began the same way he had, "that I would be coming to get you. All my life I'd been taught that as long as I was a good person, told the truth and lived honestly, life would treat me the same way. So that's what I expected. I expected that you'd tell your story, I'd tell mine, your dad would tell his story and then we'd all go home together and pick up the pieces of our life together.

"I didn't expect that Jimmy's parents would hire that hot-shot attorney out of L.A., who turned the tables on your father and me. Suddenly we were the criminals and were staring down the barrel of a murder charge." Esme shook her head and waved away the memory. "Not that I blame them. If the tables had been turned, I would have done everything I could have to absolve my son…my baby boy."

The back of Edward's neck warmed slightly at his mother's sentiment. He cleared his throat and began down the course of a conversation he'd been too embarrassed to have with another living soul.

He told her about being moved to Oregon. About living with a young couple who'd made a business of taking in foster youth and how he'd had to share a room with a fourteen-year-old who'd constantly kicked him where it counts when no one was looking in addition to having successfully convinced him that their guardians were trying to keep his parents from finding him. He was told the husband and wife team were jealous because they couldn't have children of their own. Stupidly Edward had believed the lie and took the advice of the young con and ran away from the otherwise nice home.

Edward recalled how he continued to believe the falsehood with each placement, and therefore continued to run away. Each time he was moved to a new foster facility, he found the accommodations were less and less like homes and more like prisons.

"I'm sorry it was so horrible for you," Esme said, openly crying and making no show of hiding it. "You don't have to say anything about it today, but one day, before I die, I'm going to ask for your forgiveness and I hope, by then, that you'll be able to grant me that."

It wasn't an apology that Edward wanted. To accept Esme's words meant that he held her responsible for the horrors that had befallen him. Even though he'd spent years being angry with her for leaving him, for so-called blaming him for his sister's death, he now knew that he had no rational reason to disparage his mother. And even though his fury and contempt for Esme had become a source of security for him in his early adulthood, Edward realized that the hatred he'd held for his mother had quietly dissipated.

"I know it's not your fault," Edward said quietly.

"I'm still sorry, Edward. I was supposed to be your rock, your protector, and I let you down. I _am_ deeply sorry for that."

Esme sensed that her son didn't know what to do with her apology so after allowing it to sink in for a few seconds, she began to ask him a series of questions that she'd been waiting months to ask him.

"You said you didn't go to college, but you graduated from high school, right?"

"Yeah."

"Ever play any sports?"

"Nope."

"Did you go to your prom?"

Edward scoffed at the question and then nodded. He decided against telling his mother about being so drunk that the parking lot was as far as he'd made it.

"Did you have lots of girlfriends?"

Edward shook his head. "It was hard to get to know people. I moved a lot. Anthony's mother was pretty much the longest relationship I had…before Bella."

"I like Bella," Esme smiled and Edward was elated that she hadn't asked more information about Jessica. She was the last person he wanted to spend time talking about.

"I can tell she really loves you."

Edward nodded in agreement. He could tell that Bella loved him as well, though what he'd done to deserve her he'd never know.

"She's great."

"Well I should hope so, seeing as how you're going to marry her," Esme swatted at his arm playfully and he could tell she was trying to lighten the heavy mood surrounding them.

He wanted to alleviate the tension in the air as well, but there was still a topic that had gone untouched and Edward teetered around the edge of it, hoping his mother would take the bait and answer his questions in a round-about manner.

"So…after everything had happened…like, _right_ after…do you remember what everyone was saying to you?" He asked.

Esme was perplexed for a moment. "Well…our attorney was telling us to keep quiet and not to talk to anyone. That ended up being pretty good advice because all of a sudden our phone was ringing off the hook. The doctors at the hospital were calling…your school…your friends around the neighborhood and their parents. It was a nightmare."

Edward bobbed his head as if he'd gotten the answer he was looking for. "But so…like, when it was late at night and it was just you and…you know…just you at home…"

"It wasn't _just me_ at home for a long time, Edward. Your father and I were detained…then released to our attorney, only to be picked up shortly thereafter. The timeline of everything is still a little foggy, but we weren't sitting at home waiting for the court to make up its mind. We got taken into custody quite quickly."

"Oh," Edward looked down at his hands. With his head down, he couldn't see his mother studying him, but when she reached across the table and touched his arm softly, he looked up into eyes that held a small bit of understanding.

"There were a few minutes, in the hospital, when we'd first learned of Claire's death, that your father and I spoke of your innocence and how we would get you exonerated."

"He said that?" Edward asked quickly. "He said that he knew I was innocent?"

Esme had always been a terrible liar and Edward could see it in her eyes almost immediately as she averted her gaze and looked over his head.

"W-Well…I…"

"I knew it," Edward spat out bitterly.

"Now hang on," Esme said. "Your father knew you were innocent, just like I did."

"Then why did you ask me if I'd done it. That day you came to see me in that detention center, you asked me if I'd shot Claire. You didn't just ask me if I'd shot her, you asked me if I'd shot her on purpose. That means that you thought I'd done it." Edward raised his voice as the vivid memory that had haunted him for years came to the forefront of his mind.

"Everything surrounding you – the lawyers, the state services, the case workers, it was all so convoluted because you were a minor. You could only be asked certain questions by certain people and only when certain officials were present. It was prolonging the process and I just wanted to take you home, Edward." Esme tightened her grip on his wrist. "Every word we spoke was recorded, Edward. Nobody told me that, but I knew it. I knew they were listening in and I just wanted them to hear you answer me, because I knew you would tell me the truth, and I wanted them to hear you tell your side of the story when you thought nobody was listening but me."

"A lot of good it did."

"It _did_ do a lot of good, Edward. The records of our conversation were turned over in discovery and the prosecution was able to ask you pointed questions. You never wavered in your story and the judge not only had the court view you as a minor, but you were also found innocent. I don't know if our conversation that day was the sole reason for that, but it certainly didn't hurt."

Edward's stomach grumbled during the stillness and he hoped that his mother didn't hear it. However, her next sentence indicated that she had.

"I'm sorry. I didn't even think about the fact that you were coming from work and that you'd probably be hungry. I haven't gone grocery shopping yet and I—"

Edward looked up to see what had suddenly halted his mother's speech. Her eyes were concentrated behind him and Edward didn't even need to turn around to know who was behind him.

"Well, I'd better get going," Edward made a move to leave.

"Wait, Edward," Esme urged, though she was still looking over his shoulder. "You don't have to be afraid."

"I'm not afraid," Edward said indignantly, even though just knowing who was behind him caused the hair on the back of his neck to stand on end. He was poised for an altercation, yet thoroughly unprepared for it.

"It's all right," Esme insisted as she stood up. She then addressed her husband. "Are you still hungry? Did you need something more?"

The way she questioned him, as if she expected him to answer her in the next instant, made Edward expectant as well and he found his eyes sliding over to the man he'd called 'Dad' in his distant, fading memories.

Esme got up quickly and started rummaging around the cabinets and drawers. Edward noticed that her movements were choppy and calculated, like she was hiding something, and he wondered at what that could be until she opened the refrigerator. Even though she'd only opened the door a sliver, he got a peek at just what the lone bulb was illuminating: a nearly empty half-gallon container of milk, a small six-pack of eggs and two bottles of water.

Not finding what she wanted there, Esme quickly closed the appliance door and moved over to a cabinet that Edward assumed was just as bare. He saw a few colorful boxes before she snatched down an already-opened sleeve of crackers and held them out to her quiet husband.

When there ceased to be movement, Edward cautiously allowed himself to look behind him, and just as Edward knew they would be, Carlisle's eyes were fixed upon him. However, his gaze wasn't one of a man who bore a hint of recognition, nor was it the glare of a threatened man. Instead, his father regarded him as one would look upon an incongruous artifact or ill placed piece of furniture.

"What's he doing?" Edward whispered to Esme.

"He's trying to see if he knows you," Esme answered.

"How do you know?"

"Because it's what he always does when someone besides him and I are present. Then, when he realizes that he's seen you before, he'll move on."

"And if he doesn't remember me?"

Instead of answer the question, Esme turned to her son as if it was completely normal to have a mute interloper among them.

"So, Edward, you never did tell me how work was going. Is it alright?"

Her voice had taken on a higher pitch and Edward quirked his eyebrow at the change. "It's good," he answered nonetheless.

"And how is Anthony, Edward?"

"Fine."

"Last time I was over to your house, Bella was showing me some of the decorations you'd picked out for your wedding. Is Anthony excited that you and Bella are getting married, Edward?"

The overuse of his name tipped Edward off as to what Esme was trying to accomplish, but he feared that it would have the opposite effect.

"Quit doing that. You're gonna make him flip out on me," Edward whispered harshly.

Esme acted as if he didn't say a word.

"Are you and Bella planning to have more children, Edward?"

His irritation was apparent as he cast an icy glower in his mother's direction. _What was she trying to do_? Carlisle had made it plenty clear that he knew of the name 'Edward' and from his past actions, he didn't usually have a positive reaction to it.

"Uh…" he hesitated as he glanced over at Carlisle who was watching him curiously. "M-Maybe…yeah. I think so. Not right away, though," he answered.

"You and Bella will make beautiful babies."

Edward balked at the idea of his mother speaking about him and Bella "making babies". He turned the conversation to a more neutral territory and began asking her a few questions of his own.

"Do you work?" he asked.

Esme shook her head. "I tried once, but it's too difficult to work around your father's care. Plus, it was just too hard – having so many people depend on me that it was kind of more stress than it was worth. I do try to volunteer at the community center during their senior art program, though. Hey, you should sign Anthony up an art class. He told me he loves to draw."

"Maybe," Edward shrugged.

"But you all will be kind of busy with the wedding and everything this summer."

"Yeah."

Edward silently cursed at how difficult it was to have this conversation with his mother. He knew what she'd wanted and what he'd expected when he walked through the door a few hours ago, but he wasn't sure that that's what he'd accomplished.

So much time; so many years he'd wasted being angry and hateful toward this woman before him, that now, when he was presented with such a different story, he didn't know what to do with his emotions.

A sharp crackling interrupted his thoughts as Carlisle fished a cracker out of the stiff, waxy wrapper and held the wafer between his lips as he took a bite of it. He did all of this without taking his eyes off Edward and Edward, too mesmerized by the stoic movements, couldn't look away.

Suddenly Edward was pummeled by memories of his father.

A young, blonde-haired man, laughing as he stood by the barbeque on the deck in the backyard;

A father frustrated by his six-year-old son who had climbed onto the diving board yet refused to jump off;

A sophisticated doctor decked out in a tuxedo with his beautiful wife in a shimmery gold gown standing beside him in the foyer as they welcomed friends to their New Year's Eve party;

A humor-riddled man teaching his ten-year-old how to tie a necktie.

Edward remembered how conscientious his father used to be about the way he dressed. His tie always matched his shirt and his shoes…

Green eyes gazed down and focused on the off-white tennis shoes that laced tightly on Carlisle's feet. Baggy chinos, wrinkled from wear and visually one size too big, swallowed up his father's form and when Edward spied a small hole at the base of Carlisle's polo shirt, his eyes began to water and his throat clenched with emotion.

Even though the most obvious consequences of the trauma Edward and his parents had suffered surrounded him on a near daily basis, it was this little show of how far the family had fallen that tripped Edward over the edge.

He hid his face in his hands and wept as only a son who was unrecognizable to his father could.

"Honey…Sweetheart, it's alright," Esme said soothingly as she softly rubbed Edward's back. Her words brought him no comfort, but he could tell it fed in her the need to do what she'd wished she could have done thirteen years ago.

"I have to go," Edward stood abruptly.

"No. Please. Edward, wait," Esme pleaded.

"I need to get going," Edward said truthfully. Then he took in the sorrowful expression on his mother's face and he could tell that she thought he was walking out for good. "You're still coming over on Saturday, right?"

Hope flickered behind her eyes. "Y-Yes. I'd hoped to."

"Okay. I think Bella had some things with the wedding that she wanted your help with. She wanted you to pick where you wanted to sit or something on the seating chart." He had completely made that up, but it was the only way he could think of to justifiably offer such a late invitation to an event she should have been among the first to be invited to.

"Oh, I can sit wherever," Esme beamed. "I'm just one seat so you can stick me anywhere there's room – as long as I have a good view of the bride and the most handsome groom ever, I'll be happy."

Edward nodded and moved toward the door. As his hand came in contact with the doorknob, he stopped and glanced back at his parents, first his father and then his mother.

"Two seats," he whispered as he stared at his father. "He's invited, too."

Esme didn't bother to hold back her gratitude as she rushed toward her son and nearly tackled him with a hug.

"I love you," she cried into his chest as she held him tightly. "I love you so much."

In a slow, choppy motion, Edward lifted his hand and rested it on his mother's back, between her shoulder blades. He wanted to tell her that he loved her too, but the words wouldn't work and all that he knew for certain was that he was in love with the memory of his perfect mother. Whether or not he could reconcile that person to the one who lay weeping against his chest had yet to be determined.

Instead, he just stood there awkwardly, quietly patting the cottony folds of her sweater until his eyes rose and locked with his father's cautiously curious gawking.

"I have to go," he stated quietly once more, and this time, Esme was less opposed to letting him have his way.

The drive home seemed longer than it actually was, and when Edward pulled into his driveway, he sat quietly for a moment as he tried to rein in his emotions. Once he had successfully pulled himself together, he got out of his car and made the trek inside of his house, where he found Anthony curled up in Bella's lap and the two of them were fast asleep.

He let out a shuddery sigh of relief in knowing that he might not have to recount the last few hours on an empty stomach. However, before dashing into the kitchen for a bite to eat, he carefully maneuvered his son off of Bella before carrying his sleeping son to bed.

Edward managed to get Anthony halfway into bed before the five-year-old opened his eyes and peered at his father.

"Were you at Mis-mey's?" Anthony asked, his words coated with a sleepy overtone.

"Yep," Edward answered.

"Your eyes are red."

Edward preoccupied himself with straightening the blanket over Anthony's torso and smoothing his hair away from his forehead.

"Are you sad?" Anthony pressed.

"I'm tired," Edward avoided the truth.

"I think Mom's sad," Anthony sighed.

Edward stilled at his son's words. _Did 'Mom' mean Jessica or Bella?_

"Bella's sad?" when Anthony nodded, Edward had more questions. "Why do you think she's sad? Was she crying?"

"She talked to someone on the phone and then her eyes were watering, but she told me she was fine."

"Well then I'm sure she is," Edward reassured Anthony. "Get some sleep. You have school in the morning."

Anthony settled into his pillow, more from exhaustion than an obedient spirit, and reminded Edward not to turn off the light. Edward obliged, but he did close the door because although he'd told his son otherwise, he had a sinking suspicion that Bella _wasn't_ alright and he didn't want Anthony to overhear anything that would distress his little heart.

When Edward made it back into the living room he found the room to be empty and heard the sounds of someone moving about the kitchen. He followed the noise and found Bella transferring a plate of food from the microwave to the table.

"Is that for me?" he asked.

She nodded.

"How did you know I'd be hungry?"

Bella glanced down at the food as if it had only just registered that she'd had anything to do with it.

"I don't know," she said quietly.

Edward walked over to her and, assuming that she was feeling a little put out because he'd stayed away from home so long that evening, he simply put his arms around her waist and kissed the top of her head.

"I love you," he told her.

Unexpectedly, Bella wrapped her arms around him in return and held onto him tightly.

And then she started to cry.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Edward asked in alarm.

It took a handful of long seconds for Bella to pull herself together, but when she finally did, her soulful brown eyes looked into Edward's and said the two words that he was completely unprepared to hear:

"David died."

As the weight of the information sank in, Edward felt his knees slightly buckle underneath it. Just two weeks from that day, he and Anthony were supposed to board an airplane to spend David's birthday with him. And now…

"I didn't tell Anthony," Bella sniffed. "I thought that should come from you."

Edward nodded dutifully but he was horrified at the idea of telling his son, a little boy who had lost far too much in his short five-year life, that yet another person he dearly loved was gone. And as he considered the effect the news would have on Anthony, Edward recollected the evening he'd shared with his mother and all of the loss they'd shared as a family. Suddenly he felt an overwhelming sense of despair at the unlucky streak that was once again clouding the life of a Cullen. How early Edward had learned of the frailty of life and how quickly the presence of a loved one could be snuffed out. Now it seemed as if that same lesson was perpetuating its truth in Anthony's life for the third time.

What would be next? In the race against life's clock, how much time did anyone truly have to love? Be loved? To forgive and forget?

"Bella," Edward held her hands firmly. "I don't want to waste another minute."

She looked confused as she listened to what he was saying. "You want to wake Anthony up now and tell him? I don't think he'd be able to sleep after-"

"Bella," he interrupted, "marry me. Right now. Tomorrow."

"Edward…what's this about?"

"I don't want to wait until June to be your husband. We can still have the wedding," he added when he saw the protest in her eyes, "but let's do this now. Let's just…before it's too late."

He saw the exact minute when the argument left her; when the realization of her inability to assure him that they had time registered in her mind – when she realized that he was serious and that he _needed_ this from her for his personal peace.

"Okay," she nodded quietly as she rested her forehead against his. "Tomorrow."


	39. Chapter 39 Tonight, I Celebrate My Love

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter – Tonight, I Celebrate My Love**

"Look at me! My shoes are super fast!"

Bella inhaled sharply as a blur in a red jacket and new Spiderman sneakers whizzed by her.

"Anthony, you can't run in here! You're going to bump into someone!" Bella called after him as the little boy came to a screeching halt at the end of the cereal aisle, only to pivot and come racing back toward her.

Beside her, a happy chuckle escaped Esme.

"I wish I had his energy," she said.

"I wish you had it, too. Actually, I wish _anybody_ besides Anthony had it at the moment." Bella smiled as she spoke and it was obvious that her words held no truth. Anthony's exuberance was the evidence of his happiness, and she was so grateful to see its display, as four days ago she and Edward were terrified that his child-like cheerfulness would be destroyed forever at the news of another lost loved one.

Bella could still clearly see in her mind the way Edward had paced back and forth in front of the couch the next morning as he contemplated how he should break the news of David's death to Anthony. Finally he'd decided to call a 'Father-Son Holiday' and kept Anthony out of school for the day. Bella remembered being a nervous wreck all day at work in anticipation of a call from Edward telling her that Anthony hadn't taken the news well.

Yet when Edward finally did get a hold of her, right before the lunch recess, he'd told her that Anthony was quite upset at first until he spied an unusually puffy cloud in the sky that reminded him of his grandmother's address.

"Is Grandpa in heaven now, too?" Anthony had asked.

"Yep," Edward had answered.

"Good. Now he can live with Grandma again so she can give him vitamins and cook his spinach."

"That's it?" Bella had been in awe of how accepting Anthony had been. It sounded too good to be true and she suggested Edward phone in for advice from Leisel, which he begrudgingly did. It wasn't that he didn't want to do what was best for Anthony – he just didn't want to hear her confirm what Bella was insinuating: that the worst was yet to come.

However, it was bittersweet news that Edward had received from Leisel.

"It could go either way," she'd said. "He could very well be as accepting of the information as he seems, or he could be repressing his feelings. Only time will tell for sure, but the most important thing for you to do is encourage Anthony to talk about his feelings as often as you can. Look for signs that he might be upset: changes to his eating and sleeping patterns, withdrawal from the things he enjoys doing, anti-social and disruptive behavior, things like that. If you see anything of that sort, tell him how his behavior is making you feel and then ask him to tell you how he's feeling. Meanwhile, be sure to keep up on his sessions. I believe he's scheduled to see me next week. Are you going to be able to make it?"

Bella winced to herself as she tightened her grip on the shopping cart, still feeling the sting of Edward's words when he'd told her that he'd postponed Anthony's appointment.

"Maybe that's not such a good idea," she'd argued.

But Edward had been adamant about their plans for the week and the appointment with Leisel would get in the way of them.

Edward had compromised that if Anthony started to show any of the symptoms his therapist had listed off, then, and only then, would Edward reconsider his stance. But until then, he and the soon-to-be Mrs. Edward Cullen had an appointment with the local government, and after a 72-hour waiting period, they had a date with the justice of the peace.

"…steel-cut oatmeal."

Bella had been lost to her own thoughts and hadn't been listening as Esme spoke about the importance of a balanced breakfast.

"I'm sorry. What were you saying?" Bella struggled to keep her thoughts in the present instead of thinking about her impending nuptials. In addition to trying to get married on the spur of the moment, Bella was also trying to swallow the bitter pill of shame that she felt for keeping the plan a secret. Especially since Esme had already mentioned, three times, how excited and honored she felt by Edward's invitation to their June wedding.

"I was just saying that oatmeal is a great breakfast for a growing boy," Esme nodded toward Anthony and the large box of sugared cereal that currently had his attention. "Those cereals don't really stick to the bones. He'll be hungry less than an hour after he eats that stuff."  
"We let him have it on Saturday mornings as a treat," Bella sighed as she accepted the box from Anthony. "My mother never let me have stuff like this and as a result, as soon as I was able to make my own purchases, I went overboard. I figure if we let him have it in moderation, he won't go off the deep end like I did."

"Smart," Esme smiled and patted Bella's hand.

Bella noticed that her eyes lingered over the oatmeal section before she returned her gaze to Anthony.

"Steel cut, huh?" Bella picked up a can of oatmeal that was more than twice the cost of the rest of the brands.

"It's really good for you and it doesn't take much to fill you up. I know it seems expensive, but it's a great deal. Carlisle loves it with honey or maple syrup," Esme prattled.

Bella nodded and added the can to her cart. She also reached for a bottle of pure maple syrup to accompany it. She'd actually had steel-cut oatmeal before and it wasn't something she found palatable, but it wasn't for herself that she'd procured the items.

When he'd given Bella all of the details of his last visit with Esme, Edward had also spoken of the insufficient rations in his parents' cupboards. It had seared Bella's heart to hear the heartbreak in Edward's voice as he spoke of how little food he'd seen.

"Take her grocery shopping with you, Bella," Edward had pleaded. "And whatever she suggests, touches or even looks at, buy it. Don't tell her what you're doing, because she'll never let you, but…if you'd seen what I saw…"

"I'll get that food in her kitchen if I have to break in at midnight and put it away myself," Bella had assured him.

And that was exactly her intention as she plucked every single item that Esme pondered on into her cart.

"My dad still drinks Vitamin D milk. It seems so thick to me. Is that what you and Carlisle drink?" Bella made light of the question as she stood in front of the dairy section.

"Oh no," Esme wrinkled her nose at Charlie's choice. "We used to drink 1%, but you can get better prices on non-fat, and it's not that big of a change."

"True, but there is a little more flavor in the low fat," Bella commented as she placed two gallons of 1% milk in her cart.

By the time they made it back home from the store, Bella was exhausted from all the mental hoops she'd had to jump through to fill up five grocery bags worth of food for Edward's parents. Fortunately, the low crime rate in Forks, Washington was a deterrent against locking car doors and Bella was able to slip the bags in the backseat of Esme's car undetected.

Now, if only planning a spur of the moment marriage ceremony could be that simple.

"I told you, I'll help you with everything," Edward reiterated that afternoon when as they scoured the county requirements to make sure they had everything they needed to get married in three days.

"We need two witnesses," Bella said glumly.

"Easy. Emmet and Jasper," Edward said, looking smug over how quickly he'd solved a problem.

"Absolutely not," Bella called out almost immediately. "First of all, we agreed that we weren't going to tell anyone – which brings me to my second problem; Rosalie and I gave Alice a super hard time for sneaking off and getting married without telling their friends. Now we're about to do the same thing."

"Well I don't want to have someone we don't know sign as a witness for us," Edward contested.

Bella warmed inwardly at his use of 'we' and 'us' instead of 'I' and 'me'.

"Babe, I-"

"You said we could do this, Bella," Edward sighed, deflated.

"We are doing it, Edward. We're going to get married on Wednesday. And stop talking as if I'm doing you a favor. I want to be your wife more than anything in this world and the sooner the better," Bella scolded him playfully. "Now, about those witnesses…"

"Your parents?"

"My mother is the first name on my do-not-tell list. Trust me, it's just easier if she thinks our June vows are our first."

Edward looked down at the table and the argument Bella thought he looked poised to give never came. Instead, he voiced disgruntlement at not being able to include Emmett and Jasper.

"They're my oldest friends. Who cares if you gave Alice a hard time? She'll just get to give you a hard time in return. Big deal."

When he put it like that, his words made Bella feel silly and immature and she reluctantly agreed.

"Do you want to call them, then?" She wished she could have been more at ease with the arrangement but something just didn't feel right, yet she couldn't quite articulate what it was.

"Sure, I can do that."

But before he had a chance, the telephone rang and since Bella was closer to it, she answered.

"Hello?"

"Your generosity never ceases to amaze me." It was Esme. "You are an angel. You know that?"

She had found the groceries and from the grateful tone in her voice, Bella deduced that she wasn't going to challenge accepting them.

"Well thank you," Bella smiled against the phone, "but I'm afraid I can't take the credit for the gesture, only for the delivery of it."

"A deed just as worthy," Esme countered. Then she lowered her voice a bit and added, "I don't want you to think I'm being frivolous with our finances. I've been making a few…investments into my family and I—"

"Of course you don't have to explain yourself to me or anyone else."

There was no question as to whom the "anyone else" was that Bella was referencing.

"Is he there?"

"Just a minute." Bella held out the phone to Edward, giving neither him nor Esme the option to deliberate on whether or not they were going to acknowledge what Edward had done for his mother and father.

Edward's brow creased as he accepted the phone in query of who was on the other end.

_Your mother,_ Bella mouthed.

Edward took in a deep breath and let it out before he spoke. "Hello?"

Bella watched his demeanor as he talked to Esme on the phone. He fidgeted nervously and his face flushed behind a smile he was trying to hide. Bella guessed that Esme was thanking him for the groceries and he didn't know how to take the accolades being heaped upon him.

"It's no big deal," he shrugged bashfully.

Bella started to get up to grant him privacy. She could hear that the video Anthony was watching was winding down and he would be soon searching out something else to do.

Yet as soon as he saw Bella's movement, Edward's hand shot out and he gestured for her to sit back down and remain with him.

Bella frowned, worried about whatever his motivation was for not wanting to be left alone. _Hadn't he and his mother been on the road to recovering a relationship? Hadn't he had a positive visit only last week with not just his mother but his father also?_

The unsettled feeling was short-lived, however, because as soon as Edward spoke his next sentence, it was clear as to why Edward had wanted Bella to stay.

"I was wondering…I mean…I'm still working out the details, and I need to talk to Bella first, but…are you busy on Wednesday morning…say…around ten o'clock?"

Bella looked into Edward's deep green eyes and it was almost as if he were pleading with her for it to be okay. Her heart broke over the fact that he would even consider the notion that she would ever deny him this milestone.

She smiled at him and nodded, prodding him to follow through.

Edward lit up when he saw Bella's agreement. "Actually, um…yeah, if you are free, then Bella and I would like you to be a witness for us…we're getting married on Wednesday… No, we're still having the wedding in June, we're just...right…yeah…Okay…great."

He ended his phone call and then, with a gusty heave, leveled a gaze at Bella as he leaned against the counter.

"You sure you don't mind?" he asked after a few beats of silence.

"Of course not."

Edward looked down at the floor and smiled toward the tips of his boots. "She was so happy she almost started crying," he whispered.

As she watched him, Bella remembered that her parents had been Edward's first suggestion for their chosen witnesses. Suddenly she wondered if it was merely a coincidence or had he longed for his mother's involvement all along? Instantly she felt guilty for the relationship with her parents that she so flippantly took advantage of constantly in Edward's presence.

Bella held out her hand toward the phone that Edward had just set down.

"Oh, she had to go cook dinner," Edward spoke of Esme's unavailability as he looked over at the phone.

"I wasn't going to call your mother."

"Oh," Edward tossed Bella the phone. "Who're you gonna call?"

"Mine."

In a perfect fairytale, Renee would have been overcome with joy just as Esme had been, and she would have unconditionally accepted the honor of standing beside her daughter as she traded vows with her groom.

Yet life wasn't a fairytale, and Bella had to listen to a countless array of questions on why she had to get married at a county office when her actual wedding was mere months away.

"Are you pregnant?" Renee asked point blank. "That's it, isn't it? You're not going to fit into your dress in June and-"

"No, Mom. I'm not pregnant. This is just something I'm doing for Edward because I love him and he really wants this and so do I," Bella said when she got tired of defending her position.

There was a long string of silence as Bella awaited her mother's next question, but Renee merely sighed and asked for exact details.

"We'll use Daddy's frequent flyer miles," she acquiesced.

"No, Mom. I'll pay for your plane ticket."

"Nonsense. There's no way we're going to make our little girl pay for the privilege of seeing her get married."

At the use of the term _little girl_, Bella softened toward all of her mother's bristling, realizing that Renee Swan was only being protective and had her daughter's best interest at heart. The realization momentarily clouded Bella's recollection of what else her mother had said.

_We're_.

"Daddy doesn't have to come." But even as she said the words, Bella knew they were futile. Of course her father would come.

For the next two and a half days, Bella expired a vast amount of energy worrying about whether or not she would be placing a blemish on the event for Edward by having both of her parents present when only one of his would be.

But it ended up being a moot point, for both of Edward's parents were present as well.

City Hall was dimly lit and scarcely populated that Wednesday morning as a team comprised of Swans and Cullens made their way through the narrow corridor. Anthony was appreciative of the echoing sound his voice made so he found every opportunity possible to burst into loud giggles or call out to his dad. This went on until Charlie or Esme, who were politely taking turns fussing over the five-year-old, effectively distracted him with candy, coins and promises of fun things to come.

"Are you gonna take me fishing Papa Charlie?" Anthony asked as he slipped his hand into Charlie's.

"He calls you Papa Charlie?" Esme asked as she fell into step beside them. "That's cute. He calls me 'Mis-mey'," she proudly shared her nickname.

Bella sidelined a glance at Edward and looked away just in time to catch Esme casting a nervous glance over her shoulder. When she saw that she was being watched, Esme smiled big at Bella and asked her if she was nervous.

"Nope," Bella said as she tightened her grip on Edward's hand.

It wasn't a complete falsehood. She wasn't nervous in the sense that she knew what she was doing; marrying Edward was her heart's desire. She certainly wasn't nervous about how Edward felt about her. Their union felt _right_ and she was confident in his love for her. She also wasn't nervous about her appearance. Even though the white organza and crepe wedding gown she'd picked out was still reserved for her June nuptials, Bella bought a white cotton eyelet tea-length dress that perfectly accentuated the occasion of becoming Ms. Edward Cullen. No, she wasn't at all worried about her appearance, but getting her vows out without an embarrassing show of emotion had the butterflies in her stomach channeling woodpeckers.

"Where should we stand?" Renee asked as she walked into the small room and commanded the attention of all present.

For the formal ceremony in the summer, Bella and Edward planned to have Anthony stand with them during their vows, but for now, they situated him next to Charlie on one of the hard mission-style benches before they ducked off to steal a few minutes alone before the judge came in.

"You look beautiful," Edward whispered. He seemed a bit timid and she wondered if it was because he wasn't accustomed to being surrounded by family.

"Right back at'cha," Bella said as she smoothed down the collar of the white dress shirt he'd chosen to accompany his dark charcoal dress slacks. It was the most dressed up Bella had ever seen him and he looked absolutely delectable in her opinion.

"So…" Edward looked down at her as he rocked back and forth from heel to toe. "We're about to get married."

"I know," Bella grinned up at him.

"How are your feet?"

"Warm and toasty."

Edward arched an eyebrow at her. "That sounds like a condition you might want to have checked out."

She swatted him playfully and rose up on tip-toes to plant a kiss on his lips. "I love you."

"That's good, because when you say 'I do', you're gonna make me the luckiest man in the world and I'd feel kind of bad if you didn't think you were at least getting something out of the deal, too."

But it was Bella who felt like the luckiest person in the world, and she made sure to communicate just that as she pledged to love the man before her, and his son, until her last escaping breath.

There was a hiccupping sob at the end of the vows, when Edward and Bella were introduced to their party as man and wife. Bella didn't even have to look over to know that it was her mother, but she was interested to see what Esme's expression was at witnessing her long-lost son tie the knot, so her eyes quickly sought out her new mother-in-law.

And that's when she saw him.

His pale, icy stare was penetrating even from the corner of the room, where he sat quietly beside a large man in what appeared to be an orderly uniform.

A feeling of protectiveness surged within Bella and she quickly looked over at Anthony to make sure he hadn't spotted the man who scared him so. Then she glanced at Edward and captured the exact moment her husband's gaze landed on Carlisle Cullen.

_How could she?_ Bella felt a vehement ire toward Esme in taking such a risk on a day that she shouldn't have dared to tarnish for the son she claimed to love so much.

"Daddy wanted to take you out for a seafood dinner, but if I don't eat another fish in my life, it'll be too soon." Renee's prattle successfully interrupted Bella's thoughts.

"What I said," Charlie stood up and straightened his clothing, only to have Anthony catapult himself against his chest and muss them again, "was _we_, as in you and I, should take _Anthony_ to a fish fry while we're _babysitting_ him tonight so these two kids can celebrate on their own." Charlie pointed at Edward and Bella.

"Oh, right. Of course." She turned to Bella and smiled. "There's that lovely Bed and Breakfast that used to be just outside of town. Is it still there?"

"Edward and I hadn't really planned on going anywhere. We're going to Canada in June, so-"

"What do you mean you're not going anywhere? It's your wedding day. You have to celebrate," Renee insisted, as if she hadn't been unable to grasp the reason for the accelerated marriage ceremony only a few days before.

"I'm sure Anthony wouldn't mind us keeping him company for the night, would'ya, Sport? We could have a campout," Charlie said.

Anthony laughed. "It's raining!"

"So? Your dad hasn't ever camped with you in the living room?"

Anthony shook his head that he hadn't and then looked over at Edward curiously. "Can I, Dad? Can I camp in the living room with Papa Charlie?"

Edward tightened his grip around Bella's waist. "Whaddya say? You wanna get away for the night?"

Bella's eyes slid over the length of Edward, from his purposefully disheveled hair, to his unassumingly broad shoulders, his lean torso, tight abs, muscular thighs… it was as if she was looking at him without the hindrance of clothing…

"Y-yeah. I'd like that," she said almost breathlessly.

Edward smirked, as if he knew what she was thinking, and Bella was only slightly mortified to see that her father looked amused at her flushed cheeks as well.

Esme stepped into the intimate circle of family and immediately Bella felt herself tense, even though Carlisle remained rows away watching the small gathering with moderate disinterest.

"Congratulations, honey," she said to Edward as she awkwardly rubbed his shoulders before enveloping him in a swift hug.

"Thanks," Edward said quietly.

Bella studied Edward's expression carefully for signs of stress or, in mirror to her own emotions, irritation at what Esme had assumed to do.

But she saw none.

Instead, as Edward meekly shared a silent communication with his mother, Bella noted a hint of gratitude laced in appreciation and she wondered if he was thankful for more than merely her well wishes.

She couldn't wait until they were alone and she could freely ask him what he really thought about his father's presence.

But an interaction minutes later told her everything she needed to know.

They were making their way toward the exit when Bella noticed that Carlisle was no longer sitting in the corner, but instead was standing near the aisle with the aide who'd accompanied him hovering close behind. As she and Edward grew closer to Carlisle, Bella glanced up at Edward to see if he was as nervous as she was – anticipating some sort of outburst. But Edward seemed more curious than apprehensive, a fact identified by the way he slowed his stride as he passed.

In a movement so slight that she would have missed it if Edward hadn't reacted, Carlisle inclined his head and opened his mouth as if he were going to speak. The inkling of recollection was so evident it was palpable and Bella knew she wasn't the only one holding her breath; the look of hope on Edward's face nearly broke her heart.

Slowly, Carlisle's hand came up, and just short of touching Edward's cheek with the tips of his fingers, his arm dropped limply to his side. And just like that, the flicker of recall was snuffed out and the light in Carlisle's eyes disappeared as he retreated to his internal place of safety.

Edward was struck unmovable and Bella watched him intently for a clue as to what she should do next.

"Who is that?" Renee's voice broke the silence.

Bella was so distracted by all the scenarios of something going wrong in her mind that it took her a moment to realize that no one had answered her mother's question. She looked over at Esme and saw the straight line of her pressed-together lips. There was no way _she_ was going to be the one to—

"That's my dad," Edward said.

There was such pride in the utterance of his answer that Bella felt chastised for her earlier contempt for what Esme had done in bringing Carlisle with her. Their baby boy was getting married. How could she bring Carlisle to the wedding? _How could she not?_

"Oh." Renee seemed confused as she stared at Carlisle and then back to Bella and Edward for further explanation, but they offered none. Instead, they smiled at one another, tightened the grip of their joined hands and led the way to the waiting world outside.

It wasn't until they were alone, on their way to their overnight trip, that Bella asked her husband about his feelings regarding his father's presence that morning.

"I was okay with it," he said. Then, as if the thought hadn't occurred to him until that second, he looked over at Bella and asked, "Were you?"

"Of course. I just know you don't really like those kinds of surprises. And, in the past…well, he's been unpredictable."

"Yeah. But he was okay today."

"Yeah, he was."

The subject dropped as their location came into view and they began to talk lightly about the beauty of the grounds and hoping Anthony didn't get scared being away from them for the night.

Once inside, the room, though small, was nicer than Bella had expected on such short notice and someone had already placed a congratulatory bottle of champagne on the entry table near the window.

"How'd they know? We've only just checked in." Bella turned toward Edward as she pointed to the beverage. The glimmer in his eye told her that he _might_ have had something to do with it.

"You are the sweetest, sexiest man. You know that, don't you?" Bella asked as she closed the gap between them.

"I'm going to remind you that you said that," Edward paused to kiss Bella's temple. "When I leave my socks on the floor or my dishes in the sink or when the toilet seat doesn't make it all the way down in the middle of the night…"

"Are you forgetting that I already knew all of those things and I married you anyway?"

"Mmhm," Edward hummed against her neck as he kissed her there. "You're either crazy or desperate." He chuckled.

"Desperately in love. With you," she added to ease any lingering insecurity.

"I love you, Babe," he said with sudden seriousness. "You're better with words than I am, but today, our vows…I meant every word. This is it for me. _You're_ it. There can never be anyone else but you for me."

Action responded where words fell short and Bella kissed him soundly and deeply as they made their way to the bed and collapsed upon it. It wasn't long before their naked bodies were tangled between the sheets and they physically manifested the love they'd just professed to one another.

Bella moaned appreciatively as Edward's nibbling bites cascaded from her collarbone to her breasts, where he licked and teased her tight buds until she cried out for mercy.

"Edward," she gasped as he trailed his tongue down her body and peppered lingering kisses against the inside of her thigh. "_Please_."

"Isabella Marie _Cullen_," he put an emphasis on her last name, "are you begging?"

"Oh, Edward, I want you," she murmured.

"And you'll have me," he placed another slow kiss just above her sex. "But we have all night."

Bella knew there was no way she was going to last another second at the hands of Edward, so she quickly repositioned herself for more control in their lovemaking.

"Hey," Edward said with feigned indignation when Bella moved down toward his torso and began kissing the trail of hair there. Aggressively, she took him in her mouth and the next peep out of him one of ecstasy.

"Babe," he rubbed her legs and backside softly; from the strain in his voice, Bella could tell that he was holding back his climax. "Can you do that thing?"

"What thing?" Bella's lips made a popping sound as she suctioned the tip of his penis. "That?"

"_Ahh..sshii— _ah, that feels good," Edward hissed. "That other thing," he said in a boyish whisper.

"What other thing?"

It was completely silent while Bella waited for Edward to tell her what he was talking about. She was just about to ask him again when he grabbed her hand and placed it on his ass.

Oh! _That_ thing.

"I thought you'd forbidden me to ever do that again," Bella teased.

"I told you not to spring it on me. If I'm prepared…well…then it's not so bad."

Bella decided against giving him a hard time. Instead, she went back to her earlier activities without a hint as to whether or not she would comply with his wishes. She stroked, licked, nibbled and caressed until she felt the weight of his body shift and his mouth clamp down between her legs, relentlessly bestowing upon her the same actions.

It didn't take long before she was close and by the shivering trembles of his legs, she could tell he was, too. In a sure, confident movement, Bella ran her hands over the soft, silky flesh of Edward's buttocks before she finally relented and gave him what he wanted.

His body convulsed with the force of his orgasm as his cry of euphoria sent her to the brink of her own nirvana. Afterward, they lay against one another, panting, spent and deliriously happy.

"Promise me it'll always be like that," Edward said, his voice hoarse with exertion.

"I promise you that I will always _want_ it to be like that," she returned.

They dosed in one another's arms, only to wake up hours later, now satisfied to tenderly love one another at a pace that lasted the rest of the night.

The ringing of Bella's cell phone awoke them the next morning, but both she and Edward made no move to answer it. After a few moments of quiet, it rang again.

"You'd better get it. It might be your parents," Edward said groggily.

At the mention of her parents, Bella thought of Anthony, and the fear that something could be wrong with him propelled her out of bed. But by the time she got to her phone, it had already gone to voicemail.

"It wasn't my parents," Bella said, a wry smile crossing her lips as she listened to the first of two voicemail messages.

_"You bitch!"_ Alice's shrill voice assaulted her in recorded form.

And then, a second message from Rosalie:

"_What she said_."

"Did you tell Emmett and Jasper we got married yesterday?" Bella said as she crawled back in bed with Edward.

"No," he said slowly in a way that revealed that he had told them _something._

"What did you do?" Bella asked him accusingly.

"Bella, they're my best friends and a man doesn't take a plunge like marriage without telling his best friend about it."

"Jasper did."

"No, he didn't. I knew, I just didn't say anything about it. He asked me not to make a big deal about it, so I didn't. To be honest, it's felt like Alice and Jasper have been married forever, so I kind of forgot about it."

"This is exactly what I didn't want to happen. Alice and Rosalie are never going to let me live this down," Bella groaned.

Edward rolled over and propped himself up on his elbow so that he was looking down at Bella. "You're honestly going to tell me that you're ticked off because I _didn't_ want to hide the fact that I was marrying you from my friends?"

"Well…when you put it that way." Bella instantly felt guilty. "No, I'm not mad. I just…am a hypocrite, I guess." She laughed.

She quieted when she saw that Edward wasn't laughing with her. He had that faraway look in his eye that told her something was on his mind and she waited patiently for him to share it with her.

"Did you see the way he looked at me?" he asked out of the blue. "It was like he knew me."

Bella knew exactly who Edward was talking about.

"For a split second I thought…" and then the hope fizzled out as Edward decided against finishing his sentence. He shook his head and settled on a different topic. "Hey, so how much longer do you think we can put off going to the real world?"

"The real world isn't so bad, Edward," Bella said as she nestled against his chest. "Especially not now that I'm tied to you."

As Edward's responding kiss led to another, and yet another, it became clear that the real world would have to wait at least a little while longer.


	40. Chapter 40 We Belong

**A Rough Start**

**Chapter 40 – ****We Belong**

Forks was experiencing record-breaking warmth for the month of May, and as Edward sat on a worn patio chair in Alice and Jasper's back yard, he was thankful for the thin white t-shirt he was wearing to stave off the heat.

His friends had called for a Memorial Day barbeque, but Bella had said Alice was just looking for an excuse to eat barbecued pork. Her pregnancy was nearing a close and Edward had noticed as of late that he rarely saw her without food in her mouth.

Bella might have been correct as far as Alice's motivation for the backyard cookout, but Edward suspected his friends were reveling in a nonchalant way to celebrate his upcoming wedding; the ceremony was only a few weeks away, even though he and Bella had officially tied the knot months before.

Edward would have thought he was the last man on earth who would have said that marriage agreed with him, but it really did. For the first time, he felt that he was finally able to relax in a way that he never had before. Sure, he was a little uptight about the upcoming ceremony and the fact that his friends and acquaintances would be staring at him in his monkey suit, watching him be sentimental, but that was just temporary.

The peace he felt at being bound to Bella, and having her bound to him both figuratively and legally, made him feel a sense of security that he'd been searching for since childhood.

Not that Esme hadn't also been doing her part to mend the past. They saw each other almost every day and they had dinner together twice a week, Wednesdays at her house and at his home on Saturdays.

He smiled as he remembered their encounter two weeks ago, when he'd shown up at her house unexpectedly on a Thursday morning to drop off a dress that Bella's mother had sent her. He'd knocked on the door several times and after no answer, he'd turned the knob and let himself in. The glow of a television had alerted him to which room his mother was in and he'd stood in the entryway to the living room prepared to make his presence known, only to be stunned silent at the sight before him.

On the television, colors flew wildly as pictures flashed across the screen rapidly and vividly. Instead of Esme, he'd seen his father sitting as still as a statue in a chair much too close to the set, stoically taking it all in.

He'd frowned when a picture of himself at about five years of age flickered across the screen. Another one, of when he was nine, followed closely behind. Edward watched as pictures of him throughout the years cycled over the television set, only to start over at infancy and start growing him up again.

"What the…" he protested quietly.

"It's a new form of therapy." Esme had come up beside him and he hadn't even noticed her. "It's to help him bridge the gaps of time in his memory. Bella made me copies of the few pictures you had at the house. She said that she'd asked you and you didn't mind."

"No, I don't mind, it's just…Is it working?" Edward had asked.

Esme had seemed reluctant to answer. "It hasn't really been tested yet."

"How long has he been doing this?"

"Well, this particular cycle is the third wave, and we've just started. The pictures change out at a much faster rate and cover a longer span of time with each cycle."

"What are the pictures of?" Edward asked, even though he knew the answer.

"It's you. It's to help him remember you."

"What about you?"

"He's seen me just about every day of our married lives. Plus, the first time we did this in the doctor's office, he was hooked up to a machine that measured his brain activity. There were pictures of me at that time and his brain waves indicated that he recognized me."

"Were there pictures of me then?"

"Yes," and before Edward could ask the fated question, she answered, "he didn't seem to recognize you, but that was just at the first session months ago. He's showing signs of recognizing you more and more with each passing day."

"Like when Bella and I got married?"

Esme had smiled, delighted to once again bring up the milestone moment for her husband. "I thought for sure he was going to say your name right then."

"Me too," Edward had agreed with not quite the enthusiasm his mother had possessed.

"He will, honey. He will."

Edward smiled to himself at the warm feelings that remained with him as the memory faded away and left him in the presence of his friends and their antics.

"What are you smiling about over there?" Emmett asked Edward when he caught a glint of the grin that had flashed across his friend's face.

"Nothing," Edward said.

Though he'd mentioned his parents in passing to his friends, he had yet to go into a lengthy explanation about their re-emergence into his life. Fortunately for Edward, his friends didn't pry.

"I know what you're thinking about," Jasper pointed the tip of his beer bottle toward Edward. "You're thinking about your honeymoon."

Emmett sat back in his chair and frowned. "But why are you going to Canada? What's in Canada?"

"Niagara Falls," Edward answered.

"Mm," Emmett mumbled, still not quite satisfied by the answer. "What're ya gonna do with the little guy?"

"Not sure yet. I think Bella's parents are gonna watch him for us. We haven't really fleshed out all the details."

Jasper plunked his bottle down and turned to stare at his two friends, taking them each in with his eyes before he opened his mouth to speak.

"Look at us," he gestured to them with his hands. "Edward's married, I'm havin' a kid and Emmett…well when his woman stops wearing that ring around her neck and puts it on her finger, we'll all be fuckin' grown up. Man…when did _that_ happen?"

"Rosalie wears a ring around her neck?" Edward asked, momentarily breaking the sentimentality of the moment.

Emmett nodded. "I know she really feels guilty about what happened between us earlier in the year and she's kind of been playing this martyr roll. She doesn't believe me when I tell her that I get it, and I do," he said to assure his friends. "She had to go out there and try. She did it and found her priorities. But now she feels this…obligation to me."

"That's cool," Jasper broke in.

"But it's not," Emmett stressed. "Part of what worked between us was that we were so real. If I was being a dick, she told me I was being a dick. If she was acting like a shrew, I told her. Now, it's like she's too careful around me and it makes me edgy."

"She'll come around," Edward shrugged.

"I know, which is why I gave her the ring as a necklace," Emmett smiled at his reasoning. "I told her that when she stops feeling guilty about trying to make sure that I'm what she wants out of life, she can move that ring to her finger. But the condition is that she has to be ready to stop apologizing for what happened. It's time to move on, ya know?"

"Wow, you came up with that all by yourself?" Edward asked.

Emmett shot him the finger before taking a swig of his beer.

Jasper absentmindedly peeled the label off his beer bottle, successfully averting his eyes from his friends.

"Do you guys ever feel…scared…about what life is bringing?" he asked.

Emmett shrugged, as if he wasn't too sure _scared_ was quite the right word. Edward, however, had no qualms about answering truthfully.

"Every second."

"I'm gonna be a dad. Me!" Jasper yelped incredulously. "I don't know the first thing about being a dad."

"Join the club," Edward spoke up.

"Yeah, but at least you're good at it," Jasper argued. "I can't even pick out a name. You know what Alice wants to name the kid if it's a boy? Boden. Boden Jasper. She says we'll call him BJ for short, but I just know she's going to call him Bodie. She adds an 'ie' to everything. She'd call me Jaspie if I let her."

"And if it's a girl?" Emmett asked to interrupt his friend's ranting.

"It's a boy," Jasper groaned. "At least if it was a girl I wouldn't have to worry about teaching her all that manly stuff like sports and building things…I don't _build_ things!"

"Then why are you always borrowing all of my tools, man?" Emmett wanted to know.

Jasper ignored Emmett and when he turned to face Edward, the anguish in his eyes was apparent.

"You'll do fine," Edward assured him. "You'll put food in his belly, put clothes on his back and put a roof over his head. You'll fend off the bullies until he's old enough to fight 'em off himself, and you'll thank God every day that you married a woman who'll cover all of your mistakes."

"You can stop sucking up, Edward. She already married you," Alice said as she exited the house with a tray of food and tossed a sour look in Bella's direction – still angry over the fact that Bella and Edward had gotten married without telling her. "Rosalie, we're totally depending on you to finally show us how to do this wedding thing the _right_ way."

"I am doing it the right way! I'm having a wedding, which you're _in._ We could have just let the court do it and be done with it…sort of like another couple I know," Bella rolled her eyes as she sat a plate of food on the table and beckoned for Anthony to take a seat beside his father.

"Fine, I'll admit that the main reason I'm upset is because I'm shallow," Alice shrugged. "I can't believe you're making me wear that tent of a dress in your wedding when it could have been a much smaller tent if you'd have had the whole thing in March in the first place!"

"So what's this I hear about the baby's name being chosen?" Rosalie asked as she moved to sit in Emmett's lap. Edward noticed Bella shoot her a grateful smile for changing the subject, and after what Emmett had just shared, he wondered if Rosalie's lighthearted mood had something to do with the necklace she was fingering at the moment, as well as Alice's comment about her own wedding. As he pondered it, he realized that Rosalie hadn't been giving Bella nearly as hard a time over their marriage as Alice had for quite some time.

"Oh, Baby Bodie!" Alice sat up and clapped her hands.

"Hey!" Jasper patted her on the bottom. "BJ."

"Right. BJ," Alice nodded, but the wink she gave her friends left no doubt as to what the child would really be called.

The conversation lightened when everyone sat down for dinner, but as soon as the meal had ended and Anthony had followed Bella into the house with the other women, the conversation turned exactly where it always did when the three guys were together: work, money and the bedroom.

"It's different after kids, isn't it?" Jasper asked Edward solemnly.

Edward shrugged. "I don't feel like I can really answer that. I mean, I didn't ever have a baby in the house and Bella didn't have any of that body stuff from having a kid. Anthony's pretty easy to get rid of whenever we want to be alone – all he needs is a movie or a coloring book. I mean, there were a few times that we've woken up and he's been in bed with us, but Bella has his bedroom so tricked out now that he never really wants to come into our room."

Jasper looked down at the table and then back up at his friends. "I don't want to make it sound like I don't want the baby, because I do. I'm just…dealing with some last minute concerns, I guess."

"I think that's pretty normal. Bella and I had the _baby talk_," Edward emphasized his words with finger quotes, "and I started doing the same thing. I started thinking about money and terrorism and job security…all kinds of crazy shit."

"So you two are thinking about having another kid?" Emmett asked.

"Yeah, but not right away. We're gonna wait awhile. We have to get used to being married first," Edward grinned.

The conversation steered onto work until Rosalie appeared with a chocolate mousse pie. Then they all listened as Alice complained about her arms, thighs, ankles and wrists and how she expected all of the weight to miraculously disappear in the delivery room. Edward raised an eyebrow at Bella. He didn't know much about what women went through to have babies, but he was pretty certain that the weight didn't come off on its own, and with the way that Alice had been chowing down, she definitely would have some pounds to work off.

Of course, that was only his opinion and he knew well enough to keep it to himself.

The adults sat around talking deep into the evening, until Anthony grew testy and irritable over being beaten at checkers by Emmett.

"He's tired," Bella whispered to Edward. He nodded his head in agreement and stood up to leave.

Bella reminded everyone about the informal wedding rehearsal dinner that was going to happen at their home in the upcoming weeks, and then they were in the car, silent and satisfied from the good food and great company.

That, however, was the last amount of calm Edward experienced before the wedding. To say that the days leading up to the event were crazy would be putting it mildly. Even though it was supposed to be a small backyard affair, there were second cousins and great aunts and uncles, co-workers, Bella's students and their parents and, even though they'd only been in their house for a few months, neighbors; and they were all calling for information regarding the big day.

"Don't give me that look," Bella warned Edward when she saw the expression on his face after her mother had called for the fifth time that night with last minute details about one more far off family member who'd heard about the wedding and wanted to come. "You promised me that you wouldn't make any more cracks about elopements or the fact that we're technically already married."

"I didn't say a word," Edward shrugged, though he had been thinking exactly what she'd said. "But are you even the slightest bit worried about how we're going to feed all these people?"

"Edward, quit worrying. I told you, it's all taken care of. It'll be like one big, fun party."

"With a ton of people we don't even know," Edward muttered.

A soft tapping at their bedroom door interrupted the conversation, and when Edward gave the okay, Anthony opened the door but didn't enter the room.

"You didn't tuck me in," he said to Edward.

"Oh," Bella moved to get off the bed. "I'll be right there."

"I want Dad to do it," Anthony insisted, his gaze riveted to Edward.

Edward and Bella exchanged a questioning glance before he pushed up off the bed and followed after Anthony down the hall.

"What's this all about," Edward asked as Anthony clambered onto his bed. "Mommy always tucks you in."

"Bella."

"What?"

"Her name's Bella and sometimes I want you to tuck me in."

"Okay, Anthony. What's going on?" Edward asked sternly.

Instead of answer, Anthony changed the subject. "Can I sleep with you tonight?"

"No, you're fine to sleep in your own bed."

In the past few days, Anthony had become increasingly needy where Edward was concerned. As soon as Edward walked through the door from work, Anthony would come running and stay by his side throughout the evening. Because there was so much busywork going on with the wedding, Edward had thought Anthony was feeling a little neglected and was seeking to soothe those feelings in his own way, but now, he wondered if it was something more serious. A dreadful feeling came over Edward as he considered that Anthony might be starting to show signs of being affected by his grandfather's death.

"But why can't I sleep with you?" Anthony whined. One of his front teeth had grown so loose that it wiggled when he spoke. He wouldn't let Edward near it, so for one more day, it had remained in his mouth.

"Because," Edward said softly.

"Because you need private time with Mo-…with Bella?"

"Private time," Edward leaned away from Anthony so he could look him in the eye. "What do you mean by that?"

Anthony shrugged, but answered the question. "Jimmy Norco said that he never gets to sleep in his parents' room when his dad has private time with his mom."

Edward looked befuddled for a moment – an emotion that was still reflected on his face when he returned to his bedroom minutes later, followed by Anthony.

"We have company tonight?" Bella asked Edward when Anthony placed his pillow on the bed and got under the covers.

"What do you know about Jimmy Norco and private time?" Edward raised his eyebrows to Bella.

"Huh?" she frowned.

"Exactly. Scoot over."

Later, when Anthony had fallen into a deep sleep, Edward waited until after he'd transferred Anthony to his own bed before explaining to Bella that he thought Anthony was finally starting to show the impact David's death had had on him.

"But why is he latching on to you so intently all of a sudden?" Bella asked. "Even tonight, when he got into bed, he insisted upon being on your side. He usually likes to sleep in the middle."

"I think he's feeling like I'm going to disappear or something. Being on my side of the bed is just another thing of mine that he can partake of…I think."

"That makes sense," Bella nodded with understanding. Then, with a mischievous grin, she added, "Now, about this private time…"

"What about it?" Edward's voice took on a menacing tone as he slid nearer to her and slipped his hand underneath her nightgown.

And for the next hour, Edward's world was perfect. There were no encroaching deadlines at work, no slightly terrifying air travel plans looming in the near future, no in-laws coming to town, no fathers that didn't know their sons names, and no sad, suffering little boys.

There was only the silk of skin sliding, the hum of pleasure pressing and the fire of passion igniting.

And then the world came tumbling down again, the next afternoon when Edward came home from work and found Bella standing in the middle of the kitchen in tears.

"Honey, what's the matter?" Edward asked as he rushed over to her.

She blubbered her way through an answer, but then shook her head, acknowledging that she wasn't able to speak clearly.

"This better not be over some cute commercial you saw on TV," Edward smiled as he pulled her in closer. It was the day before her parents arrived in town, and the day before their rehearsal dinner. He figured she was just getting overwhelmed and feeling a little emotionally drained.

She pushed away from him and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"A-Anthony," she managed.

Edward's spine went rigid at what she'd uttered.

"What's wrong with Anthony? Where is he?" Edward's eyes flashed to the living room in search of his son.

"I sent him to his room," Bella sniffed. "He has been really…difficult today."

"What's he doing?"

"Well, let's see…he started off this morning by intentionally spilling his cereal on the floor. After that, he proceeded to run across the couch cushions with his shoes on when I specifically told him not to. He squeezed a tube of toothpaste into the sink and then plugged up said sink with toilet paper. By lunch time he'd moved on to the personal attacks and told me I was ugly and fat and that he hated me."

"What the hell?" Edward scratched his head. "This thing with his grandfather must be really starting to bother him."

"Call me crazy, but I don't think that's what this is. I think it's me."

"It's not you. He adores you."

"He said he doesn't want me, Edward," Bella's shoulders sagged. "He said he doesn't want to stand with us at the wedding." She choked back a sob. "Don't you see? All of his misbehaving is coinciding with the ceremony. That's what he's upset about, not David."

"He's excited about the wedding," Edward disagreed. "He's been for it from the start."

"Edward, you didn't see his face…his eyes… There was _hatred." _She paused to catch her breath. "I know that kid, Edward," Bella pointed in the direction of Anthony's bedroom. "And that's not him."

"I'll talk to him. He's just going through something. You'll see," Edward said assuredly.

He spent a few more minutes calming Bella down before sauntering down the hall to Anthony's room. Based upon what Bella had said, he wasn't surprised to find a very sullen little boy sitting on the floor in a corner of his bedroom. Edward was pretty sure that Anthony had heard his approach and was now playing up the dramatics for effect.

"I heard you had a pretty interesting day," Edward began as he took a seat across from Anthony on the bed.

"Nu-uh," Anthony shook his head stubbornly.

"I thought you were going to help with the cake for tomorrow night. What are you doing in here?" Edward tried a different approach.

"I don't like cake."

"Oh. Well, I'll have to remember to tell Bella not to make you one for your birthday."

Anthony's antagonistic façade faltered for a moment, but then he regained his indignant composure and crossed his arms angrily over his chest.

Edward eyed him warily. It was now evident what Bella had been speaking of. Anthony wasn't acting like himself at all. Without knowing a better way to go about it, Edward went for the direct approach.

"Anthony, are you upset about your Grandpa?" he asked point blank.

Anthony looked confused for a moment, but then shook his head. "Grandpa's in heaven with Grandma."

"That's right. I just want to make sure you really understand that, and that you know it's okay to still miss him…to still be sad."

"Leisel says I can draw pictures for him still."

"You can." That gave Edward an idea. "You know what else you can do with pictures?"

Anthony shook his head.

"You can tell me something that you might not be able to tell me with words. Like, maybe why you're so upset with Bella."

It looked like it was going to work for a moment but then Anthony stuck out his chin and sat on his hands to force them to comply with his wishes.

"I don't want to draw a picture," he announced.

Edward could see that he was getting nowhere, so he stood, but he had a few parting words for his son before he left.

"Anthony, I don't know what Bella did to make you so angry, but I know she loves you and she would never do anything to hurt you. Therefore, you need to understand that we, all three of us, are a family and that's the way we're going to stay. The wedding is just a ceremony. You know that Mom and I are already married." It was a point he didn't mind driving home now that school was out for the summer and there weren't many people Anthony could tell that didn't already know the secret. "For better or for worse, kiddo, we all have each other."

Anthony pretended not to hear his father and Edward was fully content to leave the room on that note, but just as he got to the door, he heard the sorrow in Anthony's voice as he finally spoke up.

"How come you said you're gonna get rid of me?"

Edward whirled around in shock. "What? I never said that."

"Uh-huh. You said it was easy to get rid of me and that you and Mom were gonna get a new kid after you get married."

Edward frowned. "I would never say anything like that."

"That's what you told Jasper and Emmett. I heared you."

"I think you misunderstood what you heard, Anthony. Not only am I _not_ planning to get rid of you, but I would never want to. Neither would Bella."

"And you're not getting a new kid?"

Edward knew he had to answer this question exactly right. He and Bella had not yet spoken to Anthony about the possibility of a new sibling, and though he didn't plan for it to happen anytime soon, Edward didn't want Anthony to feel as if he'd been lied to when the time finally did arrive.

"If you're ever going to be a big brother, Anthony, you'll be among the first to know. After all, we're going to need your help!" Edward smiled.

Anthony looked pensive. "What does a big brother do?"

"Well, since big brothers get to do everything first, you get to tell your little brother or sister all about how you do things," Edward answered.

"I can do that," Anthony nodded. "I'm good at directions."

"And you sometimes have to be the first one to test the cookies and the brownies to make sure they're good enough to eat."

Anthony smiled.

"And you have to be smart, which you already are, and you also have to be accountable, so that you can teach your brother or sister to be accountable to. That's very important."

"What's a-count-ble mean?"

"Accountable. And it means that if you do something wrong, you admit it and then say you're sorry. And if you see someone else do the wrong thing, you talk to them about it and help them own up to it and apologize if they need to. Can you do that?"

"I think so," Anthony wasn't so sure.

"Well, let's find out," Edward held his hand out to Anthony. "I know _somebody_ who is very sad because a certain five-year-old little boy was very naughty today."

Anthony's face fell as soon as he realized what his father was saying. He sighed loudly and allowed Edward to lead him into the kitchen where Bella was sitting at the small table.

"Someone has something he'd like to say to you," Edward pushed Anthony forward.

Bella looked at him expectantly, her large eyes rimmed red from crying.

"I'm sorry," Anthony mumbled.

"For?" Edward prompted.

"Being naughty," Anthony whispered.

Bella slid off the chair and knelt down in front of Anthony.

"Sweetie, if I've done something to upset you, or scare you, you have to tell me. Not listening or using mean words is not the way we communicate in this house, okay?"

Anthony nodded.

"Do you think you can tell me why you were so upset?" Bella asked.

Anthony looked over at Edward, hoping his father would fill in the blanks for him, but Edward refused to do any such thing.

"Go on," he said.

"I heard Dad say that you were gonna get rid of me and get a new kid."

"_I_ was going to get rid of you?" Bella looked up at Edward.

"Both of us," Edward clarified.

"When was this?" Bella asked.

"At Jasper and Alice's house," Anthony answered.

"He misunderstood something," Edward said. "Because I never said anything of the sort."

Anthony looked at Bella with woeful eyes, and she looked about as confused as he did. The unanswered question drowned in her eyes.

_If you said it, why was he mad at me?_

…_Because mommies bring new babies…_ Edward could see the moment the enlightenment came to her.

"You're my Anthony," Bella said as she pulled Anthony into a hug. "Nobody could ever replace you."

Anthony hugged her back, but by the expression on his son's face, Edward could tell that it was going to take more than words and hugs to convince him that what he'd thought he'd heard wasn't true.

It was going to take time.

Edward bellowed a sigh of relief when they made it to the day of the rehearsal dinner without much more difficulty.

It started out just like any other day. Bella's parents arrived in the morning and immediately pitched in to help with last minute details. Emmett and a few of his friends from work showed up to construct the four pop-up tents that would shield the wedding guests from the summer elements, and Bella sat with her mother, Rosalie, Alice and Anthony at the kitchen table giving the wedding favors a last minute sprucing.

"I don't know how I feel about my son being around all this ribbon and foo-foo stuff," Edward crinkled his nose as he pointed to the baskets overflowing with tulle and Jordan almonds.

"I'm the candy tester," Anthony said as he situated a container of chocolate-covered pretzels within his reach.

Edward held up his hand for a high-five. "Best job in the house."

Anthony had just popped another pale green almond into his mouth when Charlie appeared in the kitchen entryway with Anthony's game of Battleship.

"Any takers?" he asked

"Me!" Anthony jumped up from his seat and led Papa Charlie to the game table in his bedroom.

"He seems to be okay now," Renee said when Anthony had left, and Edward figured that Bella had informed her mother of their son's behavior from the day before.

"Something was wrong with Anthony?" Alice asked.

"That day at your house, he swears Edward said something about getting rid of him," Bella told Alice.

Edward hung by the door, sure that Alice would have no insight to provide on the matter.

It took twelve seconds for her to prove him wrong.

"Oh, the sex thing?" Alice asked nonchalantly as if Bella's mother wasn't sitting right there.

"The _what_ thing?" Bella shrieked. She looked over at him then and he could see that she was asking with hope that Alice's answer didn't make it seem as bad as it sounded.

"Jasper told me Edward was giving him advice on kids and stuff."

Rosalie seemed to get a kick out of that and Alice paused long enough in her explanation for her friend to chortle at Edward's expense.

"Anyway," she continued, "he said that all you guys need to do is put in a video or give Anthony a coloring book to get rid of him for a few hours."

"What the hell? Does Jasper tell you _everything_?"

Bella looked over at Edward with raised eyebrows, no doubt responding to the disgust that laced his words. But of course, she knew him; recognized his pain, and she got up to follow him as he stomped from the room.

"What'd I do?" Alice asked after them.

"Nothing," Bella tossed over her shoulder. "And for my sake, can you please change the topic of this conversation since my mother is sitting right there?"

"Oh please," Renee pshawed. "Like I don't know what goes on around here. You do remember the day I met Edward, don't you?"

Edward was far enough away when the cackles of laughter escaped from the kitchen. He was in the living room, staring absently out the front window, when Bella came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"It's not a big deal, you know," she said. "It could have happened to anyone."

"But it didn't," Edward turned his head slightly. "It happened to me, and I should know better, Bella. More than any other person, I should know how important it is to choose my words carefully. But no, I'm too busy playing amateur psychologist to see what the real problem is … me."

"And what problem would that be? That you're not all-knowing and all-seeing?" Bella cut him off. "That you can't always understand the inner-workings of a child's mind so well that you know exactly how he'll interpret every word you utter, even words that aren't intended for his ears?"

Edward realized that Bella was being facetious and he scowled.

"As perfect as I think you are, you _aren't_," she stressed. "None of us are."

"Oh I know I'm not perfect," Edward scoffed. "In fact, I'm so imperfect that I'm the kind of guy who gets married and wants to take his kid on his honeymoon because he's too afraid to leave him behind."

Edward watched the confusion cloud Bella's eyes as she tried to follow the shift in conversation.

Then her features relaxed and she beamed a smile back at him.

"I don't want to leave him either," she said, as if she were confessing a secret.

Suddenly they were both talking at once.

"I mean, I know it's our honeymoon…"

"…there'll be other opportunities to get away together…"

"…feel so insecure about leaving the country and leaving him behind…"

"…after what happened the other day, how can I convince him that he's not being abandoned?"

"…don't want to make a trip like that without the adoption being final…"

After a few seconds, it registered with Edward that Bella was in full agreement with him and he quietly drew her into an embrace.

"If we weren't already married…I'd marry you all over again. Oh, wait…" Edward said as he pelted her hair with kisses.

Bella raised her face to him, but was momentarily distracted by something that was occurring on the other side of the window pane. Edward glanced over his shoulder and saw his mother as she moved around to the passenger side of her car and waited for Carlisle to join her on the sidewalk.

"He's moving around quite well now. He doesn't do that shuffling thing anymore," Bella said.

"I know."

A couple weeks ago, Edward and Anthony had begun accompanying his parents on their Sunday morning walk to the park. It was a non-intrusive way to acclimate Anthony to Carlisle without forcing any interaction.

During the most recent outing, Edward had noticed an improvement to his father's stride as well. He moved more confidently; less like he was trapped inside his own body.

"I'm glad they could make it to the rehearsal dinner," Bella said.

_Me too._ Edward thought it, but he didn't need to verbalize it. By the momentary tightening of her grip around him, Bella signaled that she already knew how he felt.

Arm in arm, Edward and Bella greeted his parents at the front door. Esme tried to downplay how excited she was to join the hub-bub of the festivities, but when Renee pulled her into the kitchen to enlist her help, Esme's excited expression nearly leapt off her face.

On the contrary, Carlisle remained silent and tentative as he assessed his surroundings. Paying no attention to the squealing coming from the kitchen, he moved into the living room, found a chair and sat down, as if he were the only person in the house.

Edward made sure there was a supply of books and magazines on the table for his father to peruse through before he went outside to meet with the minister, who had arrived shortly after his parents had.

"Papa Charlie is going to walk me down this aisle and then I'm going to stand next to your dad and tell him how much I love him and how much I love you. We want you to stand with us, but if you don't want to, you don't have to."

Edward walked up on Bella just as she was giving Anthony this little pep talk and it reminded him that the conversation he needed to have with his son was long overdue.

"I can," Anthony responded.

"Well, I know you can," Bella smiled as if he'd said the wittiest thing in the world. "But do you want to?"

When Anthony said that he did want to, Edward wondered if Bella had beaten him to the punch and had straightened out the misunderstanding with Anthony herself. He bristled at the thought, uncomfortable that Bella had once again cleaned up a mess that he had clearly made.

But as quickly as the idea appeared, it was quenched. Bella denying him of the opportunity to have a father-son moment with Anthony? To right a wrong and strengthen their relationship? She would never take any such thing away from him.

It was unclear how or when it came to be that Edward had certain assurances of love, devotion, security – all things that his youth had certainly been devoid of, that he'd had no reference point for previously; but now were as undeniable as the discernment between night and day and hot and cold.

Bella looked over at him then, her brown eyes melting into his green, and he realized it wasn't unclear at all. The day he let her into his world, those assurances had begun to unfold.

Suddenly, he couldn't wait to get through the rehearsal, the dinner and the ceremony tomorrow. He couldn't wait to tell her, in front of the world as they knew it, that he loved her without a doubt.

"What are you so smiley about?" Bella whispered in Edward's ear a few hours later as they sat at the table set up in their backyard, surrounded by friends and family. "Wait, let me guess…you finally found the notes for that horrible toast Emmett's determined to give us and flushed them down the toilet?"

"I wish," Edward laughed.

"Guys get dishes!" Alice announced as she stood up and backed away from the table.

At her announcement, Emmett suddenly had a flare up of diarrhea and had to lay low, Jasper had a million and one paper cuts that wouldn't allow him to immerse his hands in soapy water and Charlie simply announced from his end of the table that he "didn't do dishes".

"Wimps," Edward muttered loudly as he stood up and began stacking dishes to take into the house. He didn't know what his friends were going on about; most of the dishes were disposable.

"You picked a good man, honey," Renee said to Bella as Edward made his way into the house. It was more of an insult to Charlie than a compliment to Edward, but Bella responded anyway.

"Don't I know it." She smiled and winked at Edward when he turned to look at her right before he disappeared into the house.

Once he stepped foot into the kitchen, he realized why his friends were in such a hurry to turn tail and run. Maybe the plates and utensils were disposable, but the pots, pans and serving trays certainly weren't, and they definitely didn't fit into the dishwasher.

"Ugh," he groaned as he turned on the tap to fill up the sink with water. "I'm the groom. Shouldn't I get a reprieve from this?"

But there was no one else present to corroborate his case, so Edward set about the task of cleaning up on his own.

He was halfway through the stack of chafing dishes to his right when he heard someone enter the kitchen behind him.

"You can just set any dishes on the table. I'll get to them in a minute," Edward said without turning around. The greasy barbeque sauce had made the current dishwater useless and he pulled the stopper to let it funnel down the drain.

"Edw…"

The slurping sound of the grungy sludge as it disappeared into the disposal rung through the kitchen and drowned out the sounds of the laughter and gaiety coming from the back patio. Edward knew there must have been something quite lively going on out there to keep Bella from coming inside to help him because regardless of what she said to her girlfriends, he knew there was no way she would make him clean the kitchen by himself. Sending him inside on his own was probably just some pre-wedding test or something. Well, it was one test he was determined to pass.

Edward smiled at his cunning as he turned to the table to pick up the dishes littered there.

And a startled whimper stabbed him in the throat.

Standing right behind him, with no attention to personal space whatsoever, was Carlisle.

Edward sucked in his breath, slowly, not knowing what to expect as Carlisle studied him like the photos of art in the many magazines Esme made sure he always had at his disposal.

"Edw..." the sound faded out, distorted by long underutilized vocal chords.

After infinite seconds of listening to raspy and labored breathing, Edward realized it was coming from him, but only because the sound stopped long enough for him to gasp as Carlisle's outstretched hand reached up toward his face.

"Ed-war_d_," Carlisle's syllables wafted up to Edward's ears as his fingertips tested the edges of the tresses that lay at Edward's temples.

Carlisle tilted his head slowly to the left, and then the right, visually examining Edward from every angle.

"Edward," he whispered in a childlike voice. And then, much like a child scolds a parent who disembarks on a solo excursion, he asked "Where did you go?"

Edward opened his mouth to answer, a habitual reaction to being asked a question, but once the gesture was made, he found he had nothing to say. What was the answer to his father's question? Where did he go…when? Yesterday? An hour ago? Last week?

As the questions rattled around in his head, Edward wondered what pieces of the puzzle were coming unlocked for his father, or was this simply the product of watching hours and hours of footage of him flashing across that television screen?

But there had been no sound; only the constant spinning of pictures. No utterance of his name…until now.

"Edward," Carlisle placed both of his hands on the sides of Edward's face and asked again, "Where did you go?"

And that's when Edward lost the final grasp he held on the façade he'd been perfecting since he'd turned thirteen in a strange room in a strange house so many years ago.

His eyes filled to overflowing with tears as he allowed himself to mirror the movements of the man before him and trail his fingers over the weathered countenance of a man fatigued by tragedy.

"Dad?" he questioned in a small voice.

"Edward?" Carlisle returned.

They stood that way for an infinite number of minutes; their hands pressed to one another's faces and their eyes asking the questions their lips could not.

"It's okay…it's okay…" Carlisle said as he soothed his son, his little boy. "You're not lost. I'm right here."

Suddenly, all of the questions faded. Instead of trying to figure out what his dad was referring to, which version of Edward he was embracing, Edward simply allowed himself to live in the moment; to revel in the touch he'd thirsted for in his youth and adulthood alike. He leaned into his father's hand, closed his eyes and bawled like a baby.

It was in this position that Bella found him. Just as he'd known she would, she came into the kitchen carrying what was left of the serving dishes, fully prepared to help him finish the chore of the kitchen.

Edward was only dimly conscious of her movements when she stopped short in the doorway as she took in the sight before her. And then she turned away and disappeared.

Moments later she reappeared, sans dishes, pulling Esme behind her.

The two women gripped one another, each one holding the other up, as they stood privy to a moment that had been thirteen years in the making.

Time seemed to speed by and yet, stand still. In the distance the voices of Jasper and Emmett could be heard as they pretended that nothing out of the ordinary was occurring a few feet away and instead, urged their significant others onward, like any other visit where they'd overstayed their welcome. Charlie and Renee made the noises of doting grandparents and Anthony's receptive squeals and laughter revealed that he was an appreciative recipient of their attention.

Suddenly Edward realized that every single being that made up his life - that summed up his inner circle, was all under the same roof at that moment. At that insight, a sense of completeness baptized him. Not only did he belong to all of these people that had touched him so vividly, but as the shackles that guarded his heart stripped away, for the first time in his life, he allowed them all to belong to him as well.

Tentatively, Edward moved his hands from Carlisle's face, down to his shoulders. Ever so softly, he drew his father to him until their chests were touching. And then Edward did what he'd dreamed of doing ever since that day he was led away from his father in that court room.

He laid his head on his father's shoulder, buried his face in his neck and found peace.

Esme could hold back no longer. She left her perch on the outskirts and flung herself at the two most important men in her universe.

Only the sounds of happy tears could be heard in that kitchen, and after drinking his fill of being wrapped in his parents' arms, Edward lifted his eyes to Bella's and saw that her tear-soaked lashes matched his own.

_Thank you._

It was only the beginning of a fraction of what he wanted to tell her.

He waited until eleven o'clock the next morning to say it out loud.

"The first time I met you…well to say that things didn't go well would be a massive understatement."

Edward smirked when he saw the look of bewilderment in Bella's eyes. She'd just finished repeating the vows the minister had fed to her and it was apparent that she'd expected Edward to do the same.

Nonetheless, he had some things he had to say to her and no canned spiel was ever going to do it justice.

"But even though our relationship had a rough start, I've come to realize that all the best relationships in my life have started that way." He looked down at Anthony and gave him a wink before he continued.

"You came into my life like a hurricane and turned everything upside down..."

There were a few chuckles as Edward's words resonated with the audience.

"…but when the dust settled, I saw that upside down was really right side up. You made everything about me right-side up. You gave me my life back, and I'll never be able to thank you enough for that."

Bella started crying then, and Edward's voice began to waver as he tried to keep up with the words he'd committed to memory.

"I've learned firsthand that the unexpected can happen…that the unexpected _does_ happen, but with you in my life, I can navigate anything this life throws at me. And I can't imagine anybody I'd rather have as my co-pilot for the rest of my life. I love you, Bella."

Edward didn't wait for any instructions from the minister or cues for his "I do". It was pretty apparent to the crowd that this couple had pronounced themselves married and had moved on to a very loving, emotional and tearful embrace.

After the ceremony, the bride and groom, their son and two sets of parents walked back down the aisle, through the side gate and out to the stretch limousine that was waiting at the curb. Behind them, very understanding friends and family stayed behind to celebrate the love that had just been demonstrated that morning, while the group that had just departed was on their way to an undisclosed destination to celebrate all that the day had given each and every one of them:

…a little boy with two grandmothers who thought the world of him, a grandfather who possessed a special smile only for him and, as of the night before, another grandfather on the precipice of being enraptured by his legacy…

…a daughterless mother walking arm-in-arm with her son's wife, still bedecked in her bridal gown…

…a sonless father helping his daughter's husband traverse the road to recovery with a father whose most recent memory was a decade old…

…a man and a woman so in love with one another, that all of the sadness, loss, loneliness and tribulation that had coated their lives, was covered and overcome.

"I didn't think we had that rough of a start," Bella told Edward as they trailed behind her parents on the leaf-littered path and pretended not to notice her mother's camera that was capturing their every move.

Edward only laughed at her disagreement. "Either way, it doesn't matter; as long as we finish strong, I don't care how we started."

They slowed their stride and leaned over the top of Anthony's head to share a kiss. They would have to wait until later to do more, but for now, with Anthony between them on one side, and Edward's parents on the other, they simply walked.

It was a strange post-wedding procession, but to three generations of Cullen men, and the women who loved them, it was perfect.

**The End**


	41. Epilogue

**A Rough Start**

**Epilogue**

"Leave me alone!"

"Anthony?"

"Get away from me!"

The front door opened and three children came thundering through it before a resounding _SLAM_! shook the kitchen window.

"Hey!" Bella spun from where she stood frosting cupcakes for Rosalie's upcoming baby shower. She turned and looked over at Edward, who shrugged in return and then went back to cuddling the blonde curly-top that snuggled against his legs.

A nearly thirteen year old Anthony disappeared down the hall, putting as much distance between him and the sister that, until recently, he'd adored so much.

Five and a half years ago, Delaney was named by a brother who had astutely pointed out that since his name started with 'A' and Bella's started with 'B' (not 'I' since nobody called her Isabella), it was time for a 'C'. But Edward hadn't been ready, so without question Anthony skipped to the next letter, 'D', which he reasoned was better anyway, because it was close to the letter 'E' (for Edward).

"What's going on?" Bella tried again for an explanation. There were exactly three days left of summer vacation, and she wasn't sure if she was going to survive another hour of it.

Delaney, the spitting image of her mother at age five, was all too anxious to fill any interested parties in on the events of that afternoon's trip to the park.

"Me and Bodie was havin' a high contest on the swing, and –"

"A _what_ contest?" Edward asked with amusement.

"A high contest. I winned because Bodie cheats. His legs are bigger than mine," Delaney answered matter of fact. Then she put her hands on her hips and reprimanded her father for his faux pas. "Daddy, you inner'upted me."

Edward traded a glance laden with comical indignation with Bella before he apologized to his little girl and urged her to continue.

"When me and Bodie-"

"Bodie and _I,_" Bella corrected, always the teacher.

"When I and Bodie finished the high contest, we wanted to come home b'cause we were hot. So we looked for Anthony to tell him we wanted to go home."

Bodie Hale, who spent his summers with the Cullens while his parents were at work, had been perfectly content to allow Delaney to have the floor. However, now he felt it necessary to pipe up to explain that his mother had told him to make sure to get plenty of fluids on hot summer days so that he wouldn't suffer from heat exhaustion. Bodie was one of those children who always thought he was suffering from some ailment or another. His seventh birthday was coming up in July, but Edward jokingly told him he acted more like he was turning seventy.

"So, you were able to find Anthony and tell him you wanted to come home?" Bella attempted to get her daughter's storytelling back on track. Delaney had long ago discovered that being the storyteller was a precious role because she'd have everyone's attention, and therefore she usually drew it out for as long as she could.

"At first we tried, but we couldn't find him," she looked to Bodie for corroboration. When Bodie nodded, she continued. "He wasn't by the tables or the wall-ball wall, or the swings or anywhere."

"I got worried that maybe he left us and then me and Laney would be lost. And I didn't have my allergy puffer!" Bodie exclaimed.

Edward snickered at that and Delaney feared that she was losing her audience, so she hurriedly pressed on.

"I remembered what you said, Mama, about being lost, and I was going to stay right on the swings, but then Bodie said we could check by the bathroom-"

"Nu-uh! I'm the one who wanted to stay by the swings. _You_ said to check by the bathroom!" contested Bodie.

"I said for you to check by the bathroom. I was going to stay by the swings," Delaney raised her chin at him.

"I couldn't stay by myself. Buddy system, remember?" Bodie asked incredulously, another of the many things his mother had drilled into him that he rattled off at random times throughout the day.

"Okay, so you _both_ decided to go check by the bathrooms," Bella hurried them along. "Good idea, by the way, Bodie. It is always better to stay together." She gave her daughter a warning look and then gestured for her to continue.

Apparently this was the best part of the story, because all of a sudden, both Bodie and Delaney were warring to tell it.

"The bathroom smelled stinky-"

"-but we didn't go in. We went on the other side-"

"-to the back-"

"and that's when I see'd it!"

"Mommy, I screamed, but they wouldn't stop!"

"-pulled his hair."

"Wait, slow down. What was happening?" Bella asked.

"Anthony was getting beat up," Bodie stated, matter of fact.

"By a girl," Delaney added.

Suddenly all of the humor left Edward's face. "What the hell?" he bellowed. The blonde curly-top in his lap, his three-year-old daughter, hastily put her two fingers in her mouth – something she always did when she felt anxious.

"A girl was beating Anthony up," Delaney repeated. "I see'd it."

"Me too," Bodie nodded. "She was pulling his hair and pushing him…and I think she tried to bite him, too."

"Poor Anthony," Bella looked at Edward with worry as she made a move toward the back of the house.

"He got beat up by a _girl_?" Edward muttered in contemptuous disbelief.

"Well of course it seems that way, Edward," Bella rolled her eyes. "Anthony is much too sweet to hit a girl."

"Why the hell not? If she hits him, I say she's fair game."

"Edward!" Bella admonished, but her words held no rebuke as she moved to go to Anthony's room.

But Edward caught her arm before she could get far. "I'm guessing he probably doesn't want to talk to his mother about getting into a fight with a girl."

"But I have to make sure he's alright," Bella protested.

"You're going to make him feel worse," Edward smiled. "My parents will be here soon. Why don't you go get ready and I'll talk to Anthony."

It was Edward and Bella's weekly date night and his parents were coming over to watch the children while Edward and Bella partook of the luxury of having a meal where they weren't interrupted by bickering, crying or the latest current event at school. Often, like teenagers, they'd drive down to the lake, park, and then paw at one another's bodies until they couldn't wait to get home to their bedroom and finish one another off for the night.

"Anthony?" Edward rapped softly on his son's bedroom door. After a few beats silence, the stereo began to blast out a tormented melody. Edward waited an appropriate number of seconds before he opened the door and let himself in.

Anthony scowled at the intrusion and pretended to bury his nose in the entertainment magazine he had opened before him.

Edward crossed over to the stereo and shut it off before taking a seat on the end of his son's bed. He fought the urge to suggest that Anthony pick up his room and instead gave his son the first opportunity to speak. When Anthony continued to ignore him, Edward finally spoke up.

"Hard day?"

"Nope," Anthony quipped, leaving no doubt about how he felt about having his father in his personal space.

"Mis-mey and Grandpa are coming over in a bit. I don't want you to spend the entire evening in your room."

Despite the fact that Anthony had given his grandmother her special nickname when he was five years old, it didn't occur to him to call her anything else. In fact, his siblings and his friends referred to her in this way as well. On the other hand, he and his grandfather shared a less casual relationship and therefore he simply called him 'Grandpa', or 'Gramps' if he was feeling exceptionally cheeky.

Yet even cheeky wasn't enough to classify the brooding young man, whose long, lean body usurped the double-bed he was sprawled upon. It was clear from Anthony's features that he was not only unhappy, he was downright mad.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Edward asked.

"No," Anthony snapped.

"Alright, then," Edward stood up. He'd never appreciated people trying to make him talk when he didn't want to, so he had no plans to force his son to do so. But there was just one thing that was bothering him…

"Anthony…I know Mom and I have always taught you to respect girls and not to be rough with them, but…well that doesn't mean you can't defend yourself."

"I know that."

"Then why didn't you?"

"Why didn't I what?"

"Defend yourself."

Confusion won out over agitation and Anthony put down the magazine long enough to look over at his father.

"What are you talking about?"

"Laney told us what happened at the park-"

Edward's words were cut off by Anthony's loud groan.

"Now Anthony, it's nothing to get too upset about. I can understand that you're not comfortable hitting girls, and the element of surprise wasn't on your side. Plus, I hear there was more than one. With those odds it's no wonder she got a few hits in, but son-"

"Dad-"

"No, listen, Anthony. I know how nice you are and I know what you're gonna say, but I'm giving you permission right now: if a girl ever tries to beat you up again-"

"Beat me up?" Anthony sat straight up, his offense obvious. "You think a girl beat me up?"

Edward faltered for a moment. "Delaney said you were fighting at the park. She said a bunch of girls jumped you and were punching you and…" Edward trailed off when he saw the dubious expression on Anthony's face.

"Well she didn't _exactly_ use those terms, but give or take a few syllables."

"Nobody was fighting, Dad." Anthony lay back down on the bed and used the magazine as a shield from any further conversation.

"Hair pulling, scratching, biting…sounds like fighting to me." Edward didn't bother to add that it sounded like _girls_ fighting. He hoped that the description his daughter had given only applied to the girls and not to Anthony. Either way, he planned to introduce his son to a punching bag ASAP.

"None of that happened."

"Then what did happen?"

"Nothing."

"So I'm supposed to believe that Laney and Bodie imagined all of this?"

Anthony shrugged. "Maybe that's what it looked like to them."

Edward was growing tired with how difficult it was to converse with Anthony and he all but gave up until a snippet of what his daughter had said in the kitchen suddenly came to him.

'…_we went to the other side…to the back… and that's when I see'd him…'_

Saw, not heard, even though altercations were often heard before they were seen.

Of course Anthony wasn't seen because he was _behind the bathrooms_ – a place kids usually went when they didn't want to be seen…

"Anthony, I'm going to ask you one more time," Edward eyed his son suspiciously. "If you weren't fighting, what _were _you doing?"

The crimson stain that began to color Anthony's cheeks gave Edward much more information than he ever expected to get from his son verbally.

"Anthony…"

"She kissed me, Dad! I didn't want her to. She just did it!" Anthony suddenly looked like he was on the verge of tears.

Edward watched the silent battle that waged within Anthony as his son looked everywhere but at him, and he did his best to hide the amusement that so badly wanted to escape.

"So, is she cute?" The humor won out and Edward cracked a smile.

Anthony was caught off guard by his father's question and he almost grinned himself. But then he remembered that it was against a teenager's code of conduct to laugh with a parent, and so he frowned instead.

"I don't know."

"You don't know?" Edward mocked. "You didn't look at her? You don't even know who she is?"

Anthony rolled his eyes. "She's alright."

"Just alright?"

"Looks aren't everything! Why is that all anyone thinks is important?" Anthony snapped.

Edward was taken aback by the outburst. "You're right. It's not."

Anthony pulled at the rim of his sock and suddenly Edward realized that something more than embarrassment might be ailing the boy.

"Anthony, you can talk to me about anything. You know that," Edward coaxed.

"No I can't," Anthony said stubbornly.

"Why can't you?"

"Because you won't understand," Anthony shook his head. "None of my friends do."

"Try me," Edward said bravely – but inwardly he was quite nervous. Anthony wasn't five years old anymore and the days of remedying his sullen moods with ice cream and building blocks were over.

"There's this new girl, Lisa, and all my friends like her because she's got…well they think she's really pretty," Anthony began.

"Uh-huh," Edward encouraged him to go on.

"But she doesn't like any of them because they say stupid stuff all the time." Anthony continued to pull at his sock as he spoke.

"She doesn't like anyone, eh?" Edward prompted.

"She likes…me."

A little bit of paternal pride welled up in Edward as he watched his son grapple with his thoughts.

"And you like her?"

Anthony shrugged. "Everyone keeps telling me that I should ask her out and stuff. And her friends," Anthony paused to roll his eyes. "Her friends are the worst! They follow me everywhere. 'When are you going to call Lisa?' 'Are you going to take Lisa to the movies?' 'Lisa wrote you a note. Did you write her back?' They never leave me alone!"

"So tell 'em to leave you alone," Edward said as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

Anthony sighed in exasperation and lay back down on the bed. "I knew you wouldn't understand."

"I won't understand that everyone thinks you're all that because Lisa likes you, and if you don't like her back then they'll think there's something wrong with you?"

"Something like that."

"So you kissed her."

"I wasn't planning to. It just sort of happened."

"Things like that don't just happen, Anthony."

"I was sitting on the bench watching Laney and Bodie when Lisa's friend, Robin, came up and tapped me on the shoulder. She said that Lisa wanted to talk to me behind the bathrooms. Only, when I went behind the bathrooms, I saw Lisa there with Mike and Jeremy." Anthony stole a glance at his father before continuing. "She told them she liked me and so they wanted to ask me if I liked her."

"And you said…"

"I said I guess I did."

"But you don't."

"Dad, they asked me right in front of her! What was I supposed to say?" Anthony asked in agitation. "And then they dared us to kiss each other, so we did. That's it. No big deal."

"I bet Lisa would think it was a big deal. In fact, I'm positive Lisa is on the phone this very minute reliving that big deal for all her friends," Edward said. "She's going to be devastated when she finds out that you don't feel the same way about her that she feels about you."

"I didn't say I didn't like her. I said I don't _know_ if I like her." Anthony argued. And then all the fight left him, and he looked just like the little boy his father remembered. He looked over at Edward then, and asked in a small voice, "Have you ever…did any of your friends ever tell you to do something that you didn't really want to do?"

"Please tell me we're still talking about a girl," Edward begged.

"We are," Anthony confirmed. "The thing is, my friends really know me, and if they think Lisa is perfect for me, then, I should probably listen to them…right?"

Edward stopped himself from giving the obvious answer. Instead, he stared into Anthony's imploring eyes – that gaze pleading with him to give him an easy escape to a problem that seemed so monumental to a twelve-and-a-half year old.

After weighing the pros and cons, Edward decided to tell Anthony the entire truth about how he'd dealt with a similar situation.

"When I was in high school, there was this beautiful girl there. And when I say beautiful, I don't just mean her face. She just had this attitude about her. _She_ thought she was beautiful, and therefore everyone else did, too."

"She sounds stuck up."

"Oh she was. But all the guys wanted to date her anyway. Only, she didn't like them. She wanted the one guy who didn't seem to be paying her any attention."

"Was that you?"

Edward nodded. "All my friends told me I'd be a fool if I didn't go out with her. Even though she hadn't wanted to date any of them, she'd befriended them all, so they knew both of us. They kept telling me how alike we were and how we liked all the same things and how she would be the perfect girl for me."

"Did you ask her out?"

"I did."

"And was it as perfect as your friends said?"

"Not at all," Edward laughed. "We fought like cats and dogs _because_ we were so much alike. We didn't have anything to learn from each other and we got bored pretty quick. We broke up, but then we'd listen to our friends, get back together, only to remember why we broke up in the first place."

"Did you ever start to like her?"

"It took me awhile to realize that I only liked her as a friend. There were other girls who I liked a lot better, but I never got the chance to pursue them because I was wasting time with someone I didn't really care about – all because my friends told me I should."

"Whatever happened to that girl? Did you finally tell her you didn't like her?"

"We finally told each other we weren't a good match." Edward held Anthony's gaze with his own. "But a lot of years passed and a lot of bad things happened in the meantime…and only _one_ good thing."

"What was that?"

"You were born."

When Anthony looked puzzled for a moment, Edward solved the riddle for him.

"It was your mother – your _biological_ mother."

"Oh," Anthony said quietly and looked down at his hands.

The dichotomy of emotions he felt at being reminded that Bella was his adoptive mother filtered across Anthony's face. Three years ago, he'd confessed to Edward that he didn't know how to feel about Jessica because he didn't remember her very well and it made him feel guilty. And asking questions about her had made him feel guilty as well, because he'd thought he was making Bella feel uncomfortable and unloved. He'd also feared that Bella would love his sisters more as a result of him asking about his biological mother – something he'd confessed to his Papa Charlie on one of their overnight fishing expeditions. Charlie had discreetly made a hypothetical suggestion to his daughter about how someone in a similar situation might want to respond. Bella had immediately heeded her father's words and had a heart-to-heart talk with Anthony about how much he meant to her – all of him – his past, present and future.

"How you came to me shaped who you are as a person, and I love you so much and think that you are so perfect. I couldn't fathom having an issue with anything that has made you everything that you are today. I never met Jessica, but I love her immensely for bringing you into this world. If you ever want to ask your father anything, please know that I don't mind at all. On the contrary, I'll be more upset if you _don't_ ask. It's important to know these things. I ask Daddy questions about your mother all the time." And then with a wink, she corrected herself. "Your _biological_ mother."

It had been enough to satisfy Anthony and occasionally he'd ask a question or two about Jessica, but it was clear that it wasn't something he liked to bring up often. Still, Edward thought it was important that Anthony understand that even though the relationship between Jessica and Edward hadn't been ideal, the product of Anthony had been.

"Anthony, you have plenty of time to kiss girls when you get older. That's not something you need to rush into at your age."

"I know but…that's all my friends are into."

"Well, maybe it's time to find some new friends – friends with interests more similar to yours."

"Well…it's not that I don't _like _girls." Anthony sidelined a glance at Edward. "Some of them are pretty cool."

Oh.

Edward understood immediately.

"Anyone in particular?"

"Not really," Anthony feigned ignorance. "Well, I dunno…maybe Julie."

"Julie? Julie, from down the street?" Edward asked of the unassuming young girl that lived a few houses down.

"Yeah. She built a rocket that actually launched. That was pretty cool."

"Really?"

"Uh-huh, and she also made this sandwich that had three kinds of meat, and peanut butter and tomatoes on it. It was disgusting-looking, but she ate it. Everyone was really grossed out, but she didn't even care. It was so awesome."

Edward couldn't help laughing out loud. It had been a long time since Anthony had opened up to him about the everyday happenings in his life, and Edward wasn't anxious to have the moment come to an end.

"Hey Anthony, what do you say we go out to dinner tonight, just you and me?" Edward asked.

"But what about Mom? I thought you guys were going out."

"We can go out another night. Besides, I think you're going to need me to tell you what to do when Julie finds out that you kissed Lisa."

Anthony's eyes grew wide with fear. "You think she'll find out?"

"I think she probably already knows by now."

Anthony collapsed down against his pillow in despair, but Edward pulled him up on his feet. "Get up, Romeo, and get ready. I'm gonna go tell Mom about our change in plans."

"Dad?" Anthony asked in a small voice right before Edward exited his room.

"Yeah, son?"

"We're not…gonna talk about sex again are we?"

"Nope."

"Good!"

Edward was still holding in his laughter when he made it back to the living room. He hadn't heard his parents' arrival, and he was surprised to see his mother holding out her purse as Bodie looked on while Delaney waded through it in search of the "treasure" she was sure to find there.

On the sofa, Carlisle sat with Edward's youngest daughter secure in his lap with her head resting on his chest as she played with the prism key chain she always reached for when he was near.

Yet unseen, Edward took the opportunity to watch his parents with his kids – something he never grew tired of viewing. He took in the way his mother hung on Delaney's every word and the way she even managed to include Bodie as if he were one of her own.

And Carlisle…

He'd made strides by leaps and bounds over the past seven years and Edward was in awe of him every day. Though he would never return to an occupation and preferred not to be without a companion on an outing, anyone who hadn't known Carlisle would be hard pressed to guess that he'd been mute for over ten years.

The advanced therapy that Esme had taken a huge financial risk on had worked wonders, and hospitals, medical research groups and psychologists the world over were trying their hardest to get Carlisle to speak about his experiences.

But Carlisle wasn't interested. As only his family could truly understand, he'd spent too many years being a prisoner to the horrors of his past, and he didn't want to devote any more time to being reminded of the tragedy that had decimated years of his life, and the lives of his loved ones.

For that reason, Edward had been leery of the decision he and Bella had made nearly four years ago: to name their youngest daughter Claire, after his sister, whose death had been the catalyst for Cullen's personal Armageddon.

Edward, himself, hadn't been able to consider a namesake for his sister when Delaney was born, but after two years of focusing on the positives of such an action, he was finally ready to add that 'C' name to their family when Bella had unexpectedly announced that they were having another little girl.

Nonetheless, though he was confident of his own readiness, he was terrified of the effect it would have on his father. So scared, in fact, that all the way up until the baby was actually born, Edward and Bella had another name selected just in case.

But once they laid eyes on their blonde-haired, blue-eyed bundle, it was as if his sister was sending him a message from the afterlife. Even now, almost four years later, his daughter looked so much like his sister did at that age that their photographs were interchangeable.

"We're going to name her Claire," Edward had said to his parents that day when the decision had been solidified in his mind.

Esme had cried and Carlisle had simply stared down at the baby fondly.

"She's definitely a Claire," he'd said softly.

And she'd been the apple of his eye ever since.

Before Edward could reminisce anymore as he took in the scene, Bella was behind him, squeezing his hand and looking at him nervously.

"Well?" she asked when she got him alone in the kitchen.

"Well what?"

"What do you mean, 'what'? What's going on with Anthony?" she asked impatiently. "Is he okay? What happened?"

"Oh," Edward smiled. "We don't have anything to worry about. Anthony's a lover, not a fighter."

When Bella didn't catch on to the joke, Edward gave her another clue.

"He wasn't fighting," he wiggled his eyebrows notoriously.

"Then what was he doing?" Bella's concern was getting the best of her reasoning ability.

"Kissing."

"Kissing? _Kissing?_ Kissing!" Bella hissed.

"Don't go making a big deal, Bella. And before you ask, no, you don't know the girl."

"Edward, he's too young to be going around kissing girls. You need to talk to him. You need to…no, _I_ need to talk to him. He definitely needs a female perspective…"

"Honey," Edward placed his hands on Bella's shoulders to calm her. "You're over-reacting. And I _am_ going to talk to him. Tonight. If you don't mind, I think I should take him out, kind of a guys night out sort of thing."

"I think that's a great idea." Bella nodded. "I'm sure Laney and Claire will love having Grandma and Grandpa all to themselves. Let me just get my purse."

"Why?"

The confusion skirted across Bella's face and then dissipated. "Oh. Right. Guys night out."

"We'll go out twice next week. I promise."

"No. It's okay. It sounds like Anthony needs a little one-on-one time. And besides, if your parents are up for it, I might just take advantage of being able to grocery shop without Claire. Suddenly she doesn't want to ride in the cart anymore."

Edward smiled and pulled Bella against his chest. "Thanks babe," he said before kissing her lightly on the lips. "And if you need something to do, I could give you a little project."

"What's that?" From the glimmer in her eyes, Edward could tell that Bella thought he was going to suggest something sexual.

Well, he was…sort of.

"I've been thinking about something for awhile now, and I want you to think about it…to be open to thinking about it, at least," he began.

That certainly got Bella's attention and she reared back to look him in the eye. "I'm not getting on a motorcycle with you, Edward."

"No, that's not it," he chuckled. He kissed her ear, nibbled on the lobe for a second, and then whispered, "I'd like to give Anthony something I never had."

"What?" Bella's voice revealed that she hadn't yet recovered from the impact of his ear ministrations.

"A brother."

Bella blustered as she realized what Edward was saying, but before she could ask him if he was seriously asking her to consider having another baby, his parents caught sight of him and interrupted the discussion to give him the warm, jubilant greeting they always lavished upon him.

Still stunned by what Edward had said, Bella managed to get out of the house and on to the grocery store like she'd planned, but her mind definitely wasn't on the chore. _A baby?_ And more specifically, a baby boy? What was Edward thinking? It wasn't as if they had any control over the gender of the baby. What if they had another girl? Then what?

"I'm not seriously thinking of doing this, am I?" Bella questioned herself out loud. True, just six months ago she'd considered broaching the subject of another child with Edward, but now she wondered if she'd only considered it because she _knew_ Edward would say no. He'd made it clear that he only wanted one or two more kids after they were married, and they had that.

But another boy…

If it would be half as much fun to raise another little boy as it had been to raise Anthony…and to experience him from birth…

Suddenly Bella felt herself warming to the idea. More than warming…seriously considering.

And by nine o'clock that night, more than considering it.

Across town, Edward's cell phone buzzed in his pocket and he retrieved it to see that he had a message from his wife.

_How are things going? Did you tell Anthony that he's too young for a girlfriend?_

_Great. And you don't have to worry about Anthony._

_ Coming home soon?_

_We'll be home in a bit. But in the meantime, you have some thinking to do._

_ I know and I have been._

_ And?_

_ What do you think of the name Forrest?_

_ I think it starts with an F, like something else-_

"Dad, is everything okay? Is something wrong at home?"

Edward barely registered Anthony's question as he looked up from his phone.

"Uh, no. Nothing's wrong."

"Oh. Because your face looks kind of weird and you're holding your phone like it's going to fly out of your hands."

Edward rolled his eyes and pointed at the basket of fries that sat between them. "Are you done?"

"Yeah. I can't eat another bite." Anthony sat back and rubbed his stomach.

"It's a miracle," Edward smirked as he left the money for the tip on the table.

"So, where to now?" Anthony asked as they marched toward the truck that was tucked in the back of the restaurant's parking lot.

"Home."

"Already?"

"Yeah. Your mother's waiting."

The sounds of crickets and frogs filled the night air and then Anthony suddenly made a bilious groaning sound.

"Dad!"

"What?" Edward reacted to the accusation in Anthony's tone.

"You said we weren't going to talk about sex!"

"We," Edward pointed between the two of them, "aren't."

"That is so gross," Anthony shook his head.

"Yet another reason why I know you're too young to be kissing girls."

Anthony balked at his father's words, even though he secretly agreed. He liked girls, and he liked the attention he got from them…well, some of them. But kissing girls was scary. He'd much rather blow something up.

"Dad?"

"Yeah, son?"

"Thanks…for tonight."

Edward draped his arm across Anthony's shoulder and leaned down and briefly touched his lips to his son's hair.

"Thank you, for always."

They walked the rest of the way in silence and Anthony moved a little closer to his dad and reveled in the feel of the comforting grip on his shoulder. It was times like these that made Anthony feel a little sad at the idea of growing up and not being his father's little boy forever.

And it was times like these that made Edward sure that he couldn't wait to father a little boy all over again.

**The End.**


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